122 lines
5.6 KiB
Plaintext
122 lines
5.6 KiB
Plaintext
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_____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________
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| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
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| | _/_/_____ | | > > _/_/_____ | |
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| | /________/ | | / / /________/ | |
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| | (A commercial artist would| |/ / (Please notice how the header | |
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| | charge a buncha money | | / is perfectly centered and | |
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| | for these 'too cool' | / aesthetically pleasing.) | |
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| | letters, boy.) |_/ | |
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| | | |
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| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
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| |________________________________________________________________| |
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|____________________________________________________________________|
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...gifts... David and Goliath: Goliath's Point of View
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(a thoroughly worthless tale)
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Telewritten by Leper Messiah and Swamp Rat
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on The Dead Zone BBS... just to PROVE how stupid
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we are. Unedited to preserve the full impact.
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Damn right.
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>>> a cDq publication.......1989 <<<
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-cDq- CULT OF THE DEAD Q-TIP -cDq-
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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LM: THE ROck doctor..sounds great...........d00wd......hows this for
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storys......"David and Goliath: Goliaths point of view"......."There he was,
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that shit-fuck David, jew-bastage from hell.......andhe was going to kill
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me".....dot dot dot.
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SR: dot dot dot. spiffy. yeah, so like i tried to stomp on him, but he hit me
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withthis fucking rock on teh head, and i passed out. i woek up in bangladesh,
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id dunno how.
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LM: And that pissed me off.........so.....so........I destroyed Atlantios.
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SR: yeah, and sunk along with teh city..and landed in mud and sunk deeply and
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was preserved for thousands of years...until the bottled city of sitnalta,
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ivnefsed atlnatis, was discoverd..and Aquaman came and foudn me deep within the
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mud and fossils and dgu me out..i promptly ate him and his stupid fish, and
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went up to ravage the surface world..
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LM: But then I was offered a movie contract with a horror film director......
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SR: but they got upset 'cause i kept getting confused and like hitting the
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people and splttering 'em all over..liek teh actors, ya know..so they'se dead,
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and diredctor yelled, and I got upset, and went off to get drunk..and i became
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an alcoholic, and got written up in the tabloids 'cause i had an affair with
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elizabeth taylor, and tehn i was so wiped out i had to go the betty ford
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rehabilitation center wheer i screamed ina room and then..
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LM: Thisis a definite text file...just get that buffer out...edit..and.....
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wah-lah...best seller.........shlong me.
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SR: and then waht...yeah..agreed, tfile material...and um...i went on to
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co-star on children's tv special with Bil Cosby and Mr. T teaching kids to say
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no to drugs and ...um...obesity.
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LM: But then...........Sesame Street hired me to be the new sNuffaluffuhguss,
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and they had a new series.....
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SR: whree I was...tadah..."SUNFFALGFAGUS..the AVENGER!" and I chased pimps and
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drug gang guys and like i um...
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LM: slowly became the hero of the modern nation of America. Children and
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parents alike hailed me as their savioiur, and sure enough, the Republican
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Party nominated me to be president...
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SR: But whatsisname...the guy who shot reagan?
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LM: Hinkley...he lived a block over fromme.
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SR: neat. John hinkley Jr., the only sane person left,tired to assasinate
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me..adn lying in bed with a bullet in my prostrate, the people realized they
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didn't want a big sily person in a red snufflefagus suit as their president, so
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i was impeached, and now i'm a street person eating old grapes.
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LM: But unfortunately, two of these grapers were poisonous, and I got in Time
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magazine with a bunch of catchy titles like "The Grapes of ...DEATH".....and
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once again, prostrategland-less and snufelufegass suitless, i became a hero of
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society, saving them from the perils of old grapes"
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SR: rapes from ...the plce with cyanide grapes..?
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LM: Of course, they threw them out....and.....goliath picked em up.
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SR: nono...they were grapes tha the found...and he was the first to die, and in
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doing so, saved everyone from immenent death.
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LM: But being a Bible character, he is immortal....
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SR: well, in words..but i mean, like he's nota diety..just a hero..higher than
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garfield though.
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LM: But definetly not as high as Heathcliff..
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SR: no way. so he's dead. The End?
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LM: damn, i suppose so........
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SR: Cool. lemme go buffer.
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antlers!
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_ /_ _____________________________________________________________________
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/((___))\|The Convent..........619/475-6187 The Dead Zone.........214/522-5321
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[ o o ] |Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362 Greenpeace's IGB......916/673-8412
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\ . / |PURE NIHILISM..........new # soon Ripco.................312/528-5020
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(' ') |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194 Mistress Hildegarde...718/520-0085
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(U) |=====================================================================
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.ooF |(c)1989 cDc communications by LM & SR. 09/30/89-#122
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\_______/|All Rights Left.
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