textfiles/etext/FICTION/swift-gullivers-728.txt

TRAVELS INTO SEVERAL REMOTE NATIONS OF THE WORLD

BY LEMUEL GULLIVER, FIRST A SURGEON, 
THEN A CAPTAIN OF SEVERAL SHIPS.

LONDON: PRINTED FOR BENJ. MOTTE,
AT THE MIDDLE TEMPLE-GATE IN FLEET-STREET.
M,DCC,XXVI.

A LETTER from Capt. Gulliver, to his Cousin Sympson 

I HOPE you will be ready to own publickly, whenever you shall be called 
to it, that by your great and frequent Urgency you prevailed on me to 
publish a very loose and uncorrect Account of my Travels; with Direction 
to hire some young Gentlemen of either University to put them in Order, 
and correct the Style, as my Cousin Dampier did by my Advice, in his 
Book calledA Voyage round the World. But I do not remember I gave you 
Power to consent that any thing should be omitted, and much less that any 
thing should be inserted: therefore, as to the latter, I do here renounce 
every thing of that Kind; particularly a Paragraph about her Majesty the 
late Queen Anne, of most pious and glorious Memory; although I did 
reverence and esteem her more than any of human Species. But you, or 
your Interpolator, ought to have considered, that as it was not my 
Inclination, so was it not decent to praise any Animal of our Composition 
before my Master Houyhnhnm: And besides the Fact was altogether false; 
for to my Knowledge, being in England during some Part of her Majesty's 
Reign, she did govern by a chief Minister; nay, even by two successively; 
the first whereof was the Lord of Godolphin, and the second the Lord of 
Oxford; so that you have made me say the thing that was not. Likewise, in 
the Account of the Academy of Projectors, and several Passages of my 
Discourse to my Master Houyhnhnm, you have either omitted some 
material Circumstances, or minced or changed them in such a Manner, that 
I do hardly know mine own Work. When I formerly hinted to you 
something of this in a Letter, you were pleased to answer that you were 
afraid of giving Offense; that People in Power were very watchful over the 
Press, and apt not only to interpret, but to punish every thing which looked 
like an Innuendo (as I think you called it.) But pray, how could that which 
I spoke so many Years ago, and at about five Thousand leagues distance, in 
another Reign, be applied to any of the Yahoos who now are said to govern 
the Herd; especially at a time when I little thought on or feared the 
Unhappiness of living under them. Have not I the most reason to complain, 
when I see these very Yahoos carried by Houyhnhnms in a Vehicle, as if 
these were Brutes, and those the rational Creatures? And indeed, to avoid 
so monstrous and detestable a Sight was one principal Motive of my 
Retirement hither. 

Thus much I thought proper to tell you in Relation to yourself, and to the 
Trust I reposed in you. 

I do in the next Place complain of my own great Want of Judgement, in 
being prevailed upon by the Intreaties and false Reasonings of you and 
some others, very much against mine own Opinion, to suffer my Travels to 
be published. Pray bring to your Mind how often I desired you to consider, 
when you insisted on the Motive of publick good; that the Yahoos were a 
species of Animals utterly incapable of Amendment by Precepts or 
Examples: And so it hath proved; for instead of seeing a full Stop put to all 
Abuses and Corruptions, at least in this little Island, as I had Reason to 
expect: Behold, after above six Months Warning, I cannot learn that my 
Book hath produced one single Effect according to mine Intentions: I 
desired you would let me know by a Letter, when Party and Faction were 
extinguished; Judges learned and upright; Pleaders honest and modest, with 
some Tincture of common Sense; and Smithfield blazing with Pyramids of 
Law-Books; the young Nobility's Education entirely changed; the 
Physicians banished; the female Yahoos abounding in Virtue, Honour, 
Truth and good Sense; Courts and Levees of great Ministers thoroughly 
weeded and swept; Wit, Merit and Learning rewarded; all Disgracers of 
the Press in Prose and Verse condemned to eat nothing but their own 
Cotten, and quench their Thirst with their own Ink. These, and a Thousand 
other Reformations, I firmly counted upon by your Encouragement; as 
indeed they were plainly deducible from the Precepts delivered in my 
Book. And, it must be owned that seven Months were a sufficient Time to 
correct every Vice and Folly to which Yahoos are subject, if their Natures 
had been capable of the least Disposition to Virtue or Wisdom: Yet so far 
have you been from answering mine Expectation in any of your Letters; 
that on the contrary you are loading our Carrier every Week with Libels, 
and Keys, and Reflections, and Memoirs, and Second Parts; wherein I see 
myself accused of reflecting upon great States-Folk, of degrading human 
Nature (for so they have still the Confidence to stile it), and of abusing the 
Female Sex. I find likewise that the Writers of those Bundles are not 
agreed among themselves; for some of them will not allow me to be 
Author of my own Travels; and others make me Author of Books to which 
I am wholly a Stranger. 

I find likewise that your Printer hath been so careless as to confound the 
Times, and mistake the Dates of my several Voyages and Returns; neither 
assigning the true Year, or the true Month, or Day of the Month: And I 
hear the original Manuscript is all destroyed, since the Publication of my 
Book. Neither have I any Copy left; however, I have sent you some 
Corrections, which you may insert, if ever there should be a second 
Edition: And yet I cannot stand to them, but shall leave that Matter to my 
judicious and candid Readers, to adjust it as they please. 

I hear some of our Sea-Yahoos find Fault with my Sea-Language, as not 
proper in many Parts, nor now in use. I cannot help it. In my first 
Voyages, while I was young, I was instructed by the oldest Mariners, and 
learned to speak as they did. But I have since found that the Sea-Yahoos are 
apt, like the Land ones, to become new fangled in their Words, which the 
latter change every Year, insomuch as I remember upon each Return to 
mine own Country their old Dialect was so altered that I could hardly 
understand the new. And I observe, when any Yahoo comes from London 
out of Curiosity visit me at mine own House, we neither of us are able to 
deliver our Conceptions in a Manner intelligible to the other. 

If the Censure of Yahoos could any Way affect me, I should have great 
Reason to complain that some of them are so bold as to think my Book of 
Travels a mere Fiction out of mine own brain; and have gone so far as to 
drop Hints, that the Houyhnhnms and Yahoos have no more Existence than 
the Inhabitants of Utopia. 

Indeed I must confess, that as to the People of Lilliput, Brobdingrag (for so 
the Word should have been spelt, and not erroneously Brobdingnag), and 
Laputa; I have never yet heard of any Yahoo so presumptuous as to dispute 
their being, or the Facts I have related concerning them; because the Truth 
immediately strikes every Reader with Conviction. And is there less 
Probability in my Account of the Houyhnhnms or Yahoos, when it is 
manifest as to the latter, there are so many Thousands even in this City, 
who only differ from their Brother Brutes in Houyhnhnmland, because 
they use a Sort of a Jabber, and do not go naked? I wrote for their 
Amendment, and not their Approbation. The united Praise of the whole 
Race would be of less Consequence to me than the neighing of those two 
degenerate Houyhnhnms I keep in my stable; because from these, 
degenerate as they are, I still improve in some Virtues, without any 
Mixture of Vice. 

Do these miserable Animals presume to think that I am so far degenerated 
as to defend my veracity? Yahoo as I am, it is well known through all 
Houyhnhnmland, that by the Instructions and Example of my illustrious 
Master I was able in the Compass of two Years (although I confess with the 
utmost Difficulty) to remove that infernal Habit of Lying, Shuffling, 
Deceiving, and Equivocating, so deeply rooted in the very Souls of all my 
Species, especially the Europeans. 

I have other Complaints to make upon this vexatious Occasion; but I 
forbear troubling myself or you any further. I must freely confess, that 
since my last Return, some Corruptions of my Yahoo Nature have revived 
in me by conversing with a few of your Species, and particularly those of 
mine own Family, by an unavoidable Necessity; else I should never have 
attempted so absurd a Project as that of reforming the Yahoo Race in this 
Kingdom; but I have now done with all visionary Schemes for ever. 

April 2, 1727. 

THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER 

THE AUTHOR of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my antient and 
intimate Friend; there is likewise some Relation between us by the Mother's 
Side. About three Years ago Mr. Gulliver, growing weary of the 
Concourse of curious People coming to him at his House in Redriff, made a 
small purchase of land, with a convenient house, near Newark in 
Nottinghamshire, his native Country; where he now lives retired, yet in 
good Esteem among his Neighbors. 

Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his Father 
dwelt, yet I have heard him say his Family came from Oxfordshire; to 
confirm which, I have observed in the Church-Yard at Banbury, in that 
County, several Tombs and Monuments of the Gullivers. 

Before he quitted Redriff, he left the Custody of the following Papers in 
my Hands, with the Liberty to dispose of them as I should think fit. I have 
carefully perused them three Times. The style is very plain and simple; and 
the only Fault I find is, that the Author, after the Manner of Travelers, is a 
little too circumstantial. There is an Air of Truth apparent through the 
whole; and indeed the Author was so distinguished for his Veracity, that it 
became a Sort of Proverb among his Neighbors at Redriff, when any one 
affirmed a Thing, to say it was as true as if Mr. Gulliver had spoke it. 

By the Advice of several worthy Persons, to whom, with the Author's 
Permission, I communicated these Papers, I now venture to send them into 
the World, hoping they may be at least, for some time, a better 
Entertainment to our young Noblemen than the common Scribbles of 
Politicks and Party. 

This Volume would have been at least twice as large, if I had not made 
bold to strike out innumerable Passages relating to the Winds and Tides, as 
well as to the Variations and Bearings in the several Voyages; together with 
the minute Descriptions of the Management of the Ship in Storms, in the 
Style of Sailors. Likewise the Account of the Longitudes and Latitudes; 
wherein I have Reason to apprehend that Mr. Gulliver may be a little 
dissatisfied. But I was resolved to fit the Work as much as possible to the 
general Capacity of Readers. However, if my own Ignorance in Sea-Affairs 
shall have led me to commit some Mistakes, I alone am answerable for 
them. And if any Traveller hath a Curiosity to see the whole Work at 
large, as it came from the Hand of the Author, I shall be ready to gratify 
him. 

As for any further Particulars relating to the Author, the Reader will 
receive Satisfaction from the first Pages of the Book. 

Richard Sympson. 

PART I: A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT

                           [Plate 1: Lilliput]

CHAPTER I.

The Author gives some Account of himself and Family:  His first 
Inducements to travel.  He is shipwreck'd, and swims for his Life:  Gets 
safe on shoar in the Country of Lilliput:  Is made a Prisoner, and carry'd 
up the Country.

MY FATHER had a small Estate in Nottinghamshire; I was the Third of 
five Sons. He sent me to Emanuel-College in Cambridge, at Fourteen Years 
old, where I resided three Years, and applyed my self close to my Studies: 
But the Charge of maintaining me (although I had a very scanty 
Allowance) being too great for a narrow Fortune; I was bound Apprentice 
to Mr. James Bates, an eminent Surgeon in London, with whom I continued 
four Years; and my Father now and then sending me small Sums of Money, 
I laid them out in learning Navigation, and other parts of the 
Mathematicks, useful to those who intend to travel, as I always believed it 
would be some time or other my Fortune to do. When I left Mr. Bates, I 
went down to my Father; where, by the Assistance of him and my Uncle 
John, and some other Relations, I got Forty Pounds, and a Promise of 
Thirty Pounds a Year to maintain me at Leyden: There I studied Physick 
two Years and seven Months, knowing it would be useful in long Voyages.

Soon after my Return from Leyden, I was recommended, by my good 
Master Mr. Bates, to be Surgeon to the Swallow, Captain Abraham Pannell 
Commander; with whom I continued three Years and a half, making a 
Voyage or two into the Levant, and some other Parts. When I came back, I 
resolved to settle in London, to which Mr. Bates, my Master, encouraged 
me, and by him I was recommended to several Patients. I took Part of a 
small House in the Old Jury; and being advised to alter my Condition, I 
married Mrs. Mary Burton, second Daughter to Mr. Edmund Burton, 
Hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four Hundred Pounds for 
a Portion.

But, my good Master Bates dying in two Years after, and I having few 
Friends, my Business began to fail; for my Conscience would not suffer me 
to imitate the bad Practice of too many among my Brethren. Having 
therefore consulted with my Wife, and some of my Acquaintance, I 
determined to go again to Sea. I was Surgeon successively in two Ships, and 
made several Voyages, for six Years, to the East and West-Indies, by which 
I got some Addition to my Fortune. My Hours of Leisure I spent in reading 
the best Authors, antient and modern, being always provided with a good 
Number of Books ; and when I was ashore, in observing the Manners and 
Dispositions of the People, well as learning their Language, wherein I had 
a great Facility by the Strength of my Memory.

The last of these Voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary of the 
Sea, and intended to stay at home with my Wife and Family. I removed 
from the Old Jury to Fetter-Lane, and from thence to Wapping hoping to 
get business among the sailors; but it would not turn to account. After three 
Years Expectation that things would mend, I accepted an advantageous 
Offer from Captain William Prichard, Master of the Antelope, who was 
making a Voyage to the South-Sea. We set sail from Bristol May 4th, 1699 
and our Voyage at first was very prosperous.

It would not be proper, for some Reasons, to trouble the Reader with the 
Particulars of our Adventures in those Seas: Let it suffice to inform him, 
that in our Passage from thence to the East-Indies, we were driven by a 
violent Storm to the North-west of Van Diemen's Land. By an 
Observation, we found ourselves in the Latitude of 30 Degrees 2 Minutes 
South. Twelve of our Crew were dead by immoderate Labour and ill Food, 
the rest were in a very weak Condition. On the fifth of November, which 
was the beginning of Summer in those Parts, the Weather being very hazy, 
the Seamen spied a Rock, within half a Cable's length of the Ship; but the 
Wind was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and immediately 
split. Six of the Crew, of whom I was one, having let down the Boat into 
the Sea, made a Shift to get clear of the Ship, and the Rock. We rowed by 
my Computation about three Leagues, till we were able to work no longer, 
being already spent with Labour while we were in the Ship. We therefore 
trusted ourselves to the Mercy of the Waves, and in about half an Hour the 
Boat was overset by a sudden Flurry from the North. What became of my 
Companions in the Boat, as well as of those who escaped on the Rock, or 
were left in the Vessel, I cannot tell; but conclude they were all lost. For 
my own Part, I swam as Fortune directed me, and was pushed forward by 
Wind and Tide. I often let my Legs drop, and could feel no Bottom: but 
when I was almost gone, and able to struggle no longer, I found myself 
within my Depth; and by this Time the Storm was much abated. The 
Declivity was so small, that I walked near a Mile before I got to the Shore, 
which I conjectur'd was about eight a-clock in the Evening. I then advanced 
forward near half a Mile, but could not discover any sign of Houses or 
Inhabitants; at least I was in so weak a Condition, that I did not observe 
them. I was extremely tired, and with that, and the Heat of the Weather, 
and about half a Pint of Brandy that I drank as I left the Ship, I found 
myself much inclined to sleep. I lay down on the Grass, which was very 
short and soft, where I slept sounder than ever I remember to have done in 
my Life, and, as I reckoned, above Nine Hours; for when I awakened, it 
was just Day-light. I attempted to rise, but was not able to stir: For as I 
happen'd to lye on my Back, I found my Arms and Legs were strongly 
fastened on each Side to the Ground; and my Hair, which was long and 
thick, tied down in the same Manner. I likewise felt several slender 
Ligatures across my Body, from my Armpits to my Thighs. I could only 
look upwards; the Sun began to grow hot, and the Light offended my Eyes. 
I heard a confused Noise about me, but in the Posture I lay, could see 
nothing except the Sky. In a little time I felt something alive moving on my 
left Leg, which advancing gently forward over my Breast, came almost up 
to my Chin; when bending my Eyes downwards as much as I could, I 
perceived it to be a human Creature not six Inches high, with a Bow and 
Arrow in his hands, and a Quiver at his Back. In the meantime, I felt at 
least Forty more of the same Kind (as I conjectured) following the first. I 
was in the utmost Astonishment, and roared so loud, that they all ran back 
in a Fright; and some of them, as I was afterwards told, were hurt with the 
Falls they got by leaping from my Sides upon the Ground. However, they 
soon returned, and one of them, who ventured so far as to get a full Sight 
of my Face, lifting up his Hands and Eyes by way of Admiration, cried out 
in a shrill but distinct Voice, Hekinah Degul: the others repeated the same 
Words several times, but I then knew not what they meant. I lay all this 
while, as the Reader may believe, in great Uneasiness; At length, struggling 
to get loose, I had the Fortune to break the Strings, and wrench out the 
Pegs that fastened my left Arm to the Ground; for, by lifting it up to my 
Face, I discovered the Methods they had taken to bind me, and at the same 
time, with a violent Pull, which gave me excessive Pain, I a little loosened 
the Strings that tied down my Hair on the left Side, so that I was just able to 
turn my Head about two Inches. But the creatures ran off a second time, 
before I could seize them; Whereupon there was a great Shout in a very 
shrill Accent, and after it ceased, I heard one of them cry aloud, Tolgo 
Phonac; when in an Instant I felt above a Hundred Arrows discharged on 
my left Hand, which pricked me like so many Needles; and besides they 
shot another Flight into the Air, as we do Bombs in Europe, whereof 
many, I suppose, fell on my Body (though I felt them not) and some on my 
Face, which I immediately covered with my left Hand. When this Shower 
of Arrows was over, I fell a groaning with Grief and Pain, and then 
striving again to get loose, they discharged another Volly larger than the 
first, and some of them attempted with Spears to stick me in the Sides; but, 
by good Luck, I had on me a Buff Jerkin, which they could not pierce. I 
thought it the most prudent Method to lie still, and my Design was to 
continue so till Night, when, my left Hand being already loose, I could 
easily free myself: And as for the Inhabitants, I had Reason to believe I 
might be a Match for the greatest Armies they could bring against me, if 
they were all of the same Size with him that I saw. But Fortune disposed 
otherwise of me. When the People observed I was quiet, they discharged no 
more Arrows: But, by the Noise increasing, I knew their Numbers were 
greater; and about four Yards from me, over against my right Ear, I heard 
a Knocking for above an Hour, like People at work; when turning my Head 
that Way, as well as the Pegs and Strings would permit me, I saw a Stage 
erected about a Foot and a half from the Ground, capable of holding four 
of the Inhabitants, with two or three Ladders to mount it: From whence 
one of them, who seemed to be a Person of Quality, made me a long 
Speech, whereof I understood not one Syllable. But I should have 
mentioned, that before the principal Person began his Oration, he cryed out 
three times, Langro Dehul san: (these Words and the former were 
afterwards repeated and explained to me). Whereupon immediately about 
fifty of the Inhabitants came, and cut the Strings that fastened the left side 
of my Head, which gave me the Liberty of turning it to the right, and of 
observing the Person and Gesture of him that was to speak. He appeared to 
be of a middle age, and taller than any of the other three who attended him, 
whereof one was a Page that held up his Train, and seemed to be somewhat 
longer than my middle Finger; the other two stood one on each side to 
support him. He acted every part of an Orator, and I could observe many 
periods of Threatnings, and others of Promises, Pity and Kindness. I 
answered in a few Words, but in the most submissive Manner, lifting up 
my left Hand and both my eyes to the Sun, as calling him for a Witness; 
and being almost famished with Hunger, having not eaten a Morsel for 
some Hours before I left the Ship, I found the Demands of Nature so strong 
upon me, that I could not forbear showing my Impatience (perhaps against 
the strict Rules of Decency) by putting my Finger frequently on my Mouth, 
to signify that I wanted Food. The Hurgo (for so they call a great Lord, as 
I afterwards learned) understood me very well: He descended from the 
Stage, and commanded that several Ladders should be applied to my Sides, 
on which above a Hundred of the Inhabitants mounted, and walked towards 
my Mouth, laden with Baskets full of Meat, which had been provided, and 
sent thither by the King's Orders, upon the first Intelligence he received of 
me. I observed there was the Flesh of several Animals, but could not 
distinguish them by the Taste. There were Shoulders, Legs, and Loins, 
shaped like those of Mutton, and very well dressed, but smaller than the 
Wings of a Lark. I eat them by two or three at a Mouthful, and took three 
Loaves at a time, about the bigness of Musket Bullets. They supplied me as 
fast as they could, shewing a thousand Marks of Wonder and Astonishment 
at my Bulk and Appetite. I then made another Sign that I wanted Drink. 
They found by my eating that a small Quantity would not suffice me, and 
being a most ingenious People, they slung up with great Dexterity one of 
their largest Hogsheads, then rolled it toward my Hand, and beat out the 
Top; I drank it off at a Draught, which I might well do, for it hardly held 
half a Pint, and tasted like a small Wine of Burgundy, but much more 
delicious. They brought me a second Hogshead, which I drank in the same 
Manner, and made Signs for more, but they had none to give me. When I 
had performed these Wonders, they shouted for Joy, and danced upon my 
Breast, repeating several times as they did at first, Hekinah Degul. They 
made me a Sign that I should throw down the two Hogsheads, but first 
warning the People below to stand out of the Way, crying aloud, Borach 
Mivola, and when they saw the Vessels in the Air, there was a universal 
Shout of Hekinah Degul. I confess I was often tempted, while they were 
passing backwards and forwards on my Body, to seize Forty or Fifty of the 
first that came in my Reach, and dash them against the Ground. But the 
Remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might not be the worst 
they could do; and the Promise of Honour I made them, for so I 
interpreted my submissive Behaviour, soon drove out these Imaginations. 
Besides, I now considered myself as bound by the Laws of Hospitality to a 
People who had treated me with so much Expense and Magnificence. 
However, in my Thoughts I could not sufficiently wonder at the Intrepidity 
of these diminutive Mortals, who dare venture to mount and walk upon my 
Body, while one of my Hands was at Liberty, without trembling at the very 
Sight of so prodigious a Creature as I must appear to them. After some 
time, when they observed that I made no more Demands for Meat, there 
appeared before me a Person of high Rank from his Imperial Majesty. His 
Excellency having mounted on the small of my right Leg, advanced 
forwards up to my Face, with about a Dozen of his Retinue; And producing 
his Credentials under the Signet Royal, which he applied close to my Eyes, 
spoke about ten Minutes, without any Signs of Anger, but with a kind of 
determinate Resolution; often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards 
found, was towards the Capital City, about half a Mile distant, whither it 
was agreed by his Majesty in Council that I must be conveyed. I answered 
in few Words, but to no Purpose, and made a Sign with my Hand that was 
loose, putting it to the other (but over his Excellency's Head, for fear of 
hurting him or his Train) and then to my own Head and Body, to signify 
that I desired my Liberty. It appeared that he understood me well enough, 
for he shook his Head by way of Disapprobation , and held his Hand in a 
Posture to show that I must be carried as a Prisoner. However, he made 
other Signs to let me understand that I should have Meat and Drink enough, 
and very good Treatment. Whereupon I once more thought of attempting 
to break my Bonds, but again, when I felt the Smart of their Arrows upon 
my Face and Hands, which were all in Blisters, and many of the Darts still 
sticking in them, and observing likewise that the Number of my Enemies 
encreased, I gave Tokens to let them know that they might do with me what 
they pleased. Upon this the Hurgo and his Train withdrew with much 
Civility and chearful Countenances. Soon after I heard a general Shout, 
with frequent repetitions of the words, Peplom Selan, and I felt great 
Numbers of the People on my Left Side relaxing the Cords to such a 
Degree, that I was able to turn upon my Right, and to ease myself with 
making Water; which I very plentifully did, to the great Astonishment of 
the People, who conjecturing by my Motions what I was going to do, 
immediately opened to the right and left on that Side, to avoid the Torrent 
which fell with such Noise and Violence from me. But before this, they had 
daubed my Face and both my Hands with a sort of Ointment very pleasant 
to the Smell, which in a few Minutes removed all the Smart of their 
Arrows. These Circumstances, added to the Refreshment I had received by 
their Victuals and Drink, which were very nourishing , disposed me to 
sleep. I slept about eight Hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was no 
Wonder, for the Physicians, by the Emperor's Order, had mingled a 
sleeping Potion in the Hogsheads of Wine.

It seems that upon the first Moment I was discovered sleeping on the 
Ground after my Landing, the Emperor had early Notice of it by an 
Express, and determined in Council that I should be tyed in the Manner I 
have related (which was done in the Night while I slept), that plenty of 
Meat and Drink should be sent me, and a Machine prepared to carry me to 
the Capital City.

This Resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and I am 
confident would not be imitated by any Prince in Europe on the like 
Occasion; however, in my Opinion, it was extremely Prudent, as well as 
Generous. For supposing these People had endeavored to kill me with their 
Spears and Arrows while I was asleep, I should certainly have awakened 
with the first Sense of Smart, which might so far have roused my Rage and 
Strength, as to have enabled me to break the Strings wherewith I was tyed; 
after which, as they were not able to make Resistance, so they could expect 
no Mercy.

These People are most excellent Mathematicians, and arrived to great 
perfection in Mechanicks by the Countenance and Encouragement of the 
Emperor, who is a renowned Patron of Learning. This Prince has several 
Machines fixed on Wheels for the Carriage of Trees and other great 
Weights. He often builds his largest Men of War, whereof some are Nine 
Foot long, in the Woods where the Timber grows, and has them carried on 
these Engines three or four Hundred Yards to the sea. Five Hundred 
Carpenters and Engineers were immediately set at work to prepare the 
greatest Engine they had. It was a Frame of Wood raised three Inches from 
the Ground, about seven Foot long and four wide, moving upon twenty-
two Wheels. The Shout I heard was upon the Arrival of this Engine, which 
it seems set out in four Hours after my Landing. It was brought parallel to 
me as I lay. But the principal Difficulty was to raise and place me in this 
Vehicle. Eighty Poles, each of one Foot high, were erected for this 
Purpose, and very strong Cords of the bigness of Pack thread were 
fastened by Hooks to many Bandages, which the Workmen had girt round 
my Neck, my Hands, my Body, and my Legs. Nine Hundred of the 
strongest Men were employed to draw up these Cords by many Pulleys 
fastned on the Poles, and thus, in less than three Hours, I was raised and 
slung into the Engine, and there tyed fast. All this I was told, for while the 
whole Operation was performing, I lay in a profound Sleep, by the Force 
of that soporiferous Medicine infused into my Liquor. Fifteen Hundred of 
the Emperor's largest Horses, each about four Inches and a half high, were 
employed to draw me towards the Metropolis, which, as I said, was half a 
Mile distant.

About four Hours after we began our Journey, I awaked by a very 
ridiculous Accident; for the Carriage being stopt a while to adjust 
something that was out of Order, two or three of the young Natives had the 
Curiosity to see how I looked when I was asleep; they climbed up into the 
Engine, and advancing very softly to my Face, one of them, an Officer in 
the Guards, put the sharp End of his Half-Pike a good way up into my left 
Nostril, which tickled my Nose like a Straw, and made me sneeze violently: 
Whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it was three Weeks before I 
knew the Cause of my awaking so suddenly. We made a long March the 
remaining Part of that Day, and rested at Night with Five Hundred Guards 
on each Side of me, half with Torches, and half with Bows and Arrows, 
ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The next Morning at Sunrise we 
continued our March, and arrived within two Hundred Yards of the City-
Gates about Noon. The Emperor, and all his Court, came out to meet us; 
but his great Officers would by no means suffer his Majesty to endanger 
his Person by mounting on my Body.

At the Place where the Carriage stopt, there stood an antient Temple, 
esteemed to be the largest in the whole Kingdom, which having been 
polluted some Years before by an unnatural Murder, was, according to the 
Zeal of those People, looked on as prophane, and therefore had been 
applied to common Use, and all the Ornaments and Furniture carried away. 
In this Edifice it was determined I should lodge. The great Gate fronting to 
the North was about four feet high, and almost two feet wide, through 
which I could easily creep. On each Side of the Gate was a small Window 
not above six Inches from the Ground: Into that on the Left Side, the 
King's Smiths conveyed fourscore and eleven Chains, like those that hang 
to a Lady's Watch in Europe, and almost as large, which were locked to 
my Left Leg with six and thirty Padlocks. Over against this Temple, on the 
other Side of the great highway, at twenty Foot Distance, there was a 
Turret at least Five Foot high. Here the Emperor ascended with many 
principal Lords of his Court, to have an opportunity of viewing me, as I 
was told, for I could not see them. It was reckoned that above a hundred 
thousand Inhabitants came out of the Town upon the same Errand; and in 
spite of my Guards, I believe there could not be fewer than ten thousand, at 
several Times, who mounted upon my Body by the Help of Ladders. But a 
Proclamation was soon issued to forbid it upon Pain of Death. When the 
Workmen found it was impossible for me to break loose, they cut all the 
Strings that bound me; whereupon I rose up with as melancholy a 
Disposition as ever I had in my Life. But the Noise and Astonishment of 
the People at seeing me rise and walk, are not to be expressed. The Chains 
that held my left Leg were about two Yards long, and gave me not only the 
Liberty of walking backwards and forwards in a Semicircle; but, being 
fixed within four Inches of the Gate, allowed me to creep in, and lie at my 
full Length in the Temple.

CHAPTER II.

The Emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the Nobility, comes to see 
the Author in his Confinement. The Emperor's Person and Habit describ'd. 
Learned Men appointed to teach the Author their Language. He gains 
Favour by his mild Disposition. His Pockets Are searched, and his Sword 
and Pistols taken from him.

WHEN I found myself on my Feet, I looked about me, and must confess I 
never beheld a more entertaining Prospect. The Country round appeared 
like a continued Garden, and the inclosed Fields, which were generally 
Forty Foot square, resembled so many Beds of Flowers. These Fields were 
intermingled with Woods of half a Stang, and the tallest Trees, as I could 
judge, appeared to be seven Foot high. I viewed the Town on my left Hand, 
which looked like the painted Scene of a City in a Theatre.

I had been for some Hours extremely pressed by the Necessities of Nature; 
which was no Wonder, it being almost two Days since I had last 
disburthened myself. I was under great Difficulties between Urgency and 
Shame. The best Expedient I could think on, was to creep into my House, 
which I accordingly did; and shutting the Gate after me, I went as far as the 
Length of my Chain would suffer, and discharged my Body of that uneasy 
Load. But this was the only Time I was ever guilty of so uncleanly an 
Action; for which I cannot but hope the candid Reader will give some 
Allowance, after he has maturely and impartially considered my Case, and 
the Distress I was in. From this Time my constant Practice was, as soon as 
I rose, to perform that Business in open Air, at the full Extent of my 
Chain, and due Care was taken every Morning before Company came, that 
the offensive Matter should be carried off in Wheel-barrows, by two 
Servants appointed for that Purpose. I would not have dwelt so long upon a 
Circumstance, that perhaps at first sight may appear not very momentous, 
if I had not thought it necessary to justify my Character in point of 
Cleanliness to the world; which I am told some of my Maligners have been 
pleased, upon this and other Occasions, to call in question.

When this Adventure was at an end, I came back out of my House, having 
occasion for fresh Air. The Emperor was already descended from the 
Tower, and advancing on Horse-back towards me, which had like to have 
cost him dear; for the Beast, though very well trained, yet wholly unused 
to such a Sight, which appeared as if a Mountain moved before him, he 
reared up on his hinder Feet: But that Prince, who is an excellent Horse-
man, kept his Seat, till his Attendants ran in, and held the Bridle, while his 
Majesty had time to dismount. When he alighted, he surveyed me round 
with great Admiration, but kept without the length of my Chain. He 
ordered his Cooks and Butlers, who were already prepared, to give me 
Victuals and Drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of Vehicles upon 
Wheels till I could reach them. I took these Vehicles, and soon emptied 
them all; twenty of them were filled with Meat, and ten with Liquor; each 
of the former afforded me two or three good Mouthfuls, and I emptied the 
Liquor of ten Vessels, which was contained in earthen Vials, into one 
Vehicle, drinking it off at a Draught; and so I did with the rest. The 
Empress, and young Princes of the Blood, of both Sexes, attended by many 
Ladies, sat at some distance in their Chairs; but upon the Accident that 
happened to the Emperor's Horse, they alighted, and came near his Person, 
which I am now going to describe. He is taller by almost the breadth of my 
Nail, than any of his Court, which alone is enough to strike an Awe into the 
Beholders. His Features are strong and masculine, with an Austrian lip and 
arched Nose, his Complexion olive, his Countenance erect, his Body and 
Limbs well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his Deportment 
majestic. He was then past his Prime, being twenty-eight Years and three 
Quarters old, of which he had reigned about seven, in great Felicity, and 
generally victorious. For the better convenience of beholding him, I lay on 
my Side, so that my Face was parallel to his, and he stood but three Yards 
off: However, I have had him since many Times in my Hand, and therefore 
cannot be deceived in the Description. His Dress was very plain and simple, 
and the Fashion of it between the Asiatick and the European; but he had on 
his Head a light Helmet of Gold, adorned with Jewels, and a Plume on the 
Crest. He held his Sword drawn in his Hand, to defend himself, if I should 
happen to break loose; it was almost three Inches long, the Hilt and 
Scabbard were Gold, enriched with Diamonds. His Voice was shrill, but 
very clear and articulate, and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. 
The Ladies and Courtiers were all most magnificently clad, so that the Spot 
they stood upon seemed to resemble a Petticoat spread on the Ground, 
embroidered with Figures of Gold and Silver. His Imperial Majesty spoke 
often to me, and I returned Answers, but neither of us could understand a 
Syllable. There were several of his Priests and Lawyers present (as I 
conjectured by their Habits) who were commanded to address themselves to 
me, and I spoke to them in as many Languages as I had the least smattering 
of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian, and 
Lingua Franca ; but all to no Purpose. After about two Hours the Court 
retired, and I was left with a strong Guard, to prevent the Impertinence, 
and probably the Malice of the Rabble, who were very impatient to croud 
about me as near as they durst, and some of them had the impudence to 
shoot their Arrows at me as I sate on the Ground by the Door of my 
House, whereof one very narrowly missed my left Eye. But the Colonel 
ordered six of the Ringleaders to be seized, and thought no Punishment so 
proper as to deliver them bound into my Hands, which some of his Soldiers 
accordingly did, pushing them forwards with the But-Ends of their Pikes 
into my Reach; I took them all in my right Hand, put five of them into my 
Coat-Pocket, and as to the sixth, I made a Countenance as if I would eat 
him alive. The poor Man squalled terribly, and the Colonel and his 
Officers were in much Pain, especially when they saw me take out my 
Penknife: But I soon put them out of fear; for, looking mildly and 
immediately cutting the Strings he was bound with, I set him gently on the 
Ground, and away he ran; I treated the rest in the same manner, taking 
them one by one out of my Pocket, and I observed both the Soldiers and 
People were highly obliged at this Mark of my Clemency, which was 
represented very much to my Advantage at Court.

Towards Night I with some Difficulty got into my House, where I lay on 
the Ground, and continued to do so about a Fortnight; during which Time 
the Emperor gave Orders to have a Bed prepared for me. Six hundred 
Beds of the common Measure were brought in Carriages, and worked up in 
my House; a hundred and fifty of their Beds sewn together made up the 
Breadth and Length, and these were four double, which however kept me 
but very indifferently from the Hardness of the Floor, that was of smooth 
Stone. By the same Computation they provided me with Sheets, Blankets, 
and Coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been so long enured to 
Hardships as I.

As the News of my Arrival spread through the Kingdom, it brought 
prodigious Numbers of rich, idle, and curious People to see me; so that the 
Villages were almost emptied, and great Neglect of Tillage and Household 
Affairs must have ensued, if his Imperial Majesty had not provided, by 
several Proclamations and Orders of State, against this Inconveniency. He 
directed that those who had already beheld me should return Home, and not 
presume to come within fifty Yards of my House without Licence from 
Court; whereby the Secretarys of State got considerable Fees.

In the mean time, the Emperor held frequent Councils to debate what 
Course should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured by a 
particular Friend, a Person of great Quality, who was looked upon to be as 
much in the Secret as any, that the Court was under many Difficulties 
concerning me. They apprehended my breaking loose, that my Diet would 
be very expensive, and might cause a Famine. Sometimes they determined 
to starve me, or at least to shoot me in the Face and Hands with poisoned 
Arrows, which would soon dispatch me: But again they considered, that the 
Stench of so large a Carcass might produce a Plague in the Metropolis, and 
probably spread through the whole Kingdom. In the midst of these 
Consultations, several Officers of the army went to the Door of the great 
Council Chamber; and two of them being admitted, gave an account of my 
Behavior to the six Criminals above-mentioned, which made so favorable 
an Impression in the Breast of his Majesty and the whole Board in my 
behalf, that an Imperial Commission was issued out, obliging all the 
Villages nine hundred Yards round the City, to deliver in every Morning 
six Beeves, forty Sheep, and other Victuals for my Sustenance; together 
with a proportionable Quantity of Bread, and Wine, and other Liquors: for 
the due Payment of which, his Majesty gave assignments upon his 
Treasury. For this Prince lives chiefly upon his own Demesnes, seldom, 
except upon great Occasions, raising any Subsidies upon his Subjects, who 
are bound to attend him in his Wars at their own Expense. An 
Establishment was also made of six hundred Persons to be my Domesticks, 
who had Board-Wages allowed for their Maintenance, and Tents built for 
them very conveniently on each side of my Door. It was likewise ordered, 
that three hundred Taylors should make me a Suit of Cloaths after the 
Fashion of the Country: That six of his Majesty's greatest Scholars should 
be employ'd to instruct me in their Language: And, lastly, that the 
Emperor's Horses, and those of the Nobility, and Troops of Guards, should 
be frequently exercised in my sight, to accustom themselves to me. All 
these Orders were duly put in Execution, and in about three Weeks I made 
a great progress in learning their Language; during which time, the 
Emperor frequently honored me with his Visits, and was pleased to assist 
my Masters in teaching me. We began already to converse together in some 
sort; and the first Words I learnt were to express my Desire that he would 
please give me my Liberty, which I every day repeated on my Knees. His 
Answer, as I could apprehend it, was, that this must be a Work of Time, 
not to be thought on without the Advice of Council, and that first I must 
Lumos Kelmin pesso desmar lon Emposo; that is, swear a Peace with him 
and his Kingdom. However, that I should be used with all Kindness; and he 
advised me to acquire, by my Patience and discreet Behaviour, the good 
Opinion of himself and his Subjects. He desired I would not take it ill, if he 
gave Orders to certain proper Officers to search me; for probably I might 
carry about me several Weapons, which must needs be dangerous things, if 
they answered the Bulk of so prodigious a Person. I said, his Majesty 
should be satisfied, for I was ready to strip myself, and turn out my 
Pockets before him. This I delivered part in Words, and part in Signs. He 
replied, that by the Laws of the Kingdom I must be searched by two of his 
Officers; that he knew this could not be done without my Consent and 
Assistance; that he had so good an Opinion of my Generosity and Justice, as 
to trust their Persons in my Hands: That whatever they took from me 
should be returned when I left the Country, or paid for at the Rate which I 
would set upon them. I took up the two Officers in my Hands, put them 
first into my Coat-Pockets, and then into every other Pocket about me, 
except my two Fobs, and another secret Pocket I had no mind should be 
searched, wherein I had some little Necessaries that were of no 
consequence to any but myself. In one of my Fobs there was a silver 
Watch, and in the other a small Quantity of Gold in a Purse. These 
Gentlemen, having Pen Ink, and Paper about them, made an exact 
Inventory of everything they saw; and when they had done, desired I would 
set them down, that they might deliver it to the Emperor. This Inventory I 
afterwards translated into English, and is word for word as follows.

      IMPRIMIS, In the right coat Pocket of the Great Man Mountain (for
      so I interpret the Words quinbus Flestrin) after the strictest
      search, we found only one great Piece of coarse Cloath, large
      enough to be a Foot-Cloth for your Majesty's chief Room of State.
      In the left Pocket we saw a huge Silver Chest, with a Cover of the
      same Metal, which we the Searchers were not able to lift. We
      desired it should be opened, and one of us stepping into it, found
      himself up to the mid Leg in a sort of Dust, some part whereof
      flying up to our Faces, set us both sneezing for several times
      together. In his right Waistcoat-Pocket we found a prodigious
      Bundle of white thin Substances, folded one over another, about
      the Bigness of three Men, tied with a strong cable, and marked
      with black Figures; which we humbly conceive to be Writings, every
      Letter almost half as large as the Palm of our Hands. In the left
      there was a sort of Engine, from the back of which were extended
      twenty long poles, resembling the palisades before your Majesty's
      Court; wherewith we conjecture the Man Mountain combs his Head,
      for we did not always trouble him with Questions, because we found
      it a great Difficulty to make him understand us. In the large
      Pocket on the right side of his middle Cover (so I translate the
      Word Ranfu-Lo, by which they meant my Breeches) we saw a hollow
      Pillar of Iron, about the length of a Man, fastened to a strong
      piece of Timber, larger than the Pillar; and upon one side of the
      Pillar were huge Pieces of Iron sticking out, cut into strange
      Figures, which we know not what to make of. In the left Pocket,
      another Engine of the same kind. In the smaller Pocket on the
      right side, were several round flat Pieces of white and red Metal,
      of different Bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be silver,
      were so large and heavy, that my Comrade and I could hardly lift
      them. In the left Pocket were two black Pillars irregularly
      shaped: we could not, without Difficulty, reach the Top of them as
      we stood at the Bottom of his Pocket. One of them was covered, and
      seemed all of a Piece: but at the upper End of the other, there
      appeared a white round Substance, about twice the bigness of our
      heads. Within each of these was inclosed a prodigious Plate of
      Steel; which, by our Orders, we obliged him to shew us, because we
      apprehended they might be dangerous Engines. He took them out of
      their Cases, and told us, that in his own Country his Practice was
      to shave his Beard with one of these, and to cut his Meat with the
      other. There were two Pockets which we could not enter: These he
      called his Fobs; they were two large Slits cut into the top of his
      middle Cover, but squeez'd close by the pressure of his Belly. Out
      of the right Fob hung a great silver Chain, with a wonderful kind
      of Engine at the bottom. We directed him to draw out whatever was
      fastened to that Chain; which appeared to be a Globe, half Silver,
      and half of some transparent Metal: for on the transparent side we
      saw certain strange Figures circularly drawn, and thought we could
      touch them, till we found our Fingers stopped by that lucid
      Substance. He put this Engine to our Ears, which made an incessant
      Noise like that of a Water-Mill. And we conjecture it is either
      some unknown Animal, or the God that he worships: But we are more
      inclined to the latter  Opinion, because he assured us (if we
      understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly)
      that he seldom did anything without consulting it: he called it
      his Oracle, and said it pointed out the Time for every Action of
      his Life. From the left Fob he took out a Net almost large enough
      for a Fisherman, but contrived to open and shut like a Purse, and
      serve him for the same use: we found therein several massy Pieces
      of yellow Metal, which, if they be real Gold, must be of immense
      Value.

      Having thus, in obedience to your Majesty's Commands, diligently
      searched all his Pockets, we observed a Girdle about his Waist
      made of the Hide of some prodigious Animal; from which, on the
      left side, hung a Sword of the length of five Men; and on the
      right, a Bag or Pouch divided into two Cells, each Cell capable of
      holding three of your Majesty's Subjects. In one of these Cells
      were several Globes or Balls of a most ponderous Metal, about the
      bigness of our Heads, and requiring a strong Hand to lift them:
      the other Cell contained a Heap of certain black Grains, but of no
      great Bulk or Weight, for we could hold above fifty of them in the
      Palms of our Hands.

      This is an exact Inventory of what we found about the Body of the
      Man-Mountain, who used us with great Civility, and due Respect to
      your Majesty's Commission.

      Signed and Sealed on the fourth Day of the eighty ninth Moon of
      your Majesty's auspicious Reign.

      Clefren Frelock, Marsi Frelock.

When this Inventory was read over to the Emperor, he directed me, 
although in very gentle Terms, to deliver up the several Particulars. He 
first called for my Scymiter, which I took out, Scabbard and all. In the 
meantime he ordered three thousand of his choicest Troops (who then 
attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their Bows and Arrows 
just ready to discharge: but I did not observe it, for mine Eyes were wholly 
fixed upon his Majesty. He then desired me to draw my Scymiter, which, 
although it had got some Rust by the Sea-Water, was in most parts 
exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all the Troops gave a Shout 
between Terror and Surprise; for the Sun shone clear, and the Reflection 
dazzled their Eyes as I waved the Scymiter to and fro in my Hand. His 
Majesty, who is a most magnanimous Prince, was less danted than I could 
expect; he ordered me to return it into the Scabbard, and cast it on the 
Ground as gently as I could, about six Foot from the end of my Chain. The 
next thing he demanded was one of the hollow iron pillars, by which he 
meant my Pocket-Pistols. I drew it out, and at his desire, as well as I could, 
expressed to him the Use of it; and charging it only with Powder, which by 
the closeness of my Pouch happened to escape wetting in the Sea (an 
Inconvenience against which all prudent mariners take special Care to 
provide) I first cautioned the Emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it off 
in the Air. The Astonishment here was much greater than at the sight of 
my Scymiter. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck dead; and even 
the Emperor, although he stood his ground, could not recover himself in 
some time. I delivered up both my Pistols in the same Manner as I had 
done my Scymiter, and then my Pouch of Powder and Bullets; begging him 
that the former might be kept from the Fire, for it would kindle with the 
smallest Spark, and blow up his Imperial Palace into the Air. I likewise 
delivered up my Watch, which the Emperor was very curious to see, and 
commanded two of his tallest Yeomen of the Guards to bear it on a Pole 
upon their shoulders, as Draymen in England do a Barrel of Ale. He was 
amazed at the continual Noise it made, and the Motion of the Minute-Hand, 
which he could easily discern; for their Sight is much more acute than 
ours; and asked the Opinions of his learned Men about him, which were 
various and remote, as the Reader may well imagine without my repeating; 
although indeed I could not very perfectly understand them. I then gave up 
my Silver and Copper money, my Purse with nine large Pieces of Gold, 
and some smaller ones; my Knife and Razor, my Comb and Silver Snuff-
Box, my Handkerchief and Journal Book. My Scymiter, Pistols, and Pouch, 
were conveyed in Carriages to his Majesty's Stores; but the rest of my 
Goods were returned me.

I had, as I before observed, one private Pocket which escaped their Search, 
wherein there was a pair of Spectacles (which I sometimes use for the 
weakness of mine Eyes), a Pocket Perspective, and several other little 
Conveniences; which, being of no consequence to the Emperor, I did not 
think myself bound in Honour to discover, and I apprehended they might 
be lost or spoiled if I ventured them out of my Possession.

CHAPTER III.

The Author diverts the Emperor and his Nobility of both Sexes in a very 
uncommon Manner. The Diversions of the Court of Lilliput described. The 
Author has his Liberty granted him upon certain Conditions.

MY GENTLENESS and good Behaviour had gained so far on the Emperor 
and his Court, and indeed upon the Army and People in general, that I 
began to conceive Hopes of getting my Liberty in a short time. I took all 
possible Methods to cultivate this favorable Disposition. The Natives came 
by degrees to be less apprehensive of any Danger from me. I would 
sometimes lie down, and let five or six of them dance on my Hand. And 
last the Boys and Girls would venture to come and play at Hide and Seek in 
my Hair. I had now made good Progress in understanding and speaking 
their Language. The Emperor had a mind one day to entertain me with 
several of the Country Shows, wherein they exceeded all Nations I have 
known, both for Dexterity and Magnificence. I was diverted with none so 
much as that of the Rope-Dancers, performed upon a slender white Thread, 
extended about two Foot and twelve Inches from the Ground. Upon which 
I shall desire liberty, with the Reader's Patience, to enlarge a little.

This Diversion is only practiced by those Persons who are Candidates for 
great Employments, and high Favour, at Court. They are trained in this 
Art from their Youth, and are not always of noble Birth, or liberal 
Education. When a great Office is vacant either by Death or disgrace 
(which often happens) five or six of those Candidates petition the Emperor 
to entertain his Majesty and the Court with a Dance on the Rope, and 
whoever jumps the highest without falling, succeeds in the Office. Very 
often the Chief Ministers themselves are commanded to show their Skill, 
and to convince the Emperor that they have not lost their Faculty. Flimnap, 
the Treasurer, is allowed to cut a Caper on the strait Rope, at least an Inch 
higher than any other Lord in the whole Empire. I have seen him do the 
Summerset several times together upon a Trencher fixed on the Rope, 
which is no thicker than a common packthread in England. My friend 
Reldresal, principal Secretary for private Affairs, is, in my Opinion, if I 
am not partial, the second after the Treasurer; the rest of the great Officers 
are much upon a par.

These Diversions are often attended with fatal Accidents, whereof great 
Numbers are on Record. I my self have seen two or three Candidates break 
a Limb. But the Danger is much greater when the Ministers themselves are 
commanded to shew their Dexterity; for by contending to excel themselves 
and their Fellows, they strain so far, that there is hardly one of them who 
has not received a Fall, and some of them two or three. I was assured that a 
Year or two before my Arrival, Flimnap would have infallibly broken his 
Neck, if one of the King's Cushions, that accidentally lay on the Ground, 
had not weakened the Force of his Fall.

There is likewise another Diversion, which is only shewn before the 
Emperor and Empress, and first Minister, upon particular Occasions. The 
Emperor lays on the Table three fine silken Threads of six Inches long. 
One is Blue, the other Red, and the third Green. These Threads are 
proposed as Prizes for those Persons whom the Emperor has a mind to 
distinguish by a peculiar Mark of his Favor. The Ceremony is performed 
in his Majesty's great Chamber of State, where the Candidates are to 
undergo a Tryal of Dexterity very different from the former, and such as I 
have not observed the least Resemblance of in any other Country of the old 
or the new World. The Emperor holds a Stick in his Hands, both ends 
parallel to the Horizon, while the Candidates, advancing one by one, 
sometimes leap over the Stick, sometimes creep under it backwards and 
forwards several times, according as the Stick is advanced or depressed. 
Sometimes the Emperor holds one end of the Stick, and his first Minister 
the other; sometimes the Minister has it entirely to himself. Whoever 
performs his Part with most Agility, and holds out the longest in leaping 
and creeping, is rewarded with the Blue-colored Silk; the Red is given to 
the next, and the Green to the third, which they all wear girt twice round 
about the middle; and you see few great Persons about this Court who are 
not adorned with one of these Girdles.

The Horses of the Army, and those of the royal Stables, having been daily 
led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very Feet 
without starting. The Riders would leap them over my Hand as I held it on 
the Ground, and one of the Emperor's Huntsmen, upon a large Courser, 
took my Foot, Shoe and all; which was indeed a prodigious Leap. I had the 
good fortune to divert the Emperor one Day after a very extraordinary 
manner. I desired he would order several Sticks of two Foot high, and the 
thickness of an ordinary cane, to be brought me; whereupon his Majesty 
commanded the Master of his Woods to give Directions accordingly; and 
the next Morning six Wood-men arrived with as many Carriages, drawn by 
eight Horses to each. I took nine of these Sticks, and fixing them firmly in 
the Ground in a Quadrangular Figure, two Foot and a half Square, I took 
four other Sticks, and tied them parallel at each Corner, about two feet 
from the Ground; then I fastened my Handkerchief to the nine Sticks that 
stood erect, and extended it on all Sides till it was as tight as the top of a 
Drum; and the four parallel Sticks rising about five Inches higher than the 
Handkerchief served as Ledges on each side. When I had finished my 
Work, I desired the Emperor to let a Troop of his best Horse, twenty four 
in number, come and exercise upon this Plain. His Majesty approved of the 
Proposal, and I took them up one by one in my Hands, ready mounted and 
armed, with the proper Officers to exercise them. As soon as they got into 
order, they divided into two Parties, performed mock Skirmishes, 
discharged blunt Arrows, drew their Swords, fled and pursued, attacked 
and retired, and in short discovered the best Military Discipline I ever 
beheld. The parallel Sticks secured them and their Horses from falling over 
the Stage; and the Emperor was so much delighted, that he ordered this 
Entertainment to be repeated several days, and once was pleased to be lifted 
up and give the Word of Command; and, with great difficulty, persuaded 
even the Empress herself to let me hold her in her close Chair within two 
Yards of the Stage, from whence she was able to take a full View of the 
whole Performance. It was my good fortune that no ill Accident happened 
in these Entertainments, only once a fiery Horse that belonged to one of the 
Captains pawing with his Hoof struck a Hole in my Handkerchief, and his 
Foot slipping, he overthrew his Rider and himself; but I immediately 
relieved them both, and covering the Hole with one Hand, I set down the 
Troop with the other, in the same manner as I took them up. The Horse 
that fell was strained in the left Shoulder, but the Rider got no hurt, and I 
repaired my Handkerchief as well as I could: however I would not trust to 
the Strength of it any more in such dangerous Enterprizes.

About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was entertaining 
the Court with these kind of Feats, there arrived an express to inform his 
Majesty that some of his Subjects riding near the Place where I was first 
taken up, had seen a great black Substance lying on the Ground, very oddly 
shaped, extending its Edges round as wide as his Majesty's Bedchamber, 
and rising up in the middle as high as a Man; that it was no living Creature, 
as they at first apprehended, for it lay on the Grass without Motion, and 
some of them had walked round it several tunes: That by mounting upon 
each other's Shoulders, they had got to the top, which was flat and even, 
and stamping upon it they found it was hollow within; that they humbly 
conceived it might be something belonging to the Man-Mountain, and if his 
Majesty pleased, they would undertake to bring it with only five Horses. I 
presently knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive this 
Intelligence. It seems upon my first reaching the Shore after our 
Shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that before I came to the Place where I 
went to sleep, my Hat, which I had fastned with a String to my Head while 
I was rowing, and had stuck on all the time I was swimming, fell off after I 
came to Land; the String, as I conjecture, breaking by some Accident 
which I never observed, but thought my Hat had been lost at Sea. I 
entreated his Imperial Majesty to give Orders it might be brought to me as 
soon as possible, describing to him the Use and the Nature of it: And the 
next Day the Waggoners arrived with it, but not in a very good condition; 
they had bored two Holes in the Brim, within an Inch and a half of the 
Edge, and fastened two Hooks in the Holes; these Hooks were tyed by a 
long Cord to the Harness, and thus my Hat was dragged along for above 
half an English Mile: but the Ground in that Country being extremely 
smooth and level, it receiv'd less Damage than I expected.

Two Days after this Adventure, the Emperor having ordered that part of 
his Army which quarters in and about his Metropolis to be in a readiness, 
took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner. He desired I 
would stand like a Colossus, with my Legs as far asunder as I conveniently 
could. He then commanded his General (who was an old experienced 
Leader, and a great Patron of mine) to draw up the Troops in close Order, 
and march them under me, the Foot by Twenty-four in a Breast, and the 
Horse by Sixteen, with Drums beating, Colours flying, and Pikes advanced. 
This Body consisted of three thousand Foot, and a thousand Horse. His 
Majesty gave Orders, upon pain of Death, that every Soldier in his March 
should observe the strictest Decency with regard to my Person; which, 
however, could not prevent some of the younger Officers from turning up 
their Eyes as they passed under me. And, to confess the Truth, my 
Breeches were at that time in so ill a Condition, that they afforded some 
Opportunities for Laughter and Admiration.

I had sent so many Memorials and Petitions for my Liberty, that his 
Majesty at length mentioned the Matter, first in the Cabinet, and then in a 
full Council ; where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh Bolgolam, 
who was pleased, without any Provocation, to be my mortal Enemy. But it 
was carried against him by the whole Board, and confirmed by the 
Emperor. That Minister was Galbet, or Admiral of the Realm, very much 
in his Master's confidence, and a Person well versed in Affairs, but of a 
morose and sour Complection. However, he was at length persuaded to 
comply; but prevailed that the Articles and Conditions upon which I should 
be set free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn up by himself. 
These Articles were brought to me by Skyresh Bolgolam in Person, 
attended by two Under-Secretarys, and several Persons of Distinction. 
After they were read, I was demanded to swear to the Performance of 
them; first in the manner of my own Country, and afterwards in the 
method prescribed by their Laws; which was to hold my right Foot in my 
left Hand, to place the middle Finger of my right Hand on the Crown of 
my Head, and my Thumb on the Tip of my right Ear. But because the 
Reader may perhaps be curious to have some Idea of the Style and Manner 
of Expression peculiar to that People, as well as to know the Articles upon 
which I recovered my Liberty, I have made a Translation of the whole 
Instrument word for word, as near as I was able, which I here offer to the 
Publick.

GOLBASTO MOMAREN EVLAME GURDILO SHEFIN MULLY ULLY 
GUE, most Mighty Emperor of Lilliput, Delight and Terror of the 
Universe, whose Dominions extend five thousand Blustrugs (about twelve 
miles in circumference) to the Extremitys of the Globe; Monarch of all 
Monarchs, taller than the Sons of Men; whose Feet press down to the 
Center, and whose Head strikes against the Sun: At whose Nod the Princes 
of the Earth shake their Knees; pleasant as the Spring, comfortable as the 
Summer, fruitful as Autumn, dreadful as Winter. His most sublime Majesty 
proposeth to the Man-Mountain, lately arrived to our Celestial Dominions, 
the following Articles, which by a solemn Oath he shall be obliged to 
perform.

      First, The Man-Mountain shall not depart from our Dominions, without
      our License under our Great Seal.

      2nd, He shall not presume to come into our Metropolis, without our
      express Order; at which time the Inhabitants shall have two hours
      warning to keep within their Doors.

      3rd, The said Man-Mountain shall confine his Walks to our principal
      High Roads, and not offer to walk or lie down in a Meadow or Field of
      Corn.

      4th, As he walks the said Roads, he shall take the utmost care not to
      trample upon the Bodies of any of our loving Subjects, their Horses, or
      Carriages, nor take any of our said Subjects into his Hands, without
      their own Consent.

      5th, If an Express requires extraordinary Dispatch, the Man-Mountain
      shall be obliged to carry in his Pocket the Messenger and Horse a Six
      Days Journey once in every Moon, and return the said Messenger back (if
      so required) safe to our Imperial Presence.

      6th, He shall be our Ally against our enemies in the Island of
      Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their Fleet, which is now
      preparing to invade Us.

      7th, That the said Man-Mountain shall, at his times of leisure, be
      aiding and assisting to our Workmen, in helping to raise certain great
      Stones, towards covering the Wall of the principal Park, and other of
      our Royal Buildings.

      8th, That the said Man-Mountain shall, in two Moons time, deliver in an
      exact Survey of the Circumference of our Dominions by a Computation of
      his own Paces round the Coast.

      Lastly, That upon his solemn Oath to observe all the above Articles,
      the said Man-Mountain shall have a daily Allowance of Meat and Drink
      sufficient for the support of 1728 of our Subjects, with free Access to
      our Royal Person, and other Marks of our Favour. Given at our Palace at
      Belfaborac the twelfth Day of the Ninety-first Moon of our Reign.

I swore and subscribed to these Articles with great Chearfulness and 
Content, although some of them were not so honorable as I could have 
wished; which proceeded wholly from the Malice of Skyresh Bolgolam the 
High Admiral: whereupon my Chains were immediately unlocked, and I 
was at full liberty; the Emperor himself in Person did me the Honour to be 
by at the whole Ceremony. I made my Acknowledgments by prostrating 
myself at his Majesty's Feet: But he commanded me to rise; and after many 
gracious Expressions, which, to avoid the Censure of Vanity, I shall not 
repeat, he added, that he hoped I should prove a useful Servant, and well 
deserve all the Favours he had already conferred upon me, or might do for 
the future.

The Reader may please to observe, that in the last Article for the Recovery 
of my Liberty the Emperor stipulates to allow me a Quantity of Meat and 
Drink sufficient for the support of 1728 Lilliputians. Some time after, 
asking a Friend at Court how they came to fix on that determinate Number; 
he told me that his Majesty's Mathematicians, having taken the Height of 
my body by the help of a Quadrant, and finding it to exceed theirs in the 
Proportion of Twelve to One, they concluded from the Similarity of their 
Bodies, that mine must contain at least 1728 of theirs, and consequently 
would require as much Food as was necessary to support that number of 
Lilliputians. By which the Reader may conceive an Idea of the Ingenuity of 
that People, as well as the prudent and exact Oeconomy of so great a 
Prince.

CHAPTER IV.

Milendo, the Metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the  
Emperor's Palace. A Conversation between the Author and a  Principal 
Secretary, concerning the Affairs of that Empire: The  Author Offers to 
serve the Emperor in his Wars.

The first Request I made after I had obtained my Liberty, was, that I might 
have license to see Mildendo, the Metropolis, which the Emperor easily 
granted me, but with a special Charge to do no hurt either to the 
Inhabitants or their Houses. The People had notice by Proclamation of my 
design to visit the Town. The Wall which encompassed it is two foot and a 
half high, and at least eleven Inches broad, so that a Coach and Horses may 
be driven very safely round it; and it is flanked with strong Towers at ten 
foot distance. I stept over the great Western Gate, and passed very gently, 
and sideling through the two principal Streets, only in my short Waistcoat, 
for fear of damaging the Roofs and Eaves of the Houses with the Skirts of 
my Coat. I walked with the utmost Circumspection, to avoid treading on 
any Stragglers, that might remain in the Streets, although the Orders were 
very strict, that all People should keep in their Houses at their own peril. 
The Garret-windows and Tops of Houses were so crowded with Spectators, 
that I thought in all my Travels I had not seen a more populous Place. The 
City is an exact Square, each Side of the Wall being five hundred foot long. 
The two great Streets, which run cross and divide it into four Quarters, are 
five foot wide. The Lanes and Alleys, which I could not enter, but only 
viewed them as I passed, are from twelve to eighteen Inches. The Town is 
capable of holding five hundred thousand Souls. The Houses are from three 
to five Stories. The Shops and Markets well provided.

