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873 lines
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| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
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| |________________________________________________________________| |
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|____________________________________________________________________|
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...presents... The cDc #100 BamBam File
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by The cDc cultees
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>>> a cDc publication.......1989 <<<
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-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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xXx preface xXx
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Hey there. For cDc's 100th release, we decided we'd do something a
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little special. This file is a hodge-podge of various writings from many of
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the cDc people, as well as some cDc propaganda thrown in for good measure.
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It will attempt to explain what we're about, as well as dispel some of the
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wrong ideas people have about our group. Hopefully, it'll be somewhat amusing
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as well as informative.
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We had planned on having this file out before the end of '88. There
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was a mad rush to get the last few files prior to this one out. Then, in late
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December, I had started putting this file together and stupidly overwrote hours
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of work with a 2k file on head-bashing or whatever. I was too sick of editing
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t-files then to restart on it, so we took a break from putting out any files
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for about 4 months. Now we're back with 4 new BBS systems in the glorious
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herd, and many more files in the future. We'll be around until we're all
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either sick of all this or dead, so watch for our stuff to come.
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Thanks to: all the cDc guys, past and present. The Egyptian Lover and Grand-
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master Flash for their systems, The Missing Link/Phreak Klass 2600 and The Red
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Raider/Pirates' Cabaret/Missing Link AE, and for their help in getting us
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started in telecom in '84. LOD/H. The Rocker and his Speed Demon Private [big
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influence on my own board], and his MetalliBashers' Inc. group (MBI). Erik and
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David Olson, Matt Storm, and Brandon and Ty Brewer (who are all geniuses). The
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Blade for the Metal AE. Anarchy, inc. and Neon Knights/Metal Communications
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for their file work in the past. Phantom Access. The Phrack people. The
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Snowman and his Pitstop AE/Metalland North/Red Light Section. Body Glove and
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the Iron League attempt. The various Metallands BBSs. The Atlantic Alliance
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BBS. Ripco BBS. Asmodeus Rex and OOTR (heh...). Black September and xORG.
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The Necrovore, The Usurper, and the Cross Of Iron project. The old Pan-
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Galactic Entropy crew. The old (pre *-fytrs) Byte Bastards BBS group. The Mad
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Hatter and Atom Ant of Down the Rabbit Hole BBS in 805. The Mountain Man.
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Digital Logic's Data Service. Sunspot and The Unholy Alliance. Red Knight and
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his cDc/Telecom group [good luck!]. Rubik and the cDc/Australia try [oh
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well...]. This is getting too long... all the telecom-related groups in
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various fields (h/p, cracking, whatever). All the interesting, cool people
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I've 'met' through telecom, all over. The people who were nice enough to
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include me in their conferences from time to time. Everyone I'm leaving out.
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Especially, anyone who's ever taken the time to put out a good, interesting
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t-file, the document of our times.
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-Swamp Rat 4/23/89
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Editor, cDc communications
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xXx contents xXx
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1. "Dead Cows?"
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2. "Retro Cow"
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3. COW BEAT - Vol. 1, No. 1
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4. cDc propaganda fun
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5. miscellaneous mooings
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xXx "Dead Cows?" xXx
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by Swamp Rat
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This section is a short part on the meaning of cDc and a little on its
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origins. cDc was started in July of 1986 by Franken Gibe (Bill), Sid Vicious
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(Brandon) and me (Kevin). We were all local to 806 (Lubbock, TX). The
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three of us were 15-16 years old at the time; Brandon and I were both running
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boards. Like most idiots starting a group, we didn't know why we wanted to
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have one, it just "seemed like a good idea at the time."
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Locally, we had had a small sysop association going, known as The
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Pan-Galactic Entropy. It was nothing really, but from it came the beginnings
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of our little group. We got together with some of the other local people in
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the same age range who were 'into' telecom and began helping each other out
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with the 'shadier' areas of the hobby. Thus, a group. It seemed like we
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should have a name. Logical assumption, right? So we deliberated a while over
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this. During a 'chat' with Brandon, we came up with the name, "Cult of the
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Dead Cow". Good as any, we supposed. And we didn't want something like all
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the others..."Mega-Elite Phreaks And Hackers Of Greater Cleveland" (MEPAHOGC).
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And no, it has nothing to do with Satanism. As a matter of fact, we almost
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decided on the name, "Cult of the Dead Potatoes" (cDp).
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For a while, the group floundered. The main problem people face when
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they decide to form a group is not lack of talent or ability, it's a lack of
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direction and definite goals. We had a bunch of people, several boards and a
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spiffy name, with nothing much to do. Most of the time in similar situations,
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groups break up. However, due to our stubbornness and/or stupidity, we stuck
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it out. During this time (late '86-mid '87), several of us had written t-files
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now and then. Suddenly it dawned on us, after we had written about 10 files,
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that we could specialize in file writing. Bill and I talked this over
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extensively and decided that's what we'd do. So cDc became a file-writing
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group. There are certain things that people can do in a group context that
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can't be done as well when working individually, and working with others in
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a group can be fun. You can, as a group, decide to put forth a message
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(possibly political) and be more effective with your combined efforts. Those
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are some real reasons for forming a telecom group.
