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224 lines
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::####::::::####::########::########:::::::::::::::::::::WRITTEN:BY::::::::::::
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::#### :::::#### :######## :######## :::::::::::::::::::::.......:..:::::::::::
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::#### :::::#### :#### :#### :::|~~~|:|~\:|~|::::::::VIDEO:VINDICATOR::
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::#### :::::#### :######::::######:::::::| | .| \| | ::::::::.....:..........:
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::#### :::::#### :###### :::###### ::::::| | :| |\ | :::EXCLUSIVELY:FOR:::::::
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::#### :::::#### :#### :::#### :::::|___| |_| \_| ::::...........:...::::::
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::########::#### :#### :::::########:::::.....:.......:::::::CULT:OF:THE:DEAD::
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::######## :#### :#### :::::######## :::::::::::::::::::::::::...COW.(cDc)....:
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::: :: :: :::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::...:.....::::
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===============================================================================
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INTRODUCTION
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Well, I felt this file was worthy only of release by the All Mighty Cult
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of the Dead Cow. I hope to discuss and point out some of the many wonderful
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and quite different aspects of the human equation. Among other things I will
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talk about females, and the passenger seat of the car... and anything else
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which has always interested me. If you feel that any of my views on these
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subjects are wrong, well then tough luck, I really don't give a shit what you
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think! Haha. As for a disclaimer, I really don't think it would be appro-
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priate on this file since for once in my life I'm not really discussing
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anything illegal (wow, what a change of pace... next thing you know, I'll be
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attending church!). I hope you like the file, I really got a kick out of
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writing it. Enjoy.
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CARS IN GENERAL
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Ok, lets talk about some of those unsolved mysteries that exist in and
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around cars. First off, have you ever thought about the massive power that
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rests in the passenger seat of a car? People will literally fight for this
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coveted seat of honor in the car, lovingly referred to as "shotgun." The
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fruits of such a victory are immense... why, you have full control over the
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radio! Or any other environmental controls up there... What POWER.
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Next, how about the never-ending list of people who have shitty cars and
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think they are awesome. Is there some sort of intoxicating factor contained in
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Pintos and other classic shit cars? Why, I can even remember a Pinto
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stationwagn, and you'll need to close your eyes and try hard to imagine this,
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white paint job with pink detailing (gag!), Momo rims, and like a shitty MTX
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system in it. Lame cars attract lame stereo equipment, and lame paint jobs. I
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can't explain why, but for some reason they just seem to.
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LOSERS IN GENERAL
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Hell, I always have gotten a kick out of losers. No one can possibly act
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so stupid and think they're sooo cool as a loser. It's always fun to listen to
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these people make plans, and then never follow through, or if they do they fail
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miserably and it's always funny to find out how.
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I always try to keep a couple losers around to make all those rainy days
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more interesting, by making them slave labor to my every whim. Loser is as
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loser does, they worship you like the god you are. Hehe... they also tend to
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try to pattern themselves after you as much as possible, and if you're like
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cleaning your house out, they will come and take everything you throw out, as
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if it will help to raise them to your level. Now don't get me wrong, there are
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some cool losers, but for the most part the above is the case in dealing with
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them.
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MUSIC OVERVIEW
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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I must point out what type of music I listen to, since there seems to be
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some sort of massive misunderstanding about this awesome form of music. It's
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called Industrial and is comprised of real hard-edge sounds and hardcore
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analogs, with heavily distorted vocals (for the most part). Bands like Front
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242, Frontline Assembly, Skinny Puppy, and Nine Inch Nails are just a few that
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are in this class of music. Next time you're in a music store, do yourself a
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favor and rip off a CD or two, or better yet, card 'em... There ARE mailorder
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CD companies! I myself hate metal and rock, as well as country (who doesn't).
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But I must admit that I can name a couple of Pop songs that I enjoy. I do
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enjoy Modern, House, Acid House, and some of the more dancey styles, although I
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hate Rap, it just doesn't do anything for me. Anyways, enough of this, on with
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the point.
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My point is the fact that many metal heads don't like groups like Nine
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Inch Nails, which are a lot harder then most of the metal bands, and why is
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this? Well because it's "Industrial," and they don't like that. Well, that's
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sort of bullshit, although I sometimes find myself falling into this myself
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(just the other day I told someone that I like everything except anything with
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acoustic instruments in it. Although this is true for the most part, it's a
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pretty bad exaggeration). I also get a kick out of when someone who likes a
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group like Front 242 or Nine Inch Nails says they don't like dance music, since
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both of these groups (like most) have put out dance tracks (Headhunter, Down in
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It, etc...). If you can find any Acid House, that is usually VERY hardcore
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Analog sounding, and very dancey, which is cool as far as I'm concerned (groups
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like Lords of Acid and Erotic Dissidents). And as far as most music, there are
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a lot of cross-over styles, like 2-Live Crew's 'Fuck Shop' uses the guitar from
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Bon Jovi (and I think the song sounds a HELL of a lot better than the Bon Jovi
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version), or Marky-Mark and the Funky Bunch's MTV hell-tune has a real housey
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sound to it although it's mainly rap. All my point being is that we shouldn't
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break ourselves into classifications in music, since it's sooo damn broad and
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overlapping.
