68 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
68 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
From tas@dcc1.UUCP Wed Jun 1 21:52:26 1988
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From: tas@dcc1.UUCP (N. Tasova)
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Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
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Subject: "How to Cook a Berkeley Student" by the wharf rat
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Keywords: rec.humor, rec_humor_cull, chuckle
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Date: 2 Jun 88 02:52:26 GMT
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I was going through my old files and found this jewel that was posted
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about two years ago by the wharf rat.
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In response to the recent spate of rodent-recipes, I offer
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the following as an example of true haut' cuisine:
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How to Cook a Berkeley Student
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Ingredients:
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One large or two small Berkeley Students.
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Ketchup.
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2 large cloves garlic.
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Crisco or other solid vegetable shortening.(Lard may be substituted).
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1 keg cheap beer.
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1 lb. alfalfa sprouts.
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2 lbs. assorted health foods, such as tofu or yogurt.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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First, catch a Berkeley Student. Remove the tail and horns.
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Carefully seperate the large ego and reserve for sauce. Remove any
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pencils, calculators, slide rules, or illegal drugs and discard.
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Clean the Student as you would squid, but do not seperate the tentacles from
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the body. If you have an older Student, such as a Graduate Student in Math ,
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you may wish to tenderize by pounding the Student on a rock with a surfboard
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or other flat heavy object.
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Next, pour 1/2 of the keg of beer into a bath-tub and soak the
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Student in the beer for at least 12 hours. (If your Student belonged
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to a fraternity you may skip this step.) When the Student is sufficiently
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soaked, remove any clothes the Student may be wearing and rub it all over
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with the garlic. Then cover the Student with Crisco, using a slow circular
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motion, and taking care to cover every inch of the Student's body with
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the shortening. If it looks like fun, you may also cover your own body
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with Crisco. Be sure to remove your clothes first, if you do.
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Now post a request for Rogue source to net.general. Be sure
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to ask what "S.O." and "M.O.T.A.S." mean. Post at least 3 copies
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of this to ensure adequate flames for cooking your Student. When the
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flames have died down to a medium inferno, place your Student on top
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of your terminal until it's well tanned and the hair turns bleached blond.
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Be careful not to overcook, or the Berkeley Student may become radical.
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Make a sauce by combining the previously reserved ego, the alfafa sprouts,
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and ketchup to taste using cat(1) (see note). Redirect the output to your
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blender and puree' until smooth. Slice the Berkeley Student as you would any
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turkey, and serve accompanied by the assorted health foods and the remaining
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beer.
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Yum!,Yum!,
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the wharf rat
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note: use this command to make the sauce:
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cat ego sprouts ketchup >blender |puree
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--
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gatech!dcc1!tas
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--
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Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes to {watmath|att}!looking!funny .
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One joke per submission, with descriptive "Subject:" and no form feeds, please!
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Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing.
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