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cDc continued with the file writing, and people continue to join the
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group and we have become a pretty prolific bunch. In the meantime, Sid-o
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"retired" from telecom. Last we heard, he was doing lots of drugs and playing
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guitar in a punk band. Franken Gibe writes an occasional file, but doesn't
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call out much. I call a few boards, do the minimum necessary to keep my
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board from crashing, and edit files when there's time. Most of the people in
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the group tend to be "liberal" oriented, and many of our files have a political
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or social message in them. We try to have files with good information, humor,
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fiction, music, poetry, magazine reprints, or whatever somebody happens to find
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interesting. We think of this as a sort of 'zine publishing, with telecom as
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the medium. Franken Gibe thought of a good phrase to express our attitude as a
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group, "telecom as the means, not the end." We focus on the end, hopefully
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human communications. Most other groups focus on telecom as a technology.
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That's the difference in our approach, something we're proud of. There's
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nothing wrong with pure h/p groups and what they do; people enjoy it as a
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challenge. However, we feel that that approach alone leaves something out.
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We've been attempting to fill that gap.
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xXx "Retro Cow" xXx
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by Franken Gibe
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Two years. Two years since the inception of Cowism-Pragmatism. And what
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a stormy, whirlwind of a period it's been. Now that 1989 is breathing down our
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necks, and the old year has a day or two left till it crumbles into oblivion,
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I thought it'd be worthwhile to confess a few things. Funny things, stupid
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things, things you might want to know. This is not an apology by any means.
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It's a rough sketch of some of our rougher moments, anecdotes which should be
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written down. The lore on the other side of the pasture.
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o"Long before the skies would open", and the Cult was nothing, not even a
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concept, and Pangalactic Enema was simply a personal campaign directed
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against The Egyptian Lover (never mind, never mind), I found my way into
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the modem world. The modem world in general, the late Missing Link (806)
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in particular. The names were just names to me, names without faces or
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meaning. Lex Luthor, White Knight, Phantom Phreaker. This was the cusp
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of the beginning, and these names belonged to a young, second generation.
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Blotto and Sherwood Forest and Bioc Agent 007 had already stepped from the
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center of the telecom stage, persons and places distorted by the foggy
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mythos which is so distinctive and integral a part of the underground.
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Yeah, I was just an outside observer. A really disturbed one, at that.
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One of my handles was Fructoast, a bisexual prostitute fascinated by
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computer jocks. I stepped into the court of the telecom courtiers as a
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buffoon, a court jester. But I took my stupidity very seriously, and chafed
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under the oppressive hierarchy of the Informed Aristocracy. This is really
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where the Cult was born. Cultees should realize that they are the offspring
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of a telecom Reformation. The fundamental premise of the Cult was and is
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that wit, a sense of humor and esprit de corps, and the ability to express
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thoughts and personal philosophy succinctly and well are attributes as
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important as a detailed knowledge of a UNIX OS, or the local version of ESS.
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o The preceding paragraphy went further than I'd wished. I guess it is
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necessary to stress, though, that the Cult is a splinter group, the vanguard
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of a new movement. Before cDc, there were the Elite and the Loserz. It was
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a simple, feudal, pre-pubescent system of class discrimination, based on
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connections (primarily) and knowledge or experience in the h/p arts.
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Not to seem immodest, but cDc was really a liberating force. It mocked the
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self-seriousness of the Tcom Elite, it ignored the accepted conventions of
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behavior, and gave refuge to the anonymous legions who were interested in
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actually communicating, in somehow connecting on a more profound basis than
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h/p could offer. 100 files later, files of which only a notable few deal
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with h/p subjects at all, the Cult can retrospectively say it's been true
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to its mission. Yeah, the tactics did cause some problems, but things
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worked out. Maybe this is a good time to segue into the dirt I initially
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said I'd discuss.
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o <astle <atatonic was my (Gibe's) short-lived h/p board. I mention this
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'cause it explains something about the conflict which led to my resignation
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from cDc back in '87. More than Ratte', more than anyone who called himself
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a Cultee, I placed a pretty hefty value on the self-discipline of the Cult,
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as well as the value of h/p. I admit, I had illusions of grandeur, and
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envisaged a group to rival the evil Neon Knights and the grandpappy of
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them all, LOD! Of course, cultees came and went like woodies at a summer
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camp, and our vague and certainly not stringent admissions policy was
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counter to all my ideals. Thank God for Ratte'. He kept the Cult open.
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What I don't think I realized then, that I realize now, is that cDc is pretty
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self-selective. People don't join for the prestige (Bob knows...) but for
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the purpose, the premise. Yeah, the author of the Book of Cow is an
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impatient guy. And boy, did the sparks fly when Ratte' and Gibe clashed.
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o Another big, behind the scenes crisis came when Black September started
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moving in on Cult territory. Well, they really weren't- BSept was basically
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a r0dent group with heavy piracy leanings- but somehow cDc got mixed up
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with them, and the line between our groups was getting uncomfortably fine.
