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22 KiB
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437 lines
22 KiB
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_____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________
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| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
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| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
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| |________________________________________________________________| |
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|____________________________________________________________________|
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...presents... The B!G Envelope Stuffing Scam
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by Hanover Fiste
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>>> a cDc publication.......1993 <<<
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-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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____ _ ____ _ ____ _ ____ _ ____
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|____digital_media____digital_culture____digital_media____digital_culture____|
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You wanna earn more money? Sure, we all do.
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If you read any of the tabloids, newspapers, or magazines you sometimes
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run across advertisements in the classifieds that look similar to this:
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"Earn up to $500 per week assembling products at home. No previous
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experience."
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Or this:
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"Earn $200 to $500 a week stuffing envelopes."
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Well they're SCAMS! Yeah, no shit. I'm going to explain how it works;
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and if you're willing to invest a good $40 you can get it going. This file
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outlines everything that you would get from responding to one of those
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advertisements and more!
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HOW THE WHOLE THING WORKS:
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You write the people a letter requesting information, or in some cases you
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call their answering machine. However you reach them, you will end up with be
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a brochure mailed to you. I've never called one of the numbers, but I assume
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it's the same scam.
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The brochure (see brochure below) basically says how much money you'll be
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earning without working hard. It may describe some kind of home mailers'
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program. It's a lot of bullshit that tells you mostly nothing.
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There is a coupon, saying you can buy the complete plan for a mere $20...
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chump change once you get the thing going. You can also include an extra $2.00
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for rush delivery, but that box being checked is surely to be ignored.
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Once you give them the $20, they mail you a couple pages of photocopied
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material. It outlines the plan, gives you advice, and addresses.
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The plan is to put an ad in an tabloid offering $500 weekly for stuffing
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envelopes. When people answer your ad, you send them a brochure. When they
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send you $20, you send them a copy of the plan.
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There is alternative way, in which the person buys five-hundred names from
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an address supplier and mails brochures to opportunity seekers from a mailing
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list.
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The best thing about the plan is that the majority of people who send $20
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for the booklet won't actually go out and do the business.
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If you decide to do this, you have some significant advantages over the
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chump whom paid for the scheme:
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1. You are not out $20 for the big plan.
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2. You own a computer:
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a. You can use your computer to print some fancy brochures that might
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just hook anyone.
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b. If you have a printer, you can print everything at home, thus saving
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you the time and money of going to a print shop.
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3. You have someone else's insight on the plan, as opposed to rough plans.
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IS IT ILLEGAL?
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No. It's not illegal like the pyramid scams where someone sends for a
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report from everyone on the list. It is not mail fraud, because you are
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actually selling a booklet.
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However, if you don't pay taxes on your earnings (BOX 2, 1040EZ), it might
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be considered tax evasion. Remember, the IRS took down Al Capone. Just keep a
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record of profit and loss.
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If you do this, you might want to actually set up a legitimate business.
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You'll be able to buy products wholesale without paying sales tax, and maybe
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eligible for Small Business Loans.
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Here's a sample brochure which you would mail someone who sends you a SASE
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in response to your ad:
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--*--
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_YOU_ _WILL_ _RECEIVE_ _$3.00_
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FOR EACH ENVELOPE YOU STUFF
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AND RETURN ACCORDING
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TO OUR INSTRUCTIONS
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Now! As an Independent Mailer YOU earn MONEY and RESPECT.
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SIMPLE-PLEASANT-PROFITABLE-STUFFING-MAILING ENVELOPES
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at home!
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HELP SOLVE YOUR MONEY PROBLEMS
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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You will RECEIVE $3.00 for each and every circular you stuff and
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return. NOT a commission based on whether or not you get orders,
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but simple $3.00 for every envelope you send per our instructions.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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=================================================
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=$500.00 to $1500.00 PART TIME WEEKLY AT HOME!!!=
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=================================================
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Send 25 - you will RECEIVE checks for $75.00. Send 150 - you will RECEIVE
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checks for $450.00. You will be reimbursed your cost of shipping envelopes!
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Never before anything quite like this!!
