84 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
84 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
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_____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________
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| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
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| | _/_/_____ | | > > _/_/_____ | |
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| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
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| |________________________________________________________________| |
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|____________________________________________________________________|
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...presents... Compact Disc Scam
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by Tequila Willy
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>>> a cDc publication.......1991 <<<
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-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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______________________________________________________________________________
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With a wonderful title like that, how can I go wrong?
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This little scam will not reap heaps of completely free CDs, but it will
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allow you to increase your CD collection substantially.
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Currently there are a couple (maybe even a few) large Compact Disc clubs
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that specialize in mail order. These clubs advertise in many magazines and
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often boast things like, "DISCS, DISCS, DISCS, DISCS! PICK ANY 8 CDs FOR A
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PENNY Plus a chance to get one more CD-Free! ANY 8 CDs FOR ONE CENT OR TAKE
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ANY 4 CDs FOR ONE CENT!" (Columbia House, 1400 N. Fruitridge Ave., P.O. Box
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1129, Terre Haute, IN 47811-1129)
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The fine print informs you in a FRIENDLY manner that you must buy six more
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selections at regular prices in the coming THREE YEARS. After you do that, you
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can CANCEL ANY TIME without any further OBLIGATION.
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So, here's what you do.
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Pick out your 8 CDs (for JUST ONE CENT!) and wait. Then when you get your
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little catalog immediately buy your six CDs and fulfill your obligation (this
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way they get used to your BIG ORDERS.) After they arrive, order 6 more CDs
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(oh, what the hell, make it 8 more.) After they arrive wait a few days and
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contact them complaining that you still haven't received your selections. They
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then proceed to send you the same ones again. You now have two sets of the
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same CDs, send one of the sets back and say you "CHANGED YOUR MIND" (this is
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America, you can do that.) Since you don't pay for anything until you receive
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it, you pay NOTHING (except for those six that you PROMISED to BUY).
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You now have (COUNT 'EM) 8 + 6 + 8 = 22 CDs for the price of SIX (plus ONE
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CENT).
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Well, it's nothing to spit at.
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What you do from here is up to you (like it always was-HEY, I DON'T
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PRETEND TO RUN YOUR LIFE!) But, in case you aren't too bright (but that's not
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likely) I'd like to share a little tip with you. They MIGHT CATCH ON if
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everything they send you keeps "GETTING LOST" and you keep "CHANGING YOUR
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MIND", so take it EASY and we can ALL ENJOY this little bit of FUN.
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What do those things cost to make? A DIME? That MUCH? Well, if I saw
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your mug, I'd charge you FIFTEEN BUCKS too. This is America, we can charge
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each other whatever we damn well please.
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I'm proud to be a capitalist (but that's another t-file).
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_ _ ____________________________________________________________________
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/((___))\|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.......806/794-1842|
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[ x x ] |NIHILISM.............517/546-0585|Paisley Pasture.......916/673-8412|
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\ / |Polka AE {PW:KILL}...806/794-4362|Ripco.................312/528-5020|
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(' ') |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194|The Works.............617/861-8976|
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(U) |====================================================================|
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.ooM |Copr. 1991 cDc communications by Tequila Willy 08/31/91-#192|
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\_______/|All Rights Pissed Away. FIVE YEARS of cDc|
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