79 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
79 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
Exported from SPITFIRE Bulletin Board System on 09-07-91 at 13:12:15!
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DATE..... : 09-07-91 13:07:12
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TO....... : All Users
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FROM..... : Raphael Dareau
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SUBJECT.. : .
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The Story Of Spam
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The story of Spam as remembered from a time not so long ago....
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One day in a Multi-Player game called Avatar, Laecretius, a fine and
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powerful sorcerer, was running one of the lower levels of the game and
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roasting and toasting monsters like all fine young sorcerers do. Then he
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ran into Ninja - which instantly trashed Laecretius. But before dying,
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he yelled "Oh SPAM!", and fell to the floor. The other players of the
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game heard his cry. Although they were surprised, but yet quick to
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adapt, the other people in the game instantly caught on to the theory and
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the ideas of Spam. Spam began to spread by word of mouth as "Wand Of
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Spam", "Helm Of Spam", "The Spam Lord hits you critically for 1 damage."
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and this went on for several hours for that day before everyone turned
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off their E-messages (Everybody Messages) and that ended that for the
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day. However, they kept on going via Avatar and several notesfiles.
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Even the great Felixmeister heard about SPAM.
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Unfortunately, the great Felixmeister zapped Avatar and put in a "new
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and improved" version of the game. All the characters as we knew them
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died. However, the legend of Spam did not die off. It spread by the
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word of the famous words of Raphael Dareau, Crunch, AIESHA, Merlin,
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HAMMERCROM, Irongrond, Beth, and the others are just insignifigant
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people. Pretty soon the entire game of Avatar seperated into factions:
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The Spam, The Neutral Luncheon Meat, and The Anti-Spam. Consisting of
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the Anti-Spam were jude/mainei and The Lipless One, who uttered from his
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non-existant lips, "No Warlock Shall Eat Spam." Pretty soon, things got
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pretty hostile on the New-Avatar and people soon got into the habit of
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turning off their E-messages every time they enetered the game. Pretty
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soon the worlds of =purgatory and =spam was filled with the infamous
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luncheon meat. Then =pad, the most famous notesfile in existance, filled
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up with Spam. Merlin kept throwing it at regular intervals at the
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Felixmeister and they became very obtrusive to the general public.
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Pretty soon Spam brought about the quotings of texts such as "The
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Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" within =pad, and people started to make
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death threats and went as far as offering their high power sign-ons to
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the Slingers Of The Spam.
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However, this was all temporary, as the Debmeister swooped down from
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her own universe and sucked the NovaNET ports from existance in Bangor,
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Maine and therefore caused a chain reaction that caused the eventual
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collapse of the universe of Bangor. However, this was not the end of the
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Legend of Spam. Crunch "The Gold Is In Your Ear, And It Won't Melt In
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Your Hand" got together with Raphael Dareau and Merlin and began to
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spread Spam on the local BBS's. Spam had by now evolved from a simple
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Wand Of Spam to catchy phrases such as "Eat your spam, little boy." and
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eventually brought about "Eat your TriTel, little boy.", but that is
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another story.
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Pretty soon Balzac came into the picture and was absorbed by the
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Jelly of The Slinging Of The Spams. Then the Electra Byte BBS popped
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into existance -- and encouraged the spreading of the Spam. Many people,
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like in Avatar, turned off the people who continually preached about
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Spam, but that did not stop the Spam. Many people began to make aliases
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like SpamMan and more catchy phrases such as "It is Raph, the Spam Man
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with all the answers" popped into existance.
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The EB crashed and brought about the existance of a local BBS where
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Spam is slung freshly every night. Many local people have spread the
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legend of Spam.
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However, our story doesn't end here. The last entry in the Legend Of
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Spam is that Merlin cooked Spam at midnight and woke up his mother from
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her sweet beauty sleep with its odor. However, as Raphael Dareau,
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Crunch, and Merlin go through other computer networks, you are certain
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that Spam will follow them.
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THE END
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