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One night, Ratte', Phantom Access and I planned in a conference call to
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form a terrorist organization and sabotage BSept. We considered leaching
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well-known files and distributing them under the BSept name, writing
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ridiculous files and doing the same thing, and generally undermining the
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group's prestige. However, we decided against it, and the plan fell through.
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It certainly wasn't a very nice idea, though.
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o The terrorist brigade was at it again later on in '87. Phantom Access,
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Ratte', and I joined forces to steal Phreak Klass 2600. Heh. The Egyptian
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Lover, one-time sysop of the one-time Missing Link turned PK, was out of
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town. Phantom Access, in a brave histrionic performance, went to the front
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door of TEL's house, crying, and claiming that Rich had one of his disks.
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[...and a long story about how he had to see Grandmaster Flash in Florida
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with the disks or he'd be killed (one of TEL's friends and former telecom
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semi-legend) -Ed]. In the end, TEL's very kind mother allowed the conniving
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cultee access to TEL's disks, which he promptly snatched. After copying
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them, we returned the disks, and TEL was none the wiser.
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o Well, I guess this isn't much of a contribution to the 100th cDc
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Extravaganza File. If anything, consider this an update of Cult Lore
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which, for certain obvious reasons, couldn't be written down earlier
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[some of which still can't be written yet...um -Ed.]. Here's to 1989-- the
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year of the CowInternational. Be ready. And Bob Bless.
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___
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/ \ ____
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/\/ \___ _____/ \_____
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| ______ \_/\/\___ /\_ / _____ \ /\/\/\_____
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/\/ / / \__/ \/ | \ \___/ \
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/ | | _ \ _\|/_ |_____/ _ _|_ /
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\__ | | / \ \ /\ / /|\ | \ /_\ /\ | \
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\ \_\_______ \_/ \/ \/ ___ |______/ \_ \/| | /
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\/\_ _ /\ /\___/ \ _ /\ /\ _/
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\_/ \ /\ /\__/ \ /\/ \/\/\/ \ / \/\_/ \/
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\/ \/ \/ \____/
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Vol. 1, No. 1
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COW BEAT is published now and then by cDc communications, PO Box 53011,
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Lubbock, TX 79453. Copyright(c) 1988 by cDc communications. All rights
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reserved. Title COW BEAT and the distinctive "Bob the Cow" logo are ours, and
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we'll be really, really rude to anyone who doesn't like them. All rights to
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letters sent to COW BEAT will be treated as unconditionally assigned for
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publication and copyright purposes and as subject to COW BEAT's right to edit
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and to comment editorially. Any similarity between persons and places in
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COW BEAT and any real persons and places is purely coincidental. COW BEAT's
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comments on pictures, people, trademarks and/or copyrighted material are only
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its opinion based solely on those facts disclosed. COW BEAT's use of such
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items is not authorized by the persons named and/or depicted by the trademark
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or copyright owners, and no such authorization should be inferred. All nude
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models are 12 or older.
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Editor: Swamp Rat
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IN THIS ISSUE: Letters to COW BEAT!
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The NEWS PASTURE! Keeping Trax on the Fax to the Max!
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RACER X's Top Fashion Tips! The cross-dresser speaks!
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Your TEQUILA WILLY Questions Answered!
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L.E. PIRATE - What They're Saying About Him!
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Letters to COW BEAT!
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Send us things! Send us letters! Send us short stories! Send us pictures!
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Send us money! Send us music to review! Send send send!
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MAIL -
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I was listening to one of those death metal groups and was totally disgus-
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ted. You can't even understand what they're saying except for words like
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"death", "kill", and "hell". Groups like Slayer and Possessed epitomize the
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sorry state heavy metal is in today. There was a time when metal music stood
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for having a good time. Groups like Slayer totally destroy these values. They
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shouldn't even be allowed to use the word "metal" and don't deserve press in
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HIT PARADER.
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C.R. - Freemont, CA
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Ed: What?
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On page 5 of G.I. JOE: SPECIAL MISSIONS #5, I have found a mistake.
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Slip-Stream gives a fellow soldier a Transformer for his son who has just had
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his tonsils removed. Slip-Stream tells him it's Jetfire and that it turns into
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a swing-wing fighter. But the Transformer is not Jetfire. It's Megatron,
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leader of the Decepticons, before he was transformed into Galvatron. And he
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turns into a pistol. Slip-Stream is, like most people, unfamiliar with
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Transformers and cannot tell the difference between any of them. Since he's a
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pilot, the one he remembers is Jetfire, because, in Jet mode, Jetfire resembles
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a Skystriker. Until Destro rusts, MAKE MINE MARVEL!
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S. K. - Address Withheld
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Ed: What?
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Hi! My name is Sara. I'm a Kirk Cameron fan! I love it when you include
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Kirk Cameron and Patrick Swayze pin-ups! They're so cute! Kirk is such a babe
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and Patrick is a GREAT DIRTY DANCER! I have Kirk Cameron, Patrick Swayze, Bon
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Jovi, Jason Bateman, Corey Haim and Chad Allen pin-ups all over my room. I
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love your magazine because you include all the cute babes! I'm 12 and I love
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to play drums and volleyball. Keep puttin' those babes in the mag!
