163 lines
7.7 KiB
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163 lines
7.7 KiB
Plaintext
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This file from ---]] THE HAUNTED HOUSE [[--- 408/773-1202 300/1200b
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------------
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Anarchy Inc. ...presents...
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------------ B00G ][: The Final Chapter
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Written without consent on a rather dreary day in May, 1987.
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Forgive me.
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:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:@:
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[The secret, of course, to a successful text file, is a good border. -Auth.]
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B00G has aged, and come into it's own. No longer is it a word for the
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elite, the 'initiated' among us. It is a word for the layperson. Or the
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person doing the laying, for that matter. B00G, of course is now established
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as being spelled, ergo, written the way it is in this text file. With its'
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new found maturation, the word B00G...excuse me..
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:+:-----------------------------------------------------------------------:+:
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"...And through the window and the wall coming streaming in on sunlight
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wings, a million bright amdassadors of morning. And no one sings me
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lullabies, and no one makes me close my eyes. So I throw the windows
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wide, and call to you across the sky..."
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[Pink Floyd]
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:+:-----------------------------------------------------------------------:+:
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Ahem...anyway...as I was saying...With the maturation of the word B00G,
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it has taken on various and sundried meanings. Just like the word fuck (see
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"About Fuck" file). It can be used in almost every position in a sentence.
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Here are a few measely examples:
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B00G is a word.
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You B00Ged him.
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That is a B00G deal.
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B00G is a B00G thing.
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B00G B00G B00G B00G.
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Of course, there are many more possibilities, but it would take too
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long, and as most of you barely know the English language, I would rather not
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go into the intricacies. Suffice it to say that B00G is a versatile word.
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With the virtual explosion of the word B00G brought on by the file "B00G
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and the art of ZEN" (which has had a happy resurgence), there have been many
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why's, what's, how come's, and even how oftens about it's use. B00G should
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not be overused. Anything becomes mundane through excess. If there is ONE
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word that is not mundane, it is the word B00G.
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Not many people know it, but there IS a license for the word B00G. Upon
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hearing the word B00G being used by a suspicious individual, one should
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always ask for either "B00G identification" or the person's name and B00G
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number. This method of controlling the utterance of this omni-important word
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will ensure against extinction through misuse. Applications for a B00G card
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can be obtained from the address at the end of this file.
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Training in the use of B00G is essential. Without training, the meaning
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of B00G becomes muddled, and will soon fall into obscurity. Training is a by
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mail process, and culminates in an official B00G Diploma (suitable for
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framing).
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:---------------:
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! In the spirit ! :-:>B00G: The Metaphysical Aspect<:-:
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! of "B00G and !
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! the art of ! The original file on B00G brought up many metaphysical
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! ZEN", this is ! aspects of the word, but it did not answer all questions.
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! a box. ! This portion of the file will deal with the Aura and/or/if
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:---------------: /which/how/SPAM/he/she/Mr.T/goto10 Karma of the word.
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Of course, trying to spend time explaining the Karma of a word of such
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importance, would take a volume the size of a bread box.
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...........................quotation inserted here...........................
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"How big IS a breadbox. I mean, is there a certain regulation size for a
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breadbox?" tW:The Watcher:tW, after a Corona and SPAM(tm)
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sandwich
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.............................................................................
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So, in the interest of time and space, and virtually the entirety of
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human existance, a complete volume WAS written, and then a team of special
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Reader's Digest Condensors were called in to shrink this explanation down to
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the size you see here.
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B00G is. If B00G wasn't, it wouldn't be. If B00G was, it would not be
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now. If B00G will be, it would be in the same state as if it was. If B00G did
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not exist, I would have nothing to do on this boring Friday afternoon. If
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B00G was a different word, the meaning would be different, and thus, we would
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have spent all this time, space and energy writing about B00G, saying B00G,
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and generally creating an aire of importance to the word B00G, for not, or
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gnot, depending on whom you ask.
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B00G is compatible with all Karmas. I asked the Oracle (who, by the way
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is disguised in the form of an Evil Bunny PEZ dispenser in your local
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Safeway) and he said that is was ok with him, as long as it was ok with my
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mother. So, instead of asking her, I killed her. This is B00G.
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B00G is the 7th dimension. This is the main reason no one fully
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understands it. As soon as the 5th and 6th dimensions are actually found, we
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will be well on our way to B00G. B00G is the ultimate existance. Remember the
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first time you experienced the culmination of sinful lust? Remember how good
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it felt? Well, this is a step under B00G. I think.
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And as we were falling down the cliff, surrounded by tons of snow, I
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prayed. I remembered my two small children and my beautiful wife, and I said
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"Please God, don't let me die. Don't let me leave my two small children and
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my beautiful wife all alone." We had just bought a new house, and a station
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wagon. I wasn't ready to die.
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Little did the person in the above Publication_To_Remain_Nameless not
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realize that his wife was having an affair with his best friend, and his kids
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were on large quantities of drugs approximately 72.3% of the time. His life
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was not as B00G as he thought. Pity. He lived, too.
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$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$
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Notice how any two characters on the keyboard make a eyecatching border. This
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is B00G.
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$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$
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Well, after this short dissertation on B00G, I hope you all are as
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confused as Hell. Of course there are those who would parry; "But how do you
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know Hell is confused at all". To them I say; "Eat Litter Green". To the rest
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of you, I hope you find the way to B00G.
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"Do you know the way to B00G?
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Do you know the way to B000000G?"
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"I left my B00000G in San Francisco"
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"I can't wait to feel your B00G tonight"
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Etc.
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Good riddance to you. B00G is finished. Regulations permit us to wear out
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usable subjects on only two text files, so this will be the last all but
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remotely involved with the word B00G. It was a good subject and I wasted just
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under an hour and a half doing a seemingly important job.
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Of course someone could write a file dealing with a different word.
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Just to be funny, and then secretly tell everyone that it was REALLY about
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our friend, the word B00G. This of course would get around any regulations
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necessarily imposed by the Text File Police. Also, we would have the full
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enjoyment of knowing more about B00G, and expanding our minds. This is
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some kind of fun! I tell you. B00G decoder card necessary to read hidden msg.
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<:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:>
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"You guys are all meen stonerz. Professional meen be'erz, that's what!"
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- The Unknown Author
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<:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:>
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Where to send the money: (c) 1987 Anarchy Inc.
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The Dark Side Ascii Express Line
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Call 408/245-SPAM and you will not be disappointed.
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But you might vomit.
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GJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJ
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[Ok...So not EVERY two keys. -Auth.]
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GJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJGJ
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-EOL-
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