378 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
378 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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_ _ _ _
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((___)) ((___))
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[ x x ] cDc communications [ x x ]
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\ / .ooM presents... \ /
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(` ') / (` ')
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(U) (U)
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THE *ONLY* WAY TO GET TELENET THINGIES
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by Tequila Willy
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_______________________________________________________________
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| TEQUILA WILLY'S GREAT SUBTERRANEAN CARNIVAL: <209>/526-3194 |
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|_______________________________________________________________|
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Please Note: The idea to compile this ^
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Wow, it highly valuable and useful information |
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lines up! ---> into a t-file was conceived by Tequila Glory For
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Willy (that's me).. Actually, honestly Me!
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(see the pureness of my Bovine being?)
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Swamp Rat and I were chatting away and
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I thought it might make one wow t-file
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so it 'twas written..Well, actually it
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was scribed...Hmmm...hard to say...Not <--- Note the
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really..I'm just attempting to get the excessive
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paragraph here to form a lil' box, and use of
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I think I'm doing a good job.. Like I periods...
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wanted to say, I just wrote the file..
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but the ideas within (this tfile) were
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formed by Swamp Rat and myself. Ta-da.
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>>> A CULT Publication......1988 <<<
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-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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(The following file is buffoonery..ya..that is..well, it's a parody ya'll..)
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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08/15/88 <--]- That's the date!
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2:20 p.m. PDT <--]- That's the exact time!
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(sorta..almost..kinda)
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If you're a REAL HACKER (like myself and L.E.) then you not only subscribe
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to superior magazines like Hustler and National Geographic, but you also spend
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a LOT of time (gobs of time i.e.) jackin--er..I mean, hacking Telenet.. Finding
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new nodes to hack, planting viruses, and (of course) getting those radical
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TELENET THINGIES...
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<%=-------------------------------------------------------------------------=%>
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[ Definition ]
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(Do you like the way I used those brackets and the neato little line with the
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groovy little "--=%>" pattern on the end? Ya..I knew you would! I stole that
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one from "The Phreaker's Handbook" by Cat-Trax.. You remember, it's the file
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that looks AMAZINGLY SIMILAR to great parts of "BIOC Agent 003's course in
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BASIC TELECOMMUNICATIONS PART IV".. What the hell..I mean, so what if it's
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plagiarism? I mean, if BIOC stole from Cat-Trax.....(Riiiigghhhttttt..[read
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that with lots o' sarcasm..]))
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Well, anyhow, back to the subject..like I was sayin'.. <ahem>..
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[ Definition ]
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(All you ELITE!1! people can skip over this part cause' you obviously already
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know what I'm talking about, but I gotta stick this part in here for all the
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LAMES that are reading this... hupho..)
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*ELITE* people call Telenet thingies "Telenet thingies" so that all the pigs
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and narcs won't catch on to the code... But since this is a "tutoring" file
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I'll tell you exactly what Telenet thingies are....Just MAKE SURE that no pigs
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or narcs get their hands on this file...
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TELENET THINGIES a.k.a. TELENET IDs a.k.a. TELENET NUIs...
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(Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...!)
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ko...Now that you know what were going to be getting, we can get to the good
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stuff...
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[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]/[+]
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[ The Good Stuff ]
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(Notice the groovy little line I used to separate the main ideas?)
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There are many ways to go about acquiring Telenet thingies...I will go over my
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favorite methods for you...
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METHOD I: Ransom
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--------- ------
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This is my favorite method..I've acquired at least 100+ IDs..er...TELENET
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THINGIES..via this method. Here's whatcha do....
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4 The first thing you have to do is locate the Telenet office in your
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town/city/village.. If you don't know where it's located, simply pull a
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CN/A on the number. Once you get the address where your local dial-up(s)
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S are located, pay it a visit...(and bring something to write with and
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p something to write on)..
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a
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c Stake out the office from the parking lot.. Wait for an employee to enter
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e his/her vehicle and then write down the license plate number (unless you're
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elite, then you can just use your photographic memory, but haye', don't
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feel bad, we can't ALL be elite..)
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M
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a Wait around the parking lot some more and get the plate numbers of several
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r more employees... After you have 5 or 6+ plate numbers you can do either
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g of the following (depending if you're elite or not)...
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i
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n * The First Way (UNelite): Head on over to the DMV office and get the
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! names and addresses of the owners of those
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license plates.. This is very simple and easy,
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and only costs a very little, tiny, teeny bit
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of money..
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* The Second Way (ELITE): Simply break into the DMV computer and get their
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names and numbers for FREE. (Call up Jennifer,
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invite her over and when she gets there tell her
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to "...turn on the PRINT-er so I can get a
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PRINT-out of THIS..." <click> <printer noises>
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(Riiiiggghhhhhhhtttttttt.....))
