143 lines
6.5 KiB
Plaintext
143 lines
6.5 KiB
Plaintext
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__ ___ __ __ ___ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
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|__ |__||__ | |__|| | | ||__ |__/|__ | ||__/ |__ |__| \/\/
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...presents... My Shit, and How to Strangle It
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by Tequila Willy
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>>> a cDc publication.......1993 <<<
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-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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_ _
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((___))
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____________[ x x ] (:)
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/ \ / | (:)
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__/ | (' ') | |
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/| | | _____| |_(U)|______\|/\|/____________________________________________
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/...\..\ /...\ /..\
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ooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMoo
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I stood up and looked down.
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I could smell this one.
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It was full of light brown nuts - but I don't remember eating any corn.
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It was mostly a dark molasses color. Mostly. It had a yellow tip and there
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were green streaks along the sides.
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That was the part that was floating. It had broken in half and the sunken
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end wasn't oblong at all. The sunken end was more like a lumpy muddy ping pong
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ball.
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I wiped my ass and there was blood.
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My asshole tingled as I noticed the larva wiggling in the stool. Their
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wiggling sent the chunk of defecation on a slight counterclockwise spin.
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I wiped my ass again and there was less blood.
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I pressed the lever and watched my prize go spinning away until it finally
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vanished in the sinking whirlpool.
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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And now for a FRIENDLY message from Tequila Willy...
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(:) (:) Flowers to brighten your day.
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\|/ \|/ Grass to brighten a cow's day.
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When did you first realize you were made from a controlled substance?
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It was three o'clock.
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Are you sure? (Am I sure?)
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Do alligators alligate?
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Do crocodiles crocolate? _ _
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Does chicken taste better with Shake-N-Bake(tm)? ((___))
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Do Madonna's hips gyrate? [ x x ]
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Does Phil Donahue masturbate? \ / .ooM
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When you die, do you lose weight? (' ')
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Will one more screw make you late? (U)
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Will LaToya Jackson refuse my date?
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When you need it now, can you wait?
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Does the Grim Reaper hold your fate?
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Do the Crypts and Bloods foster a hate?
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When I shoot my gun, will the bullet go straight?
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If I make up a word, could it be zoomdooboomdoowoomdoorate?
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How many enemas would an enemy enema administrator administrate to enemy
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sea anemones if an enemy enema administrator could administrate enemas to enemy
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sea anemones? [SEE FOOTNOTE No. 1]
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And I lie here; hungry, awake, and thinking.
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Even more drastically, perhaps what I see as terrible monsters with
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bleeding hairy warts, long claws & fangs trailing saliva and snot, and oozing
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and splattering big piles of putrid stool from overly large orifices, I call
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"people", and you see them as soft oozing squid-like amoeba leaving trails of
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green sticky putrid slime, yet because of the way we each learned language,
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whenever I saw these bleeding hairy warted creatures I was told they were
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humans and you likewise, then we are having dramatically different private
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sensations yet we are still communicating efficiently because we both call each
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"human". So it doesn't really matter if what I see is what you see because we
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both have a personal concept of what it is to be human.
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Like, moo, baby, moo. OOOoooooh... yeaaaah.... Me wann'em woman.
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FOOTNOTE No. 1:
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Yo, baby - you know who you are - jingle 'em for me! __ __
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| \/\/ |
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.---------| |oo| | I
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/ \__||__/ SMELL
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__/ | || | A
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| | | _____| | || | WUMPUS.
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| | | | | ~~ |
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Bushy Bushy Lives. /...\..\ /...\/...\
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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In what manner or way consisting of or amounting to a large but indefinite
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number the injection of liquid into the intestine by way of the anus wished,
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desired one that is of or relating to one that is antagonistic to another the
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injection of liquid into the intestine by way of the anus one that administers
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esp. b cDc _ _ to manage or supervise the
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execut Roses are red, xXx ((___)) antagonistic to another any of
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numero Violets are blue, cDc [ x x ] ght and varied colors, and cluster
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of ten Most poems rhyme, xXx \ / to one that is antagonistic to
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anothe But this one sucks. cDc (' ') whose form, bright and varied
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colors xXx (U) y resemble a flower if one that is
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of or relating to one that is antagonistic to another the injection of liquid
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into the intestine by way of the anus one that administers esp. business,
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school, or government affairs could to manage or supervise the execution, use,
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or conduct of the injection of liquid into the intestine by way of the anus
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to one that is antagonistic to another any of numerous usu. solitary polyps
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whose form, bright and varied colors, and cluster of tentacles superficially
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resemble a flower?
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ooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMooooMMoo
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1. Place your thumb and forefinger of both hands around the intended
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victim's throat.
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2. SQUEEZE thumbs towards forefingers.
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3. HOLD until DEAD.
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4. Let go.
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5. Wash hands*.
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* For sanitary reasons.
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_______ __________________________________________________________________
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/ _ _ \|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.....806/794-1842|
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((___)) |Cool Beans!..........510/THE-COOL|Polka AE {PW:KILL}..806/794-4362|
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[ x x ] |Ripco................312/528-5020|Moody Loners w/Guns.415/221-8608|
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\ / |The Works............617/861-8976|Finitopia...........916/673-8412|
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(' ') |Lunatic Labs.........213/655-0691|ftp - ftp.eff.org in pub/cud/cdc|
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(U) |==================================================================|
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.ooM |Copr. 1993 cDc communications by Tequila Willy 01/01/93-#210|
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\_______/|All Rights Drooled Away. SIX GLORIOUS YEARS of cDc|
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