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TIME IS MONEY. YOU CAN BEGIN NOW BY PUTTING YOUR TIME TO THE BEST OF USE. THE
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NEXT FEW MINUTES CAN LITERALLY CHANGE YOUR LIFE. DON'T LET THIS EXTRAORDINARY
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OPPORTUNITY PASS.
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You need no special skills. We will teach you - in simple language - how you
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can start making money and continue day after day, week after week, year after
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year.
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***************************************************************
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* YOUR name never appears on any of the printed circulars. *
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* You will never mail anything objectionable or pornographic. *
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***************************************************************
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There are millions of people in the United States and Canada that we would
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like to send our offers to, but could never be expected to reach all of them,
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even if we worked round the clock. However, by you and many others helping
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from home, we are able to contact many thousands of potential customers in a
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shorter time.
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- NO EXPERIENCE OR SPECIAL SKILLS REQUIRED -
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OUR SYSTEM OF STUFFING ENVELOPES IS VERY EASY TO OPERATE.
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For as long as you wish to participate, by following our instructions you will
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receive pre-addressed envelopes with postage stamps already affixed. As you
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can see, the biggest part of your work will be securing envelopes, stuffing
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them with circulars and sending them back for payment. We want you to work.
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We also want you to remain active for many years in this terrific program.
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.---------------------------------------------------------------------------.
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| IN ORDER TO GET YOU STARTED IMMEDIATELY, we must require a one-time |
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| payment of only $20.00. This covers our expense in showing you what to |
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| do and you can work as long as you desire. There is nothing else to ever |
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| buy from us in order to get started and keep going for years. In as |
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| much as we would like to send you our program without the small charge |
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| of $20.00, we must protect ourselves from those few who are not serious |
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| and have no intention other than to satisfy their curiosity. Naturally, |
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| no business can afford to send out costly material to everyone who |
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| writes in asking for it. This small charge assures us that you are |
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| serious about wanting to earn money at home. |
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.---------------------------------------------------------------------------.
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Please do not ask we send you the program without the payment and later deduct
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it from your first check. We do not operate in such a manner because there are
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far too many people willing to pay in advance. Furthermore, it creates an
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unnecessary bookkeeping problem if we have to keep records to remind us to make
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such deductions.
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NOW IT'S ALL UP TO YOU!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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START NOW by mailing the following order blank IMMEDIATELY, and start taking
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those first important steps on the road to working from the comfort of your own
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home! Don't put off another minute. No further information can be given
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without an order for our program. All requests must include full payment.
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Don't Miss This Once In A Lifetime Opportunity! MAIL THIS BLANK TODAY!
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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| $ ENVELOPES FOR BIG MONEY $ |
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| DON'T DELAY-START IMMEDIATELY!!! |
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| YOU CAN BEGIN NOW |
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vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
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@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ MAKE ORDERS PAYABLE TO {insert name/address here}
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@@@ @@@ $20.00 enclosed. Register me in your programs as
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@ --COMPLETE-- @ described above. [] Cash [] Check [] Money Order
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@ -HOMEMAILER'S- @ [_] Extra $5.00 for Fast Priority Service
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@ ---PROGRAM!--- @ NAME/ADDRESS/CITY/STATE/ZIP__________________
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@@@ @@@ SIGNATURE_______________________
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@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I want to earn weekly [] $500 [] $1,000+
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--*--
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The above text was copied verbatim from an actual brochure. However, I
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did remove one paragraph because I felt it was misleading and could be
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considered false advertising. It said you'd get a $3.00 check per envelope,
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which is not true. I think the writer of this brochure should have said
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something to the effect that your earnings average out to $3 per envelope; for
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every seven people who send for the brochure, one person responds making
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approximately $2.86 per envelope. It is your best bet to redo the whole thing
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using some desk top publishing skills.
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The actual plan says people will be sending SASE's. However, you could
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charge them $1 or so for the brochure and still make them send a SASE.
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Including a charge like that will result in a smaller response, thus fewer
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people knowing exactly how much they could be earning at home.
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Can you see how people would realize that twenty dollars is nothing
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compared to the money they could be earning? Doing without Ron Popeil's latest
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food dehydrater is worth earning the money that Sally Struthers spoke about
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without setting foot in a school.
