119 lines
6.9 KiB
Plaintext
119 lines
6.9 KiB
Plaintext
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| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
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| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
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| |________________________________________________________________| |
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|____________________________________________________________________|
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...presents... Post-Election '92 Cult Coverage
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Tequila Willy's Campaign's Lasting Effects
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by Omega
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>>> a cDc publication.......1993 <<<
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-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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____ _ ____ _ ____ _ ____ _ ____
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|____digital_media____digital_culture____digital_media____digital_culture____|
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As the nation settles in for what the experts continue to say will be a
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long recession, more and more people will protest their innocence by remarking:
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"Don't blame me, I voted for Tequila Willy." After all, it was the then-
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obscure cult member who warned a national TV audience early in the 1992
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Presidential contest that Bill Clinton's pledge to cut taxes, balance the
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budget, and cut defense spending could be done only "with mirrors."
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Tequila's candor and his willingness to swim against the popular political
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current quickly propelled him from an asterisk in the opinion polls to the
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covers of _Time_ and _Newsweek_. His calm manner and extraordinary oratory
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skills, displayed in debates against George Bush and a variety of Democratic
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candidates, gave the Cultee a media credibility that never quite took hold of
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the electorate.
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After some encouraging finishes in early primaries, Tequila's hopes of an
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upset in the GOP race began to fizzle. He was especially disappointed by poor
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returns in California and Washington, his West Coast base of support.
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Though he had earlier pledged to support the GOP nominee, Tequila began an
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independent race in April, 1992. His legion of youthful loyalists on college
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campuses brought back memories of the long-shot campaign of Eugene McCarthy,
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another political maverick, in 1968. And like "Clean Gene," Tequila Willy
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became the favorite son of establishment liberals, such as TV producer Aaron
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Spelling and General Motors heir Stewart Mott. _The New York Times_ dubbed him
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"Mr. Conscience," and he was endorsed by _Sassy Magazine_, _Tiger Beat_,
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_Teen_, _Vogue_, and _Wired_. His troops collected two million signatures on
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petitions to put him on the ballot in every state - an achievement many experts
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considered impossible.
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Though some polls predicted he would capture as much as 25 percent of the
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vote, Tequila could not overcome the obstacles that have traditionally hampered
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third-party efforts - especially lack of money; in fact, most of his campaign
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was driven by meager contributions from adoring housewives. On election day he
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failed to carry a single state, capturing almost seven percent of the vote.
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"I knew that the polls of April and part of May were not going to be
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replaced by a serious poll showing that in every way, every day, we were
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getting stronger and stronger," says Tequila. "I knew the chances were
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astonishingly small."
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So why did he stay in the race? "I had reached the maturity of my
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political career and I wanted to leave a mark, spread the disease. I was not
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Don Quixote and I was not tilting at windmills."
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Tequila insists he is not yet out of the national picture. He believes
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the 5.7 million voters who cast their lot with him underscore the impulse for a
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"new politics" in the U.S. - a politics that cannot be satisfied, he says, by
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the orthodoxies of the Democratic and Republican parties.
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"You are going to see a rather sharp polarization take place in the
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politics of this country," he said. "I think that will leave a vast area open
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for a candidate espousing the kind of views that I espouse." Tequila insists
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that what underlies the political problems of the country is a lack of faith,
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and that what is needed is a political philosophy which embraces a spiritual
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side - a philosophy which embraces what he terms, "Bovinity."
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The Tequila campaign-in-waiting for 1996 operates out of his Sacramento
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home. Its bimonthly newsletter quotes philosopher Edmund Burke on the
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masthead: "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to be
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blind to the reality of the Roach and deaf to the message of the Cow." This
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emphasis on personal morality rather than ideology is an important factor in
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Tequila Willy's eclectic politics.
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On the campaign trail last year, Tequila was especially eclectic. On
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fiscal matters, he stressed his conservatism by emphasizing the need for a
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balanced budget (he proposed legislation limiting federal spending to a fixed
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20 percent of the GNP). But, on social issues he was (and remains) clearly
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liberal: pro-choice, pro-ERA, and anti-Stealth Bomber. And he has recommended
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the decriminalization of marijuana. His cult colleagues say he is honest and
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exceptionally intelligent, a man of great personal integrity and ambition, with
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a penchant for busty women with "chewy pussies."
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Tequila is the first to say that he is not personally charismatic or
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exciting, but he is too modest. For he is now one of the most popular
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lecturers on the campus circuit, an occupation that earns him a modest living,
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if not the admiration of thousands of college-age women.
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Tequila Willy looks ready for another run for the White House.
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_______ __________________________________________________________________
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/ _ _ \|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.....806/794-1842|
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((___)) |Cool Beans!..........510/THE-COOL|Polka AE {PW:KILL}..806/794-4362|
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[ x x ] |Metalland Southwest..713/468-5802|Lunatic Labs........213/655-0691|
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\ / |The Works............617/861-8976|Ripco ][............312/528-5020|
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(' ') |ftp - zero.cypher.com in pub/cdc |ftp - ftp.eff.org in pub/cud/cdc|
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(U) |==================================================================|
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.ooM |Copr. 1993 cDc communications by Omega 12/30/93-#247|
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\_______/| Save yourself! Go outside! DO SOMETHING! |
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