131 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
131 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
From : Aragorn
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To : All
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Subj.: Are You a Bikaholic?
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Date : 25 Jun 92 21:06:53
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Links: 4500 ->
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From: seanodon@gn.ecn.purdue.edu (Aragorn)
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Newsgroups: rec.bicycles
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Subject: Are You a Bikaholic?
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This was posted about a year ago (that's when I saw it anyway). Since
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I haven't seen it in a while, I thought I would repost it. Please
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apologize any errors in spelling and grammar. I erased the original and
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had to retype the article.
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Enjoy!!
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This article is out of the January, 1988 newsletter of the Wheeling (IL)
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Wheelmen (they host the annual Harmon Hundred). This was written by
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Dick Sorensen and is reprinted without permission for your enjoyment and
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reading pleasure. Any additional "tests" for this list may be sent to
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seanodon@gn.ecn.purdue.edu. Now for the test.
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******************
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"Are You An Incurable Bikaholic?" Take This Test!
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"You don't love me anymore!" "I always come second place to your @#$%
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bicycles!" Sound familiar? You're definitely in trouble. You may be
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going overboard on the fresh air and exercise bit. You've gone too far!
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You've probably fallen victim to the insidious malady known as BIKAHOLISM!
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What are they symptoms, you ask? Well based on personal experience, I
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offer the following self-analysis.
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You know you're an incurable bikaholic when ...
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- You find that a strange jargon is working its way into your everyday
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conversation. Words like "derailleur," "Campagnolo," "Biopace,"
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"Kevlar," "Dia Comp," and "Shimano."
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- You have an uncontrollable urge to bring your bike into the house -
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preferably in the living room or the bedroom.
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- You find it amazingly easy to justify the purchase of a third bike -
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this one just for special rides.
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- You plan, and actually look foward to, a two-week bicycling vacation
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trekking across mountainous terrain and setting a goal of 75 - 100
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mils a day, rain or shine!
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- You can actually remember which valve type is Presta and which is
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Schraeder, and are adament about defending your favorite.
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- Your spouse begins to automatically assume that you'll be on a club
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ride every weekend, or worse yet your non-riding spouse begins to
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learn bike jargon.
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- You meticulously care for your bike, while your $10,000 car quietly
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rusts away.
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- You view Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries as times to exchage
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gifts of bicycling components and accessories.
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- You hang around bike shops without really needing anything.
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- You're so naive that you think a "wheel-watcher" is a bike racing fan.
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- You accumulate bike catalogs - and find something new to order with
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each new issue.
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- You easily rationalize replacing perfectly good components, just
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because somthing slightly better or trendier just came out.
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- You never throw away the replaced parts - even worn out tires and tubes.
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- Your eating habits have changed. Things like "gorp," "Gookinade," and
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"carbohydrates" creep into your diet.
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- You plan the year ahead around the dates of TOSRV, GEAR, the LAW
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rally, the Hilly Hundred, the Makleville Death Ride, etc (the list
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grows longer every year).
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- You don't plan any family events ahead until checking the "Monthly
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Meanders" schedule.
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- You begin to regard your job or school as a troublesome nuisance,
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interfering with your quality biking time.
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- You divide your friendships into two groups - those that bike and
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those that don't bike.
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- You talk about Lemond, Induran, Chiapucci, and Bugno as if they were
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close personal friends.
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- You find yourself carrying on a spirited conversation with "Larry,"
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the ever silent riding companion, when viewing the cycling video on
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your wind trainer.
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- Your all-time favorite movies are "Breaking Away" and "American
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Flyers."
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- You talk as if you really understand gear ratios.
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- You'll ride all day in the numbing cold and soaking rain, and then
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complain at home if a draft from an open window blows on you.
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- Your family photo album is becoming filled with bike photos and
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scenery views shot through the spokes. On the other hand, you have not
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taken a candid photo of you spouse or kids for two years.
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- You faithfully log every mile ridden.
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- You regard the severity of a sickness or injury by the length of time
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it takes until you can resume biking.
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- You're beginning to actually enjoy drinking warm water out of a water
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bottle (especially at sag stops, sitting on the cold ground and
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pigging out on bananas.)
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- You have a permanent black grease mark across the calf of your right
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leg.
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- Your biggest goal is to qualify for RAAM (or some other suitably
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difficult race/ride).
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- You would like to wear your colorful skin outfits to work.
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- You belong to more than two bike clubs and/or subscribe to more than
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two bike magazines.
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- You consider not being able to ride on your favorite ride as "the
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ultimate tragedy."
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- You hang on to your favorite biking outfits, like a child's teddy-
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bear, even though they are tattered and torn.
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(From jennifer@twinsun.com)
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- You find your memory has improved - you can remember all the price
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tags in your half dozen bike catalogs down to the last detail without
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much effort.
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- You are more concerned about your favorite bike than anything else
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in anticipation of an earthquake.
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- You find working up a 20% climb more entertaining than gobbling down
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pop corn while watching your favorite TV show.
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So there you have it. How'd you do with the test? You may wonder- how
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do I know these intimate secrets that you thought only you knew. What
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can I say? It takes one to know one.
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******************
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I hope you enjoyed this little excursion.
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Bikaholic, and damn proud of it!
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Aragorn
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--
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***seanodon@ecn.purdue.edu***********************************************
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* Man-in-Black: "You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put *
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* down my sword, and we'll try to kill each other *
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* like civilized people." _The Princess Bride_ *
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