409 lines
25 KiB
Plaintext
409 lines
25 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
_
|
|
| \
|
|
| \
|
|
| | \
|
|
__ | |\ \ __
|
|
_____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________
|
|
| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
|
|
| | _/_/_____ | | > > _/_/_____ | |
|
|
| | /________/ | | / / /________/ | |
|
|
| | | | / / | |
|
|
| | | |/ / | |
|
|
| | | | / | |
|
|
| | | / | |
|
|
| | |_/ | |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
|
|
| |________________________________________________________________| |
|
|
|____________________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
...presents... The Darkroom
|
|
by Mark Vaxlov
|
|
|
|
>>> a cDc publication.......1993 <<<
|
|
-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
|
|
____ _ ____ _ ____ _ ____ _ ____
|
|
|____digital_media____digital_culture____digital_media____digital_culture____|
|
|
|
|
Prologue
|
|
|
|
I was seventeen, in my fourth year of high school, when it happened. I
|
|
didn't expect them to react the way they did. I didn't expect fights, and I
|
|
didn't expect to be continually harassed in class every time the teacher turned
|
|
his back. Unfortunately, that is what began to happen. Even the teachers
|
|
contributed to the situation by turning a blind eye to my situation as often as
|
|
possible.
|
|
|
|
I once thought of bringing a gun to class and killing every one of them,
|
|
including the teachers, but decided that it would be more "mature" to put up
|
|
with it. I figured that this situation would die out when I reached high
|
|
school. For the most part, I was right. However, a certain animosity remained
|
|
and left me confused and uncertain. Girls liked popular guys and they also
|
|
liked guys who displayed confidence. I never scored in high school 'till that
|
|
wonderful night when I got an unfair advantage.
|
|
|
|
Spring
|
|
|
|
It was spring, and I was getting behind on my photography project. It was
|
|
close to year's end and I figured that if I came in one night and really worked
|
|
hard at getting the job done, I would raise my grade. I felt it would also
|
|
help boost an average that was starting to sag because of some other courses I
|
|
was taking then.
|
|
|
|
I chose a Friday because there was also a dance on that night and I
|
|
figured it would be better to work on my project at school than to stay at
|
|
home, listening to music and thinking about how every one else is out having
|
|
fun (like I usually did). The teacher gave me the keys to the building and
|
|
warned me that I would be held responsible if any damage was incurred in that
|
|
section of the building. He knew I was a good kid, but probably just couldn't
|
|
forget the time I detonated a firecracker during his class.
|
|
|
|
The Big Night
|
|
|
|
It was a bit chilly out that night so I had to wear my maroon jacket. It
|
|
was a strange looking thing, a hand-me down from my grandpa. The stars
|
|
twinkled with leering madness as I roamed the streets on my way to school. I
|
|
felt like a spectre crossing into another place, a place of deserted streets
|
|
and empty houses. I was a bit shaken by the chill wind and overall quiet, and
|
|
alternately scanned the streets and sky as I walked. I heard some voices off
|
|
to one side. Jackalish leering noises, women screaming, shit-faced laughter.
|
|
Ahhh! I thought, with recognition. The joys of living in a neighborhood
|
|
infested with student vermin! Actually, something happened after I passed the
|
|
student's party. A shiver ran up my spine. It was like I accidentally
|
|
intersected an invisible boundary. To this day I can't account for it. I just
|
|
had a feeling that I was suddenly in new territory where normal laws no longer
|
|
apply.
|
|
|
|
I was approaching the school and noticed a noisy line outside the
|
|
building. I was a bit surprised that they hadn't gone in yet, as it was after
|
|
eight o'clock and decided to wait off to one side in the field until the lineup
|
|
was gone.
|
|
|
|
I was wearing a black shirt with dark jeans under my open jacket and was
|
|
almost invisible as I stood waiting in the shadow of some pine trees. I
|
|
scanned the waiting teens with some amusement. Up against the school wall I
|
|
could see chubby, blonde-haired, big-titted Cathy necking with her thirty year
|
|
old boyfriend. He was a big monster in tattered jeans, with tattoos up his
|
|
arms. I heard he made a "good" living pumping gas. I watched as he palmed her
|
|
floppy breasts and pressed her against the wall. Cathy liked to be watched.
