26 lines
1.3 KiB
Plaintext
26 lines
1.3 KiB
Plaintext
Erma Bombeck's 10 Rules to Live By:
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1. Never have more children than you have car windows.
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2. Gravity always wins. Accept that. Science is trying to reverse the
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aging process; the kicker is that you look young on the outside, but
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inside you're still aging. There is no advantage to looking like Arnold
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Schwarzenegger on the beach if you can't travel two feet away from a
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restroom.
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3. Never loan your car to someone to whom you have given birth.
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4. Pick your friends carefully. A 'friend' never goes on a diet when
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you are fat or tells you how lucky you are to have a husband who
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remembers Mother's Day -- when his gift is a smoke alarm.
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5. Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who
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waved off the dessert cart.
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6. Given a choice between the man of your dreams and a plumber,
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choose the latter. Men who can fix your toilet on Sundays are hard to
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come by.
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7. Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother
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Teresa. Fame is Madonna.
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8. Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may
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need this man/woman someday to finish a sentence.
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9. There are no guarantees in marriage. If that's what you're looking
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for, go live with a Sears battery.
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10. Never go to a class reunion pregnant. They will think that's all
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you have been doing since you graduated.
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