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Kirk Cameron's No. 1 fan,
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Sara W. - North Branch, MN
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P.S. Please include a poster of Kirk & Patrick for me! Thanks!
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Ed: What?
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Dear Sir: Most tourists to Alaska are the poorer because a visit to
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Talkeetna is not included in their itinerary.
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As one approaches, a homemade sign proclaims, "Welcome to Beautiful
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Downtown Talkeetna." Around it are weeds almost as high as the sign.
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This unique village boasts an exciting museum in a converted "little
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red schoolhouse," the Fairview Inn (where, after President Harding had driven
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the golden spike for the Alaska Railroad, he met with a few friends for drinks;
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a sign notes: "Many residents proudly boast that President Harding was poisoned
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at the Fairview Inn"), the Annual Moose Droppings Festival and the nearby
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Barlett Earth Station.
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The Rev. L.D - Saluada, VG
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Ed: What?
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I read your magazine every month, and it gets better and better. I love
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the issue featuring "Caryn: Bedside Manner." She's as gorgeous as they come,
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and me, being a guy with a foot fetish, found her loving toes and soles enough
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to keep me jacking off for days. What really turned me on is that a label
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indicated she got her shoes from a store called Wild Pair. I work for one in
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Detroit; so you keep 'em sexy, and I'll keep 'em in sexy shoes.
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R.J. - Detroit, MI
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Ed: What?
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The COW BEAT News Pasture!
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G.A. ELLSWORTH admits that being a teen idol is, "a lot of fun," but he
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insists, "you can't take it too seriously. That's when you get into trouble!"
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...being a major star means being recognized by fans everywhere you go, and
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nobody knows that better than L.E. PIRATE and YARDLEY FLOURIDE. But the Jersey
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boys took time out to pose for photos with eager fans and to sign autographs
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when hundreds of admirers came by the studio...
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_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
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RACER X's Seven Top Fashion Tips!
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If any cross-dressing teen knows what it means to make a "fashion
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statement," pretty Racer X does. Dressing well is just about as important to
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Chris as drumming well is, and he does them both with loads of style! Racer X
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knows a lot about dressing up (and dressing down!), and we thought you'd like
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to read about his 7 top fashion tips!
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1. One key to dressing great is hitting those MALLS and BOUTIQUES as often as
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possible. Chris exclaims, "I just LOVE to go CLOTHES SHOPPING!!" And we hope
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you do too! You don't have to buy something every time - Chris doesn't - but
|
|
he knows the mall is a great place to check out the latest trends!!
|
|
|
|
2. Racer X says, "I love buying FUN CLOTHES AND JEWELRY," and that includes
|
|
apparel with a lot of "BRIGHT COLORS." If you're like Chris, you don't want
|
|
to be a drab dweeb who wears only brown and black! Brighten up your wardrobe,
|
|
wear FUN CLOTHES and you'll get noticed!
|
|
|
|
3. Chris likes to dress TRENDY, but not so much that he blends right in with
|
|
the crowd. "I like to make my own STYLES," Racer X says. Be unique; put on a
|
|
push-up bra or FUNKY pair of shoes. Chris is not afraid to be daringly
|
|
different, so why should you be?!?!
|
|
|
|
4. Racer X owes part of his fantastic FASHION SENSE to his mom, who's a
|
|
fashion designer. "I'm not very good at matching colors," admits Chris.
|
|
"That's what I have my mother for. I'll say, 'Mom, does this go together?' and
|
|
she'll say, 'No, Chris, you look like a Christmas tree!!'" Ask your own mom
|
|
for some fashion tips. Moms don't have to be fashion designers to tell you
|
|
that you look like a Christmas tree!
|
|
|
|
5. Anyone who wants to dress in the best fashions has to STAY IN SHAPE too.
|
|
Chris loves chocolate and fries (he eats plenty of both), but he works out
|
|
plenty to keep his figure trim and his mini-skirts fitting great!!
|
|
|
|
6. You can have the best outfit in town, but the worst MAKEUP on earth. Chris
|
|
loves shopping for makeup, but he only chooses makeup that will bring out his
|
|
NATURAL BEAUTY and ENHANCE HIS WARDROBE. Ask your friends or older sis to
|
|
help you pick the right makeup for you!
|
|
|
|
7. One of the most important things to remember: don't get in a FASHION RUT.
|
|
"I like all types of clothes, really," says Chris. "You show it to me, I'll
|
|
wear it!" Tight jeans, baggy sweaters, scarves, minis, tees, sophisticated
|
|
sheathes - wear a variety of clothes, and be open-minded like RACER X!
|
|
|
|
|
|
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
|
|
______________________________/advertisement\_______________________________
|
|
|
|
"Are you sure I'll still be a virgin?"
|
|
|
|
"I really wanted to use tampons, but I'd heard you had to be, you know,
|
|
'experienced.' So I asked my friend Lisa. Her mom is a nurse so I figured
|
|
she'd know. Lisa told me she'd been using Petal Soft(R) Plastic Applicator
|
|
Tampax(R) tampons since her very first period and she's a virgin. In fact, you
|
|
can use them at any age and still be a virgin.
