81 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
81 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
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Anarchy Inc. ...presents...
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<[+=------------------------------=+]>
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! -=] Crime on the Job [=- !
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! Written by: The Ascii Assassin !
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<[+=------------------------------=+]>
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[Or: How to Live off of $3.00 an Hour]
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______________________________________________________________________________
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-=]> Foreword/Disclaimer: <[=-
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This file is intended to teach you how to commit illegalities on the
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job with a minimal risk of getting caught. Please note that I cannot take
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responsibility for anybody's actions. If you are too inmature to allow this
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to sink into your head, than don't bother.
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-=]> Introduction: <[=-
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First off, you need a job. Probably the best job for the beginner is
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janitorial-type activities. It's best if you're not the only one. Especially
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when you work in a big office building (which is, coincidentally, where most
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of the goodies can be found). By stealing, filching, or otherwise seperating
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goods from their previous owners, you can use the money you save by not having
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to by them for other things. Like the phone bill you must be running up while
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reading this file.
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-=]> Getting to it: <[=-
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First, you have to find a place that's offering janitorial jobs. Look
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in the want ads or something (if you can't read..you've got a problem already)
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You should be able to get the job on your own. Okay. So you've got the job.
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And what do they want you to do? Take out the trash? It may be a thankless
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job around the house, but there are rewards for doing this job. When you
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empty trash cans from offices, you can, if you wish, look inside them. But
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usually you'll find only scrap paper, diet cola bottles, and other such
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mundane items a secretary can't do without. If you're looking for extra office
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supplies, from diskette labels to postage stamps, they can usually be had.
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Just look around. Be sure that you wear a big jacket or clothing with a lot
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of pockets f you like petty thievery. If you want to steal things that are
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of unusual shapes, like diskettes, get a newspaper and fold it up. The disk-
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ette(s) inside. the perfect way to smuggle out flat goods that you can't fold
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or fit in your pocket/jacket. So you see a jar of jelly beans or candy on the
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desk? Help yourself. After all, it's not pleasant to work on an empty stomach.
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When you take the trash out to the dumpster(s) outside, the REAL fun
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begins. There are goodies to be found. If you look carefully. If you drive,
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you should park your car near the dumpster. So every time you take trash out
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to the dumpster. Relieve them of some of the more valuable stuff and stuff it
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in your car. If you don't drive, bring a duffel bag or something like that,
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if your job is after-school, bring some books to disguise things a bit.
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Sometimes, you may have to vacuum offices. Make sure you start with an
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empty bag. While you go through the rooms, and you spot something you like,
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that can take a little dirt, grab it and wrap it up in some newspaper or what-
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ever, and stuff it in the vacuum cleaner bag. When you're finished, pretend
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you're taking it back to the dumpster (again?). Take your prizes out and dump
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the bag, why would you keep it anyway?
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Major theft, stealing large items, is in a whole different league.
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But, if you think you've got what it takes..go ahead. The best think you can
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do on the job is to make it easy for you to get in and out. Before you leave,
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turn off the alarm, leave a window unlocked, whatever..and come back later at
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night. There are other text-files that go into more detail about break-in's.
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They are definitely on the suggested reading list.
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-=]> Conclusion: <[=-
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Janitorial crime may not be very "glorious", but you can acquire
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many neat and/or useful things at a minimal risk, while getting payed about
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three dollars an hour at the same time. Just don't take any unneccesary risks.
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If you take a big gamble and win, good for you. If you don't..well you DID
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work in a big office bilding, saw some good-looking secretaries, etc..
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This file was created to give you a few ideas just to get started. The best
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criminals are creative. Have fun.
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______________________________________________________________________________
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