The Emperor's Palace is in the Center of the City, where the two great 
Streets meet. It is enclosed by a Wall of two foot high, and twenty foot 
distant from the buildings. I had his Majesty's Permission to step over this 
Wall; and the Space being so wide between that and the Palace, I could 
easily view it on every side. The outward Court is a Square of forty foot, 
and includes two other Courts: in the inmost are the Royal Apartments, 
which I was very desirous to see, but found it extremely difficult; for the 
great Gates, from one Square into another, were but eighteen Inches high 
and seven Inches wide. Now the Buildings of the outer Court were at least 
five foot high, and it was impossible for me to stride over them without 
infinite Damage to the Pile, though the Walls were strongly built of hewn 
Stone, and four Inches thick. At the same time the Emperor had a great 
desire that I should see the Magnificence of his Palace; but this I was not 
able to do till three Days after, which I spent in cutting down with my 
Knife some of the largest Trees in the Royal Park, about an hundred Yards 
distant from the City. Of these Trees I made two Stools, each about three 
foot high, and strong enough to bear my Weight. The People having 
received notice a second time, I went again through the City to the Palace, 
with my two Stools in my Hands. When I came to the side of the outer 
Court, I stood upon one Stool, and took the other in my Hand: This I lifted 
over the Roof, and gently set it down on the Space between the first and 
second Court, which was eight foot wide. I then stept over the Buildings 
very conveniently from one Stool to the other, and drew up the first after 
me with a hooked Stick. By this Contrivance I got into the inmost Court; 
and lying down upon my Side, I applied my Face to the Windows of the 
middle Stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered the most 
splendid Apartments that can be imagined. There I saw the Empress and 
the young Princes, in their several Lodgings, with their chief Attendants 
about them. Her Imperial Majesty was pleased to smile very graciously 
upon me, and gave me out of the Window her Hand to kiss.

But I shall not anticipate the Reader with farther Descriptions of this kind, 
because I reserve them for a greater Work, which is now almost ready for 
the Press, containing a general Description of this Empire, from its first 
Erection, through a long Series of Princes, with a particular Account of 
their Wars and Politicks, Laws, Learning, and Religion: their Plants and 
Animals, their peculiar Manners and Customs, with other Matters very 
curious and useful; my chief design at present being only to relate such 
Events and Transactions as happened to the Publick, or to myself, during a 
Residence of about nine Months in that Empire.

One Morning, about a Fortnight after I had obtained my Liberty, 
Reldresal, Principal Secretary (as they style him) of private Affairs, came 
to my House, attended only by one Servant. He ordered his Coach to wait at 
a distance, and desired I would give him an Hour's Audience; which I 
readily consented to, on account of his Quality, and Personal Merits, as 
well as the many good Offices he had done me during my Sollicitations at 
Court. I offered to lie down, that he might the more conveniently reach my 
Ear; but he chose rather to let me hold him in my hand during our 
Conversation. He began with Compliments on my Liberty; said he might 
pretend to some Merit in it: but, however, added, that if it had not been for 
the present Situation of things at Court, perhaps I might not have obtained 
it so soon. For, said he, as flourishing a Condition as we may appear to be 
in to Foreigners, we labor under two mighty Evils; a violent Faction at 
home, and the Danger of an Invasion by a most potent Enemy from 
abroad. As to the first, you are to understand, that for above seventy 
Moons past there have been two struggling Parties in this Empire, under 
the Names of Tramecksan and Slamecksan, from the high and low Heels on 
their shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is alleged indeed, that 
the high Heels are most agreeable to our ancient Constitution: But however 
this be, his Majesty has determined to make use of only low Heels in the 
Administration of the Government, and all Offices in the Gift of the 
Crown, as you cannot but observe; and particularly, that his Majesty's 
Imperial Heels are lower at least by a Drurr than any of his Court; (Drurr 
is a Measure about the fourteenth Part of an Inch). The Animositys 
between these two Partiy run so high, that they will neither eat nor drink, 
nor talk with each other. We compute the Tramecksan, or High-Heels, to 
exceed us in number; but the Power is wholly on our Side. We apprehend 
his Imperial Highness, the Heir to the Crown, to have some Tendency 
towards the High-Heels; at least we can plainly discover one of his Heels 
higher than the other, which gives him a Hobble in his Gait. Now, in the 
midst of these intestine Disquiets, we are threatened with an Invasion from 
the Island of Blefuscu, which is the other great Empire of the Universe, 
almost as large and powerful as this of his Majesty. For as to what we have 
heard you affirm, that there are other Kingdoms and States in the World 
inhabited by human Creatures as large as yourself, our Philosophers are in 
much doubt, and would rather conjecture that you dropt from the Moon, 
or one of the Stars; because it is certain, that a hundred Mortals of your 
Bulk would, in a short time, destroy all the Fruits and Cattle of his 
Majesty's Dominions. Besides, our Historys of six thousand Moons make no 
mention of any other Regions, than the two great Empires of Lilliput and 
Blefuscu. Which two mighty Powers have, as I was going to tell you, been 
engaged in a most obstinate War for six and thirty Moons past. It began 
upon the following Occasion. It is allowed on all Hands, that the primitive 
way of breaking Eggs, before we eat them, was upon the larger End: But 
his present Majesty's Grand-father, while he was a Boy, going to eat an 
Egg, and breaking it according to the ancient Practice, happened to cut one 
of his Fingers. Whereupon the Emperor his Father published an Edict, 
commanding all his Subjects, upon great Penaltys, to break the smaller End 
of their Eggs. The People so highly resented this Law, that our Historys 
tell us there have been six Rebellions raised on that account; wherein one 
Emperor lost his Life, and another his Crown. These civil Commotions 
were constantly fomented by the Monarchs of Blefuscu; and when they 
were quelled, the Exiles always fled for Refuge to that Empire. It is 
computed, that eleven thousand Persons have, at several times, suffered 
Death, rather than submit to break their Eggs at the smaller End. Many 
hundred large Volumes have been published upon this Controversy: But the 
books of the Big-Endians have been long forbidden, and the whole Party 
rendered incapable by Law of holding Employments. During the Course of 
these Troubles, the Emperors of Blefuscu did frequently expostulate by 
their Ambassadors, accusing us of making a Schism in Religion, by 
offending against a fundamental Doctrine of our great Prophet Lustrog, in 
the fifty-fourth Chapter of the Blundecral (which is their Alcoran.) This, 
however, is thought to be a meer Strain upon the Text: For the Words are 
these: That all true Believers shall break their Eggs at the convenient End: 
and which is the convenient End, seems, in my humble Opinion, to be left 
to every Man's Conscience, or at least in the power of the Chief Magistrate 
to determine. Now the Big-Endian Exiles have found so much Credit in the 
Emperor of Blefuscu's Court, and so much private Assistance and 
Encouragement from their Party here at home, that a bloody War has been 
carried on between the two Empires for six and thirty Moons with various 
Success; during which time we have lost forty Capital Ships, and a much 
greater number of smaller Vessels, together with thirty thousand of our 
best Seamen and Soldiers; and the Damage received by the Enemy is 
reckon'd to be somewhat greater than Ours. However, they have now 
equipped a numerous Fleet, and are just preparing to make a Descent upon 
us; and his Imperial Majesty, placing great Confidence in your Valor and 
Strength, has commanded me to lay this Account of his affairs before you.

I desired the Secretary to present my humble Duty to the Emperor, and to 
let him know, that I thought it would not become Me, who was a 
Foreigner, to interfere with Parties; but I was ready, with the hazard of my 
Life, to defend his Person and State against all Invaders.

CHAPTER V.

The Author by an extraordinary Stratagem prevents an Invasion. A high 
Title of Honour is conferred upon him. Embassadors arrive from the 
Emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for Peace. The Empress's Apartment on fire 
by an Accident;  he Author instrumental I saving the rest of the Palace. 

THE EMPIRE of Blefuscu is an island situated to the North North-East 
side of Lilliput, from whence it is parted only by a Channel of eight 
hundred Yards wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this Notice of an 
intended Invasion, I avoided appearing on that side of the Coast, for fear of 
being discovered by some of the Enemy's Ships, who had received no 
Intelligence of me, all Intercourse between the two Empires having been 
strictly forbidden during the War, upon pain of Death, and an Embargo 
laid by our Emperor upon all Vessels whatsoever. I communicated to his 
Majesty a Project I had formed of seizing the Enemy's whole Fleet:  which, 
as our Scouts assured us, lay at Anchor in the Harbour ready to sail with 
the first fair Wind. I consulted the most experienced Seamen, upon the 
Depth of the Channel, which they had often plummed, who told me, that in 
the middle at High-water it was seventy Glumgluffs deep, which is about 
six Foot of European Measure;  and the rest of it fifty Glumgluffs at most. 
I walked towards the North-East Coast over against Blefuscu;  and lying 
down behind a Hillock, took out my small Pocket Perspective-Glass, and 
viewed the Enemy's Fleet at Anchor, consisting of about fifty Men of War, 
and a great Number of Transports;  I then came back to my House, and 
gave Order (for which I had a Warrant) for a great Quantity of the 
strongest Cable and Bars of Iron. The Cable was about as thick as 
Packthread, and the Bars of the length and size of a Knitting-Needle. I 
trebled the Cable to make it stronger, and for the same reason I twisted 
three of the Iron Bars together, binding the Extremitys into a Hook. 
Having thus fixed fifty Hooks to as many Cables, I went back to the North-
East Coast, and putting off my Coat, Shoes, and Stockings, walked into the 
Sea in my Leathern Jerkin, about half an hour before high Water. I waded 
with what haste I could, and swam in the middle about thirty Yards till I 
felt ground;  I arrived at the Fleet in less than half an hour. The Enemy 
was so frighted when they saw me, that they leaped out of their Ships, and 
swam to shore, where there could not be fewer than thirty thousand Souls. 
I then took my Tackling, and fastning a Hook to a Hole at the Prow of 
each, I tyed all the Cords together at the End. While I was thus employed, 
the Enemy discharged several thousand Arrows, many of which stuck in 
my Hands and Face;  and besides the excessive smart, gave me much 
disturbance in my Work. My greatest Apprehension was for mine Eyes, 
which I should have infallibly lost, if I had not suddenly thought of an 
Expedient. I kept among other little Necessarys a pair of Spectacles in a 
private Pocket, which, as I observed before, had scaped the Emperor's 
Searchers. These I took out and fastned as strongly as I could upon my 
Nose, and thus armed went on boldly with my Work, in spight of the 
Enemy's Arrows, many of which struck against the Glasses of my 
Spectacles, but without any other Effect, further than a little to discompose 
them. I now fastned all the Hooks, and taking the Knot in my Hand, began 
to pull;  but not a Ship would stir, for they were all too fast held by their 
Anchors, so that the bold part of my Enterprise remained. I therefore let 
go the Cord, and leaving the Hooks fixed to the Ships, I resolutely cut with 
my Knife the Cables that fastned the Anchors, receiving above two hundred 
Shots in my Face and Hands;  then I took up the knotted End of the Cables 
to which my Hooks were tyed, and with great ease drew fifty of the 
Enemy's Men-of-War after me. 

The Blefuscudians, who had not the least Imagination of what I intended, 
were at first confounded with Astonishment. They had seen me cut the 
Cables, and thought my Design was only to let the Ships run a-drift or fall 
foul on each other:  but when they perceived the whole Fleet moving in 
Order, and saw me pulling at the End, they set up such a scream of Grief 
and Despair, that it is almost impossible to describe or conceive. When I 
had got out of danger, I stopt a while to pick out the Arrows that stuck in 
my Hands and Face, and rubbed on some of the same Ointment that was 
given me at my first arrival, as I have formerly mentioned. I then took off 
my Spectacles, and waiting about an hour, till the Tide was a little fallen, I 
waded through the middle with my Cargo, and arrived safe at the Royal 
Port of Lilliput 

The Emperor and his whole Court stood on the Shore expecting the Issue 
of this great Adventure. They saw the Ships move forward in a large Half-
Moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my Breast in Water. When 
I advanced to the middle of the Channel, they were yet in more pain, 
because I was under Water to my Neck. The Emperor concluded me to be 
drowned, and that the Enemy's Fleet was approaching in a hostile Manner:  
But he was soon eased of his Fears, for the Channel growing shallower 
every step I made, I came in a short time within hearing, and holding up 
the end of the Cable by which the Fleet was fastned, I cryed in a loud 
Voice, Long live the most puissant Emperor of Lilliput! This great Prince 
received me at my Landing with all possible Encomiums, and created me a 
Nardac upon the spot, which is the highest Title of Honour among them. 

His Majesty desired I would take some other Opportunity of bringing all 
the rest of his Enemy's Ships into his Ports. And so unmeasurable is the 
Ambition of Princes, that he seemed to think of nothing less than reducing 
the whole Empire of Blefuscu into a Province, and governing it by a Vice-
Roy;  of destroying the Big-Endian Exiles, and compelling that People to 
break the smaller end of their Eggs, by which he would remain the sole 
Monarch of the whole World. But I endeavor'd to divert him from this 
Design, by many arguments drawn from the Topicks of Policy as well as 
Justice:  And I plainly protested, that I would never be an Instrument of 
bringing a Free and Brave People into Slavery. And when the Matter was 
debated in Council , the wisest part of the Ministry were of my Opinion. 

This open bold Declaration of mine was so opposite to the Schemes and 
Politicks of his Imperial Majesty, that he could never forgive it;  he 
mentioned it in a very artful Manner at Council, where I was told that 
some of the wisest appeared, at least by their Silence, to be of my Opinion;  
but others, who were my secret Enemies, could not forbear some 
Expressions, which by a side-wind reflected on me. And from this time 
began an intrigue between his Majesty and a Junto of Ministers maliciously 
bent against me, which broke out in less than two Months, and had like to 
have ended in my utter Destruction. Of so little weight are the greatest 
Services to Princes, when put into the Ballance with a refusal to gratify 
their Passions. 

About three Weeks after this Exploit, there arrived a solemn embassy from 
Blefuscu, with humble Offers of a Peace;  which was soon concluded upon 
Conditions very advantageous to our Emperor, wherewith I shall not 
trouble the Reader. There were six Ambassadors, with a Train of about 
five hundred persons, and their Entry was very magnificent, suitable to the 
Grandeur of their Master, and the Importance of their Business. When 
their Treaty was finished, wherein I did them several good Offices by the 
Credit I now had, or at least appeared to have at Court, their Excellencies, 
who were privately told how much I had been their Friend, made me a 
Visit in Form. They began with many Compliments upon my Valor and 
Generosity, invited me to that Kingdom in the Emperor their Master's 
Name, and desired me to show them some Proofs of my prodigious 
Strength, of which they had heard so many Wonders;  wherein I readily 
obliged them, but shall not trouble the Reader with the Particulars. 

When I had for some time entertained their Excellencies, to their infinite 
Satisfaction and Surprize, I desired they would do me the Honour to 
present my most humble Respects to the Emperor their Master, the 
Renown of whose Virtues had so justly filled the whole World with 
Admiration, and whose Royal Person I resolved to attend before I returned 
to my own Country:  accordingly, the next time I had the honour to see our 
Emperor, I desired his general Licence to wait on the Blefuscudian 
Monarch, which he was pleas'd to grant me, as I could plainly perceive, in 
a very cold manner;  but could not guess the Reason, till I had a Whisper 
from a certain Person, that Flimnap and Bolgolam had represented my 
Intercourse with those Ambassadors as a mark of Disaffection, from which 
I am sure my Heart was wholly free. And this was the first time I began to 
conceive some imperfect Idea of Courts and Ministers. 

It is to be observed, that these Ambassadors spoke to me by an Interpreter, 
the Languages of both Empires differing as much from each other as any 
two in Europe, and each Nation priding itself upon the Antiquity, Beauty, 
and Energy of their own Tongues, with an avowed Contempt for that of 
their Neighbour;  yet our Emperor, standing upon the advantage he had got 
by the seizure of their Fleet, obliged them to deliver their Credentials, and 
make their Speech in the Lilliputian Tongue. And it must be confessed, that 
from the great Intercourse of Trade and Commerce between both Realms, 
from the continual Reception of Exiles, which is mutual among them, and 
from the Custom in each Empire to send their young Nobility and richer 
Gentry to the other, in order to polish themselves by seeing the World and 
understanding Men and Manners;  there are few Persons of Distinction, or 
Merchants, or Seamen, who dwell in the Maritime parts, but what can hold 
Conversation both Tongues;  as I found some Weeks after, when I went to 
pay my respects to the Emperor of Blefuscu, which in the midst of great 
Misfortunes, through the Malice of my Enemies, proved a very happy 
Adventure to me, as I shall relate in its proper place. 

The Reader may remember, that when I signed those Articles upon which I 
recovered my Liberty, there were some which I disliked upon account of 
their being too servile, neither could anything but an extreme Necessity 
have forced me to submit. But being now a Nardac, of the highest Rank in 
that Empire, such Offices were looked upon as below my Dignity, and the 
Emperor (to do him Justice) never once mentioned them to me. However, 
it was not long before I had an Opportunity of doing his Majesty, at least, 
as I then thought, a most signal Service. I was alarmed at Midnight with the 
Cries of many hundred People at my Door;  by which being suddenly 
awaked, I was in some kind of Terror. I heard the word Burglum repeated 
incessantly:  several of the Emperor's Court, making their way through the 
Croud, intreated me to come immediately to the Palace, where her 
Imperial Majesty's Apartment was on fire, by the carelessness of a Maid of 
Honour, who fell asleep while she was reading a Romance. I got up in an 
instant;  and Orders being given to clear the way before me, and it being 
likewise a Moon-shine Night, I made a shift to get to the Palace without 
trampling on any of the People. I found they had already applied Ladders 
to the Walls of the Apartment, and were well provided with Buckets, but 
the Water was at some distance. These Buckets were about the size of a 
large Thimble, and the poor People supplied me with them as fast as they 
could;  but the Flame was so violent that they did little good. I might easily 
have stifled it with my Coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for 
haste, and came away only in my Leathern Jerkin. The Case seemed wholly 
desperate and deplorable;  and this magnificent Palace would have 
infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if, by a Presence of Mind, 
unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of an Expedient. I had the 
Evening before drunk plentifully of a most delicious Wine, called 
Glimigrim (the Blefuscudians call it Flunec, but ours is esteemed the better 
sort), which is very diuretick. By the luckiest Chance in the World, I had 
not discharged myself of any part of it. The Heat I had contracted by 
coming very near the Flames, and by labouring to quench them, made the 
Wine begin to operate my Urine;  which I voided in such a Quantity, and 
applied so well to the proper Places, that in three Minutes the Fire was 
wholly extinguished, and the rest of that noble Pile, which had cost so 
many Ages in erecting, preserved from Destruction. 

It was now Day-light, and I returned to my House, without waiting to 
congratulate with the Emperor:  because, although I had done a very 
eminent piece of Service, yet I could not tell how his Majesty might resent 
the manner by which I had performed it:  For, by the fundamental Laws of 
the Realm, it is Capital in any Person, of what Quality soever, to make 
water within the Precincts of the Palace. But I was a little comforted by a 
Message from his Majesty, that he would give Orders to the Grand 
Justiciary for passing my Pardon in form;  which, however, I could not 
obtain. And I was privately assured, that the Empress, conceiving the 
greatest Abhorrence of what I had done, removed to the most distant side 
of the Court, firmly resolved that those Buildings should never be repaired 
for her Use:  and, in the presence of her chief Confidents could not forbear 
vowing Revenge. 

CHAPTER VI.

Of the Inhabitants of Lilliput; their Learning, Laws, and Customs, the 
Manner of educating their Children. The Author's Way of living in that 
Country. His Vindication of a great Lady 

ALTHOUGH I intend to leave the Description of this Empire to a 
particular Treatise, yet in the mean time I am content to gratify the curious 
Reader with some general Ideas. As the common Size of the Natives is 
somewhat under six Inches high, so there is an exact Proportion in all other 
Animals, as well as Plants and Trees: For instance, the tallest Horses and 
Oxen are between four and five Inches in height, the Sheep an Inch and a 
half, more or less: their Geese about the bigness of a Sparrow, and so the 
several Gradations downwards till you come to the smallest, which, to my 
sight, were almost invisible; but Nature had adapted the Eyes of the 
Lilliputians to all Objects proper for their view: They see with great 
exactness, but at no great distance. And to show the sharpness of their Sight 
towards Objects that are near, I have been much pleased with observing a 
Cook pulling a Lark, which was not so large as a common Fly; and a young 
Girl threading an invisible Needle with invisible Silk. Their tallest Trees 
are about seven foot high; I mean some of those in the great Royal Park, 
the Tops whereof I could but just reach with my Fist clenched. The other 
Vegetables are in the same Proportion; but this I leave to the Reader's 
Imagination. 

I shall say but little at present of their Learning, which for many Ages had 
flourished in all its Branches among them; But their manner of Writing is 
very peculiar, being neither from the Left to the Right, like the Europeans; 
nor from the Right to the Left, like the Arabians; nor from up to down, 
like the Chinese; nor from down to up, like the Cascagians; but aslant from 
one Corner of the Paper to the other, like Ladies in England. 

They bury their Dead with their Heads directly downwards, because they 
hold an Opinion, that in eleven thousand Moons they are all to rise again, 
in which Period the Earth (which they conceive to be flat) will turn upside 
down, and by this means they shall, at their Resurrection, be found ready 
standing on their Feet. The Learned among them confess the Absurdity of 
this Doctrine, but the Practice still continues, in compliance to the Vulgar. 

There are some Laws and Customs in this Empire very peculiar; and if 
they were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear Country, I 
should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It is only to be wished 
that they were as well executed. The first I shall mention relates to 
Informers. All Crimes against the State are punished here with the utmost 
severity; but if the Person accused makes his Innocence plainly to appear 
upon his Tryal, the Accuser is immediately put to an ignominious Death; 
and out of his Goods or Lands, the innocent Person is quadruply 
recompensed for the Loss of his Time, for the Danger he underwent, for 
the Hardship of his Imprisonment, and for all the Charges he had been at in 
making his Defence. Or, if that Fund be deficient, it is largely supplied by 
the Crown. The Emperor does also confer on him some publick Mark of 
his Favour, and Proclamation is made of his Innocence through the whole 
City. 

They look upon Fraud as a greater Crime than Theft, and therefore seldom 
fail to punish it with Death; for they alledge, that Care and Vigilance, with 
a very common Understanding, may preserve a Man's Goods from 
Thieves, but Honesty has no fence against superior Cunning; and since it is 
necessary that there should be a perpetual Intercourse of Buying and 
Selling, and dealing upon Credit, where Fraud is permitted and connived 
at, or has no Law to punish it, the honest Dealer is always undone, and the 
Knave gets the advantage. I remember when I was once interceding with 
the King for a Criminal who had wronged his Master of a great Sum of 
Money, which he had received by Order, and ran away with; and 
happening to tell his Majesty, by way of Extenuation, that it was only a 
Breach of Trust; the Emperor thought it monstrous in me to offer, as a 
Defence, the greatest Aggravation of the Crime: and truly I had little to say 
in return, farther than the common Answer, that different Nations had 
different Customs; for, I confess, I was heartily ashamed. 

Although we usually call Reward and Punishment the two Hinges upon 
which all Government turns, yet I could never observe this Maxim to be 
put in practice by any Nation except that of Lilliput. Whoever can there 
bring sufficient Proof that he has strictly observed the Laws of his Country 
for seventy-three Moons, has a claim to certain Privileges, according to his 
Quality and Condition of Life, with a proportionable Sum of Money out of 
a Fund appropriated for that Use: He likewise acquires the Title of Snilpall, 
or Legal, which is added to his Name, but does not descend to his Posterity. 
And these People thought it a prodigious Defect of Policy among us, when 
I told them that our Laws were enforced only by Penalties without any 
mention of Reward. It is upon this account that the Image of Justice, in 
their courts of Judicature, is formed with six Eyes, two before, as many 
behind, and on each side one, to signify Circumspection; with a Bag of 
Gold open in her Right Hand, and a Sword sheathed in her Left, to shew 
she is more disposed to Reward than to punish. 

In chusing Persons for all Employments, they have more regard to good 
Morals than to great Abilities; for, since Government is necessary to 
Mankind, they believe-that the common Size of Human Understandings is 
fitted to some Station or other, and that Providence never intended to make 
the Management of publick Affairs a Mystery, to be comprehended only by 
a few Persons of sublime Genius, of which there seldom are three born in 
an Age: but they suppose Truth, Justice, Temperance, and the like, to be in 
every Man's power; the Practice of which Virtues, assisted by Experience 
and a good Intention, would qualify any Man for the service of his 
Country, except where a Course of Study is required. But they thought the 
want of Moral Virtues was so far from being supplied by superior 
Endowments of the Mind, that Employments could never be put into such 
dangerous Hands as those of Persons so qualifi'd; and at least, that the 
Mistakes committed by Ignorance in a virtuous Disposition, would never be 
of such fatal Consequence to the Publick Weal, as the Practices of a Man 
whose Inclinations led him to be corrupt, and had great Abilities to 
manage, and multiply, and defend his Corruptions. 

In like manner, the Disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a Man 
incapable of holding any Publick Station; for since Kings avow themselves 
to be the Deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think nothing can be 
more absurd than for a Prince to employ such Men as disown the Authority 
under which he acts. 

In relating these and the following Laws, I would only be understood to 
mean the original Institutions, and not the most scandalous Corruptions into 
which these People are fallen by the degenerate Nature of Man. For as to 
that infamous Practice of acquiring great Employments by dancing on the 
Ropes, or Badges of Favour and Distinction by leaping over Sticks and 
creeping under them, the Reader is to observe, that they were first 
introduced by the Grand-father of the Emperor now reigning, and grew to 
the present height by the gradual increase of Party and Faction. 

Ingratitude is among them a Capital Crime, as we read it to have been in 
some other Countries; for they reason thus, that whoever makes ill Returns 
to his Benefactor, must needs be a common Enemy to the rest of Mankind, 
from whom he has received no Obligation, and therefore such a Man is not 
fit to live. 

Their notions relating to the Duties of Parents and Children differ 
extremely from ours. For since the Conjunction of Male and Female is 
founded upon the great Law of Nature, in order to propagate and continue 
the Species, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that Men and Women are 
joined together like other Animals, by the Motives of Concupiscence; and 
that their Tenderness towards their Young proceeds from the like natural 
Principle: for which reason they will never allow, that a Child is under any 
Obligation to his Father for begetting him, or his Mother for bringing him 
into the World; which, considering the Miseries of human Life, was neither 
a Benefit in it self, or intended so by his Parents, whose Thoughts in their 
Love-Encounters were otherwise employ'd. Upon these, and the like 
Reasonings, their Opinion is, that Parents are the last of all others to be 
trusted with the Education of their own Children: and therefore they have 
in every Town publick Nurseries, where all Parents, except Cottagers and 
Labourers, are obliged to send their Infants of both Sexes to be reared and 
educated when they come to the Age of twenty Moons, at which time they 
are supposed to have some Rudiments of Docility. These Schools are of 
several kinds, suited to different Qualities, and to both Sexes. They have 
certain Professors well skilled in preparing Children for such a condition 
of Life as befits the Rank of their Parents, and their own Capacities as well 
as Inclinations. I shall say something of the Male Nurseries, and then of the 
Female. 

The Nurseries for Males of Noble or Eminent Birth are provided with 
Grave and Learned Professors, and their several Deputies. The Clothes and 
Food of the Children are plain and simple. They are bred up in the 
Principles of Honour, Justice, Courage, Modesty, Clemency, Religion, and 
Love of their Country; they are always employed in some Business, except 
in the times of Eating and Sleeping, which are very short, and two Hours 
for Diversions, consisting of bodily Exercises. They are dressed by Men 
till four Years of Age, and then are obliged to dress themselves, although 
their Quality be ever so great; and the Women Attendants, who are Aged 
proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menial Offices. 
They are never suffered to converse with Servants, but go together in small 
or greater Numbers to take their diversions, and always in the presence of 
a Professor, or one of his Deputies; whereby they avoid those early bad 
Impressions of Folly and Vice to which our Children are subject. Their 
Parents are suffered to see them only twice a Year; the visit is to last but an 
hour. They are allowed to kiss the Child at Meeting and Parting; but a 
Professor, who always stands by on those occasions, will not suffer them to 
whisper, or use any fondling Expressions, or bring any Presents of Toys, 
Sweet-meats, and the like. 

The Pension from each Family for the Education and Entertainment of a 
Child, upon failure of due payment, is levyed by the Emperor's Officers. 

The Nurseries for Children of ordinary Gentlemen, Merchants, Traders, 
and Handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same manner; only 
those designed for Trades are put out Apprentices at Eleven years old, 
whereas those of Persons of Quality continue in their exercises till Fifteen, 
which answers to One and Twenty with us: but the Confinement is 
gradually lessened for the last three Years. 

In the Female Nurseries, the young Girls of Quality are educated much like 
the Males, only they are dressed by orderly Servants of their own Sex; but 
always in the presence of a Professor or Deputy, till they come to dress 
themselves, which is at five Years old. And if it be found that these Nurses 
ever presume to entertain the Girls with frightful or foolish Stories, or the 
common Follies practiced by Chamber-Maids among us, they are publickly 
whipped thrice about the City, imprisoned for a Year and banished for Life 
to the most desolate part of the Country. Thus the young Ladies there are 
as much ashamed of being Cowards and Fools as the Men, and despise all 
personal Ornaments beyond Decency and Cleanliness: Neither did I 
perceive any Difference in their Education, made by their Difference of 
Sex, only that the Exercises of the Females were not altogether so robust; 
and that some Rules were given them relating to domestic Life, and a 
smaller Compass of Learning was enjoined them: for their maxim is, that 
among People of Quality a Wife should be always a reasonable and 
agreeable Companion, because she cannot always be young. When the Girls 
are twelve Years old, which among them is the marriageable Age, their 
Parents or Guardians take them home, with great Expressions of Gratitude 
to the Professors, and seldom without Tears of the young Lady and her 
Companions. 

In the Nurseries of Females of the meaner sort, the Children are instructed 
in all kinds of Works proper for their Sex, and their several degrees: 
Those intended for Apprentices, are dismissed at nine Years old, the rest 
are kept to thirteen. 

The meaner Families who have Children at these Nurseries, are obliged, 
besides their annual Pension, which is as low as possible, to return to the 
Steward of the Nursery a small monthly Share of their Gettings, to be a 
Portion for the Child; and therefore all Parents are limited in their 
expenses by the Law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can be more unjust, 
than for People, in subservience to their own Appetites, to bring Children 
into the World and leave the Burthen of supporting them on the Publick. 
As to Persons of Quality, they give Security to appropriate a certain Sum 
for each Child, suitable to their Condition; and these Funds are always 
managed with good Husbandry, and the most exact Justice. 

The Cottagers and Labourers keep their Children at Home, their Business 
being only to till and cultivate the Earth, and therefore their Education is 
of little consequence to the Publick; but the Old and Diseased among them 
are supported by Hospitals: for Begging is a Trade unknown in this 
Kingdom. 

And here it may perhaps divert the curious Reader to give some account of 
my Domestick, and my manner of living in this Country, during a 
Residence of nine Months and thirteen Days. Having a Head mechanically 
turned, and being likewise forced by necessity, I had made for myself a 
Table and Chair convenient enough, out of the largest Trees in the Royal 
Park. Two hundred Sempstresses were employed to make me Shirts, and 
Linnen for my Bed and Table, all of the strongest and coarsest kind they 
could get; which, however, they were forced to quilt together in several 
Folds, for the thickest was some degrees finer than Lawn. Their Linnen is 
usually three Inches wide, and three Foot make a Piece. The Sempstresses 
took my Measure as I lay on the ground, one standing at my Neck, and 
another at my Mid-Leg, with a strong Cord extended, that each held by the 
end, while the third measured the length of the Cord with a Rule an Inch 
long. Then they measured my right Thumb, and desired no more; for by a 
mathematical Computation, that twice round the Thumb is once round the 
Wrist, and so on to the Neck and the Waist, and by the help of my old 
Shirt, which I displayed on the Ground before them for a Pattern, they 
fitted me exactly. Three hundred Taylors were employed in the same 
manner to make me Clothes; but they had another Contrivance for taking 
my Measure. I kneeled down, and they raised a Ladder from the Ground to 
my Neck; upon this Ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a Plum-Line 
from my Collar to the Floor, which just answered the length of my Coat; 
but my Waist and Arms I measured myself. When my Clothes finished, 
which was done in my House (for the largest of theirs would not have been 
able to hold them) they looked like the Patch-Work made by the Ladies in 
England, only that mine were all of a Colour. 

I had three hundred Cooks to dress my Victuals, in little convenient Huts 
built about my House, where they and their Families lived, and prepared 
me two Dishes a-piece. I took up twenty Waiters in my Hand, and placed 
them on the Table; an hundred more attended below on the Ground, some 
with Dishes of Meat, and some with Barrels of Wine, and other Liquors, 
slung on their Shoulders; all which the Waiters above drew up as I wanted, 
in a very ingenious Manner, by certain Cords, as we draw the Bucket up a 
Well in Europe. A Dish of their Meat was a good Mouthful, and a Barrel 
of their Liquor a reasonable Draught. Their Mutton yields to ours, but 
their Beef is excellent. I have had a Sirloin so large, that I have been forced 
to make three Bits of it; but this is rare. My Servants were astonished to see 
me eat it Bones and all, as in our Country we do the Leg of a Lark. Their 
Geese and Turkeys I usually eat at a Mouthful, and I must confess they far 
exceed ours. Of their smaller Fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the 
end of my Knife. 

One day his Imperial Majesty, being informed of my way of living, desired 
that himself and his Royal Consort, with the young Princes of the Blood of 
both Sexes, might have the Happiness (as he was pleased to call it) of dining 
with me. They came accordingly, and I placed 'em upon Chairs of State on 
my Table, just over-against me, with their Guards about them. Flimnap the 
Lord High Treasurer, attended there likewise with his white Staff; and I 
observed he often looked on me with a sour Countenance, which I would 
not seem to regard, but ate more than usual, in honour to my dear 
Country, as well as to fill the Court with Admiration. I have some private 
Reasons to believe, that this visit from his Majesty gave Flimnap an 
Opportunity of doing me ill Offices to his Master. That Minister had 
always been my secret Enemy, though he outwardly caressed me more than 
was usual to the Moroseness of his Nature. He represented to the Emperor 
the low Condition of his Treasury; that he was forced to take up Money at 
great Discount; that Exchequer Bills would not circulate under nine per 
Cent below Par; that in short I had cost his Majesty above a Million and a 
half of Sprugs (their greatest Gold Coin, about the bigness of a Spangle) 
and upon the whole, that it would be advisable in the Emperor to take the 
first fair Occasion of dismissing me. 

I am here obliged to vindicate the Reputation of an excellent lady, who was 
an innocent Sufferer upon my Account. The Treasurer took a fancy to be 
jealous of his Wife, from the Malice of some Evil Tongues, who informed 
him that her Grace had taken a violent Affection for my Person; and the 
Court-Scandal ran for some time, that she once came privately to my 
lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous Falsehood, without 
any Grounds, farther than that her Grace was pleased to treat me with all 
innocent Marks of Freedom and Friendship. I own she came often to my 
House, but always publickly, nor ever without three more in the Coach, 
who were usually her Sister and young Daughter, and some particular 
Acquaintance; but this was common to many other Ladies of the Court. 
And I still appeal to my Servants round, whether they at any time saw a 
Coach at my Door without knowing what Persons were in it. On those 
Occasions, when a Servant had given me notice, my Custom was to go 
immediately to the Door; and, after paying my Respects, to take up the 
Coach and two Horses very carefully in my Hands (for if there were six 
Horses, the Postillion always unharnessed four) and place them on a Table, 
where I had fixed a moveable Rim quite round, of five Inches high, to 
prevent Accidents. And I have often had four Coaches and Horses at once 
on my Table full of Company, while I sate in my Chair, leaning my face 
towards them; and when I was engaged with one Sett, the Coachman would 
gently drive the others round my Table. I have passed many an Afternoon 
very agreeably in these Conversations. But I defy the Treasurer, or his two 
Informers, (I will name them, and let 'em make their best of it) Clustril 
and Drunlo, to prove that any Person ever came to me incognito, except 
the Secretary Reldresal, who was sent by express Command of his Imperial 
Majesty, as I have before related. I should not have dwelt so long upon this 
Particular, if it had not been a Point wherein the Reputation of a great 
Lady is so nearly concerned, to say nothing of my own; though I then had 
the Honour to be a Nardac, which the Treasurer himself is not; for all the 
World knows he is only a Glumglum, a Title inferior by one Degree, as 
that of a Marquiss is to a Duke in England, although I allow he preceded 
me in right of his Post. These false Informations, which I afterwards came 
to the knowledge of, by an Accident not proper to mention, made Flimnap 
the Treasurer shew his Lady for some time an ill Countenance, and me a 
worse; and although he were at last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I 
lost all Credit with him, and found my Interest decline very fast with the 
Emperor himself, who was indeed too much governed by that Favourite. 

CHAPTER VII.

The Author being informed of a Design to accuse him of High-Treason, 
makes his Escape to Blefuscu. His Reception there. 

Before I proceed to give an Account of my leaving this Kingdom, it may 
be proper to inform the Reader of a private Intrigue which had been for 
two Months forming against me. 

I had been hitherto all my Life a Stranger to Courts, for which I was 
unqualified by the meanness of my Condition. I had indeed heard and read 
enough of the Dispositions of great Princes and Ministers; but never 
expected to have found such terrible Effects of them in so remote a 
Country, governed, as I thought, by very different Maxims from those in 
Europe. 

When I was just preparing to pay my Attendance on the Emperor of 
Blefuscu, a considerable Person at Court (to whom I had been very 
serviceable at a time when he lay under the highest Displeasure of his 
Imperial Majesty) came to my House very privately at Night in a close 
Chair, and without sending his Name, desired admittance. The Chair-Men 
were dismissed; I put the Chair, with his Lordship in it, into my Coat-
Pocket: and giving Orders to a trusty Servant to say I was indisposed and 
gone to sleep, I fastened the Door of my House, placed the Chair on the 
Table, according to my usual Custom, and sate down by it. After the 
common Salutations were over, observing his Lordship's Countenance full 
of Concern, and enquiring into the reason, he desired I would hear him 
with patience in a Matter that highly concerned my Honour and my Life. 
His Speech was to the following Effect, for I took Notes of it as soon as he 
left me. 

You are to know, said he, that several Committees of Council have been 
lately called in the most private manner on your account; and it is but two 
Days since his Majesty came to a full Resolution. 

You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam (Galbet, or High Admiral) 
has been your mortal Enemy almost ever since your Arrival: His original 
Reasons I know not, but his Hatred is much increased since your great 
Success against Blefuscu, by which his Glory as Admiral is obscur'd. This 
Lord, in conjunction with Flimnap the High Treasurer, whose Enmity 
against you is notorious on account of his Lady, Limtoc the General, 
Lalcon the Chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand Justiciary, have prepared 
Articles of Impeachment against you, for Treason, and other capital 
Crimes. 

This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own Merits and 
Innocence, that I was going to interrupt; when he entreated me to be silent, 
and thus proceeded. 

Out of Gratitude for the Favours you have done me, I procured 
Information of the whole Proceedings, and a Copy of the Articles, wherein 
I venture my Head for your Service. 

                   Articles of Impeachment against 
               Quinbus Flestrin (the Man-Mountain) 

                            ARTICLE I 

      Whereas, by a Statute made in the Reign of his Imperial Majesty 
      Calin Deffar Plune, it is enacted, That whoever shall make water
      within the Precincts of the Royal Palace, shall be liable to the
      Pains and Penalties of High Treason; Notwithstanding, the said
      Quinbus Flestrin, in open breach of the said Law, under colour of
      extinguishing the Fire kindled in the Apartment of his Majesty's
      most dear Imperial Consort, did maliciously, traitorously, and
      devilishly, by discharge of his Urine, put out the said Fire
      kindled in the said Apartment, lying and being within the
      Precincts of the said Royal Palace, against the Statute in that
      case provided, etc., against the Duty, etc. 

                           ARTICLE II. 

      That the said Quinbus Flestrin having brought the Imperial Fleet
      of Blefuscu into the Royal Port, and being afterwards commanded by
      his Imperial Majesty to seize all the other Ships of the said
      Empire of Blefuscu, and reduce that Empire to a Province, to be
      governed by a Vice-Roy from hence, and to destroy and put to death
      not only all the Big-Endian Exiles, but likewise all the People of
      that Empire, who would not immediately forsake the Big-Endian
      Heresy: He the said Flestrin, like a false Traitor against his
      most Auspicious, Serene, Imperial Majesty, did petition to be
      excused from the said Service upon pretence of unwillingness to
      force the Consciences, or destroy the Liberties and Lives of an
      innocent People. 

                          ARTICLE III. 

      That, whereas certain Embassadors from the Court of Blefuscu, to
      sue for Peace in his Majesty's Court: He, the said Flestrin, did,
      like a false Traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert the said
      Embassadors, although he knew them to be Servants to a Prince who
      was lately an open Enemy to his Imperial Majesty, and in open War
      against his said Majesty. 

                          ARTICLE IV. 

      That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the Duty of a faithful
      subject, is now preparing to make a Voyage to the Court and Empire
      of Blefuscu, for which he had received only verbal Licence from
      his Imperial Majesty; and under colour of the said Licence, doth
      falsely and traitorously intend to take the said Voyage, and
      hereby to aid, comfort, and abet the Emperor of Blefuscu, so late
      an Enemy, and in open war with his Imperial Majesty aforesaid. 

There are some other Articles, but these are the most important, of which I 
have read you an Abstract. 

In the several Debates upon this Impeachment, it must be confessed that his 
Majesty gave many marks of his great Lenity, often urging the Services 
you had done him, and endeavoring to extenuate your Crimes. The 
Treasurer and Admiral insisted that you should be put to the most painful 
and ignominious Death, by setting fire on your House at Night, and the 
General was to attend with twenty Thousand Men armed with poisoned 
Arrows to shoot you on the Face and Hands. Some of your Servants were 
to have private Orders to strew a poisonous Juice on your Shirts, which 
would soon make you tear your own Flesh, and die in the utmost Torture. 
The General came into the same Opinion, so that for a long time there was 
a Majority against you: but his Majesty resolving, if possible, to spare your 
Life, at last brought off the Chamberlain. 

Upon this Incident, Redresal, principal Secretary for private Affairs, who 
always approved himself your true Friend, was commanded by the 
Emperor to deliver his Opinion, which he accordingly did; and therein 
justify'd the good Thoughts you have of him. He allowed your Crimes to 
be great, but that still there was room for Mercy, the most commendable 
Virtue in a Prince, and for which his Majesty was so justly celebrated. He 
said, the Friendship between you and him was so well known to the World, 
that perhaps the most honourable Board might think him partial: However, 
in obedience to the Command he had received, he would freely offer his 
Sentiments. That if his Majesty, in consideration of your Services, and 
pursuant to his own merciful Disposition, would please to spare your Life, 
and only give Order to put out both your Eyes, he humbly conceived that 
by this Expedient, Justice might in some measure be satisfied, and all the 
World would applaud the Lenity of the Emperor, as well as the fair and 
generous Proceedings of those who have the Honour to be his Counsellors. 
That the loss of your Eyes would be no impediment to your bodily 
Strength, by which you might still be useful to his Majesty. That Blindness 
is an addition to Courage, by concealing Dangers from us; that the Fear 
you had for your Eyes was the greatest Difficulty in bringing over the 
Enemy's Fleet, and it would be sufficient for you to see by the Eyes of the 
Ministers, since the greatest Princes do no more. 

This Proposal was received with the utmost Disapprobation by the whole 
Board. Bolgolam, the Admiral, could not preserve his Temper, but rising 
up in Fury said he wondered how the Secretary dared presume to give his 
Opinion for preserving the Life of a Traytor: That the Services you had 
performed, were, by all true Reasons of State, the great Aggravation of 
your Crimes; that you, who were able to extinguish the Fire, by discharge 
of Urine in her Majesty's Apartment (which he mentioned with horror), 
might at another time, raise an Inundation by the same means, to drown the 
whole Palace; and the same Strength which enabled you to bring over the 
Enemy's Fleet, might serve, upon the first Discontent, to carry it back: 
That he had good Reasons to think you were a Big-Endian in your heart; 
and as Treason begins in the Heart, before it appears in Overt-Acts, so he 
accused you as a Traytor on that Account, and therefore insisted you 
should be put to death. 

The Treasurer was of the same Opinion; he shewed to what streights his 
Majesty's Revenue was reduced by the Charge of maintaining you, which 
would soon grow insupportable: That the Secretary's Expedient of putting 
out your Eyes was so far from being a Remedy against this Evil, it would 
probably increase it, as it is manifest from the common Practice of 
blinding some kind of Fowl, after which they fed the faster, and grew 
sooner fat: That his sacred Majesty, and the Council, who are your Judges, 
were in their own Consciences fully convinced of your Guilt, which was a 
sufficient Argument to condemn you to Death, without the formal Proofs 
required by the strict Letter of the Law. 

But his Imperial Majesty, fully determined against Capital Punishment, was 
graciously pleased to say, that since the Council thought the loss of your 
Eyes too easy a Censure, some other may be inflicted hereafter. And your 
Friend the Secretary humbly desiring to be heard again, in answer to what 
the Treasurer had objected concerning the great Charge his Majesty was at 
in maintaining you, said that his Excellency, who had the sole disposal of 
the Emperor's Revenue, might easily provide against that Evil, by 
gradually lessening your Establishment; by which, for want of sufficient 
Food, you would grow weak and faint, and lose your Appetite, and 
consequently decay and consume in a few Months; neither would the Stench 
of your Carcass be then so dangerous, when it should become more than 
half diminished; and immediately upon your Death, five or six Thousand of 
his Majesty's Subjects might, in two or three days, cut your Flesh from 
your Bones, take it away by Cart-loads, and bury it in distant parts to 
prevent Infection, leaving the Skeleton as a Monument of Admiration to 
Posterity. 

Thus by the great Friendship of the Secretary, the whole Affair was 
compromised. It was strictly enjoin'd, that the Project of starving you by 
degrees should be kept a Secret, but the Sentence of putting out your Eyes 
was entered on the Books; none dissenting except Bolgolam the Admiral, 
who, being a Creature of the Empress, was perpetually instigated by her 
Majesty to insist upon your Death, she having borne perpetual Malice 
against you, on account of that infamous and illegal Method you took to 
extinguish the Fire in her Apartment. 

In three Days your Friend the Secretary will be directed to come to your 
House, and read before you the Articles of Impeachment; and then to 
signify the great Lenity and Favour of his Majesty and Council, whereby 
you are only condemned to the loss of your Eyes, which his Majesty does 
not question you will gratefully and humbly submit to; and twenty of his 
Majesty's Surgeons will attend, in order to see the Operation well 
performed, by discharging very sharp-pointed Arrows into the Balls of 
your Eyes, as you lie on the Ground. 

I leave to your Prudence what Measures you will take; and to avoid 
Suspicion, I must immediately return in as private a manner as I came. 

His Lordship did so, and I remained alone, under many Doubts and 
Perplexities of Mind. 

It was a Custom introduced by this Prince and his Ministry (very different, 
as I have been assured, from the Practices of former Times) that after the 
Court had decreed any cruel Execution, either to gratify the Monarch's 
Resentment, or the Malice of a Favourite, the Emperor always made a 
Speech to his whole Council, expressing his great Lenity and Tenderness, 
as Qualities known and confessed by all the World. This Speech was 
immediately published through the Kingdom; nor did anything terrify the 
People so much as those Encomiums on his Majesty's Mercy; because it was 
observed, that the more these Praises were enlarged and insisted on, the 
more inhuman was the Punishment, and the Sufferer more innocent. And 
as to myself, I must confess, having never been designed for a Courtier 
either by my Birth or Education, I was so ill a Judge of Things, that I 
could not discover the Lenity and Favour of this Sentence, but conceived it 
(perhaps erroneously) rather to be rigorous than gentle. I sometimes 
thought of standing my Tryal, for although I could not deny the facts 
alledged in the several Articles, yet I hoped they would admit of some 
Extenuations. But having in my Life perused many State-Tryals, which I 
ever observed to terminate as the Judges thought fit to direct, I durst not 
rely on so dangerous a Decision, in so critical a Juncture, and against such 
powerful Enemies. Once I was strongly bent upon Resistance, for while I 
had Liberty, the whole Strength of that Empire could hardly subdue me, 
and I might easily with Stones pelt the Metropolis to pieces; but I soon 
rejected that Project with Horror, by remembering the Oath I had made to 
the Emperor, the Favours I received from him, and the High Title of 
Nardac he conferred upon Me. Neither had I so soon learned the Gratitude 
of Courtiers, to persuade myself that his Majesty's present Severities 
quitted me of all past Obligations. 

At last I fixed upon a Resolution, for which it is probable I may incur some 
Censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe the preserving of my Eyes, 
and consequently my Liberty, to my own great Rashness and want of 
Experience: because if I had then known the Nature of Princes and 
Ministers, which I have since observed in many other Courts, and their 
Methods of treating Criminals less obnoxious than myself, I should with 
great alacrity and readiness have submitted to so easy a Punishment. But 
hurry'd on by the Precipitancy of Youth, and having his Imperial Majesty's 
Licence to pay my Attendance upon the Emperor of Blefuscu, I took this 
Opportunity, before the three Days were elapsed, to send a Letter to my 
Friend the Secretary, signifying my Resolution of setting out that Morning 
Blefuscu pursuant to the leave I had got; and without waiting for an 
Answer, I went to that side of the Island where our Fleet lay. I seized a 
large Man of War, tyed a Cable to the Prow, and, lifting up the Anchors, I 
stript myself, put my Cloaths (together with my Coverlet, which I brought 
under my Arm) into the Vessel, and drawing it after me between wading 
and swimming, arrived at the Royal Port of Blefuscu, where the People 
had long expected me; they lent me two Guides to direct me to the Capital 
City, which is of the same Name. I held them in my Hands till I came 
within two hundred Yards of the Gate, and desired them to signify my 
Arrival to one of the Secretarys, and let him know, I there waited his 
Majesty's Command. I had an answer in about an Hour, that his Majesty, 
attended by the Royal Family, and great Officers of the Court, was coming 
out to receive me. I advanced a Hundred Yards. The Emperor and his 
Train alighted from their Horses, the Empress and Ladies from their 
Coaches, and I did not perceive they were in any Fright or Concern. I lay 
on the Ground to kiss his Majesty's and the Empress's Hand. I told his 
Majesty that I had come according to my Promise, and with the Licence of 
the Emperor my Master, to have the Honour of seeing so Mighty a 
Monarch, and to offer him any Service in my power, consistent with my 
Duty to my own Prince; not mentioning a word of my Disgrace, because I 
had hitherto no regular Information of it, and might suppose myself wholly 
ignorant of any such Design; neither could I reasonably conceive that the 
Emperor would discover the Secret while I was out of his power: wherein, 
however, it soon appeared I was deceived. 

I shall not trouble the Reader with the particular Account of my Reception 
at this Court, which was suitable to the Generosity of so great a Prince; nor 
of the Difficulties I was in for want of a House and Bed, being forced to lie 
on the Ground, wrapt up in my Coverlet. 

CHAPTER VIII.

The Author, by a lucky Accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu; and, after 
some Difficulties, returns safe to his Native Country. 

THREE DAYS after my Arrival, walking out of Curiosity to the North-
East Coast of the Island, I observed, about half a League off, in the Sea, 
something that looked like a Boat overturned. I pulled off my Shoes and 
Stockings, and wading two or three Hundred Yards, I found the Object to 
approach nearer by force of the Tide; and then plainly saw it to be a real 
Boat, which I supposed might, by some Tempest, have been driven from a 
Ship; whereupon I returned immediately towards the City, and desired his 
Imperial Majesty to lend me twenty of the tallest Vessels he had left after 
the Loss of his Fleet, and three thousand Seamen under the Command of 
the Vice-Admiral. This Fleet sailed round, while I went back the shortest 
way to the Coast where I first discovered the Boat; I found the Tide had 
driven it still nearer. The Seamen were all provided with Cordage, which I 
had beforehand twisted to a sufficient strength. When the Ships came up, I 
stript my self, and waded till I came within an hundred Yards of the Boat, 
after which I was forced to swim till I got up to it. The Seamen threw me 
the end of the Cord, which I fastened to a Hole in the fore-part of the Boat, 
and the other end to a Man of War: But I found all my Labour to little 
purpose; for being out of my depth, I was not able to work. In this 
Necessity, I was forced to swim behind, and push the Boat forwards as 
often as I could, with one of my Hands; and the Tide favouring me, I 
advanced so far, that I could just hold up my Chin and feel the Ground. I 
rested two or three Minutes, and then gave the Boat another Shove, and so 
on till the Sea was no higher than my Arm-pits; and now the most 
laborious part being over, I took out my other Cables, which were stowed 
in one of the Ships, and fastening them first to the Boat, and then to nine of 
the Vessels which attended me; the Wind being favourable, the Sea-men 
towed, and I shoved till we arrived within forty Yards of the Shore; and 
waiting till the Tide was out, I got dry to the Boat, and by the assistance of 
two thousand Men, with Ropes and Engines, I made a shift to turn it on its 
Bottom, and found it was but little damaged. 

I shall not trouble the Reader with the Difficulties I was under by the help 
of certain Paddles, which cost me ten Days making, to get my Boat to the 
Royal Port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse of People appeared 
upon my arrival, full of Wonder at the sight of so prodigious a Vessel. I 
told the Emperor that my good Fortune had thrown this Boat in my way, 
to carry me to some place from whence I might return into my Native 
Country, and begged his Majesty's Orders for getting Materials to fit it up, 
together with his Licence to depart; which, after some kind Expostulations, 
he was pleased to grant. 

I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any Express 
relating to me from our Emperor to the Court of Blefuscu. But I was 
afterwards given privately to understand, that his Imperial Majesty, never 
imagining I had the least notice of his Designs, believed I was only gone to 
Blefuscu in performance of my promise, according to the Licence he had 
given me, which was well known at our Court, and would return in a few 
Days when that Ceremony was ended. But he was at last in pain at my long 
absence; and after consulting with the Treasurer, and the rest of that Cabal, 
a Person of Quality was dispatched with the Copy of the Articles against 
me. This Envoy had Instructions to represent to the Monarch of Blefuscu 
the great Lenity of his Master, who was content to punish me no farther 
than with the loss of mine Eyes; that I had fled from Justice, and if I did 
not return in two Hours, I should be deprived of my Title of Nardac, and 
declared a Traitor. The Envoy further added, that in order to maintain the 
Peace and Amity between both Empires, his Master expected, that his 
Brother of Blefuscu would give Orders to have me sent back to Lilliput, 
bound Hand and Foot, to be punished as a Traitor. 

The Emperor of Blefuscu having taken three Days to consult, returned an 
Answer consisting of many Civilities and Excuses. He said, that as for 
sending me bound, his Brother knew it was impossible; that although I had 
deprived him of his Fleet, yet he owed great Obligations to me for many 
good Offices I had done him in making the Peace. That however both their 
Majesties would soon be made easy; for I had found a prodigious Vessel on 
the Shore, able to carry me on the Sea, which he had given order to fit up 
with my own Assistance and Direction; and he hoped in a few Weeks both 
Empires would be freed from so insupportable an Incumbrance. 

With this Answer the Envoy returned to Lilliput, and the Monarch of 
Blefuscu related to me all that had past, offering me at the same time (but 
under the strictest Confidence) his gracious Protection, if I would continue 
in his Service; wherein although I believed him sincere, yet I resolved 
never more to put any Confidence in Princes or Ministers, where I could 
possibly avoid it; and therefore, with all due Acknowledgments for his 
favourable Intentions, I humbly begged to be excused. I told him, that since 
Fortune, whether good or evil, had thrown a Vessel in my way, I was 
resolved to venture myself in the Ocean, rather than be an occasion of 
Difference between two such mighty Monarchs. Neither did I find the 
Emperor at all displeased; and I discover'd by a certain Accident, that he 
was very glad of my Resolution, and so were most of his Ministers. 

These Considerations moved me to hasten my Departure somewhat sooner 
than I intended; to which the Court, impatient to have me gone, very 
readily contributed. Five Hundred Workmen were employed to make two 
Sails to my Boat, according to my Directions, by quilting thirteen fold of 
their strongest Linnen together. I was at the pains of making Ropes and 
Cables, by twisting ten, twenty or thirty of the thickest and strongest of 
theirs. A great Stone that I happen'd to find, after a long Search, by the 
Sea-shore, served me for an Anchor. I had the Tallow of three hundred 
Cows for greasing my Boat, and other Uses. I was at incredible pains in 
cutting down some of the largest Timber-Trees for Oars and Masts, 
wherein I was, however, much assisted by his Majesty's Ship-Carpenters, 
who helped me in smoothing them, after I had done the rough Work. 

In about a Month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his Majesty's 
Commands, and to take my leave. The Emperor and Royal Family came 
out of the Palace: I lay down on my Face to kiss his Hand, which he very 
graciously gave me; so did the Empress and young Princes of the Blood. 
His Majesty presented me with fifty Purses of two hundred Sprugs a-piece, 
together with his Picture at full length, which I put immediately into one of 
my Gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The Ceremonies at my departure 
were too many to trouble the Reader with at this time. 

I stored the Boat with the Carcases of an hundred Oxen, and three hundred 
Sheep, with Bread and Drink proportionable, and as much Meat ready 
dressed as four Hundred cooks could provide. I took with me six cows and 
two bulls alive, with as many ewes and rams, intending to carry them into 
my own Country, and propagate the breed. And to feed them on board, I 
had a good bundle of hay, and a bag of corn. I would gladly have taken a 
dozen of the Natives, but this was a Thing the Emperor would by no means 
permit; and besides a diligent search into my Pockets, his Majesty engaged 
my Honour not to carry away any of his Subjects, although with their own 
consent and desire. 

Having thus prepared all Things as well as I was able, I set sail on the 
twenty-fourth Day of September 1701, at six in the Morning; and when I 
had gone about four Leagues to the Northward, the Wind being at South-
East, at six in the Evening, I descried a small Island about half a League to 
the North-West. I advanced forward, and cast Anchor on the Lee-side of 
the Island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I then took some Refreshment, 
and went to my rest. I slept well, and I conjecture at least six Hours, for I 
found the Day broke in two Hours after I awaked. It was a clear Night. I 
eat my Breakfast before the Sun was up; and heaving Anchor, the Wind 
being favourable, I steered the same Course that I had done the Day before, 
wherein I was directed by my Pocket-Compass. My Intention was to reach, 
if possible, one of those Islands, which I had reason to believe lay to the 
North-East of Van Diemen's Land. I discovered nothing all that Day; but 
upon the next, about three in the Afternoon, when I had by my 
Computation made twenty-four Leagues from Blefuscu, I descryed a Sail 
steering to the South-East; my Course was due East. I hailed her, but could 
get no Answer; yet I found I gained upon her, for the Wind slackned. I 
made all the sail I could, and in half an hour she spyed me, then hung out 
her Antient, and discharged a Gun. It is not easy to express the Joy I was in 
upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my beloved Country, and 
the dear Pledges I had left in it. The Ship slackned her Sails, and I came up 
with her between five and six in the Evening, September 26; but my Heart 
leapt within me to see her English Colours. I put my Cows and Sheep into 
my Coat-Pockets, and got on board with all my little Cargo of Provisions. 
The Vessel was an English Merchantman, returning from Japan by the 
North and South-Seas; the Captain, Mr. John Biddle of Deptford, a very 
civil Man, and an excellent Sailor. We were now in the Latitude of 30 
Degrees south; there were about fifty Men in the Ship; and here I met an 
old Comrade of mine, one Peter Williams, who gave me a good Character 
to the Captain. This Gentleman treated me with Kindness, and desired I 
would let know what place I came from last, and whither I was bound; 
which I did in few Words, but he thought I was raving, and that the 
Dangers I underwent had disturbed my Head; whereupon I took my black 
Cattle and Sheep out of my Pocket, which, after great Astonishment, 
clearly convinced him of my Veracity. I then shewed him the Gold given 
me by the Emperor of Lilliput, together with his Majesty's Picture at full 
length, and some other Rarities of that Country. I gave him two Purses of 
two hundred Sprugs each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to 
make him a Present of a Cow and a Sheep big with Young. 

I shall not trouble the Reader with a particular Account of this Voyage, 
which was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived in the Downs on 
the 13th of April 1702. I had only one Misfortune, that the Rats on board 
carried away one of my Sheep; I found her Bones in a Hole, picked clean 
from the Flesh. The rest of my Cattle I got safe on Shore, and set them 
grazing in a Bowling-Green at Greenwich, where the Fineness of the Grass 
made them feed very heartily, though I had always feared the contrary: 
neither could I possibly have preserved them in so long a Voyage, if the 
Captain had not allowed me some of his best Bisket, which, rubbed to 
Powder, and mingled with Water, was their constant Food. The short time 
I continued in England, I made considerable Profit by shewing my Cattle to 
many Persons of Quality, and others: and before I began my second 
Voyage, I sold them for six hundred Pounds. Since my last return, I find 
the breed is considerably increased, especially the Sheep; which I hope will 
prove much to the Advantage of the Woollen Manufacture, by the Fineness 
of the Fleeces. 

I stayed but two Months with my Wife and Family; for my insatiable 
Desire of seeing foreign Countries would suffer me to continue no longer. 
I left fifteen hundred Pounds with my Wife, and fixed her in a good House 
at Redriff. My remaining Stock I carried with me, part in Money, and part 
in Goods, in hopes to improve my Fortunes. My eldest Uncle John had left 
me an Estate in Land, near Epping, of about Thirty Pounds a Year; and I 
had a long Lease of the Black-Bull in Fetter-Lane, which yielded me as 
much more; so that I was not in any Danger of leaving my Family upon the 
Parish. My Son Johnny, named so after his Uncle, was at the Grammar 
School, and a towardly Child. My Daughter Betty (who is now well 
married, and has Children) was then at her Needle-work. I took leave of 
my Wife, and Boy and Girl, with Tears on both sides, and went on board 
the Adventure, a Merchant-Ship of three hundred tons, bound for Surat, 
Captain John Nicholas of Liverpool Commander. But my Account of this 
Voyage must be referred to the Second Part of my Travels. 