|
|
She knew that screwing an older man would improve her social status a bit at
|
|
school, and this was her proof of conquest.
|
|
|
|
She conveniently snubbed her friends (huddled together, off to one side)
|
|
to be with her "man." I could see Cindy and two other girls I couldn't
|
|
recognize rolling in the grass beside the school wall. They were apparently
|
|
pissed, or at least thought they were. A few guys I didn't recognize wearing
|
|
baseball caps came over and slipped them a joint, which they passed around.
|
|
Then they began to act sillier than ever. When the guys started to paw them,
|
|
the girls told them to fuck off. One of the guys came up behind Cindy, reached
|
|
around her neck and held a switchblade to her throat. He pulled her up and
|
|
faced her away from the lineup so no one else could see. It happened too
|
|
suddenly, and her friends were too shitfaced to notice. The guys led her off,
|
|
alone and frightened to a secluded corner behind the big blue garbage bin. We
|
|
never saw her again.
|
|
|
|
I saw Jane standing by the doorway with a bunch of her friends. They were
|
|
talking excitedly about something, gum-popping, staring at boys, all dressed in
|
|
those idiotic bermuda shorts, showing off their abnormally thin legs. I
|
|
remember my sister telling me about how she caught one of them throwing up in
|
|
the bathroom at school; purging her lunch, keeping skinny. Watching them made
|
|
ME feel like tossing my cookies. "Cover those legs!" I felt like shouting.
|
|
Their figures looked like the figures of little boys.
|
|
|
|
I heard some rustling, whispering, and giggles off to my left. There was
|
|
something white moving on the grass about fifteen feet away. I cautiously
|
|
approached. To my surprise the white "sheet" resolved itself into two
|
|
interlocked partially-dressed human forms. They were wildly rutting, lost in
|
|
their own little world. They didn't notice me as I stood watching less than
|
|
six feet away. I recognized them both. The guy was Rob, a pretty-boy senior
|
|
jerk who treated women like shit but who nevertheless always had a girlfriend.
|
|
"If you want me, you'll get down on all fours!" he yelled to Tula in a crowded
|
|
hallway once. She was a cute junior who gave herself to him at a party one
|
|
night, thinking that he'd respect the sacrifice. Tula was sobbing. We were
|
|
horrified. She dropped to her knees, crying, falling forward onto her hands -
|
|
to the correct position. He picked her up gently, after calling her a "good
|
|
doggie" and walked her out of the hall. He dumped her the next week. Now he
|
|
was with another. This girl's name was Mira and she was a cute fifteen year
|
|
old cheerleader. I left them to their fucking when a loud disturbance by the
|
|
school doors diverted my attention. Two guys were fighting over some girl -
|
|
hunched forward, switchblades drawn, circling, looking for openings. The girl
|
|
was standing disinterested in the background, popping gum, with a vacant stare
|
|
in her eyes. Now and then I would see a flash of light off one of the blades
|
|
as a thrust was made. It vaguely reminded me of a fist-fight I had seen a year
|
|
ago. It was between two older guys reducing each other's faces to unrecog-
|
|
nizable bloody masks. But this was different; the other fight took hours...
|
|
this would take only a few minutes. A cop car pulled into the yard, probably
|
|
for some other reason, and both guys disappeared into the lineup. The doors
|
|
opened and people began filing in. When the line was gone a lone figure lay
|
|
where the crowd had been. It was one of the boys, stabbed in the back. The
|
|
cop car just missed seeing him on its way out of the yard but I had to go by
|
|
him on my way into the building.
|
|
|
|
Inside the School
|
|
|
|
As I passed by the gym, I had to wade through a noisy sea of teenage
|
|
"excreta," smoking and giving me condescending glances outside the dance area.
