100 lines
6.0 KiB
Plaintext
100 lines
6.0 KiB
Plaintext
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-----=====< SANctuary Text Files >=====-----
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11/24/92
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- The Collegiate Guide to Food Shopping -
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By Havok Halcyon
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For the college student, or the aspiring college student such as
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myself, there is a need to cut costs so that one is able to afford to take
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one's girlfriend out to nice places, buy <cough> clothes, and what-not once
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you are at your school; at least for those of you, who like myself, will be
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given the hefty allowance of $20 a week that is supposed to cover all of
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our expenses. Yeah, sure. Now I can afford to buy a couple bottles of
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Absolute and nuthin' else. Fuckin' yippie. So in an endeavor to combat
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this problem I've written this file which will show you how you can VERY
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SIMPLY, and risk free, get free food and groceries (usually a rather
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sizable part of your weekly budget) on a regular basis without having to
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commit theft, or go scrounging through garbage bins as some other
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manuscripts suggest. I'm sorry, but doesn't anyone else find this kinda
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disgusting? Well anyhow...
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Our place of operations is going to be a supermarket (surprise). Like I
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said, nice and simple. Now while outright stealing is fun and great for
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those of us seeking a rush (we all have done it at some time or another),
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in most places it is not something you wanna do day-in and day-out since ya
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do run the risk of getting caught. After four straight years of
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shoplifting from the same supermarket near campus, that chance starts to
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get awfully high. So what we are going to do is....buy the food.
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When you go to a supermarket, WATCH what they do with the coupons (this
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sounds corny, but please keep reading). Let me use myself as an example.
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Because I was made to get a summer job at King's Supermarkets one summer,
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I'll run you through the typical routine. You get in line and put all your
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food on the belt. I check all the shit out over the scanner and you say,
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"whoops, heh heh, I forgot to give you my coupons." So I say, "asshole"
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under my breath and then I take them. (Supermarkets such as King's are
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good to go to since good service is something that is emphasized by the
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owners and in their ads and shit. Employees are told to NEVER disagree
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with the customer about anything short of outright theft. So you may try
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to find a place like this.) Now there are two different types of coupons,
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manufacturer's and store coupons. The manufacturer's ones are printed by
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the maker of the product and will be kinda colorful and often have no
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expiration date. The store's ones are printed by the store (are usually on
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just cheap, thin, yellow or white newspaper) and you can only use them in
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that chain of stores only, while the manufacturer's ones can be used at
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almost any supermarket.
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Now back to the check-out counter. You hand me a coupon. The
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manufacturer's one I look at and I type the amount in that is to be taken
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off the product; we'll say...$1. You now have $1 taken off of your total
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bill. Notice I didn't even bother to check to see if you bought the
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product or not. This is because you were smart enough to have the stuff at
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least partially packed before you gave me the coupons and maybe even went
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to the register during a busy time so I didn't have time to check. It is
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also a good idea to go to a kid who's the cashier since we generally really
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couldn't give a flying crap if you ARE ripping-off the store or not. Some
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of the older adults may be more picky though. So if you were to give me
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like 20 coupons for $1 you just saved 20 bucks. Who cares what was on them
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or what they really were for. And if you bill only totalled $25 bucks,
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well then there you go, you only pay $5. Be careful not to go to too far
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an extreme. If you give more credit in coupons than food you bought, they
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sometimes have to go find the Oh Holy Key Master to give you your money and
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they may then check what you "bought".
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The store coupons are entered by code or scanned and very often the
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registers are not made to check to see if you bought the item or not. So
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clip out a handful. This really depends on the store. Just watch the
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cashier and see what works.
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Some stores scan the coupons and that sometimes will, and sometimes
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won't make a difference. To check just go through there once with some
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coupons, some that match what you ARE buying and some that don't and see
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what works. Simple.
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This method works better than stealing since you can get a WHOLE lot
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more shit (I dunno. How much can you fit in, say, four shopping carts), it
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is virtually risk free, and you can just tell your mom you need money for
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food and then just pocket the cash for other things.
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-=-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=-
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Ripco ][ - 312.528.5020 SAN Site
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CompuTron - 813.885.5974 SAN Site
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Temple of the Dog - 206.886.2283 SAN Site
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The Works - 617.861.8976 The most Awesome text BBS
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High Voltage - 908.231.0252 A place you can easily reach me (pirate)
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Hanger 18 - 908.813.2738 Home of the BOM Squad
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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- Calvin and Hobbes are My Gods -
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Peter Pumpkinhead was to good.
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Had him nailed to a chunk of wood.
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He died grinning, oh, life to thee.
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Hanging there he looked a lot like you,
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and an awful lot like me.
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- XTC
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