THE END OF THE FIRST PART.

PART II: A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG

                           [Plate 2: Brobdingnag]

CHAPTER I.

A great Storm described, the Long-Boat sent to fetch Water, the Author 
goes with it to discover the Country. He is left on Shore, is seized by one of 
the Natives, and carried to a Farmer's House. His Reception there, with 
several Accidents that happened there. A Description of the Inhabitants. 

Having been condemned by Nature andFortune to an active and restless 
Life, in two Months after my Return I again left my native Country, and 
took Shipping in the Downs on the 20th Day of June 1702, in the 
Adventure, Capt. John Nicholas, a Cornish Man, Commander, bound for 
Surat. We had a very prosperous Gale till we arrived at the Cape of Good-
hope, where we landed for fresh Water, but discovering a Leak we 
unshipped our Goods and winter'd there; for the Captain falling sick of an 
Ague, we could not leave the Cape till the end of March. We then set sail, 
and had a good Voyage till we passed the Streights of Madagascar; but 
having got Northward of that Island, and to about five Degrees South 
Latitude, the Winds, which in those Seas are observed to blow a constant 
equal Gale between the North and West from the beginning of December to 
the beginning of May, on the 19th of April began to blow with much 
greater Violence, and more Westerly than usual, continuing so for twenty 
Days together, during which time we were driven a little to the East of the 
Molucca Islands, and about three Degrees Northward of the Line, as our 
Captain found by an Observation he took the 2d of May, at which time the 
Wind ceased, and it was a perfect Calm, whereat I was not a little rejoyced. 
But he, being a Man well experienc'd in the Navigation of those Seas, bid 
us all prepare against a Storm, which accordingly happened the Day 
following: For a Southern Wind, called the Southern Monsoon, began to set 
in. 

Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our Sprit-sail, and stood by 
to hand the Fore-sail; but making foul Weather, we look'd the Guns were 
all fast, and handed the Missen. The Ship lay very broad off, so we thought 
it better spooning before the Sea, than trying or hulling. We reeft the Fore-
sail and set him, we hawl'd aft the Fore-sheet; the Helm was hard a 
Weather. The Ship wore bravely. We belay'd the Fore-down-hall; but the 
Sail was split, and we hawl'd down the Yard, and got the Sail into the Ship, 
and unbound all the things clear of it. It was a very fierce Storm; the Sea 
broke strange and dangerous. We hawl'd off upon the Lanniard of the 
Whip-staff, and helped the man at Helm. We would not get down our Top-
mast, but let all stand, because she scudded before the Sea very well, and 
we knew that the Top-mast being aloft, the Ship was the wholesomer, and 
made better way thro' the Sea, seeing we had Sea-Room. When the Storm 
was over, we set Fore-sail and Main-sail, and brought the Ship to. Then we 
set the Missen, Maintop-sail, and the Foretop-sail. Our Course was East 
North-east, the Wind was at South-west. We got the Star-board Tacks 
aboard; we cast off our Weather-braces and Lifts; we set in the Lee-braces, 
and hawl'd forward by the Weather-bowlings, and hawl'd them tight, and 
belayed them, and hawl'd over the Missen Tack to Windward, and kept her 
full and by as near as she could lye. 

During this Storm, which was followed by a strong Wind West South-west, 
we were carried by my Computation about five hundred Leagues to the 
East, so that the oldest Sailor on Board could not tell in what part of the 
World we were. Our Provisions held out well, our Ship was staunch, and 
our Crew all in good Health; but we lay in the utmost Distress for Water. 
We thought it best to hold on the same Course, rather than turn more 
Northerly, which might have brought us to the North-west parts of Great 
Tartary, and into the frozen Sea. 

On the 16th Day of June 1703 a Boy on the Top-mast discovered Land. On 
the 17th we came in full View of a great Island or Continent (for we knew 
not whether) on the South-side whereof was a small Neck of Land jutting 
out into the Sea, and a Creek too shallow to hold a Ship of above one 
hundred Tuns. We cast Anchor within a League of this Creek, and our 
Captain sent a dozen of his Men well armed in the Long Boat, with Vessels 
for Water if any could be found. I desired his leave to go with them, that I 
might see the Country, and make what Discoveries I could. When we came 
to Land we saw no River or Spring, nor any sign of Inhabitants. Our Men 
therefore wander'd on the Shore to find out some fresh Water near the Sea, 
and I walked alone about a mile on the other Side, where I observed the 
Country all barren and rocky. I now began to be weary, and seeing nothing 
to entertain my Curiosity, I returned gently down towards the Creek; and 
the Sea being full in my View, I saw our Men already got into the Boat, 
and rowing for Life to the Ship. I was going to hollow after them, although 
it had been to little purpose, when I observed a huge Creature walking 
after them in the Sea, as fast as he could: He waded not much deeper than 
his Knees, and took prodigious strides: But our Men had the start of him 
half a League, and the Sea thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed rocks, 
the Monster was not able to overtake the Boat. This I was afterwards told, 
for I durst not stay to see the Issue of that Adventure; but ran as fast as I 
could the way I first went; and then climbed up a steep Hill, which gave me 
some Prospect of the Country. I found it fully cultivated; but that which 
first surprized me was the Length of the Grass, which in those Grounds 
that seemed to be kept for hay, was above twenty foot high. 

I fell into a high Road, for so I took it to be, though it served to the 
Inhabitants only as a foot Path through a Field of Barley. Here I walked on 
for some time, but could see little on either Side, it being now near 
Harvest, and the Corn rising at least forty foot. I was an hour walking to 
the end of this Field, which was fenced in with a Hedge of at least one 
hundred and twenty foot high, and the Trees so lofty that I could make no 
Computation of their Altitude. There was a Stile to pass from this Field 
into the next. It had four Steps, and a Stone to cross over when you came to 
the uppermost. It was impossible for me to climb this Stile, because every 
Step was six Foot high, and the upper Stone above twenty. I was 
endeavouring to find some Gap in the Hedge, when I discovered one of the 
Inhabitants in the next Field, advancing towards the Stile, of the same Size 
with him whom I saw in the Sea, pursuing our Boat. He appeared as tall as 
an ordinary Spire-steeple, and took about ten Yards at every Stride, as near 
as I could guess. I was struck with the utmost Fear and Astonishment, and 
ran to hide myself in the Corn, from whence I saw him at the top of the 
Style, looking back into the next Field on the right hand, and heard him 
call in a Voice many degrees louder than a speaking Trumpet; but the 
Noise was so high in the Air, that at first I certainly thought it was thunder. 
Whereupon, seven Monsters like himself came towards him with Reaping-
hooks in their Hands, each Hook about the size of six Scythes. These People 
were not so well clad as the first, whose Servants or Labourers they 
seemed to be: For upon some Words he spoke, they went to reap the Corn 
in the Field where I lay. I kept from them at as great a distance as I could, 
but was forced to move with extreme Difficulty, for the Stalks of the Corn 
were sometimes not above a Foot distant, so that I could hardly squeeze my 
Body betwix them. However, I made a shift to go forward till I came to a 
part of the Field where the Corn had been laid by the Rain and Wind. Here 
it was impossible for me to advance a step; for the Stalks were so 
interwoven that I could not creep thorough, and the Beards of the fallen 
Ears so strong and pointed that they pierced through my Cloaths into my 
Flesh. At the same time I heard the Reapers not above an hundred Yards 
behind me. Being quite dispirited with Toil, and wholly overcome by Grief 
and Despair, I lay down between two Ridges, and heartily wished I might 
there end my Days. I bemoaned my desolate Widow, and Fatherless 
Children. I lamented my own Folly and Wilfulness in attempting a second 
Voyage against the Advice of all my Friends and Relations. In this terrible 
Agitation of Mind I could not forbear thinking of Lilliput, whose 
Inhabitants looked upon me as the greatest Prodigy that ever appeared in 
the World; Where I was able to draw an Imperial Fleet in my Hand, and 
perform those other Actions which will be recorded forever in the 
Chronicles of that Empire, while Posterity shall hardly believe them, 
although attested by Millions. I reflected what a Mortification it must prove 
to me to appear as inconsiderable in this Nation as one single Lilliputian 
would be among us. But this I conceived was to be the least of my 
Misfortunes: For as human Creatures are observed to be more savage and 
cruel in Proportion to their Bulk, what could I expect but to be a Morsel in 
the Mouth of the first among these enormous Barbarians that should 
happen to seize me? Undoubtedly Philosophers are in the right when they 
tell us, that nothing is great or little otherwise than by Comparison. It 
might have pleased Fortune to let the Lilliputians find some Nation, where 
the People were as diminutive with respect to them, as they were to me. 
And who knows but that even this prodigious Race of Mortals might be 
equally overmatched in some distant part of the World, whereof we have 
yet no Discovery? 

Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with these 
Reflections, when one of the Reapers approaching within ten Yards of the 
Ridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the next Step I should be 
squashed to Death under his Foot, or cut in two with his Reaping-hook. 
And therefore when he was again about to move, I screamed as loud as 
Fear could make me. Whereupon the huge Creature trod short, and looking 
round about under him for some time, at last espied me as I lay on the 
Ground. He considered a while with the Caution of one who endeavors to 
lay hold on a small dangerous Animal in such a Manner that it shall not be 
able either to scratch or to bite him, as I myself have sometimes done with 
a Weasel in England. At length he ventured to take me up behind by the 
Middle between his fore Finger and Thumb, and brought me within three 
Yards of his Eyes, that he might behold my Shape more perfectly. I 
guessed his Meaning, and my good Fortune gave me so much Presence of 
Mind, that I resolved not to struggle in the least as he held me in the Air, 
about sixty Foot from the Ground, although he grievously pinched my 
Sides, for fear I should slip through his Fingers. All I ventured was to raise 
my Eyes towards the Sun, and place my Hands together in a supplicating 
Posture, and to speak some Words in an humble melancholy Tone, suitable 
to the Condition I then was in. For I apprehended every moment that he 
would dash me against the Ground, as we usually do any little hateful 
Animal which we have a mind to destroy. But my good Star would have it, 
that he appeared pleased with my Voice and Gestures, and began to look 
upon me as a Curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce articulate 
Words, although he could not understand them. In the mean time I was not 
able to forbear groaning and shedding Tears, and turning my Head towards 
my Sides; letting him know, as well as I could, how cruelly I was hurt by 
the Pressure of his Thumb and Finger. He seemed to apprehend my 
Meaning; for, lifting up the Lappet of his Coat, he put me gently into it, 
and immediately ran along with me to his Master, who was a substantial 
Farmer, and the same Person I had first seen in the Field. 

The Farmer having (as I supposed by their talk) received such an Account 
of me as his Servant could give him, took a piece of a small Straw, about 
the size of a walking Staff, and therewith lifted up the Lappets of my Coat; 
which it seems he thought to be some kind of Covering that Nature had 
given me. He blew my Hairs aside to take a better View of my Face. He 
called his Hinds about him, and asked them (as I afterwards learned) 
whether they had ever seen in the Fields any little Creature that resembled 
me? He then placed me softly on the Ground upon all four, but I got 
immediately up, and walked slowly backwards and forwards, to let those 
People see I had no Intent to run away. They all sat down in a Circle about 
me, the better to observe my motions. I pulled off my Hat, and made a low 
Bow towards the Farmer. I fell on my Knees, and lifted up my Hands and 
Eyes, and spoke several Words as loud as I could: I took a Purse of Gold 
out of my Pocket, and humbly presented it to him. He received it on the 
Palm of his Hand, then applied it close to his Eye, to see what it was, and 
afterwards turned it several times with the Point of a Pin (which he took 
out of his Sleeve), but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a Sign 
that he should place his Hand on the Ground. I took the Purse, and opening 
it, poured all the Gold into his Palm. There were six Spanish Pieces of four 
Pistoles each, beside twenty or thirty smaller Coins. I saw him wet the Tip 
of his little Finger upon his Tongue, and take up one of my largest Pieces, 
and then another, but he seemed to be wholly ignorant what they were. He 
made me a Sign to put them again into my Purse, and the Purse again into 
my Pocket, which after offering to him several times, I thought it best to 
do. 

The Farmer by this time was convinced I must be a rational Creature. He 
spoke often to me, but the Sound of his Voice pierced my Ears like that of 
a Water-Mill, yet his Words were articulate enough. I answered as loud as 
I could, in several Languages, and he often laid his Ear within two Yards 
of me, but all in vain, for we were wholly unintelligible to each other. He 
then sent his Servants to their Work, and taking his Handkerchief out of his 
Pocket, he doubled and spread it on his left Hand, which he placed flat on 
the Ground, with the Palm upwards, making me a Sign to step into it, as I 
could easily do, for it was not above a Foot in thickness. I thought it my 
part to obey, and for fear of falling, laid myself at Length upon the 
Handkerchief, with the Remainder of which he lapped me up to the Head 
for further Security, and in this manner carried me home to his House. 
There he called his Wife, and shewed me to her; but she screamed and ran 
back, as Women in England do at the Sight of a Toad or a Spider. 
However, when she had a while seen my Behaviour, and how well I 
observed the Signs her Husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by 
degrees grew extremely tender of me. 

It was about twelve at Noon, and a Servant brought in Dinner. It was only 
one substantial Dish of Meat (fit for the plain condition of an Husbandman) 
in a Dish of about twenty-four Foot Diameter. The Company were the 
Farmer and his Wife, three Children, and an old Grandmother: When they 
were sat down, the Farmer placed me at some Distance from him on the 
Table, which was thirty Foot high from the Floor. I was in a terrible 
Fright, and kept as far as I could from the Edge for Fear of falling. The 
Wife minced a bit of Meat, then crumbled some Bread on a Trencher, and 
placed it before me. I made her a low Bow, took out my Knife and Fork, 
and fell to eating, which gave them exceeding Delight. The Mistress sent 
her Maid for a small Dram-cup, which held about three Gallons, and filled 
it with Drink; I took up the Vessel with much difficulty in both Hands, and 
in a most respectful manner drank to her Ladyship's Health, expressing the 
Words as loud as I could in English, which made the Company laugh so 
heartily, that I was almost deafned with the Noise. This Liquor tasted like a 
small Cyder, and was not unpleasant. Then the Master made me a Sign to 
come to his Trencher-side; but as I walked on the Table, being in great 
Surprize all the Time, as the indulgent Reader will easily conceive and 
excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and fell flat on my Face, but 
received no Hurt. I got up immediately, and observing the good People to 
be in much Concern, I took my Hat (which I held under my Arm out of 
good Manners) and waving it over my Head, made three Huzza's, to shew I 
had got no Mischief by my Fall. But advancing forwards toward my 
Master (as I shall henceforth call him), his youngest Son who sate next him, 
an arch Boy of about ten Years old, took me up by the Legs, and held me 
so high in the Air, that I trembled every Limb; but his Father snatched me 
from him, and at the same Time gave him such a Box on the left Ear, as 
would have felled an European Troop of Horse to the Earth, ordering him 
to be taken from the Table. But being afraid the Boy might owe me a 
spight, and well remembring how mischievous all Children among us 
naturally are to Sparrows, Rabbits, young Kittens, and Puppy Dogs, I fell 
on my Knees, and pointing to the Boy, made my Master to understand, as 
well as I could, that I desired his Son might be pardoned. The Father 
complied, and the Lad took his Seat again; whereupon I went to him and 
kissed his Hand, which my Master took, and made him stroke me gently 
with it. 

In the midst of Dinner, my Mistress's favourite Cat leapt into her Lap. I 
heard a Noise behind me like that of a dozen Stocking-Weavers at Work; 
and turning my Head, I found it proceeded from the purring of this 
Animal, who seemed to be three times larger than an Ox, as I computed by 
the View of her Head, and one of her Paws, while her Mistress was feeding 
and stroaking her. The Fierceness of this Creature's Countenance 
altogether discomposed me; though I stood at the further End of the Table, 
above fifty Foot off, and altho' my Mistress held her fast for fear she 
might give a Spring, and seize me in her Talons. But it happened there was 
no Danger; for the Cat took not the least Notice of me when my Master 
placed me within three Yards of her. And as I have been always told, and 
found true by Experience in my Travels, that flying, or discovering Fear 
before a fierce Animal, is a certain Way to make it pursue or attack you, so 
I resolved in this dangerous Juncture to shew no manner of Concern. I 
walked with Intrepidity five or six times before the very Head of the Cat, 
and came within half a Yard of her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if 
she were more afraid of me: I had less Apprehension concerning the Dogs, 
whereof three or four came into the Room, as it is usual in Farmers' 
Houses; one of which was a Mastiff, equal in Bulk to four Elephants, and a 
Greyhound, somewhat taller than the Mastiff, but not so large. 

When Dinner was almost done, the Nurse came in with a Child of a Year 
old in her Arms, who immediately spied me, and began a Squall that you 
might have heard from London-Bridge to Chelsea, after the usual Oratory 
of Infants, to get me for a Play-thing. The Mother out of pure Indulgence 
took me up, and put me towards the Child, who presently seized me by the 
Middle, and got my Head in his Mouth, where I roared so loud that the 
Urchin was frightened, and let me drop, and I should infallibly have broke 
my Neck if the Mother had not held her Apron under me. The Nurse to 
quiet her Babe made use of a Rattle, which was a kind of hollow Vessel 
filled with great Stones, and fastned by a Cable to the Child's Wast: But all 
in vain, so that she was forced to apply the last Remedy, by giving it suck. I 
must confess no Object ever disgusted me so much as the sight of her 
monstrous Breast, which I cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give 
the curious Reader an Idea of its Bulk, Shape and Colour. It stood 
prominent six Foot, and could not be less than sixteen in Circumference. 
The Nipple was about half the Bigness of my Head, and the Hew both of 
that and the Dug so varified with Spots, Pimples and Freckles, that nothing 
could appear more nauseous: For I had a near sight of her, she sitting down 
the more conveniently to give Suck, and I standing on the Table. This made 
me reflect upon the fair skins of our English Ladies, who appear so 
beautiful to us, only because they are of our own Size, and their Defects 
not to be seen but through a Magnifying-glass, where we find by 
Experiment that the smoothest and whitest Skins look rough and coarse, 
and ill coloured. 

I Remember when I was at Lilliput, the Complexion of those diminutive 
People appeared to me the fairest in the World; and talking upon this 
Subject with a Person of Learning there, who was an intimate Friend of 
mine, he said that my Face appeared much fairer and smoother when he 
looked on me from the Ground, than it did upon a nearer View when I 
took him up in my Hand, and brought him close, which he confessed was at 
first a very shocking Sight. He said he could discover great Holes in my 
Skin; that the Stumps of my Beard were ten times stronger than the Bristles 
of a Boar, and my Complexion made up of several Colours altogether 
disagreeable: Although I must beg leave to say for my self, that I am as fair 
as most of my Sex and Country, and very little sun-burnt by all my 
Travels. On the other Side, discoursing of the Ladies in that Emperor's 
Court, he used to tell me, one had Freckles, another too wide a Mouth, a 
third too large a Nose, nothing of which I was able to distinguish. I confess 
this Reflection was obvious enough; which however I could not forbear, 
lest the Reader might think those vast Creatures were actually deformed: 
For I must do them Justice to say they are a comely Race of People; and 
particularly the Features of my Master's Countenance, although he were 
but a Farmer, when I beheld him from the Height of sixty Foot, appeared 
very well proportioned. 

When Dinner was done, my Master went out to his Labourers, and as I 
could discover by his Voice and Gesture, gave his Wife a strict Charge to 
take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to sleep, which my 
Mistress perceiving, she put me on her own Bed, and covered me with a 
clean white Handkerchief, larger and coarser than the Main-sail of a Man 
of War. 

I slept about two Hours, and dreamed I was at home with my Wife and 
Children, which aggravated my Sorrows when I awakened and found 
myself alone in a vast Room, between two and three hundred Foot wide, 
and above two hundred high, lying in a Bed twenty Yards wide. My 
Mistress was gone about her household Affairs, and had locked me in. The 
Bed was eight Yards from the Floor. Some natural Necessities required me 
to get down; I durst not presume to call, and if I had, it would have been in 
vain, with such a Voice as mine, at so great a Distance from the Room 
where I lay to the Kitchen where the Family kept. While I was under these 
Circumstances, two Rats crept up the Curtains, and ran smelling backwards 
and forwards on the Bed. One of them came up almost to my Face, 
whereupon I rose in a Fright, and drew out my Hanger to defend my self. 
These horrible Animals had the Boldness to attack me on both Sides, and 
one of them held his Fore-feet at my Collar; but I had the good Fortune to 
rip up his Belly before he could do me any Mischief. He fell down at my 
Feet, and the other, seeing the Fate of his Comrade, made his Escape, but 
not without one good Wound on the Back, which I gave him as he fled, and 
made the Blood run trickling from him. After this Exploit, I walked gently 
to and fro on the Bed, to recover my Breath and Loss of Spirits. These 
Creatures were of the Size of a large Mastiff, but infinitely more nimble 
and fierce; so that if I had taken off my Belt before I went to sleep, I must 
have infallibly been torn to Pieces and devoured. I measured the Tail of the 
dead Rat, and found it to be two Yards long, wanting an Inch; but it went 
against my Stomach to drag the Carcass off the Bed, where it lay still 
bleeding; I observed it had yet some Life, but with a strong Slash cross the 
Neck, I thoroughly dispatched it. 

Soon after my Mistress came into the Room, who seeing me all Bloody, ran 
and took me up in her Hand. I pointed to the dead Rat, smiling and making 
other Signs to shew I was not hurt, whereat she was extremely rejoyced, 
calling the Maid to take up the dead Rat with a pair of tongs, and throw it 
out of the Window. Then she set me on a Table, where I shewed her my 
Hanger all bloody, and wiping it on the Lappet of my Coat, returned it to 
the Scabbard. I was pressed to do more than one Thing, which another 
could not do for me, and therefore endeavored to make my Mistress 
understand that I desired to be set down on the Floor; which after she had 
done, my Bashfulness would not suffer me to express myself farther than 
by pointing to the Door, and bowing several Times. The good Woman with 
much Difficulty at last perceived what I would be at, and taking me up 
again in her Hand, walked into the Garden, where she set me down. I went 
on one Side about two Hundred Yards, and beckoning to her not to look or 
to follow me, I hid myself between two Leaves of sorrel and there 
discharged the Necessities of Nature. 

I hope the gentle Reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and the like 
Particulars; which however insignificant they may appear to grovelling 
vulgar Minds, yet will certainly help a Philosopher to enlarge his Thoughts 
and Imagination, and apply them to the Benefit of publick as well as private 
Life, which was my sole Design in presenting this and other Accounts of 
my Travels to the World; wherein I have been chiefly studious of Truth, 
without affecting any Ornaments of Learning or of Style. But the whole 
Scene of this Voyage made so strong an Impression on my Mind, and is so 
deeply fixed in my Memory, that in committing it to Paper, I did not omit 
one material Circumstance: However, upon a strict Review, I blotted out 
several Passages of less Moment which were in my first Copy, for fear of 
being censured as tedious and trifling, whereof Travellers are often, 
perhaps not without Justice, accused. 

CHAPTER II.

A Description of the Farmer's Daughter. The Author carried to a Market-
Town, and then to the Metropolis. The Particulars of his Journey. 

My Mistress had a Daughter of nine Years old, a Child of towardly Parts 
for her Age, very dextrous at her Needle, and skilful in dressing her Baby. 
Her Mother and she contrived to fit up the Baby's Cradle for me against 
Night: The Cradle was put into a small Drawer of a Cabinet, and the 
Drawer placed upon a hanging Shelf for fear of the Rats. This was my Bed 
all the Time I stayed with those People, though made more convenient by 
Degrees, as I began to learn their Language, and make my Wants known. 
This young Girl was so handy, that after I had once or twice pulled off my 
Cloaths before her, she was able to dress and undress me, though I never 
gave her that Trouble when she would let me do either my self. She made 
me seven Shirts, and some other Linnen, of as fine Cloth as could be got, 
which indeed was coarser than Sackcloth; and these she constantly washed 
for me with her own Hands. She was likewise my School-Mistress to teach 
me the Language: When I pointed to any thing, she told me the Name of it 
in her own Tongue, so that in a few Days I was able to call for whatever I 
had a mind to. She was very good natured, and not above forty Foot high, 
being little for her Age. She gave me the Name of Grildrig, which the 
Family took up, and afterwards the whole Kingdom. The Word imports 
what the Latins call Nanunculus, the Italians Homunceletino, and the 
English Mannikin. To her I chiefly owe my Preservation in that Country: 
We never parted while I was there; I called her my Glumdalclitch, or little 
Nurse: And I should be guilty of great Ingratitute if I omitted this 
honourable Mention of her Care and Affection towards me, which I 
heartily wish it lay in my Power to requite as she deserves, instead of being 
the innocent but unhappy Instrument of her Disgrace, as I have too much 
Reason to fear. 

It now began to be known and talked of in the Neighbourhood, that my 
Master had found a strange Animal in the Fields, about the Bigness of a 
Splacknuck, but exactly shaped in every Part like a human Creature; which 
it likewise imitated in all its Actions; seemed to speak in a little Language 
of its own, had already learned several Words of theirs, went erect upon 
two Legs, was tame and gentle, would come when it was called, do 
whatever it was bid, had the finest Limbs in the World, and a Complexion 
fairer than a Nobleman's Daughter of three Years old. Another Farmer 
who lived hard by, and was a particular Friend of my Master, came on a 
Visit on Purpose to inquire into the Truth of this Story. I was immediately 
produced, and placed upon a Table, where I walked as I was commanded, 
drew my Hanger, put it up again, made my Reverence to my Master's 
Guest, asked him in his own Language how he did, and told him he was 
welcome, just as my little Nurse had instructed me. This Man, who was old 
and dimsighted, put on his Spectacles to behold me better, at which I could 
not forbear laughing very heartily, for his Eyes appeared like the Full-
Moon shining into a Chamber at two Windows. Our People, who 
discovered the Cause of my Mirth, bore me Company in Laughing, at 
which the old Fellow was Fool enough to be angry and out of Countenance. 
He had the Character of a great Miser; and to my Misfortune he well 
deserved it by the cursed Advice he gave my Master to shew me as a Sight 
upon a Market-Day in the next Town, which was half an Hour's Riding, 
about two and twenty miles from our House. I guessed there was some 
Mischief contriving, when I observed my Master and his Friend whispering 
long together, sometimes pointing at me; and my Fears made me fancy that 
I overheard and understood some of their Words. But the next Morning 
Glumdalclitch, my little Nurse, told me the whole Matter, which she had 
cunningly picked out from her Mother. The poor Girl laid me on her 
Bosom, and fell a weeping with Shame and Grief. She apprehended some 
Mischief would happen to me from rude vulgar Folks, who might squeeze 
me to Death, or break one of my Limbs by taking me in their Hands. She 
had also observed how modest I was in my Nature, how nicely I regarded 
my Honour, and what an Indignity I should conceive it to be exposed for 
Money as a publick Spectacle to the meanest of the People. She said, her 
Papa and Mamma had promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now she 
found they meant to serve her as they did last Year, when they pretended to 
give her a Lamb; and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it to a Butcher. For my 
own Part, I may truly affirm that I was less concerned than my Nurse. I 
had a strong Hope, which never left me, that I should one Day recover my 
Liberty; and as to the ignominy of being carried about for a Monster, I 
considered my self to be a perfect Stranger in the Country; and that such a 
Misfortune could never be charged upon me as a Reproach, if ever I should 
return to England; since the King of Great Britain himself, in my 
Condition, must have undergone the same Distress. 

My Master, pursuant to the Advice of his Friend, carried me in a Box the 
next Market-Day to the neighboring Town; and took along with him his 
little Daughter, my Nurse, upon a Pillion behind him. The Box was close 
on every Side, with a little Door for me to go in and out, and a few 
Gimlet-holes to let in Air. The Girl had been so careful to put the Quilt of 
her Baby's Bed into it, for me to lye down on. However, I was terribly 
shaken and discomposed in this Journey, though it were but of half an 
Hour. For the Horse went about forty Foot at every Step, and trotted so 
high, that the Agitation was equal to the rising and falling of a Ship in a 
great Storm, but much more frequent: Our Journey was somewhat further 
than from London to St. Albans. My Master alighted at an Inn which he 
used to frequent; and after consulting a while with the Inn-keeper, and 
making some necessary Preparations, he hired the Grultrud, or Cryer, to 
give Notice through the Town of a strange Creature to be seen at the Sign 
of the Green Eagle, not so big as a Splacknuck (an Animal in that Country 
very finely shaped, about six Foot long) and in every Part of the Body 
resembling an human Creature, could speak several Words, and perform 
an Hundred diverting Tricks. 

I was placed upon a Table in the largest Room of the Inn, which might be 
near three Hundred Foot square. My little Nurse stood on a low Stool close 
to the Table, to take care of me, and direct what I should do. My Master, to 
avoid a Croud, would suffer only Thirty People at a Time to see me. I 
walked about on the Table as the Girl commanded; she asked me Questions 
as far as she knew my Understanding of the Language reached, and I 
answered them as loud as I could. I turned about several Times to the 
Company, paid my humble Respects, said they were welcome, and used 
some other Speeches I had been taught. I took up a Thimble filled with 
Liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a Cup, and drank their 
Health. I drew out my Hanger, and flourished it after the Manner of 
Fencers in England. My Nurse gave me part of a Straw, which I exercised 
as a Pike, having learned the Art in my Youth. I was that Day shewn to 
twelve Sets of Company; and as often forced to go over again with the 
same Fopperies, till I was half dead with Weariness and Vexation. For 
those who had seen me made such wonderful Reports, that the People were 
ready to break down the Doors to come in. My Master for his own Interest 
would not suffer any one to touch me except my Nurse; and, to prevent 
Danger, Benches were set around the Table at such a Distance, as put me 
out of every Body's Reach. However, an unlucky School-Boy aimed a 
Hazel-Nut directly at my Head, which very narrowly missed me; otherwise, 
it came with so much Violence, that it would have infallibly knocked out 
my Brains, for it was almost as large as a small Pumpion: But I had the 
Satisfaction to see the young Rogue well beaten, and turned out of the 
Room. 

My Master gave publick Notice that he would shew me again the next 
Market- Day: And in the mean time he prepared a more convenient Vehicle 
for me, which he had Reason enough to do; for I was so tired with my first 
Journey, and with entertaining Company for eight Hours together, that I 
could hardly stand upon my Legs, or speak a Word. It was at least three 
Days before I recovered my Strength; and that I might have no rest at 
Home, all the neighbouring Gentlemen from an Hundred Miles round, 
hearing of my Fame, came to see me at my Master's own House. There 
could not be fewer than thirty Persons with their Wives and Children; (for 
the Country is very populous); and my Master demanded the Rate of a full 
Room whenever he shewed me at Home, although it were only to a single 
Family. So that for some Time I had but little Ease every Day of the Week 
(except Wednesday, which is their Sabbath) although I were not carried to 
the Town. 

My Master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to carry me 
to the most considerable Cities of the Kingdom. Having therefore provided 
himself with all Things necessary for a long Journey, and settled his 
Affairs at Home; he took Leave of his Wife, and upon the 17th of August 
1703, about two Months after my Arrival, we set out for the Metropolis, 
situated near the Middle of that Empire, and about three Thousand Miles 
distance from our House: My Master made his Daughter Glumdalclitch ride 
behind him. She carried me on her lap in a Box tied about her Waist. The 
Girl had lined it on all Sides with the softest Cloth she could get, well 
quilted underneath; furnished it with her Baby's Bed, provided me with 
Linnen and other Necessaries, and made everything as convenient as she 
could. We had no other Company but a Boy of the House, who rode after 
us with the Luggage. 

My Master's Design was to shew me in all the Towns by the Way, and to 
step out of the Road for Fifty or an Hundred Miles, to any Village or 
Person of Quality's House where he might expect Custom. We made easy 
Journies of not above seven or eight Score Miles a Day: For Glumdalclitch, 
on Purpose to spare me, complained she was tired with the trotting of the 
Horse. She often took me out of my Box at my own Desire, to give me Air, 
and shew me the Country; but always held me fast by Leading-strings. We 
passed over five or six Rivers many Degrees broader and deeper than the 
Nile or the Ganges; and there was hardly a Rivulet so small as the Thames 
at London-Bridge. We were ten Weeks in our Journey, and I was shewn in 
Eighteen large Towns besides many Villages and private Families. 

On the 26th day of October, we arrived at the Metropolis, called in their 
Language Lorbrulgrud, or Pride of the Universe. My Master took a 
Lodging in the principal Street of the City, not far from the Royal Palace, 
and put out Bills in the usual Form, containing an exact Description of my 
Person and Parts. He hired a large Room between three and four Hundred 
Foot wide. He provided a Table sixty Foot in Diameter, upon which I was 
to act my Part; and palisadoed it round three Foot from the Edge, and as 
many high, to prevent my falling over. I was shewn ten Times a Day to the 
Wonder and Satisfaction of all People. I could now speak the Language 
tolerably well; and perfectly understood every Word that was spoken to 
me. Besides, I had learned their Alphabet, and could make a shift to explain 
a Sentence here and there; for Glumdalclitch had been my Instructer while 
we were at home, and at leisure Hours during our Journey. She carried a 
little Book in her Pocket, not much larger than a Sanson's Atlas; it was a 
common Treatise for the use of young Girls, giving a short Account of 
their Religion; out of this she taught me my Letters, and interpreted the 
Words. 

CHAPTER III.

The Author sent for to Court. The Queen buys him of his Master the 
Farmer, and presents him to the King. He disputes with his Majesty's great 
Scholars. An Apartment at Court provided for the Author. He is in high 
Favour with the Queen. He stands up for the Honour of his own Country. 
His Quarrels with the Queen's Dwarf. 

The frequent Labours I underwent every Day made in a few Weeks a very 
considerable change in my Health: The more my Master got by me, the 
more unsatiable he grew. I had quite lost my Stomach, and was almost 
reduced to a Skeleton. The Farmer observed it, and concluding I soon must 
dye, resolved to make as good a Hand of me as he could. While he was thus 
reasoning and resolving with himself, a Slardral, or Gentleman Usher came 
from Court, commanding my Master to carry me immediately thither for 
the Diversion of the Queen and her Ladies. Some of the latter had already 
been to see me, and reported strange Things of my Beauty, Behaviour, and 
good Sense. Her Majesty and those who attended her were beyond Measure 
delighted with my Demeanor. I fell on my Knees, and begged the Honour 
of kissing her Imperial foot; but this gracious Princess held out her little 
Finger towards me (after I was set on a Table) which I embraced in both 
my Arms, and put the tip of it, with the utmost respect, to my Lip. She 
made me some general Questions about my Country and my Travels, which 
I answer'd as distinctly and in as few Words as I could. She asked whether 
I would be content to live at Court. I bowed down to the board of the 
Table, and humbly answered, that I was my Master's Slave, but if I were at 
my own Disposal, I should be proud to devote my Life to her Majesty's 
Service. She then asked my Master whether he were willing to sell me at a 
good Price. He who apprehended I could not live a Month, was ready 
enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of Gold, which 
were ordered him on the spot, each piece being about the bigness of eight 
hundred Moydores; but, allowing for the proportion of all Things between 
that Country and Europe, and the high Price of Gold among them, was 
hardly so great a sum as a thousand Guineas would be in England. I then 
said to the Queen, since I was now her Majesty's most humble Creature and 
Vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch, who had always tended 
me with so much care and kindness, and understood to do it so well, might 
be admitted into her Service, and continue to be my Nurse and Instructor. 
Her Majesty agreed to my Petition, and easily got the Farmer's consent, 
who was glad enough to have his Daughter preferred at Court: and the 
poor Girl herself was not able to hide her Joy: My late Master withdrew, 
bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in a good Service; to which 
I replied not a Word, only making him a slight bow. 

The Queen observed my coldness, and when the Farmer was gone out of 
the Apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her Majesty that I 
owed no other Obligation to my late Master, than his not dashing out the 
Brains of a poor harmless Creature found by chance in his Field; which 
Obligation was amply recompensed by the gain he had made in shewing me 
through half the Kingdom, and the price he had now sold me for. That the 
Life I had since led, was laborious enough to kill an Animal of ten times 
my Strength. That my Health was much impaired by the continual 
drudgery of entertaining the Rabble every hour of the Day, and that if my 
Master had not thought my Life in Danger, her Majesty perhaps would not 
have got so cheap a Bargain. But as I was out of all Fear of being ill treated 
under the Protection of so great and good an Empress, the Ornament of 
Nature, the Darling of the World, the Delight of her Subjects, the Phoenix 
of the Creation; so, I hoped my late Master's apprehensions would appear 
to be groundless, for I already found my Spirits to revive by the Influence 
of her most August Presence. 

This was the sum of my Speech, delivered with great Improprieties and 
Hesitation; the latter part was altogether framed in the Style peculiar to that 
People, whereof I learned some Phrases from Glumdalclitch, while she was 
carrying me to Court. 

The Queen giving great Allowance for my Defectiveness in speaking, was 
however surprised at so much Wit and good Sense in so diminutive an 
Animal. She took me in her own Hands, and carried me to the King, who 
was then retired to his Cabinet. His Majesty, a Prince of much Gravity, and 
austere Countenance, not well observing my Shape at first View, asked the 
Queen after a cold manner, how long it was since she grew fond of a 
Splacknuck; for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay upon my Breast in 
her Majesty's right Hand. But this Princess, who has an infinite deal of Wit 
and Humour, set me gently on my Feet upon the Scrutore, and commanded 
me to give his Majesty an Account of my self, which I did in a very few 
Words; and Glumdalclitch, who attended at the Cabinet door, and could not 
endure I should be out of her sight, being admitted, confirmed all that had 
passed from my Arrival at her Father's House. 

The King, although he be as learned a Person as any in his Dominions, and 
had been educated in the Study of Philosophy, and particularly 
Mathematicks; yet when he observed my Shape exactly, and saw me walk 
erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might be a Piece of Clock-work, 
(which is in that Country arrived to a very great Perfection), contrived by 
some ingenious Artist. But when he heard my Voice, and found what I 
delivered to be regular and rational, he could not conceal his Astonishment. 
He was by no means satisfied with the Relation I gave him of the Manner I 
came into his Kingdom, but thought it a Story concerted between 
Glumdalclitch and her Father, who had taught me a Set of Words to make 
me sell at a higher Price. Upon this Imagination he put several other 
Questions to me, and still received rational Answers, no otherwise 
defective than by a foreign Accent, and an imperfect Knowledge in the 
Language, with some rustick Phrases which I had learned at the Farmer's 
House, and did not suit the polite Stile of a Court. 

His Majesty sent for three great Scholars who were then in their Weekly 
waiting (according to the Custom in that Country). These Gentlemen, after 
they had a while examined my Shape with much Nicety, were of different 
Opinions concerning me. They all agreed that I could not be produced 
according to the regular Laws of Nature, because I was not framed with a 
Capacity of preserving my Life, either by Swiftness, or climbing of Trees, 
or digging Holes in the Earth. They observed by my Teeth, which they 
viewed with great Exactness, that I was a carnivorous Animal; yet most 
Quadrupeds being an Overmatch for me, and Field-Mice, with some 
others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be able to support 
my self, unless I fed upon Snails and other Insects, which they offered, by 
many learned Arguments, to evince that I could not possibly do. One of 
these Virtuosi seemed to think that I might be an Embrio, or abortive 
Birth. But this Opinion was rejected by the other two, who observed my 
Limbs to be perfect and finished, and that I had lived several Years, as it 
was manifested from my Beard, the Stumps whereof they plainly 
discovered through a Magnifying-Glass. They would not allow me to be a 
Dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all Degrees of Comparison; for 
the Queen's favourite Dwarf, the smallest ever known in that Kingdom, 
was near thirty Foot high. After much Debate, they concluded unanimously 
that I was only Relplum Scalcath, which is interpreted literally, Lusus 
Natur<EFBFBD>; a determination exactly agreeable to the modern Philosophy of 
Europe, whose Professors, disdaining the old Evasion of occult Causes, 
whereby the followers of Artistotle endeavor in vain to disguise their 
Ignorance, have invented this wonderful Solution of all Difficulties, to the 
unspeakable Advancement of human Knowledge. 

After this decisive Conclusion, I entreated to be heard a Word or two. I 
applied my self to the King, and assured his Majesty that I came from a 
Country which abounded with several Millions of both Sexes, and of my 
own Stature; where the Animals, Trees, and Houses were all in Proportion, 
and where by consequence I might be as able to defend my self, and to find 
Sustenance, as any of his Majesty's Subjects could do here; which I took for 
a full Answer to those Gentlemens Arguments. To this they only replied 
with a Smile of Contempt, saying that the Farmer had instructed me very 
well in my Lesson. The King, who had a much better Understanding, 
dismissing his learned Men, sent for the Farmer, who by good Fortune was 
not yet gone out of Town. Having therefore first examined him privately, 
and then confronted him with me and the young Girl, his Majesty began to 
think that what we told him might possibly be true. He desired the Queen to 
order that a particular Care should be taken of me, and was of Opinion that 
Glumdalclitch should still continue in her Office of tending me, because he 
observed we had a great Affection for each other. A convenient Apartment 
was provided for her at Court; she had a sort of Governess appointed to 
take care of her Education, a Maid to dress her, and two other Servants for 
menial Offices; but the Care of me was wholly appropriated to her self. 
The Queen commanded her own Cabinet-maker to contrive a Box that 
might serve me for a Bed-chamber, after the Model that Glumdalclitch and 
I should agree upon. This Man was a most ingenious Artist, and according 
to my Directions, in three Weeks finished for me a wooden Chamber of 
sixteen Foot square, and twelve high, with Sash-windows, a Door, and two 
Closets, like a London Bed-chamber. The Board that made the Cieling was 
to be lifted up and down by two Hinges, to put in a Bed ready furnished by 
her Majesty's Upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every Day to air, 
made it with her own Hands, and letting it down at Night, locked up the 
Roof over me. A nice Workman, who was famous for little Curiosities, 
undertook to make me two Chairs, with Backs and Frames, of a Substance 
not unlike Ivory, and two Tables, with a Cabinet to put my Things in. The 
Room was quilted on all Sides, as well as the Floor and the Cieling, to 
prevent any Accident from the Carelessness of those who carried me, and 
to break the Force of a Jolt when I went in a Coach. I desired a Lock for 
my Door, to prevent Rats and Mice from coming in: The Smith, after 
several Attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen among them, for I 
have known a larger at the Gate of a Gentleman's House in England. I 
made a shift to keep the Key in a Pocket of my own, fearing Glumdalclitch 
might lose it. The Queen likewise ordered the thinnest Silks that could be 
gotten, to make me Cloaths, not much thicker than an English Blanket, 
very cumbersome till I was accustomed to them. They were after the 
Fashion of the Kingdom, partly resembling the Persian, and partly the 
Chinese, and are a very grave and decent Habit. 

The Queen became so fond of my Company, that she could not dine 
without me. I had a Table placed upon the same at which her Majesty eat, 
just at her left Elbow, and a Chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood upon a 
Stool on the Floor, near my Table, to assist and take care of me. I had an 
entire Set of silver Dishes and Plates, and other Necessaries, which in 
Proportion to those of the Queen, were not much bigger than what I have 
seen of the same kind in a London Toys-shop, for the Furniture of a Baby-
house: These my little Nurse kept in her Pocket in a silver Box, and gave 
me at Meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them her self. No Person 
dined with the Queen but the two Princesses Royal, the elder sixteen Years 
old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a Month. Her Majesty used to 
put a Bit of Meat upon one of my Dishes, out of which I carved for my 
self; and her Diversion was to see me eat in Miniature. For the Queen (who 
had indeed but a weak Stomach) took up at one Mouthful as much as a 
dozen English Farmers could eat at a Meal, which to me was for some time 
a very nauseous sight. She would craunch the Wing of a Lark, Bones and 
all, between her Teeth, although it were nine times as large as that of a full 
grown Turkey; and put a Bit of Bread into her mouth, as big as two 
twelve-penny Loaves. She drank, out of a golden Cup, above a Hogshead at 
a Draught. Her Knives were twice as long as a Scythe, set strait upon the 
Handle. The Spoons, Forks, and other Instruments were all in the same 
Proportion. I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me out of curiosity to 
see some of the Tables at Court, where ten or a dozen of these enormous 
Knives and Forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till then, 
beheld so terrible a Sight. 

It is the Custom that every Wednesday (which, as I have before observed, 
was their Sabbath) the King and Queen, with the Royal Issue of both Sexes, 
dine together in the Apartment of his Majesty, to whom I was now become 
a great Favourite; and at these times my little Chair and Table were placed 
at his left Hand, before one of the Saltsellers. This Prince took a Pleasure 
in conversing with me, enquiring into the Manners, Religion, Laws, 
Government, and Learning of Europe; wherein I gave him the best 
Account I was able. His Apprehension was so clear, and his Judgment so 
exact, that he made very wise Reflexions and Observations upon all I said. 
But, I confess, that after I had been a little too copious in talking of my 
own beloved Country, of our Trade, and Wars by Sea and Land, of our 
Schisms in Religion, and Parties in the State; the Prejudices of his 
Education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear taking me up in his 
Right Hand, and stroaking me gently with the other, after an hearty Fit of 
laughing, asked me whether I were a Whig or a Tory. Then turning to his 
first Minister, who waited behind him with a white Staff, near as tall as the 
main-mast of the Royal Sovereign, he observed how contemptible a thing 
was human Grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive Insects 
as I: And yet, said he, I dare engage, these Creatures have their Titles and 
Distinctions of Honour, they contrive little Nests and Burrows, that they 
call Houses and Cities; they make a Figure in Dress and Equipage; they 
love, they fight, they dispute, they cheat, they betray. And thus he 
continued on, while my Colour came and went several times with 
Indignation to hear our noble Country, the Mistress of Arts and Arms, the 
Scourge of France, the Arbitress of Europe, the Seat of Virtue, Piety, 
Honour and Truth, the Pride and Envy of the World, so contemptuously 
treated. 

But as I was not in a Condition to resent injuries, so, upon mature 
Thoughts, I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after having 
been accustomed several Months to the Sight and Converse of this People, 
and observed every Object upon which I cast mine Eyes to be of 
proportionable Magnitude, the Horror I had first conceived from their 
Bulk and Aspect was so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a Company 
of English Lords and Ladies in their Finery and Birth-day Cloaths, acting 
their several Parts in the most courtly manner, of strutting, and bowing, 
and prating; to say the Truth, I should have been strongly tempted to laugh 
as much at them as the King and his Grandees did at me. Neither indeed 
could I forbear smiling at my self, when the Queen used to place me upon 
her Hand towards a Looking-glass, by which both our Persons appeared 
before me in full View together; and there could nothing be more 
ridiculous than the Comparison: So that I really began to imagine myself 
Dwindled many Degrees below my usual Size. 

Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the Queen's Dwarf, who 
being of the lowest Stature that was ever that Country (for I verily think he 
was not thirty Foot high) became insolent at seeing a Creature so much 
beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger and look big as he 
passed by me in the Queen's Antichamber, while I was standing on some 
Table talking with the Lords or Ladies of the Court, and he seldom failed 
of a small Word or two upon my Littleness; against which I could only 
revenge my self by calling him Brother, challenging him to wrestle, and 
such Repartees as are usual in the Mouths of Court Pages. One Day at 
Dinner this malicious little Cubb was so nettled with something I had said 
to him, that raising himself upon the Frame of her Majesty's Chair, he took 
me up by the Middle, as I was sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let 
me drop into a large silver Bowl of Cream, and then ran away as fast as he 
could. I fell over Head and Ears, and if I had not been a good Swimmer, it 
might have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that Instant 
happened to be at the other End of the Room, and the Queen was in such a 
Fright that she wanted Presence of Mind to assist me. But my little Nurse 
ran to my Relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed above a Quart of 
Cream. I was put to Bed; however, I received no other Damage than the 
Loss of a Suit of Cloaths, which was utterly spoiled. The Dwarf was 
soundly whipped, and as a farther Punishment, forced to drink up the Bowl 
of Cream, into which he had thrown me; neither was he ever restored to 
Favour; For soon after the Queen bestowed him to a Lady of high Quality, 
so that I saw him no more, to my very great Satisfaction; for I could not 
tell to what Extremity such a malicious Urchin might have carried his 
Resentment. 

He had before served me a scurvy Trick, which set the Queen a laughing, 
although at the same Time she was heartily vexed, and would have 
immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to intercede. 
Her Majesty had taken a Marrow-bone upon her plate, and after knocking 
out the Marrow, placed the Bone again in the Dish erect as it stood before; 
the Dwarf watching his Opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the 
Sideboard, mounted upon the Stool she stood on to take care of me at 
Meals, took me up in both Hands, and squeezing my Legs together, wedged 
them into the Marrow-bone above my Wast, where I stuck for some time, 
and made a very ridiculous Figure. I believe it was near a Minute before 
any one knew what was become of me, for I thought it below me to cry 
out. But, as Princes seldom get their Meat hot, my Legs were not scalded, 
only my Stockings and Breeches in a sad Condition. The Dwarf, at my 
Entreaty, had no other Punishment than a sound whipping. 

I was frequently rallied by the Queen upon account of my Fearfulness, and 
she used to ask me whether the People of my Country were as great 
Cowards as my self? The Occasion was this. The Kingdom is much 
pestered with Flies in Summer; and these odious Insects, each of them as 
big as a Dunstable Lark, hardly gave me any Rest while I sat at Dinner, 
with their continual humming and buzzing about mine Ears. They would 
sometimes alight upon my Victuals, and leave their loathsome Excrement 
or Spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not to the Natives 
of that Country, whose large Opticks were not so acute as mine in viewing 
smaller Objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my Nose or Forehead, 
where they stung me to the Quick, smelling very offensively, and I could 
easily trace that viscous Matter, which our Naturalists tell us enables those 
Creatures to walk with their Feet upwards upon a Cieling. I had much ado 
to defend my self against these detestable Animals, and could not forbear 
starting when they came on my Face. It was the common Practice of the 
Dwarf to catch a number of these Insects in his Hand, as School-boys do 
among us, and let them out suddenly under my Nose on purpose to frighten 
me, and divert the Queen. My Remedy was to cut them in Pieces with my 
Knife as they flew in the Air, wherein my Dexterity was much admired. 

I remember one Morning when Glumdalclitch had set me in my Box upon 
a Window, as she usually did in fair Days to give me Air (for I durst not 
venture to let the Box be hung on a Nail out of the Window, as we do with 
Cages in England) after I had lifted up one of my Sashes, and sat down at 
my Table to eat a Piece of Sweet Cake for my Breakfast, above twenty 
Wasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the Room, humming louder 
than the Drones of as many Bagpipes. Some of them seized my Cake, and 
carried it piece-meal away, others flew about my Head and Face, 
confounding me with the Noise, and putting me in the utmost terror of 
their Stings. However I had the Courage to rise and draw my Hanger, and 
attack them in the Air. I dispatched four of them, but the rest got away, 
and I presently shut my Window. These Insects were as large as Partridges; 
I took out their Stings, found them an Inch and a half long, and as sharp as 
Needles. I carefully preserved them all, and having since shown them with 
some other Curiosities in several parts of Europe; upon my Return to 
England I gave three of them to Gresham College, and kept the fourth for 
my self. 

CHAPTER IV.

The Country described. A Proposal for Correcting modern Maps. The 
King's Palace, and some Account of the Metropolis. The Author's way of 
Travelling. The chief Temple described. 

I NOW intend to give the Reader a short Description of this Country, as 
far as I travelled in it, which was not above two thousand Miles round 
Lorbrulgrud the Metropolis. For, the Queen, whom I always attended, 
never went further when she accompanied the King in his Progresses, and 
there staid till his Majesty returned from viewing his Frontiers. The whole 
Extent of this Prince's Dominions reacheth about six thousand Miles in 
Length, and from three to five in Breadth. From whence I cannot but 
conclude that our Geographers of Europe are in a great Error, by 
supposing nothing but Sea between Japan and California; for it was ever 
my Opinion, that there must be a Balance of Earth to counterpoise the 
great Continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct their Maps 
and Charts, by joining this vast Tract of Land to the North-west Parts of 
America, wherein I shall be ready to lend them my Assistance. 

The Kingdom is a Peninsula, terminated to the North-east by a Ridge of 
Mountains thirty Miles high, which are altogether impassable by reason of 
the Volcanoes upon the Tops. Neither do the most Learned know what sort 
of Mortals inhabit beyond those Mountains, or whether they be inhabited at 
all. On the three other Sides it is bounded by the Ocean. There is not one 
Sea-port in the whole Kingdom, and those Parts of the Coasts into which 
the Rivers issue, are so full of pointed Rocks, and the Sea generally so 
rough, that there is no venturing with the smallest of their Boats; so that 
these People are wholly excluded from any Commerce with the rest of the 
World. But the large Rivers are full of Vessels, and abound with excellent 
Fish; for they seldom get any from the Sea, because the Sea-fish are of the 
same Size with those in Europe, and consequently not worth catching; 
whereby it is manifest, that Nature in the Production of Plants and Animals 
of so extraordinary a Bulk, is wholly confined to this Continent; of which I 
leave the Reasons to be determined by Philosophers. However, now and 
then they take a Whale that happens to be dashed against the Rocks, which 
the common People feed on heartily. These Whales I have known so large 
that a Man could hardly carry one upon his Shoulders; and sometimes for 
Curiosity they are brought in Hampers to Lorbrulgrud: I saw one of them 
in a Dish at the King's Table, which passed for a Rarity, but I did not 
observe he was fond of it; for I think indeed the Bigness disgusted him, 
although I have seen one somewhat larger in Greenland. 

The Country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty one Cities, near an 
hundred walled Towns, and a great Number of Villages. To satisfy my 
curious Reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. This City 
stands upon almost two equal Parts on each Side the River that passes 
through. It contains above eighty thousand Houses, and about six hundred 
thousand Inhabitants. It is in Length three Glonglungs (which make about 
fifty four English Miles) and two and a half in Breadth, as I measured it 
my self in the Royal Map made by the King's Order, which was laid on the 
Ground on purpose for me, and extended an hundred Feet; I paced the 
Diameter and Circumference several times Bare-foot, and computing by 
the Scale, measured it pretty exactly. 

The King's Palace is no regular Edifice, but a Heap of Buildings about 
seven Miles round: The chief Rooms are generally two hundred and forty 
Foot high, and broad and long in Proportion. A Coach was allowed to 
Glumdalclitch and me, wherein her Governess frequently took her out to 
see the Town, or go among the Shops; and I was always of the Party, 
carried in my Box; although the Girl at my own Desire would often take 
me out, and hold me in her Hand, that I might more conveniently view the 
Houses and the People, as we passed along the Streets. I reckoned our 
Coach to be about a Square of Westminster-Hall, but not altogether so high; 
however, I cannot be very exact. One Day the Governess ordered our 
Coachman to stop at several Shops, where the Beggars watching their 
Opportunity, crouded to the Sides of the Coach, and gave me the most 
horrible Spectacles that ever an English Eye beheld. There was a Woman 
with a Cancer in her Breast, swelled to a monstrous Size, full of Holes, in 
two or three of which I could have easily crept, and covered my whole 
Body. There was a Fellow with a wen in his Neck, larger than five Wool-
packs; and another with a couple of wooden Legs, each about twenty Foot 
high. But the most hateful Sight of all was the Lice crawling on their 
Cloaths: I could see distinctly the Limbs of these Vermin with my naked 
Eye, much better than those of an European Louse through a Microscope, 
and their Snouts with which they rooted like Swine. They were the first I 
had ever beheld, and I should have been curious enough to dissect one of 
them, if I had proper Instruments (which I unluckily left behind me in the 
Ship) although indeed the Sight was so nauseous, that it perfectly turned my 
Stomach. 

Besides the large Box in which I was usually carried, the Queen ordered a 
smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve Foot Square, and ten high, 
for the Convenience of Travelling; because the other was somewhat too 
large for Glumdalclitch's Lap, and cumbersom in the Coach; it was made 
by the same Artist, whom I directed in the whole Contrivance. This 
travelling Closet was an exact Square with a Window in the Middle of three 
of the Squares, and each Window was latticed with Iron Wire on the 
outside, to prevent Accidents in long Journeys. On the fourth Side, which 
had no Window, two strong Staples were fixed, through which the Person 
that carried me, when I had a Mind to be on Horseback, put in a Leathern 
Belt, and buckled it about his Waist. This was always the Office of some 
grave trusty Servant in whom I could confide, whether I attended the King 
and Queen in their Progresses, or were disposed to see the Gardens, or pay 
a Visit to some great Lady or Minister of State in the Court, when 
Glumdalclitch happened to be out of Order: for I soon began to be known 
and esteemed among the greatest Officers, I suppose more upon Account of 
their Majesties' Favour, than any Merit of my own. In Journeys, when I 
was weary of the Coach, a Servant on Horseback would buckle my Box, 
and place it on a Cushion before him; and there I had a full Prospect of the 
Country on three Sides from my three Windows. I had in this Closet a 
Field-Bed and a Hammock hung from the Cieling, two Chairs and a Table, 
neatly screwed to the Floor, to prevent being tossed about by the Agitation 
of the Horse or the Coach. And having been long used to Sea-Voyages, 
those Motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much discompose 
me. 

Whenever I had a Mind to see the Town, it was always in my Travelling-
Closet; which Glumdalclitch held in her Lap in a kind of open Sedan, after 
the Fashion of the Country, borne by four Men, and attended by two others 
in the Queen's Livery. The People who had often heard of me, were very 
curious to croud about the Sedan, and the Girl was complaisant enough to 
make the Bearers stop, and to take me in her Hand that I might be more 
conveniently seen. 

I was very desirous to see the chief Temple, and particularly the Tower 
belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the Kingdom. 
Accordingly, one Day my Nurse carried me thither, but I may truly say I 
came back disappointed; for, Height is not above three thousand Foot, 
reckoning from the Ground to the highest Pinnacle top; which allowing for 
the Difference between the Size of those People, and us in Europe, is no 
great matter for Admiration, nor at all equal in Proportion, (if I rightly 
remember) to Salisbury Steeple. But, not to detract from a Nation to which 
during my Life I shall acknowledge myself extremely obliged; it must be 
allowed, that whatever this famous Tower wants in Height, is amply made 
up in Beauty and Strength. For the Walls are near an hundred Foot thick, 
built of hewn Stone, whereof each is about forty Foot square, and adorned 
on all Sides with Statues of Gods and Emperors cut in Marble larger than 
the Life, placed in their several Niches. I measured a little Finger which 
had fallen down from one of these Statues, and lay unperceived among 
some Rubbish; and found it exactly four Foot and an Inch in Length. 
Glumdalclitch wrapped it up in a Handkerchief, and carried it Home in her 
Pocket to keep among other Trinkets, of which the Girl was very fond, as 
Children at her Age usually are. 

The King's Kitchen is indeed a noble Building, vaulted at Top, and about 
six hundred Foot high. The great Oven is not so wide by ten Paces as the 
Cupola at St. Paul's: For I measured the latter on purpose after my Return. 
But if I should describe the Kitchen-grate, the prodigious Pots and Kettles, 
the Joints of Meat turning on the Spits, with many other Particulars, 
perhaps I should be hardly believed; at least a severe Critick would be apt 
to think I enlarged a little, as Travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid 
which Censure, I fear I have run too much into the other Extreme; and that 
if this Treatise should happen to be translated into the Language of 
Brobdingnag (which is the general Name of that Kingdom) and transmitted 
thither; the King and his People would have Reason to complain; that I had 
done them an Injury by a false and diminutive Representation. 

His Majesty seldom keeps above six hundred Horses in his Stables: they are 
generally from fifty four to sixty Foot high. But, when he goes abroad on 
solemn Days, he is attended for State by a Militia Guard of five hundred 
Horse, which indeed I thought was the most splendid Sight that could be 
ever beheld, till I saw part of his Army in Battalia, whereof I shall find 
another Occasion to speak. 

CHAPTER V.

Several Adventured that happened to the Author. The Execution of a 
Criminal. The Author shews his Skill in Navigation. 

I SHOULD have lived happy enough in that Country, if my littleness had 
not exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome Accidents : some of 
which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into the 
Gardens of the Court in my smaller Box, and would sometimes take me out 
of it and hold me in her Hand, or set me down to walk. I remember, before 
the Dwarf left the Queen, he followed us one Day into those Gardens, and 
my Nurse having set me down, he and I being close together, near some 
Dwarf Apple Trees, I must needs shew my Wit by a silly Allusion between 
him and the Trees, which happens to hold in their Language as it does in 
ours. Whereupon, the malicious Rogue watching his Opportunity, when I 
was walking under one of them, shook it directly over my Head, by which 
a dozen Apples, each of them near as large as a Bristol Barrel, came 
tumbling about my Ears; one of them hit me on the Back as I chanced to 
stoop, and knocked me down flat on my Face, but I received no other Hurt, 
and the Dwarf was pardoned at my Desire, because I had given the 
Provocation. 

Another day Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth Grass-plot to divert my 
self while she walked at some distance with her Governess. In the meantime 
there suddenly fell such a violent shower of Hail, that I was immediately by 
the force of it struck to the Ground: And when I was down, the Hail-stones 
gave me such cruel Bangs all over the Body, as if I had been pelted with 
Tennis balls; however I made a shift to creep on all four, and shelter 
myself by lying flat on my Face on the Lee-side of a Border of Lemon 
Thyme, but so bruised from Head to Foot that I could not go abroad in ten 
Days. Neither is this at all to be wondered at, because Nature in that 
Country observing the same Proportion thro' all her Operations, a 
hailstone is near eighteen hundred times as large as one in Europe, which I 
can assert upon Experience, having been so curious to weigh and measure 
them. 

