100 lines
3.8 KiB
Standard ML
100 lines
3.8 KiB
Standard ML
COLA GUIDE FOR THE 80'S
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THIS IS A COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE MAJOR COLAS ON THE MARKET MIDWAY THROUGH THE
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80'S. WITH ALL OF THE CHANGES THE COCA COLA COMPANY IS MAKING, THE CUTTING
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COMERCIALS THAT PEPSI IS MAKING, AND THE COME-BACK RC COLA IS TRYING TO MAKE, A
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COOL REFRESHMENT ON A WARM DAY CAN BE VERY CONFUSING.
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THIS IS ONLY A GUIDE OF THE
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COLAS, NOT OTHER SOFT-DRINKS, LIKE
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BIG RED AND SPRITE
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_
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COLA (KO`LE), n. A CARBONATED SOFT DRINK HAVING A SYRUP BASE MADE FROM THE
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DRIED LEAVES OF THE COCA PLANT AND THE SEEDS OF KOLA NUTS, TOGETHER WITH
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SWEETENERS AND OTHER FLAVORINGS.
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I WILL START WITH COCA COLA. THIS COMPANY STARTED WITH A BEVRAGE CALLED COKE,
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WITCH IS BELIEVED TO HAVE ONCE CONTAINED COCAINE. AS THE FIRST 99 YEARS PASSED
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(ENDING IN 1985), COKE KEPT ITS ORIGINAL RECIPE, AND PRODUCED OTHER POPULAR SOFT
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DRINKS:
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COKE-> A SEMI-SWEET DRINK WITH A 'CARBONATION-BITE'.
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AMERICANS, THOUGH, WANTED A SUGAR-FREE DRINK TO KEEP THIER WASTE-LINES TRIM,
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THUS COCA COLA WAS FORCED TO PRODUCE ANOTHER DRINK.
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TAB-> A SUGAR-FREE DIET DRINK PRODUCED TO TASE LIKE COKE, BUT WAS FAR-SWEETER.
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DIET COKE-> A COKE WITH A NUTRA-SWEET REPLACEMENT FOR SUGAR THAT IS ALSO
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SWEETER THAN COKE.
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CAFFEINE FREE DIET COKE-> A DIET COKE WITHOUT CAFFEINE.
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COME EARLY 1985, THOUGH, COCA COLA DECIDED TO CHANGE ITS ORIGINAL RECIPE, AND
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CALL THE DRINK 'NEW COKE'. BUT AFTER MONTHS OF COMPLAINT, COCA COLA ANNOUNCED
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THAT IT WOULD BRING BACK OLD COKE, WITH THESE PRODUCT NAMES:
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COKE CLASSIC-> THE ORIGINAL COKE.
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COKE-> THE NEWER, SWEETER, COKE.
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FINALLY, COKA COLA ALSO DECIDED TO CREARE A NEW COLA THAT IS BASED IN COKE'S
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HISTORY. MANY BAR'S AND TAPS IN THE PAST DECADES HAVE ADDED EITHER CHERRY OR
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VANILA FLAVORS TO ADD FLAVOR TO THE ORIGINAL COLA, BRINGING ABOUT:
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CHERRY COKE-> THE ORIGINAL FLAVOR OF COKE WITH A CHERRY FLAVORING, MY PERSONAL
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FAVORITE, AFTER DRINKING IT FOR ONLY ONE WEEK.
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'HAVE A COKE AND A SMILE'
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NEXT, I WILL DISCUSS PEPSI COLA. PEPSI COLA WAS PUT ON THE MARKET SHORTLY
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AFTER COCA COLA. PEPSI HAS, THOUGH HAS CHANGED ITS RECIPE ABOUT FOUR TIMES
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WHILE OUT ON THE MARKET.
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PEPSI-> A SOFT-DRINK THAT IS NOT AS CARBONATED AS COKA COLA, YET BASICALLY THE
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SAME.
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PEPSI COLA ALSO FACED THE SAME SITUATION COCA COLA DID, AND THEY TO WERE
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FORCED TO PRODUCE DIET DRINKS:
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DIET PEPSI-> A SUGAR-FREE SOFT-DRINK (WITH NUTRA-SWEET). IT IS SWEETER THAN
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PEPSI.
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DIET PEPSI FREE-> A SUGAR FREE/CAFFEINE FREE SOFT-DRINK (ALSO WITH
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NUTRA-SWEET). IT TOO IS SWEETER THAN PEPSI.
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PEPSI FREE-> A CAFFEINE FREE SOFT-DRINK THAT IS SWEETER THAN PEPSI.
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'PEPSI, THE TASTE OF A NEW GENARATION'
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NEITHER COKE NOR PEPSI STARTED WITH INTENTIONS OF BEING SOFT-DRINKS. NO, THEY
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WERE INTENDED AS 'WONDER DRUGS' INSTEAD. THEY WERE SAID TO BE ABLE TO CURE
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ANYTHING, BUT THEY WERE CHANGED TO SOFT-DRINKS, WHERE THEY SOON BECAME RIVALS.
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AFTER THESE TWO COMPANIES RULED THE MARKET, A NEW SOFT DRINK CAME OUT WITH A
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MUCH SWEETER AND LESS CARBONATED TASTE. THIS SOFT DRINK TRIED TO GAIN A PLACE
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ON THE MARKET WITH ONE MAIN PRODUCT INSTEAD OF FOUR TO FIVE OR THEM. THIS DRINK
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GOES THROUGH PHASES OF POPULARITY.
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ROYAL CROWN COLA-> A SWEET, LESS CARBONATED SOFT DRINK, PROBABLY PUT ON THE
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MARKET TO FURTHER CONFUSE US.
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ROYAL CROWN COLA ALSO FACED THE SAME PROBLEM THAT COKE AND PEPSI DID, IT ALSO
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WAS FORCED TO PRODUCE A DIET DRINK, BUT THIERS WAS ALSO SODIUM FREE.
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DIET RITE-> A SUGAR FREE, CAFFEINE FREE, AND SODIUM FREE SOFT DRINK.
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'SOME PEOPLE GO OUT OF THIER WAY FOR AN RC'
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I HOPE THAT THIS GUIDE HAS HELPED SLIGHTLY, IF NOT CONFUSED YOU GREATLY. TAKE
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MY ADVICE AND STICK TO THE ORIGINAL, LESS CONFUSING DRINK:
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WATER-> A TASTELESS, CARBONLESS, AND CALORIELESS DRINK CREATED BEFORE THE HOMO
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SAPIEN.
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--THE PHANTOM
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