|
|
It was like those first few sunny days of spring on campus. The arts and
|
|
business students would suddenly appear out of nowhere, sunning their pale
|
|
bodies, smoking, listening to ghetto-blasters on the patio outside the
|
|
building. There were hundreds of them. They wore 60's style clothes... jeans
|
|
with multiple patches, John Lennon glasses, all that crap. They gave me the
|
|
same look. "Did you see all those girls outside?," a friend asked. Girls? I
|
|
was confused. I thought the sewer had backed up. The voices and music faded
|
|
in the distance as I walked up the ramp and entered through the fire-doors that
|
|
led into the North wing of the building. This was where all the technical
|
|
courses were taught: graphic arts, auto-body, shop, electronics, etc. There
|
|
was also a room that doubled as a photography classroom. Up ahead I could hear
|
|
the janitors laughing, exchanging dirty jokes. They had a room off on a wing
|
|
to one side. Their loud talk reverberated around the dark halls.
|
|
|
|
"A bit tight, but what do you expect from a twelve year old!" one of them
|
|
said. Raucous laughter followed. I remembered the day I discovered that the
|
|
boiler room was above the girl's washroom. I couldn't believe it! Now I
|
|
understood why the washrooms on the second floor were reversed from the ones
|
|
on the first. I could just imagine them up there, peeping through holes at
|
|
girls squatting on toilets, jacking off into dirty clenched fists. Laughter.
|
|
Maybe occasionally, they would come down and scoop a girl from below, drag her
|
|
screaming and kicking into the darkness above, never to be heard from again. I
|
|
still wonder what happened to Lynda. She disappeared like that: without a
|
|
trace.
|
|
|
|
I was surprised to find the door of the photography classroom unlocked.
|
|
There was a puddle of vomit on the floor in the darkened hall, which I saw only
|
|
after I turned on the classroom light. I felt uneasy because of it and
|
|
nervously looked around the room for some sign of occupation. There was none,
|
|
so I went in, locking the door behind me.
|
|
|
|
Developing the Negatives
|
|
|
|
I had my camera with me, as it contained some exposed film. I partly
|
|
brought it because it was safer to take the film out in the complete darkness
|
|
of the lab and partly because it would make it easier to explain my presence in
|
|
this part of the building (should someone stop me on my way to the room). I
|
|
also had my bag with some other exposed rolls, and some photographic paper that
|
|
my dad had got from somewhere at a discount price. After setting up the
|
|
necessary chemicals on one of the benches and getting out the plastic
|
|
developing tanks, I turned out the light and groped my way back to the bench.
|
|
About half an hour later after fumbling in the dark to get the negatives in
|
|
and finding the light switch, I turned on the light. Everything was perfect.
|
|
I now began to measure out the chemicals into graduated cylinders. I wanted to
|
|
do all three spools immediately. I hit the timer after pouring the first one,
|
|
distributing it almost evenly among the three tanks. I repeated the process
|
|
for the other stages of developing negatives. Later, I opened the containers
|
|
and hung the negatives to dry.
|
|
|
|
Rick's Sister
|
|
|
|
I used a hand blower to dry the negatives, occasionally looking closely at
|
|
some more memorable shots. One roll fascinated me to no end. This was the one
|
|
that contained pictures of Rick's sister.
|
|
|
|
Rick was a pretty good guy and his sister was really attractive. She was
|
|
a wispy blonde-haired junior. We managed to get her to pose naked for us,
|
|
although Rick was reluctant to persuade her. I still remember those moments in
|
|
the room with her. She was all nervous, her face flushed and red. Rick
|
|
excused himself from the whole thing. "Do you want me to do this?" she said,
|
|
laying on the bed in some imitation of a pose she may have seen in a men's
|
|
magazine once.
|
|
|
|
She looked really unnatural doing that. "Sure," I said from behind the
|
|
camera, madly clicking away at anything she did. I was so nervous that I could
|
|
hardly stop my hands from shaking. My heart was pounding wildly, and I
|
|
clutched the camera: afraid that I would drop it and make an ass out of myself.