But, a more dangerous Accident happened to me in the same Garden, when 
my little Nurse believing she had put me in a secure Place, which I often 
entreated her to do, that might enjoy my own Thoughts, and having left my 
Box at Home to avoid the Trouble of carrying it, went to another part of 
the Garden with her Governess and some Ladies of her acquaintance. 
While she was absent and out of hearing, a small white Spaniel belonging to 
one of the chief Gardiners, having got by Accident into the Garden, 
happened to range near the Place where I lay. The Dog following the 
Scent, came directly up, and taking me in his Mouth, ran strait to his 
Master, wagging his Tail, and set me gently on the Ground. By good 
Fortune he had been so well taught, that I was carried between his Teeth 
without the least Hurt, or even tearing my Cloaths. But, the poor Gardiner, 
who knew me well, and had a great Kindness for me, was in a terrible 
Fright. He gently took me up in both his Hands, and asked me how I did; 
but I was so amazed and out of Breath, that I could not speak a Word. In a 
few Minutes I came to my self, and he carried me safe to my little Nurse, 
who by this time had returned to the Place where she left me, and was in 
cruel Agonies when I did not appear, nor answer when she called; she 
severely reprimanded the Gardener on Account of his Dog. But, the Thing 
was hushed up, and never known at Court; for the Girl was afraid of the 
Queen's Anger; and truly as to my self, I thought it would not be for my 
Reputation that such a Story should go about. 

This Accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust me 
abroad for the future out of her Sight. I had been long afraid of this 
Resolution; and therefore concealed from her some little unlucky 
Adventures that happened in those Times when I was left by my self. Once 
a Kite hovering over the Garden, made a Stoop at me, and if I had not 
resolutely drawn my Hanger, and run under a thick Espalier, he would 
have certainly carried me away in his Talons. Another time, walking to the 
Top of a fresh Mole-hill, I fell to my Neck in the Hole through which that 
Animal had cast up the Earth; and coined some Lye, not worth 
remembering, to excuse my self for spoiling my Cloaths. I likewise broke 
my right Shin against the Shell of a Snail, which I happened to stumble 
over, as I was walking alone, and thinking on poor England. 

I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified, to observe in those 
solitary Walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at all afraid of 
me; but would hop about within a Yard Distance, looking for Worms, and 
other Food with as much Indifference and Security as if no Creature at all 
were near them. I remember a Thrush had the Confidence to snatch out of 
my Hand with his Bill a Piece of Cake that Glumdalclitch had just given me 
for my Breakfast. When I attempted to catch any of these Birds, they 
would boldly turn against me, endeavoring to pick my Fingers, which I 
durst not venture within their reach; and then they would hop back 
unconcerned to hunt for Worms or Snails, as they did before. But, one Day 
I took a thick Cudgel, and threw it with all my Strength so luckily at a 
Linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing him by the Neck with both 
my Hands, ran with him in Triumph to my Nurse. However, the Bird, who 
had only been stunned, recovering himself, gave me so many Boxes with 
his Wings on both Sides of my Head and Body, though I held him at Arms 
Length, and was out of the Reach of his Claws, that I was twenty Times 
thinking to let him go. But I was soon relieved by one of our Servants, who 
wrung off the Bird's Neck; and I had him next Day for Dinner, by the 
Queen's Command. This Linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be 
somewhat larger than an English Swan. 

The Maids of Honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their Apartments, and 
desired she would bring me along with her, on Purpose to have the 
Pleasure of seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked from 
Top to Toe, and lay me at full Length in their Bosoms; wherewith I was 
much disgusted; because, to say the Truth, a very offensive Smell came 
from their Skins; which I do not mention or intend to the Disadvantage of 
those excellent Ladies, for whom I have all Manner of Respect; but, I 
conceive that my Sense was more acute in Proportion to my Littleness, and 
that those illustrious Persons were no more disagreeable to their Lovers, or 
to each other, than People of the same Quality are with us in England. And, 
after all, I found their natural Smell was much more supportable than when 
they used Perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. I cannot 
forget that an intimate Friend of mine in Lilliput took the Freedom in a 
warm Day, when I had used a good deal of Exercise, to complain of a 
strong Smell about me, although I am as little faulty that way as most of 
my Sex: But I suppose his Faculty of Smelling was as nice with regard to 
me, as mine was to that of this People. Upon this point, I cannot forbear 
doing Justice to the Queen my Mistress, and Glumdalclitch my Nurse, 
whose Persons were as sweet as those of any Lady in England. 

That which gave me most Uneasiness among these Maids of Honour, when 
my Nurse carried me to visit them, was to see them use me without any 
manner of Ceremony, like a Creature who had no sort of Consequence. 
For, they would strip themselves to the Skin, and put on their Smocks in 
my Presence, while I was placed on their Toylet directly before their naked 
Bodies, which, I am sure, to me was very far from being a tempting Sight, 
or from giving me any other emotions than those of Horror and Disgust. 
Their Skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously coloured, when I 
saw them near, with a Mole here and there as broad as a Trencher, and 
Hairs hanging from it thicker than Pack-threads, to say nothing further 
concerning the rest of their Persons. Neither did they at all scruple, while I 
was by to discharge what they had drunk, to the Quantity of at least two 
Hogsheads, in a Vessel that held above three Tuns. The handsomest among 
these Maids of Honour, a pleasant frolicksome Girl of Sixteen, would 
sometimes set me astride upon one of her Nipples, with many other Tricks, 
wherein the Reader will excuse me for not being over particular. But I was 
so much displeased, that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some Excuse 
for not seeing that young Lady any more. 

One Day, a young Gentleman, who was a Nephew to my Nurse's 
Governess, came and pressed them both to see an Execution. It was of a 
Man who had murdered one of that Gentleman's intimate Acquaintance. 
Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the Company, very much against 
her Inclination, for she was naturally tender-hearted: And, as for my self, 
although I abhorred such kind of Spectacles, yet my Curiosity tempted me 
to see something that I thought must be extraordinary. The Malefactor was 
fixed in a Chair upon a Scaffold erected for the Purpose, and his Head cut 
off at a Blow with a Sword of about forty Foot long. The Veins and 
Arteries spouted up such a prodigious Quantity of Blood, and so high in the 
Air, that the great Jett d'eau at Versailles was not equal, for the Time it 
lasted; and the Head, when it fell on the Scaffold-Floor, gave such a 
Bounce, as made me start, although I were at least half an English Mile 
distant. 

The Queen, who often used to hear me talk of my Sea-Voyages, and took 
all Occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether I 
understood how to handle a Sail, or an Oar, and whether a little Exercise 
of Rowing might not be convenient for my Health. I answered, that I 
understood both very well: For, although my proper Employment had been 
to be Surgeon or Doctor to the Ship, yet upon a Pinch, I was forced to 
work like a common Mariner. But I could not see how this could be done 
in their Country, where the smallest Wherry was equal to a First-rate Man 
of War among us, and such a Boat as I could manage would never live in 
any of their Rivers. Her Majesty said, if I would contrive a Boat, her own 
Joiner should make it, and she would provide a Place for me to sail in. The 
Fellow was an ingenious Workman, and, by my instructions, in ten Days 
finished a Pleasure-Boat, with all its Tackling, able conveniently to hold 
eight Europeans. When it was finished, the Queen was so delighted, that she 
ran with it in her Lap to the King, who ordered it to be put in a Cistern 
full of Water, with me in it, by Way of Tryal; where I could not manage 
my two Sculls, or little Oars, for want of Room. But the Queen had before 
contrived another Project. She ordered the Joiner to make a wooden 
Trough of three hundred Foot long, fifty broad, and eight deep; which 
being well pitched to prevent leaking, was placed on the Floor along the 
Wall, in an outer Room of the Palace. It had a cock near the Bottom to let 
out the Water when it began to grow stale, and two Servants could easily 
fill it in half an Hour. Here I often used to row for my own Diversion, as 
well as that of the Queen and her Ladies, who thought themselves well 
entertained with my Skill and Agility. Sometimes I would put up my Sail, 
and then my Business was only to steer, while the Ladies gave me a Gale 
with their fans; and when they were weary, some of the pages would blow 
my Sail forward with their Breath, while I showed my Art steering 
starboard or larboard as I pleased. When I had done, Glumdalclitch always 
carried my Boat into her Closet, and hung it on a Nail to dry. 

In this Exercise I once met an Accident which had like to have cost me my 
Life: For, one of the Pages having put my Boat into the Trough, the 
Governess, who attended Glumdalclitch very officiously lifted me up to 
place me in the Boat, but I happened to slip through her Fingers, and 
should have infallibly fallen down forty Foot upon the Floor, if by the 
luckiest Chance in the World, I had not been stopp'd by a Corking-pin that 
stuck in the good Gentlewoman's Stomacher; the Head of the Pin passed 
between my Shirt and the Waistband of my Breeches, and thus I was held 
by the Middle in the Air till Glumdalclitch ran to my Relief. 

Another Time, one of the Servants, whose Office it was to fill my Trough 
every third Day with fresh Water, was so careless to let a huge Frog (not 
perceiving it) slip out of his Pail. The Frog lay concealed till I was put into 
my Boat, but then seeking a resting Place, climbed up, and made it lean so 
much on one Side, that I was forced to balance it with all my Weight on the 
other, to prevent overturning. When the Frog was got in, it hopped at once 
half the Length of the Boat, and then over my Head, backwards and 
forwards, daubing my face and Clothes with its odious Slime. The 
Largeness of its Features made it appear the most deformed Animal that 
can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it 
alone. I banged it a good while with one of my Sculls, and at last forced it 
to leap out of the Boat. 

But the greatest Danger I ever underwent in that Kingdom was from a 
Monkey, who belonged to one of the Clerks of the Kitchen. Glumdalclitch 
had locked me up in her Closet, while she went somewhere upon Business, 
or a Visit. The Weather being very warm, the Closet-Window was left 
open, as well as the Windows and the Door of my bigger Box, in which I 
usually lived, because of its Largeness and Conveniency. As I sat quietly 
meditating at my Table, I heard something bounce in at the Closet-
Window, and skip about from one Side to the other; whereat, although I 
was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not stirring from my 
Seat; and then I saw this frolicksome Animal, frisking and leaping up and 
down, till at last he came to my Box, which he seemed to view with great 
Pleasure and Curiosity, peeping in at the Door and every Window. I 
retreated to the farther Corner of my Room, or Box, but the Monkey 
looking in at every Side, put me into such a Fright, that I wanted Presence 
of Mind to conceal my self under the Bed, as I might easily have done. 
After some Time spent in peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at last 
espied me, and reaching one of his Paws in at the Door, as a Cat does when 
she plays with a Mouse, although I often shifted Place to avoid him, he at 
Length seized the Lappet of my Coat (which being made of that Country 
Cloth, was very thick and strong,) and dragged me out. He took me up in 
his right Fore-foot, and held me as a Nurse does a Child she is going to 
suckle, just as I have seen the same sort of Creature do with a Kitten in 
Europe: And when I offered to struggle, he squeezed me so hard, that I 
thought it more prudent to submit. I have good Reason to believe that he 
took me for a young one of his own Species, by his often stroaking my 
Face very gently with his other Paw. In these Diversions he was 
interrupted by a Noise at the Closet Door, as if some Body were opening it; 
whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the Window at which he had come in, 
and thence upon the Leads and Gutters, walking upon three Legs, and 
holding me in the fourth, till he clamber'd up to a Roof that was next to 
ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the Moment he was carrying 
me out. The poor Girl was almost distracted: That Quarter of the Palace 
was all in an uproar; the Servants ran for Ladders; the Monkey was seen by 
hundreds in the Court, sitting upon the Ridge of a Building, holding me 
like a Baby in one of his Fore-paws, and feeding me with the other, by 
cramming into my Mouth some Victuals he had squeezed out of the Bag on 
one side of his Chaps, and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many 
of the Rabble below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think they 
justly ought to be blamed, for without Question the Sight was ridiculous 
enough to every Body but my self. Some of the People threw up Stones, 
hoping to drive the Monkey down; but this was strictly forbidden, or else 
very probably my Brains had been dashed out. 

The Ladders were now applied, and mounted by several Men, which the 
Monkey observing, and finding himself almost encompassed: not being able 
to make Speed enough with his three Legs, let me drop on a Ridge-Tyle, 
and made his Escape. Here I sat for some Time, three hundred Yards from 
the Ground, expecting every Moment to be blown down by the Wind, or to 
fall by my own Giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from the 
Ridge to the Eves: But an honest Lad, one of my Nurse's Footmen, climbed 
up, and putting me into his Breeches Pocket, brought me down safe. 

I was almost choaked with the filthy Stuff the Monkey had crammed down 
my Throat: but my dear little Nurse picked it out of my Mouth with a 
small Needle, and then I fell to vomiting, which gave me great Relief. Yet I 
was so weak, and bruised in the Sides with the Squeezes given me by this 
odious Animal, that I was forced to keep my Bed a Fortnight. The King, 
Queen, and all the Court, sent every Day to enquire after my Health, and 
her Majesty made me several Visits during my Sickness. The Monkey was 
killed, and an Order made that no such Animal should be kept about the 
Palace. 

When I attended the King after my Recovery, to return him Thanks for his 
Favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this Adventure. He 
asked me what my Thoughts and Speculations were while I lay in the 
Monkey's Paw; how I liked the Victuals he gave me; his manner of feeding; 
and whether the fresh Air on the Roof had sharpen'd my Stomack. He 
desired to know what I would have done upon such an Occasion my own 
Country. I told his Majesty, that in Europe we had no Monkeys, except 
such as were brought for Curiosities from other Places, and so small that I 
could deal with a Dozen of them together, if they presumed to attack me. 
And as for that monstrous Animal with whom I was so lately engaged (it 
was indeed as large as an Elephant,) if my Fears had suffered me to think 
so far as to make use of my Hanger, (looking fiercely and clapping my 
Hand upon the Hilt as I spoke,) when he poked his Paw into my Chamber, 
perhaps I should have given him such a Wound, as would have made him 
glad to withdraw it, with more haste than he put it in. This I delivered in a 
firm Tone, like a Person who was jealous lest his Honour should be called 
in question. However, my Speech produced nothing else besides a loud 
Laughter, which all the respect due to his Majesty from those about him 
could not make them contain. This made me reflect how vain an attempt it 
is for a Man to endeavor doing himself Honour among those who are out 
of all Degree of Equality or Comparison with him. And yet I have seen the 
Moral of my own Behaviour very frequent in England since my Return, 
where a little contemptible Varlet, without the least Title to Birth, Person, 
Wit, or common Sense, shall presume to look with Importance, and put 
himself upon a Foot with the greatest Persons of the Kingdom. 

I was every Day furnishing the Court with some ridiculous Story; and 
Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to Excess, yet was arch enough to 
inform the Queen, whenever I committed any Folly that she thought would 
be diverting to her Majesty. The Girl who had been out of Order, was 
carried by her Governess to take the Air about an Hour's Distance, or 
thirty Miles from Town. They alighted out of the Coach near a small Foot-
path in a Field, and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling Box, I went 
out of it to walk. There was a Cow-Dung in the Path, and I must needs try 
my Activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a Run, but unfortunately 
jumped short, and found my self just in the Middle up to my Knees. I 
waded through with some Difficulty, and one of the Footmen wiped me as 
clean as he could with his Handkerchief; for I was filthily bemired, and my 
Nurse confined me to my Box till we returned home; where the Queen was 
soon informed of what had passed, and the Footmen spread it about the 
Court; so that all the Mirth, for some Days, was at my Expense. 

CHAPTER VI.

Several Contrivances of the Author to please the King and Queen. He shews 
his Skill in Musick. The King enquires into the State of Europe, which the 
Author relates to him. The King's Observations thereon. 

I USED to attend the King's Levee once or twice a Week, and had often 
seen him under the Barber's Hand, which indeed was at first very terrible 
to behold: For the Razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary Scythe. 
His Majesty, according to the Custom of the Country, was only shaved 
twice a Week. I once prevailed on the Barber to give me some of the Suds 
or Lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the strongest Stumps of 
Hair. I then took a Piece of fine Wood, and cut it like the back of a Comb, 
making several Holes in it at equal Distance with as small a Needle as I 
could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the Stumps so artificially, scraping 
and sloping them with my Knife toward the Points, that I made a very 
tolerable Comb; which was a seasonable Supply, my own being so much 
broken in the Teeth, that it was almost useless: Neither did I know any 
Artist in that Country so nice and exact, as would undertake to make me 
another. 

And this puts me in Mind of an Amusement wherein I spent many of my 
leisure Hours. I desired the Queen's Woman to save for me the Combings 
of her Majesty's Hair, whereof in Time I got a good Quantity, and 
consulting with my Friend the Cabinet-Maker, who had received general 
Orders to do little Jobbs for me, I directed him to make two Chair-Frames, 
no larger than those I had in my Box, and then to bore little Holes with a 
fine Awl round those Parts where I designed the Backs and Seats; through 
these Holes I wove the strongest Hairs I could pick out, just after the 
manner of Cane-Chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a 
Present of them to her Majesty, who kept them in her Cabinet, and used to 
shew them for Curiosities, as indeed they were the Wonder of every one 
that beheld them. The Queen would have had me sit upon one of these 
Chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting I would rather die a 
thousand Deaths than place a dishonourable Part of my Body on those 
precious Hairs that once adorned her Majesty's Head. Of these Hairs (as I 
had always a Mechanical Genius) I likewise made a neat little Purse about 
five Foot long, with her Majesty's Name decyphered in Gold Letters, 
which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the Queen's Consent. To say the Truth, 
it was more for Show than Use, being not of Strength to bear the Weight of 
the larger Coins, and therefore she kept nothing in it but some little Toys 
that Girls are fond of. 

The King, who delighted in Musick, had frequent Consorts at Court, to 
which I was sometimes carried, and set in my Box on a Table to hear them: 
But, the Noise was so great, that I could hardly distinguish the Tunes. I am 
confident that all the Drums and Trumpets of a Royal Army, beating and 
sounding together just at your Ears, could not equal it. My practice was to 
have my Box removed from the Places where the Performers sat, as far as 
I could, then to shut the Doors and Windows of it, and draw the Window-
Curtains; after which I found their Musick not disagreeable. 

I had learned in my Youth to play a little upon the Spinet Glumdalclitch 
kept one in her Chamber, and a Master attended twice a Week to teach her: 
I call it a Spinet, because it somewhat resembled that Instrument, and was 
play'd upon in the same Manner. A fancy came into my Head that I would 
entertain the King and Queen with an English Tune upon this Instrument. 
But this appeared extremely difficult: For, the Spinet was near sixty Foot 
long, each key being almost a Foot wide, so that, with my Arms extended, I 
could not reach to above five Keys, and to press them down required a 
good smart Stroak with my Fist, which would be too great a Labour, and 
to no Purpose. The Method I contrived was this. I prepared two round 
Sticks about the Bigness of common Cudgels; they were thicker at one End 
than the other, and I covered the thicker Ends with a Piece of a Mouse's 
Skin, that by rapping on them, I might neither damage the Tops of the 
Keys, nor interrupt the Sound. Before the Spinet a Bench was placed about 
four Foot below the Keys, and I was put upon the Bench. I ran sideling 
upon it that Way and this, as fast as I could, banging the proper Keys with 
my two Sticks, and made a Shift to play a Jigg, to the great Satisfaction of 
both their Majesties: But it was the most violent Exercise I ever underwent, 
and yet I could not strike above sixteen Keys, nor, consequently, play the 
Bass and Treble together, as other Artists do; which was a great 
Disadvantage to my Performance. 

The King, who, as I before observed, was a Prince of excellent 
Understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in my 
Box, and set upon the Table in his Closet: He would then command me to 
bring one of my Chairs out of the Box, and sit down within three Yards 
Distance upon the Top of the Cabinet, which brought me almost to a level 
with his Face. In this Manner I had several Conversations with him. I one 
Day took the Freedom to tell his Majesty, that the Contempt he discovered 
towards Europe, and the rest of the World, did not seem answerable to 
those excellent Qualities of the Mind he was Master of. That Reason did not 
extend it self with the Bulk of the Body: On the contrary, we observed in 
our Country, that the tallest Persons were usually least provided with it. 
That among other Animals, Bees and Ants had the Reputation of more 
Industry, Art and Sagacity, than many of the larger Kinds; and that, as 
inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to do his Majesty 
some signal Service. The King heard me with Attention, and began to 
conceive a much better Opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired 
I would give him as exact an Account of the Government of England, as I 
possibly could; because, as fond as Princes commonly are of their own 
Customs (for so he conjectured of other Monarchs, by my former 
Discourses), he should be glad to hear of any Thing that might deserve 
Imitation. 

Imagine with thy self, courteous Reader, how often I then wished for the 
Tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to celebrate 
the Praise of my own dear native Country in a Stile equal to its Merits and 
Felicity. 

I began my Discourse by informing his Majesty that our Dominions 
consisted of two Islands, which composed three mighty Kingdoms under 
one Sovereign, beside our Plantations in America. I dwelt long upon the 
Fertility of our Soil, and the Temperature of our Climate. I then spoke at 
large upon the Constitution of an English Parliament, partly made up of an 
illustrious Body called the House of Peers, Persons of the noblest Blood, 
and of the most ancient and ample Patrimonies. I described that 
extraordinary Care always taken of their Education in Arts and Arms, to 
qualify them for being Counsellors born to the King and Kingdom; to have 
a share in the Legislature; to be Members of the highest Court of 
Judicature, from whence there could be no Appeal; and to be Champions 
always ready for the Defence of their Prince and Country, by their Valour, 
Conduct, and Fidelity. That these were the Ornament and Bulwark of the 
Kingdom, worthy Followers of their most renowned Ancestors, whose 
Honour had been the Reward of their Virtue, from which their Posterity 
were never once known to degenerate. To these we joined several holy 
Persons, as part of that Assembly, under the Title of Bishops, whose 
peculiar Business it is to take care of Religion, and of those who instruct 
the People therein. These were searched, and sought out, through the whole 
Nation, by the Prince and his wisest Counsellors, among such of the 
Priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the Sanctity of their 
Lives, and the depth of their Erudition; who were indeed the spiritual 
Fathers of the Clergy and the People. 

That, the other Part of the Parliament consisted of an Assembly called the 
House of Commons, who were all principal Gentlemen, freely picked and 
culled out by the People themselves, for their great Abilities and Love of 
their Country, to represent the Wisdom of the whole Nation. And these two 
Bodies make up the most august Assembly in Europe, to whom, in 
Conjunction with the Prince, the whole Legislature is Committed. 

I then descended to the Courts of Justice, over which the Judges, those 
venerable Sages and Interpreters of the Law presided, for determining the 
disputed Rights and Properties of Men, as well as for the Punishment of 
Vice, and Protection of Innocence. I mentioned the prudent Management of 
our Treasury; the Valour and Atchievements of our Forces by Sea and 
Land. I computed the Number of our People, by reckoning how many 
Millions there might be of each religious Sect, or political Party among us. 
I did not omit even our Sports and Pastimes, or any other Particular which 
I thought might redound to the Honour of my Country. And I finished all 
with a brief historical Account of Affairs and Events in England for about 
an hundred Years past. 

This Conversation was not ended under five Audiences, each of several 
Hours, and the King heard the whole with great Attention, frequently 
taking Notes of what I spoke, as well as Memorandums of all Questions he 
intended to ask me. 

When I had put an End to these long Discourses, his Majesty in a sixth 
Audience consulting his Notes, proposed many Doubts, Queries, and 
Objections, upon every Article. He asked what Methods were used to 
cultivate the Minds and Bodies of our young Nobility, and in what kind of 
Business they commonly spent the first and teachable Part of their Lives. 
What Course was taken to supply that Assembly when any Noble Family 
became extinct. What Qualifications were necessary in those who were to 
be created new Lords: Whether the Humour of the Prince, a Sum of Money 
to a Court Lady or a Prime Minister, or a Design of strengthening a Party 
opposite to the publick Interest, ever happened to be Motives in those 
Advancements. What Share of Knowledge these Lords had in the Laws of 
their Country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide the 
Properties of their Fellow-Subjects in the last Resort. Whether they were 
always so free from Avarice, Partialities, or Want, that a Bribe, or some 
other sinister View, could have no Place among them. Whether those holy 
Lords I spoke of were always promoted to that Rank upon account of their 
Knowledge in religious Matters, and the Sanctity of their Lives, had never 
been Compliers with the Times while they were common Priests, or slavish 
prostitute Chaplains to some Nobleman, whose Opinions they continued 
servilely to follow after they were admitted into that Assembly. 

He then desired to know what Arts were practiced in electing those whom I 
called Commoners: Whether a Stranger with a strong Purse might not 
influence the vulgar Voters to choose him before their own Landlord, or 
the most considerable Gentleman in the Neighbourhood. How it came to 
pass, that People were so violently bent upon getting into this Assembly, 
which I allowed to be a great Trouble and Expense, often to the Ruin of 
their Families, without any Salary or Pension: Because this appeared such 
an exalted Strain of Virtue and publick Spirit, that his Majesty seemed to 
doubt it might possibly not be always sincere: and he desired to know 
whether such zealous Gentlemen could have any Views of refunding 
themselves for the Charges and Trouble they were at, by sacrificing the 
publick Good to the Designs of a weak and vicious Prince in Conjunction 
with a corrupted Ministry. He multiplied his Questions, and sifted me 
thoroughly upon every Part of this Head, proposing numberless Enquiries 
and Objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat. 

Upon what I said in relation to our Courts of Justice, his Majesty desired to 
be satisfied in several Points: And this I was the better able to do, having 
been formerly almost ruined by a long Suit in Chancery, which was 
decreed for me with Costs. He asked, what Time was usually spent in 
determining between Right and Wrong, and what Degree of Expence. 
Whether Advocates and Orators had Liberty to plead in Causes manifestly 
known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive. Whether Party in Religion or 
Politicks were observed to be of any Weight in the Scale of Justice. 
Whether those pleading Orators were Persons educated in the general 
Knowledge of Equity, or only in provincial, national, and other local 
Customs. Whether they or their Judges had any Part in penning those Laws 
which they assumed the Liberty of interpreting and glossing upon at their 
Pleasure. Whether they had ever at different Times pleaded for and against 
the same Cause, and cited Precedents to prove contrary Opinions. Whether 
they were a rich or a poor Corporation. Whether they received any 
pecuniary Reward for pleading or delivering their Opinions. And 
particularly whether they were ever admitted as Members in the lower 
Senate. 

He fell next upon the Management of our Treasury; and said, he thought 
my Memory had failed me, because I computed our Taxes at about five or 
six Millions a Year, and when I came to mention the Issues, he found they 
sometimes amounted to more than double; for the Notes he had taken were 
very particular in this Point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the 
Knowledge of our Conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be 
deceived in his Calculations. But, if what I told him were true, he was still 
at a Loss how a Kingdom could run out of its Estate like a private Person. 
He asked me, who were our Creditors; and where we should find Money to 
pay them. He wonder'd to hear me talk of such chargeable and extensive 
Wars; that certainly we must be a quarrelsome People, or live among very 
bad Neighbours, and that our Generals must needs be richer than our 
Kings. He asked what Business we had out of our own Islands, unless upon 
the Score of Trade or Treaty, or to defend the Coasts with our Fleet. 
Above all, he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing Army in 
the midst of Peace, and among a free People. He said, if we were governed 
by our own Consent in the Persons of our Representatives, he could not 
imagine of whom we were afraid, or against whom we were to fight; and 
would hear my Opinion, whether a private Man's House might not better 
be defended by himself, his Children, and Family, than by half a dozen 
rascals picked up at a venture in the Streets, for small Wages, who might 
get a hundred times more by cutting their Throats. 

He laughed at my odd Kind of Arithmetick (as he was pleased to call it) in 
reckoning the Numbers of our People by a Computation drawn from the 
several Sects among us in Religion and Politicks. He said, he knew no 
Reason, why those who entertain Opinions prejudicial to the Publick, 
should be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to conceal them. And 
as it was Tyranny in any Government to require the first, so it was 
Weakness not to enforce the second: For a Man may be allowed to keep 
poisons in his Closet, but not to vend them about for Cordials. 

He observed, that among the Diversions of our Nobility and Gentry, I had 
mentioned Gaming. He desired to know at what Age this Entertainment was 
usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how much of their Time it 
employed; whether it ever went so high as to affect their Fortunes: 
Whether mean vicious People, by their Dexterity in that Art, might not 
arrive at great Riches, and sometimes keep our very Nobles in Dependance, 
as well as habituate them to vile Companions, wholly take them from the 
Improvement of their Minds, and force them, by the Losses they have 
received, to learn and practice that infamous Dexterity upon others. 

He was perfectly astonished with the historical Account I gave him of our 
Affairs during the last Century, protesting it was only a Heap of 
Conspiracies, Rebellions, Murders, Massacres, Revolutions, Banishments, 
the very worst Effects that Avarice, Faction, Hypocrisy, Perfidiousness, 
Cruelty, Rage, Madness, Hatred, Envy, Lust, Malice, or Ambition could 
produce. 

His Majesty in another Audience was at the Pains to recapitulate the Sum of 
all I had spoken, compared the Questions he made with the Answers I had 
given; then taking me into his Hands, and stroaking me gently, delivered 
himself in these Words, which I shall never forget nor the Manner he 
spoke them in: My little Friend Grildrig, you have made a most admirable 
Panegyric upon your Country: You have clearly proved that Ignorance, 
Idleness, and Vice may be sometimes the only Ingredients for qualifying a 
Legislator: That Laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied by those 
whose Interest and Abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding 
them. I observe among you some Lines of an Institution, which in its 
Original might have been tolerable, but these half erazed, and the rest 
wholly blurred and blotted by Corruptions. It doth not appear from all you 
have said, how any one Virtue is required towards the Procurement of any 
one Station among you, much less that Men are ennobled on Account of 
their Virtue, that Priests are advanced for their Piety or Learning, Soldiers 
for their Conduct or Valour, Judges for their Integrity, Senators for the 
Love of their Country, or Counsellors for their Wisdom. As for yourself, 
(continued the King,) who have spent the greatest Part of your Life in 
Travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped 
many Vices of your Country. But by what I have gathered from your own 
Relation, and the Answers I have with much Pain wringed and extorted 
from you, I cannot but conclude the Bulk of your Natives to be the most 
pernicious Race of little odious Vermin that Nature ever suffered to crawl 
upon the Surface of the Earth. 

CHAPTER VII.

The Author's Love of his Country. He makes a Proposal of much 
Advantage to the King, which is rejected. The King's great Ignorance in 
Politicks. The Learning of the Country very imperfect and confined. Their 
Laws and millitary Affairs, and Parties in the State. 

Nothing but an extreme Love of Truth could have hinder'd me from 
concealing this Part of my Story. It was in vain to discover my 
Resentments, which were always turned into Ridicule; and I was forced to 
rest with Patience while my noble and most beloved Country was so 
injuriously treated. I am heartily sorry as any of my Readers can possibly 
be, that such an Occasion was given: But this Prince happened to be so 
curious and inquisitive upon every Particular, that it could not consist 
either with Gratitude or good Manners to refuse giving him what 
Satisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be allowed to say in my own 
Vindication, that I artfully eluded many of his Questions, and gave to every 
Point a more favourable Turn by many Degrees than the Strictness of 
Truth would allow. For I have always borne that laudable Partiality to my 
own Country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis with so much Justice 
recommends to an Historian : I would hide the Frailties and Deformities of 
my political Mother, and place her Virtues and Beauties in the most 
advantageous Light. This was my sincere Endeavour in those many 
Discourses I had with that mighty Monarch, although it unfortunately 
failed of Success. 

But great Allowances should be given to a King who lives wholly secluded 
from the rest of the World, and must therefore be altogether unacquainted 
with the Manners and Customs that most prevail in other Nations: The want 
of which Knowledge will ever produce many Prejudices, and a certain 
Narrowness of thinking, from which we and the politer Countries of 
Europe are wholly exempted. And it would be hard, indeed, if so remote a 
Prince's Notions of Virtue and Vice were to be offered as a standard for all 
Mankind. 

To confirm what I have now said, and further, to shew the miserable 
Effects of a confined Education, I shall here insert a Passage which will 
hardly obtain Belief. In hopes to ingratiate my self farther into his 
Majesty's Favour, I told him of an Invention discovered between three and 
four hundred Years ago, to make a certain Powder, into a Heap of which 
the smallest Spark of Fire falling, would kindle the whole in a Moment, 
although it were as big as a Mountain, and make it all fly up in the Air 
together, with a Noise and Agitation greater than Thunder. That a proper 
Quantity of this Powder rammed into a hollow Tube of Brass or Iron, 
according to its Bigness, would drive a Ball of Iron or Lead with such 
Violence and Speed, as nothing was able to sustain its Force. That the 
largest Balls thus discharged, would not only destroy whole Ranks of an 
Army at once, but batter the strongest Walls to the Ground, sink down 
Ships, with a Thousand Men in each, to the Bottom of the Sea; and, when 
linked together by a Chain, would cut through Masts and Rigging, divide 
hundreds of Bodies in the Middle, and lay all waste before them. That we 
often put this Powder into large hollow Balls of Iron, and discharged them 
by an Engine into some City we were besieging, which would rip up the 
Pavements, tear the Houses to pieces, burst and throw Splinters on every 
Side, dashing out the Brains of all who came near. That I knew the 
Ingredients very well, which were cheap, and common; I understood the 
Manner of compounding them, and could direct his Workmen how to make 
those Tubes of a Size proportionable to all other Things in his Majesty's 
Kingdom, and the largest need not be above an hundred Foot long; twenty 
or thirty of which Tubes, charged with the proper Quantity of Powder and 
Balls, would batter down the Walls of the strongest Town in his Dominions 
in a few Hours, or destroy the whole Metropolis, if ever it should pretend 
to dispute his absolute Commands. This I humbly offered to his Majesty, as 
a small Tribute of Acknowledgment in Return of so many Marks that I had 
received of his Royal Favour and Protection. 

The King was struck with Horror at the Description I had given of those 
terrible Engines, and the Proposal I had made. He was amazed how so 
impotent and grovelling an Insect as I (these were his Expressions) could 
entertain such inhuman Ideas, and in so Familiar a Manner as to appear 
wholly unmoved at all the Scenes of Blood and Desolation, which I had 
painted as the common Effects of those destructive Machines, whereof he 
said some evil Genius, Enemy to Mankind, must have been the first 
Contriver. As for himself, he protested that although few Things delighted 
him so much as new Discoveries in Art or in Nature, yet he would rather 
lose half his Kingdom than be privy to such a Secret, which he commanded 
me, as I valued my Life, never to mention any more. 

A strange Effect of narrow Principles and short Views! that a Prince 
possessed of every Quality which procures Veneration, Love, and Esteem; 
of strong Parts, great Wisdom, and profound Learning, endued with 
admirable Talents for Government, and almost adored by his Subjects, 
should from a nice unnecessary Scruple, whereof in Europe we can have 
no Conception, let slip an Opportunity to put into his Hands, that would 
have made him absolute Master of the Lives, the Liberties, and the 
Fortunes of his People. Neither do I say this with the least Intention to 
detract from the many Virtues of that excellent King, whose Character I 
am sensible will on this account be very much lessened in the Opinion of an 
English Reader: But I take this Defect among them to have risen from their 
Ignorance, they not having hitherto reduced Politicks into a Science, as the 
more acute Wits of Europe have done. For I remember very well, in a 
Discourse one Day with the King, when I happened to say there were 
several thousand Books among us written upon the Art of Government, it 
gave him (directly contrary to my Intention) a very mean Opinion of our 
Understandings. He professed both to abominate and despise all Mystery, 
Refinement, and Intrigue, either in a Prince or a Minister. He could not tell 
what I meant by Secrets of State, where an Enemy or some Rival Nation 
were not in the Case. He confined the Knowledge of Governing within very 
narrow Bounds; to common Sense and Reason, to Justice and Lenity, to the 
speedy Determination of civil and criminal Causes; with some other 
obvious Topicks, which are not worth considering. And, he gave it for his 
Opinion, that whoever could make two Ears of Corn, or two blades of 
Grass to grow upon a Spot of Ground where only one grew before, would 
deserve better of Mankind, and do more essential Service to his Country 
than the whole Race of Politicians put together. 

The Learning of this People is very defective, consisting only in Morality, 
History, Poetry, and Mathematicks, wherein they must be allowed to excel. 
But, the last of these is wholly applied to what may be useful in Life, to the 
Improvement of Agriculture and all mechanical Arts; so that among us it 
would be little esteemed. And as to Ideas, Entities, Abstractions and 
Transcendentals, I could never drive the least Conception into their heads. 

No Law of that Country must exceed in Words the Number of Letters in 
their Alphabet, which consists only of two and twenty. But, indeed, few of 
them extend even to that Length. They are expressed in the most plain and 
simple Terms, wherein those People are not mercurial enough to discover 
above one Interpretation: And to write a Comment upon any Law is a 
capital Crime. As to the Decision of civil Causes, or Proceedings against 
Criminals, their Precedents are so few, that they have little Reason to boast 
of any extraordinary Skill in either. 

They have had the Art of Printing, as well as the Chinese, Time out of 
mind: But their Libraries are not very large; for that of the King's which is 
reckoned the biggest, doth not amount to above a thousand Volumes, placed 
in a Gallery twelve hundred Foot long, from whence I had Liberty to 
borrow what Books I pleased. The Queen's Joiner had contrived in one of 
Glumdalclitch's Rooms a kind of wooden Machine five and twenty Foot 
high, formed like a standing Ladder; the Steps were each fifty Foot long: It 
was indeed a moveable Pair of Stairs, the lowest End placed at ten Foot 
Distance from the Wall of the Chamber. The Book I had a Mind to read 
was put up leaning against the Wall: I first mounted to the upper Step of 
the Ladder, and turning my Face towards the Book, began at the Top of the 
Page, and so walking to the Right and Left about eight or ten Paces, 
according to the Length of the Lines, till I had gotten a little below the 
Level of mine Eyes, and then descending gradually till I came to the 
Bottom: After which I mounted again, and began the other Page in the 
same manner, and so turned over the Leaf, which I could easily do with 
both my Hands, for it was as thick and stiff as Paste-board, and in the 
largest Folio's not above eighteen or twenty Foot long. 

Their Stile is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid, for they avoid 
nothing more than multiplying unnecessary Words, or using various 
Expressions. I have perused many of their Books, especially those in 
History and Morality. Among the rest I was much diverted with a little old 
Treatise, which always lay in Glumdalclitch's Bed-Chamber, and belonged 
to her Governess, a grave elderly Gentlewoman, who dealt in Writings of 
Morality and Devotion. The Book treats of the Weakness of Human Kind, 
and is in little Esteem, except among the Women and the Vulgar. However, 
I was curious to see what an Author of that Country could say upon such a 
Subject. This Writer went through all the usual Topicks of European 
Moralists, shewing how diminutive, contemptible, and helpless an Animal 
was Man in his own Nature; how unable to defend himself from the 
Inclemencies of the Air, or the Fury of wild Beasts: How much he was 
excelled by one Creature in Strength, by another in Speed, by a third in 
Foresight, by a fourth in Industry. He added, that Nature was degenerated 
in these latter declining Ages of the World, and could now produce only 
small abortive Births in comparison of those in ancient Times. He said, it 
was very reasonable to think, not only that the Species of Men were 
originally much larger, but also, that there must have been Giants in 
former Ages, which, as it is asserted by History and Tradition, so it has 
been confirmed by huge Bones and Skulls casually dug up in several Parts 
of the Kingdom, far exceeding the common dwindled Race of Man in our 
Days. He argued, that the very Laws of Nature absolutely required we 
should have been made in the Beginning, of a Size more large and robust, 
not so liable to Destruction from every little Accident of a Tile falling 
from an House, or a Stone cast from the Hand of a Boy, or of being 
drowned in a little Brook. From this way of Reasoning, the Author drew 
several moral Applications useful in the Conduct of Life, but needless here 
to repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid reflecting how universally 
this Talent was spread, of drawing Lectures in Morality, or, indeed, rather 
Matter of Discontent and Repining, from the Quarrels we raise with 
Nature. And, I believe, upon a strict Enquiry, those Quarrels might be 
shewn as ill-grounded among us, as they are among that People. 

As to their Military Affairs, they boast that the King's Army consists of an 
hundred and seventy six thousand Foot, and thirty two thousand Horse: If 
that may be called an Army which is made up of Tradesmen in the several 
Cities, and Farmers in the Country, whose Commanders are only the 
Nobility and Gentry, without Pay or Reward. They are, indeed, perfect 
enough in their Exercises, and under very good Discipline, wherein I saw 
no great Merit; for how should it be otherwise, where every Farmer is 
under the Command of his own Landlord, and every Citizen under that of 
the principal Men in his own City, chosen after the Manner of Venice by 
Ballot? 

I have often seen the Militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise in a 
great Field near the City, of twenty Miles square. They were, in all, not 
above twenty five thousand Foot, and six thousand Horse; but it was 
impossible for me to compute their Number, considering the space of 
Ground they took up. A Cavalier mounted on a large Steed, might be about 
one hundred Foot high. I have seen this whole Body of Horse, upon a 
Word of Command, draw their Swords at once, and brandish them in the 
Air. Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so 
astonishing: It looked as if ten thousand Flashes of Lightning were darting 
at the same Time from every Quarter of the Sky. 

I was curious to know how this Prince, to whose Dominions there is no 
Access from any other Country, came to think of Armies, or to teach his 
People the Practice of military Discipline. But I was soon informed, both 
by Conversation and reading their Histories: For, in the Course of many 
Ages they have been troubled with the same Disease, to which the whole 
race of Mankind is subject; the Nobility often contending for Power, the 
People for Liberty, and the King for absolute Dominion. All which, 
however, happily tempered by the Laws of the Kingdom, have been 
sometimes violated by each of the three Parties, and have once or more 
occasioned Civil Wars, the last whereof was happily put an End to by this 
Prince's Grandfather by a general Composition; and the Militia, then 
settled with common Consent, has been ever since kept in the strictest Duty. 

CHAPTER VIII.

The King and Queen make a Progress to the Frontiers. The Author attends 
them. The Manner in which he leaves the Country very particularly 
related. He returns to England. 

I had always a strong Impulse that I should some Time recover my 
Liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture by what Means, or to form 
any Project with the least Hope of succeeding. The Ship in which I sailed 
was the first ever known to be driven within Sight of that Coast, and the 
King had given strict Orders, that if at any time another appeared, it should 
be taken ashore, and, with all its Crew and Passengers brought in a 
Tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was strongly bent to get me a Woman of my 
own Size, by whom I might propagate the Breed: But, I think I should 
rather have died than undergone the Disgrace of leaving a Posterity to be 
kept in Cages like tame Canary Birds, and perhaps, in Time, sold about the 
Kingdom to Persons of Quality for Curiosities. I was, indeed, treated with 
much Kindness: I was the Favourite of a great King and Queen, and the 
Delight of the whole Court, but it was upon such a Foot as ill became the 
Dignity of Human Kind. I could never forget those domestick Pledges I had 
left behind me. I wanted to be among People with whom I could converse 
upon even Terms, and walk about the Streets and Fields without Fear of 
being trodden to Death like a Frog or a young Puppy. But my Deliverance 
came sooner than I expected, and, in a Manner not very common: The 
whole Story and Circumstances of which, I shall faithfully relate. 

I had now been two Years in this Country; and, about the Beginning of the 
third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the King and Queen in a Progress to the 
South Coast of the Kingdom. I was carried, as usual, in my Travelling-
Box, which, as I have already described, was a very convenient Closet of 
twelve Foot wide. And I had ordered a Hammock to be fixed by silken 
Ropes from the four Corners at the Top, to break the Jolts, when a Servant 
carried me before him on Horseback, as I sometimes desired, and would 
often sleep in my Hammock while we were upon the Road. On the Roof of 
my Closet, not directly over the middle of the Hammock, I ordered the 
Joyner to cut out a hole a Foot square, to give me Air in hot Weather, as I 
slept; which Hole I shut, at Pleasure, with a Board that drew backwards and 
forwards through a Groove. 

When we came to our Journey's End, the King thought proper to pass a 
few Days at a Palace he hath near Flanflasnic, a City within eighteen 
English Miles of the Sea-side. Glumdalclitch and I were much fatigued; I 
had gotten a small Cold, but the poor Girl was so ill as to be confined to 
her Chamber. I longed to see the Ocean, which must be the only Scene of 
my Escape, if ever it should happen. I pretended to be worse than I really 
was, and desired Leave to take the fresh Air of the Sea, with a Page whom 
I was very fond of, and who had sometimes been trusted with me. I shall 
never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch consented, nor the 
strict Charge she gave the Page to be careful of me, bursting at the same 
Time into a Flood of Tears, as if she had some Foreboding of what was to 
happen. The Boy took me out in my Box about half an hours Walk from 
the Palace towards the Rocks on the Sea-shore. I ordered him to set me 
down, and lifting up one of my Sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy 
Look towards the Sea. I found my self not very well, and told the Page that 
I had a Mind to take a Nap in my Hammock, which I hoped would do me 
good. I got in, and the Boy shut the Window close down to keep out the 
Cold. I soon fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is, that while I slept, the 
Page, thinking no Danger could happen, went among the Rocks to look for 
Bird's Eggs, having before observed him from my Window searching 
about, and picking up one or two in the Clefts. Be that as it will, I found 
my self suddenly awaked with a violent Pull upon the Ring which was 
fastened at the Top of my Box for the Conveniency of Carriage. I felt my 
Box raised very high in the Air, and then born forward with prodigious 
Speed. The first Jolt had like to have shaken me out of my Hammock, but 
afterwards the Motion was easy enough. I called out several Times as loud 
as I could raise my Voice, but all to no Purpose. I looked towards my 
Windows, and could see nothing but the Clouds and Sky. I heard a Noise 
just over my Head like the clapping of Wings, and then began to perceive 
the woful Condition I was in, that some Eagle had got the Ring of my Box 
in his Beak, with an Intent to let it fall on a Rock like a Tortoise in a Shell, 
and then pick out my Body, and devour it. For the Sagacity and Smell of 
this Bird enable him to discover his Quarry at a great Distance, though 
better concealed than I could be within a Two-Inch Board. 

In a little Time I observed the Noise of Flutter of Wings to increase very 
fast, and my Box was tossed up and down, like a Sign-Post on a windy Day. 
I heard several Bangs or Buffets, as I thought, given to the Eagle, (for such 
I am certain it must have been that held the Ring of my Box in his Beak,) 
and then all on a sudden felt my self falling perpendicularly down for 
above a Minute, but with such incredible Swiftness that I almost lost my 
Breath. My Fall was stopped by a terrible Squash, that sounded louder to 
mine Ears than the Cataract of Niagara; after which I was quite in the dark 
for another Minute, and then my Box began to rise so high that I could see 
Light from the Tops of my Windows. I now perceived that I was fallen 
into the Sea. My Box, by the Weight of my Body, the Goods that were in, 
and the broad Plates of Iron fixed for Strength at the four Corners of the 
Top and Bottom, floated about five Foot deep in Water. I did then, and do 
now, suppose that the Eagle which flew away with my Box was pursued by 
two or three others, and forced to let me drop while he was defending 
himself against the rest, who hoped to share in the Prey. The Plates of Iron 
fasten'd at the Bottom of the Box (for those were the strongest) preserved 
the Balance while it fell, and hinder'd it from being broken on the Surface 
of the Water. Every Joint of it was well grooved; and the Door did not 
move on Hinges, but up and down like a Sash, which kept my Closet so 
tight that very little Water came in. I got with much Difficulty out of my 
Hammock, having first ventured to draw back the Slip-board on the Roof 
already mentioned, contrived on Purpose to let in Air, for want of which I 
found my self almost stifled. 

How often did I then wish my self with my dear Glumdalclitch, from 
whom one single Hour had so far divided me! And I may say, with Truth, 
that in the midst of my own Misfortunes I could not forbear lamenting my 
poor Nurse, the Grief she would suffer for my Loss, the Displeasure of the 
Queen, and the Ruin of her Fortune. Perhaps many Travellers have not 
been under greater Difficulties and Distress than I was at this Juncture, 
expecting every Moment to see my Box dashed in Pieces, or at least overset 
by the first violent Blast, or a rising Wave. A Breach in one single Pane of 
Glass would have been immediate Death: Nor could anything have 
preserved the Windows, but the strong Lettice-Wires placed on the out-side 
against Accidents in Travelling. I saw the Water ooze in at several 
Crannies, although the Leaks were not considerable, and I endeavoured to 
stop them as well as I could. I was not able to lift up the Roof of my Closet, 
which otherwise I certainly should have done, and sate on the Top of it, 
where I might, at least, preserve my self some Hours longer than by being 
shut up, as I may call it, in the Hold. Or if I escaped these Dangers, for a 
Day or two, what could I expect but a miserable Death of Cold and 
Hunger! I was four Hours under these Circumstances, expecting, and 
indeed wishing, every Moment to be my last. 

I have already told the Reader, that there were two strong Staples fixed 
upon that Side of my Box which had no Window, and into which the 
Servant who used to carry me on horseback would put a leathern Belt, and 
buckle it about his Waste. Being in this disconsolate State, I heard, or at 
least thought, I heard some kind of grating Noise on that Side of my Box 
where the Staples were fixed, and soon after I began to fancy that the Box 
was pulled, or towed along in the Sea; for I now and then felt a sort of 
tugging, which made the Waves rise near the Tops of my Windows, leaving 
me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint Hopes of Relief, although I 
was not able to imagine how it could be brought about. I ventured to 
unscrew one of my Chairs, which were always fastned to the Floor; and 
having made a hard Shift to screw it down again directly under the slipping 
Board that I had lately opened, I mounted on the Chair, and, putting my 
Mouth as near as I could to the Hole, I called for Help in a loud Voice, and 
in all the Languages I understood. I then fastned my Handkerchief to a 
Stick I usually carried, and thrusting it up the Hole, waved it several Times 
in the Air, that if any Boat or Ship were near, the Seamen might conjecture 
some unhappy Mortal to be shut up in the Box. 

I found no Effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my Closet to 
be moved along; and in the Space of an Hour, or better, that side of the 
Box where the Staples were, and had no Window, struck against something 
that was hard. I apprehended it to be a Rock, and found my self tossed 
more than ever. I plainly heard a Noise upon the Cover of my Closet, like 
that of a Cable, and the grating of it as it passed through the Ring. I then 
found my self hoisted up by Degrees, at least three Foot higher than I was 
before. Whereupon, I again thrust up my Stick and Handkerchief, calling 
for Help till I was almost hoarse. In return to which, I heard a great Shout 
repeated three Times, giving me such Transports of Joy, as are not to be 
conceived but by those who feel them. I now heard a Trampling over my 
Head, and somebody calling through the Hole with a loud Voice in the 
English Tongue, If there be any Body below, let them speak. I answered, I 
was an Englishman, drawn by ill Fortune into the greatest Calamity that 
ever any Creature underwent, and begged by all that was moving, to be 
delivered out of the Dungeon I was in. The Voice replied, I was safe, for 
my Box was fasten'd to their Ship; and the Carpenter should immediately 
come and saw an Hole in the Cover, large enough to pull me out. I 
answered, that was needless, and would take up too much Time, for there 
was no more to be done, but let one of the Crew put his Finger into the 
Ring, and take the Box out of the Sea into the Ship, and so into the 
Captain's Cabbin. Some of them upon hearing me talk so wildly, thought I 
was mad; others laughed; for indeed it never came into my Head that I was 
now among People of my own Stature and Strength. The Carpenter came, 
and in a few Minutes sawed a Passage about four Foot square, then let 
down a small Ladder, upon which I mounted, and from thence was taken 
into the Ship in a very weak Condition. 

The Sailors were all in Amazement, and asked me a thousand Questions, 
which I had no Inclination to answer. I was equally confounded at the Sight 
of so many Pigmies, for such I took them to be, after having so long 
accustomed mine Eyes to the monstrous Objects I had left. But the Captain, 
Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an honest worthy Shropshire Man, observing I was 
ready to faint, took me into his Cabbin, gave me a Cordial to comfort me, 
and made me turn in upon his own Bed, advising me to take a little Rest, of 
which I had great Need. Before I went to sleep I gave him to understand 
that I had some valuable Furniture in my Box too good to be lost; a fine 
Hammock, an handsome Field-Bed, two Chairs, a Table, and a Cabinet: 
That my Closet was hung on all Sides, or rather quilted with Silk and 
Cotton : That if he would let one of the Crew bring my Closet into his 
Cabbin, I would open it there before him, and shew him my Goods. The 
Captain hearing me utter these Absurdities, concluded I was raving: 
However, (I suppose to pacify me,) he promised to give Order as I desired, 
and going upon Deck sent some of his Men down into my Closet, from 
whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up all my Goods, and stripped 
off the quilting; but the Chairs, Cabinet, and Bed-sted, being screwed to the 
Floor, were much damaged by the Ignorance of the Seamen, who tore them 
up by Force. Then they knocked off some of the Boards for the Use of the 
Ship, and when they had got all they had a mind for, let the Hulk drop into 
the Sea, which by Reason of many Breaches made in the Bottom and Sides, 
sunk to rights. And indeed I was glad not to have been a Spectator of the 
Havock they made; because I am confident it would have sensibly touched 
me, by bringing former Passages into my Mind, which I had rather forget. 

I slept some Hours, but perpetually disturbed with Dreams of the Place I 
had left, and the Dangers I had escaped. However, upon waking I found my 
self much recovered. It was now about eight a-Clock at Night, and the 
Captain ordered Supper immediately, thinking I had already fasted too 
long. He entertained me with great Kindness, observing me not to look 
wildly, or talk inconsistently; and when we were left alone, desired I would 
give him a Relation of my Travels, and by what Accident I came to be set 
adrift in that monstrous wooden Chest. He said, that about twelve a Clock 
at Noon, as he was looking through his Glass, he spied it at a Distance, and 
thought it was a Sail, which he had a Mind to make, being not much out of 
his Course, in hopes of buying some Biscuit, his own beginning to fall 
short. That upon coming nearer, and finding his Error, he sent out his 
Long-Boat to discover what I was; that his Men came back in a Fright, 
swearing they had seen a swimming House. That he laughed at their Folly, 
and went himself in the Boat, ordering his Men to take a strong Cable 
along with them. That the Weather being calm, he rowed round me several 
Times, observed my Windows, and the Wire-Lattices that defended them. 
That he discovered two Staples upon one Side, which was all of Boards, 
without any Passage for Light. He then commanded his Men to row up to 
that Side, and fastening a Cable to one of the Staples, ordered them to tow 
my Chest (as they called it) towards the Ship. When it was there, he gave 
Directions to fasten another Cable to the Ring fixed in the Cover, and to 
raise up my Chest with Pullies, which all the Sailors were not able to do 
above two or three Foot. He said, they saw my Stick and Handkerchief 
thrust out of the Hole, and concluded that some unhappy Men must be shut 
up in the Cavity. I asked whether he or the Crew had seen any prodigious 
Birds in the Air about the Time he first discovered me. To which he 
answered, that discoursing this Matter with the Sailors while I was asleep, 
one of them said he had observed three Eagles flying towards the North, 
but remarked nothing of their being larger than the usual Size, which I 
suppose must be imputed to the great Height they were at; and he could not 
guess the Reason of my Question. I then asked the Captain how far he 
reckoned we might be from Land; he said, by the best Computation he 
could make, we were at least an hundred Leagues. I assured him, that he 
must be mistaken by almost half, for I had not left the Country from where 
I came above two Hours before I dropt into the Sea. Whereupon he began 
again to think that my Brain was disturbed, of which he gave me a Hint, 
and advised me to go to Bed in a Cabbin he had provided. I assured him I 
was well refreshed with his good Entertainment and Company, and as 
much in my Senses as ever I was in my Life. He then grew serious, and 
desired to ask me freely whether I were not troubled in Mind by the 
Consciousness of some enormous Crime, for which I was punished at the 
Command of some Prince, by exposing me in that Chest, as great Criminals 
in other Countries have been forced to Sea in a leaky Vessel without 
Provisions: For although he should be sorry to have taken so ill a Man into 
his Ship, yet he would engage his Word to set me safe on Shore in the first 
Port where we arrived. He added, that his Suspicions were much increased 
by some very absurd Speeches I had delivered at first to the Sailors, and 
afterwards to himself, in Relation to my Closet or Chest, as well as by my 
odd Looks and Behaviour while I was at Supper. 

I begged his Patience to hear me tell my Story, which I faithfully did from 
the last time I left England to the Moment he first discovered me. And as 
Truth always forceth its Way into rational Minds, so this honest worthy 
Gentleman, who had some Tincture of Learning, and very good Sense, was 
immediately convinced of my Candour and Veractiy. But further to 
confirm all I had said, I entreated him to give Order that my Cabinet 
should be brought, of which I had the Key in my Pocket, (for he had 
already informed me how the Seamen disposed of my Closet.) I opened it 
in his own Presence, and shewed him the small Collection of Rarities I 
made in the Country from whence I had been so strangely delivered. There 
was a Comb I had contrived out of the Stumps of the King's Beard, and 
another of the same Materials, but fixed into a Paring of her Majesty's 
Thumb-nail, which served for the Back. There was a Collection of Needles 
and Pins from a Foot to half a Yard long: Four Wasp Stings, like Joiners 
Tacks: Some Combings of the Queen's Hair: A gold Ring which one Day 
she made me a Present of in a most obliging Manner, taking it from her 
little Finger, and throwing it over my Head like a Collar. I desired the 
Captain would please to accept this Ring in return of his Civilities, which 
he absolutely refused. I shewed him a Corn that I had cut off with my own 
Hand, from a Maid of Honour's Toe, it was about the Bigness of a Kentish 
Pippin, and grown so hard that when I returned to England, I got it 
hollowed into a Cup, and set in Silver. Lastly, I desired him to see the 
Breeches I had then on, which were made of a Mouse's Skin. 

I could force nothing on him but a Footman's Tooth, which I observed him 
to examine with great Curiosity, and found he had a fancy for it. He 
received it with Abundance of Thanks, more than such a Trifle could 
deserve. It was drawn by an unskillful Surgeon in a Mistake, from one of 
Glumdalclitch's Men, who was afflicted with the Tooth-ach, but it was as 
sound as any in his Head. I got it cleaned, and put it into my Cabinet. It was 
about a Foot long, and four Inches in Diameter. 

The Captain was very well satisfied with this plain Relation I had given 
him, and said, he hoped when we returned to England, I would oblige the 
World by putting it in Paper, and making it publick. My Answer was, that 
I thought we were already overstocked with Books of Travels: That 
nothing could now pass which was not extraordinary; wherein I doubted 
some Authors less consulted Truth than their own Vanity, or Interest, or 
the Diversion of ignorant Readers. That my Story could contain little 
besides common Events, without those ornamental Descriptions of strange 
Plants, Trees, Birds, and other Animals, or of the barbarous Customs and 
Idolatry of savage People, with which most Writers abound. However, I 
thanked him for his good Opinion, and promised to take the Matter into my 
Thoughts. 

He said, he wondered at one Thing very much, which was, to hear me 
speak so loud, asking me whether the King or Queen of that Country were 
thick of Hearing. I told him, it was what I had been used to for above two 
Years past; and that I admired as much at the Voices of him and his Men, 
who seemed to me only to whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. 
But when I spoke in that Country, it was like a Man talking in the Street to 
another looking out from the Top of a flteeple, unless when I was placed 
on a Table, or held in any Person's Hand, I told him, I had likewise 
observed another Thing, that when I first got into the Ship, and the Sailors 
stood all about me, I thought they were the most little contemptible 
Creatures I had ever beheld. For, indeed, while I was in that Prince's 
Country, I could never endure to look in a Glass after mine Eyes had been 
accustomed to such prodigious Objects, because the Comparison gave me so 
despicable a Conceit of my self. The Captain said, that while we were at 
Supper, he observed me look at every Thing with a sort of Wonder, and 
that I often seemed hardly able to contain my Laughter, which he knew not 
well how to take, but imputed it to some Disorder in my Brain. I answered, 
it was very true; and I wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his 
Dishes of the Size of a silver Three-pence, a Leg of Pork hardly a 
Mouthful, a Cup not so big as a Nutshell; and so I went on, describing the 
rest of his Houshold-stuff and Provisions after the same Manner. For 
although the Queen had ordered a little Equipage of all things necessary for 
me while I was in her Service, yet my Ideas were wholly taken up with 
what I saw on every side of me, and I winked at my own Littleness as 
People do at their own faults. The Captain understood my Raillery very 
well, and merrily replied with the old English Proverb, that he doubted 
mine Eyes were bigger than my Belly, for he did not observe my Stomach 
so good, although I had fasted all Day; and continuing in his Mirth, 
protested he would have gladly given an hundred Pounds to have seen my 
Closet in the Eagle's Bill, and afterwards in its fall from so great an height 
into the Sea; which would certainly have been a most astonishing Object, 
worthy to have the Description of it transmitted to future Ages: And the 
Comparison of Phaeton was so obvious, that he could not forbear applying 
it, although I did not much admire the Conceit. 

The Captain having been at Tonquin was in his return to England driven 
North eastward to the Latitude of 44 Degrees, and of Longitude 143. But 
meeting a Trade Wind two Days after I came on board him, we sailed 
Southward a long time, and coasting New-Holland kept our Course West-
south-west, and then South-south-west till we doubled the Cape of Good-
hope. Our Voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not trouble the Reader 
with a Journal of it. The Captain called in at one or two Ports and sent in 
his Long-boat for Provisions and fresh Water, but I never went out of the 
Ship till we came into the Downs, which was on the 3d. Day of June 1706, 
about nine Months after my Escape. I offered to leave my Goods in 
Security for Payment of my Freight; but the Captain protested he would 
not receive one Farthing. We took kind leave of each other, and I made 
him promise he would come to see me at my House in Redriff. I hired a 
Horse and Guide for five Shillings, which I borrowed of the Captain. 