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Okay, so you got their addresses, now what? Go ahead and test out your
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elite hacking skills... Go on, guess where you're going now!
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[ Fill in your guess here: ________________________________
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__________________________________________________________ ]
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Right on! You're going to go home, grab some food out of the fridge, crank
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up the stereo, and call up a girlie!
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If you are a lame you obviously won't know any girls so just jack off and
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have a stale Twinkie...
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Now that you're done with your leisure time, head on over to one of those
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addresses that you have. Once you're there, case the place... If you're
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not a pussy then you'll be elite and break-in while they are home...On the
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other hand, if you're a gutless sapsucking mongo-hippy dweeb then you'll
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want to wait until no one is home before you break-in.
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Breaking in is easy enough to do (I prefer the Santa Claus method of
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entry myself), but if you need help I'm sure The Ninja can help you..He's
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only written about 10,000+ files to help you be a stud, if you can't find
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what you need in there, to help you break into a home, then just skip this
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method of getting those Telenet thingies...While you're at it, sell your
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computer equipment and buy an Atari 2600..See if you can get some stale
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Twinkies at Food 4 Less too.
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Now that all the lames have given up, all you real hackers may proceed
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with the rest of this file. You might be lame and ask "Why am I breaking
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into this house?" or you might be elite and ask "Y M I brakin' in2 thiz
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hauz?/?/" In either case, I'll tell you... You're looking for pets. You
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know: cats, dogs, rodents, fish, carpet lice, etc. Once you have found a
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pet (which you will presume the owner is emotionally attached to) you will
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proceed to take him/her/it home with you.
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Once home you'll want to boot-up your favorite word processor so that you
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can write your ransom note (of course the ransom will be those RADICAL
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TELENET THINGIES!##@%2135%$!#@%$#@%@$!%$!@^)
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(To ease in simplicity I have included an example of a ransom note that
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I often use myself.)
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Example!
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______________________________________
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| I HAVE Y0R CAT!!!11!!! |
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| IF U WANT 2 SEE IT A LIVE |
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| EFAR AGAIN THEN U WILL GIVE |
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| ME YOUR SEKRAT TELENET ID!!!1!!! |
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Example! --> | | <-- Example!
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| **DO NOT KALL THE |
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| POLISE** |
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| I WILL KONTAKT U WITHIN 24 |
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| HOURZ!!!!1!!!1!!!!1!! |
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|______________________________________|
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Example!
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You might be thinking to yourself that you don't have their phone number.
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Then again, you might be elite and know how to get it, but I'll explain
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it for the lames reading this.. To get their phone number all you have
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to do is build a Beige Box (didja ever notice how 4 million+ fucking lames
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decided they to could be elite via plagiarism and therefore SLYLY
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"invented" shit like the Bud Box and the Hot Box? I would just
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specifically like to say to those guys (specifically the author of the Hot
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Box): EAT SHIT AND LIVE!) Like I was saying, you merely build yourself a
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BEIGE BOX, find the Bell-Hell box (that grey fucker) attached to the side
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of the house and pull an ANI on the line....
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(Wasn't that...SPECIAL...?)
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Okay, when you call the guy back you gotta be confident, secure, in
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control of the situation. To aid you in your quest for Telenet thingies,
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I've included sample dialogues of not only the RIGHT way to do things,
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but also the WRONG way...
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THE WRONG WAY:
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==============
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<beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep> (<-- SIMULATED DTMF!)
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<ring> <ring> <worried voice answers>
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VICTIM: "Hello??"
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YOU: "Hi, how ya doing today? I'm the one who kidnapped your cat!"
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VICTIM: <boo-hoo> "You say you want my TELENET ID??"
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YOU: "uhhh..ya..that's right."
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VICTIM: "What's your name?"
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YOU: "M.T. Head! Just a sec.." <long pause> "...My sister has to use
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the phone..Could you call me back in about 1/2 hour?"
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VICTIM: "Okay.."
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YOU: "Here's my number..."
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Okay..okay...bad example..But as you can see, it's ALL WRONG!1!1%$@#%!@%#
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dAMIT!1!%!# BE A FUCKIN' TERRORIST!!%$@#%!#@%
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THE RIGHT WAY:
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==============
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<beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep> <beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
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beep beep beep beep beep beep beep> <beep beep beep, beep beep beep, beep
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beep beep beep> (Notice how you reroute your call like all ELITE
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hackers do?)
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<riiing> <static noises> <riiing>
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VICTIM: "Hello?"
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YOU: "Yo!--Bitch, I got your fucking cat! <hideous laughter>"
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VICTIM: "Yiiiiieeeeeee! Issheokay?huhhuhishe?"