|
|
I was totally psyched to try Petal Soft Tampax 'cause I really hated pads.
|
|
And now I can't believe I waited so long. The first thing you notice is the
|
|
rounded tip on the plastic applicator. That's what makes them so easy to put
|
|
in! And they're made to be slender so they're really comfortable to wear and
|
|
easy to take out too.
|
|
Petal Soft tampons protect really well because they absorb like crazy and
|
|
expand to fit the way you're made, so they never plug you up. They're so much
|
|
better than pads. I love them!"
|
|
|
|
Tampax tampons. The feminine protection more women choose over any other
|
|
tampon or pad.
|
|
|
|
TAMPAX(R) TAMPONS. THE BETTER WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR PERIOD.
|
|
|
|
Tampax and Petal Soft are registered trademarks of Tambrands Inc.,
|
|
Lake Success, NY 11042 (c)1988 Tambrands, Inc.
|
|
|
|
|
|
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
|
|
|
|
|
|
Your TEQUILA WILLY Questions Answered!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: Does Willy really have his own apartment?
|
|
-Michelle - Brooklyn, NY
|
|
|
|
A: Yes, not too long ago Willy moved into his own place- right downstairs from
|
|
his mom's apartment!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: Is it true that Tequila Willy is annoyed with Heather Grahamm because she
|
|
said she didn't want to kiss Willy because he thought he had mono
|
|
[mononucleosis]?
|
|
-Stacy - Maspeth, NY
|
|
|
|
A: In an interview with Heather Grahamm, Heather explained that Willy thought
|
|
he had mono. Naturally, Heather wasn't too happy about it because mono is
|
|
contagious and she and Willy had already filmed one kissing scene and were
|
|
supposed to do more. Heather told us, "I didn't want to get mono." Willy must
|
|
have read our interview, and when he was interviewed by PEOPLE magazine, he
|
|
said he didn't like Heather because she said, "I didn't want to kiss Willy, I
|
|
didn't want to catch his mononucleosis." Heather never said this. In fact,
|
|
she went on to tell us that Willy found out it wasn't mono after all.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: In your "How Much Do You Love Tequila Willy" test, one of the questions
|
|
asked Willy's nickname. I thought it was "Willy-Man," but the answer was
|
|
"Cooties". Was this a misprint or is his nickname "Cooties"?
|
|
-Cheryl - Lebanon, NJ
|
|
|
|
A: Incredible Willy originally claimed his nickname was "Cooties" from a game
|
|
he owns and excels at. We've since heard him give "Willy-ster" as a nickname.
|
|
COW BEAT often refers to him as "Willy-Man." "Cooties" was the correct answer,
|
|
but we admit that using "Willy-Man" as one of the choices was confusing.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: In all of your Willy stories you've said the first things he notices about
|
|
a girl are long nails and her shoes. Does Willy have three things he notices
|
|
about a girl? Your reply would really be nice.
|
|
-Betty - Phoenix, AZ
|
|
|
|
A: When Willy meets a girl, he always takes notice of her hair, her shoes, and
|
|
her navel!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: I've written a letter to Willy. Do you think he will write back or even
|
|
read my letter?
|
|
-Kim - Lacey, WA
|
|
|
|
A: Willy reportedly receives close to 2000 letters from fans every week.
|
|
That's an awful lot of mail! We can't say for sure whether or not Willy will
|
|
respond to your letter, but we got a letter from "Willy Fan in New York" who
|
|
says she got a personally autographed letter from Willy!
|
|
|
|
|
|
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
|
|
|
|
|
|
L.E. PIRATE - What They're Saying About Him!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Everybody knows that L.E. PIRATE is a special guy, just ask any one of his
|
|
thousands of fans. But what exactly is it that makes him so wonderful? We've
|
|
asked some of the people who know L.E. or have worked with him, to tell us what
|
|
it is that makes L.E. the most lovable teen star in Jersey. Here's what
|
|
they're saying about him!
|
|
|
|
--Anonymous
|
|
"I've only heard nice things about L.E. People say, 'Oh, L.E.'s such a
|
|
sweetheart!' and it's really cool, he's lived up to that."
|
|
|
|
--Alan Thicke
|
|
"[L.E.] comes from a great family, he's very well centered, he goes to
|
|
church, he follows the Pritkin Diet. He's a very decent fellow and pretty much
|
|
what you see on television, only a little nicer and more centered. He's an
|
|
excellent human being."
|
|
|
|
--Missy Gold
|
|
"L.E.'s great. He's everything you print in COW BEAT, everything you read
|
|
about. He's great. He's really nice, he's not affected by stardom at all."
|
|
|
|
--Yardley Flouride
|
|
"L.E.'s a great brother."
|
|
|
|
--Mrs. Pirate
|
|
"L.E. participates and helps out around the house and does everything that
|
|
the girls do to make the ship run."
|
|
|
|
|
|
_______________________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well, that's the end of the SUPER first issue of COW BEAT! Be sure and watch
|
|
for the next HOT edition, with the scoop on all your FAVE telecom HUNKSTERS!