As I was on the Road, observing the Littleness of the Houses, the Trees, the 
Cattle and the People, I began to think my self in Lilliput. I was afraid of 
trampling on every Traveller I met, and often called aloud to have them 
stand out of the way, so that I had like to have gotten one or two broken 
Heads for my impertinence. 

When I came to my own House, for which I was forced to enquire, one of 
the Servants opening the Door, I bent down to go in (like a Gooss under a 
Gate) for fear of striking my Head. My Wife ran out to embrace me, but I 
stooped lower than her Knees, thinking she could otherwise never be able 
to reach my Mouth. My Daughter kneeled to ask me blessing, but I could 
not see her till she arose, having been so long used to stand with my Head 
and Eyes erect to above sixty Foot; and then I went to take her up with one 
Hand, by the Waste. I looked down upon the Servants, and one or two 
Friends who were in the House, as if they had been Pigmies, and I a Giant. 
I told my Wife, she had been too thrifty, for I found she had starved 
herself and her Daughter to nothing. In short, I behaved my self so 
unaccountably, that they were all of the Captain's Opinion when he first 
saw me, and concluded I had lost my Wits. This I mention as an Instance of 
the great Power of Habit and Prejudice. 

In a little time I and my Family and Friends came to a right Understanding: 
But my Wife protested I should never go to Sea any more; although my 
evil Destiny so ordered that she had not Power to hinder me, as the Reader 
may know hereafter. In the mean time I here conclude the Second Part of 
my unfortunate Voyages. 

THE END OF THE SECOND PART.

PART III:  A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, LUGGNAGG, 
GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN

                           [Plate III: Laputa]

CHAPTER I.

The Author sets out on his Third Voyage; is taken by Pyrates. The Malice 
of a Dutchman. His Arrival at an Island. He is received into Laputa. 

I HAD NOT been at home above ten Days, when Captain William 
Robinson, a Cornish Man, Commander of the Hope-well, a stout Ship of 
three Hundred Tuns, came to my House. I had formerly been Surgeon of 
another Ship where he was Master, and a fourth Part Owner, in a Voyage 
to the Levant. He had always treated me more like a Brother than an 
inferior Officer; and hearing of my Arrival made me a Visit, as I 
apprehended only out of Friendship, for nothing passed more than what is 
usual after long Absences. But repeating his Visits often, expressing his Joy 
to find me in good Health, asking whether I were now settled for Life, 
adding that he intended a Voyage to the East-Indies, in two Months, at last 
he plainly invited me, though with some Apololgies, to be Surgeon of the 
Ship. That I should have another Surgeon under me, besides our two 
Mates; that my Salary should be double to the usual Pay; and that having 
experienced my Knowledge in Sea-Affairs to be at least equal to his, he 
would enter into any Engagement to follow my Advice, as much as if I had 
Share in the Command. 

He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so honest a 
Man, that I could not reject his Proposal; the Thirst I had of seeing the 
World, notwithstanding my past Misfortunes, continuing as violent as ever. 
The only Difficulty that remained, was to persuade my Wife, whose 
Consent however I at last obtained by the Prospect of Advantage she 
proposed to her Children. 

We set out the 5th Day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St. George, 
the 11th of April 1707. We stayed there three Weeks to refresh our Crew, 
many of whom were sick. From thence we went to Tonquin, where the 
Captain resolved to continue some Time; because many of the Goods he 
intended to buy were not ready, nor could he expect to be dispatched in 
several Months. Therefore in hopes to defray some of the Charges he must 
be at, he bought a Sloop, loaded it with several Sorts of Goods, wherewith 
the Tonquinese usually trade to the neighbouring Islands; and putting 
Fourteen Men on Board, whereof three were of the Country, he appointed 
me Master of the Sloop, and gave me Power to traffick, while he transacted 
his Affairs at Tonquin. 

We had not sailed above three Days, when a great Storm arising, we were 
driven five Days to the North-North-East, and then to the East; after which 
we had fair Weather, but still with a pretty strong Gale from the West. 
Upon the tenth Day we were chased by two Pyrates, who soon overtook us; 
for my Sloop was so deep loaden, that she sailed very slow; neither were 
we in a Condition to defend our selves. 

We were boarded about the same Time by both the Pyrates, who entered 
furiously at the Head of their Men; but finding us all prostrate upon our 
Faces (for so I gave Order,) they pinioned us with strong Ropes, and 
setting a Guard upon us, went to search the Sloop. 

I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some Authority, 
though he were not Commander of either Ship. He knew us by our 
Countenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in his own Language, 
swore we should be tyed Back to Back, and thrown into the Sea. I spoke 
Dutch tolerably well; I told him who we were, and begged him in 
consideration of our being Christians and Protestants, of neighbouring 
Countries, in strict Alliance, that he would move the Captains to take some 
Pity on us. This inflamed his Rage; he repeated his Threatnings, and 
turning to his Companions, spoke with great Vehemence, in the Japanese 
Language, as I suppose; often using the Word Christianos. 

The largest of the two Pyrate Ships was commanded by a Japanese Captain, 
who spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came up to me, and 
after several Questions, which I answered in great Humility, he said we 
should not die. I made the Captain a very low Bow, and then turning to the 
Dutchman , said, I was sorry to find more Mercy in a Heathen, than in a 
Brother Christian. But I had soon Reason to repent those foolish Words; 
for that malicious Reprobate, having often endeavoured in vain to persuade 
both the Captains that I might be thrown into the Sea (which they would 
not yield to after the promise made me, that I should not die), however 
prevailed so far as to have a Punishment inflicted on me, worse in all 
human Appearance than Death it self. My Men were sent by an equal 
Division into both the Pyrate-Ships, and my Sloop new manned. As to my 
self, it was determined that I should be set a-drift, in a small Canoe, with 
Paddles and a Sail, and four Days Provisions; which last the Japanese 
Captain was so kind to double out of his own Stores, and would permit no 
Man to Search me. I got down into the Canoe, while the Dutchman standing 
upon the Deck, loaded me with all the Curses and injurious Terms his 
Language could afford. 

About an Hour before we saw the Pyrates, I had taken an Observation, and 
found we were in the Latitude of 46 N. and of longitude 183. When I was 
at some Distance from the Pyrates, I discovered by my Pocket-Glass 
several Islands to the South-East. I set up my Sail, the Wind being fair, 
with a Design to reach the nearest of those Islands, which I made a Shift to 
do in about three Hours. It was all rocky; however I got many Birds Eggs; 
and striking Fire, I kindled some Heath and dry Sea Weed, by which I 
roasted my Eggs. I eat no other Supper, being resolved to spare my 
Provisions as much as I could. I passed the Night under the Shelter of a 
Rock, strowing some Heath under me, and slept pretty well. 

The next Day I sailed to another Island, and thence to a third and fourth, 
sometimes using my Sail, and sometimes my Paddles. But not to trouble the 
Reader with a particular Account of my Distresses; let it suffice that on the 
5th Day, I arrived at the last Island in my Sight, which lay South-South-
East to the former. 

This Island was at a greater Distance than I expected, and I did not reach it 
in less than five Hours. I encompassed it almost round before I could find a 
convenient Place to land in, which was a small Creek, about three Times 
the Wideness of my Canoe. I found the Island to be all rocky, only a little 
intermingled with Tufts of Grass and sweet smelling Herbs. I took out my 
small Provisions, and after having refreshed myself, I secured the 
Remainder in a Cave, whereof there were great Numbers. I gathered 
plenty of Eggs upon the Rocks, and got a Quantity of dry Seaweed and 
parched Grass, which I designed to kindle the next Day, and roast my Eggs 
as well as I could. (For I had about me my Flint, Steel, Match, and 
Burning-glass.) I lay all Night in the Cave where I had lodged my 
Provisions. My Bed was the same dry Grass and Sea-weed which I intended 
for Fewel. I slept very little; for the Disquiets of my Mind prevailed over 
my Wearyness, and kept me awake. I considered how impossible it was to 
preserve my Life, in so desolate a Place; and how miserable my End must 
be. Yet I found my self so listless and desponding that I had not the Heart 
to rise; and before I could get Spirits enough to creep out of my Cave, the 
Day was far advanced. I walked a while among the Rocks, the Sky was 
perfectly clear, and the Sun so hot, that I was forced to turn my Face from 
it: When all of a Sudden it became obscured, as I thought, in a Manner 
very different from what happens by the Interposition of a Cloud. I turned 
back, and perceived a vast Opake Body between me and the Sun, moving 
forwards towards the Island: It seemed to be about two Miles high, and hid 
the Sun six or seven Minutes, but I did not observe the Air to be much 
colder, or the Sky more darkned, than if I had stood under the shade of a 
Mountain. As it approached nearer over the Place where I was, it appeared 
to be a firm Substance, the Bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright 
from the Reflexion of the Sea below. I stood upon a Height about two 
Hundred Yards from the Shoar, and saw this vast Body descending almost 
to a Parallel with me, at less than an English Mile Distance. I took out my 
Pocket-Perspective, and could plainly discover Numbers of People moving 
up and down the Sides of it, which appeared to be sloping, but what those 
People were doing, I was not able to distinguish. 

The natural Love of Life gave me some inward Motions of Joy; and I was 
ready to entertain a Hope, that this Adventure might some Way or other 
help to deliver me from the desolate Place and Condition I was in. But, at 
the same Time, the Reader can hardly conceive my Astonishment, to 
behold an Island in the Air, inhabited by Men, who were able (as it should 
seem) to raise or sink, or put it into a progressive Motion, as they pleased. 
But not being, at that Time, in a Disposition to philosophise upon this 
Phaenomenon, I rather chose to observe what Course the Island would 
take; because it seemed for a while to stand still. Yet, soon after it advanced 
nearer; and I could see the Sides of it, encompassed with several Gradations 
of Galleries and Stairs, at certain Intervals, to descend from one to the 
other. In the lowest Gallery, I beheld some People fishing with long 
Angling Rods, and others looking on. I waved my Cap, (for my Hat was 
long since worn out,) and my Handkerchief towards the Island; and upon 
its nearer approach, I called and shouted with the utmost Strength of my 
Voice; and then looking circumspectly, I beheld a Crowd gather to that 
Side which was most in my View. I found by their pointing towards me 
and to each other, that they plainly discovered me, although they made no 
Return to my Shouting. But I could see four or five Men running in great 
Haste up the Stairs to the top of the Island, who then disappeared. I 
happened rightly to conjecture, that these were sent for Orders to some 
Person in Authority upon this Occasion. 

The Number of People increased; and in less than half an Hour the Island 
was moved and raised in such a Manner, that the lowest Gallery appeared 
in a Parallel of less than an Hundred Yards Distance from the Height where 
I stood. I then put my self into the most supplicating Postures, and spoke in 
the humblest Accent, but received no Answer. Those who stood nearest 
over against me, seemed to be Persons of Distinction, as I supposed by 
their Habit. They conferred earnestly with each other, looking often upon 
me. At length one of them called out in a clear, polite, smooth Dialect, not 
unlike in Sound to the Italian; and therefore I returned an Answer in that 
Language, hoping at least that the Cadence might be more agreeable to his 
Ears. Although neither of us understood the other, yet my Meaning was 
easily known, for the People saw the Distress I was in. 

They made Signs for me to come down from the Rock, and go towards the 
Shoar, which I accordingly did; and the flying Island being raised to a 
convenient Height, the Verge directly over me, a Chain was let down from 
the lowest Gallery, with a Seat fastned to the Bottom, to which I fixed my 
self, and was drawn up by Pullies. 

CHAPTER II.

The Humours and Dispositions of the Laputians described. An Account of 
their Learning. Of the King and his Court. The Author's Reception there. 
The Inhabitants subject to Fears and Disquietudes. An Account of the 
Women. 

[A]T MY ALIGHTING I was surrounded by a Crowd of People, but those 
who stood nearest seemed to be of better Quality. They beheld me with all 
the Marks and Circumstances of wonder; neither indeed was I much in 
their Debt; having never till then seen a Race of Mortals so singular in 
their Shapes, Habits, and Countenances. Their Heads were all reclined 
either to the Right, or the Left; one of their Eyes turned inward, and the 
other directly up to the Zenith. Their outward Garments were adorned 
with the Figures of Suns, Moons, and Stars, interwoven with those of 
Fiddles, Flutes, Harps, Trumpets, Guittars, Harpsichords, and many more 
Instruments of Musick, unknown to us in Europe. I observed here and 
there many in the Habit of Servants, with a blown Bladder fastned like a 
Flail to the End of a short Stick, which they carried in their Hands. In each 
Bladder was a small Quantity of dried Pease, or little Pebbles, (as I was 
afterwards informed.) With these Bladders they now and then flapped the 
Mouths and Ears of those who stood near them, of which Practice I could 
not then conceive the Meaning. It seems the Minds of these People are so 
taken up with intense Speculations, that they neither can speak, nor attend 
to the Discourses of others, without being rouzed by some external Taction 
upon the Organs of Speech and Hearing; for which Reason those Persons 
who are able to afford it always keep a Flapper (the Original is Climenole) 
in their Family, as one of their Domesticks; nor ever walk abroad or make 
Visits without him. And the Business of this Officer is, when two or more 
Persons are in Company, gently to strike with his Bladder the Mouth of 
him who is to speak, and the right Ear of him or them to whom the 
Speaker addresses himself. This Flapper is likewise employed diligently to 
attend his Master in his Walks, and upon Occasion to give him a soft Flap 
on his Eyes; because he is always so wrapped up in Cogitation, that he is in 
manifest Danger of falling down every Precipice, and bouncing his Head 
against every Post; and in the Streets, of jostling others, or being jostled 
himself into the Kennel. 

It was necessary to give the Reader this Information, without which he 
would be at the same Loss with me, to understand the Proceedings of these 
People, as they conducted me up the Stairs, to the Top of the Island, and 
from thence to the Royal Palace. While we were ascending, they forgot 
several Times what they were about, and left me to my self, till their 
Memories were again rouzed by their Flappers; for they appeared 
altogether unmoved by the Sight of my foreign Habit and Countenance, and 
by the Shouts of the Vulgar, whose Thoughts and Minds were more 
disengaged. 

At last we entered the Palace, and proceeded into the Chamber of Presence; 
where I saw the King seated on his Throne, attended on each Side by 
Persons of prime Quality. Before the Throne, was a large Table filled with 
Globes and Spheres, and Mathematical Instruments of all Kinds. His 
Majesty took not the least Notice of us, although our Entrance were not 
without sufficient Noise, by the Concourse of all Persons belonging to the 
Court. But he was then deep in a Problem, and we attended at least an 
Hour, before he could solve it. There stood by him on each Side, a young 
Page, with Flaps in their Hands; and when they saw he was at Leisure, one 
of them gently struck his Mouth, and the other his right Ear; at which he 
Started like one awakened on the sudden, and looking towards me and the 
Company I was in, recollected the Occasion of our coming, whereof he had 
been informed before. He spoke some Words, whereupon immediately a 
young Man with a flap came up to my Side, and flapped me gently on the 
Right Ear; but I made Signs, as well as I could, that I had no Occasion for 
such an Instrument; which, as I afterwards found, gave his Majesty and the 
whole Court a very mean Opinion of my Understanding. The King, as far 
as I could conjecture, asked me several Questions, and I addressed my self 
to him in all the Languages I had. When it was found, that I could neither 
understand nor be understood, I was conducted by the his Order to an 
Apartment in his Palace, (this Prince being distinguished above all his 
Predecessors for his Hospitality to Strangers, ) where two Servants were 
appointed to attend me. My Dinner was brought, and four Persons of 
Quality, whom I remembered to have seen very near the King's Person, 
did me the Honour to dine with me. We had two Courses, of three Dishes 
each. In the first Course, there was a Shoulder of Mutton, cut into an 
AEquilateral Triangle; a Piece of Beef into a Rhomboides; and a Pudding 
into a Cycloid. The second Course was two Ducks, trussed up into the 
Form of Fiddles; Sausages and Puddings resembling Flutes and Haut-boys, 
and a Breast of Veal in the Shape of a Harp. The Servants cut our Bread 
into Cones, Cylinders, Parallelograms, and several other Mathematical 
Figures. 

While we were at Dinner, I made bold to ask the Names of several Things 
in their Language; and those noble Persons, by the Assistance of their 
Flappers, delighted to give me Answers, hoping to raise my Admiration of 
their great Abilities, if I could be brought to converse with them. I was 
soon able to call for Bread and Drink, or whatever else I wanted. 

After Dinner my Company withdrew, and a Person was sent to me by the 
King's Order, attended by a Flapper. He brought with him Pen, Ink, and 
Paper, and three or four Books; giving me to understand by Signs, that he 
was sent to teach me the Language. We sat together four Hours, in which 
Time I wrote down a great Number of Words in Columns, with the 
Translations over against them. I likewise made a Shift to learn several 
short Sentences. For my tutor would order one of my Servants to fetch 
something, to turn about, to make a Bow, to sit, or stand, or walk, and the 
like. Then I took down the Sentence in Writing. He shewed me also in one 
of his Books, the Figures of the Sun, Moon, and Stars, the Zodiack, the 
Tropics, and Polar Circles, together with the Denominations of many 
Figures of Planes and Solids. He gave me the Names and Descriptions of all 
the Musical Instruments, and the general Terms of Art in playing on each 
of them. After he had left me, I placed all my Words with their 
Interpretations in alphabetical Order. And thus in a few Days, by the help 
of a very Faithful Memory, I got some Insight into their Language. 

The Word, which I interpret the Flying or Floating Island, is in the 
Original Laputa; whereof I could never learn the true Etymology. Lap in 
the old obsolete Language signifieth High, and Untuh a Governor; from 
which they say by Corruption was derived Laputa, from Lapuntuh. But I 
do not approve of this Derivation, which seems to be a little strained. I 
ventured to offer to the Learned among them a Conjecture of my own, that 
Laputa was quasi Lap outed; Lap signifying properly the dancing of the 
Sun Beams in the Sea; and outed a Wing, which however I shall not 
obtrude, but submit to the judicious Reader. 

Those to whom the King had entrusted me, observing how ill I was clad, 
ordered a Taylor to come next Morning, and take my Measure for a Suit of 
Cloths. This Operator did his Office after a different Manner from those of 
his Trade in Europe. He first took my Altitude by a Quadrant, and then 
with Rule and Compasses, described the Dimensions and Out-Lines of my 
whole Body; all which he entered upon Paper, and in six Days brought my 
Cloths very ill made, and quite out of Shape, by happening to mistake a 
Figure in the Calculation. But my Comfort was, that I observed such 
Accidents very frequent, and little regarded. 

During my Confinement for want of Cloaths, and by an Indisposition that 
held me some Days longer, I much enlarged my Dictionary; and when I 
went next to Court, was able to understand many Things the King spoke, 
and to return him some Kind of Answers. His Majesty had given Orders 
that the Island should move North-East and by East, to the vertical Point 
over Lagado, the Metropolis of the whole Kingdom, below upon the firm 
Earth. It was about Ninety Leagues distant, and our Voyage lasted four 
Days and an Half. I was not in the least sensible of the progressive Motion 
made in the Air by the Island. On the second Morning, about Eleven 
o'Clock, the King himself in Person, attended by his Nobility, Courtiers, 
and Officers, having prepared all their Musical Instruments, played on 
them for three Hours without Intermission; so that I was quite stunned with 
the Noise; neither could I possibly guess the Meaning, till my Tutor 
informed me. He said, that the People of their Island had their Ears adapted 
to hear the Musick of the Spheres, which always played at certain Periods; 
and the Court was now prepared to bear their Part in whatever Instrument 
they most excelled. 

In our Journey towards Lagado the Capital City, his Majesty ordered that 
the Island should stop over certain Towns and Villages, from whence he 
might receive the Petitions of his Subjects. And to this Purpose, several 
Packthreads were let down with small Weights at the Bottom. On these 
Packthreads, the People strung their Petitions, which mounted up directly 
like the Scraps of Paper fastned by School-boys at the End of the String 
that holds their Kite. Sometimes we received wine and Victuals from 
below, which were drawn up by Pullies. 

The Knowledge I had in Mathematicks gave me great Assistance in 
acquiring their Phraseology, which depended much upon that Science and 
Musick; and in the latter I was not unskilled. Their Ideas are perpetually 
conversant in Lines and Figures. If they would, for Example, praise the 
Beauty of a Woman, or any other Animal, they describe it by Rhombs, 
Circles, Parallelograms, Ellipses, and other Geometrical Terms; or by 
Words of Art drawn from Musick, needless here to repeat. I observed in 
the King's Kitchen all sorts of Mathematical and Musical Instruments, after 
the Figures of which they cut up the Joynts that were served to his 
Majesty's Table. 

Their Houses are very ill built, the Walls bevil without one right Angle in 
any Apartment; and this Defect ariseth from the Contempt they bear to 
practical Geometry; which they despise as vulgar and mechanick, those 
Instructions they give being too refined for the Intellectuals of their 
Workmen; which occasions perpetual Mistakes. And although they are 
dexterous enough upon a Piece of Paper in the Management of the Rule, 
the Pencil, and the Divider, yet in the common Actions and Behaviour of 
Life, I have not seen a more clumsy, awkward, and unhandy People, nor so 
slow and perplexed in their Conceptions upon all other Subjects, except 
those of Mathematicks and Musick. They are very bad Reasoners, and 
vehemently given to Opposition, unless when they happen to be of the right 
Opinion, which is seldom their Case. Imagination, Fancy, and Invention, 
they are wholly Strangers to, nor have any Words in their Language by 
which those Ideas can be expressed; the whole Compass of their Thoughts 
and Mind, being shut up within the two forementioned Sciences. 

Most of them, and especially those who deal in the Astronomical Part, have 
great Faith in judicial Astrology, although they are ashamed to own it 
publickly. But, what I chiefly admired, and thought altogether 
unaccountable, was the strong Disposition I observed in them towards 
News and Politicks, perpetually enquiring into public Affairs, giving their 
Judgements in Matters of State; and passionately disputing every Inch of a 
Party Opinion. I have indeed observed the same Disposition among most of 
the Mathematicians I have known in Europe; although I could never 
discover the least Analogy between the two Sciences; unless those People 
suppose, that because the smallest Circle hath as many Degrees as the 
largest, therefore the Regulation and Management of the World require no 
more Abilities than the handling and turning of a Globe. But, I rather take 
this Quality to spring from a very common Infirmity of human Nature, 
inclining us to be more curious and conceited in Matters where we have 
least Concern, and for which we are least adapted either by Study or 
Nature. 

These People are under continual Disquietudes, never enjoying a Minute's 
Peace of Mind; and their Disturbances proceed from Causes which very 
little affect the rest of Mortals. Their Apprehensions arise from several 
Changes they dread in the Celestial Bodies. For Instance; that the Earth by 
the continual Approaches of the Sun towards it, must in Course of Time be 
absorbed or swallowed up. That the Face of the Sun will by Degrees be 
encrusted with its own Effluvia, and give no more Light to the World. 
That, the Earth very narrowly escaped a Brush from the Tail of the last 
Comet, which would have infallibly reduced it to Ashes; and that the next, 
which they have calculated for One and Thirty Years hence, will probably 
destroy us. For, if in its Perihelion it should approach within a certain 
Degree of the Sun, (as by their Calculations they have Reason to dread) it 
will conceive a Degree of Heat ten Thousand Times more intense than that 
of red hot glowing Iron; and in its Absence from the Sun, carry a blazing 
Tail Ten Hundred Thousand and Fourteen Miles long; through which if the 
Earth should pass at the Distance of one Hundred Thousand Miles from the 
Nucleus or main Body of the Comet, it must in its Passage be set on Fire, 
and reduced to Ashes. That the Sun daily spending its Rays without any 
Nutriment to supply them, will at last be wholly consumed and annihilated; 
which must be attended with the Destruction of this Earth, and of all the 
Planets that receive their Light from it. 

They are so perpetually alarmed with the Apprehensions of these and the 
like impending Dangers, that they can neither sleep quietly in their Beds, 
nor have any Relish for the common Pleasures or Amusements of Life. 
When they meet an Acquaintance in the Morning, the first Question is 
about the Sun's Health; how he looked at his Setting and Rising, and what 
Hopes they have to avoid the Stroak of the approaching Comet. This 
conversation they are apt to run into with the same Temper that boys 
discover, in delighting to hear terrible Stories of Sprites and Hobgoblins, 
which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to Bed for fear. 

The Women of the Island have Abundance of Vivacity: they contemn their 
Husbands, and are exceedingly fond of Strangers, whereof there is always a 
considerable Number from the Continent below, attending at Court, either 
upon Affairs of the several Towns and Corporations, or their own 
particular Occasions; but are much despised, because they want the same 
Endowments. Among these the Ladies chuse their Gallants: But the 
Vexation is, that they act with too much Ease and Security; for the Husband 
is always so rapt in Speculation, that the Mistress and Lover may proceed 
to the greatest Familiarities before his Face, if he be but provided with 
Paper and Implements, and without his Flapper at his Side. 

The Wives and Daughters lament their Confinement to the Island, although 
I think it the most delicious Spot of Ground in the World; and although 
they live here in the greatest Plenty and Magnificence, and are allowed to 
do whatever they please: They long to see the World, and take the 
Diversions of the Metropolis, which they are not allowed to do without a 
particular License from the King; and this is not easy to obtain, because the 
People of Quality have found by frequent Experience, how hard it is to 
persuade their Women to return from below. I was told, that a great Court 
Lady, who had several Children, is married to the prime Minister, the 
richest Subject in the Kingdom, a very graceful Person, extremely fond of 
her, and lives in the finest Palace of the Island; went down to Lagado, on 
the Pretense of Health, there hid herself for several Months, till the King 
sent a Warrant to search for her; and she was found in an obscure Eating-
House all in rags, having pawned her Cloths to maintain an old deformed 
Footman, who beat her every Day, and in whose Company she was taken 
much against her Will. And although her Husband received her with all 
possible Kindness, and without the least Reproach; she soon after contrived 
to steal down again with all her Jewels, to the same Gallant, and has not 
been heard of since. 

This may perhaps pass with the Reader rather for an European or English 
Story, than for one of a Country so remote. But he may please to consider, 
that the Caprices of Womankind are not limited by any Climate or Nation; 
and that they are much more uniform than can be easily imagined. 

In about a Month's Time I had made a tolerable Proficiency in their 
Language, and was able to answer most of the King's Questions, when I 
had the Honour to attend him. His Majesty discovered not the least 
Curiosity to enquire into the Laws, Government, History, Religion, or 
Manners of the Countries where I had been; but confined his Questions to 
the State of Mathematicks, and received the Account I gave him with great 
Contempt and Indifference, though often rouzed by his Flapper on each 
Side. 

CHAPTER III.

A Ph<50>nomenon solved by modern Philosophy and Astronomy. The 
Laputias great Improvements in the latter. The King's Method of 
suppressing Insurrections.  

I DESIRED Leave of this Prince to see the Curiosities of the Island; which 
he was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my Tutor to attend me. I 
chiefly wanted to know to what Cause in Art or in Nature, it owed its 
several Motions; whereof I will now give a philosophical Account to the 
Reader.  

The flying or floating Island is exactly circular; its Diameter 7837 Yards, 
or about four Miles and an Half, and consequently contains ten Thousand 
Acres. It is three Hundred Yards thick. The Bottom or under Surface, 
which appears to those who view it from below, is one even regular Plate 
of Adamant, shooting up to the Height of about two Hundred Yards. Above 
it lye the several Minerals in their usual Order; and over all is a Coat of 
rich Mould, ten or twelve Foot deep. The Declivity of the upper Surface, 
from the Circumference to the Center, is the natural Cause why all the 
Dews and Rains which fall upon the Island, are conveyed in small Rivulets 
toward the Middle, where they are emptyed into four large Basons, each of 
about Half a Mile in Circuit, and two Hundred Yards distant from the 
Center. From these Basons the Water is continually exhaled by the Sun in 
the Day-time, which effectually prevents their overflowing. Besides, as it is 
in the Power of the Monarch to raise the Island above the Region of Clouds 
and Vapors, he can prevent the falling of Dews and Rains whenever he 
pleases. For the highest Clouds cannot rise above two Miles, as Naturalists 
agree, at least they were never known to do so in that Country.  

At the Center of the Island there is a Chasm about fifty Yards in Diameter, 
from whence the Astronomers descend into a large Dome, which is 
therefore called Flandona Gagnole, or the Astronomer's Cave; situated at 
the Depth of an Hundred Yards beneath the upper Surface of the Adamant. 
In this Cave are Twenty Lamps continually burning, which from the 
Reflection of the Adamant cast a strong Light into every Part. The Place is 
stored with great Variety of Sextants, Quadrants, Telescopes, Astrolabes, 
and other Astronomical Instruments. But the greatest Curiosity, upon 
which the Fate of the Island depends, is a Loadstone of a prodigious Size, 
in Shape resembling a Weaver's Shuttle. It is in Length six Yards, and in 
the thickest Part at least three Yards over. This Magnet is sustained by a 
very strong Axle of Adamant passing through its Middle, upon which it 
plays, and is poized so exactly that the weakest Hand can turn it. It is 
hooped round with a hollow Cylinder of Adamant, four Foot deep, as 
many thick, and twelve Yards in Diameter, placed horizontally, and 
supported by Eight Adamantine Feet, each six Yards high. In the Middle of 
the Concave Side there is a Groove Twelve Inches deep, in which the 
Extremities of the Axle are lodged, and turned round as there is Occasion.  

The Stone cannot be moved from its Place by any Force, because the Hoop 
and its Feet are one continued Piece with that Body of Adamant which 
constitutes the Bottom of the Island.  

By means of this Load-stone, the Island is made to rise and fall, and move 
from one Place to another. For, with respect to that Part of the Earth over 
which the Monarch presides, the Stone is endued at one of its Sides with an 
attractive Power, and at the other with a repulsive. Upon placing the 
Magnet erect with its attracting End towards the Earth, the Island descends; 
but when the repelling Extremity points downwards, the Island mounts 
directly upwards. When the Position of the Stone is oblique, the Motion of 
the Island is so too. For in this Magnet the Forces always act in Lines 
parallel to its Direction.  

                           [Plate 4: Balnibarbi]  

By this oblique Motion the Island is conveyed to different Parts of the 
Monarch's Dominions. To explain the Manner of its Progress, let A B 
represent a Line drawn cross the Dominions of Balnibarbi; let the Line c d 
represent the Loadstone, of which let d be the repelling End, and c the 
attracting End, the Island being over C; let the Stone be placed in the 
Position c d, with its repelling End downwards; then the Island will be 
driven upwards obliquely towards D. When it is arrived at D, let the Stone 
be turned upon its Axle till its attracting End points towards E, and then 
the Island will be carried obliquely towards E; where if the Stone be again 
turned upon its Axle till it stands in the Position E F, with its repelling 
Point downwards, the Island will rise obliquely towards F, where by 
directing the attracting End towards G, the Island may be carried to G, and 
from G to H, by turning the Stone, so as to make its repelling Extremity 
point directly downwards. And thus by changing the Situation of the Stone 
as often as there is Occasion, the Island is made to rise and fall by Turns in 
an oblique Direction; and by those alternate Risings and Fallings (the 
Obliquity being not considerable), is conveyed from one Part of the 
Dominions to the other.  

But it must be observed, that this Island cannot move beyond the Extent of 
the Dominions below; nor can it rise above the Height of four Miles. For 
which the Astronomers (who have written large Systems concerning the 
Stone) assign the following Reason: That the Magnetick Virtue does not 
extend beyond the Distance of four Miles, and that the Mineral which acts 
upon the Stone in the Bowels of the Earth, and in the Sea about six Leagues 
distant from the Shoar, is not diffused through the whole Globe, but 
terminated with the Limits of the King's Dominions: And it was easy from 
the great Advantage of such a superior Situation, for a Prince to bring 
under his Obedience whatever Country lay within the Attraction of that 
Magnet.  

When the Stone is put parallel to the Plane of the Horizon, the Island 
standeth still; for in that Case, the Extremities of it being at equal Distance 
from the Earth, act with equal Force, the one in drawing downwards, the 
other in pushing upwards; and consequently no Motion can ensue.  

This Load-stone is under the Care of certain Astronomers, who from Time 
to Time give it such Positions as the Monarch directs. They spend the 
greatest Part of their Lives in observing the celestial Bodies, which they do 
by the Assistance of Glasses, far excelling ours in Goodness. For, although 
their largest Telescopes do not exceed three Feet, they magnify much more 
than those of a Hundred with us, and shew the Stars with greater Clearness. 
This Advantage hath enabled them to extend their Discoveries much farther 
than our Astronomers in Europe. They have made a Catalogue of ten 
Thousand fixed Stars, whereas the largest of ours do not contain above one 
third Part of that Number. They have likewise discovered two lesser Stars, 
or Satellites, which revolve about Mars; whereof the innermost is distant 
from the Center of the primary Planet exactly three of his Diameters, and 
the outermost five; the former revolves in the space of ten Hours, and the 
latter in Twenty-one and an Half; so that the Squares of their periodical 
Times, are very near in the same Proportion with the Cubes of their 
Distance from the Center of Mars; which evidently shews them to be 
governed by the same Law of Gravitation, that influences the other 
heavenly Bodies.  

They have observed Ninety-three different Comets, and settled their 
Periods with great Exactness. If this be true, (and they affirm it with great 
Confidence) it is much to be wished that their Observations were made 
publick, whereby the Theory of Comets, which at present is very lame and 
defective, might be brought to the same Perfection with other Parts of 
Astronomy.  

The King would be the most absolute Prince in the Universe, if he could 
but prevail on a Ministry to join with him, but these having their Estates 
below on the Continent, and considering that the Office of a Favourite hath 
a very uncertain Tenure, would never consent to the enslaving their 
Country.  

If any Town should engage in Rebellion or Mutiny, fall into violent 
Factions, or refuse to pay the usual Tribute; the King hath two Methods of 
reducing them to Obedience. The first and the mildest Course is by keeping 
the Island hovering over such a Town, and the Lands about it; whereby he 
can deprive them of the Benefit of the Sun and the Rain, and consequently 
afflict the Inhabitants with Dearth and Diseases. And if the Crime deserve 
it, they are at the same time pelted from above with great Stones, against 
which they have no Defence, but by creeping into Cellars or Caves, while 
the Roofs of their Houses are beaten to Pieces. But if they still continue 
obstinate, or offer to raise Insurrections, he proceeds to the last Remedy, 
by letting the Island drop directly upon their Heads, which makes a 
universal Destruction both of Houses and Men. However, this is an 
Extremity to which the Prince is seldom driven, neither indeed is he 
willing, to put it in Execution; nor dare his Ministers advise him to an 
Action, which as it would render them odious to the People, so it would be 
a great Damage to their own Estates that lie all below; for the Island is the 
King's Demesne.  

But there is still indeed a more weighty Reason, why the Kings of this 
Country have been always averse from executing so terrible an Action, 
unless upon the utmost Necessity. For if the Town intended to be destroyed 
should have in it any tall Rocks, as it generally falls out in the larger Cities; 
a Situation probably chosen at first with a View to prevent such a 
Catastrophe:; Or if it abound in high Spires or Pillars of Stone, a sudden 
Fall might endanger the Bottom or under Surface of the Island, which, 
although it consists as I have said, of one entire Adamant two hundred 
Yards thick, might happen to crack by too great a Choque, or burst by 
approaching too near the Fires from the Houses below; as the Backs both of 
Iron and Stone will often do in our Chimneys. Of all this the People are 
well apprized, and understand how far to carry their Obstinacy, where 
their Liberty or Property is concerned. And the King, when he is highest 
provoked, and most determined to press a City to Rubbish, orders the 
Island to descend with great Gentleness, out of a Pretence of Tenderness to 
his People, but indeed for fear of breaking the Adamantine Bottom; in 
which Case it is the Opinion of all their Philosophers, that the Load-stone 
could no longer hold it up, and the whole Mass would fall to the Ground.  

[About three Years before my Arrival among them, while the King was in 
his Progress over his Dominions, there happened an extraordinary 
Accident which had like to have put a Period to the Fate of that Monarchy, 
at least as it is now instituted. Lindalino the second City in the Kingdom 
was the first his Majesty visited in his Progress. Three Days after his 
Departure, the Inhabitants, who had often complained of great 
Oppressions, shut the Town Gates, seized on the Governor, and with 
incredible Speed and Labour erected four large Towers, one at every 
Corner of the City (which is an exact Square) equal in Heigth to a strong 
pointed Rock that stands directly in the Center of the City. Upon the Top of 
each Tower, as well as upon the Rock, they fixed a great Loadstone, and in 
case their Design should fail, they had provided a vast Quantity of the most 
combustible Fewel, hoping to burst therewith the adamantine Bottom of the 
Island, if the Loadstone Project should miscarry.  

It was eight Months before the King had perfect Notice that the 
Lindalinians were in Rebellion. He then commanded that the Island should 
be wafted over the City. The People were unanimous, and had laid in Store 
of Provisions, and a great River runs through the middle of the Town. The 
King hovered over them several Days to deprive them of the Sun and the 
Rain. He ordered many Packthreads to be let down, yet not a Person 
offered to send up a Petition, but instead thereof, very bold Demands, the 
Redress of all their Grievances, great Immunitys, the Choice of their own 
Governor, and other like Exorbitances. Upon which his Majesty 
commanded all the Inhabitants of the Island to cast great Stones from the 
lower Gallery into the Town; but the Citizens had provided against this 
Mischief by conveying their Persons and Effects into the four Towers, and 
other strong Buildings, and Vaults under Ground.  

The King being now determined to reduce this proud People, ordered that 
the Island should descend gently within fourty Yards of the Top of the 
Towers and Rock. This was accordingly done; but the Officers employed in 
that Work found the Descent much speedier than usual, and by turning the 
Loadstone could not without great Difficulty keep it in a firm Position, but 
found the Island inclining to fall. They sent the King immediate 
Intelligence of this astonishing Event and begged his Majesty's Permission 
to raise the Island higher; the King consented, a general Council was called, 
and the Officers of the Loadstone ordered to attend. One of the oldest and 
expertest among them obtained leave to try an Experiment. He took a 
strong Line of an hundred Yards, and the Island being raised over the 
Town above the attracting Power they had felt, He fastened a Piece of 
Adamant to the End of his Line, which had in it a Mixture of Iron mineral, 
of the same Nature with that whereof the Bottom or lower Surface of the 
Island is composed, and from the lower Gallery let it down slowly towards 
the Top of the Towers. The Adamant was not descended four Yards, 
before the Officer felt it drawn so strongly downward, that he could hardly 
pull it back. He then threw down several small Pieces of Adamant, and 
observed that they were all violently attracted by the Top of the Tower. 
The same Experiment was made on the other three Towers, and on the 
Rock with the same Effect.  

This Incident broke entirely the King's Measures and (to dwell no longer 
on other Circumstances) he was forced to give the Town their own 
Conditions.  

I was assured by a great Minister, that if the Island had descended so near 
the Town, as not to be able to raise it self, the Citizens were determined to 
fix it for ever, to kill the King and all his Servants, and entirely change the 
Government.]  

By a fundamental Law of this Realm, neither the King, nor either of his 
two elder Sons, are permitted to leave the Island; nor the Queen, till she is 
past Child-bearing. 

CHAPTER IV.

The Author leaves Laputa, is conveyed to Balnibarbi, arrives at the 
Metropolis. A Description of the Metropolis and the Country adjoining. 
The Author hospitably received by a great Lord. His Conversation with 
that Lord. 

ALTHOUGH I CANNOT say that I was ill treated in this Island, yet I must 
confess I thought my self too much neglected, not without some Degree of 
Contempt. For neither Prince nor People appeared to be curious in any 
Part of Knowledge, except Mathematicks and Musick, wherein I was far 
their inferior, and upon that Account very little regarded. 

On the other Side, after having seen all the Curiosities of the Island, I was 
very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of those People. They were 
indeed excellent in two Sciences for which I have great Esteem, and 
wherein I am not unversed; but at the same time so abstracted and involved 
in Speculation, that I never met with such disagreeable Companions. I 
conversed only with Women, Tradesmen, Flappers, and Court-Pages, 
during two Months of my Abode there, by which at last I rendered my self 
extremely contemptible; yet these were the only People from whom I could 
ever receive a reasonable Answer. 

I had obtained by hard Study a good Degree of Knowledge in their 
Language: I was weary of being confined to an Island where I received so 
little Countenance; and resolved to leave it with the first Opportunity. 

There was a great Lord at Court, nearly related to the King, and for that 
Reason alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned the most 
ignorant and stupid Person among them. He had performed many eminent 
services for the Crown, had great natural and acquired Parts, adorned with 
Integrity and Honour, but so ill an Ear for Musick, that his Detractors 
reported he had been often known to beat Time in the wrong Place; neither 
could his Tutors without extreme Difficulty teach him to demonstrate the 
most easy Proposition in the Mathematicks. He was pleased to shew me 
many Marks of Favour, often did me the Honour of a Visit, desired to be 
informed in the Affairs of Europe, the Laws and Customs, the Manners 
and Learning of the several Countries where I had travelled. He listened to 
me with great Attention, and made very wise Observations on all I spoke. 
He had two Flappers attending him for State, but never made use of them 
except at Court, and in Visits of Ceremony; and would always command 
them to withdraw when we were alone together. 

I entreated this illustrious Person to intercede in my Behalf with his 
Majesty for Leave to depart; which he accordingly did, as he was pleased to 
tell me, with Regret: For, indeed he had made me several Offers very 
advantageous, which however I refused with Expressions of the highest 
Acknowledgment. 

On the 16th Day of February, I took Leave of his Majesty and the Court. 
The King made me a Present to the Value of about two Hundred Pounds 
English; and my Protector his Kinsman as much more, together with a 
Letter of Recommendation to a Friend of his in Lagado, the Metropolis: 
The Island being then hovering over a Mountain about two Miles from it, I 
was let down from the lowest Gallery, in the same Manner as I had been 
taken up. 

The Continent, as far as it is subject to the Monarch of the Flying Island, 
passeth under the general Name of Balnibarbi; and the Metropolis, as I said 
before, is called Lagado. I felt some little Satisfaction in finding my self on 
firm Ground. I walked to the City without any Concern, being clad like 
one of the Natives, and sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I soon 
found out the Person's House to whom I was recommended; presented my 
Letter from his Friend the Grandee in the Island, and was received with 
much Kindness. This great Lord, whose Name was Munodi, ordered me an 
Apartment in his own House, where I continued during my Stay, and was 
entertained in a most hospitable Manner. 

The next Morning after my Arrival, he took me in his Chariot to see the 
Town, which is about half the Bigness of London, but the Houses very 
strangely built, and most of them out of Repair. The People in the Streets 
walked fast, looked wild, their Eyes fixed, and were generally in Rags. We 
passed through one of the Town Gates, and went about three Miles into the 
Country, where I saw many Labourers working with several Sorts of Tools 
in the Ground, but he was not able to conjecture what they were about; 
neither did I observe any Expectation either of Corn or Grass, although the 
Soil appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear admiring at these odd 
Appearances both in Town and Country; and I made bold to desire my 
Conductor, that he would be pleased to explain to me what could be meant 
by so many busy Heads, Hands, and Faces, both in the Streets and the 
Fields, because I did not discover any good Effects they produced; but on 
the contrary, I never knew a Soil so unhappily cultivated, Houses so ill 
contrived and so ruinous, or a People whose Countenances and Habit 
expressed so much Misery and Want. 

This Lord Munodi was a Person of the first Rank, and had been some 
Years Governor of Lagado; but by a Cabal of Ministers was discharged for 
Insufficiency. However, the King treated him with Tenderness, as a well-
meaning Man, but of a low contemptible Understanding. 

When I gave that free Censure of the Country and its Inhabitants, he made 
no further Answer than by telling me, that I had not been long enough 
among them to form a Judgement: and that the different Nations of the 
World had different Customs; with other common Topicks to the same 
Purpose. But when we returned to his Palace, he asked me how I liked the 
Building, what Absurdities I observed, and what Quarrel I had with the 
Dress or Looks of his Domesticks. This he might safely do; because every 
Thing about him was magnificent, regular, and polite. I answered, that his 
Excellency's Prudence, Quality, and Fortune, had exempted him from 
those Defects which Folly and Beggary had produced in others. He said, if 
I would go with him to his Country House, about Twenty Miles distant, 
where his Estate lay, there would be more Leisure for this Kind of 
Conversation. I told his Excellency that I was entirely at his Disposal; and 
accordingly we set out next Morning. 

During our Journey, he made me observe the several Methods used by 
Farmers in managing their Lands; which to me were wholly unaccountable: 
For except in some very few Places, I could not discover one Ear of Corn, 
or Blade of Grass. But, in three Hours travelling, the Scene was wholly 
altered; we came into a most beautiful Country; Farmers Houses at small 
Distances, neatly built, the Fields enclosed, containing Vineyards, 
Corngrounds, and Meadows. Neither do I remember to have seen a more 
delightful Prospect. His Excellency observed my Countenance to clear up; 
he told me with a Sigh that there his Estate began, and would continue the 
same till we should come to his House. That his Countrymen ridiculed and 
despised him for managing his Affairs no better, and for setting so ill an 
Example to the Kingdom; which however was followed by very few, such 
as were old, and wilful, and weak like himself. 

We came at length to the House, which was indeed a noble Structure, built 
according to the best Rules of ancient Architecture. The Fountains, 
Gardens, Walks, Avenues, and Groves were all disposed with exact 
Judgement and Taste. I gave due Praises to every Thing I saw, whereof his 
Excellency took not the least Notice till after Supper; when, there being no 
third Companion, he told me with a very melancholy Air, that he doubted 
he must thrown down his Houses in Town and Country, to rebuild them 
after the present Mode; destroy all his Plantations, and cast others into such 
a Form as modern Usage required; and give the same Directions to all his 
Tenants, unless he would submit to incur the Censure of Pride, Singularity, 
Affectation, Ignorance, Caprise; and perhaps increase his Majesty's 
Displeasure. 

That the Admiration I appeared to be under, would cease or diminish when 
he had informed me of some Particulars, which probably I never heard of 
at Court, the People there being too much taken up in their own 
Speculations, to have Regard to what passed here below. 

The Sum of his Discourse was to this Effect. That about Forty Years ago, 
certain Persons went up to Laputa, either upon Business or Diversion; and 
after five Months Continuance came back with a very little Smattering in 
Mathematicks, but full of Volatile Spirits acquired in that Airy Region. 
That these Persons upon their Return, began to dislike the Management of 
every Thing below; and fell into Schemes of putting all Arts, Sciences, 
Languages, and Mechanicks upon a new Foot. To this End they procured a 
Royal Patent for erecting an Academy of PROJECTORS in Lagado: And 
the Humour prevailed so strongly among the People, that there is not a 
Town of any Consequence in the Kingdom without such an Academy. In 
these Colleges, the Professors contrive new Rules and Methods of 
Agriculture and Building, and new Instruments and Tools for all Trades 
and Manufactures, whereby, as they undertake, one Man shall do the Work 
of Ten; a Palace may be built in a Week, of Materials so durable as to last 
for ever without repairing. All the Fruits of the Earth shall come to 
Maturity at whatever Season we think fit to chuse, and increase an Hundred 
Fold more than they do at present; with innumerable other happy 
Proposals. The only Inconvenience is, that none of these Projects are yet 
brought to Perfection; and in the mean time, the whole Country lies 
miserably waste, the Houses in Ruins, and the People without Food or 
Cloaths. By all which, instead of being discouraged, they are Fifty Times 
more violently bent upon prosecuting their Schemes, driven equally on by 
Hope and Despair: That, as for himself, being not of an enterprizing Spirit, 
he was content to go on in the old Forms; to live in the Houses his 
Ancestors had built, and act as they did in every Part of Life without 
Innovation. That, some few other Persons of Quality and Gentry had done 
the same; but were looked on with an eye of Contempt and ill Will, as 
enemies to Art, Ignorant, and ill Commonwealthmen, preferring their own 
Ease and Sloth before the general Improvement of their Country. 

His Lordship added, that he would not by any further Particulars prevent 
the Pleasure I should certainly take in viewing the grand Academy, whither 
he was resolved I should go. He only desired me to observe a ruined 
Building upon the Side of a Mountain about three Miles distant, of which 
he gave me this Account. That he had a very convenient Mill within Half a 
Mile of his House, turned by a Current from a large River, and sufficient 
for his own Family as well as a great Number of his Tenants. That, about 
seven Years ago, a Club of those Projectors came to him with Proposals to 
destroy this Mill, and build another on the Side of that Mountain, on the 
long Ridge whereof a long Canal must be cut for a Repository of Water, to 
be conveyed up by Pipes and Engines to supply the Mill: Because the Wind 
and Air upon a Height agitated the Water, and thereby made it fitter for 
Motion: And because the Water descending down a Declivity would turn 
the Mill with half the Current of a River whose Course is more upon a 
Level. He said, that being then not very well with the Court, and pressed by 
many of his Friends, he complyed with the Proposal; and after employing 
an Hundred Men for two Years, the Work miscarryed, the Projectors went 
off, laying the Blame entirely upon him; railing at him ever since, and 
putting others upon the same Experiment, with equal Assurance of Success, 
as well as equal Disappointment. 

In a few Days we came back to Town; and his Excellency, considering the 
bad Character he had in the Academy, would not go with me himself, but 
recommended me to a Friend of his to bear me Company thither. My Lord 
was pleased to represent me as a great Admirer of Projects, and a Person 
of much Curiosity and easy Belief; which indeed was not without Truth, 
for I had my self been a Sort of Projector in my younger Days. 

CHAPTER V.

The Author permitted to see the grand Academy of Lagado. The Academy 
largely described. The Arts wherein the Professors employ themselves. 

THIS ACADEMY is not an entire single Building, but a Continuation of 
several Houses on both Sides of a Street; which growing waste, was 
purchased and applyed to that Use. 

I was received very kindly by the Warden, and went for many Days to the 
Academy. Every Room hath in it one or more Projectors; and I believe I 
could not be in fewer than five Hundred Rooms. 

The first Man I saw was of a meager Aspect, with sooty Hands and Face, 
his Hair and Beard long, ragged and singed in several Places. His Cloathes, 
Shirt, and Skin were all of the same Colour. He had been Eight Years upon 
a Project for extracting Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers, which were to be 
put into Vials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the Air in raw 
inclement Summers. He told me he did not doubt in Eight Years more he 
should be able to supply the Governors Gardens with Sun-shine at a 
reasonable Rate; but he complained that his stock was low, and intreated me 
to give him something as an Encouragement to Ingenuity, especially since 
this had been a very dear Season for Cucumbers. I made him a small 
Present, for my Lord had furnished me with Money on Purpose, because 
he knew their Practice of begging from all who go to see them. 

I went into another Chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being almost 
overcome with a horrible Stink. My Conductor pressed me forward, 
conjuring me in a Whisper to give no Offence, which would be highly 
resented; and therefore I durst not so much as stop my Nose. The Projector 
of this Cell was the most ancient Student of the Academy. His Face and 
Beard were of a pale Yellow; his Hands and Clothes daubed over with 
Filth. When I was presented to him, he gave me a close Embrace (a 
Compliment I could well have excused.) His Employment from his first 
coming into the Academy, was an Operation to reduce human Excrement 
to its original Food, by separating the several Parts, removing the Tincture 
which it receives from the Gall, making the Odour exhale, and scumming 
off the Saliva. He had a weekly Allowance from the Society, of a Vessel 
filled with human Ordure about the Bigness of a Bristol Barrel. 

I saw another at work to calcine Ice into Gunpowder; who likewise shewed 
me a Treatise he had written concerning the Malleability of Fire, which he 
intended to publish. 

There was a most ingenious Architect who had contrived a new Method for 
building Houses, by beginning at the Roof, and working downwards to the 
Foundation; which he justified to me by the like Practice of those two 
prudent Insects, the Bee and the Spider. 

There was a Man born blind, who had several Apprentices in his own 
Condition: Their Employment was to mix Colours for Painters, which 
their Master taught them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. It was 
indeed my Misfortune to find them at that Time not very perfect in their 
Lessons; and the Professor himself happened to be generally mistaken: This 
Artist is much encouraged and esteemed by the whole Fraternity. 

In another Apartment I was highly pleased with a Projector, who had 
found a Device of plowing the Ground with Hogs, to save the Charges of 
Plows, Cattle, and Labour. The Method in this: In an Acre of Ground you 
bury at six Inches Distance, and eight deep, a Quantity of Acorns, Dates, 
Chestnuts, and other Maste or Vegetables whereof these Animals are 
fondest; then you drive six Hundred or more of them into the Field, where 
in a few Days they will root up the whole Ground in search of their Food, 
and make it fit for sowing, at the same time manuring it with their Dung. It 
is true, upon Experiment they found the Charge and Trouble very great, 
and they had little or no Crop. However, it is not doubted that this 
Invention may be capable of great Improvement. 

I went into another Room, where the Walls and Ceiling were all hung 
round with Cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the Artist to go in and 
out. At my Entrance he called aloud to me not to disturb his Webs. He 
lamented the fatal Mistake the World had been so long in of using Silk-
Worms, while we had such plenty of domestick Insects, who infinitely 
excelled the Former, because they understood how to weave as well as spin. 
And he proposed farther, that by employing Spiders, the Charge of dying 
Silks should be wholly saved; whereof I was fully convinced when he 
shewed me a vast Number of Flies most beautifully coloured, wherewith he 
fed his Spiders; assuring us, that the Webs would take a Tincture from 
them; and as he had them of all Hues, he hoped to fit every Body's Fancy, 
as soon as he could find proper Food for the Flies, of certain Gums, Oyls, 
and other glutinous Matter to give a Strength and Consistence to the 
Threads. 

There was an Astronomer who had undertaken to place a Sun-Dial upon 
the great Weather-Cock on the Town-House, by adjusting the annual and 
diurnal Motions of the Earth and Sun, so as to answer and coincide with all 
accidental Turnings of the Wind. 

I was complaining of a small fit of the Cholick; upon which my Conductor 
led me into a Room, where a great Physician resided, who was famous for 
curing that Disease by contrary Operations from the same Instrument. He 
had a large Pair of Bellows with a long slender Muzzle of Ivory. This he 
conveyed eight Inches up the Anus, and drawing in the Wind, he affirmed 
he could make the Guts as lank as a dried Bladder. But when the Disease 
was more stubborn and violent, he let in the Muzzle while the Bellows 
were full of Wind, which he discharged into the Body of the Patient, then 
withdrew the Instrument to replenish it, clapping his Thumb strongly 
against the Orifice of the Fundament; and this being repeated three or four 
Times, the adventitious Wind would rush out, bringing the noxious along 
with it (like Water put into a Pump), and the Patient recover. I saw him try 
both Experiments upon a Dog, but could not discern any Effect from the 
former. After the latter, the Animal was ready to burst, and made so 
violent a Discharge, as was very offensive to me and my Companions. The 
Dog died on the Spot, and we left the Doctor endeavouring to recover him 
by the same Operation. 

I visited many other Apartments, but shall not trouble my Reader with all 
the Curiosities I observed, being studious of Brevity. 

I had hitherto seen only one side of the Academy, the other being 
appropriated to the Advancers of speculative Learning, of which I shall say 
something when I have Mentioned one illustrious Person more, who is 
called among them the universal Artist. He told us he had been thirty Years 
employing his Thoughts for the Improvement of human Life. He had two 
large Rooms full of wonderful Curiosities, and fifty Men at work. Some 
were condensing Air into a dry tangible Substance, by extracting the Nitre, 
and letting the Aqueous or fluid Particles percolate; others softening 
Marble for Pillows and Pincushions; others petrifying the Hoofs of a living 
Horse to preserve them from foundring. The Artist himself was at that 
time busy upon two great Designs; the first, to sow Land with Chaff, 
wherein he affirmed the true seminal Virtue to be contained, as he 
Demonstrated by several Experiments which I was not skilful enough to 
comprehend. The other was, by a certain Composition of Gums, Minerals, 
and Vegetables outwardly applied, to prevent the Growth of Wool upon 
two young Lambs; and he hoped in a reasonable Time to propagate the 
Breed of naked Sheep all over the Kingdom. 

We crossed a Walk to the other Part of the Academy, where, as I have 
already said, the Projectors in speculative Learning resided. 

The first Professor I saw was in a very large Room, with forty Pupils 
about him. After Salutation, observing me to look earnestly upon a Frame, 
which took up the greatest part of both the Length and Breadth of the 
Room, he said perhaps I might wonder to see him employed in a Project 
for improving speculative Knowledge by practical and mechanical 
Operations. But the World would soon be sensible of its Usefulness, and he 
flattered himself that a more noble exalted Thought never sprung in any 
other Man's Head. Every one knew how laborious the usual Method is of 
attaining to Arts and Sciences; whereas by his Contrivance, the most 
ignorant Person at a reasonable Charge, and with a little bodily Labour, 
may write Books in Philosophy, Poetry, Politicks, Law, Mathematicks and 
Theology, without the least Assistance from Genius or Study. He then led 
me to the Frame, about the Sides whereof all his Pupils stood in Ranks. It 
was twenty Foot Square, placed in the middle of the Room. The Superficies 
was composed of several bits of Wood, about the bigness of a Dye, but 
some larger than others. They were all linked together by slender Wires. 
These bits of Wood were covered on every Square with Paper pasted on 
them, and on these Papers were written all the Words of their Language, in 
their several Moods, Tenses, and Declensions, but without any Order. The 
Professor then desired me to observe, for he was going to set his Engine at 
Work. The Pupils at his Command took each of them hold of an Iron 
Handle, whereof there were fourty fixed round the Edges of the Frame, 
and giving them a sudden turn, the whole Disposition of the Words was 
entirely changed. He then commanded six and thirty of the Lads to read the 
several Lines softly as they appeared upon the Frame; and where they 
found three or four Words together that might make part of a Sentence, 
they dictated to the four remaining Boys who were Scribes. This Work was 
repeated three or four Times, and at every turn the Engine was so 
contrived that the Words shifted into new Places, as the Square bits of 
Wood moved upside down.

                 [Plate 5: The Literary Engine]

Six Hours a-day the young Students were employed in this Labour, and the 
Professor shewed me several Volumes in large Folio already collected, of 
broken Sentences, which he intended to piece together, and out of those 
rich Materials to give the World a compleat Body of all Arts and Sciences; 
which however might be still improved, and much expedited, if the Publick 
would raise a Fund for making and employing five hundred such Frames in 
Lagado, and oblige the Managers to contribute in common their several 
Collections. 

He assured me, that this Invention had employed all his Thoughts from his 
Youth, that he had emptyed the whole Vocabulary into his Frame, and 
made the strictest Computation of the general Proportion there is in Books 
between the Numbers of Particles, Nouns, and Verbs, and other Parts of 
Speech. 

I made my humblest Acknowledgement to this illustrious Person for his 
great Communicativeness, and promised if ever I had the good Fortune to 
return to my Native Country, that I would do him Justice, as the sole 
Inventer of this wonderful Machine; the Form and Contrivance of which I 
desired Leave to delineate upon Paper, as in the Figure here annexed. I told 
him, although it were the Custom of our Learned in Europe to steal 
Inventions from each other, who had thereby at least this Advantage, that it 
became a Controversy which was the right Owner, yet I would take such 
Caution, that he should have the Honour entire without a Rival. 

We next went to the School of Languages, where three Professors sate in 
Consultation upon improving that of their own country. 

The first Project was to shorten Discourse by cutting Polysyllables into 
one, and leaving out Verbs and Participles, because in reality all things 
imaginable are but Nouns. 

The other, was a Scheme for entirely abolishing all Words whatsoever; and 
this was urged as a great Advantage in Point of Health as well as Brevity. 
For it is plain, that every Word we speak is in some Degree a Diminution 
of our Lungs by Corrosion, and consequently contributes to the shortning 
of our Lives. An Expedient was therefore offered, that since Words are 
only Names for Things, it would be more convenient for all Men to carry 
about them, such Things as were necessary to express the particular 
Business they are to discourse on. And this Invention would certainly have 
taken Place, to the great Ease as well as Health of the Subject, if the 
Women in conjunction with the Vulgar and Illiterate had not threatned to 
raise a Rebellion, unless they might be allowed the Liberty to speak with 
their Tongues, after the manner of their Ancestors; such constant 
irreconcilable Enemies to Science are the common People. However, many 
of the most Learned and Wise adhere to the New Scheme of expressing 
themselves by Things, which hath only this Inconvenience attending it, that 
if a Man's Business be very great, and of various kinds, he must be obliged 
in Proportion to carry a greater bundle of Thingsupon his Back, unless he 
can afford one or two strong Servants to attend him. I have often beheld 
two of those Sages almost sinking under the Weight of their Packs, like 
Pedlars among us; who, when they met in the Streets, would lay down their 
Loads, open their Sacks, and hold Conversation for an Hour together; then 
put up their Implements, help each other to resume their Burthens, and 
take their Leave. 

But for short Conversations a Man may carry Implements in his Pockets 
and under his Arms, enough to supply him, and in his House he cannot be 
at a loss: Therefore the Room where Company meet who practise this Art, 
is full of all Things ready at Hand, requisite to furnish Matter for this kind 
of artificial Converse. 

Another great Advantage proposed by this Invention, was that it would 
serve as a Universal Language to be understood in all civilized Nations, 
whose Goods and Utensils are generally of the same kind, or nearly 
resembling, so that their Uses might easily be comprehended. And thus 
Embassadors would be qualified to treat with foreign Princes or Ministers 
of State to whose Tongues they were utter Strangers. 

I was at the Mathematical School, where the Master taught his Pupils after 
a Method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The Proposition and 
Demonstration were fairly written on a thin Wafer, with ink composed of a 
Cephalick Tincture. This the Student was to swallow upon a fasting 
Stomach, and for three Days following eat nothing but Bread and Water. 
As the Wafer digested, the Tincture mounted to his Brain, bearing the 
Proposition along with it. But the Success hath not hitherto been 
answerable, partly by some Error in the Quantum or Composition, and 
partly by the Perverseness of Lads, to whom this Bolus is so nauseous, that 
they generally steal aside, and discharge it upwards before it can operate, 
neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long an Abstinence as the 
Prescription required. 