|
|
Less than five minutes later I had exhausted all 36 exposures, winding up with
|
|
36 pictures that roughly looked the same. I bolted from the room in wild
|
|
confusion with my prize, running, frightened by my lack of control, all the way
|
|
home. Naturally, I had to make up a story about suddenly feeling sick to
|
|
explain my odd behavior. I am still haunted by the thought that I may have
|
|
hurt her by leaving like that. "Such a sweet kid," I thought sadly to myself
|
|
as I perused the pictures. The last one seemed different, and it bothered my
|
|
conscience. She seemed to have an odd expression on her face: an expression of
|
|
stark terror - as if in that instant she realized what I was about to do.
|
|
|
|
The Dark Room
|
|
|
|
I sat there for a moment, my head in my hands, before going into the
|
|
darkroom to make some prints. I didn't want to print any of the ones of Rick's
|
|
sister. Something really bothered me about them. I decided to concentrate on
|
|
the ones related to my projects. A glance at the clock showed that I had
|
|
already been there several hours. I cut the rolls into proper-sized strips and
|
|
headed into the darkroom. The darkroom was a small office-like enclosure off
|
|
to one side of the classroom with black paper covering all the glass windows on
|
|
its front face. To further reduce light, the interior had been painted a flat
|
|
black color. It had all the equipment needed for printing negatives: an
|
|
enlarger, timer, developing trays, and chemicals. I quickly set up the
|
|
negatives by the enlarger and closed the door. It was pitch black inside, and
|
|
I flicked on the red light. I placed one of the strips into the enlarger and
|
|
began perusing my pictures, trying to decide which ones would be printed.
|
|
|
|
I had just set up the photographic paper and was making a test strip in
|
|
the dim red light when something happened. A chill passed through me, causing
|
|
me to shudder and the hair stood up on the back of my neck. A sense of horror
|
|
riveted me to the spot, my mind telling me in no uncertain terms that something
|
|
was terribly wrong here. I was horrified. Even before I realized what had set
|
|
me off, I knew that I was NOT ALONE IN THIS ROOM. It took me minutes before I
|
|
could force myself to turn around - to stare into the recesses of the far
|
|
corner where the faint sound of breathing emanated.
|
|
|
|
The Doll
|
|
|
|
It looked like a doll, a mere caricature of a human, but closer inspection
|
|
showed that it was the genuine article. Her name was Lisa and she was also in
|
|
my photography class. She looked sinister in the red light, dressed in a black
|
|
frilly party dress, with black stockings and dark top. Her eye makeup was
|
|
smeared down her cheeks and her dark hair was in complete disarray. She
|
|
smelled of puke and at first I thought she was asleep, but I was wrong. Her
|
|
eyes were open and dilated. She was staring sightless up at the ceiling,
|
|
irregularly breathing, her forehead beaded with a cold sweat. I didn't really
|
|
notice it before, but the room must have gotten cold. It was cold enough that
|
|
I could see her breath rising from her parted lips, even under the dim red
|
|
light. I kept expecting her to move or something, but she didn't. She looked
|
|
like a corpse or a rag doll, propped up spread-eagled in the corner. All she
|
|
did was breathe. It was like I wasn't there. I stepped back, noticing a
|
|
puddle on the floor. She must have pissed herself.
|
|
|
|
Lisa was a real "popular" girl in our school. I fell madly in lust with
|
|
her the first day I saw her. Back then, I used to believe that women should be
|
|
placed on pedestals and admired. Her snobbish ways and interesting attire only
|
|
helped re-enforce my delusion that women were somehow special and remote. I
|
|
remember that day at Rick's house. I was nervously pushing the buttons to call
|
|
her up. Rick was on the extension. I kept hanging up while dialing, afraid
|
|
that I had gotten the number wrong. Rick was getting pissed off. I wanted
|
|
this call to be perfect. "Hello?" she answered. IT WAS HER! My voice was
|
|
suddenly hoarse and I could barely force the words out. I really didn't have
|
|
anything planned and said the first thing that came to mind.
