114 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
114 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
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File : BAN_RELG.TXT
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Author : El Presidente & Bat Bastard
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BBS : The Banana Republic BBS
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AS REVEALED BY DIVINE INSPIRATION
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THE WORD OF THE GREAT BANANA
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---------------------------------
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Hear Ye, Hear Ye...
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Let it be known amongst the populace the our Divine Lord the
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Great Banana has spoken to us.
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"And ye, verily, thou shalt makeith a church of mine upon the
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earth, and it shall be called The First Church of the Born
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Again Banana. My corporeal representative in all matters
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shall be El Presidente, and he shall be hence forth called
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Pope Inclement Drinking Weather the First."
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In direct accordance with our Lord the Great Banana's wishes
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I have hereby founded The First Church of the Born Again
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Banana, and declared myself Pope. The Great Banana, acting
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through his earthly representative (me) has demanded that a
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priesthood be formed, headed by a Cardinal, and this Cardinal
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shall be named Cardinal Nana. Bat Bastard has been chosen
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for this ministry and shall henceforth be known as Cardinal
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Nana.
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Hear Ye, Hear Ye...
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All ye worshipers of Bananas let us come together, to worship
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the Great Banana in accordance with his divine wishes.
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All ye followers of the Great Banana who wish to participate
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in the worship of our Lord, should make yourselves known to
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us, and we will enlighten you in the ways of the Great
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Banana.
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Signed and Dated
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El Presidente.
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Pope Inclement Drinking Weather the First.
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The Year of our Lord the Great Banana 19524.
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A Call to the BananaHood !
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--------------------------
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Fellow citizens! Bretheren! Brothers!(and sisters)
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Have you felt a weakening of the moral fibre, the very
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essence of the society in which we live? Skate muties on
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every street corner! Deviants baying at every door!
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Pacifists, peace activists and poofters clawing at the
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constitution! Fear not,,oh woeful ones, for verily and yeah,
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thine salvation is near, for The great Banana himself has
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revealed his plan for the salvation of us all. For verily the
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Great Banana has quoth "You are the Banana , ans on this
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Banan I will build this church, for the foolish man builds
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his house on a rock, the very cymbal of imperminance, but the
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wise man. he buildith his on a Great Banan (preferably 9" or
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more)" A Church has been founded, with Pope Inclement
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Drinking Weather the 1st as the force made fruitful, and
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myself, Cardinal Nana as his appoinyed and annointed right
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hand banana . But forceful though we are , we need YOU, oh my
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brothers and sisters, to combat the evil of the Lord Of the
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Fruitflies, to tell it on grove,yea, even unto the ends of
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the earth(even Otara), from the banana bar of the Globe,, to
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shout to anyone who will listen (and anyone who willnot).
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This is our mission, to be the Daleks of god, to Join, my
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kindred, unite in the Priest hood of Nananess.
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Are YOU worthy? Do you posess of these noble qualities:
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Non-celiate
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A nine inch Nana
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A LOUD voice
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A fervent passion to preach the way of the Great Banana
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Good running shoes
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A kevlar flack jacket
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Lots of money (for donations).
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If you Fell worhty to this , the greatest of calliings,
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contact I, Cardinal Nana, (or, under my secular title, Bat
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Bastard), as soon as possible.
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May your Banana never wilt, may the fruit of your loins be
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naught but Bananas, and may you walk in the everlasting light
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of the Great bananas Radiance.
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P.s do not hide your banana under a bushel.
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Signed and dated
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Bat bastad
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Cardinal Nana
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Yera of our Lord, the Great Banana 19524
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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AUTHOR : El Presidente & Bat Bastard
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Brought to the WORLD by The Banana Republic BBS
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