CHAPTER VI.

A further Account of the Academy. The Author proposes some 
Improvements which are honourably received. 

IN THE SCHOOL of Political Projectors I was but ill entertained, the 
Professors appearing in my Judgement wholly out of their Senses, which is 
a Scene that never fails to make me melancholy. These unhappy People 
were proposing Schemes for persuading Monarchs to chuse Favourites 
upon the Score of their Wisdom, Capacity, and Virtue; of teaching 
Ministers to consult the Publick Good; of rewarding Merit, great Abilities, 
eminent Services; of instructing Princes to know their true Interest by 
placing it on the same Foundation with that of their People: Of chusing for 
Employments Persons qualified to exercise them; with many other wild 
impossible Chimaeras, that never entred before into the heart of Man to 
conceive, and confirmed in me the old Observation, that there is nothing so 
extravagant and irrational which some Philosophers have not maintained 
for Truth. 

But, however I shall so far do Justice to this Part of the Academy, as to 
acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There was a most 
Ingenious Doctor who seemed to be perfectly versed in the whole Nature 
and System of Government. This illustrious Person had very usefully 
employed his Studies in finding out effectual Remedys for all Diseases and 
Corruptions, to which the several kinds of publick Administration are 
subject by the Vices or Infirmities of those who govern, as well as by the 
Licentiousness of those who are to obey. For instance; whereas all Writers 
and Reasoners have agreed, that there is a strict universal Resemblance 
between the Natural and the Politcal Body; can there be anything more 
evident, than that the Health of both must be preserved, and the Diseases 
cured by the same Prescriptions? It is allowed that Senates and great 
Councils are often troubled with redundant, ebullient, and other peccant 
Humours, with many Diseases of the Head, and more of the Heart; with 
strong Convulsions, with grievous Contractions of the Nerves and Sinews 
in both Hands, but especially the Right: With Spleen, Flatus, Vertigos, and 
Deliriums; with Scrophulous Tumours full of f<>tid purulent Matter; with 
sower frothy Ructations, with Canine Appetites and crudeness of Digestion, 
besides many others needless to mention. This Doctor therefore proposed, 
that upon the Meeting of a Senate, certain Physicians should attend at the 
three first Days of their sitting, and at the Close of each day's Debate, feel 
the Pulses of every Senator; after which having maturely considered, and 
consulted upon the Nature of the several Maladies, and the Methods of 
Cure, they should on the fourth Day return to the Senate House, attended 
by their Apothecaries stored with proper Medicines, and before the 
Members sate, administer to each of them Lenitives, Aperitives, 
Abstersives, Currosives, Restringents, Palliatives, Laxatives, Cephalalgicks, 
Ictericks, Apophlegmaticks, Acousticks, as their several Cases required, 
and according as these Medicines should operate, repeat, alter, or omit 
them at the next Meeting. 

This Project could not be of any great Expense to the Publick, and would 
in my poor Opinion, be of much Use for the Dispatch of Business in those 
Countries where Senates have any share in the Legislative Power; beget 
Unanimity, shorten Debates, open a few Mouths which are now closed, and 
close many more which are now open; curb the Petulancy of the Young, 
and correct the Positiveness of the Old; rouze the Stupid, and damp the 
Pert. 

Again, Because it is a general Complaint that the Favourites of Princes are 
troubled with short and weak Memories; the same Doctor proposed, that 
whoever attended a First Minister, after having told his business with the 
utmost Brevity, and in the plainest Words; should at his Departure give the 
said Minister a Tweak by the Nose, or a kick in the Belly, or tread on his 
Corns, or lug him thrice by both Ears, or run a Pin into his Breech, or 
pinch his Arm black and blew, to prevent Forgetfulness: and at every 
Levee Day repeat the same Operation, till the Business were done or 
absolutely refused. 

He likewise directed, that every Senator in the great Council of a Nation, 
after he had delivered his Opinion, and argued in the Defence of it, should 
be obliged to give his Vote directly contrary; because if that were done, the 
Result would infallibly terminate in the Good of the Publick. 

When Parties in a State are violent, he offered a wonderful Contrivance to 
reconcile them. The Method is this. You take an Hundred Leaders of each 
Party, you dispose of them into Couples of such whose Heads are nearest of 
a size; then let two nice operators saw off the Occiput of each Couple at the 
same time, in such a manner that the Brain may be equally divided. Let the 
Occiputs thus cut off be interchanged, applying each to the Head of his 
opposite Party-man. It seems indeed to be a Work that requireth some 
exactness, but the Professor assured us, that if it were dexterously 
performed, the Cure would be infallible. For he argued thus; that the two 
half Brains being left to debate the Matter between themselves within the 
space of one Scull, would soon come to a good Understanding, and produce 
that Moderation, as well as Regularity of Thinking, so much to be wished 
for in the Heads of those who imagine they come into the World only to 
watch and govern its Motion: And as to the difference of Brains in 
Quantity or Quality, among those who are Directors in Faction; the Doctor 
assured us from his own knowledge, that it was a perfect Trifle. 

I heard a very warm Debate between two Professors, about the most 
commodious and effectual Ways and Means of raising Money without 
grieving the Subject. The first affirmed the justest Method would be to lay 
a certain Tax upon Vices and Folly, and the Sum fixed upon every Man, to 
be rated after the fairest Manner by a Jury of his Neighbours. The second 
was of an Opinion directly contrary, to Tax those Qualities of Body and 
Mind for which Men chiefly value themselves, the Rate to be more or less 
according to the Degrees of excelling, the decision whereof should be left 
entirely to their own Breast. The highest Tax was upon Men who are the 
greatest Favourites of the other Sex, and the Assessments according to the 
Number and Natures of the Favours they have received; for which they are 
allowed to be their own Vouchers. Wit, Valour, and Politeness were 
likewise proposed to be largely taxed and collected in the same manner, by 
every Person's giving his own Word for the Qantum of what he possessed. 
But as to Honour, Justice, Wisdom, and Learning, they should not be taxed 
at all, because they are Qualifications of so singular a Kind, that no Man 
will either allow them in his Neighbour, or value them in himself. 

The Women were proposed to be taxed according to their Beauty and skill 
in Dressing, wherein they had the same Priviledge with the Men, to be 
determined by their own Judgement. But Constancy, Chastity, good Sense, 
and good Nature were not rated, because they would not bear the Charge 
of Collecting. 

To keep Senators in the Interest of the Crown, it was proposed that the 
Members should raffle for Employments, every Man first taking an Oath, 
and giving Security that he would Vote for the Court, whether he won or 
no, after which the Losers had in their Turn the liberty of Raffling upon 
the next Vacancy. Thus Hope and Expectation would be kept alive, none 
would complain of broken Promises, but impute their disappointments 
wholly to Fortune, whose Shoulders are broader and stronger than those of 
a Ministry. 

Another Professor shewed me a large Paper of Instructions for discovering 
Plots and Conspiracies against the Governments. He advised great 
Statesmen to examine into the Dyet of all suspected Persons; their times of 
eating; upon which side they lay in Bed; with which hand they wiped their 
Posteriors; take a strict View of their Excrements, and from the Colour, 
the Odour, the Taste, the Consistence, the Crudeness, or Maturity of 
Digestion, form a Judgement of their Thoughts and Designs. Because Men 
are never so Serious, Thoughtful, and Intent, as when they are at Stool, 
which he found by frequent Experiment: For in such Conjunctures, when 
he used meerly as a Trial to consider which was the best way of murdering 
the King, his Ordure would have A Tincture of Green, but quite different 
when he thought only of raising an Insurrection or burning the Metropolis. 

The whole Discourse was written with great Acuteness, containing many 
Observations both curious and useful for Politicians, but as I conceived not 
altogether compleat. This I ventured to tell the Author, and offered if he 
pleased to supply him with some Additions. He received my Proposition 
with more Compliance than is usual among Writers, especially those of the 
projecting Species, professing he would be glad to receive farther 
Information. 

I told him, that in the Kingdom of Tribnia, by the Natives called
Langden, where I had long sojourned, the Bulk of the People consisted
wholly of Discoverers, Witnesses, Informers, Accusers, Prosecutors,
Evidences, Swearers; together with their several subservient and subaltern
Instruments; all under the Colours, the Conduct, and pay of Ministers, and
their deputies. The Plots in that Kingdom are usually the Workmanship of
those Persons who desire to raise their own Characters of profound
Politicians; to restore new Vigor to a crazy Administration; to stifle or
divert general Discontents; to fill their Coffers with Forfeitures; and
raise or sink the Opinion of publick Credit, as either shall best answer
their private Advantage. It is first agreed and settled among them, what
suspected Persons shall be accused of a Plot: Then, effectual Care is taken
to secure all their Letters and other Papers, and put the Owners in Chains.
These Papers are delivered to a Set of Artists, very dexterous in finding
out the mysterious Meanings of Words, Syllables and Letters. For
Instance, they can decypher a Close-stool to signify a Privy-Council; a
Flock of Geese, a Senate; a lame Dog, an Invader; the Plague, a standing
Army; a Buzzard, a Minister; the Gout, a High Priest; a Gibbet, a Secretary
of State; a Chamber pot, a Committee of Grandees; a Sieve, a Court Lady; 
a Broom, a Revolution; a Mouse-trap, an Employment; a bottomless Pit, 
the Treasury; a Sink, a C---t; a Cap and Bells, a Favourite; a broken Reed, 
a Court of Justice; an empty Tun, a General; a running Sore, the
Administration.  

 When this Method fails, they have two others more effectual; which the
Learned among them call Acrosticks and Anagrams. First, they can
decypher all initial Letters into political Meanings. Thus, N, shall signify
a Plot; B, a regiment of Horse; L,. a Fleet at Sea. Or, secondly, by
transposing the Letters of the Alphabet, in any suspected Paper, they can
discover the deepest Designs of a discontented Party. So for Example, if I
should say in a Letter to a Friend, Our Brother Tom has just got the
Piles; a Man of Skill in this Art would discover how the same Letters
which compose that Sentence, may be analysed into the following words:
Resist, ----- a Plot is brought home ----- The Tour. And this is the
Anagrammatick Method. 

The Professor made me great Acknowledgments for communicating these 
Observations, and promised to make honourable Mention of me in his 
Treatise. 

I saw nothing in this Country that could invite me to a longer Continuance; 
and began to think of returning home to England. 

CHAPTER VII.

The Author leaves Lagado, arrives at Maldonada. No Ship ready. He takes 
a short Voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His Reception by the Governor 

[T]he Continent of which this Kingdom is a part, extends itself, as I have 
reason to believe, Eastward to that unknown Tract of America, Westward 
of California, and North to the Pacifick Ocean, which is not above an 
hundred and fifty Miles from Lagado; where there is a good Port and 
much Commerce with the great Island of Luggnagg, situated to the North-
West about 29 Degrees North Latitude, and 140 Longitude. This Island of 
Luggnagg stands South-Eastwards of Japan, about an hundred Leagues 
distant. There is a strict Alliance between the Japanese Emperor and the 
King of Luggnagg, which affords frequent Opportunities of sailing from 
one Island to the other. I determined therefore to direct my Course this 
Way, in order to my Return to Europe. I hired two Mules with a Guide to 
shew me the way, and carry my small Baggage. I took Leave of my noble 
Protector, who had shewn me so much Favour, and made me a generous 
Present at my Departure. 

My Journey was without any Accident or Adventure worth relating. When 
I arrived at the Port of Maldonada, (for so it is called) there was no Ship in 
the Harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor like to be in some time. The Town 
is about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell into some Acquaintance, and 
was very hospitably received. A Gentleman of Distinction said to me that 
since the Ships bound for Luggnagg could not be ready in less than a 
Month, it might be no disagreeable Amusement for me to take a Trip to the 
little Island of Glubbdubdrib, about five Leagues off to the South-West. He 
offered himself and a Friend to accompany me, and that I should be 
provided with a small convenient Barque for the Voyage. 

GLUBBDUBDRIB, as nearly as I can interpret the Word, signifies the 
Island of Sorcerers or Magicians. It is about one third as large as the Isle of 
Wight, and extremely Fruitful: It is governed by the Head of a certain 
Tribe, who are all Magicians. This Tribe marries only among each other, 
and the eldest in Succession is Prince or Governor. He hath a noble Palace, 
and a Park of about three thousand Acres, surrounded by a Wall of hewn 
Stone twenty Foot high. In this Park are several small enclosures for 
Cattle, Corn, and Gardening. 

The Governor and his Family are served and attended by Domesticks of a 
Kind somewhat unusual. By his Skill in Necromancy, he hath a Power of 
calling whom he pleaseth from the Dead, and commanding their Service 
for twenty-four Hours, but no longer; nor can he call the same Persons up 
again in less than three Months, except upon very extraordinary Occasions. 

When we arrived at the Island, which was about Eleven in the Morning, 
one of the Gentlemen who accompanied me, went to the Governour, and 
desired admittance for a Stranger, who came on Purpose to have the 
Honour of attending on his Highness. This was immediately granted, and 
we all three entered the Gate of the Palace between two rows of Guards, 
armed and dressed after a very antick Manner, and something in their 
Countenances that made my Flesh creep with a Horror I cannot express. 
We passed through several Apartments between Servants of the same Sort, 
ranked on each side as before, till we came to the Chamber of Presence, 
where after three profound Obeysances, and a few general Questions, we 
were permitted to sit on three Stools near the lowest Step of his Highness's 
Throne. He understood the Language of Balnibarbi, although it were 
different from that of his Island. He desired me to give him some Account 
of my Travels; and to let me see that I should be treated without 
Ceremony, he dismissed all his Attendants with a Turn of his Finger, at 
which to my great Astonishment they vanished in an Instant, like Visions in 
a Dream, when we awake on a sudden. I could not recover my self in some 
Time, till the Governor assured me that I should receive no Hurt; and 
observing my two Companions to be under no Concern, who had been 
often entertained in the same Manner, I began to take Courage; and related 
to his Highness a short History of my several Adventures, yet not without 
some Hesitation, and frequently looking behind me to the Place where I had 
seen those domestick Spectres. I had the Honour to dine with the Governor, 
where a new set of Ghosts served up the Meat, and waited at Table. I now 
observed myself to be less terrified than I had been in the Morning. I 
stayed till Sun-set, but humbly desired his Highness to excuse me for not 
accepting his Invitation of lodging in the Palace. My two Friends and I lay 
at a private House in the Town adjoining, which is the Capital of this little 
Island; and the next Morning we returned to pay our Duty to the 
Governor, as he was pleased to command us. 

After this Manner we continued in the Island for ten Days, most Part of 
every Day with the Governor, and at Night in our Lodging. I soon grew so 
familiarized to the Sight of Spirits, that after the third or fourth Time they 
gave me no Emotion at all; or if I had any Apprehensions left, my 
Curiosity prevailed over them. For his Highness the Governor ordered me 
to call up whatever Persons I would choose to name, and in whatever 
Numbers among all the Dead from the Beginning of the World to the 
present Time, and command them to answer any Questions I should think 
fit to ask; with this Condition, that my Questions must be confined within 
the Compass of the Times they lived in. And one Thing I might depend 
upon, that they would certainly tell me Truth, for Lying was a Talent of no 
Use in the lower World. 

I made my humble Acknowledgments to his Highness for so great a 
Favour. We were in a Chamber, from whence there was a fair Prospect 
into the Park. And because my first Inclination was to be entertained with 
Scenes of Pomp and Magnificence, I desired to see Alexander the Great, at 
the Head of his Army just after the battle of Arbela; which upon a Motion 
of the Governor's Finger immediately appeared in a large Field under the 
Window, where we stood. Alexander was called up into the Room: Iit was 
with great Difficulty that I understood his Greek, and had but little of my 
own. He assured me upon his Honour that he was not poisoned, but died of 
a Fever by excessive Drinking. 

Next I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me he had not a Drop of 
Vinegar in his Camp. 

I saw C&aeligsar and Pompey at the Head of their Troops just ready to 
engage. I saw the former in his last great Triumph. I desired that the 
Senate of Rome might appear before me in one large Chamber, and an 
Assembly of somewhat a latter Age, in Counterview in another. The first 
seemed to be an Assembly of Heroes and Demy-Gods; the other a Knot of 
Pedlars, Pickpockets, High-way-men, and Bullies. 

The Governor at my Request gave the Sign for C&aeligsar and Brutus to 
advance towards us. I was struck with a profound Veneration at the Sight 
of Brutus; and could easily discover the most consummate Virtue, the 
greatest Intrepidity and Firmness of Mind, the truest Love of his Country, 
and general Benevolence for Mankind in every Lineament of his 
Countenance. I observed with much Pleasure, that these two Persons were 
in good Intelligence with each other, and C&aeligsar freely confessed to 
me that the greatest Actions of his own Life were not equal by many 
Degrees to the Glory of taking it away. I had the Honour to have much 
Conversation with Brutus; and was told that his Ancestor Junius, Socrates, 
Epaminondas, Cato the Younger, Sir Thomas More and himself, were 
perpetually together: A Sextumvirate to which all the Ages of the World 
cannot add a Seventh. 

It would be tedious to trouble the Reader with relating what vast Numbers 
of illustrious Persons were called up, to gratify that insatiable Desire I had 
to see the World in every Period of Antiquity placed before me. I chiefly 
fed mine Eyes with beholding the Destroyers of Tyrants and Usurpers, and 
the Restorers of Liberty to oppressed and injured Nations. But it is 
impossible to express the Satisfaction I received in my own Mind, after 
such a Manner as to make it a suitable Entertainment to the Reader. 

CHAPTER VIII.

A further Account of Glubbdubdrib. Antient and Modern History 
corrected. 

HAVING A DESIRE to see those Antients, who were most renowned for 
Wit and Learning, I set apart one Day on purpose. I proposed that Homer 
and Aristotle might appear at the Head of all their Commentators; but these 
were so numerous that some hundreds were forced to attend in the Court 
and outward Rooms of the Palace. I knew and could distinguish those two 
Heroes at first sight, not only from the Croud, but from each other. Homer 
was the taller and comelier Person of the two, walked very erect for one of 
his Age, and his Eyes were the most quick and piercing I ever beheld. 
Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a Staff. His Visage was meager, 
his Hair lank and thin, and his Voice hollow. I soon discovered that both of 
were perfect Strangers to the rest of the Company, and had never seen or 
heard of them before. And I had a Whisper from a Ghost, who shall be 
nameless, that these Commentators always kept in the most distant Quarters 
from their Principals in the lower World, through a Consciousness of 
Shame and Guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the Meaning 
of those Authors to Posterity. I introduced Didymus and Eustathius to 
Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better than perhaps they 
deserved; for he soon found they wanted a Genius to enter into the Spirit of 
a poet. But Aristotle was out of all Patience with the Account I gave him of 
Scotus and Ramus, as I presented them to him; and he asked them whether 
the rest of the Tribe were as great Dunces as themselves. 

I then desired the Governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with whom 
I prevailed to explain their Systems to Aristotle. This great Philosopher 
freely acknowledged his own Mistakes in Natural Philosophy, because he 
proceeded in many things upon Conjecture, as all Men must do; and he 
found, that Gassendi, who had made the Doctrine of Epicurus as palatable 
as he could, and the Vortices of Descartes were equally exploded. He 
predicted the same Fate to Attraction, whereof the present Learned are 
such zealous Asserters. He said, that new Systems of Nature were but new 
Fashions, which would vary in every Age; and even those who pretend to 
demonstrate them from Mathematical Principles, would flourish but a short 
Period of Time, and be out of Vogue when that was determined. 

I spent five Days in conversing with many others of the antient Learned. I 
saw most of the first Roman Emperors. I prevailed on the Governor to call 
up Eliogabalus's Cooks to dress us a Dinner, but they could not shew us 
much of their Skill, for Want of Materials. A Helot of Agesilaus made us a 
Dish of Spartan Broth, but I was not able to get down a second Spoonful. 

The two Gentlemen who conducted me to the Island were pressed by their 
private Affairs to return in three Days, which I employed in seeing some 
of the modern Dead, who had made the greatest Figure for two or three 
hundred Years past in our own and other Countries of Europe; and having 
been always a great Admirer of old illustrious Families, I desired the 
Governor call up a dozen or two of Kings with their Ancestors in order 
for eight or nine Generations. But my Disappointment was grevious and 
unexpected. For instead of a long Train with Royal Diadems, I saw in one 
Family two Fidlers, three spruce Courtiers, and an Italian Prelate. In 
another a Barber, an Abbot, and two Cardinals. I have too great a 
Veneration for Crowned Heads to dwell any longer on so nice a Subject. 
But as to Counts, Marquesses, Dukes, Earls, and the like I was not so 
scrupulous. And I confess it was not without some Pleasure that I found my 
self able to trace the particular Features, by which certain Families are 
distinguished up to their Originals. I could plainly discover from whence 
one Family derives a long Chin, why a second has abounded with Knaves 
for two Generations, and Fools for two more; why a third happened to be 
crack-brained, and a fourth to be Sharpers. Whence it came what Polydore 
Virgil says of a certain great House, Nec Vir fortis, nec Femina Casta. How 
Cruelty, Falsehood, and Cowardice grew to be Characteristicks by which 
certain families are distinguished as much as by their Coat of Arms. Who 
first brought the Pox into a noble House, which has lineally descended in 
scrophulous Tumours to their Posterity. Neither could I wonder at all this, 
when I saw such an Interruption of Lineages by Pages, Lackeys, Valets, 
Coachmen, Gamesters, Captains and Pickpockets. 

I was chiefly disgusted with modern History. For having strictly examined 
all the Persons of greatest Name in the Courts of Princes for a hundred 
Years past, I found how the World had been misled by prostitute Writers, 
to ascribe the greatest Exploits in War to Cowards, the wisest Counsel to 
Fools, Sincerity to Flatterers, Roman Virtue to Betrayers of their Country, 
Piety to Atheists, Chastity to Sodomites, Truth to Informers. How many 
innocent and excellent Persons had been condemned to Death or 
Banishment, by the practising of great Ministers upon the Corruption of 
Judges, and the Malice of Faction. How many Villains had been exalted to 
the highest Places of Trust, Power, Dignity, and Profit: How great a Share 
in the Motions and Events of Courts, Councils, and Senates might be 
challenged by Bawds, Whores, Pimps, Parasites, and Buffoons: How low an 
Opinion I had of human Wisdom and Integrity, when I was truly informed 
of the Springs and Motives of great Enterprises and Revolutions in the 
World, and of the contemptible Accidents to which they owed their 
Success. 

Here I discovered the Roguery and Ignorance of those who pretend to 
write Anecdotes, or secret History, who send so many Kings to their 
Graves with a Cup of Poison; will repeat the Discourse between a Prince 
and Chief Minister, where no Witness was by; unlock the Thoughts and 
Cabinets of Embassadors and Secretaries of State, and have the perpetual 
Misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the secret Causes of many 
great Events that have surprized the World, how a Whore can Govern the 
Back-stairs, the Back-stairs a Council, and the Council a Senate. A General 
confessed in my Presence, that he got a Victory purely by the Force of 
Cowardice and ill Conduct: and an Admiral that for Want of proper 
Intelligence, he beat the Enemy to whom he intended to betray the Fleet. 
Three Kings protested to me, that in their whole Reigns they never did 
once prefer any Person of Merit, unless by Mistake or Treachery of some 
Minister in whom they confided: Neither would they do it if they were to 
live again; and they shewed with great Strength of Reason, that the Royal 
Throne could not be supported without Corruption, because that positive, 
confident, restive Temper, which Virtue infused into Man, was a perpetual 
Clog to publick Business. 

I had the Curiosity to enquire in a particular Manner, by what Method 
great Numbers had procured to themselves high Titles of Honour, and 
prodigious Estates; and I confined my Enquiry to a very modern Period; 
however, without grating upon present Times, because I would be sure to 
give no Offence even to Foreigners (for I hope the Reader need not be told 
that I do not in the least intend my own Country in what I say upon this 
Occasion), a great Number of Persons concerned were called up, and upon 
a very slight Examination, discovered such a Scene of Infamy, that I cannot 
reflect upon it without some Seriousness. Perjury, Oppression, 
Subornation, Fraud, Panderism, and the like Infirmities, were amongst the 
most excusable Arts they had to mention, and for these I gave, as it was 
reasonable, great Allowance. But when some confessed they owed their 
Greatness and Wealth to Sodomy or Incest, others to the prostituting of 
their own Wives and Daughters; others to the betraying of their Country or 
their Prince; some to Poisoning, more to the perverting of Justice in order 
to destroy the Innocent: I hope I may be pardoned if these Discoveries 
inclined me little to abate of that profound Veneration which I am naturally 
apt to pay to Persons of high Rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost 
respect due to their sublime Dignity, by us their Inferiors. 

I had often read of some great Services done to Princes and States, and 
desired to see the Persons by whom those Services were performed. Upon 
Enquiry I was told that their Names were to be found on no Record, except 
a few of them whom History has represented as the vilest Rogues and 
Traitors. As to the rest, I had never once heard of them. They all appeared 
with dejected Looks, and in the meanest Habit, most of them telling me 
they died in Poverty and Disgrace, and the rest on a Scaffold or a Gibbet. 

Among the rest there was one Person whose Case appeared a little singular. 
He had a Youth about Eighteen Years old standing by his Side. He told me 
he had for many Years been Commander of a Ship, and in the Sea Fight at 
Actium had the good Fortune to break through the Enemy's great Line of 
Battle, sink three of their Capital Ships, and take a fourth, which was the 
sole Cause of Antony's Flight, and of the Victory that ensued; that the 
Youth standing by him, his only Son, was killed in Action. He added, that 
upon the Confidence of some Merit, the war being at an End, he went to 
Rome, and solicited at the Court of Augustus to be preferred to a greater 
Ship, whose Commander had been killed; but without any Regard to his 
Pretensions, it was given to a Youth who had never seen the Sea, the Son of 
Libertina, who waited on one of the Emperor's Mistresses. Returning back 
to his own Vessel, he was charged with Neglect of Duty, and the Ship given 
to a favourite Page of Publicola, the Vice-Admiral; whereupon he retired 
to a poor Farm, at a great Distance from Rome, and there ended his Life. I 
was so curious to know the Truth of this Story, that I desired Agrippa 
might be called, who was Admiral in that Fight. He appeared, and 
confirmed the whole Account, but with much more Advantage to the 
Captain, whose Modesty had extenuated or concealed a great Part of his 
Merit. 

I was surprized to find Corruption grown so high and so quick in that 
Empire, by the Force of Luxury so lately introduced, which made me less 
wonder at many parallel Cases in other Countries, where Vices of all Kinds 
have reigned so much longer, and where the whole Praise as well as Pillage 
has been engrossed by the chief Commander, who perhaps had the least 
Title to either. 

As every Person called up made exactly the same Appearance he had done 
in the World, it gave me melancholy Reflections to observe how much the 
Race of human Kind was degenerate among us, within these Hundred Years 
past. How the Pox under all its Consequences and Denominations had 
altered every Lineament of an English Countenance, shortned the Size of 
Bodies, unbraced the Nerves, relaxed the Sinews and Muscles, introduced a 
sallow Complexion, and rendered the Flesh loose and rancid. 

I descended so low as to desire that some English Yeomen of the old Stamp 
might be summoned to appear, once so famous for the Simplicity of their 
Manners, Dyet and Dress, for Justice in their Dealings, for their true Spirit 
of Liberty, for their Valour and Love of their Country. Neither could I be 
wholly unmov'd after comparing the Living with the Dead, when I 
considered how all these pure native Virtues were prostituted for a Piece of 
Money by their Grand-children, who in selling their Votes, and managing 
at Elections have acquired every Vice and Corruption that can possibly be 
learned in a Court. 

CHAPTER IX.

The Author's Return to Maldonada. Sails to the Kingdom of Luggnagg. 
The Author confined. He is sent for to Court. The manner of his 
Admittance. The King's great Lenity to his Subjects. 

THE DAY OF our Departure being come, I took Leave of his Highness the 
Governor of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my two Companions to 
Maldonada, where after a Fortnight's waiting, a Ship was ready to sail for 
Luggnagg. The two Gentlemen and some others were so generous and Kind 
as to furnish me with Provisions, and see me on board. I was a Month in 
this Voyage. We had one violent Storm and were under a Necessity of 
steering Westward to get into the Trade-Wind, which holds for above sixty 
Leagues. On the 21st of April, 1711, we sailed into the River of 
Clumegnig, which is a Sea-port Town, at the South-East Point of 
Luggnagg. We cast Anchor within a League of the Town, and made a 
Signal for a Pilot. Two of them came on board in less than half an Hour, 
by whom we were guided between certain Shoals and Rocks, which are 
very dangerous in the Passage, to a large Basin, where a Fleet may ride in 
Safety within a Cable's Length of the Town Wall. 

Some of our Sailors, whether out of Treachery or Inadvertence, had 
informed the Pilots that I was a Stranger and a Traveller, whereof these 
gave Notice to a Custom-House Officer, by whom I was examined very 
strictly upon my landing. This Officer spoke to me in the Language of 
Balnibarbi, which by the Force of much Commerce is generally understood 
in that Town, especially by Seamen, and those employed in the Customs. I 
gave him a short Account of some Particulars, and made my Story as 
plausible and consistent as I could; but I thought it necessary to disguise my 
Country, and call my self an Hollander, because my Intentions were for 
Japan, and I knew the Dutch were the only Europeans permitted to enter 
into that Kingdom. I therefore told the Officer, that having been 
shipwrecked on the Coast of Balnibarbi, and cast on a Rock, I was received 
up into Laputa, or the flying Island (of which he had often heard), and was 
now endeavouring to get to Japan, from whence I might find a 
Convenience of returning to my own Country. The Officer said I must be 
confined till he could receive Orders from Court, for which he would 
write immediately, and hoped to receive an Answer in a fortnight. I was 
carried to a convenient Lodging, with a Centry placed at the Door; 
however I had the Liberty of a large Garden, and was treated with 
Humanity enough, being maintained all the Time at the King's Charge. I 
was visited by several Persons, chiefly out of Curiosity, because it was 
reported that I came from Countries very remote of which they had never 
heard. 

I hired a young Man who came in the same Ship to be an interpreter; he 
was a native of Luggnagg, but had lived some Years at Maldonada, and was 
a perfect Master of both Languages. By his Assistance I was able to hold a 
Conversation with those who came to visit me; but this consisted only of 
their Questions, and my Answers. 

The Dispatch came from Court about the Time we expected. It contain'd a 
Warrant for conducting me and my Retinue to Traldragdubb or 
Trildrogdrib, for it is pronounced both ways as near as I can remember, 
by a Party of Ten Horse. All my Retinue was that poor Lad for an 
Interpreter, whom I persuaded into my Service, and at my humble Request, 
we had each of us a Mule to ride on. A Messenger was dispatch'd half a 
Day's Journey before us, to give the King Notice of my Approach, and to 
desire that his Majesty would please appoint a Day and Hour, when it 
would be his gracious Pleasure that I might have the Honour to lick the 
Dust before his Footstool. This is the Court Style, and I found it to be more 
than Matter of Form: For upon my Admittance two Days after my Arrival, 
I was commanded to crawl upon my Belly, and lick the Floor as I 
advanced; but on Account of my being a Stranger, Care was taken to have 
it made so clean that the Dust was not offensive. However, this was a 
peculiar Grace, not allowed to any but Persons of the highest Rank, when 
they desire an Admittance. Nay, sometimes the Floor is strewed with Dust 
on purpose, when the Person to be admitted happens to have powerful 
Enemies at Court. And I have seen a great Lord with his Mouth so 
crammed, that when he had crept to the proper Distance from the Throne, 
he was not able to speak a Word. Neither is there any Remedy, because it is 
capital for those who receive an Audience to spit or wipe their Mouths in 
his Majesty's Presence. There is indeed another Custom, which I cannot 
altogether approve of. When the King has a Mind to put any of his Nobles 
to Death in a gentle indulgent Manner; he commands to have the Floor 
strowed with a certain brown Powder, of a deadly Composition, which 
being licked up infallibly kills him in twenty-four Hours. But in Justice to 
this Prince's great Clemency, and the Care he hath of his Subject's Lives 
(wherein it were much to be wished that the Monarchs of Europe would 
imitate him) it must be mentioned for his Honour, that strict Orders are 
given to have the infected Parts of the Floor well washed after every such 
Execution; which if his Domesticks neglect, they are in Danger of 
incurring his Royal Displeasure. I my self heard him give Directions, that 
one of his Pages should be whipt, whose Turn it was to give Notice about 
washing the Floor after an Execution, but maliciously had omitted it; by 
which Neglect a young Lord of great Hopes coming to an Audience, was 
unfortunately poisoned, although the King at that Time had no Design 
against his Life. But this good Prince was so gracious, as to forgive the 
poor Page his Whipping, upon Promise that he would do so no more, 
without special Orders. 

To return from this Digression; when I had crept within four Yards of the 
Throne, I raised my self gently upon my Knees, and then striking my 
Forehead seven Times on the Ground, I pronounced the following Words, 
as they had been taught me the Night before, Ickpling Gloffthrobb 
Squutserumm blhiop Mlashnalt Zwin tnodbalkguffh Slhiophad Gurdlubh 
Asht. This is the Compliment established by the Laws of the Land for all 
Persons admitted to the King's Presence. It may be rendered into English 
thus: May your celestial Majesty out-live the Sun, eleven Moons and an 
half. To this the King returned some Answer, which although I could not 
understand, yet I replied as I had been directed; Fluft drin Yalerick 
Dwuldum prastrad mirplush, which properly signifies, My Tongue is in the 
Mouth of my Friend; and by this Expression was meant that I desired leave 
to bring my Interpreter; whereupon the young Man already mentioned was 
accordingly introduced, by whose Intervention I answer'd as many 
Questions as his Majesty could put in above an Hour. I spoke in the 
Balnibarbian Tongue, and my Interpreter delivered my Meaning in that of 
Luggnagg. 

The King was much delighted with my Company, and ordered his 
Bliffmarklub or high Chamberlain, to appoint a Lodging in the Court for 
me and my Interpreter, with a daily Allowance for my Table, and a large 
Purse of Gold for my common Expenses. 

I stayed three Months in this Country out of perfect Obedience to his 
Majesty, who was pleased highly to favour me, and made me very 
honourable Offers. But, I thought it more consistent with Prudence and 
Justice to pass the remainder of my Days with my Wife and Family. 

CHAPTER X.

The Luggnuggians commended. A particular Description of the 
Struldbruggs, with many Conversations between the Author and some 
eminent Persons upon that Subject. 

THE LUGGNUGGIANS are a polite and generous People, and although 
they are not without some Share of that Pride which is peculiar to all 
Eastern Countries, yet they shew themselves courteous to Strangers, 
especially such who are countenanced by the Court. I had many 
Acquaintance among Persons of the best Fashion, and being always 
attended by my Interpreter, the Conversation we had was not disagreeable. 

One Day in much good Company I was asked by a Person of Quality, 
whether I had seen any of their Struldbruggs, or Immortals. I said I had 
not, and desired he would explain to me what he meant by such an 
Appellation applied to a mortal Creature. He told me, that sometimes, 
though very rarely, a Child happened to be born in a Family with a red 
circular Spot in the Forehead, directly over the left Eyebrow, which was 
an infallible Mark that it should never dye. The Spot, as he described it, 
was about the Compass of a Silver Threepence, but in the Course of Time 
grew larger, and changed its Colour; for at twelve Years old it became 
Green, so continued till Five and Twenty, then turned to a deep Blue; at 
Five and Forty it grew coal Black, and as large as an English Shilling, but 
never admitted any further Alteration. He said these Births were so rare, 
that he did not believe there could be above Eleven Hundred Struldbruggs 
of both Sexes in the whole Kingdom, of which he computed about Fifty in 
the Metropolis, and among the rest a young Girl born about three Years 
ago. That these Productions were not peculiar to any Family, but a meer 
Effect of Chance; and the Children of the Struldbruggs themselves, were 
equally Mortal with the rest of the People. 

I freely own my self to have been struck with inexpressible Delight upon 
hearing this Account: And the Person who gave it me happening to 
understand the Balnibarbian Language, which I spoke very well, I could 
not forbear breaking out into Expressions perhaps a little too extravagant. I 
cryed out as in a Rapture; Happy Nation where every Child hath at least a 
Chance for being immortal! Happy People who enjoy so many living 
Examples of antient Virtue, and have Masters ready to instruct them in the 
Wisdom of all former Ages! But, happiest beyond all Comparison are those 
excellent Struldbruggs, who born exempt from that universal Calamity of 
human Nature, have their Minds free and disengaged, without the Weight 
and Depression of Spirits caused by the continual Apprehension of Death. I 
discovered my Admiration that I had not observed any of these illustrious 
Persons at Court; the black Spot on the Fore-head being so remarkable a 
Distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked it: And it was 
impossible that his Majesty, a most judicious Prince, should not provide 
himself with a good Number of such wise and able Counsellours. Yet 
perhaps the Virtue of those Reverend Sages was too strict for the corrupt 
and libertine Manners of a Court. And we often find by Experience, that 
young Men are too opinionative and volatile to be guided by the sober 
Dictates of their Seniors. However, since the King was pleased to allow me 
Access to his Royal Person, I was resolved upon the very first Occasion to 
deliver my Opinion to him on this Matter freely, and at large by the help 
of my Interpreter; and whether he would please to take my Advice or no, 
yet in one Thing I was determined, that his Majesty having frequently 
offered me an Establishment in this Country, I would with great 
Thankfulness accept the Favour, and pass my Life here in the Conversation 
of those superiour Beings the Struldbruggs, if they would please to admit 
me. 

The Gentleman to whom I addressed my Discourse, because (as I have 
already observed) he spoke the Language of Balnibarbi, said to me with a 
sort of a Smile, which usually ariseth from Pity to the Ignorant, that he was 
glad of any Occasion to keep me among them, and desired my Permission 
to explain to the Company what I had spoke. He did so, and they talked 
together for some time in their own Language, whereof I understood not a 
Syllable, neither could I observe by their Countenances what impression 
my Discourse had made on them. After a short Silence, the same Person 
told me that his Friends and mine (so he thought fit to express himself) 
were very much pleased with the judicious Remarks I had made on the 
great Happiness and Advantages of immortal Life, and they were desirous 
to know in a particular Manner, what Scheme of Living I should have 
formed to my self, if it had fallen to my Lot to have been born a 
Struldbrugg. 

I answered, it was easy to be Eloquent on so copious and delightful a 
Subject, especially to me who have been often apt to amuse my self with 
Visions of what I should do if I were a King, a General, or a great Lord: 
And upon this very Case I had frequently run over the whole System how I 
should employ my self, and pass the Time if I were sure to live for ever. 

That, if it had been my good Fortune to come into the World a 
Struldbrugg, as soon as I could discover my own Happiness by 
understanding the Difference between Life and Death, I would first resolve 
by all Arts and Methods whatsoever to procure my self Riches. In the 
Pursuit of which by Thrift and Management, I might reasonably expect, in 
about two Hundred Years to be the wealthiest Man in the Kingdom. In the 
second place, I would from my earliest Youth apply my self to the Study of 
Arts and Sciences, by which I should arrive in time to excel all others in 
Learning. Lastly I would carefully record every Action and Event of 
Consequence that happened in the Publick, impartially draw the Characters 
of the several Successions of Princes, and great Ministers of State, with my 
own Observations on every Point. I would exactly set down the several 
Changes in Customs, Languages, Fashions, Dress, Dyet and Diversions. By 
all which Acquirements, I should be a living Treasury of Knowledge and 
Wisdom, and certainly become the Oracle of the Nation. 

I would never marry after Threescore, but live in an hospitable Manner, 
yet still on the saving Side. I would entertain myself in forming and 
directing the Minds of hopeful young Men, by convincing them from my 
own Remembrance, Experience and Observation, fortified by numerous 
Examples, of the Usefulness of Virtue in publick and private Life. But, my 
Choice and constant Companions should be a sett of my own immortal 
Brother hood, among whom I would elect a Dozen from the most Ancient 
down to my own Contemporaries. Where any of these wanted Fortunes, I 
would provide them with convenient Lodges round my own Estate, and 
have some of them always at my Table, only mingling a few of the most 
valuable among you Mortals, whom length of Time would harden me to 
lose with little or no Reluctance, and treat your Posterity after the same 
Manner; just as a Man diverts himself with the annual Succession of Pinks 
and Tulips in his Garden, without regretting the Loss of those which 
withered the preceding Year. 

These Struldbruggs and I would mutually communicate our Observations 
and Memorials through the Course of Time, remark the several Gradations 
by which Corruption steals into the World, and oppose it in every Step, by 
giving perpetual Warning and Instruction to Mankind; which, added to the 
strong Influence of our own Example, would probably prevent that 
continual Degeneracy of Human Nature so justly complained of in all Ages. 

Add to all this the Pleasure of seeing the various Revolutions of States and 
Empires, the Changes in the lower and upper World, antient Cities in 
Ruins, and obscure Villages become the Seats of Kings. Famous Rivers 
lessening into shallow Brooks, the Ocean leaving one Coast dry, and 
overwhelming another: The Discovery of many Countries yet unknown. 
Barbarity over-running the politest Nations, and the most barbarous 
become civilized. I should then see the Discovery of the Longitude, the 
perpetual Motion, the Universal Medicine, and many other great Inventions 
brought to the utmost Perfection. 

What wonderful Discoveries should we make in Astronomy, by outliving 
and confirming our own Predictions, by observing the Progress and 
Returns of Comets, with the Changes of Motion in the Sun, Moon, and 
Stars. 

I enlarged upon many other Topicks, which the natural Desire of endless 
Life and sublunary Happiness could easily furnish me with. When I had 
ended, and the Sum of my Discourse had been interpreted as before, to the 
rest of the Company, there was a good deal of Talk among them the 
Language of the Country, not without some Laughter at my Expense. At 
last the same Gentleman who had been my Interpreter said, he was desired 
by the rest to set me right in a few Mistakes, which I had fallen into 
through the common Imbecility of human Nature, and upon that Allowance 
was less answerable for them. That this Breed of Struldbruggs was peculiar 
to their Country, for there were no such People either in Balnibarbi or 
Japan, where he had the Honour to be Embassador from his Majesty, and 
found the Natives in both these Kingdoms very hard to believe that the Fact 
was possible, and it appeared from my Astonishment when he first 
mentioned the Matter to me, that I received it as a thing wholly new, and 
scarcely to be credited. That in the two Kingdoms above mentioned, where 
during his Residence he had conversed very much, he observed long Life 
to be the universal Desire and Wish of Mankind. That whoever had one 
Foot in the Grave, was sure to hold back the other as strongly as he could. 
That the eldest had still hopes of living one Day longer, and looked on 
Death as the greatest Evil, from which Nature always prompted him to 
retreat; only in this Island of Luggnagg, the Appetite for living was not so 
eager, from the continual Example of the Struldbruggs before their Eyes. 

That the System of Living contrived by me was unreasonable and unjust, 
because it supposed a Perpetuity of Youth, Health, and Vigour, which no 
Man could be so foolish to hope, however extravagant he may be in his 
Wishes. That the Question therefore was not whether a Man would choose 
to be always in the Prime of Youth, attended with Prosperity and Health, 
but how he would pass a perpetual Life under all the usual Disadvantages 
which old Age brings along with it. For although few Men will avow their 
Desires of being immortal upon such hard Conditions, yet in the two 
Kingdoms before-mentioned of Balnibarbi and Japan, he observed that 
every Man desired to put off Death for sometime longer, let it approach 
ever so late, and he rarely heard of any Man who died willingly, except he 
were incited by the Extremity of Grief or Torture. And he appealed to me 
whether in those Countries I had travelled as well as my own, I had not 
observed the same general Disposition. 

After this Preface he gave me a particular Account of the Struldbruggs 
among them. He said they commonly acted like Mortals, till about thirty 
Years old, after which by degrees they grew melancholy and dejected, 
encreasing in both till they came to four-score. This he learned from their 
own Confession; for otherwise there not being above two or three of that 
Species born in an Age, they were too few to form a general Observation 
by. When they came to four-score Years, which is reckoned the Extremity 
of living in this Country, they had not only all the Follies and Infirmities of 
other old Men, but many more which arose from the dreadful Prospect of 
never dying. They were not only Opinionative, Peevish, Covetous, Morose, 
Vain, Talkative, but uncapable of Friendship, and dead to all natural 
Affection, which never descended below their Grand-children. Envy and 
impotent Desires are their prevailing Passions. But those Objects against 
which their Envy principally directed, are the Vices of the younger sort, 
and the Deaths of the old. By reflecting on the former, they find 
themselves cut off from all possibility of Pleasure; and whenever they see a 
Funeral, they lament and repine that others have gone to a Harbour of Rest, 
to which they themselves never can hope to arrive. They have no 
Remembrance of anything but what they learned and observed in their 
Youth and middle Age, and even that is very imperfect. And for the Truth 
or Particulars of any Fact, it is safer to depend on common Traditions than 
upon their best Recollections. The least miserable among them appear to be 
those who turn to Dotage, and entirely lose their Memories; these meet 
with more Pity and Assistance, because they want many bad Qualities 
which abound in others. 

If a Struldbrugg happen to marry one of his own kind, the Marriage is 
dissolved of course by the Courtesy of the Kingdom, as soon as the 
younger of the two come to be four-score. For the Law thinks it a 
reasonable Indulgence, that those who are condemned without any Fault of 
their own to a perpetual Continuance in the World, should not have their 
Misery doubled by the Load of a Wife. 

As soon as they have compleated the Term of eighty Years, they are look'd 
on as dead in Law; their Heirs immediately succeed to their Estates, only a 
small Pittance is reserved for their Support, and the poor ones are 
maintained at the publick Charge. After that Period they are held incapable 
of any Employment of Trust or Profit, they cannot purchase Lands or take 
Leases, neither are they allowed to be Witnesses in any Cause, either Civil 
or Criminal, not even for the Decision of Meers and Bounds. 

At Ninety they lose their Teeth and Hair, they have at that age no 
Distinction of Taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get, without 
Relish or Appetite. The Diseases they were subject to still continuing 
without encreasing or diminishing. In talking they forgot the common 
Appellation of Things, and the Names of Persons, even of those who are 
their nearest Friends and Relations. For the same Reason they never can 
amuse themselves with reading, because their Memory will not serve to 
carry them from the beginning of a Sentence to the end; and by this Defect 
they are deprived of the only entertainment whereof they might otherwise 
be capable. 

The Language of this Country being always upon the Flux, the 
Struldbruggs of one Age do not understand those of another, neither are 
they able after two hundred Years to hold any Conversation (farther than 
by a few general Words) with their Neighbours the Mortals; and thus they 
lye under the Disadvantage of living like Foreigners in their own Country. 

This was the Account given me of the Struldbruggs, as near as I can 
remember. I afterwards saw five or six of different Ages, the youngest not 
above two hundred Years old, who were brought me at several Times by 
some of my Friends; but although they were told that I was a great 
Traveller, and had seen all the World, they had not the least Curiosity to 
ask me a Question; only desired I would give them Slumskudask, or a 
Token of Remembrance, which is a modest way of begging, to avoid the 
Law that strictly forbids it, because they are provided for by the Publick, 
although indeed with a very scanty Allowance. 

They are despised and hated by all sort of People; when one of them is 
born, it is reckoned ominous, and their Birth is recorded very particularly; 
so that you may know their Age by consulting the Registry, which however 
hath not been kept above a thousand Years past, or at least hath been 
destroyed by Time or publick Disturbances. But the usual way of 
computing how old they are is by asking them what Kings or great Persons 
they can remember, and then consulting History, for infallibly the last 
Prince, in their Mind, did not begin his Reign after they were four-score 
Years old. 

They were the most mortifying Sight I ever beheld, and the Women more 
horrible than the Men. Besides the usual Deformities in extreme old age, 
they acquired an additional Ghastliness in Proportion to their Number of 
Years, which is not to be described, and among half a Dozen I soon 
distinguished which was the eldest, although there were not above a 
Century or two between them. 

The Reader will easily believe, that from what I had heard and seen, my 
keen Appetite for Perpetuity of Life was much abated. I grew heartily 
ashamed of the pleasing Visions I had formed, and thought no Tyrant could 
invent a Death into which I would not run with Pleasure from such a Life. 
The King heard of all that had passed between me and my Friends upon 
this Occasion, and rallied me very pleasantly, wishing I would send a 
couple of Struldbruggs to my own Country, to arm our People against the 
Fear of Death; but this it seems is forbidden by the fundamental Laws of 
the Kingdom, or else I should have been well content with the Trouble and 
Expense of transporting them. 

I could not but agree that the Laws of this Kingdom relating to the 
Struldbruggs, were founded upon the strongest Reasons, and such as any 
other Country would be under the Necessity of enacting in the like 
Circumstances. Otherwise, as Avarice is the necessary Consequent of old 
Age, those Immortals would in Time become Proprietors of the whole 
Nation, and engross the Civil Power, which, for want of Abilities to 
manage, must End in the Ruin of the Publick. 

CHAPTER XI.

The Author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan. From thence he returns in 
a Dutch Ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England. 

I THOUGHT THIS Account of the Struldbruggs might be some 
Entertainment to the Reader, because it seems to be a little out of the 
common Way, at least, I do not remember to have met the like in any Book 
of Travels that has come to my Hands: And if I am deceived, my Excuse 
must be, that it is necessary for Travellers, who describe the same Country, 
very often to agree in dwelling on the same Particulars, without deserving 
the Censure of having borrowed or transcribed from those who wrote 
before them. 

There is indeed a perpetual Commerce between this Kingdom and the great 
Empire of Japan, and it is very probable that the JapaneseAuthors may 
have given some Account of the Struldbruggs; but my Stay in Japan was so 
short, and I was so entirely a Stranger to that Language, that I was not 
qualified to make any Enquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this Notice 
will be curious and able enough to supply my Defects. 

His Majesty having often pressed me to accept some Employment in his 
Court, and finding me absolutely determined to return to my Native 
Country, was pleased to give me his Licence to depart, and honoured me 
with a Letter of Recommendation under his own Hand to the Emperor of 
Japan. He likewise presented me with four hundred and forty four large 
Pieces of Gold (this Nation delighting in even Numbers) and a red 
Diamond, which I sold in England for eleven hundred Pounds. 

On the sixth Day of May, 1709, I took a solemn Leave of his Majesty, and 
all my Friends. This Prince was so gracious, as to order a Guard to 
conduct me Glanguenstald, which is a Royal Port to the South-West Part of 
the Island. In six Days I found a Vessel ready to carry me to Japan, and 
spent fifteen Days in the Voyage. We landed at a small Port-Town called 
Xamoschi, situated on the South-East Part of Japan; the Town lies on the 
Western Point, where there is a narrow streight, leading Northward into a 
long Arm of the Sea, upon the North-West Part of which Yedo, the 
Metropolis stands. At Landing, I shewed the Custom-house Officers my 
Letter from the King of Luggnagg to his Imperial Majesty. They knew the 
Seal perfectly well; it was as broad as the Palm of my Hand. The 
Impression was, A King lifting up a Lame Beggar from the Earth. The 
Magistrates of the Town hearing of my Letter, received me as a Publick 
Minister; they provided me with Carriages and Servants, and bore my 
Charges to Yedo, where I was admitted to an Audience, and delivered my 
Letter, which was opened with great Ceremony, and explained to the 
Emperor by an Interpreter, who then gave me Notice by his Majesty's 
Order, that I should signify my Request, and, whatever it were, it should 
be granted for the sake of his Royal Brother of Luggnagg. This Interpreter 
was a Person employed to transact Affairs with the Hollanders; he soon 
conjectured by my Countenance that I was a European, and therefore 
repeated his Majesty's Commands in Low-Dutch, which he spoke perfectly 
well. I answered, (as I had before determined,) that I was a Dutch 
Merchant, shipwrecked in a very remote Country, from whence I travelled 
by Sea and Land to Luggnagg, and then took Shipping for Japan, where I 
knew my Countrymen often traded, and with some of these I hoped to get 
an Opportunity of returning into Europe: I therefore most humbly 
entreated his Royal Favour, to give Order, that I should be conducted in 
Safety to Nangasac. To this I added another Petition, that for the sake of 
my Patron the King of Luggnagg, his Majesty would condescend to excuse 
my performing the Ceremony imposed on my Countrymen of trampling 
upon the Crucifix, because I had been thrown into his Kingdom by my 
Misfortunes, without any Intention of Trading. When this latter Petition 
was interpreted to the Emperor, he seemed a little surprized, and said, he 
believed I was the first of my Countrymen who ever made any Scruple in 
this Point, and that he began to doubt whether I was a real Hollander, or 
no, but rather suspected I must be a CHRISTIAN. However, for the 
Reasons I had offered, but chiefly to gratify the King of Luggnagg, by an 
uncommon Mark of his Favour, he would comply with the Singularity of 
my Humour; but the Affair must be managed with Dexterity, and his 
Officers should be commanded to let me pass, as it were, by Forgetfulness. 
For he assured me, that if the Secret should be discovered by my 
Countrymen, the Dutch, they would cut my Throat in the Voyage. I 
returned my Thanks by the Interpreter, for so unusual a Favour, and some 
Troops being at that Time on their March to Nangasac, the Commanding 
Officer had Orders to convey me safe thither, with particular Instructions 
about the Business of the Crucifix. 

On the 9th Day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very long and 
troublesome Journey. I soon fell into the Company of some Dutch Sailors 
belonging to the Amboyna of Amsterdam, a stout Ship of 450 Tons. I had 
lived long in Holland, pursuing my studies at Leyden, and I spoke Dutch 
well. The Seamen soon knew from whence I came last: they were curious 
to enquire into my Voyages and Course of Life. I made up a Story as short 
and probable as I could, but concealed the greatest Part. I knew many 
Persons in Holland; I was able to invent Names for my Parents, whom I 
pretended to be obscure People in the Province of Gelderland. I would 
have given the Captain (one Theodorus Vangrult) what he pleased to ask 
for my Voyage to Holland; but understanding I was a Surgeon, he was 
contented to take half the usual Rate, on Condition that I would serve him 
in the way of my Calling. Before we took Shipping, I was often asked by 
some of the Crew, whether I had performed the Ceremony above-
mentioned: I evaded the Question by general Answers, that I had satisfied 
the Emperor and Court in all Particulars. However, a malicious Rogue of a 
Skipper went to an Officer, and pointing to me, told him I had not yet 
trampled on the Crucifix: But the other, who had received Instructions to 
let me pass, gave the Rascal twenty Strokes on the Shoulders with a 
Bamboo, after which I was no more troubled with such Questions. 

Nothing happened worth mentioning in this Voyage. We sailed with a fair 
Wind to the Cape of Good Hope, where we stayed only to take in fresh 
Water. On the 16th of April we arrived safe at Amsterdam, having lost 
only three Men by Sickness in the Voyage, and a fourth who fell from the 
Fore-mast into the Sea, not far from the Coast of Guinea. From 
Amsterdam I soon after set sail for England, in a small Vessel belonging to 
that City. 

On the 10th of April, 1710, we put in at the Downs. I landed the next 
Morning, and saw once more my native Country, after an Absence of five 
Years and six Months compleat. I went strait to Redriff, where I arrived 
the same Day at Two in the Afternoon, and found my Wife and Family in 
good Health. 

THE END OF THE THIRD PART. 

PART IV.   A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS.

                           [Plate 4: Houyhnhnms Land]

CHAPTER I. 

The Author sets out as a Captain of a Ship. His Men conspire against him, 
confine him a long time to his Cabbin, set him on shore in an unknown 
Land. He Travels up in the Country. The Yahoos a strange Sort of Animal 
described. The Author meets two Houyhnhnms. 

I CONTINUED at home with my Wife and Children about five Months in 
a very happy Condition, if I could have learned the Lesson of knowing 
when I was well. I left my poor Wife big with Child, and accepted an 
advantagious Offer made me to be Captain of the Adventure, a stout 
Merchant-Man of 350 Tuns: For I understood Navigation well, and being 
grown weary of a Surgeon's Employment at Sea, which however I could 
exercise upon occasion, I took a skillful young Man of that Calling, one 
Robert Purefoy, into my Ship. We set sail from Portsmouth upon the 
second Day of August, 1710; on the Fourteenth, we met with Captain 
Pocock of Bristol, at Tenariff, who was going to the Bay of Campechy, to 
cut Logwood. On the Sixteenth, he was parted from us by a Storm; I heard 
since my Return that his Ship foundered, and none escaped but one Cabbin-
Boy. He was an honest Man, and a good Sailor, but a little too positive in 
his own Opinions, which was the Cause of his Destruction, as it has been of 
several others. For if he had followed my Advice, he might have been safe 
at home with his Family at this Time, as well as myself. 

I had several Men die in my Ship of Calentures, so that I was forced to get 
Recruits out of Barbadoes, and the Leeward Islands, where I touched by 
the Direction of the Merchants who employed me, which I had soon too 
much Cause to repent; for I found afterwards that most of them had been 
Buccaneers. I had Fifty Hands on board, and my Orders were, that I should 
trade with the Indians, in the South-Sea, and make what Discoveries I 
could. These Rogues whom I had picked up debauched my other Men, and 
they all formed a Conspiracy to seize the Ship and secure me; which they 
did one Morning, rushing into my Cabbin, and binding me Hand and Foot, 
threatening to throw me over-board, if I offered to stir. I told them, I was 
their Prisoner, and would submit. This they made me swear to do, and then 
they unbound me, only fastening one of my Legs with a Chain near my 
Bed, and placed a Centry at my Door, with his Piece charged, who was 
commanded to shoot me dead, if I attempted my Liberty. They sent me 
down Victuals and Drink, and took the Government of the Ship to 
themselves. Their Design was to turn Pyrates, and plunder the Spaniards, 
which they could not do, till they got more Men. But first they resolved to 
sell the Goods in the Ship, and then go to Madagascar for Recruits, several 
among them having died since my Confinement. They sailed many Weeks, 
and traded with the Indians, but I knew not what Course they took, being 
kept a close Prisoner in my Cabbin, and expecting nothing less than to be 
murdered, as they often threatened me. 

Upon the Ninth Day of May 1711, one James Welch came down to my 
Cabbin; and said he had Orders from the Captain to set me a-shore. I 
expostulated with him, but in vain; neither would he so much as tell me 
who their new Captain was. They forced me into the Long-boat, letting me 
put on my best Suit of Cloaths, which were as good as New, and a small 
bundle of Linnen, but no Arms except my Hanger; and they were so civil 
as not to search my Pockets, into which I conveyed what Money I had, with 
some other little Necessaries. They rowed about a League, and then set me 
down on a Strand. I desired them to tell me what Country it was. They all 
swore they knew no more than myself, but said, that the Captain (as they 
called him) was resolved, after they had sold the Lading, to get rid of me 
in the first Place where they could discover Land. They pushed off 
immediately, advising me to make haste, for Fear of being overtaken by 
the Tide, and so bade me Farewell. 

In this desolate Condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon Ground, 
where I sate down on a Bank to rest my self, and consider what I had best 
do. When I was a little refreshed I went up into the Country, resolving to 
deliver my self to the first Savages I should meet, and purchase my Life 
from them by some Bracelets, Glass-rings, and other Toys, which Sailors 
usually provide themselves with in those Voyages, and whereof I had some 
about me: The Land was divided by long Rows of Trees, not regularly 
planted, but naturally growing; there was plenty of Grass, and several 
Fields of Oats. I walked very circumspectly for Fear of being surprized, or 
suddenly shot with an Arrow from behind or on either side. I fell into a 
beaten Road, where I saw many Tracks of human Feet, and some of Cows, 
but most of Horses. At last I beheld several Animals in a Field, and one or 
two of the same kind sitting in Trees. Their Shape was very singular and 
deformed, which a little discomposed me, so that I lay down behind a 
Thicket to observe them better. Some of them coming forward near the 
Place where I lay, gave me an Opportunity of distinctly marking their 
Form. Their Heads and Breasts were covered with a thick Hair, some 
frizzled and others lank; they had Beards like Goats, and a long ridge of 
Hair down their Backs and the fore-parts of their Legs and Feet, but the 
rest of their Bodies were bare, so that I might see their Skins, which were 
of a brown buff Colour. They had no Tails, nor any Hair at all on their 
Buttocks, except about the Anus; which, I presume, Nature had placed 
there to defend them as they sate on the Ground; for this Posture they used, 
as well as lying down, and often stood on their hind Feet. They climbed 
high Trees, as nimbly as a Squirrel, for they had strong extended Claws 
before and behind, terminating in sharp points, and hooked. They would 
often spring, and bound, and leap with prodigious Agility. The Females 
were not so large as the Males, they had long lank Hair on their Heads, but 
none on their Faces, nor any thing more than a sort of Down on the rest of 
their Bodies, except about the Anus, and Pudenda. Their Dugs hung 
between their Fore-feet, and often reached almost to the Ground as they 
walked. The Hair of both Sexes was of several Colours, brown, red, black 
and yellow. Upon the whole, I never beheld in all my Travels so 
disagreeable an Animal, nor one against which I naturally conceived so 
strong an Antipathy. So that thinking I had seen enough, full of Contempt 
and Aversion, I got up and pursued the beaten Road, hoping it might direct 
me to the Cabbin of some Indian. I had not got far when I met one of these 
Creatures full in my way, and coming up directly to me. The ugly 
Monster, when he saw me, distorted several ways every Feature of his 
Visage, and stared as at an Object he had never seen before; then 
approaching nearer, lifted up his Fore-paw, whether out of Curiosity or 
Mischief, I could not tell. But I drew my Hanger, and gave him a good 
Blow with the flat Side of it, for I durst not strike him with the Edge, 
fearing the Inhabitants might be provoked against me, if they should come 
to know, that I had killed or maimed any of their Cattle. When the Beast 
felt the smart, he drew back, and roared so loud, that a Herd of at least 
forty came flocking about me from the next Field, houling and making 
odious Faces; but I ran to the Body of a Tree, and leaning my Back against 
it, kept them off, by waving my Hanger. Several of this cursed Brood 
getting hold of the Branches behind, leaped up in the Tree, from whence 
they began to discharge their Excrements on my Head: However, I escaped 
pretty well, by sticking close to the Stem of the Tree, but was almost stifled 
with the Filth, which fell about me on every side. 

