215 lines
9.1 KiB
Plaintext
215 lines
9.1 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
_
|
|
| \
|
|
| \
|
|
| | \
|
|
__ | |\ \ __
|
|
_____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________
|
|
| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
|
|
| | _/_/_____ | | > > _/_/_____ | |
|
|
| | /________/ | | / / /________/ | |
|
|
| | | | / / | |
|
|
| | | |/ / | |
|
|
| | | | / | |
|
|
| | | / | |
|
|
| | |_/ | |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
|
|
| |________________________________________________________________| |
|
|
|____________________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
...presents... Tequila Willy's Position Paper
|
|
by Reid Fleming
|
|
and Omega
|
|
|
|
>>> a cDc publication.......1993 <<<
|
|
-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
|
|
____ _ ____ _ ____ _ ____ _ ____
|
|
|____digital_media____digital_culture____digital_media____digital_culture____|
|
|
|
|
RECENT YEARS HAVE SEEN A HISTORIC EXPLOSION in prodigious cDc output,
|
|
culminating in early 1993 with the release of dozens of new files (including
|
|
cDc's 200th issue), promulgating the Word of the Bovine like infectious kudzu
|
|
spores. Riding the incipient crest of cDc's new media publicity, T. Willy
|
|
timed his political campaign to coincide with the public opinion surge pushing
|
|
many swing voters toward the Cult and away from traditional secular candidates.
|
|
|
|
It was Willy's mix of strident campaign rhetoric and non-stop, in-person
|
|
pressing-of-the-flesh that kept him in the running down to the final days,
|
|
until misfortune struck down his second veep running mate (whose name our
|
|
meager disk space no longer records). Willy was a strong contender until those
|
|
final hours, because he never tired of meeting new people and demonstrating his
|
|
positions. In fact, if it weren't for a complete and utter lack of matching
|
|
funds from the government, he would probably still be on America's great
|
|
highways and by-ways campaigning for the Office of President. His
|
|
irrepressible charm persisted even with the grueling rigors of the campaign
|
|
trail. "It's gotten so even the Secret Service are like, close, close, close
|
|
friends," he mentioned at a San Francisco photo-op, convened at Good
|
|
Vibrations, nationally renowned erotica and gadget shop.
|
|
|
|
It was shortly after that press conference that Tequila's first running
|
|
mate, Admiral James Stockdale - TW's Machiavellian Idea Man - broke ranks and
|
|
convinced an otherwise unremarkable Texan into bankrolling a splinter campaign.
|
|
Let history record, through the testimony of the Cult's only surviving
|
|
political document, the genius of cDc's premier politician and man for all ages
|
|
of women.
|
|
-- Chronicled by Reid Fleming and Omega
|
|
______________________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
Tequila Willy's Position Paper
|
|
|
|
Candidate for
|
|
the Presidency of the United States
|
|
|
|
Constitution Hall, Philadelphia
|
|
July 4, 1992
|
|
|
|
Here are the specific philosophies underlying my policy statements. Our
|
|
nation faces great challenges in the coming decade and if we're going to solve
|
|
them, we're going to have to have the guts to wrap our lips around something
|
|
that might be a little salty.
|
|
|
|
The most important issues confronting our nation have historically been
|
|
these: The Women's Movement, Energy Policy, Foreign Policy, Global Environment,
|
|
Population Control, The War on Drugs, Physical Fitness and the United States'
|
|
Trade Deficit.
|
|
|
|
|
|
JAPANESE COMPETITIVENESS
|
|
|
|
Supported Front Position Entry
|
|
|
|
From captured Japanese prints, the finesse of the Orient is demonstrated
|
|
in this position where the woman's back and buttocks are supported, insuring
|
|
deepest penetration to prolong the pleasure.
|
|
|
|
|
|
ENERGY
|
|
|
|
Standing Cunnilingus
|
|
|
|
Arctic men instituted this diversion for a hot night in a cold climate.
|
|
This is the most intimate of kisses to arouse the female partner and generate
|
|
spontaneous heat for both.
|
|
|
|
|
|
GLOBAL ENVIRONMENT
|
|
|
|
Genital and Breast Fondling from the Rear
|
|
|
|
From hidden jungle temples in the Amazon, with an untold wealth of sexual
|
|
secrets, comes this principal method of female arousal, which is performed with
|
|
unusual effectiveness.
