123 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
123 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
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_____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________
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| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
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| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
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| |________________________________________________________________| |
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|____________________________________________________________________|
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...presents... My Day With The Dentist
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by Psychedelic Warlord
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>>> a cDc publication.......1990 <<<
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-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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My appointment was set for 2:30 at Mr. Wilbanks' general dentistry office.
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I walked in the door at about 2:13 and after signing in, I sat down to read a
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magazine (by the way, I tore out all the subscription cards). I was called in
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a little early because the place was practically empty, and there were no other
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people waiting.
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"Robert?"
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"Yes.."
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"Dr. Wilbanks will now see you."
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I've been going to Dr. Wilbanks since I was a little kid. He always asks
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me the same questions, and I give him the same godamn answers every time.
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"Hello, Robert. How's the family?"
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"Ohh... fine, I guess."
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"Still playing soccer?"
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"No. I quit playing soccer about 7 years ago. Remember?"
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"Yes, yes. Robert, you're one of my favorite patients. I've always been
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nice to you, haven't I?"
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"Ye..."
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"So you know that I'm not TRYING to hurt you?" he asks, as he pulls out a
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shot that's about as big as Minnesota.
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"Uh..."
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"Ok then. Nurse, blah blah blah blah."
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"Yes, Dr. Willbanks"
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The nurse proceeds to put some kind of gel on my gums (I guess to numb
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them so I wont feel the shot he's about to give me). After it's been set for a
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while and I can barely feel the right side of my mouth; he pulls out the shot
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that looks to be the size of Minnesota.
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"Ok. This will only hurt a second. You know, Robert, you've always been
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one of my favorite patients. I won't try to hurt you one bit."
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I kind of grunt for an answer, because by now I have about 20 tools in my
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mouth and I can see that he's about to ram that shot of his down my throat.
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"Ok. This won't hurt a bit..."
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"Owwwwwwwwww! Jesus Christ!!!!!"
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"See? That's just fine. So what position do you play on your soccer
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team?"
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** Warning, this next part is kind of gross, you may want to abort **
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By now I'm drooling all over the place, because their godamn saliva-
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sucker-upper isn't working too well; and I can't feel the right side of my face
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at all.
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Of course, I can't talk because the right side of my face is silly putty
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and he now has about thirty tools in my mouth. So, of course, he begins to ask
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me some more questions.
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"Do you ride bicycles at all, Robert?"
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"Ewww... yohhh"
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"Nurse, hand me that hammer and chisel. Thank you. All right, Robert.
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This won't hurt a bit." Clank, clank, clank... woosh... "Oops. Sorry about
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that, Robert."
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It seems he was hammering away and he slipped (he's an older gentleman),
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so now I'm missing half of my lower lip.
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"I'm sorry about that Robert. You know I didn't mean to do that. We'll
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have you fixed up in a jiffy."
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A jiffy? Jiffy? Holy Jehova on a rusty nail! Well... after that it
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wasn't so bad. He got in a few more, "So how do you like soccer?" type
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questions, but I just drooled on him.
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Yeah.
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_ _ _____________________________________________________________________
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/((___))\|The Convent..........619/475-6187 The Dead Zone.........214/522-5321
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[ x x ] |Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362 The People Farm.......916/673-8412
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\ / |PURE NIHILISM..........new # soon Ripco.................312/528-5020
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(' ') |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194 The Works.............617/861-8976
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(U) |=====================================================================
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.ooM |(c)1990 cDc communications by Psychedelic Warlord. 1988-04/03/90-#130
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\_______/|All Rights Pissed Away.
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