|
|
|
|
|
|
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
|
|
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
|
|
|
|
|
|
xXx cDc propaganda xXx
|
|
|
|
|
|
The cDc communications current member list (and the boards they run/ran):
|
|
|
|
Franken Gibe - <ASTLE <ATATONIC
|
|
Swamp Rat - DEMON ROACH UNDERGROUND
|
|
Asmodeus Rex - ALCAZAR
|
|
Phantom Access - DARK SECTOR
|
|
L.E. Pirate - DRAGONFIRE PRIVATE
|
|
Yardley Flouride - DRAGONFIRE PRIVATE
|
|
Psychedelic Warlord - TACOLAND
|
|
Tequila Willy - TEQUILA WILLY'S GREAT SUBTERRANEAN CARNIVAL
|
|
Oberhieman - BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
|
|
Leper Messiah - THE DEAD ZONE (214)
|
|
G.A. Ellsworth - PURE NIHILISM
|
|
Sunspot - MILLIWAYS
|
|
Red Knight - THE SWITCHBOARD (cDc/Telecom)
|
|
Lady Caroline - THE CONVENT
|
|
Greenpeace - GREENPEACE'S INVERTED GRANOLA BAR
|
|
The Dark Static
|
|
Necrovore (formerly The Raver)
|
|
Racer X
|
|
The Pusher
|
|
Obscure Images
|
|
|
|
|
|
...and the things they've written:
|
|
|
|
Currently: 100 releases
|
|
All files on DRU's sTAC: volumes 19 and 20
|
|
|
|
# Title Author
|
|
_________________________________________________ ______________________
|
|
1. Gerbil Feed Bomb Swamp Rat
|
|
2. Wizardry Docs Swamp Rat
|
|
3. Wizardry Spells Swamp Rat
|
|
4. Rescue Raiders Docs Swamp Rat
|
|
5. Renegade Cows (dist.) HAL 9000
|
|
6. Assembly Fun Sid Vicious
|
|
7. Slow Death Swamp Rat
|
|
8. Book of Cow Franken Gibe
|
|
9. Society Sucks Psychotic Opposition
|
|
10. P.E.A.C.E. Psychotic Opposition
|
|
11. Suicidal Tendencies-Join the Army (lyrics) Wasted Pandemonium
|
|
12. Metallica-Master of Puppets (lyrics) Swamp Rat
|
|
13. NPA List Franken Gibe
|
|
14. UNIX Bible Franken Gibe
|
|
15. Yellow Pages Vol.I Franken Gibe
|
|
16. A Fucked Life Swamp Rat
|
|
17. Gnu Christmas Story Franken Gibe
|
|
18. Bunny Lust Tippy Turtle
|
|
19. The Cat in the Hat Swamp Rat
|
|
20. Green Eggs & Ham Swamp Rat
|
|
21. The Cold Truth 2600/S. Ratte'
|
|
22. How to Card Shit, When You Live With Your 'rents L.E. Pirate
|
|
23. How the Grinch Stole Christmas Swamp Rat
|
|
24. EZ Destruction Dial Tone
|
|
25. Method of Destruction-USA for MOD (lyrics) Swamp Rat
|
|
26. The Phone Sex Scandal L.E. Pirate
|
|
27. Frankie's Fireside Phreak Primer Franken Gibe
|
|
28. Yellow Pages Vol.II Franken Gibe
|
|
29. Cow Chronicles #1 Franken Gibe
|
|
30. The Bovine Epic of Creation Franken Gibe
|
|
31. A Feature on MONEY - Today's Monster Psychedelic Warlord
|
|
32. Dirty Rotten Imbeciles-Crossover (lyrics) Swamp Rat
|
|
33. Fun With Traffic Lights Dial Tone
|
|
34. Dead Kennedys-Give Me Convenience...(lyrics) Suicidal Amoeba
|
|
35. Scarfing Suicidal Amoeba
|
|
36. On BLACK FLAG... Suicidal Amoeba
|
|
37. A Few Good Songs off of Eat Your Paisley Psychedelic Warlord
|
|
38. Area Code and Time Zone List Dial Tone
|
|
39. Fuck The World Swamp Rat
|
|
40. Sex With Satan (dist.) Psycoe
|
|
41. The Mentors-Up the Dose (lyrics) Mr. Drunkfux
|
|
42. Apple Shape Tables The Dark Static
|
|
43. Metallica-Kill 'Em All (lyrics) Swamp Rat
|
|
44. Mail Fraud L.E. Pirate
|
|
45. Beaming Dream: a poem Tequila Willy
|
|
46. Fun With Small Animals and Other Household Pets Sunspot
|
|
47. Hacking Into Hell The Raver
|
|
48. Evil Poetry: Vol. I The Raver
|
|
49. The Queen is Dead: a poem Sunspot
|
|
50. The Song of the Cow: a poem Psychedelic Warlord
|
|
51. The Day My Kid Turned Punk The Dark Static
|
|
52. Cross Of Iron 1.1 The Raver/editor
|
|
53. Cross Of Iron 1.2 The Raver/editor
|
|
54. Cross Of Iron 1.3 The Raver/editor
|
|
55. About Cross Of Iron #1 The Raver
|
|
56. The Prophecy of Cow Franken Gibe
|
|
57. History of the Bovinomicon The Raver
|
|
58. The Nameless Pasture The Raver
|
|
59. Interview With Neo-Nazi 'Ausderau' Psychedelic Warlord
|
|
60. Megadeth-so far, so good... so what! (lyrics) Swamp Rat
|
|
61. Bovine Death The Raver
|
|
62. Scotty's Tale of Sex and Death Racer X
|
|
63. Sesame St. Possession Swamp Rat
|
|
64. Death Angel-Frolic through the park (lyrics) Swamp Rat
