314 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
314 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
_
|
|
| \
|
|
| \
|
|
| | \
|
|
__ | |\ \ __
|
|
_____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________
|
|
| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
|
|
| | _/_/_____ | | > > _/_/_____ | |
|
|
| | /________/ | | / / /________/ | |
|
|
| | | | / / | |
|
|
| | | |/ / | |
|
|
| | | | / | |
|
|
| | | / | |
|
|
| | |_/ | |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
|
|
| |________________________________________________________________| |
|
|
|____________________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
...presents... Fuck You, Swamp Rat
|
|
by Swamp Rat
|
|
|
|
>>> a cDc publication.......1991 <<<
|
|
-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
|
|
______________________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
WHAT THIS IS: It's a buncha stuff. So read it, already.
|
|
-S. Ratte'
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"My Penis #1" -7/9/90
|
|
|
|
If my penis was a choke collar,
|
|
I would wrap it around your neck...
|
|
Pull it tight-
|
|
|
|
Thirty-six
|
|
Inches o'
|
|
Gore-filled
|
|
Hateful
|
|
Tits of salvation
|
|
|
|
-and strangle you like the dog you are.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"That Damn Cat" -1/26/91
|
|
|
|
You don't like me,
|
|
You just want my food.
|
|
(And especially my dairy products.)
|
|
|
|
Fuck you, cat.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"My Penis #2" -7/16/90
|
|
|
|
My penis is-
|
|
the garter snake
|
|
in your garage
|
|
that you hit over and over
|
|
with the baseball bat.
|
|
Hiss.
|
|
Hiss.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"Cut" -4/25/91 2/22/91
|
|
|
|
Two Aaaay Emmmm Plumb crazy, goin'
|
|
I drive by her house like a special fruit
|
|
His car's there to keep me regular.
|
|
And the lights are out. Stomach is raging
|
|
And i want to and there's blood
|
|
cut. in my shit.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"Mud an' Bug Parts" -2/21/91
|
|
|
|
Half-naked in the
|
|
Dark, the couple standing on the porch
|
|
don't understand why i'm running down their
|
|
street - running to, running away - doesn't matter, just
|
|
SomePlace "Stupid fucking kid!"... but they don't know the
|
|
puddles and rivers along the edge of the
|
|
streets, and the wild
|
|
grass smell and the sky, the wall and eternity above
|
|
always above my head.
|
|
I jump up at it with a frustrated yell
|
|
to come crashing down in the
|
|
soggy wet grass stings my legs, but i'm the earth now,
|
|
mud and water and bug parts and icky things
|
|
and it's right, and it's where i belong.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"Grinch Hunt" -12/30/90
|
|
|
|
All the Whos down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot
|
|
So they rolled up their peppermint in gooey old snot
|
|
The Whos hated the Grinch, they baked him into a pie
|
|
And they chanted, and shouted -
|
|
"Grinch must die die die DIE!"
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"Nervous Phones" -2/21/91
|
|
|
|
Staring at the phone
|
|
And it's not ringing.
|
|
<dial><dial><dial><dial><dial><dial><dial>
|
|
Now your phone is ringing
|
|
But it's not being stared at.
|
|
Huh.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"My Penis #3"
|
|
|
|
My penis, my penis,
|
|
Is not a heroin fiend.
|
|
And if it was on the showroom floor,
|
|
I'd wax it to a glossy sheen.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"Bury It" -2/25/90
|
|
|
|
bury it
|
|
beneath the swings
|
|
under the gravel
|
|
tracked, plowed by a hundred swinging feet
|
|
bury it
|
|
the ducks have gone
|
|
the lake is cold
|
|
bury it
|
|
with the blood from the last scraped knee
|
|
and the flakes of dried snot from a nose dragged across a jacket sleeve
|
|
and the knees of jeans are sanitized finally of their grass stains.
|
|
Mom's pleased.
|
|
bury it
|
|
Snoopy is hit by a car
|
|
Encyclopedia Brown Gets Shot Down
|
|
Prom Night Massacre
|
|
The Sunday-morning waffles have imploded.
|
|
bury it
|
|
too inefficient
|
|
eat dogs? Cannibal dogs? dog eat dog?
|
|
bury it
|
|
plow it under
|
|
under the gravel
|
|
under the swing
|
|
tracked by a hundred feet, a thousand feet
|
|
bury it?
|
|
Fuck THAT noise... I'm alive, thank YOU very much.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"Bamn Ditch #1"
|
|
|
|
Hey, you
|
|
If i wanted this kind of
|
|
Rudeness, disrespect, and inconsideration
|
|
I'd go up to a total stranger
|
|
On the street
|
|
-beat 'em over the head with a baseball bat
|
|
and wait for a reaction.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
Pogo-Stickin' Delirium" -11/19/90
|
|
|
|
I wield my mighty pogo-stick
|
|
And gallop across the plains of Armageddon
|
|
|
|
It's a well-oiled death machine
|
|
A precision masterpiece of engineering
|
|
Leaving 3-inch diameter holes in the foreheads
|
|
Of the unjust and irrational
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"A Job Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Right"
|
|
|
|
I saw her tonight. She doesn't even remember. How could she? She never
|
|
knew about the endless hours she had been thought about on the long summer days
|
|
and nights... the beautiful dreams about her with her soft billowy blonde hair,
|
|
fully rounded breasts and wide inviting hips. But it still aches and digs like
|
|
a phillips-head screwdriver tearing through my feet up to my brain. It's been
|
|
years, but it's not finished. Too polite, always too polite, to finish it.