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Here's the actual program which is mailed out once you've received the
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$20:
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--*--
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{PAGE ONE}
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[ COMPLETE HOMEMAILER'S PROGRAM ]
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{PAGE TWO}
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INTRODUCTION:
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WE WELCOME YOU TO OUR COMPLETE HOMEMAILER'S PROGRAM. THIS PROGRAM WILL SHOW
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YOU HOW TO MAKE SUMS OF MONEY YOU NEVER BEFORE DREAMED POSSIBLE.
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CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU HAVE NOW TAKEN THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS FINANCIAL FREEDOM.
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NOW, YOUR SUCCESS ENTIRELY DEPENDS UPON YOUR EFFORTS.
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THERE ARE MANY MAIL-ORDER COMPANIES, LOOKING FOR HELP FROM HOMEMAILERS. WE ARE
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ONE OF THOSE COMPANIES. IT IS MORE PROFITABLE FOR US TO USE YOUR HELP TO REACH
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THOUSANDS OF PROSPECTIVE CUSTOMERS THAN TO HIRE A LARGE STAFF AND TRY TO REACH
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THEM BY OURSELVES. WE WANT YOU TO SUCCEED BECAUSE YOUR SUCCESS IS OUR SUCCESS.
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HOW TO START:
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FIRST STEP: CHOOSE THE NAME FOR YOUR OWN BUSINESS. THIS NAME IS UP TO YOU.
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SO BE CREATIVE AND TRY TO FIND AN ATTRACTIVE ONE. YOU ALSO CAN
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USE YOUR OWN NAME FOLLOWED BY "COMPANY" OR "ASSOC." MANY EXAMPLES
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CAN BE FOUND IN THE CLASSIFIED ADS OF SUCH MAGAZINES AS THE
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_NATIONAL ENQUIRER_ AND _GLOBE_.
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SECOND STEP: YOU HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT TO USE FOR YOUR BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE:
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YOUR PERSONAL ADDRESS OR A POST OFFICE BOX. TO RENT A POST OFFICE
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BOX IS CONVENIENT AND INEXPENSIVE.
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THIRD STEP: YOU HAVE TO ORDER RUBBER STAMPS WITH THE NAME AND ADDRESS OF YOUR
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LOCAL BUSINESS IN A LOCAL PRINT SHOP.
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{PAGE THREE}
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INQUIRES:
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PLACE AN AD SIMILAR TO THE ONE TO WHICH YOU RESPONDED IN THE CLASSIFIED ADS
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SECTIONS OF MAGAZINES. MAGAZINES WILL CHARGE FROM $1.50 TO $9.50 PER WORD.
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THE MORE CIRCULATION THE MAGAZINE HAS, THE MORE EXPENSIVE THE AD WILL BE.
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WRITE TO MAGAZINES AND REQUEST INFORMATION ABOUT ADVERTISING. RUN YOUR AD
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UNDER "BUSINESS" AND "MONEY-MAKING OPPORTUNITY" SECTIONS. WE DO NOT SUGGEST
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DAILY PAPERS AND RECOMMEND ADVERTISING IN _THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER_ OR _GLOBE_.
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IF THEY ARE TOO EXPENSIVE, USE PAPERS WITH CIRCULATIONS OF 10,000 OR MORE. IF
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YOUR AD DOES NOT PULL INQUIRIES ENOUGH TO MAKE A PROFIT, CHANGE MAGAZINES AND
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TRY AGAIN.
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IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU KEY YOUR ADS TO KEEP TRACK OF HOW EACH MAGAZINE
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PULLS. "KEYING ADS" SIMPLY MEANS THAT YOU FOLLOW THE PROGRESS OF ADS AND KEEP
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THE ADS THAT MAKE A PROFIT AND DROP THE ONES THAT DON'T. ALL NEWSPAPERS IN THE
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UNITED STATES ARE LISTED IN AYER'S DIRECTORY; AVAILABLE IN PUBLIC LIBRARIES.
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YOU CAN GET A FREE USEFUL ADVERTISER'S GUIDEBOOK FROM MORLOCK ADVERTISING
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AGENCY, 188 W. RANDOLPHS STREET, CHICAGO, IL 60601.
