64 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
64 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
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_____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________
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| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
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| | _/_/_____ | | > > _/_/_____ | |
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| | /________/ | | / / /________/ | |
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| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
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| |________________________________________________________________| |
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|____________________________________________________________________|
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...presents... My Circumcision
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by Franken Gibe
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>>> a cDc publication.......1991 <<<
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-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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______________________________________________________________________________
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I had foreskin. About three yards of the stuff. It used to hang outta
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the bottom of my pants leg. Sometimes I'd use it to tie my sneaker when the
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laces broke. You know I did this. It was publicized in several important
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periodicals under the heading of "Farm Machinery Innovations."
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I knew the foreskin wasn't mine. I saw pictures of myself as a child
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without six feet of flabby flesh shoved in my right front pocket. My parents
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were in on my subsequent acquisition of foreskin. It was rubbery, not like
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skin. More like a petroleum product. I now know it was an experiment
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initiated by extraterrestrial genital engineers. I now know they hoped to
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establish a race of Exaggerated Foreskin Creatures... EFC's. I now know that
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they hope the EFC's would form a pool of slave labor. Later, the foreskins
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would be removed and used by several collaborating automotive conglomerates in
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Japan as a Wonder Material for auto upholstery.
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When I enlisted the services of a Renegade gynecologist to remove the
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foreskin, I noticed that Dan Rather and Peter Jennings BOTH evidenced signs of
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nervousness in their nightly broadcasts. Dan stumbled over the word "fuselage"
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twice, and Peter picked at a scab on his lower calf. The latter was revealed
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to me in a letter sent by A Friend.
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The doctor used laser technology (acquired from a crashed ET space
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vehicle) to cut off the foreskin. It measured 9ft, 4in. when stretched. I had
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the foreskin tanned and stuffed, and now use it in food processing.
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_ _ ____________________________________________________________________
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/((___))\|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.......806/794-1842|
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[ x x ] |NIHILISM.............517/546-0585|Paisley Pasture.......916/673-8412|
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\ / |Polka AE {PW:KILL}...806/794-4362|Ripco.................312/528-5020|
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(' ') |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194|The Works.............617/861-8976|
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(U) |====================================================================|
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.ooM |Copr. 1991 cDc communications by Franken Gibe 08/31/91-#189|
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\_______/|All Rights Pissed Away. FIVE YEARS of cDc|
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