|
|
Well, I'll finish it this time. I know where her bedroom is, and I've got a
|
|
gun.
|
|
|
|
I'll finish it now. I'll find out exactly what's going through her pretty
|
|
little head. It'll be easy when there's a hole through it.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"Don't Stick Yer Penis In a Vacuum Cleaner Hose"
|
|
|
|
Under much strain of thought, I have come to the conclusion that my
|
|
favorite household appliance is the vacuum cleaner. Not just any vacuum
|
|
cleaner but a floor model with a long white hose. Not a Hoover, nor a
|
|
Shop-Vac, but a Kenmore from a mighty Sears store. Why do I prefer the vacuum
|
|
cleaner to the myriad of other available appliances? One big reason:
|
|
|
|
SEX.
|
|
|
|
But I won't bore you with the details. The vacuum cleaner is the
|
|
ultimate anal-retentive perfectionist device, which suits my personality
|
|
wonderfully well. Dirt over there? No problem! Dirt over here? Again, no
|
|
problem! The spiritual implications are many. Sin is synonymous with dirt.
|
|
|
|
CLEAN MY SOUL, CLEAN MY CARPET.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"My Penis #4" -3/22/91
|
|
|
|
I'ma gonna pound my penis flat as a pancake jus' to please you, dear.
|
|
WHAM WHAM WHAM <yow> WHAM <eergh>
|
|
|
|
There... two feet wide, quarter inch thick. Much like a sail for floating in a
|
|
lake with a cool breeze blowing, my penis extended above - propelling me to and
|
|
fro. Or perhaps a fan, to flap and cool my testicles in the hot summer sun.
|
|
I can even roll it up, like a poster or carpet, and make the meanest poker you
|
|
ever did see.
|
|
|
|
YEEHAW!
|
|
|
|
YEEHAW!
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"The Fair" 10/1/88
|
|
|
|
I went to 'The Fair' last night/tonight...(late the 30th, whatever).
|
|
What fun. Wandered around & saw more booths selling hot dogs than I'd like
|
|
to, and lotsa prize booths, the entire 12-16 yr old population of Lubbock,
|
|
many grits, and a bad comedian. I went on this ride thing that spun around a
|
|
lot, which I wouldn't have rode except that I didn't pay for the tickets.
|
|
Lucky me. Saw some people from HS which I hadn't seen since graduation, which
|
|
was kinda nice. It's kinda depressing though, makes you realize how time
|
|
passes and people go and all that...you don't think about how you miss people,
|
|
even just acquaintances, before it's too late. There's a momentary lift with
|
|
the smile of recognition, and perhaps a nod or "hey", or short conversation.
|
|
Then you walk off separately, and think about the good times, or sense of
|
|
comradere... and you realize it's over now, and a great coldness fills
|
|
your spirit. Gads. All that time, friendships, acquaintances... all torn to
|
|
nothing. There's something really tragic in there.
|
|
The whole thing is starting NOW... and it's not gonna end. Damn.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"Bamn Ditch #2"
|
|
|
|
You bitch...
|
|
I'd like to pound your breasts flat with a hammer
|
|
And fuck you with a chainsaw.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"Stacy"
|
|
|
|
There was this girl who wanted to marry me when i was about 6 years old.
|
|
Our romantic hopes were dashed, however, when I almost poked her eyes out with
|
|
a stick.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"Better, Stronger, Faster"
|
|
|
|
...doo doo dii doo...doo dii doo duuu dii doo dii dooo duuu.
|
|
|
|
"But Oscar... I know I can handle the Communist spies AND stop the space
|
|
alien invasion AND Save The Whales... my Bionic Kung-Foo Grip can do wonders,
|
|
not to mention cyberpsychoplasmic eyesight/nasal enhancer combo."
|
|
|
|
"The Agency knows that, Steve, but it's an awful lot to risk... your
|
|
insurance premiums could SKYROCKET!"
|
|
|
|
"Fuck you, Oscar. And your stupid briefcase. Me an' Jamie's gonna check
|
|
out my hydrolically-enhanced penis, so HA!"
|
|
|
|
Fuckin' hockey puckin'.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
"My Penis #5" -4/8/91
|
|
|
|
I'm feeling antagonistic towards my penis
|
|
So me an' Penis are gonna go at it
|
|
"No holds barred", as they say
|
|
And when it's over,
|
|
One of us is gonna be BEATEN to a BLOODY PULP.
|
|
|
|
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
That's it for now. Hey, call the only AE line I know of in existence:
|
|
The Polka AE 806/794-4362 Pw:KILL
|
|
_ _ ____________________________________________________________________
|
|
/((___))\|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|NIHILISM..............517/546-0585|
|
|
[ x x ] |Paisley Pasture......916/673-8412|Ripco II..............312/528-5020|
|
|
\ / |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194|The Works.............617/861-8976|
|
|
(' ') |Lunatic Labs.........213/655-0691|Condemned Reality.....618/397-7702|
|
|
(U) |====================================================================|
|
|
.ooM |Copr. 1991 cDc communications by Swamp Rat 07/20/91-#175|
|
|
\_______/|All Rights Pissed Away. FIVE YEARS of cDc|
|
|
|