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HOW TO WRITE ADS THAT PULL:
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IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT THAT YOU USE KEY WORDS IN YOUR ADS TO ATTRACT THE
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INTEREST OF YOUR READERS. TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WRITING CLASSIFIEDS, YOU MAY
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OBTAIN A COPY OF "PROFIT FROM CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING" (COST $1) AVAILABLE
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THROUGH: POPULAR MECHANIC, ATTN: CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING MANAGER, 224 W. 57TH
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ST., NY, NY.
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WORDS LIKE "AMAZING," "INSTANT PROFIT," "GET RICH," ETC. MAY BE HELPFUL.
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SOMETIMES THE AD CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE AS TO WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL.
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{PAGE FOUR}
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MAILING LISTS:
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INSTEAD OF RECEIVING INQUIRES THROUGH CLASSIFIED ADS, YOU CAN USE MAILING LISTS
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TO REACH A POTENTIAL CUSTOMER. YOU CAN OBTAIN THESE LISTS FROM A MAIL LISTS
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BROKER, WHICH YOU WILL FIND IN A LOCAL YELLOW PAGES. WRITE TO THESE BROKERS
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THAT YOU ARE INTERESTED IN FOR LISTS OF OPPORTUNITY SEEKERS. BROKERS CHARGE
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YOU $15 TO $20 PER THOUSAND NAMES. GOOD MAILING LISTS ARE AVAILABLE FROM THE
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COMPANIES BELOW. SEND AN INQUIRY ASKING FOR INFORMATION AND ENCLOSE A SASE.
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ADDRESSES UNLIMITED ACCREDITED MAILING LISTS, INC
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14621 TITUS ST. 5272 RIVER RD.
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VAN NUYS, CA 91402 WASHINGTON, DC 20016
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(818) 873-4114
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BELTH ASSOC., INC. BENWAY MARKETING, INC.
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971 RICHMOND AVE. 474 2ND ST.
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EAST MEADOW, NY EXCELSIOR, MN 55331
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(516) 483-3030 (612) 474-1138
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METROMAIL CORP. BUSINESS MAILERS, INC.
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901 W. BOND ST. 640 LASALLE ST.
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LINCOLN, NE 68521 CHICAGO, IL 60610
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(312) 943-6666
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CREATIVE MAILING LISTS DIRECT RESPONSE PRODUCTS, INC.
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1100 STEWART AVE 3300 N. E. EXPRESSWAY
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GARDEN CITY, NY 11530 ATLANTA, GA 30309
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(516) 832-2510
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MARKET DEVELOPMENT CORP.
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41 KILMER DR.
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HAZELWOOD, MO 63043
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(314) 878-4212
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{PAGE 5}
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THE PROGRAM:
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YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO RESELL THE PROGRAM TO OTHERS. YOU HAVE PAID $20.00 AND
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NOW YOU CAN REPRODUCE ALL MATERIALS WHICH YOU RECEIVE FROM US. YOU HAVE
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CIRCULARS PRINTED WITH YOUR BUSINESS NAME AND ADDRESS IN THE SPACE PROVIDED ON
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THE APPLICATION FORM, WHICH ARE THE SAME AS THE ONE ENCLOSED. YOU HAVE A
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THOUSAND PRINTED UP AT YOUR LOCAL PRINT SHOP. WHEN YOU RECEIVE SELF ADDRESSED
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STAMPED ENVELOPES YOU STUFF THEM WITH CIRCULARS AND SEND THEM THE SAME DAY YOU
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RECEIVE INQUIRES. OR, YOU MAIL CIRCULARS DIRECTLY TO POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS FROM
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MAILING LISTS YOU BOUGHT FROM MAIL LISTS BROKERS.
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RECORD KEEPING:
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RECORD KEEPING PLAYS THE MOST IMPORTANT ROLE, BECAUSE IT SHOWS YOUR PROGRESS;
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IT INDICATES NECESSARY CHANGES. IT ENABLES YOU TO PREDICT YOUR FUTURE. EACH
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NAME MUST BE RECORDED IN YOUR LOG-BOOK BECAUSE YOU WILL BUILD YOUR OWN MAILING
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LISTS WHICH CAN BE SOLD OR RENTED.
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PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR A REFUND IF YOU DO NOT USE THIS PROGRAM AS STATED.