|
|
65. Agnostic Front-Liberty & Justice For...(lyrics) Racer X
|
|
66. Dayglo Abortions-here today guano tomorrow(lyrics) Swamp Rat
|
|
67. Thrasher's Metallica Interview Part 1 Racer X
|
|
68. Thrasher's Metallica Interview Part 2 Racer X
|
|
69. Testament-The New Order (lyrics) Swamp Rat
|
|
70. The cDc compilation: volume one (Apple II/2 sides) Swamp Rat/editor
|
|
71. The *ONLY* Way To Get Telenet Thingies Tequila Willy
|
|
72. Toxik-World Circus (lyrics) (dist.) The Omen
|
|
73. Visions From The Last Crusade Psychedelic Warlord
|
|
74. The Camping Trip Franken Gibe
|
|
75. Metallica-...And Justice For All (lyrics) Swamp Rat
|
|
76. Institutionalized Necrovore
|
|
77. Held Captive Racer X
|
|
78. Danzig (lyrics) Racer X
|
|
79. The True Story of Cult of the Dead Cow Psychedelic Warlord
|
|
80. ...a Slayer kind of day... G.A. Ellsworth
|
|
81. Trail of Blood Sunspot
|
|
82. Geek: The Saga Continues The Pusher
|
|
83. Lyrics to Both Youth Of Today Albums The Pusher
|
|
84. Big Black Interview G.A. Ellsworth
|
|
85. cDc core #1 The Pusher
|
|
86. Screwdriver Flippin' Sunspot
|
|
87. A Tale of Two Sexes Swamp Rat
|
|
88. Armageddon's Coming: a poem Sunspot
|
|
89. The cDc compilation: volume two (Apple II/2 sides) Swamp Rat/editor
|
|
90. Cow-San Necrovore
|
|
91. The Reel Way The Pusher
|
|
92. "Group Revue" The Pusher
|
|
93. Las Vegas Mutantz From Hell! The Pusher
|
|
94. Fighting - The Clean Way! The Pusher
|
|
95. Impresario: Malcom McLaren and the British New... The Pusher
|
|
96. Dead Kennedys-Plastic Surgery Disasters (lyrics) Necrovore
|
|
97. Twisted Reality Necrovore
|
|
98. On The Porch Swing Suzy Rust
|
|
99. Top Gun Don Howland
|
|
100. The cDc #100 BamBam File The cDc cultees
|
|
|
|
|
|
...and the boards they run:
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Convent...[all t-files].....................................619/475-6187
|
|
The Dead Zone...................................................214/522-5321
|
|
Demon Roach Underground...[cDc hq]...[login:THRASH new:JIHAD]...806/794-4362
|
|
Greenpeace's Inverted Granola Bar...............................916/673-8412
|
|
Milliways.......................................................718/428-6776
|
|
PURE NIHILISM...................................................517/337-7319
|
|
The Switchboard...[cDc/Telecom].................................718/358-9209
|
|
Tequila Willy's Great Subterranean Carnival.....................209/526-3194
|
|
|
|
|
|
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
|
|
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
|
|
|
|
|
|
xXx miscellaneous mooings xXx
|
|
|
|
|
|
-The Pusher
|
|
"Well it's nice to know that my shirt disrupted your whole relationship."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
-Swamp Rat
|
|
"In a fit of oral deprivation, Mike smeared Alpo on his penis and approached
|
|
the dog..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
-"Rabbits" by Tippy Turtle - 12/30/87
|
|
|
|
Cruelty to rabbits. Ugh! Just who the hell do we think we are? Just because
|
|
some people don't relate to a fat bag of fur's tranquility, they have to go
|
|
jamming tissue spears up where tissue spears weren't made to go.
|
|
|
|
I think if we all simply meditated on the placidness of rabbits, the world
|
|
would be well.....um.. basically the same stinkin' place it is....but at least
|
|
we'd know that rabbit's really aren't all that spherical.
|
|
|
|
Look at the bunny.
|
|
So,
|
|
So very calm.
|
|
But inside, there lurks a desire for revenge...
|
|
Beware abusers of bunnies
|
|
For your time is near.
|
|
|
|
[This message brought to you by the People Who Give A Fuck If Rabbits Are Hurt
|
|
Really Bad (P.W.G.A.F.I.R.A.H.R.B.).]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
-From "A Day With the Dentist" by Psychedelic Warlord
|
|
|
|
By now, I'm drooling all over the place, because their godamm saliva-sucker-
|
|
upper isn't working too well, and I can't feel the right side of my face at
|
|
all.