|
|
|
|
"Uh... you don't know me but I was wondering if you'd like to go out with
|
|
me tomorrow?" My mind was reeling. I didn't realize how idiotic that must
|
|
have sounded on the other end. Only one thought kept repeating itself in my
|
|
mind: SAY YES, SAY YES, SAY YES. She said something about how she had to wash
|
|
her hair tomorrow night, and wasn't able to go out. My own inexperience must
|
|
account for the fact that I believed her. Rick told me that he saw her at the
|
|
dance the next night. I felt like a complete fool.
|
|
|
|
I knew another guy that did go out with her (Rodney). He was one of my
|
|
best friends that year. They went to the dance together, but she didn't dance
|
|
with him. Instead, she began hanging around with some tall guy from another
|
|
school, kissing up to him something fierce. My friend recognized him as a
|
|
major drug dealer he'd seen doing business here before. She left with him.
|
|
They fucked in a van right outside the school doors. My friend was
|
|
heartbroken, crying, contemplating suicide. He'd introduced her to his parents
|
|
and everything. It was his first attempt at dating. Now he was humiliated.
|
|
Not just in front of the school, but in front of his parents as well.
|
|
|
|
Taking Pictures
|
|
|
|
Now here she was, dressed like a slut and mired in her own filth. It was
|
|
a truly disgraceful sight and I didn't feel sorry for her. I turned on the
|
|
lights and got my camera, loading up another roll of film. I wasn't going to
|
|
use the pics to blackmail her. Instead, I was going to print them out,
|
|
photocopy them, and distribute them to any interested guy in the entire school.
|
|
Not just pictures of her with her clothes on either. These were going to
|
|
feature full frontal nudity; anything I could get away with.
|
|
|
|
I had to use my flash as the fluorescent lighting in the room was
|
|
insufficient and took a while hooking it onto my camera. I almost freaked out
|
|
when I discovered that I didn't have any batteries in the thing. The whole
|
|
situation had me tense enough as it was. Luckily, I managed to find some in a
|
|
shelf in another part of the room. I was testing the flash attachment when a
|
|
funny thing happened. I heard a soft groan from the corner. I watched in
|
|
horror as her body began to shake, almost as if she was being electrocuted. It
|
|
was violent and surprisingly regular. Her eyes rolled into her head as she
|
|
jerked slowly downward against the wall until she was sponging up the piss on
|
|
the floor. She lay there, eyelids fluttering, her back arching a number of
|
|
times before the strange vibrations subsided. With a start, I realized that
|
|
the whole thing could have been initiated by the flashes.
|
|
|
|
I decided to get this over with as soon as possible and took a few
|
|
preliminary pictures of her with her clothes on, adjusting the focus and angle.
|
|
She didn't move at all as I snapped away. I began removing her soiled clothes,
|
|
undressing her. I put her into various poses, took pictures, then undressed
|
|
her more. Soon she was completely naked and I had exhausted the whole roll. I
|
|
got another one from a drawer and filled it up as well. I began to relax and
|
|
took more time with the final pictures. The last roll had some of the best.
|
|
|
|
Towards the end, I began to get horny. "Why not?" I figured, rolling her
|
|
over onto her stomach and spreading her legs. I pulled down my pants and began
|
|
humping away at her inert form. It was hard at first, because she didn't
|
|
provide any lubrication but it got much better. I was impressed by how hot
|
|
she was. I never imagined a woman could generate such an intense heat. It was
|
|
like sticking my cock into an oven. I was so excited that I didn't notice her
|
|
piss soaking through my pants at the knees. I just pumped away, grunting like
|
|
a pig, my exhalation visible in the red light. I couldn't believe that
|
|
anything could feel this good. It felt so good that even after I climaxed, my
|
|
body kept pumping away on its own volition for several minutes, even though I
|
|
wanted it to stop.