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FAILURE TO FOLLOW THIS INSTRUCTION WILL NULLIFY THE AGREEMENT. THIS PROGRAM IS
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ABSOLUTELY LEGAL. A LEGITIMATE MAILING PROGRAM REQUIRES SOMETHING TO BE SOLD
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WHICH THE BUYER CAN USE AND RESALE TO A USER. ALL INFORMATION AND FACTS IN
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THIS PROGRAM CAN BE USED BY ANYONE TO START A LEGITIMATE MAIL ORDER BUSINESS IN
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THE HOME.
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--*--
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HANOVER FISTE'S METHODS OF MAKING THIS WORK:
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If you seriously want to do the above plan, don't follow the exact
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program, since it's obviously designed for idiots. Why else would the copy I
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got be typed in all caps?
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1. Rent a PO Box, if you don't already have one. Even if you don't plan
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to do the scheme, it's a good idea to have one. You can have shit sent
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to you without people having your real address.
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2. Get your computer running. Make some fancy kick-ass brochure. Also
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make a really sucky one that doesn't have an address. This lame one
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will be the one you send with the instructions. Print them out. Have
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at least fifty copies of them ready. Hint: Make your brochure's coupon
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so that the person's address can be placed into a window envelope, thus
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saving you the trouble of having to re-write it.
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3. Get your editor running and make twenty copies of the homemailer's
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plan, along with the lame brochure.
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4. Put an ad in a magazine. This will be your only true expense. Be sure
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it will pull in suckers. When the responses come, shove the good
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brochures in them. If you want, you could get the rubber stamp and put
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return addresses on 'em. Or, you could use your printer and some
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labels. Since it's their stamp, you might just say, "fuck it" and
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don't put a return address on it.
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5. When checks come for $20, wait for them to clear before you send
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anything. After all, if someone is desperate enough to believe they
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could make incredulous amounts of cash, they might forget their bank
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balance. Depending on what percent they charge, you might go to a
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"checks cashed" place.
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6. Send the cheese brain, er Prospective Entrepreneur, the plan.
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OTHER OPTIONS:
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When the big bucks start pouring in, consider an investment in a mailing
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list from one of the companies in the plan. You then send copies of the
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brochures to people on the mailing list. Here's a formula to estimate the
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cost:
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Printing 500 brochures + ordering 500 names from an address broker + 500
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stamps would cost somewhere between 200-300 dollars, but think of this: if one
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out of seven people respond it would be approximately seventy-two people.
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72 x $20 = $1440 - $300 (your cost) = $1140 profit.
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You might also be able to trade address lists you've collected from people
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who've ordered from you. You might not get much for them, but it is a discount
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compared to buying a mailing list straight out.
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You can also use those addresses for some twisted, ILLEGAL pyramid plan;
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the decision is up to you. The person gave you their address and the worst
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they can do is request it be removed from the list.
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HOW TO SPEND YOUR NEW INCOME:
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Not that it's my business, but here are some suggestions:
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* Donate it to cDc! Why not, we provided you the how-to of it. Five
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bucks feeds S. Ratte' for a day! Yeah, feed the children. Cash only!
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Send to: cDc communications, P.O. Box 53011, Lubbock, TX 79453.
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* Subscribe to Money or Inc. magazines and find out where the real action
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is.
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CONCLUSION:
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Good luck and have fun. This plan is almost too good to give away for
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free, but I'm big-hearted and that's the way cDc is. Yeah. E-mail me about
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your progress and come up with your own scams.
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_______ __________________________________________________________________
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/ _ _ \|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.....806/794-1842|
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((___)) |Cool Beans!..........510/THE-COOL|Polka AE {PW:KILL}..806/794-4362|
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[ x x ] |The Alcazar..........401/782-6721|Moody Loners w/Guns.415/221-8608|
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\ / |The Works............617/861-8976|Finitopia...........916/673-8412|
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(' ') |ftp - zero.cypher.com in pub/cdc |ftp - ftp.eff.org in pub/cud/cdc|
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(U) |==================================================================|
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.ooM |1993 cDc communications by Hanover Fiste 04/01/93-#223|
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\_______/|All Rights Drooled Away. SIX GLORIOUS YEARS of cDc|
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