In the midst of this Distress, I observed them all to run away on a sudden 
as fast as they could, at which I ventured to leave the Tree, and pursue the 
Road, wondring what it was that could put them into this Fright. But 
looking on my Left-hand, I saw a Horse walking softly in the Field: which 
my Persecutors having sooner discovered, was the Cause of their Flight. 
The Horse started a little when he came near me, but soon recovering 
himself, looked full in my Face with manifest Tokens of Wonder: He 
viewed my Hands and Feet, walking round me several times. I would have 
pursued my Journey, but he placed himself directly in the way, yet looking 
with a very mild Aspect, never offering the least Violence. We stood 
gazing at each other for some time; at last I took the Boldness, to reach my 
Hand towards his Neck, with a Design to stroak it using the common Style 
and Whistle of Jockies when they are going to handle a strange Horse. But 
this Animal seeming to receive my Civilities with Disdain, shook his Head, 
and bent his Brows, softly raising up his right Fore-foot to remove my 
Hand. Then he neighed three or four times, but in so different a Cadence, 
that I almost began to think he was speaking to himself in some Language 
of his own. 

While he and I were thus employed, another Horse came up; who applying 
himself to the first in a very formal Manner, they gently struck each 
other's right Hoof before, neighing several times by turns, and varying the 
Sound, which seemed to be almost articulate. They went some Paces off, as 
if it were to confer together, walking Side by Side, backward and forward, 
like Persons deliberating upon some Affair of Weight, but often turning 
their Eyes towards me, as it were to watch that I might not escape. I was 
amazed to see such Actions and Behaviours in brute Beasts, and concluded 
with myself, that if the Inhabitants of this Country were endued with a 
proportionable Degree of Reason, they must needs be the wisest People 
upon Earth. This Thought gave me so much Comfort, that I resolved to go 
forward until I could discover some House or Village, or meet with any of 
the Natives, leaving the two Horses to discourse together as they pleased. 
But the first, who was a Dapple-Gray, observing me to steal off, neighed 
after me in so expressive a Tone, that I fancied myself to understand what 
he meant; whereupon I turned back, and came near him, to expect his 
farther Commands. But concealing my Fear as much as I could, for I began 
to be in some Pain, how this Adventure might terminate; and the Reader 
will easily believe I did not much like my present Situation. 

The two Horses came up close to me, looking with great Earnestness upon 
my Face and Hands. The gray Steed rubbed my Hat all round with his right 
Fore-hoof, and discomposed it so much, that I was forced to adjust it 
better, by taking it off, and settling it again; whereat both he and his 
Companion (who was a brown bay) appeared to be much surprized, the 
latter felt the Lappet of my Coat, and finding it to hang loose about me, 
they both looked with new Signs of Wonder. He stroked my Right-hand, 
seeming to admire the Softness, and Colour; but he squeezed it so hard 
between his Hoof and his Pastern, that I was forced to roar; after which 
they both touched me with all possible Tenderness. They were under great 
Perplexity about my Shoes and Stockings, which they felt very often, 
neighing to each other, and using various Gestures, not unlike those of a 
Philosopher, when he would attempt to solve some new and difficult 
Ph<EFBFBD>nomenon. 

Upon the whole, the Behaviour of these Animals was so orderly and 
rational, so acute and judicious, that I at last concluded, they must needs be 
Magicians, who had thus metamorphosed themselves upon some design, and 
seeing a Stranger in the way, were resolved to divert themselves with him; 
or perhaps were really amazed at the sight of a Man so very different in 
Habit, Feature, and Complection from those who might probably live so 
remote a Climate. Upon the Strength of this Reasoning, I ventured to 
address them in the following Manner: Gentlemen, if you be Conjurers, as 
I have good Cause to believe, you can understand any Language; therefore 
I make bold to let your Worships know that I am a poor distressed English 
Man, driven by his Misfortunes upon your Coast, and I entreat one of you, 
to let me ride upon his Back, as if he were a real Horse, to some House or 
Village, where I can be relieved. In return of which Favour, I will make 
you a Present of this Knife and Bracelet (taking them out of my Pocket). 
The two Creatures stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with great 
Attention; and when I had ended, they neighed frequently towards each 
other, as if they were engaged in serious Conversation. I plainly observed, 
that their Language expressed the Passions very well, and their Words 
might with little Pains be resolved into an Alphabet more easily than the 
Chinese. 

I could frequently distinguish the Word Yahoo, which was repeated by 
each of them several times; and altho' it was impossible for me to 
conjecture what it meant; yet while the two Horses were busy in 
Conversation, I endeavoured to practice this Word upon my Tongue; and 
as soon as they were silent, I boldly pronounced Yahoo in a loud Voice, 
imitating, at the same time, as near as I could, the Neighing of a Horse; at 
which they were both visibly surprized, and the Gray repeated the same 
Word twice, as if he meant to teach me the right Accent, wherein I spoke 
after him as well as I could, and found myself perceivably to improve 
every time, though very far from any Degree of Perfection. Then the Bay 
tried me with a second Word, much harder to be pronounced; but reducing 
it to the English Orthography, may be spelt thus, Houyhnhnm. I did not 
succeed in this so well as the former, but after two or three farther Trials, 
I had better Fortune; and they both appeared amazed at my Capacity. 

After some further Discourse; which I then conjectured might relate to me, 
the two Friends took their Leaves, with the same Compliment of striking 
each other's Hoof; and the Gray made me Signs that I should walk before 
him, wherein I thought it prudent to comply, till I could find a better 
Director. When I offered to slacken my Pace, he would cry Hhuun, Hhuun; 
I guessed his Meaning, and gave him to understand as well as I could, that I 
was weary, and not able to walk faster; upon which he would stand a while 
to let me rest. 

CHAPTER II.

The Author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his House. The House described. 
The Author's Reception. The Food of the Houyhnhnms. The Author in 
Distress for Want of Meat, is at last relieved. His Manner of feeding in this 
Country. 

HAVING traveled about three Miles, we came to a long kind of Building, 
made of Timber, stuck in the Ground, and wattled a-cross; the Roof was 
low, and covered with Straw. I now began to be a little comforted, and 
took out some Toys, which Travellers usually carry for Presents to the 
Savage Indians of America and other Parts, in hopes the People of the 
House would be thereby encouraged to receive me kindly. The Horse made 
me a Sign to go in first; it was a large Room with a smooth Clay Floor, and 
a Rack and Manger extending the whole Length on one side. There were 
three Nags, and two Mares, not eating, but some of them sitting down upon 
their Hams, which I very much wondered at; but wondered more to see the 
rest employed in domestick Business. These seemed but ordinary Cattle, 
however this confirmed my first Opinion, that a People who could so far 
civilize brute Animals, must needs excel in Wisdom all the Nations of the 
World. The Gray came in just after, and thereby prevented any ill 
Treatment, which the others might have given me. He neighed to them 
several times in a style of Authority, and received Answers. 

Beyond this Room there were three others, reaching the Length of the 
House, to which you passed through three Doors, opposite to each other, in 
the manner of a Vista; we went through the second Room towards the 
third, here the Gray walked in first, beckoning me to attend: I waited in the 
second Room, and got ready my Presents, for the Master and Mistress of 
the House: They were two Knives, three Bracelets of false Pearl, a small 
Looking-glass and a Bead Necklace. The Horse neighed three or four 
times, and I waited to hear some Answers in a human Voice, but I heard no 
other Returns, than in the same Dialect, only one or two a little shriller 
than his. I began to think that this House must belong to some Person of 
great Note among them, because there appeared so much Ceremony before 
I could gain Admittance. But, that a Man of Quality should be served all by 
Horses, was beyond my Comprehension. I feared my Brain was disturbed 
by my Sufferings and Misfortunes: I roused my self, and looked about me 
in the Room where I was left alone; this was furnished like the first, only 
after a more elegant Manner. I rubbed my Eyes often, but the same Objects 
still occurred. I pinched my Arms and Sides to awake myself, hoping I 
might be in a Dream. I then absolutely concluded, that all these 
Appearances could be nothing else but Necromancy and Magick. But I had 
no time to pursue these Reflections; for the Gray Horse came to the Door, 
and made me a Sign to follow him into the third Room, where I saw a very 
comely Mare, together with a Colt and Fole, sitting on their Haunches, 
upon Matts of Straw, not unartfully made, and perfectly neat and clean. 

The Mare soon after my Entrance, rose from her Matt, and coming up 
close, after having nicely observed my Hands and Face, gave me a most 
contemptuous Look; then turning to the Horse, I heard the Word Yahoo 
often repeated betwixt them; the Meaning of which Word I could not then 
comprehend, although it were the first I had learned to pronounce; but I 
was soon better informed, to my everlasting Mortification: For the Horse 
beckoning to me with his Head, and repeating the Word Hhuun, Hhuun, as 
he did upon the Road, which I understood was to attend him, led me out 
into a kind of Court, where was another Building at some Distance from 
the House. Here we enter'd, and I saw three of these detestable Creatures, 
whom I first met after my Landing, feeding upon Roots, and the Flesh of 
some Animals, which I afterwards found to be that of Asses and Dogs, and 
now and then a Cow dead by Accident or Disease. They were all tyed by 
the Neck with strong Wyths fastened to a Beam; they held their Food 
between the Claws of their Fore-feet, and tore it with their Teeth. 

The Master Horse ordered a Sorrel Nag, one of his Servants, to untie the 
largest of these Animals, and take him into the Yard. The Beast and I were 
brought close together; and our Countenances diligently compared, both by 
Master and Servant, who thereupon repeated several times the Word 
Yahoo. My Horror and Astonishment are not to be described, when I 
observed, in this abominable Animal, a perfect human Figure; the Face of 
it indeed was flat and broad, the Nose depressed, the Lips large, and the 
Mouth wide. But these Differences are common to all Savage Nations, 
where the Lineaments of the Countenance are distorted by the Natives 
suffering their Infants to lie groveling on the Earth, or by carrying them 
on their Backs, nuzzling with their Face against the Mother's Shoulders. 
The Fore- feet of the Yahoo differed from my Hands in nothing else, but 
the Length of the Nails, the Coarseness and Brownness of the Palms, and 
the Hairiness on the Backs. There was the same Resemblance between our 
Feet, with the same Differences, which I knew very well, tho' the Horses 
did not, because of my Shoes and Stockings; the same in every Part of our 
Bodies, except as to Hairiness and Colour, which I have already described. 

The great Difficulty that seemed to stick with the two Horses, was, to see 
the rest of my Body so very different from that of a Yahoo, for which I 
was obliged to my Cloaths whereof they had no Conception: The Sorrel 
Nag offered me a Root, which he held (after their Manner, as we shall 
describe in its proper Place) between his Hoof and Pastern; I took it in my 
Hand, and having smelt it, returned it to him again as civilly as I could. He 
brought out of the Yahoo's Kennel a Piece of Ass's Flesh, but it smelt so 
offensively that I turned from it with loathing; he then threw it to the 
Yahoo, by whom it was greedily devoured. He afterwards shewed me a 
Whisp of Hay, and a Fetlock full of Oats; but I shook my Head, to signify 
that neither of these were Food for me. And indeed, I now apprehended, 
that I must absolutely starve, if I did not get to some of my own Species: 
For as to those filthy Yahoos, although there were few greater Lovers of 
Mankind, at that time, than myself; yet I confess I never saw any sensitive 
Being so detestable on all Accounts; and the more I came near them, the 
more hateful they grew, while I stayed in that Country. This the Master 
Horse observed by my Behaviour, and therefore sent the Yahoo back to his 
Kennel. He then put his Fore- hoof to his Mouth, at which I was much 
surprized, although he did it with Ease, and with a Motion that appeared 
perfectly natural, and made other Signs to know what I would eat; but I 
could not return him such an Answer as he was able to apprehend; and if 
he had understood me, I did not see how it was possible to contrive any 
way for finding my self Nourishment. While we were thus engaged, I 
observed a Cow passing by, whereupon I pointed to her, and expressed a 
Desire to let me go and milk her. This had its Effect; for he led me back 
into the House, and ordered a Mare-Servant to open a Room, where a good 
store of Milk lay in Earthen and Wooden Vessels, after a very orderly and 
cleanly Manner. She gave me a large Bowl full, of which I drank very 
heartily, and found my self well refreshed. 

About Noon I saw coming towards the House a kind of Vehicle, drawn like 
a Sledge by Four Yahoos. There was in it an old Steed, who seemed to be 
of Quality, he alighted with his Hind-feet forward, having by Accident got 
a Hurt in his Left Fore-foot. He came to dine with our Horse, who received 
him with great Civility. They dined in the best Room, and had Oats boiled 
in Milk for the second Course, which the old Horse ate warm, but the rest 
cold. Their Mangers were placed circular in the middle of the Room, and 
divided into several Partitions, round which they sate on their Haunches 
upon Bosses of Straw. In the Middle was a large Rack with Angles 
answering to every Partition of the Manger. So that each Horse and Mare 
eat their own Hay, and their own Mash of Oats and Milk, with much 
Decency and Regularity. The Behaviour of the young Colt and Fole 
appeared very modest, and that of the Master and Mistress extremely 
cheerful and complaisant to their Guest. The Grey ordered me to stand by 
him, and much Discourse passed between him and his Friend concerning 
me, as I found by the Stranger's often looking on me, and the frequent 
Repetition of the Word Yahoo. 

I happened to wear my Gloves, which the Master-Gray observing, seemed 
perplexed, discovering Signs of Wonder what I had done to my Fore- feet; 
he put his Hoof three or four times to them, as if he would signify, that I 
should reduce them to their former Shape, which I presently did, pulling 
off both my Gloves, and putting them into my Pocket. This occasioned 
farther Talk, and I saw the Company was pleased with my Behaviour, 
whereof I soon found the good Effects. I was ordered to speak the few 
Words I understood, and while they were at Dinner, the Master taught me 
the Names for Oats, Milk, Fire, Water, and some others; which I could 
readily pronounce after him, having from my Youth a great Facility in 
learning Languages. 

When Dinner was done, the Master Horse took me aside, and by Signs and 
Words made me understand the Concern that he was in, that I had nothing 
to eat. Oats in their Tongue are called hlunnh. This Word I pronounced 
two or three times; for although I had refused them at first, yet upon 
second Thoughts I considered that I could contrive to make of them a kind 
of Bread, which might be sufficient with Milk to keep me alive, till I could 
make my Escape to some other Country, and to Creatures of my own 
Species. The Horse immediately ordered a White Mare-servant of his 
Family to bring me a good Quantity of Oats in a sort of Wooden Tray. 
These I heated before the Fire as well as I could, and rubbed them till the 
Husks came off, which I made a shift to winnow from the Grain; I ground 
and beat them between two Stones, then took Water, and made them into a 
Paste or Cake, which I toasted at the Fire, and eat warm with Milk. It was 
at first a very insipid Diet, though common enough in many Parts of 
Europe, but grew tolerable by Time; and having been often reduced to 
hard Fare in my Life, this was not the first Experiment I had made how 
easily Nature is satisfied. And I cannot but observe, that I never had one 
Hour's Sickness, while I staid in this Island. 'Tis true, I sometimes made a 
shift to catch a Rabbet, or Bird, by Springes made of Yahoos Hair, and I 
often gathered wholesome Herbs, which I boiled, or eat as Salades with my 
Bread, and now and then, for a Rarity, I made a little Butter, and drank the 
Whey. I was at first at a great loss for Salt; but Custom soon reconciled the 
Want of it; and I am confident that the frequent use of Salt among us is an 
Effect of Luxury, and was first introduced only as a Provocative to Drink; 
except where it is necessary for preserving of Flesh in long Voyages, or in 
Places remote from great Markets. For we observe no Animal to be fond 
of it but Man: And as to myself, when I left this Country, it was a great 
while before I could endure the Taste of it in anything that I eat. 

This is enough to say upon the Subject of my Dyet, wherewith other 
Travellers fill their Books, as if the Readers were personally concerned, 
whether we fared well or ill. However, it necessary to mention this Matter, 
lest the World should think it impossible that I could find Sustenance for 
three Years in such a Country, and among such Inhabitants. 

When it grew towards Evening, the Master Horse ordered a Place for me 
to lodge in: it was but Six Yards from the House, and separated from the 
Stable of the Yahoos. Here I got some Straw, and covering myself with my 
own Cloaths, slept very sound. But I was in a short time better 
accommodated, as the Reader shall know hereafter, when I come to treat 
more particularly about my way of living. 

CHAPTER III.

The Author studious to learn the Language, the Houyhnhnm, his Master 
assists in teaching him. The Language described. Several Houyhnhnms of 
Quality come out of Curiosity to see the Author. His gives his Master a 
short Account of his Voyage. 

MY PRINCIPAL Endeavour was to learn the Language, which my Master 
(for so I shall henceforth call him) and his Children, and every Servant of 
his House, were desirous to teach me. For they looked upon it as a Prodigy 
that a brute Animal should discover such Marks of a rational Creature. I 
pointed to every Thing and enquired the Name of it, which I wrote down 
in my Journal Book when I was alone, and corrected my bad Accent by 
desiring those of the Family to pronounce it often. In this Employment, a 
Sorrel Nag, one of the under Servants, was ready to assist me. 

In speaking, they pronounce through the Nose and Throat, and their 
Language approaches nearest to the High-Dutch or German, of any I know 
in Europe; but is much more graceful and significant. The Emperor 
Charles V. made almost the same Observation, when he said, That if he 
were to speak to his Horse, it should be in High Dutch. 

The Curiosity and Impatience of my Master were so great, that he spent 
many Hours of his Leisure to instruct me. He was convinced (as he 
afterwards told me) that I must be a Yahoo, but my Teachableness, 
Civility, and Cleanliness, astonished him; which were Qualities altogether 
so opposite to those Animals, he was most perplexed about my Cloaths, 
reasoning sometimes with himself whether they were a Part of my Body; 
for I never pulled them off till the Family were asleep, and got them on 
before they waked in the Morning. My Master was eager to learn from 
where I came, how I acquired those Appearances of Reason, which I 
discovered in all my Actions, and to know my Story from my own Mouth, 
which he hoped he should soon do by the great Proficiency I made in 
learning and pronouncing their Words and Sentences. To help my 
Memory, I formed all I learned into the English Alphabet, and wrote the 
Words down with the Translations. This last, after some time I ventured to 
do in my Master's Presence. It cost me much Trouble to explain to him 
what I was doing; for the Inhabitants have not the least idea of Books or 
Literature. 

In about Ten Weeks time I was able to understand most of his Questions, 
and in three Months could give him some tolerable Answers. He was 
extremely curious to know from what Part of the Country I came, and how 
I was taught to imitate a rational Creature; because the Yahoos (whom he 
saw I exactly resembled in my Head, Hands, and Face, that were only 
visible,) with some Appearance of Cunning, and the strongest Disposition 
to Mischief, were observed to be the most unteachable of all Brutes. I 
answered, That I came over the Sea from a far Place, with many others of 
my own Kind, in a great hollow Vessel made of the Bodies of Trees. That 
my Companions forced me to land on this Coast, and then left me to shift 
for myself. It was with some Difficulty, and by the help of many Signs, 
that I brought him to understand me. He replied, That I must needs be 
mistaken, or that I said the Thing which was not. For they have no Word in 
their Language to express Lying or Falsehood. He knew it was impossible 
that there could be a Country beyond the Sea, or that a parcel of Brutes 
could move a Wooden Vessel whither they pleased upon Water. He was 
sure no Houyhnhnm alive could make such a Vessel, nor would trust 
Yahoos to manage it. 

The Word Houyhnhnm, in their Tongue, signifies a Horse, and in its 
Etymology, the Perfection of Nature. I told my Master, that I was at a loss 
for Expression, but would improve as fast as I could; and hoped in a short 
time I should be able to tell him Wonders: He was pleased to direct his own 
Mare, his Colt and Fole, and the Servants of the Family to take all 
Opportunities of instructing me, and every Day for two or three Hours, he 
was at the same Pains himself: Several Horses and Mares of Quality in the 
Neighbourhood came often to our House upon the Report spread of a 
wonderful Yahoo, that could speak like a Houyhnhnm, and seemed in his 
Words and Actions to discover some Glimmerings of Reason. These 
delighted to converse with me; they put many Questions, and received such 
Answers, as I was able to return. By all these Advantages, I made so great 
a Progress, that in five Months from my arrival, I understood whatever 
was spoke, and could express myself tolerably well. 

The Houyhnhnms who came to visit my Master with the Design of seeing 
and talking with me, could hardly believe me to be a right Yahoo, because 
my Body had a different Covering from others of my Kind. They were 
astonished to observe me without the usual Hair or Skin, except on my 
Head, Face, and Hands; but I discovered that Secret to my Master, upon an 
Accident, which happened about a Fortnight before. 

I have already told the Reader, that every Night when the Family were 
gone to Bed it was my Custom, to strip and cover my self with my Cloaths: 
It happened one Morning early, that my Master sent for me, by the Sorrel 
Nag, who was his Valet; when he came, I was fast asleep, my Cloaths fallen 
off on one side, and my Shirt above my Waste. I awakened at the Noise he 
made, and observed him to deliver his Message in some Disorder; after 
which he went to my Master, and in a great Fright gave him a very 
confused Account of what he had seen: This I presently discovered; for 
going as soon as I was dressed, to pay my Attendance upon his Honour, he 
asked me the Meaning of what his Servant had reported, that I was not the 
same Thing when I slept as I appeared to be at other times; that his Valet 
assured him, some Part of me was White, some Yellow, at least not so 
White, and some Brown. 

I had hitherto concealed the Secret of my Dress, in order to distinguish 
myself as much as I could from that cursed Race of Yahoos; but now I 
found it in vain to do so any longer. Besides, I considered that my Cloaths 
and Shoes would soon wear out, which already were in a declining 
Condition, and must be supplied by some Contrivance from the Hides of 
Yahoos or other Brutes; whereby the whole Secret would be known. I 
therefore told my Master, That in the Country from whence I came, those 
of my kind always covered their Bodies with the Hairs of certain Animals 
prepared by Art, as well for Decency, as to avoid the Inclemencies of Air 
both Hot and Cold; of which, as to my own Person, I would give him 
immediate Conviction, if he pleased to command me; only desiring his 
Excuse, if I did not expose those Parts, that Nature taught us to conceal. He 
said my Discourse was all very strange, but especially the last Part; for he 
could not understand why Nature should teach us to conceal what Nature 
had given. That neither himself nor Family were ashamed of any Parts of 
their Bodies; but however I might do as I pleased. Whereupon, I first 
unbuttoned my Coat and pulled it off. I did the same with my Waste-coat; I 
drew off my Shoes, Stockings, and Breeches. I let my Shirt down to my 
Waste, and drew up the Bottom, fastening it like a girdle about my Middle 
to hide my Nakedness. 

My Master observed the whole Performance with great Signs of Curiosity 
and Admiration. He took up all my Cloaths in his Pastern, one Piece after 
another, and examined them diligently; he then stroakd my Body very 
gently, and looked round me several times, after which he said, it was plain 
I must be a perfect Yahoo; but that I differed very much from the rest of 
my Species, in the Softness and Whiteness and Smoothness of my Skin, my 
Want of Hair in several Parts of my Body, the Shape and Shortness of my 
Claws behind and before, and my affectation of walking continually on my 
two Hinder-feet. He desired to see no more, and gave me Leave to put on 
my Cloaths again, for I was shuddering with Cold. 

I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the Appellation of 
Yahoo, an odious Animal, for which I had so utter an Hatred and 
Contempt. I begged he would forbear applying that Word to me, and take 
the same Order in his Family, and among his Friends whom he suffered to 
see me. I requested likewise, that the Secret of my having a false Covering 
to my Body might be known to none but Himself, at least as long as my 
present Cloathing should last; for as to what the Sorrel Nag his Valet had 
observed, his Honour might command him to conceal it. 

All this my Master very graciously consented to, and thus the Secret was 
kept till my Cloaths began to wear out, which I was forced to supply by 
several Contrivances, that shall hereafter be mentioned. In the mean time, 
he desired I would go on with my utmost Diligence to learn their 
Language, because he was more astonished at my Capacity for Speech and 
Reason, than at the Figure of my Body, whether it were covered or no; 
adding that he waited with some Impatience to hear the Wonders which I 
promised to tell him. 

From thenceforward he doubled the Pains he had been at to instruct me; he 
brought me into all Company, and made them treat me with Civility, 
because, as he told them privately, this would put me into good Humour, 
and make me more diverting. 

Every Day when I waited on him, beside the Trouble he was at in teaching, 
he would ask me several Questions concerning myself, which I answered as 
well as I could; and by these Means he had already received some general 
Ideas, though very imperfect. It would be tedious to relate the several 
Steps, by which I advanced to a more regular Conversation: But the first 
Account I gave of myself in any Order and Length, was to this Purpose: 

That I came from a very far Country, as I already had attempted to tell 
him with about Fifty more of my own Species; that we travelled upon the 
Seas, in a great hollow Vessel made of Wood, and larger than his Honour's 
House. I described the Ship to him in the best Terms I could, and explained 
by the help of my Handkerchief displayed, how it was driven forward by 
the Wind. That upon a Quarrel among us, I was set on Shoar on this Coast, 
where I walked forward without knowing whither, till he delivered me 
from the Persecution of those execrable Yahoos. He asked me, Who made 
the Ship, and how it was possible that theHouyhnhnms of my Country 
would leave it to the Management of Brutes? My Answer was, That I durst 
proceed no further in my Relation, unless he would give me his Word and 
Honour that he would not be offended, and then I would tell him the 
Wonders I had so often promised. He agreed; and I went on by assuring 
him, that the Ship was made by Creatures like myself, who in all the 
Countries I had travelled, as well as in my own, were the only governing, 
rational Animals; and that upon my Arrival hither, I was as much 
astonished to see theHouyhnhnms act like rational beings, as he or his 
Friends could be finding some Marks of Reason in a Creature he was 
pleased to call a Yahoo, to which I owned my Resemblance in every Part, 
but could not account for their degenerate and brutal Nature. I said farther, 
That if good Fortune ever restored me to my native Country, to relate my 
Travels hither, as I resolved to do, every body would believe that I said the 
Thing which was not; that I invented the Story out of my own Head; and 
with all possible respect to Himself, his Family, and Friends, and under his 
Promise of not being offended, our Countrymen would hardly think it 
probable, that a Houyhnhnm should be the presiding Creature of a Nation, 
and a Yahoo the Brute. 

CHAPTER IV.

The Houyhnhnm notion of Truth and Falsehood. The Author's Discourse 
disapproved by his Master. The Author gives a more particular Account of 
himself, and the Accidents of his Voyage. 

MY MASTER heard me with great Appearances of Uneasiness in his 
Countenance, because Doubting, or not believing, are so little known in this 
Country, that the Inhabitants cannot tell how to behave themselves under 
such Circumstances. And I remember in frequent Discourses with my 
Master concerning the Nature of Manhood, in other Parts of the World, 
having occasion to talk of Lying, and false Representation, it was with 
much Difficulty that he comprehended what I meant, although he had 
otherwise a most acute Judgment. For he argued thus: That the Use of 
Speech was to make us understand one another, and to receive Information 
of Facts; now if anyone said the Thing which was not, these Ends were 
Defeated; because I cannot properly be said to understand him; and I am so 
far from receiving Information, that he leaves me worse than in Ignorance, 
for I am led to believe a Thing Black when it is White, and Short when it is 
Long. And these were all the Notions he had concerning that Faculty of 
Lying, so perfectly well understood among human Creatures. 

To return from this Digression; when I asserted that the Yahoos were the 
only governing Animals in my Country, which my Master said was 
altogether past his Conception, he desired to know whether we had 
Houyhnhnms among us, and what was their Employment: I told him we 
had great Numbers, that in Summer they grazed in the Fields, and in 
Winter were kept in Houses, with Hay and Oats, when Yahoo-Servants 
were employed to rub their Skins smooth, comb their Manes, pick their 
Feet, serve them with Food, and make their Beds. I understand you well, 
said my Master, it is now very plain, from all you have spoken, that 
whatever share of Reason the Yahoos pretend to, the Houyhnhnms are your 
Masters; I heartily wish our Yahoos would be so tractable. I begged his 
Honour would please to excuse me from proceeding any farther, because I 
was very certain that the Account he expected from me would be highly 
displeasing. But he insisted in commanding me to let him know the best and 
the worst: I told him, he should be obeyed. I owned, that 
theHouyhnhnmsamong us, whom we called Horses, were the most generous 
and comely Animal we had, that they excelled in Strength and Swiftness; 
and when they belonged to Persons of Quality, employed in Travelling, 
Racing, or drawing Chariots, they were treated with much Kindness and 
Care, till they fell into Diseases or became foundred in the Feet; and then 
they were sold, and used to all kind of Drudgery till they died; after which 
their Skins were stripped and sold for what they were worth, and their 
Bodies left to be devoured by Dogs and Birds of Prey. But the common 
Race of Horses had not so good Fortune, being kept by Farmers and 
Carriers and other mean People, who put them to greater Labor, and feed 
them worse. I described as well as I could, our way of Riding, the Shape 
and Use of a Bridle, a Saddle, a Spur, and a Whip, of Harness and Wheels. 
I added, that we fastned Plates of a certain hard Substance called Iron at the 
Bottom of their Feet, to preserve their Hoofs from being broken by the 
Stony Ways on which we often travelled. 

My Master, after some Expressions of great Indignation, wondered how we 
dared to venture upon a Houyhnhnm's Back, for he was sure, that the 
weakest Servant in his House would be able to shake off the strongest 
Yahoo, or by lying down, and rolling on his Back, squeeze the Brute to 
Death. I answered, That our Horses were trained up from three or four 
Years old to the several uses we intended them for; That if any of them 
proved intolerably vicious, they were employed for Carriages; that they 
were severely beaten while they were young, for any mischievous Tricks: 
That the Males, designed for common Use of Riding or Draught, were 
generally castrated about two Years after their Birth, to take down their 
Spirits, and make them more tame and gentle; that they were indeed 
sensible of Rewards and Punishments; but his Honour would please to 
consider, that they had not the least Tincture of Reason any more than the 
Yahoos in this Country. 

It put me to the pains of many Circumlocutions to give my Master a right 
Idea of what I spoke; for their Language doth not abound in variety of 
Words, because their Wants and Passions are fewer than among us. But it is 
impossible to repeat his noble Resentment at our savage Treatment of the 
Houyhnhnm Race, particularly after I had explained the Manner and use of 
castrating Horses among us, to hinder them from propagating their Kind, 
and to render them more servile. He said. if it were possible there could be 
any Country where Yahoos alone were endued with Reason, they certainly 
must be the governing Animal, because Reason will in time always prevail 
against Brutal Strength. But, considering the Frame of our Bodies, and 
especially of mine, he thought no Creature of equal Bulk was so ill 
contrived, for employing that Reason in the common Office of Life; 
whereupon he desired to know whether those among whom I lived, 
resembled me or the Yahoos of his Country. I assured him, that I was as 
well shaped as most of my Age; but the younger and the Females were 
much more soft and tender, and the Skins of the latter generally as White 
as Milk. He said, I differed indeed from other Yahoos, being much more 
cleanly, and not altogether so deformed, but in point of real Advantage, he 
thought I differed for the worse. That my Nails were of no Use either to 
my Fore or Hinder-Feet: As to my Fore-Feet he could not properly call 
them by that Name, for he never observed me to walk upon them; that they 
were too soft to bear the Ground; that I generally went with them 
uncovered, neither was the Covering I sometimes wore on them, of the 
same Shape, or so strong as that on my Feet behind. That I could not walk 
with any Security, for if either of my Hinder-Feet slipped, I must 
inevitably fall. He then began to find Fault with other Parts of my Body, 
the Flatness of my Face, the Prominence of my Nose, my Eyes placed 
directly in the Front, so that I could not look on either Side without turning 
my Head: That I was not able to feed myself, without lifting one of my 
Fore-Feet to my Mouth: And therefore Nature had placed those Joints to 
Answer that Necessity. He knew not what could be the Use of those several 
Clefts and Divisions in my Feet behind, that these were too soft to bear the 
Hardness and Sharpness of Stones without a Covering made from the Skin 
of some other Brute; that my whole Body wanted a Fence against Heat 
Cold, which I was forced to put on and off every Day with Tediousness and 
Trouble. And lastly, that he observed every Animal in this Country 
naturally to abhor the Yahoos, whom the Weaker avoided, and the 
Stronger drove from them. So that supposing us to have the Gift of Reason, 
he could not see how it were possible to cure that natural Antipathy which 
every Creature discovered against us; nor consequently, how we could 
tame and render them serviceable. However, he would (as he said) debate 
the Matter no farther, because he was more desirous to know my own 
Story, the Country where I was born, and the several Actions and Events 
of my Life before I came hither. 

I assured him how extremely desirous I was that he should be satisfied in 
every Point; but I doubted much, whether it would be possible for me to 
explain myself on several Subjects whereof his Honour could have no 
Conception, because I saw nothing in his Country to which I could 
resemble them. That however, I would do my best, and strive to express 
myself by Similitudes, humbly desiring his Assistance when I wanted 
proper Words; which he was pleased to promise me. 

I said, my Birth was of honest Parents in an Island called England, which 
was remote from this Country, as many Days' Journey as the strongest of 
his Honour's Servants could travel in the Annual Course of the Sun. That I 
was bred a Surgeon, whose trade it is to cure Wounds and Hurts in the 
Body, got by Accident or Violence; that my Country was governed by a 
Female Man, whom we called a Queen. That I left it to get Riches, whereby 
I might maintain myself and Family when I should return. That in my last 
Voyage I was Commander of the Ship, and had about fifty Yahoos under 
me, many of which died at Sea, and I was forced to supply them by others 
picked out from several Nations. That our Ship was twice in Danger of 
being sunk; the first time by a great Storm, and the second, by striking 
against a Rock. Here my Master interposed, by asking me, how I could 
persuade Strangers out of different Countries to venture with me, after the 
Losses I had sustained, and the Hazards I had run. I said, they were Fellows 
of desperate Fortunes forced to fly from the Places of their Birth, on 
account of their Poverty or their Crimes. Some were undone by lawsuits; 
others spent all they had in Drinking, Whoring, and Gaming; others fled 
for Treason; many for Murder, Theft, Poysoning, Robbery, Perjury, 
Forgery, Coining false Money, for committing Rapes or Sodomy, for 
flying from their Colours, or deserting to the Enemy, and most of them 
had broken Prison; none of these durst return to their Native Countries for 
Fear of being hanged, or of starving in a Jail; and therefore were under a 
Necessity of seeking a Livelihood in other Places. 

During this Discourse, my Master was pleased to interrupt me several 
Times; I had made use of many Circumlocutions in describing to him the 
Nature of the several Crimes, for which most of our Crew had been forced 
to fly their Country. This Labour took up several Days Conversation 
before he was able to comprehend me. He was wholly at a Loss to know 
what could be the Use or Necessity of practicing those Vices. To clear up 
which I endeavoured to give some Ideas of the Desire of Power and Riches, 
of the terrible Effects of Lust, Intemperance, Malice and Envy. All this I 
was forced to define and describe by putting of Cases, and making of 
Suppositions. After which, like one whose Imagination was struck with 
something never seen or heard of before, he would lift up his Eyes with 
Amazement and Indignation. Power, Government, War, Law, Punishment, 
and a Thousand other Things had no Terms wherein that Language could 
express them, which made the Difficulty almost insuperable to give my 
Master any Conception of what I meant. But being of an excellent 
Understanding, much improved by Contemplation and Converse, he at last 
arrived at a competent Knowledge of what Human Nature in our Parts of 
the World is capable to perform, and desired I would give him some 
particular Account of that Land, which we call Europe, but especially of 
my own Country. 

CHAPTER V.

The Author at his Master's Commands informs him of the State of 
England. The Causes of War among the Princes of Europe. The Author 
begins to explain the English Constitiution. 

THE READER may please to observe, that the following Extract of many 
Conversations I had with my Master, contains a Summary of the most 
material Points, which were discoursed at several times for above two 
Years; his Honour often desiring fuller Satisfaction as I farther improved 
in the Houyhnhnm Tongue. I laid before him, as well as I could, the whole 
State of Europe; I Discoursed of Trade and Manufactures, of Arts and 
Sciences; and the Answers I gave to all the Questions he made, as they 
arose upon several Subjects, were a Fund of Conversation not to be 
exhausted. But I shall here only set down the Substance of what passed 
between us concerning my own Country, reducing it into Order as well as I 
can, without any Regard to Time or other Circumstances, while I strictly 
adhere to Truth. My only Concern is, that I shall hardly be able to do 
Justice to my Master's Arguments and Expressions, which must needs 
suffer by my want of Capacity, as well as by a Translation into our 
barbarous English. 

In Obedience therefore to his Honour's Commands, I related to him the 
Revolution under the Prince of Orange; the long War with France entered 
into by the said Prince, and renewed by his Successor the present Queen; 
wherein the greatest Powers of Christendom were engaged, and which still 
continued: I computed at his Request, that about a Million of Yahoos might 
have been killed in the whole Progress of it, and perhaps a Hundred or 
more Cities taken, and thrice as many Ships burnt or sunk. 

He asked me what were the usual Causes or Motives that made one Country 
go to War with another. I answered they were innumerable, but I should 
only mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the Ambition of Princes, who 
never think they have Land or People enough to govern: Sometimes the 
Corruption of Ministers, who engage their Master in a War in order to 
stifle or divert the Clamour of the Subjects against their Evil 
Administration. Difference in Opinions hath cost many Millions of Lives: 
For instance, whether Flesh be Bread, or Bread be Flesh; whether the Juice 
of a certain Berry be Blood or Wine; whether Whistling be Vice or a 
Virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into the Fire; what is 
the best Colour for a Coat, whether Black, White, Red, or Gray; and 
whether it should be long or short, narrow or wide, dirty or clean; with 
many more. Neither are any Wars so furious and Bloody, or of so long 
Continuance, as those occasioned by Difference in Opinion, especially if it 
be in Things indifferent. 

Sometimes the Quarrel between two Princes is to which of them shall 
dispossess a third of his Dominions, where neither of them pretend to any 
Right. Sometimes one Prince quarreleth with another, for Fear the other 
should quarrel with him. Sometimes a War is entered upon, because the 
Enemy is too strong, and sometimes because he is too weak. Sometimes our 
Neighbours want the Things which we have, or have the Things which we 
want; and we both fight, till they take ours or give us theirs. It is a very 
justifiable Cause of War to invade a Country after the People have been 
wasted by Famine, destroyed by Pestilence, or embroiled by Factions 
among themselves. It is justifiable to enter into War against our nearest 
Ally, when one of his Towns lies convenient for us, or a Territory of 
Land, that would render our Dominions round and compleat. If a Prince 
sends Forces into a Nation where the People are poor and ignorant, he may 
lawfully put half of them to Death, and make Slaves of the rest, in order to 
civilize and reduce them from their barbarous Way of Living. It is a very 
kingly, honourable, and frequent Practice, when one Prince desires the 
Assistance of another to secure him against an Invasion, that the Assistant, 
when he hath driven out the Invader, should seize on the Dominions 
himself, and kill, imprison or banish the Prince he came to relieve. 
Alliance by Blood or Marriage, is a frequent Cause of War between 
Princes; and the nearer the Kindred is, the greater is their Disposition to 
quarrel: Poor Nations are hungry, and rich Nations are proud; and Pride 
and Hunger will ever be at variance. For those Reasons, the Trade of a 
Soldier is held the most honourable of all others: Because a Soldier is a 
Yahoo hired to kill in cold Blood as many of his own Species, who have 
never offended him, as possibly he can. 

There is likewise a Kind of beggarly Princes in Europe, not able to make 
War by themselves, who hire out their Troops to richer Nations, for so 
much a Day to each Man; of which they keep three fourths to themselves, 
and it is the best Part of their Maintenance; such are those in many 
Northern Parts of Europe. 

What you have told me, (said my Master) upon the Subject of War, does 
indeed discover most admirably the Effects of that Reason you pretend to: 
However, it is happy that the Shame is greater than the Danger; and that 
Nature has left you utterly uncapable of doing much Mischief. 

For your Mouths lying flat with your Faces, you can hardly bite each other 
to any Purpose, unless by Consent. Then as to the Claws upon your Feet 
before and behind, they are so short and tender that one of our Yahoos 
would drive a Dozen of yours before him. And therefore in recounting the 
Numbers of those who have been killed in Battle, I cannot but think that 
you have said the Thing which is not. 

I could not forbear shaking my Head and smiling a little at his Ignorance. 
And being no Stranger to the Art of War, I gave him a Description of 
Cannons, culverins, Muskets, Carabines, Pistols, Bullets, Powder, Swords, 
Bayonets, Battles, Sieges, Retreats, Attacks, Undermines, Countermines, 
Bombardments, Sea-fights; Ships sunk with a Thousand Men, Twenty 
thousand killed on each Side; dying Groans, Limbs flying in the Air, 
Smoak, Noise, Confusion, trampling to Death under Horses Feet; Flight, 
Pursuit, Victory; Fields strewed with Carcases left for Food to Dogs, and 
Wolves, and Birds of Prey; Plundering, Stripping, Ravishing, Burning, and 
Destroying. And to set forth the Valor of my own dear Countrymen, I 
assured him, that I had seen them blow up a Hundred Enemies at once in a 
Siege, and as many in a Ship, and beheld the dead Bodies come down in 
pieces from the Clouds, to the great Diversion of the Spectators. 

I was going on to more Particulars, when my Master commanded me 
Silence. He said, Whoever understood the Nature of Yahoos might easily 
believe it possible for so vile an Animal to be capable of every Action I had 
named, if their Strength and Cunning equalled their Malice. But as my 
Discourse had increased his Abhorrence of the whole Species, so he found 
it gave him a Disturbance in his Mind, to which he was wholly a Stranger 
before. He thought his Ears being used to such abominable Words, might 
by Degrees admit them with less Detestation. That although he hated the 
Yahoos of this Country, yet he no more blamed them for their odious 
Qualities, than he did a Gnnayh (a Bird of Prey) for its Cruelty, or a sharp 
Stone for cutting his Hoof. But when a Creature pretending to Reason, 
could be capable of such Enormities, he dreaded lest the Corruption of that 
Faculty might be worse than Brutality itself. He seemed therefore 
confident, that instead of Reason, we were only possessed of some Quality 
fitted to increase our natural Vices; as the Reflection from a troubled 
Stream returns the Image of an ill-shapen Body, not only larger, but more 
distorted. 

He added, That he had heard too much upon the Subject of War, both in 
this, and some former Discourses. There was another Point which a little 
perplexed him at Present. I had informed him, that some of our Crew left 
their Country on account of being ruined by Law; that I had already 
explained the Meaning of the Word; but he was at a Loss how it should 
come to pass, that the Law which was intended for every Man's 
Preservation, should be any Man's Ruin. Therefore he desired to be further 
satisfied what I meant by Law, and what sort of Dispensers thereof it could 
be by whose Practices the Property of any Person could be lost, instead of 
being preserved. He added, he saw not what great Occasion there could for 
this thing called Law, since all the Intentions and Purposes of it may be 
fully answered by following the Dictates of Nature and Reason, which are 
sufficient Guides for a Reasonable Animal, as we pretended to be, in 
shewing us what we ought to do, and what to avoid. 

I assured his Honour, that Law was a Science wherein I had not much 
conversed, further than by employing Advocates, in vain, upon some 
Injustices that had been done me: however, I would give him all the 
Satisfaction I was able. 

I said there was a Society of Men among us, bred up from their Youth in 
the Art of proving by Words multiplied for the Pleasure, that White is 
Black, and Black is White, according as they are paid. To this Society all 
the rest of the People are Slaves. 

For Example, if my Neighbour hath a Mind to my Cow, he hires a Lawyer 
to prove that he ought to have my Cow from me. I must then hire another 
to defend my Right, it being against all Rules of Law that any Man should 
be allowed to speak for himself. Now in this Case, I who am the right 
Owner lie under two great Disadvantages. First, my Lawyer being 
practiced almost from his Cradle in defending Falshood; is quite out of his 
Element when he would be an Advocate for Justice, which as an Office 
unnatural, he always attempts with great Awkwardness if not with Ill-will. 
The second Disadvantage is, that my Lawyer must proceed with great 
Caution: Or else he will be reprimanded by the Judges, and abhorred by his 
Brethren, as one that would lessen the Practice of the Law. And therefore I 
have but two Methods to preserve my Cow. The first is, to gain over my 
Adversary's Lawyer with a double Fee; who will then betray his Client by 
insinuating that he hath Justice on his Side. The second way is for my 
Lawyer to make my Cause appear as unjust as he can; by the Cow to belong 
to my Adversary; and this, if it be skilfully done, will certainly bespeak the 
Favour of the Bench. 

Now, your Honour is to know that these Judges are Persons appointed to 
decide all Controversies of Property, as well as for the Tryal of Criminals; 
and picked out from the most dextrous Lawyers who are grown old or 
lazy: And having been byassed all their Lives against Truth and Equity, are 
under such a fatal Necessity of favouring Fraud, Perjury, and Oppression; 
that I have known some of them refuse a large Bribe from the Side where 
Justice lay, rather than injure the Faculty, by doing any thing unbecoming 
their Nature or their Office. 

It is a Maxim among these Lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, 
may legally be done again: And therefore they take special Care to record 
all the Decisions formerly made against common Justice and the general 
Reason of Mankind. These, under the Name of Precedents, they produce as 
Authorities to justify the most iniquitous Opinions; and the Judges never 
fail of decreeing accordingly. 

In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the Merits of the Cause; but 
are loud, violent, and tedious in dwelling upon all Circumstances which are 
not to the Purpose. For Instance, in the Case already mentioned: They 
never desire to know what Claim or Title my Adversary hath to my Cow; 
but whether the said Cow were Red or Black; her Horns long or short; 
whether the Field I graze her in be round or square; whether she was 
milked at home or abroad; what Diseases she is subject to, and the like. 
After which they consult Precedents, adjourn the Cause from Time to 
Time, and in Ten, Twenty, or Thirty Years, come to an Issue. 

It is likewise to be observed, that this Society has a peculiar Cant and 
Jargon of their own, that no other Mortal can understand, and wherein all 
their Laws are written, which they take special Care to multiply; whereby 
they have gone near to confound the very Essence of Truth and Falsehood, 
of Right and Wrong; so that it may take Thirty Years to decide whether the 
Field, left me by my Ancestors for Six Generations, belongs to me, or to a 
Stranger three hundred Miles off. 

In the Tryal of Persons accused for Crimes against the State the Method is 
much more short and commendable: The Judge first sends to sound the 
Disposition of those in Power; after which he can easily hang or save the 
Criminal, strictly preserving all due Forms of Law. 

Here my Master interposing, said it was a Pity that Creatures endowed with 
such prodigious Abilities of Mind as these Lawyers, by the Description I 
gave of them, must certainly be, were not rather encouraged to be 
Instructors of others in Wisdom and Knowledge. In Answer to which, I 
assured his Honour, that in all Points out of their own Trade, they were 
usually the most Ignorant and stupid Generation among us, the most 
despicable in common Conversation, avowed Enemies to all Knowledge 
and Learning; and equally to pervert the general Reason of Mankind in 
every other Subject of Discourse, as in that of their own Profession. 

CHAPTER VI.

A Continuation of the State of England. The Character of a first  Minister.

MY MASTER was yet wholly at a Loss to understand what Motives could 
incite this Race of Lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary themselves, and 
engage in a Confederacy of Injustice, merely for the Sake of injuring their 
Fellow-Animals; neither could he comprehend what I meant in saying they 
did it for Hire. Whereupon I was at much Pains to describe to him the Use 
of Money, the Materials it was made of, and the Value of the Metals, that 
when a Yahoo had got a great Store of this precious Substance, he was able 
to purchase whatever he had a Mind to; the finest Cloathing, the noblest 
Houses, great Tracts of Land, the most costly Meats and Drinks, and have 
his choice of the most beautiful Females. Therefore since Money alone, was 
able to perform all these Feats, our Yahoos thought, they could never have 
enough of it to spend or save, as they found themselves inclined from their 
natural Bent either to Profusion or Avarice. That the Rich Man enjoyed the 
Fruit of the Poor Man's Labour, and the Latter were a thousand to one in 
Proportion to the Former. That the Bulk of our People were forced to live 
miserably, by labouring every Day for small Wages to make a few live 
plentifully. I enlarged myself much on these and many other Particulars to 
the same Purpose: But his Honour was still to seek: For he went upon a 
Supposition that all Animals had a Title to their share in the Productions of 
the Earth, and especially those who presided over the rest. Therefore he 
desired I would let him know, what these costly Meats were, and how any 
of us happened to want them. Whereupon I enumerated as many sorts as 
came into my Head, with the various Methods of dressing them, which 
could not be done without sending Vessels by Sea to every Part of the 
World, as well for Liquors to Drink, as for Sauces, and innumerable other 
Conveniences. I assured him, that this whole Globe of Earth must be at 
least three times gone round, before one of our better Female Yahoos 
could get her Breakfast or a Cup to put it in. He said, That must needs be a 
miserable Country which cannot furnish Food for its own Inhabitants. But 
what he chiefly wondered at was how such vast Tracts of Grounds as I 
described should be wholly without Fresh-water, and the People put to the 
Necessity of sending over the Sea for Drink. I replied, that England (the 
dear Place of my Nativity) was computed to produce three times the 
Quantity of Food, more than its Inhabitants are able to consume, as well as 
Liquors extracted from Grain, or pressed out of the Fruit of certain Trees, 
which made excellent Drink, and the same Proportion in every other 
Convenience of Life. But in order to feed the Luxury and Intemperance of 
the Males, and the Vanity of the Females, we sent away the greatest Part of 
our necessary Things to other Countries, from whence in return we 
brought the Materials of Diseases, Folly, and Vice, to spend among 
ourselves. Hence it follows of Necessity, that vast Numbers of our People 
are compelled to seek their Livelihood by Begging, Robbing, Stealing, 
Cheating, Pimping, Forswearing, Flattering, Suborning, Forging, Gaming, 
Lying, Fawning, Hectoring, Voting, Scribbling, Stargazing, Poysoning, 
Whoring, Canting, Libelling, Free-thinking, and the like Occupations: 
Every one of which Terms, I was at much Pains to make him understand.

That Wine was not imported among us from foreign Countries, to supply 
the want of Water or other Drinks, but because it was a sort of Liquid 
which made us merry, by putting us out of our Senses; diverted all 
melancholy Thoughts, begat wild extravagant Imaginations in the Brain, 
raised our Hopes, and banished our Fears, suspended every Office of 
Reason for a time, and deprived us of the use of our Limbs, till we fell into 
a profound Sleep; although it must be confessed, that we always awoke sick 
and dispirited, and that the use of this Liquor filled us with Diseases, which 
made our Lives uncomfortable and short.

But beside all this, the Bulk of our People supported themselves by 
furnishing the Necessities and Conveniences of Life to the Rich, and to each 
other. For Instance, when I am at home and dressed as I ought to be, I 
carry on my Body the Workmanship of an Hundred Tradesmen; the 
Building and Furniture of my House employ as many more, and five times 
the Number to adorn my Wife.

I was going on to tell him of another sort of People, who get their 
Livelihood by attending the Sick, having upon some Occasions informed 
his Honour that many of my Crew had died of Diseases. But here it was 
with the utmost Difficulty, that I brought him to apprehend what I meant. 
He could easily conceive, that a Houyhnhnm grew weak and heavy a few 
Days before his Death, or by some Accident might hurt a Limb. But that 
Nature, who works all Things to Perfection, should suffer any Pains to 
breed in our Bodies, he thought impossible, and desired to know the 
Reason of so unaccountable an Evil. I told him, we fed on a thousand 
Things which operated contrary to each other; that we ate when we were 
not hungry, and drank without the Provocation of Thirst; That we sate 
whole Nights drinking strong Liquors without eating a Bit, which disposed 
us to Sloth, inflamed our Bodies, and precipitated or prevented Digestion. 
That prostitute Female Yahoos acquired a certain Malady, which bred 
Rottenness in the Bones of those, who fell into their Embraces; That this 
and many other Diseases, were propagated from Father to Son, so that 
great Numbers come into the World with complicated Maladies upon them; 
that it would be endless to give him a Catalogue of all Diseases incident to 
human Bodies; for they could not be fewer than five or six hundred, spread 
over every Limb and Joynt; in short, every Part, external and intestine, 
having Diseases appropriated to them. To remedy which, there was a sort 
of People bred up among us, in the Profession or Pretense of curing the 
Sick. And because I had some Skill in the Faculty, I would in Gratitude to 
his Honour, let him know the whole Mystery and Method by which they 
proceed.

Their Fundamental is, That all Diseases arise from Repletion, from which 
they conclude, that a great Evacuation of the Body is necessary, either 
through the natural Passage, or upwards at the Mouth. Their next Business 
is, from Herbs, Minerals, Gums, Oils, Shells, Salts, Juices, Seaweed, 
Excrements, Barks of Trees, Serpents, Toads, Frogs, Spiders, dead Men's 
Flesh and Bones, Birds, Beasts and Fishes, to form a Composition for 
Smell and Taste the most abominable, nauseous and detestable, they can 
possibly contrive, which the Stomach immediately rejects with loathing; 
and this they call a Vomit; or else from the same Storehouse, with some 
other Poysonous Additions, they command us to take in at the Orifice 
above or below, (just as the Physician then happens to be disposed) a 
Medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the Bowels; which relaxing the 
Belly, drives down all before it, and this they call a Purge or a Glyster. 
For Nature (as the Physicians alledge) having intended the superior 
anterior Orifice only for the intromission of Solids and Liquids, and the 
inferior for Ejection, these Artists ingeniously considering that in all 
Diseases Nature is forced out of her Seat; therefore to replace her in it, the 
Body must be treated in a Manner directly contrary, by interchanging the 
Use of each Orifice, forcing Solids and Liquids in at the Anus, and making 
Evacuations at the Mouth.

But, besides real Diseases, we are subject to many that are only imaginary, 
for which the Physicians have invented imaginary Cures; these have their 
several Names, and so have the Drugs that are proper for them, and with 
these our Female Yahoos are always infested.

One great Excellency in this Tribe is their Skill at Prognostics, wherein 
they seldom fail; their Predictions in real Diseases, when they rise to any 
Degree of Malignity, generally portending Death, which is always in their 
Power when Recovery is not: And therefore, upon any unexpected Signs of 
Amendment, after they have pronounced their Sentence, rather than be 
accused as false Prophets, they know how to approve their Sagacity to the 
World by a seasonable Dose.

They are likewise of special Use to Husbands and Wives, who are grown 
weary of their Mates, to eldest Sons, to great Ministers of State, and often 
to Princes.

I had formerly upon Occasion discoursed with my Master upon the Nature 
of Government in general, and particularly of our own excellent 
Constitution, deservedly the Wonder and Envy of the whole World. But 
having here Accidentally mentioned a Minister of State; he commanded me 
some time after to inform him, what Species of Yahoo I particularly meant 
by that Application.

I told him, that a First or Chief Minister of State, whom I intended to 
describe, was a Creature wholly exempt from Joy and Grief, Love and 
Hatred, Pity and Anger; at least made use of no other Passions but a violent 
Desire of Wealth, Power, and Titles: That he applies his Words to all Uses, 
except to the Indication of his Mind; That he never tells a Truth, but with 
an Intent that you should take it for a Lye; nor a Lye, but with a Design 
that you should take it for a Truth; That those he speaks worst of behind 
their Backs, are in the surest way of Preferment; and whenever he begins 
to praise you to others or to your self, you are from that Day forlorn. The 
worst Mark you can receive is a Promise, especially when it is confirmed 
with an Oath; after which every wise Man retires, and gives over all Hopes.

There are three Methods by which a Man may rise to be Chief Minister: 
The first is by knowing how with Prudence to dispose of a Wife, a 
Daughter, or a Sister: The second, by betraying or undermining his 
Predecessor: And the third is, by a furious Zeal in publick Assemblies 
against the Corruptions of the Court. But a wise Prince would rather chuse 
to employ those who practice the last of these Methods; because such 
Zealots prove always the most obsequious and subservient to the Will and 
Passions of their Master. That, these Ministers having all Employments at 
their Disposal, preserve themselves in Power by bribing the Majority of a 
Senate or great Council; and at last by an Expedient called an Act of 
Indemnity (whereof I described the Nature to him) they secure themselves 
from After-reckonings, and retire from the Publick, laden with the Spoils 
of the Nation.

The Palace of a Chief Minister, is a Seminary to breed up others in his own 
Trade: The Pages, Lacquies, and Porter, by imitating their Master, become 
Ministers of State in their several Districts, and learn to excel in the three 
principal Ingredients, of Insolence, Lying, and Bribery. Accordingly, they 
have a Subaltern Court paid to them by Persons of the best Rank; and 
sometimes by the Force of Dexterity and Impudence, arrive through 
several Gradations to be Successors to their Lord.

He is usually governed by a decayed Wench or favourite Footman, who are 
the Tunnels through which all Graces are conveyed, and may properly be 
called, in the last Resort, the Governors of the Kingdom.

One Day in Discourse my Master, having heard me mention the Nobility of 
my Country, was pleased to make me a Compliment which I could not 
pretend to deserve: That he was sure, I must have been born of some Noble 
Family, because I far exceeded in Shape, Colour, and Cleanliness, all the 
Yahoos of his Nation, although I seemed to fail in Strength and Agility, 
which must be imputed to my different Way of Living from those other 
Brutes; and besides, I was not only endowed with the Faculty of Speech, 
but likewise with some Rudiments of Reason, to a Degree that with all his 
Acquaintance I passed for a Prodigy.

He made me observe, that among the Houyhnhnms, the White, the Sorrel, 
and the Iron-grey were not so exactly shaped as the Bay, the Dapple-grey, 
and the Black; nor born with equal Talents of the Mind, or a Capacity to 
improve them; and therefore continued always in the Condition of 
Servants, without ever aspiring to match out of their own Race, which in 
that Country would be reckoned monstrous and unnatural.

I made his Honour my most humble Acknowledgments for the good 
Opinion he was pleased to conceive of me; but assured him at the same 
time, that my Birth was of the lower Sort, having been born of plain honest 
Parents, who were just able to give me a tolerable Education: That Nobility 
among us was altogether a different Thing from the Idea he had of it; That 
our young Noblemen are bred from their Childhood in Idleness and 
Luxury; that as soon as Years will permit, they consume their Vigour, and 
contract odious Diseases among lewd Females; and when their Fortunes are 
almost ruined, they marry some woman of mean Birth, disagreeable 
Person, and unsound Constitution, merely for the Sake of Money, whom 
they hate and despise. That the Productions of such Marriages are generally 
scrophulous, ricketty, or deformed Children; by which Means the Family 
seldom continues above Three Generations, unless the Wife takes Care to 
provide a healthy Father among her Neighbours, or Domesticks, in order 
to improve and continue the Breed. That a weak diseased Body, a meager 
Countenance, and sallow Complexion, are no uncommon Marks of a Great 
Man; and a healthy robust Appearance is so far disgraceful in a Man of 
Quality, that the World is apt to conclude his real Father to have been one 
of the Inferiors of the Family, especially when it is seen that the 
Imperfections of his Mind run parallel with those of his Body; and are little 
else than a Composition of Spleen, Dullness, Ignorance, Caprice, 
Sensuality, and Pride. 

CHAPTER VII.

The Author's great Love of his Native Country. His Master's Observations 
upon the Constitution and Administration of England, as described by the 
Author, with parallel Cases and Comparisons. His Master's Observations 
upon human Nature. 

THE READER may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on myself 
to give so free a Representation of my own Species, among a Race of 
Mortals who were already too apt to conceive the vilest Opinion of human 
Kind from that entire Congruity betwixt me and their Yahoos. But I must 
freely confess, that the many Virtues of those excellent Quadrupeds placed 
in opposite View to human Corruptions, had so far opened my Eyes and 
enlightened my Understanding, that I began to view the Actions and 
Passions of Man in a very different Light, and to think the Honour of my 
own Kind not worth managing; which, besides, it was impossible for me to 
do before a Person of so acute a Judgment as my Master, who daily 
convinced me of a thousand Faults in myself, whereof I had not the least 
Perception before, and which among us would never be numbered even 
among human Infirmities, I had likewise learned from his Example an 
utter Detestation of all Falsehood or Disguise; and Truth appeared so 
amiable to me, that I determined upon sacrificing every thing to it. 

Let me deal so candidly with the Reader, as to confess, that there was yet a 
much stronger Motive for the Freedom I took in my Representation of 
Things. I had not been a Year in this Country, before I contracted such a 
Love and Veneration for the Inhabitants, that I entered on a firm 
Resolution, never to return to human Kind, but to pass the rest of my Life 
among these admirableHouyhnhnmsin the Contemplation and Practice of 
every Virtue; where I could have no Example or Incitement to Vice. But it 
was decreed by Fortune, my perpetual Enemy, that so great a Felicity 
should not fall to my Share. However, it is now some Comfort to reflect, 
that in what I said of my Countrymen, I extenuated their Faults as much as 
I durst before so strict an Examiner, and upon every Article, gave as 
favourable a Turn as the Matter would bear. For, indeed, who is there 
alive that will not be swayed by his Byass and Partiality to the Place of his 
Birth? 

I have related the Substance of several Conversations I had with my 
Master, during the greatest part of the Time I had the Honour to be in his 
Service, but have indeed for Brevity sake omitted much more than is here 
set down. 