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YOU: "If you ever want to see this cat alive again, you'll give me your
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Telenet thingie right now!"
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VICTIM: "Telenet thingie? You mean ID?"
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YOU: "Shhhhhhh....! yayaya.."
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Obviously, by this time your victim will be so frightened that you'll
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have no problems getting the Telenet thingie out of them... If you're
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not a pussy you'll kill whatever animal you caught and send it back to
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them--STUFFED!
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METHOD II: Survey
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---------- ------
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Do the same thing as you would in the ransom method to obtain their
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name and address, but instead of kidnapping animals you merely pretend
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to take a survey.. The trick to this method is that you have to be sly
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in your questions..
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(To aid you in your quest I have included a questionnaire that I have
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used before to successfully obtain telenet thingies.)
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[FOR BEST RESULTS DO NOT MIX THE ORDER OF THESE QUESTIONS!]
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Introduction:
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"Hi, my name is Indianian Jones, and I'm conducting a survey
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for a sociology project. I'd like to know if you'd
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participate by answering a few questions?"
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<stick your foot in the door now>
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(After they agree, proceed with the following questions...)
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"1. Do you prefer a penis with length or girth?
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2. Do you enjoy chewing gum?
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3. What's your favorite color?
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4. What is your Telenet ID and password?
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5. Do you think communism will prevail?"
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(Notice how SLYLY you obtained information to logon with their account?)
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<remove your foot from the door>
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"Thank you for your time."
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<leave>
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METHOD III: Technically Debonair
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----------- --------------------
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This method is one of my favorite methods to obtain Telenet thingies!
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For this method you will need some hardware.
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HARDWARE REQUIRED:
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Tape recorder,
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RCA jacks (4),
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A 90 min. tape,
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Bailing wire,
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Banana peel,
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Orange paint,
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Telephone (preferably with DTMF),
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A copy of Hustler,
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A garbage can,
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100 sheets of white typing paper,
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A Clock,
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Modem,
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VCR (VHS).
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Okay, chuck everything into the garbage can except for the tape recorder,
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the VCR, the 90 min. tape, modem, and your copy of Hustler. Now you merely
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go on down to the Telenet office and hook your tape recorder up to
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their data lines so that it will record all the data that is sent and
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received. You might think that that is easier said than done, and god
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dammit you're right! But then, I just write these things to gain glory for
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me, if you want to get technical, read a copy of Phrack Inc!
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Once your tape is filled up (you're supposed to stick the tape in the tape
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recorder..sheezzzeee!) you take it home and hook the tape recorder back up
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to your modem. Now you hook the VCR up to your monitor (this actually
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works best with a T.V...but haye', if you want to struggle..) Play the
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tape back to your computer and record all the stuff to the VCR... Now, when
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you have leisure-time, you can simply play the VCR back and fast forward to
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the technical stuff that you need (i.e. finding the Telenet thingies!)
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METHOD IV: Pseudo Telenet
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---------- --------------
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Here is another favorite method that I often use when I go on vacation.
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The idea here is that you have everyone think that your number is
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actually Telenet by writing a program that will simulate logons. I
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actually have a VAX in my basement which is great for this, but haye',
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we can't ALL be elite and have that luxury (I carded it!)
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The only real trick here is getting people to call your number instead
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of Telenet. I will discuss two methods which I have successfully used
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to accomplish this task.
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Call Forwarding Method
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----------------------
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To use this method you simply call up the Telco. office and order
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call forwarding for the Telenet line, then you head on over to the
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phone terminals (at Telenet) and, using your stolen lineman's
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handset, forward the numbers to your line. Wasn't that simple?
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Mail Fraud Method
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-----------------
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This my preferred method. The first thing I do is write a program
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(on my VAX) that will address a letter to every address in my
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city (it's only about 150,000 population, so it doesn't take long)
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stating that the Telenet number has been temporarily changed [to
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my number]. I then use the mail fraud method of sending the letters
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so that it's all free (you know, that's where you put the person
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you are sending it to as the return address and then "forget" to put
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a stamp on it and it's "returned"..) When I am done running my
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operation, I merely do the same thing stating that the number has
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been changed back. It's so simple.
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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Well, that about wraps it up for THIS T-File.. I would like to extend a hearty
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congratulations to those of you who are still reading.. Be sure to look for
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more distorted and unachievable humor in the near future. Adieu...
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===============================================================================
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"Don't you hate it when loosers call each other loosers?"
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===============================================================================
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"What ever happened to Bowzer?"
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"Does Batman still love us?"
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===============================================================================
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(c)1988 cDc communications by TA-KEE-LA Willsie 8/17/88-71
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All Rights Worth Shit
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