|
|
|
|
Afterwards, I sat there panting and shivering in the cold red darkness. A
|
|
trillion thoughts passing through my mind as I lay there on my side. It was
|
|
like my whole world had been turned upside down. On the one hand, I actually
|
|
felt (believe it or not) that I loved her or something like that, but on the
|
|
other I just wanted to get the hell out of there, as far away from her as
|
|
possible. I stood up, noticing the piss on my knees and began picking up my
|
|
stuff, nervously shoving it into my bag. I turned on the regular light,
|
|
exposing most of my developing paper. I didn't care. I just wanted to be able
|
|
to see what I was doing. In a few minutes, I had cleared up most of my stuff
|
|
from the darkroom.
|
|
|
|
Cleaning Up
|
|
|
|
I put her clothes back on, paying attention to small details. I was
|
|
getting really worried because she seemed to be stirring, tossing and turning,
|
|
eyes squinting, coming back to life. After the last article of clothing was
|
|
tossed on her, I dragged her out of the room by her feet. I deposited her just
|
|
outside the door, probably right into the puddle of vomit although I was too
|
|
distracted to notice it then. I ducked back in and shut and locked the door
|
|
behind me. I also turned out the main classroom lights and shoved my jacket
|
|
under the door, as I didn't want her to see them if she woke up out there.
|
|
|
|
Working by the light coming out of the darkroom, I cleaned up the
|
|
chemicals and stuff from the bench. I also used paper towels to clean up all
|
|
the piss she had left around the place. I was very careful in erasing traces
|
|
of my presence from this room, even though I wasn't sure whether I intended to
|
|
say I came here tonight or not. Everything was still uncertain. I did this so
|
|
that all my options would be open when the moment of "truth" came.
|
|
|
|
About an hour later, I had all my stuff and was ready to go. I checked
|
|
the classroom and darkroom for about the hundredth time before walking out the
|
|
door. Lisa was gone.
|
|
|
|
Epilogue
|
|
|
|
Obviously, I didn't get much work done that night. I did develop the
|
|
negatives for my projects and it didn't take much longer to print them up, so
|
|
it was to some benefit. There was no ruckus about a rape the next day
|
|
(Monday). But then again, maybe the ruckus about the stabbing death outside
|
|
the dance overshadowed this "minor" incident. Lisa showed up to homeroom just
|
|
like she did any day, and didn't look funny at me or anything.
|
|
|
|
I developed the negatives at another after-school session and was
|
|
impressed by the results. I carefully cropped out any parts of the picture
|
|
that contained any suggestion of where they were taken; for example, the corner
|
|
of the darkroom cupboard that protruded into the upper left of most of the
|
|
views. I also had to do a bit of matting with a piece of cardboard to get rid
|
|
of the floor tile pattern that was characteristic of our school. I began
|
|
experimenting with composites. For example, cutting out a print of her and
|
|
placing it onto a picture of *my* bed. It was hilarious! The resulting
|
|
pictures were fantastic.
|
|
|
|
One morning, bright and early, I tacked them to bulletin boards around the
|
|
school, after having copied them on the school office photocopier. I also
|
|
shoved them under empty classroom doors, placed them in washroom stalls, you
|
|
name it. I was going to send some to her parents, but figured this would be
|
|
enough. I was right.
|
|
|
|
After about three weeks of continual harassment, she disappeared, storming
|
|
red-faced out of math class in a flurry of tears. We never saw her again.
|
|
Many of us were grateful.
|
|
_______ __________________________________________________________________
|
|
/ _ _ \|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.....806/794-1842|
|
|
((___)) |Cool Beans!..........510/THE-COOL|Polka AE {PW:KILL}..806/794-4362|
|
|
[ x x ] |Metalland Southwest..713/468-5802|Lunatic Labs........213/655-0691|
|
|
\ / |The Works............617/861-8976|Ripco ][............312/528-5020|
|
|
(' ') |ftp - zero.cypher.com in pub/cdc |ftp - ftp.eff.org in pub/cud/cdc|
|
|
(U) |==================================================================|
|
|
.ooM |1993 cDc communications by Mark Vaxlov 12/30/93-#242|
|
|
\_______/| Save yourself! Go outside! DO SOMETHING! |
|
|
|