|
|
|
|
Of course, I can't talk because the right side of my face is silly puddy,
|
|
and he now has about thirty tools in my mouth, so, of course he begins to
|
|
ask me some more questions.
|
|
|
|
"Do you ride bicycles at all, Robert?"
|
|
"Ewww.. yohhh"
|
|
"Nurse, hand me that hammer and chisel. Thank you."
|
|
"All right, Robert. This won't hurt a bit."
|
|
|
|
Clank, clank, clank... whoosh.. "oops. Sorry about that, Robert."
|
|
|
|
It seems he was hammering away, and he slipped (he's an older gentleman)
|
|
so now I'm missing half of my lower lip.
|
|
|
|
"I'm sorry about that Robert. You know I didn't mean to do that. We'll
|
|
have you fixed up in a jiffy."
|
|
|
|
A jiffy? Jiffy? Holy Jehova on a rusty nail!
|
|
Well.. After that it wasn't so bad. He got in a few more "So how do you
|
|
like soccer?" type questions, but I just drooled on him.
|
|
|
|
Yeah.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
-From "Life Is..." by Sunspot - 3/18/88
|
|
|
|
Life is funny, not funny like Ronald Reagan sneezing, or funny like Nancy
|
|
Reagan scratching what's left of her breast, more like it's funny like frogs
|
|
getting flung against a tree is funny.
|
|
|
|
Life is unpredictable, not like one minute you're standing on the sidewalk,
|
|
the next minute you're sitting on Jessica Hahn's lap in Honolulu eagerly
|
|
sucking her right breast while she grasps your masculinity in her mouth, and
|
|
the next minute you're in New York being mugged, not that type of
|
|
unpredictability, more like you're crossing the street and a bus hits you and
|
|
mashes yor skull into silly putty, and all the passengers laugh at your dead
|
|
body, that kind of unpredictability.
|
|
|
|
Life is stupid, not stupid like George Bush is stupid, more like leaping from
|
|
a banana tree onto a rabid dog is stupid.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
-"A long sentence" by Tippy Turtle -12/30/87
|
|
|
|
The sensible thing to do was to stay in the vat, where it was at least cooler,
|
|
but Wesley, his judgement distorted by the hallucinogenic muffins, decided that
|
|
he had to make a break for it, leaving behind not only Madge and Vernon and
|
|
his tiny chum Rodrigo, the miniature poodle, but also the supposedly impervious
|
|
'miracle fiber' jumpsuit, bought in hope of protecting himself in just such a
|
|
situation, and his sample case of fruit jellies, diligently carried by hand
|
|
through a variety of similarly perilous if not as uncomfortable assignments,
|
|
any of which, with the possible exception of this, he would gladly undergo
|
|
again, to preserve democracy in California.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
-Franken Gibe, in a car with Swamp Rat [Kevin] and Tippy Turtle before Ratte'
|
|
more than likely ran a red light at a 4-way intersection and hit a Thunderbird.
|
|
August of '87.
|
|
|
|
Gibe: "Kev... KEVIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
|
|
|
|
<bam!screech!horrible car wreck noises!>
|
|
|
|
[You had to have been there...]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
-by Racer X
|
|
|
|
And the train just rolled into town
|
|
And off this train, three gigantic panda bears did step
|
|
And they were hungry, and they were hungry for
|
|
For not just sexual favor
|
|
They wanted something deeper, something more melodic
|
|
Something more tangy, like fish soup
|
|
So they made their way across the starry ocean sky, plank backwards
|
|
And there, they did meet a fellow with a 'coonskin hat
|
|
Who called himself, Matt
|
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He was just sitting there, playing the harmonica, playing the gittar
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He was just having a good ol' time, completely naked
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He was at one with nature
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It was his land, it was mighty Matt's land
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And there the squirrels did grow from out the plants that grew
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And the pandas, they just shook their fat faces and wondered,
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"What's wrong with this guy? Why ain't he got no clothes?"
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And then, they shook their might paws up into the sky
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And they heard a voice from up above, that shouted down to them,
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"You fucking assholes. You guys are such fucking assholes!
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Leave 'im alone, leave 'im alone!
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You guys are such fucking assholes."
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_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
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In closing: something important to remember with death threats between pirates
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and senseless "wars" over egos and such.
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"This isn't real life, you unplug your modem and it's gone, this is supposed
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to be enjoyment..."
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-The Gonif, years ago.
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_ _ _____________________________________________________________________
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/((___))\|The Convent..........619/475-6187 The Dead Zone.........214/522-5321
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[ x x ] |Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362 Greenpeace's IGB......916/673-8412
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\ / |Milliways............718/428-6776 PURE NIHILISM.........517/337-7319
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(' ') |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194 The Switchboard.......718/358-9209
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(U) |=====================================================================
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.ooM |(c)1989 cDc communications by The cDc cultees 04/24/89-#100
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\_______/|All Rights Pissed Away.
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