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GIRLS IN GENERAL
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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I was watching some comedian, and he described a guy's real position in a
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girl's mind perfectly:
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BOYFRIEND - CREDIT CARD HOLDER
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FIANCE' - GOLD CARD HOLDER
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HUSBAND - CHAPTER 11
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Hahaha, I got a kick out of that, since it's sooo damn true. Which brings
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us to the first level of girls and the bullshit surrounding them, namely greed.
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If you find a girl that is not driven by greed, fuck her and keep her
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forever, but if you are like most of us and get girls that are greedy
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pieces-of-shit that leech off you worse than the best loser then you have to
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watch out. They all act the same, by saying shit like, "I don't care if we
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don't do anything, as long as we're together." Of course, her definition of
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"together" isn't what I would like to think, unless you wine and dine the
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bitch. If you spend a small fortune on her she'll suck and fuck you as much as
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you want, and then it's over, she thinks since you dipped the wick that you owe
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her something. Well, lemme tell you, you don't owe her shit.
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Another thing to NEVER do is trust a girl. They are almost always the
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most deceitful pieces-of-shit around. If they weren't good for fucking I'd
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kill all of the damn bitches. I made the mistake once of trusting a girl in a
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scam, and I just barely got my ass out of getting busted. Here's how vengeful
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a bitch can be. She turned herself in just to try and bust me... Although,
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since men are and will always be smarter than most girls, I fucking tricked her
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sorry ass and she went to jail, not me. Hahaha dumb bitch.
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GIRLS AND MUSIC
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Ahh, no human in the world will be more evasive then a girl on the subject
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of music. If she likes you, and you just met her you will NEVER get a straight
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answer out of her on this subject. Here is the typical conversation:
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BOY : "So tell me Girl, what kind of music are you into?"
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GIRL: "Oh, I don't know, all kinds..."
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BOY : "Well, you mean you don't have a favorite type?"
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GIRL: "Oh, I don't like country music, but other than that I like everything
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else."
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BOY : [mutters 'ya, right'] "Well, what are some of your favorite bands then?"
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GIRL: "I don't really have any, I just listen to whatever is on the radio."
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BOY : [last ditch attempt.] "What radio station do you listen to?"
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GIRL: "Oh, I don't know, I just sorta scan around."
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Oh fuck, what a worthless conversation. If you go to the chick's house it
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turns out she only like George Michael and MC Hammer or some shit like that,
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but of course she doesn't tell you this.
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The real clincher here is the fact that if you ever get into a fight,
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she'll pull this shit in, by saying something like, "Well, you never liked the
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same music as me!"
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Just finish the bitch and say "Well, you fucking said you liked everything
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except country, and let me tell you something bitch, that wasn't country!".
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Something to note: unless she actually does have some personality and does
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answer truthfully, or she doesn't like you, she will answer almost verbatim
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like above.
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Another good worthless thing to do to test a bitch for uselessness is to
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make up a band and tell her you're in it. Ten to one she'll say something
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totally stupid like "Oh, I think I've heard some of your stuff and really liked
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it!" Ya, right. You can call yourself something completely off the wall and
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she'll think she's heard of you... like Cult of the Dead Cow... ha.
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ARCHITECTURE
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Here's just a quick note on one of the strangest phenomena's in the world
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as we know it today. One of the oldest and most rigid organizations ALWAYS
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have the weirdest looking buildings... Churches. Have you ever noticed, if the
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building is really weird in design, it's almost always either a sculpture, a
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church or some church-oriented group. God only knows (no pun intended) why
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this is the case, nor do I think anyone ever truly will.
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QSD AND LOSERS
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Holy shit, this place is lame. If you don't know what I'm talking about
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just skip this and count yourself lucky! This is user-hell, loser-heaven. You
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call up this once-descent chat system, which is now infected with K-Rad Elite
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Wares dudes and 2-bit hack/phreak "gods"... I regret the day I first called
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this place! The people on here are the scum of the modem world, what you were
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when you first bought you computer (Obviously you improved, or you wouldn't be
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reading my file (because chances are you couldn't read worth shit)). I don't
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want to spend any more time on them, they are lame and take my advice and NEVER
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CALL.
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CONCLUSION
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~~~~~~~~~~
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Well, that about wraps it up... I hope it has helped you gain more insight
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into yourself and others, and maybe realize that the world is really a fucked
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up place and that there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. Then again,
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was there ever anything you could, or any indication that it change on its own?
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Ah, but life is still wonderful, right? Anyways, I really don't need to greet
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anyone in this file, since how the hell could they help anyways, so forget it.
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If you have any awesome comments concerning this work of art, then please leave
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them to me wherever, or maybe if you know some strange occurrences as well,
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then tell me so I can enlighten the world into the unknown. Until next we
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meet...
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Who really gives a shit anyways?
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_______ __________________________________________________________________
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/ _ _ \|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.....806/794-1842|
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((___)) |Cool Beans!..........510/THE-COOL|Polka AE {PW:KILL}..806/794-4362|
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[ x x ] |Ripco................312/528-5020|Moody Loners w/Guns.415/221-8608|
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\ / |The Works............617/861-8976|Finitopia...........916/673-8412|
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(' ') |Lunatic Labs.........213/655-0691|ftp - ftp.eff.org in pub/cud/cdc|
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(U) |==================================================================|
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.ooM |1993 cDc communications by Video Vindicator 01/01/93-#204|
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\_______/|All Rights Drooled Away. SIX GLORIOUS YEARS of cDc|
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