|
|
|
|
|
|
WAR ON DRUGS
|
|
|
|
Backward Jockey Position
|
|
|
|
The freewheeling Scandinavians, with their lust for sexual experi-
|
|
mentation, originated this turnaround sitting position. This is the ultimate
|
|
"turn on."
|
|
|
|
|
|
FOREIGN POLICY
|
|
|
|
EUROPEAN UNIFICATION
|
|
|
|
Open Mouth French Kissing
|
|
|
|
This import from romantic France is the most universally practiced
|
|
foreplay technique in the entire world.
|
|
|
|
Standing Front-To-Front
|
|
|
|
The lusty, loving Basque of Spain add the visual appeal of watching your
|
|
lover's face in the throws of orgasm.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Doggy Rear-Entry Position
|
|
|
|
Eighteenth century England with its famous courtesans and sexual antics,
|
|
is responsible for many of the more famous "fun positions" of which the "doggy"
|
|
is probably one of the best known.
|
|
|
|
Standing Rear Entry Position
|
|
|
|
Greece, the most advanced culture of the ancient world, is the originator
|
|
of this rear entry position. Facilitates movement and promotes added thrills.
|
|
|
|
"V" Fellatio
|
|
|
|
Roman women gave maximum thrills to their men with this unique position
|
|
that dates back to the times of the gladiators.
|
|
|
|
MIDDLE EAST
|
|
|
|
The Rocking Position
|
|
|
|
We have the Arabs and their "ships of the desert" to thank for this erotic
|
|
import. This position allows frontal caresses between the partners while they
|
|
gently rock to a prolonged orgasm aided by the swaying of the camels.
|
|
|
|
The Pyramid
|
|
|
|
From the ancient murals of the 38th Egyptian dynasty, this position was
|
|
revealed to the Western world. The woman straddles the delicately balanced man
|
|
from above and by flexing his knees, he penetrates her to the utmost depths.
|
|
|
|
THE NUCLEAR CLUB
|
|
|
|
Suspended in Bliss
|
|
|
|
The Chinese, with their love of precision and balance, are the originators
|
|
of this unique position where the partners mutually support each other while
|
|
scaling the heights of ecstasy.
|
|
|
|
The Standing Wraparound
|
|
|
|
This exciting position is highly recommended by the Kama Sutra (the mother
|
|
of erotica). It suggests a strong back and a willingness to experiment as a
|
|
prerequisite for this exotic approach.
|
|
|
|
|
|
WOMEN'S MOVEMENT
|
|
|
|
Missionary Position
|
|
|
|
Until recently, this has been the world's most popular position - with the
|
|
male in the dominant role. The advent of women's sexual liberation is
|
|
resulting in more equal and erotic positions gaining in popularity.
|
|
|
|
|
|
POPULATION CONTROL
|
|
|
|
Mutual Oral Sex "69"
|
|
|
|
The artistry of Casanova in the courts of France are demonstrated in this
|
|
well-known foreplay method. This is also a popular substitute for intercourse
|
|
in Latin countries.
|
|
|
|
|
|
PHYSICAL FITNESS
|
|
|
|
The Wheelbarrow
|
|
|
|
From the court of Catherine the Great of Russia, stamina and agility are
|
|
prerequisites for this position wherein the man walks the woman across the
|
|
floor on her hands.
|
|
|
|
|
|
TEQUILA WILLY, 1992
|
|
THE MAN WHO HAS THE JOB IN HAND
|
|
|
|
"She said she voted for me! And you know what THAT means...."
|
|
_______ __________________________________________________________________
|
|
/ _ _ \|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.....806/794-1842|
|
|
((___)) |Cool Beans!..........510/THE-COOL|Polka AE {PW:KILL}..806/794-4362|
|
|
[ x x ] |The Alcazar..........401/782-6721|Moody Loners w/Guns.415/221-8608|
|
|
\ / |The Works............617/861-8976|Finitopia...........916/673-8412|
|
|
(' ') |ftp - zero.cypher.com in pub/cdc |ftp - ftp.eff.org in pub/cud/cdc|
|
|
(U) |==================================================================|
|
|
.ooM |Copr. 1993 cDc communications by Reid Fleming, Omega 04/01/93-#225|
|
|
\_______/|All Rights Drooled Away. SIX GLORIOUS YEARS of cDc|
|
|
|