When I had answered all his Questions, and his Curiosity seemed to be 
fully satisfied; he sent for me one Morning early, and commanded me to sit 
down at some Distance, (an Honour which he had never before conferred 
upon me) he said, He had been very seriously considering my whole Story, 
as far as it related both to myself and my Country: That he looked upon us 
as sort of Animals to whose Share, by what Accident he could not 
conjecture, some small Pittance of Reason had fallen, whereof we made no 
other Use than by its Assistance to aggravate our natural Corruptions, and 
to acquire new ones which Nature had not given us: That we disarmed 
ourselves of the few Abilities she had bestowed, had been very successful in 
multiplying our original Wants, and seemed to spend our whole Lives in 
vain Endeavours to supply them by our own Inventions. That as to myself, 
it was manifest I had neither the Strength or Agility of a common Yahoo, 
that I walked infirmly on my hinder Feet, had found out a Contrivance to 
make my Claws of no Use or Defence, and to remove the Hair from my 
Chin, which was intended as a shelter from the Sun and the Weather. 
Lastly, That I could neither run with Speed, nor climb Trees like my 
Brethren (as he called them) the Yahoos in this Country. 

That our Institutions of Government and Law were plainly owing to our 
gross Defects in Reason, and by Consequence, in Vertue; because Reason 
alone is sufficient to govern a Rational Creature; which was therefore a 
Character we had no Pretense to challenge, even from the Account I had 
given of my own People, although he manifestly perceived, that in order to 
favour them, I had concealed many Particulars, and often said the Thing 
which was not. 

He was the more confirmed in this Opinion, because he observed, that as I 
agreed in every Feature of my Body with other Yahoos, except where it 
was to my real Disadvantage in point of Strength, Speed and Activity, the 
shortness of my Claws, and some other Particulars where Nature had no 
Part; so from the Representation I had given him of our Lives, our 
Manners, and our Actions, he found as near a Resemblance in the 
Disposition of our Minds. He said the Yahoos were known to hate one 
another more than they did any different Species of Animals; and the 
Reason usually assigned, was the Odiousness of their own Shapes, which all 
could see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had therefore begun to think 
it not unwise in us to cover our Bodies, and by that Invention, conceal 
many of our own Deformities from each other, which would else be hardly 
supportable. But, he now found he had been mistaken, and that the 
Dissensions of those Brutes in his Country were owing to the same Cause 
with ours, as I had described them. For, if (said he) you throw among Five 
Yahoos as much Food as would be sufficient for Fifty, they will, instead of 
eating peaceably, fall together by the Ears, each single one impatient to 
have all to itself; and therefore a Servant was usually employed to stand by 
while they were feeding abroad, and those kept at home were tied at a 
Distance from each other: that if a Cow died of Age or Accident, before a 
Houyhnhnm could secure it for his own Yahoos, those in the 
Neighbourhood would come in Herds to seize it, and then would ensue such 
a Battle as I had described, with terrible Wounds made by their Claws on 
both Sides, although they seldom were able to kill one another, for want of 
such convenient Instruments of Death as we had invented. At other times 
the like Battles have been fought between the Yahoos of several 
Neighbourhoods without any visible Cause: Those of one District watching 
all Opportunities to surprize the next before they are prepared. But if they 
find their Project hath miscarried, they return home, and for want of 
Enemies, engage in what I call a Civil War among themselves. 

That in some Fields of his Country there are certain shining Stones of 
several Colours, whereof the Yahoos are violently fond, and when part of 
these Stones is fixed in the Earth, as it sometimes happeneth, they will dig 
with their Claws for whole Days to get them out, then carry them away, 
and hide them by Heaps in their Kennels; but still looking round with great 
Caution, for Fear their Comrades should find out their Treasure. My 
Master said, he could never discover the Reason of this unnatural Appetite, 
or how these Stones could be of any Use to a Yahoo; but now he believed it 
might proceed from the same Principle of Avarice which I had ascribed to 
Mankind: that he had once, by way of Experiment, privately removed a 
Heap of these Stones from the Place where one of his Yahoos had buried it: 
Whereupon, the sordid Animal missing his Treasure, by his loud lamenting 
brought the whole Herd to the Place, there miserably howled, then fell to 
biting and tearing the rest, began to pine away, would neither eat, nor 
sleep, nor work, till he ordered a Servant privately to convey the Stones 
into the same Hole, and hide them as before; which when his Yahoo had 
found, he presently recovered his Spirits and good Humour, but took good 
Care to remove them to a better hiding-place, and hath ever since been a 
very serviceable Brute. 

My Master farther assured me, which I also observed myself, that in the 
Fields where the shining Stones abound, the fiercest and most frequent 
Battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads of the neighbouring 
Yahoos. 

He said, it was common when two Yahoos discovered such a Stone in a 
Field, and were contending which of them should be the Proprietor, a third 
would take the Advantage, and carry it away from them both; which my 
Master would needs contend to have some kind of Resemblance with our 
Suits at Law; wherein I thought it for our Credit not to undeceive him; 
since the Decision he mentioned was much more equitable than many 
Decrees among us: Because the Plaintiff and Defendant there lost nothing 
beside the Stone they contended for, whereas our Courts of Equity, would 
never have dismissed the Cause while either of them had any thing left. 

My Master, continuing his Discourse, said, There was nothing that 
rendered the Yahoos more odious, than their undistinguishing Appetite to 
devour every Thing that came in their way, whether Herbs, Roots, Berries, 
the corrupted Flesh of Animals, or all mingled together: And it was 
peculiar in their Temper, that they were fonder of what they could get by 
Rapine or Stealth at a greater Distance, than much better Food provided 
for them at home. If their Prey held out, they would eat till they were 
ready to burst, after which Nature had pointed out to them a certain Root 
that gave them a general Evacuation. 

There was also another kind of Root very juicy, but somewhat rare and 
difficult to be found, which the Yahoos sought for with much Eagerness, 
and would suck it with great Delight; and it produced in them the same 
Effects that Wine hath upon us. It would make them sometimes hug, 
sometimes tear one another, they would howl and grin, and chatter, and 
tumble, and then fall asleep in the Dirt. 

I did indeed observe, that the Yahoos were the only Animals in this 
Country subject to any Diseases; which however, were much fewer than 
Horses have among us, and contracted not by any ill Treatment they meet 
with, but by the Nastiness, and Greediness of that sordid Brute. Neither has 
their Language any more than a general Appellation for those Maladies, 
which is borrowed from the Name of the Beast, and called Hnea-Yahoo, or 
the Yahoo's Evil, and the Cure prescribed is a mixture of their own Dung 
and Urine forcibly put down the Yahoo's Throat. This I have since often 
taken myself, and do freely recommend it to my Countrymen, for the 
publick Good, as an admirable Specifick against all Diseases produced by 
Repletion. 

As to Learning, Government, Arts, Manufactures, and the like, my Master 
confessed he could find little or no Resemblance between the Yahoos of 
that Country and those in ours. For, he only meant to observe what Parity 
there was in our Natures. He had heard indeed some curious Houyhnhnms 
observe, that in most Herds there was a sort of ruling Yahoo (as among us 
there is generally some leading or principal Stag in a park), who was 
always more deformed in Body and mischievous in Disposition, than any of 
the rest. That this Leader had usually a Favourite as like himself as he 
could get, whose Employment was to lick his Master's Feet and Posteriors, 
and drive the Female Yahoos to his Kennel; for which he was now and then 
rewarded with a piece of Ass's Flesh. This Favourite is hated by the whole 
Herd, and therefore to protect himself, keeps always near the Person of his 
Leader. He usually continues in Office till worse can be found; but the very 
Moment he is discarded, his Successor at the Head of all the Yahoos in that 
District, Young and Old, Male and Female, come in a Body, and discharge 
their Excrements upon him from Head to Foot. But how far this might be 
applicable to our Courts and Favourites, and Ministers of State, my Master 
said I could best determine. 

I dared make no Return to this malicious Insinuation, which debased human 
Understanding below the Sagacity of a common Hound, who has Judgment 
enough to distinguish and follow the Cry of the ablest Dog in the Pack, 
without being ever mistaken. 

My Master told me, there were some Qualities remarkable in the Yahoos, 
which he had not observed me to mention, or at least very slightly, in the 
Accounts I had given him of human kind; he said, Those Animals, like 
other Brutes, had their Females in common; but in this they differed, that 
the She-Yahoo would admit the Male, while she was pregnant; and that the 
Hees would quarrel and fight with Females as fiercely as with each other. 
Both which Practices were such Degrees of Brutality, that no other 
sensitive Creature ever arrived at. 

Another thing he wondered at in the Yahoos, was their strange Disposition 
to Nastiness and Dirt, whereas there appears to be a natural Love of 
Cleanliness in all other Animals. As to the two former Accusations, I was 
glad to let them pass without any Reply, because I had not a Word to offer 
upon it in Defence of my Species, which otherwise I certainly had done 
from my own Inclinations. But I could have easily vindicated Human Kind 
from the Imputation of Singularity upon Article, if there had been any 
Swine in that Country (as unluckily for me there were not) which although 
it may be a sweeter Quadruped than a Yahoo, cannot I humbly conceive in 
Justice pretend to more Cleanliness; and so his Honour himself must have 
owned, if he had seen their filthy way of feeding, and their Custom of 
wallowing and sleeping in the Mud. 

My Master likewise mentioned another Quality which his Servants had 
discovered in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly unaccountable. He 
said, a Fancy would sometimes take a Yahoo, to retire into a Corner, to lie 
down and howl, and groan, and spurn away all that came near him, 
although he were young and fat, wanted neither Food nor Water; nor could 
the Servants imagine what could possibly ail him. And the only Remedy 
they found was to set him to hard Work, after which he would infallibly 
come to himself. To this I was silent out of Partiality to my own Kind; yet 
here I could plainly discover the true seeds of Spleen, which only seize on 
the Lazy, the Luxurious, and the Rich; who, if they were forced to undergo 
the same Regimen, I would undertake for the Cure. 

His Honour had further observed, that a Female-Yahoo would often stand 
behind a Bank or a Bush, to gaze on the young Males passing by, and then 
appear, and hide, using many antick Gestures and Grimaces, at which time 
it was observed, that she had a most offensive Smell; and when any of the 
Males advanced, would slowly retire, looking often back, and with a 
counterfeit shew of Fear; run off into some convenient Place where she 
knew the Male would follow her. 

At other times if a Female Stranger came among them, Three or Four of 
her own Sex would get about her, and stare and chatter, and grin, and 
smell her all over; and then turn off with Gestures that seemed to express 
Contempt and Disdain. 

Perhaps my Master might refine a little in these Speculations, which he had 
drawn from what he observed himself, or had been told him by others: 
However, I could not reflect without some Amazement, and much Sorrow, 
that the Rudiments of Lewdness, Coquetry, Censure, and Scandal, should 
have place by Instinct in Womankind. 

I expected every Moment that my Master would accuse the Yahoos of those 
unnatural Appetites in both Sexes, so common among us. But Nature, it 
seems, has not been so Expert a School-mistress; and these politer Pleasures 
are entirely the Productions of Art and Reason, on our Side of the Globe. 

CHAPTER VIII.

The Author relates several Particulars of the Yahoos. The great Virtues of 
the Houyhnhnms. The Education and Exercise of their Youth. Their 
general Assembly. 

AS I OUGHT to have understood Human Nature much better than I 
supposed it possible for my Master to do, so it was easy to apply the 
Character he gave of the Yahoos to myself and my Countrymen, and I 
believed I could yet make farther Discoveries from my own Observation. I 
therefore often begged his Favour to let me go among the Herds of Yahoos 
in the Neighbourhood, to which he always very graciously consented, being 
perfectly convinced that the Hatred I bore those Brutes, would never suffer 
me to be corrupted by them; and his Honour ordered one of his Servants, a 
strong Sorrel Nag, very honest and good-Natured, to be my Guard, 
without whose Protection I durst not undertake such Adventures. For I 
have already told the Reader how much I was pestered by those odious 
Animals upon my first Arrival. And I afterwards failed three or four times 
of very narrowly of falling into their Clutches, when I happened to stray at 
any Distance without my Hanger. And I have Reason to believe they had 
some Imagination that I was of their own Species, which I often assisted 
myself, by stripping up my sleeves, and shewing my naked Arms, and 
Breast in their sight, when my Protector was with me. At which times they 
would approach as near as they durst, and imitate my Actions, after the 
manner of Monkeys, but ever with great Signs of Hatred; as a tame Jack-
Daw with Cap and Stockings, is always persecuted by the wild ones, when 
he happens to get among them. 

They are prodigiously nimble from their Infancy; however, I once caught a 
young Male of three Years old, and endeavoured by all Marks of 
Tenderness to make it quiet; but the little Imp fell a squalling, and 
scratching, and biting with such Violence, that I was forced to let it go; and 
it was high time, for a whole Troop of old ones came about us at the Noise, 
but finding the Cub was safe, (for away it ran) and my Sorrel Nag being 
by, they durst not venture near us. I observed the young Animal's Flesh to 
smell very rank, and the stink was somewhat between a Weasel and a Fox, 
but much more disagreeable. I forgot another Circumstance (and perhaps I 
might have the Reader's pardon if it were wholly omitted), that while I 
held the odious Vermin in my Hands, it voided its filthy Excrements of a 
Yellow liquid Substance, all over my Cloaths; but by good Fortune there 
was a small Brook hard by, where I washed myself as clean as I could, 
although I durst not come into my Master's Presence, until I were 
sufficiently aired. 

By what I could discover, the Yahoos appear to be the most unteachable of 
all Animals, their Capacities never reaching higher than to draw or carry 
Burthens. Yet I am of Opinion this Defect ariseth chiefly from a perverse, 
restive Disposition. For they are cunning, malicious, treacherous and 
revengeful. They are strong and hardy, but of a cowardly Spirit, and by 
consequence, insolent, abject, and cruel. It is observed that the Red-haired 
of both Sexes are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet 
they much exceed in Strength and Activity. 

TheHouyhnhnms keep the Yahoos for present use in Huts not far from the 
House; but the rest are sent abroad to certain Fields, where they dig up 
Roots, eat several kinds of Herbs, and scratch about for Carrion, or 
sometimes catch Weasels and Luhimuhs (a sort of wild Rat) which they 
greedily devour. Nature hath taught them to dig deep Holes with their Nails 
on the Side of a rising Ground, wherein they lie by themselves, only the 
Kennels of the Females are larger, sufficient to hold two or three Cubs. 

They swim from their Infancy like Frogs, and are able to continue long 
under Water, where they often take Fish, which the Females carry home to 
their Young. And upon this Occasion, I hope the Reader will pardon my 
relating an odd Adventure. 

Being one Day abroad with my Protector, the Sorrel Nag, and the Weather 
exceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe in a River that was near. He 
consented, and I immediately stripped myself stark naked, and went down 
softly into the Stream. It happened that a young Female Yahoo standing 
behind a Bank, saw the whole Proceeding, and enflamed by Desire, as the 
Nag and I conjectured, came running with all Speed, and leaped into the 
Water, within five Yards of the Place where I bathed. I was never in my 
Life so terribly frighted; the Nag was grazing at some Distance, not 
suspecting any Harm. She embraced me after a most fulsome Manner; I 
roared as loud as I could, and the Nag came galloping towards me, 
whereupon she quitted her Grasp, with the utmost Reluctancy, and leaped 
upon the opposite Bank, where she stood gazing and howling all the time I 
was putting on my Cloaths. 

This was matter of Diversion to my Master and his Family, as well as of 
Mortification to myself. For now I could no longer deny, that I was a real 
Yahoo, in every Limb and Feature, since the Females had a natural 
Prophensity to me as one of their own Species. Neither was the Hair of this 
Brute of a Red Colour (which might have been some Excuse for an 
Appetite a little irregular), but Black as a Sloe, and her Countenance did 
not make an Appearance altogether so hideous as the rest of the Kind; for, 
I think, she could not be above eleven Years old. 

Having already lived three Years in this Country, the Reader I suppose will 
expect that I should, like other Travellers, give him some Account of the 
Manners and customs of its Inhabitants, which it was indeed my principal 
Study to learn. 

As these Noble Houyhnhnms are endowed by Nature with a general 
Disposition to all Virtues, and have no Conceptions or Ideas of what is Evil 
in a rational Creature, so their grand Maxim is, to cultivate Reason, and to 
be wholly governed by it. Neither is Reason among them a Point 
problematical as with us, where Men can argue with Plausibility on both 
sides of the Question; but strikes you with immediate Conviction; as it must 
needs do where it is not mingled, obscured, or discoloured by Passion and 
Interest. I remember it was with extreme Difficulty that I could bring my 
Master to understand the Meaning of the Word Opinion, or how a Point 
could be disputable; because Reason taught us to affirm or deny only where 
we are certain, and beyond our Knowledge we cannot do either. So that 
Controversies, Wranglings, Disputes, and Positiveness in false or dubious 
Propositions are Evils unknown among the Houyhnhnms. In the like 
Manner when I used to explain to him our several Systems of Natural 
Philosophy, he would laugh that a Creature pretending to Reason should 
value itself upon the Knowledge of other Peoples Conjectures, and in 
Things, where that Knowledge, if it were certain, could be of no Use. 
Wherein he agreed entirely with the Sentiments of Socrates, as Plato 
delivers them; which I mention as the highest Honour I can do that Prince 
of Philosophers. I have often since reflected what Destruction such a 
Doctrine would make in the Libraries of Europe, and how many Paths to 
Fame would be then shut up in the Learned World. 

Friendship and Benevolence are the two principal Virtues among the 
Houyhnhnms, and these not confined to particular Objects, but universal to 
the whole Race. For a Stranger from the remotest Part is equally treated 
with the nearest Neighbour, and wherever he goes, looks upon himself as at 
home. They preserve Decency and Civility in the highest Degrees, but are 
altogether ignorant of Ceremony. They have no Fondness for their Colts or 
Foles, but the Care they take in educating them proceeds entirely from the 
Dictates of Reason. And I observed my Master to shew the same Affection 
to his Neighbour's Issue that he had for his own. They will have it that 
Nature teaches them to love the whole Species, and it is Reason only that 
maketh a Distinction of Persons, where there is a superior Degree of 
Virtue. 

When the matronHouyhnhnms have produced one of each Sex, they no 
longer accompany with their Consorts, except they lose one of their Issue 
by some Casualty, which very seldom happens: But in such a Case they 
meet again; or when the like Accident befalls a Person whose Wife is past 
bearing, some other Couple bestow on him one of their own Colts, and 
then go together again till the Mother is pregnant. This Caution is 
necessary to prevent the Country from being overburthened with Numbers. 
But the Race of inferiorHouyhnhnms bred up to be Servants is not so 
strictly limited upon this Article; These are allowed to produce three of 
each Sex, to be Domesticks in the Noble Families. 

In their Marriages they are exactly careful to choose such Colours as will 
not make any disagreeable Mixture in the Breed. Strength is chiefly valued 
in the Male, and Comeliness in the Female, not upon the account of Love, 
but to preserve the Race from degenerating; for where a Female happens to 
excell in Strength, a Consort is chosen with regard to Comeliness. 
Courtship, Love, Presents, Joyntures, Settlements, have no place in their 
Thoughts, or Terms whereby to express them in their Language. The 
young Couple meet and are joyned, merely because it is the Determination 
of their Parents and Friends: It is what they see done every Day, and they 
look upon it as one of the necessary Actions of a Rational Being. But the 
Violation of Marriage, or any other Unchastity, was never heard of: And 
the married Pair pass their Lives with the same Friendship, and mutual 
Benevolence that they bear to all others of the same Species, who come in 
their way; without Jealousy, Fondness, Quarrelling, or Discontent. 

In educating the Youth of both Sexes, their Method is admirable, and 
highly deserves our Imitation. These are not suffered to Taste a Grain of 
Oats, except upon certain Days, till Eighteen Years old; nor Milk, but very 
rarely; and in Summer they graze two Hours in the Morning, and as long 
in the Evening, which their Parents likewise observe, but the Servants are 
not allowed above half that time, and a great Part of their Grass is brought 
home, which they eat at the most convenient Hours, when they can be best 
spared from work. 

Temperance, Industry, Exercise and Cleanliness, are the Lessons equally 
enjoyned to the young ones of both Sexes: And my Master thought it 
monstrous in us to give the Females a different kind of Education from the 
Males, except in some Articles of Domestick Management; whereby, as he 
truly observed, one half of our Natives were good for nothing but bringing 
Children into the World: And to trust the Care of our Children to such 
useless Animals, he said, was yet a greater Instance of Brutality. 

But theHouyhnhnms train up their Youth to Strength, Speed, and 
Hardiness, by exercising them in running Races up and down steep Hills, 
and over hard and stony Grounds, and when they are all in a Sweat, they 
are ordered to leap over Head and Ears, into a Pond or a River. Four times 
a Year the Youth of a certain District meet to shew their Proficiency in 
Running, and Leaping, and other Feats of Strength and Agility; where the 
Victor is rewarded, with a Song made in his or her Praise. On this Festival 
the Servants drive a Herd of Yahoos into the Field, laden with Hay, and 
Oats, and Milk, for a repast to the Houyhnhnms; after which these Brutes 
are immediately driven back again, for Fear of being noisome to the 
Assembly. 

Every fourth Year, at the Vernal Equinox, there is a Representative 
Council of the whole Nation, which meets in a Plain about twenty Miles 
from our House, and continues about five or six Days. Here they enquire 
into the State and Condition of the several Districts, Whether they abound 
or be deficient in Hay or Oats, or Cows or Yahoos? and wherever there is 
any Want (which is seldom) it is immediately supplied by unanimous 
Consent and Contribution. Here likewise the Regulation of Children is 
settled: As for instance, if a Houyhnhnm hath two Males, he changeth one 
of them with another that hath two Females: And when a Child hath been 
lost by any Casualty, where the Mother is past Breeding, it is determined 
what Family in the District shall breed another to supply the Loss. 

CHAPTER IX.

A grand Debate at the General Assembly of the Houyhnhnms, and how it 
was determined. The Learning of the Houyhnhnms. Their Buildings. Their 
manner of Burials. The defectiveness of their Language. 

ONE OF THESE Grand Assemblies was held in my time, about three 
Months before my Departure, whither my Master went as the 
Representative of our District. In this Council was resumed their old 
Debate, and indeed, the only Debate which ever happened in that Country; 
whereof my Master after his Return gave me a very particular Account. 

The Question to be debated was whether the Yahoos should be 
exterminated from the Face of the Earth? One of the Members for the 
Affirmative offered several Arguments of great Strength, and Weight, 
alledging That as the Yahoos were the most filthy, noisome, and deformed 
Animal which Nature ever produced, so they were the most restive and 
indocile, mischievous and malicious: They would privately suck the Teats 
of the Houyhnhnms Cows, kill and devour their Cats, trample down their 
Oats and Grass, if they were not continually watched, and commit a 
thousand other Extravagancies. He took notice of a general Tradition, That 
Yahoos had not been always in that Country: But, that many Ages ago, two 
of these Brutes appeared together upon a Mountain, whether produced by 
the Heat of the Sun upon corrupted Mud and Slime, or from the Ooze or 
Froth of the Sea, was never known. That these Yahoos engendered, and 
their Brood in a short time grew so numerous as to over run and infest the 
whole Nation. That theHouyhnhnms to get rid of this Evil, made a general 
Hunting, and at last enclosed the whole Herd; and destroying the old Ones, 
every Houyhnhnm kept two young Ones in a Kennel, and brought them to 
such a degree of Tameness, as an Animal so savage by Nature can be 
capable of acquiring; using them for Draught and Carriage. That there 
seemed to be much Truth in this Tradition, and that those Creatures could 
not be Ylnhniamshy (or Aborigines of the Land), because of the violent 
Hatred the Houyhnhnms, as well as all other Animals, bore them; which 
although their evil Disposition sufficiently deserved, could never have 
arrived at so high a Degree, if they had been Aborigines, or else they 
would have long since been rooted out. That the Inhabitants taking a Fancy 
to use the Service of the Yahoos, had very imprudently neglected to 
cultivate the Breed of Asses, which were a comely Animal, easily kept, 
more tame and orderly, without any offensive Smell, strong enough for 
Labour, although they yield to the other in Agility of Body; and if their 
Braying be no agreeable Sound, it is far preferable to the horrible 
Howlings of the Yahoos. 

Several others declared their Sentiments to the same Purpose, when my 
Master proposed an Expedient to the Assembly, whereof he had indeed 
borrowed the Hint from me. He approved of the Tradition, mentioned by 
the Honourable Member, who spoke before, and affirmed, that the Two 
Yahoos said to be first seen among them had been driven thither over the 
Sea; that coming to Land, and being forsaken by their Companions, they 
retired to the Mountains, and degenerating by Degrees, became in process 
of time, much more savage than those of their own Species in the Country 
from where these two Originals came. The Reason of his assertion was that 
he had now in his Possession a certain wonderful Yahoo, (meaning myself) 
which most of them had heard of, and many of them had seen. He then 
related to them, how he first found me; that my Body was all covered with 
an artificial Composure of the Skins and Hairs of other Animals: That I had 
a Language of my own, and had thoroughly learned theirs: That I had 
related to him the Accidents which brought me thither: That when he saw 
me without my Covering, I was an exact Yahoo in every Part, only of a 
whiter Colour, less hairy, and with shorter Claws. He added, how I had 
endeavoured to persuade him, that in my own and other Countries, the 
Yahoos acted as the governing, Rational Animal, and held theHouyhnhnms 
in Servitude: That he observed in me all the Qualities of a Yahoo, only a 
little more civilized by some Tincture of Reason, which however was in a 
degree as far inferior to the Houyhnhnm Race, as the Yahoos of their 
Country were to me: That among other things, I mentioned a Custom we 
had of CastratingHouyhnhnms when they were young, in order to render 
them tame: That the Operation was easy and safe; that it was no Shame to 
learn Wisdom from Brutes, as Industry is taught by the Ant, and Building 
by the Swallow. (For so I translate the Word Lyhannh, although it be a 
much larger Fowl.) That this Invention might be practiced upon the 
younger Yahoos here, which, besides rendering them tractable and fitter 
for Use, would in an Age put an End to the whole Species without 
destroying Life. That, in the mean time the Houyhnhnms should be 
exhorted to cultivate the Breed of Asses, which as they are in all respects 
more valuable Brutes, so they have this Advantage, to be fit for Service at 
Five Years old, which the others are not till twelve. 

This was all my Master thought fit to tell me at that time, of what passed in 
the Grand Council. But he was pleased to conceal one Particular, which 
related Personally to myself, whereof I soon felt the unhappy Effect, as the 
Reader will know in its proper Place, and from which I date all the 
succeeding Misfortunes of my Life. 

The Houyhnhnms have no Letters, and consequently their Knowledge is all 
Traditional. But there happening few Events of any Moment among a 
People so well united, naturally disposed to every Virtue, wholly governed 
by Reason, and cut off from all Commerce with other Nations, the 
Historical Part is easily preserved without burthening their Memory. I have 
already observed, that they are subject to no Diseases, and therefore can 
have no need of Physicians. However, they have excellent Medicines 
composed of Herbs, to cure accidental Bruises and Cuts in the Pastern or 
Frog of the Foot by sharp Stones, as well as other Maims and Hurts in the 
several Parts of the Body. 

They calculate the Year by the Revolution of the Sun and the Moon, but use 
no subdivisions into Weeks. They are well enough acquainted with the 
Motions of those two luminaries, and understand the Nature of Eclipses; 
and this is the utmost Progress of their Astronomy. 

In Poetry they must be allowed to excell all other Mortals; wherein the 
Justness of their Similes, and the Minuteness, as well as Exactness of their 
Descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their Verses abound very much in 
both of these, and usually contain either some exalted Notions of 
Friendship and Benevolence, or the Praises of those who were Victors in 
Races, and other bodily Exercises. Their Buildings, although very rude and 
simple, are not inconvenient, but well contrived to defend them from all 
Injuries of Cold and Heat. They have a kind of Tree which at Forty Years 
old loosens in the Root, and falls with the first Storm; they grow very 
strait, and being pointed like stakes with a sharp Stone, (for 
theHouyhnhnms know not the use of Iron) they stick them erect in the 
Ground about ten Inches asunder, and then weave in Oat-straw, or 
sometimes Wattles betwixt them. The Roof is made after the same Manner, 
and so are the Doors. 

TheHouyhnhnms use the hollow Part between the Pastern and the Hoof of 
their Fore-feet, as we do our Hands, and this with greater Dexterity, than I 
could at first imagine. I have seen a White Mare of our Family thread a 
Needle (which I lent her on purpose) with that Joynt. They milk their 
Cows, reap their Oats, and do all the Work which requires Hands, in the 
same manner. They have a kind of hard Flints, which by grinding against 
other Stones, they form into Instruments, that serve instead of Wedges, 
Axes, and Hammers. With Tools made of these Flints, they likewise cut 
their Hay, and reap their Oats, which there groweth naturally in several 
Fields: The Yahoos draw home the Sheaves in Carriages, and the Servants 
tread them in several covered Huts, to get out the Grain, which is kept in 
Stores. They make a rude kind of earthen and wooden Vessels, and bake 
the former in the Sun. 

If they can avoid Casualties, they die only of Old-Age, and are buried in 
the obscurest Places that can be found, their Friends and Relations 
expressing neither Joy nor Grief at their Departure; nor does the dying 
Person discover the least Regret that he is leaving the World, any more 
than if he were upon returning home from a Visit to one of his 
Neighbours. I remember my Master having once made an appointment 
with a Friend and his Family to come to his House upon some Affair of 
Importance, on the Day fixed, the Mistress and her two Children came 
very late; she made two Excuses, first for her Husband, who, as she said, 
happened that very Morning to Shnuwnh. The Word is strongly expressive 
in their Language, but not easily rendered into English; it signifies, to 
retire to his first Mother. Her Excuse for not coming sooner, was, that her 
Husband dying late in the Morning, she was a good while consulting her 
Servants about a convenient Place where his Body should be laid; and I 
observed she behaved herself at our House, as chearfully as the rest, and 
died about three Months after. 

They live generally to Seventy or Seventy-five Years, very seldom to 
Fourscore: Some Weeks before their Death they feel a gradual Decay, but 
without Pain. During this time they are much visited by their Friends, 
because they cannot go abroad, with their usual Ease and Satisfaction. 
However, about ten Days before their Death, which they seldom fail in 
computing, they return the Visits that have been made them by those who 
are nearest in the Neighbourhood, being carried in a convenient Sledge 
drawn by Yahoos, which Vehicle they use, not only upon this Occasion, but 
when they grow old upon long Journeys, or when they are lamed by any 
Accident. And therefore when the dying Houyhnhnms return those Visits, 
they take a solemn Leave of their Friends, as if they were going to some 
remote Part of the Country, where they designed to pass the rest of their 
Lives. 

I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the Houyhnhnms have 
no Word in their Language to express any thing that is Evil, except what 
they borrow from the Deformities or ill Qualities of the Yahoos. Thus they 
denote the Folly of a Servant, an Omission of a Child, a Stone that cut their 
Feet, a continuance of foul or unseasonable Weather, and the like, by 
adding to each the Epithet of Yahoo. For Instance, hhnm Yahoo, 
Whnaholm Yahoo, Ynlhmndwihlma Yahoo, and an ill-contrived House, 
Ynholmhnmrohlnw Yahoo. 

I could with great Pleasure enlarge further upon the Manners and Virtues 
of this excellent People; but intending in a short time to publish a Volume 
by itself expressly upon that Subject, I refer the Reader thither. And in the 
mean time, proceed to relate my own sad Catastrophe. 

CHAPTER X.

The Author's Oeconomy and happy Life among the Houyhnhnms. His great 
Improvement in Virtue, by conversing with them. Their Conversations. 
The Author has notice given him by his Master that he must depart from 
the Country. He falls into a Swoon for Grief, but submits. He contrives and 
finishes a Canoo, by the help of a Fellow-Servant, and puts to Sea at a 
venture. 

I HAD settled my little Oeconomy to my own Heart's content. My Master 
had ordered a Room to be made for me after their Manner, about six 
Yards from the House, the Sides and Floors of which I plastered with Clay, 
and covered with Rush-mats of my own contriving; I had beaten Hemp, 
which there grows wild, and made of it a sort of Ticking: This I filled with 
the Feathers of several Birds I had taken with Springes made of Yahoos 
Hairs, and were excellent Food. I had worked two Chairs with my Knife, 
the Sorrel Nag helping me in the grosser and more labourious Part. When 
my Cloaths were worn to Rags, I made myself others with the Skins of 
Rabbets, and of a certain beautiful Animal about the same size, called 
Nnuhnoh, the Skin of which is covered with a fine Down. Of these I 
likewise made very tolerable Stockings. I soled my Shoes with Wood, 
which I cut from a Tree, and fitted to the upper Leather, and when this was 
worn out, I supplied it with the Skins of Yahoos dried in the Sun. I often 
got Honey out of hollow Trees, which I mingled with Water, or eat with 
my Bread. No Man could more verify the Truth of these two Maxims, That 
Nature is very easily satisfied; and That Necessity is the Mother of 
Invention. I enjoyed perfect Health of Body and Tranquillity of Mind; I did 
not feel the Treachery or Inconstancy of a Friend, nor the Injuries of a 
secret or open Enemy. I had no occasion of bribing, flattering, or pimping, 
to procure the Favour of any great Man or of his Minion. I wanted no 
Fence against Fraud or Oppression; Here was neither Physician to destroy 
my Body, nor Lawyer to ruin my Fortune; No Informer to watch my 
Words, and Actions, or forge Accusations against me for hire: Here were 
no Gibers, Censurers, Backbiters, Pick-pockets, Highwaymen, 
Housebreakers, Attorneys, Bawds, Buffoons, Gamesters, Politicians, Wits, 
Spleneticks, tedious Talkers, Controvertists, Ravishers, Murderers, 
Robbers, Virtuosos; no Leaders or Followers of Party and Faction: No 
encouragers to Vice, by Seducement or Examples: No Dungeon, Axes, 
Gibbets, Whipping-posts, or Pillories: No cheating Shop-keepers or 
Mechanicks: No Pride, Vanity: or Affectation; No Fops, Bullies, 
Drunkards, strolling Whores, or Poxes: No ranting, lewd, expensive 
Wives: No stupid, proud Pedants: No importunate, overbearing, 
quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty, conceited, swearing Companions: No 
Scoundrels, raised from the Dust for the Sake of their Vices, or Nobility 
thrown into it on account of their Virtues: No Lords, Fidlers, Judges, or 
Dancing-Masters. 

I had the Favour of being admitted to several Houyhnhnms, who came to 
visit or dine with my Master; where his Honour graciously suffered me to 
wait in the Room, and listen to their Discourse. Both he and his Company 
would often descend to ask me Questions, and receive my Answers. I had 
also sometimes the Honour of attending my Master in his Visits to others. I 
never presumed to speak, except in answer to a Question, and then I did it 
with inward Regret, because it was a Loss of so much Time for improving 
myself: But I was infinitely delighted with the Station of an humble 
Auditor in such Conversations, where nothing passed but what was useful, 
expressed in the fewest and most significant Words; where the greatest 
Decency was observed, without the least Degree of Ceremony; where no 
Person spoke without being pleased himself, and pleasing his Companions: 
Where there was no Interruption, Tediousness, Heat, or Difference of 
Sentiments. They have a Notion, That when People are met together, a 
short Silence doth much improve Conversation: This I found to be true; for 
during those little Intermissions of Talk, new Ideas would arise in their 
Thoughts, which very much enlivened their Discourse. Their Subjects are 
generally on Friendship and Benevolence, or Order and Oeconomy; 
sometimes upon the visible Operations of Nature, or ancient Traditions, 
upon the Bounds and Limits of Virtue, upon the unerring Rules of Reason, 
or upon some Determinations, to be taken at the next great Assembly; and 
often upon the various Excellencies of Poetry. I may add without Vanity, 
that my Presence often gave them sufficient Matter for Discourse, because 
it afforded my Master an Occasion of letting his Friends into the History of 
me and my Country, upon which they were all pleased to descant in a 
Manner not very advantageous to human Kind; and for that Reason I shall 
not repeat what they said: Only I may be allowed to observe, That his 
Honour, to my great Admiration, appeared to understand the Nature of 
Yahoos in all Countries much better than myself. He went through all our 
Vices and Follies, and discovered many which I had never mentioned to 
him, by only supposing what Qualities a Yahoo of their Country, with a 
small Proportion of Reason, might be capable of exerting; and concluded, 
with too much Probability, how vile as well as miserable such a Creature 
must be. 

I freely confess, that all the little Knowledge I have of any Value, was 
acquired by the Lectures I received from my Master, and from hearing the 
Discourses of him and his Friends; to which I should be prouder to listen, 
than to dictate to the greatest and wisest Assembly in Europe. I admired the 
Strength, Comeliness, and Speed of the Inhabitants; and such a 
Constellation of Virtues in such Amiable Persons produced in me the 
highest Veneration. At first, indeed, I did not feel that natural Awe which 
the Yahoos and all other Animals bear towards them, but it grew upon me 
by Degrees, much sooner than I imagined, and was mingled with a 
respectful Love and Gratitude, that they would condescend to distinguish 
me from the rest of my Species. 

When I thought of my Family, my Friends, my Countrymen, or Human 
Race in general, I considered them as they really were, Yahoos in Shape 
and Disposition, perhaps a little more civilized, and qualified with the Gift 
of Speech, but making no other use of Reason, than to improve and 
multiply those Vices whereof their Brethren in this Country had only the 
Share that Nature allotted them. When I happened to behold the Reflection 
of my own Form in a Lake or Fountain, I turned away my Face in Horror 
and Detestation of myself, and could better endure the sight of a common 
Yahoo, than of my own Person. By conversing with the Houyhnhnms, and 
looking upon them with Delight, I fell to imitate their Gait and Gesture, 
which is now grown into an Habit, and my Friends often tell me in a blunt 
way, that I trot like a Horse; which, however, I take for a great 
Compliment: Neither shall I disown, that in speaking I am apt to fall into 
the Voice and Manner of the Houyhnhnms, and hear myself ridiculed on 
that Account without the least Mortification. 

In the midst of all this Happiness, and when I looked upon myself to be 
fully settled for Life, my Master sent for me one Morning a little earlier 
than his usual Hour. I observed by his Countenance that he was in some 
Perplexity, and at a Loss how to begin what he had to speak. After a short 
Silence, He told me he did not know how I would take what he was going 
to say; that in the last general Assembly, when the Affair of the Yahoos 
was entered upon, the Representatives had taken offence at his keeping a 
Yahoo (meaning myself) in his Family more like a Houyhnhnm, than a 
Brute Animal. That he was known frequently to converse with me, as if he 
could receive some Advantage or Pleasure in my Company: That such a 
Practice was not agreeable to Reason or Nature, nor a Thing ever heard of 
before among them. The Assembly did therefore exhort him, either to 
employ me like the rest of my Species, or command me to swim back to 
the Place from where I came. That the first of these Expedients was utterly 
rejected by all theHouyhnhnms, who had ever seen me at his House or their 
own: For they alledged, That because I had some Rudiments of Reason, 
added to the natural Pravity of those Animals, it was to be feared, I might 
be able to seduce them into the woody and mountainous Parts of the 
Country, and bring them in Troops by Night to destroy the Houyhnhnms 
Cattle, as being naturally of the ravenous Kind, and averse from Labour. 

My Master added, That he was daily pressed by theHouyhnhnms of the 
Neighbourhood to have the Assembly's Exhortation executed, which he 
could not put off much longer. He doubted it would be impossible for me 
to swim to another Country, and therefore wished I would contrive some 
sort of Vehicle resembling those I had described to him, that might carry 
me on the Sea; in which Work I should have the Assistance of his own 
Servants, as well as those of his Neighbours. He concluded, That for his 
own Part he could have been content to keep me in his Service as long as I 
lived, because he found I had cured myself of some bad Habits and 
Dispositions, by endeavouring, as far as my inferior Nature was capable, to 
imitate the Houyhnhnms. 

I should here observe to the Reader, That a Decree of the general 
Assembly in this Country, is expressed by the Word Hnhloayn, which 
signifies an Exhortation; as near as I can render it: For they have no 
Conception how a rational Creature can be compelled, but only advised or 
exhorted, because no Person can disobey Reason, without giving up his 
Claim to be a rational Creature. 

I was struck with the utmost Grief and Despair at my Master's Discourse, 
and being unable to support the Agonies I was under, I fell into a Swoon at 
his Feet; when I came to myself, he told me that he concluded I had been 
dead. (For these People are subject to no such Imbecilities of Nature). I 
answered, in a faint Voice, That Death would have been too great a 
Happiness; that although I could not blame the Assembly's Exhortation, or 
the Urgency of his Friends; yet, in my weak and corrupt Judgment, I 
thought it might consist with Reason to have been less rigorous. That I 
could not swim a League, and probably the nearest Land to theirs might be 
distant above an hundred: That many Materials, necessary for making a 
small Vessel to carry me off, were wholly wanting in this Country, which, 
however, I would attempt in Obedience and Gratitude to his Honour, 
although I concluded the Thing to be impossible, and therefore looked on 
my self as already devoted to Destruction. That the certain Prospect of 
unnatural Death, was the least of my Evils: For, supposing I should escape 
with Life by some strange Adventure, how could I think with Temper, of 
passing my Days among Yahoos, and relapsing into my old Corruptions, 
for want of Examples to lead and keep me within the Paths of Virtue. That 
I knew too well upon what solid Reasons all the Determinations of the wise 
Houyhnhnms were founded, not to be shaken by Arguments of mine, a 
miserable Yahoo; and therefore after presenting him with my humble 
Thanks for the Offer of his Servants Assistance in making a Vessel, and 
desiring a Reasonable Time for so difficult a Work, I told him I would 
endeavour to preserve a wretched Being; and if ever I returned to England, 
was not without Hopes of being useful to my own Species, by celebrating 
the Praises of the renowned Houyhnhnms, and proposing their Virtues to 
the Imitation of Mankind. 

My Master in a few Words made me a very gracious Reply, and allowed 
me the space of two Months to finish my Boat; and ordered the Sorrel Nag, 
my Fellow-Servant, (for so at this Distance I may presume to call him) to 
follow my Instructions, because I told my Master that his Help would be 
sufficient, and I knew he had a Tenderness for me. 

In his Company, my first Business was to go to that Part of the Coast, 
where my rebellious Crew had ordered me to be set on Shore. I got upon a 
Height, and looking on every side into the Sea, fancied I saw a small Island, 
towards the North-East: I took out my Pocket-glass, and could then clearly 
distinguish it about five Leagues off, as I computed; but it appeared to the 
Sorrel Nag to be only a blue Cloud: For, as he had no Conception of any 
Country beside his own, so he could not be as Expert in distinguishing 
remote Objects at Sea, as we who so much converse in that Element. 

After I had discovered this Island, I considered no farther; but resolved, it 
should, if possible, be the first Place of my Banishment, leaving the 
Consequence to Fortune. 

I returned Home, and consulting with the Sorrel Nag, we went into a Copse 
at some Distance, where I with my Knife, and he with a sharp Flint 
fastened very artificially, after their Manner, to a wooden Handle, cut 
down several Oak Wattles about the Thickness of a Walking-staff, and 
some larger Pieces. But I shall not trouble the Reader with a particular 
Description of my own Mechanicks; let it suffice to say, that in six Weeks 
time, with the Help of the Sorrel Nag, who performed the Parts that 
required most Labour, I finished a sort of Indian Canoo, but much larger, 
covering it with the Skins of Yahoos well stitched together, with hempen 
Threads of my own making. My Sail was likewise composed of the Skins of 
the same Animal; but I made use of the youngest I could get, the older 
being too tough and thick, and I likewise provided myself with four 
Paddles. I laid in a Stock of boiled Flesh, of Rabbets and Fowls, and took 
with me two Vessels, one filled with Milk and the other with Water. 

I tried my Canoo in a large Pond near my Master's House, and then 
corrected in it what was amiss; stopping all the Chinks with Yahoos 
Tallow, till I found it stanch, and able to bear me, and my Freight. And 
when it was as compleat as I could possibly make it, I had it drawn on a 
Carriage very gently by Yahoos, to the Seaside, under the Conduct of the 
Sorrel Nag, and another Servant. 

When all was ready, and the Day came for my Departure, I took Leave of 
my Master and Lady, and the whole Family, mine Eyes flowing with 
Tears, and my Heart quite sunk with Grief. But his Honour, out of 
Curiosity, and perhaps (if I may speak it without Vanity) partly out of 
Kindness, was determined to see me in my Canoo, and got several of his 
neighbouring Friends to accompany him. I was forced to wait above an 
Hour for the Tide, and then observing the Wind very fortunately bearing 
towards the Island, to which I intended to steer my Course, I took a second 
Leave of my Master: But as I was going to prostrate myself to kiss his 
Hoof, he did me the Honour to raise it gently to my Mouth. I am not 
ignorant how much I have been censured for mentioning this last 
Particular. For my Detractors are pleased to think it improbable, that so 
Illustrious a Person should descend to give so great a Mark of Distinction 
to a Creature so inferior as I. Neither have I forgot, how apt some 
Travellers are to boast of extraordinary Favours they have received. But if 
these Censurers were better acquainted with the noble and courteous 
Disposition of the Houyhnhnms, they would soon change their Opinion. 

I paid my respects to the rest of theHouyhnhnms in his Honour's Company; 
then getting into my Canoo, I pushed off from Shore. 

CHAPTER XI.

The Author's dangerous Voyage. He arrives at Hew-Holland, hoping to 
settle there. Is wounded with an Arrow by one the Natives. Is seized by 
Force into a Portugueze Ship. The great Civilities of the Captain. The 
Author arrives at England. 

I BEGAN this desperate Voyage on February 15, 1714/5, at 9 o'Clock in 
the Morning. The Wind was very favourable; however, I made use at first 
only of my Paddles; but considering I should soon be weary, and that the 
Wind might chop about, I ventured set up my little Sail; and thus with the 
help of the Tide, I went at the rate of a League and a half an Hour, as near 
as I could guess. My Master and his Friends continued on the Shoar, till I 
was almost out of sight; and I often heard the Sorrel Nag (who always 
loved me) crying out, Hnuy illa nyha majah Yahoo, Take care of thyself, 
gentle Yahoo. 

My Design was, if possible, to discover some small Island uninhabited, yet 
sufficient by my Labour to furnish me with the Necessaries of Life, which 
I would have thought a greater Happiness than to be first Minister in the 
politest Court of Europe; so horrible was the Idea I conceived of returning 
to live in the Society and under the Government of Yahoos. For in such a 
Solitude as I desired, I could at least enjoy my own Thoughts, and reflect 
with Delight on the Virtues of those inimitable Houyhnhnms, without any 
Opportunity of degenerating into the Vices and Corruptions of my own 
Species. 

The Reader may remember what I related when my Crew conspired 
against me, and confined me to my Cabbin. How I continued there several 
Weeks, without knowing what Course we took, and when I was put a Shoar 
in the Long-boat, how the Sailors told me with Oaths, whether true or 
false, that not in what Part of the World we were. However, I did then 
believe us to be about ten Degrees Southward of the Cape of Good Hope, 
or about 45 Degrees Southern Latitude, as I gathered from some general 
Words I over-heard among them, being I supposed to the South-East in 
their intended Voyage to Madagascar. And although this were but little 
better than Conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my Course Eastward, hoping 
to reach the South-West Coast of New Holland, and perhaps some such 
Island as I desired, lying Westward of it. The Wind was full West, and by 
six in the Evening I computed I had gone Eastward at least eighteen 
Leagues, when I spied a very small Island about half a League off, which I 
soon reached. It was nothing but a Rock with one Creek, naturally arched 
by the Force of Tempests. Here I put in my Canoo, and climbing up a part 
of the Rock, I could plainly discover Land to the East, extending from 
South to North. I lay all Night in my Canoo, and repeating my Voyage 
early in the Morning, I arrived in seven Hours to the South East Point of 
New Holland. This confirmed me in the Opinion I have long entertained, 
that the Maps and Charts place this Country at least three Degrees more to 
the East than it really is; which thought I communicated many Years ago to 
my worthy Friend Mr. Herman Moll, and gave him my Reasons for it, 
although he hath rather chosen to follow other Authors. 

I saw no Inhabitants in the Place where I landed, and being unarmed, I was 
afraid of venturing far into the Country. I found some Shell-fish on the 
Shore, and eat them raw, not daring to kindle a Fire, for Fear of being 
discovered by the Natives. I continued three Days feeding on Oysters and 
Limpits, to save my own Provisions; and I fortunately found a Brook of 
excellent Water, which gave me great Relief. 

On the fourth Day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw twenty or 
thirty Natives upon a Height, not above five hundred Yards from me. They 
were stark naked, Men, Women, and Children round a Fire, as I could 
discover by the Smoak. One of them spied me, and gave notice to the rest; 
five of them advanced towards me leaving the Women and Children at the 
Fire. I made what haste I could to the Shore, and getting into my Canoo, 
shoved off: The Savages observing me retreat, ran after me; and before I 
could get far enough into the Sea, discharged an Arrow, which wounded 
me deeply on the inside of my left Knee (I shall carry the Mark to my 
Grave). I apprehended the Arrow might be poisoned, and paddling out of 
the reach of their Darts (being a calm Day) I made a shift to suck the 
Wound, and dress it as well as I could. 

I was at a Loss what to do, for I durst not return to the same Landing-
place, but stood to the North, and was forced to paddle; for the Wind 
though very gentle, was against me, blowing North-West. As I was looking 
about for a secure Landing-place, I saw a Sail to the North-North-East, 
which appearing every Minute more visible, I was in some Doubt whether 
I should wait for them, or no; but at last my Detestation of the Yahoo Race 
prevailed, and turning my Canoo, I sailed and paddled together to the 
South, and got into the same Creek from whence I set out in the Morning, 
choosing rather to trust myself among these Barbarians, than live with 
European Yahoos. I drew up my Canoo as close as I could to the Shore, 
and hid myself behind a Stone by the little Brook, which, as I have already 
said, was excellent Water. 

The Ship came within half a League of this Creek, and sent out her Long-
Boat with Vessels to take in fresh Water (for the Place it seems was very 
well known) but I did not observe it till the Boat was almost on Shore, and 
it was too late to seek another Hiding-place. The Seamen at their landing 
observed my Canoo, and rummaging it all over, easily conjectured that the 
Owner could not be far off. Four of them well-armed searched every 
Cranny and Lurking-hole, till at last they found me flat on my Face behind 
the Stone. They gazed a while in Admiration at my strange uncouth Dress, 
my Coat made of Skins, my wooden-soled Shoes, and my furred Stockings; 
from whence, however, they concluded I was not a Native of the Place, 
who all go naked. One of the Seamen in Portugueze bid me rise, and asked 
who I was. I understood that Language very well, and getting upon my 
Feet, said I was a poor Yahoo, banished from the Houyhnhnms, and desired 
they would please to let me depart. They admired to hear me answer them 
in their own Tongue, and saw by my Complextion I must be an European; 
but were at a Loss to know what I meant by Yahoos and Houyhnhnms, and 
at the same time fell a laughing at my strange Tone in speaking, which 
resembled the Neighing of a Horse. I trembled all the while betwixt Fear 
and Hatred: I again desired Leave to depart, and was gently moving to my 
Canoo; but they laid hold on me, desiring to know what Country I was of? 
whence I came? with many other Questions. I told them I was born in 
England, from whence I came about five Years ago, and then their Country 
and ours were at Peace. I therefore hoped they would not treat me as an 
Enemy, since I meant them no Harm, but was a poor Yahoo, seeking some 
desolate Place where to pass the remainder of his unfortunate Life. 

When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw any thing so 
unnatural; for it appeared to me as Dog or a Cow should speak in England, 
or a Yahoo in Houyhnhnm-land The honest Portugueze were equally 
amazed at my strange Dress, and the odd Manner of delivering my Words, 
which however they understood very well. They spoke to me with great 
Humanity, and said they were sure the Captain would carry me gratis to 
Lisbon, from whence I might return to my own Country; that two of the 
Seamen would go back to the Ship, inform the Captain of what they had 
seen, and receive his Orders; in the mean time, unless I would give my 
solemn Oath not to fly, they would secure me by Force. I thought it best to 
comply with their Proposal. They were very curious to know my Story, 
but I gave them very little Satisfaction; and they all conjectured my 
Misfortunes had impaired my Reason. In two Hours the Boat, which went 
loaden with Vessels of Water, returned with the Captain's Command to 
fetch me on Board. I fell on my Knees to preserve my Liberty; but all was 
in vain, and the Men having tied me with Cords, heaved me into the Boat, 
from whence I was taken into the Ship, and from thence into the Captain's 
Cabbin. 

His Name was Pedro de Mendez, he was a very courteous and generous 
Person; he entreated me to give some Account of myself, and desired to 
know what I would eat or drink; said I should be used as well as himself, 
and spoke so many obliging things, that I wondered to find such Civilities 
from a Yahoo. However, I remained silent and sullen; I was ready to faint 
at the very Smell of him and his Men. At last I desired something to eat out 
of my own Canoo; but he ordered me a Chicken and some excellent Wine, 
and then directed that I should be put to Bed in a very clean Cabbin. I 
would not undress myself, but lay on the Bed-cloaths, and in half an Hour 
stole out, when I thought the Crew was at Dinner, and getting to the side of 
the Ship was going to leap into the Sea, and swim for my Life, rather than 
continue among Yahoos. But one of the Seamen prevented me, and having 
informed the Captain, I was chained to my Cabbin. 

After Dinner Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my Reason for 
so desperate an Attempt; assured me he only meant to do me all the Service 
he was able, and spoke so very movingly, that at last I descended to treat 
him like an Animal which had some little portion of Reason. I gave him a 
very short Relation of my Voyage, of the Conspiracy against me by own 
Men, of the Country where they set me on Shore, and of my three Years 
Residence there. All which he looked upon as if it were a Dream or a 
Vision; whereat I took great Offence; for I had quite forgotten the Faculty 
of Lying, so peculiar to Yahoos in all Countries where they preside, and, 
consequently the Disposition of suspecting Truth in others of their own 
Species. I asked him, Whether it were the Custom in his Country to say the 
Thing that was not? I assured him I had almost forgotten what he meant by 
Falsehood, and if I had lived a thousand Years in Houyhnhnm-land, I 
should never have heard a Lye from the meanest Servant; that I was 
altogether indifferent whether he believed me or no; but however, in 
Return for his Favours, I would give so much Allowance to the Corruption 
of his Nature, as to answer any Objection he would please to make, and 
then he might easily discover the Truth. 

The Captain, a wise Man, after many Endeavours to catch me tripping in 
some Part of my Story, at last began to have a better Opinion of my 
Veractiy, and the rather because he confessed, he met with a Dutch 
Skipper, who pretended to have landed with Five others of his Crew upon a 
certain Island or Continent South of New-Holland, where they went for 
fresh Water, and observed a Horse driving before him several Animals 
exactly resembling those I described under the Name of Yahoos, with some 
other Particulars, which the Captain said he had forgotten; because he then 
concluded them all to be Lies. But he added, that since I professed so 
inviolable an Attachment to Truth, I must give him my Word of Honour to 
bear him company in this Voyage, without attempting any thing against my 
Life, or else he would continue me a Prisoner till we arrived at Lisbon. I 
gave him the Promise he required; but at the same time protested that I 
would suffer the greatest Hardships rather than return to live among 
Yahoos. 

Our Voyage passed without any considerable Accident. In Gratitude to the 
Captain I sometimes sate with him at his earnest Request, and strove to 
conceal my Antipathy to human Kind, although it often broke out, which 
he suffered to pass without Observation. But the greatest Part of the Day I 
confined myself to my Cabbin, to avoid seeing any of the Crew. The 
Captain had often entreated me to strip myself of my savage Dress, and 
offered to lend me the best Suit of Cloaths he had. This I would not be 
prevailed on to accept, abhorring to cover myself with any thing that had 
been on the Back of a Yahoo. I only desired he would lend me two clean 
shirts, which having been washed since he wore them, I believed would not 
so much defile me. These I changed every second Day, and washed them 
myself. 

We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715. At our landing the Captain forced me 
to cover myself with his Cloak, to prevent the Rabble from crouding about 
me. I was conveyed to his own House, and at my earnest Request, he led me 
up to the highest Room backwards. I conjured him to conceal from all 
Persons what I had told him of the Houyhnhnms, because the least Hint of 
such a Story would not only draw Numbers of People to see me, but 
probably, put me in Danger of being imprisoned, or burned by the 
Inquisition. The Captain persuaded me to accept a Suit of Cloaths newly 
made; but I would not suffer the Taylor to take my Measure; however, 
Don Pedro being almost of my Size, they fitted me well enough. He 
accoutred me with other Necessaries all new, which I aired for twenty-four 
Hours before I would use them. 

The Captain had no Wife, nor above three Servants, none of which were 
suffered to attend at Meals, and his whole deportment was so obliging, 
added to very good human Understanding, that I really began to tolerate 
his Company. He gained so far upon me, that I ventured to look out of the 
back Window. By Degrees I was brought into another Room, from whence 
I peeped into the Street, but drew my Head back in a Fright. In a Week's 
time he seduced me down to the Door. I found my Terror gradually 
lessened, but my Hatred and Contempt seemed to encrease. I was at last 
bold enough to walk the Street in his Company, but kept my Nose well 
stopped with Rue, or sometimes with Tobacco. 

In ten Days Don Pedro, to whom I had given some Account of my 
Domestick Affairs, put it upon me as a Matter of Honour and Conscience, 
that I ought to return to my native Country, and live at Home with my 
Wife and Children. He told me, there was an English Ship in Port just 
ready to sail, and he would furnish me with all things necessary. It would 
be tedious to repeat his Arguments, and my Contradictions. He said it was 
altogether impossible to find such a solitary Island as I had desired to live 
in; but I might command in my own House, and pass my time in a Manner 
as recluse as I pleased. 

I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon the 24th Day 
of November, in an English Merchant-Man, but who was the Master I 
never enquired. Don Pedro accompanied me to the Ship, and lent me 
Twenty Pounds. He took kind Leave of me, and embraced me at parting, 
which I bore as well as I could. During the last Voyage I had no Commerce 
with the Master or any of his Men; but pretending I was sick, kept close in 
my Cabbin. On the Fifth of December, 1715, we cast Anchor in the Downs 
about Nine in the Morning, and at Three in the Afternoon I got safe to my 
House at Rotherhith. 

My Wife and Family received me with great Surprise and Joy, because they 
concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely confess the sight of them 
filled me only with Hatred, Disgust, and Contempt, and the more by 
reflecting on the near Alliance I had to them. For, although since my 
unfortunate Exile from the Houyhnhnm Country, I had compelled myself 
to tolerate the Sight of Yahoos, and to converse with Don Pedro de 
Mendez; yet my Memory and Imagination were perpetually filled with the 
Virtues and Ideas of those exalted Houyhnhnms. And when I began to 
consider, that by copulating with one of the Yahoo Species I had become a 
Parent of more, it struck me with the utmost Shame, Confusion, and 
Horror. 

As soon as I entered the House, my Wife took me in her Arms, and kissed 
me, at which, having not been used to the Touch of that odious Animal for 
so many Years, I fell in a Swoon for almost an Hour. At the time I am 
writing it is Five Years since my last Return to England: During the first 
Year I could not endure my Wife or Children in my Presence, the very 
Smell of them was intolerable, much less could I suffer them to eat in the 
same Room. To this Hour they dare not presume to touch my Bread, or 
drink out of the same Cup, neither was I ever able to let one of them take 
me by the Hand. The first Money I laid out was to buy two young Stone-
Horses, which I keep in a good Stable, and next to them the Groom is my 
greatest Favourite; for I feel my Spirits revived by the Smell he contracts 
in the Stable. My Horses understand me tolerably well; I converse with 
them at least four Hours every Day. They are Strangers to Bridle or 
Saddle; they live in great Amity with me, and Friendship to each other. 

CHAPTER XII.

The Author's Veracity. His Design in publishing this Work. His Censure of 
those Travellers who swerve from the Truth. The Author clears himself of 
any sinister Ends in writing. An Objection Answered. The Method of 
planting Colonies. His Native Country commended. The Right of the 
Crown to those Countries described by the Author is justified. the 
Difficulty of conquering them. The Author takes his last leave of the 
Reader: proposeth his Manner of Living for the future, gives good Advice, 
and concludes. 

THUS, GENTLE READER, I have given thee a faithful History of my 
Travels for Sixteen Years, and above Seven Months; wherein I have not 
been so studious of Ornament as Truth. I could perhaps like others have 
astonished you with strange improbable Tales; but I rather chose to relate 
plain Matter of Fact in the simplest Manner and Style, because my principal 
Design was to Inform, and not to amuse thee. 

It is easy for us who travel into remote Countries, which are seldom visited 
by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form Descriptions of wonderful 
Animals both at Sea and Land. Whereas a Traveller's chief Aim should be 
to make Men wiser and better, and to improve their Minds by the bad as 
well as good Example of what they deliver concerning foreign Places. 

I could heartily wish a Law was enacted, that every Traveller before he 
were permitted to publish his Voyages, should be obliged to make Oath 
before the Lord High Chancellor that all he intended to print was 
absolutely true to the best of his Knowledge; for then the World would no 
longer be deceived as it usually is, while some Writers, to make their 
Works pass the better upon the Publick, impose the grossest Falsities on the 
unwary Reader. I have perused several Books of Travels with great Delight 
in my younger Days; but having since gone over most Parts of the Globe, 
and been able to contradict many fabulous Accounts from my own 
Observation, it hath given me a great Disgust against this Part of Reading, 
and some Indignation to see the Credulity of Mankind so impudently 
abused. Therefore since my Acquaintances were pleased to think my poor 
Endeavours might not be unacceptable to my Country, I imposed on myself 
as a Maxim, never to be swerved from, that I would strictly adhere to 
Truth; neither indeed can I be ever under the least temptation to vary from 
it, while I retain in my Mind the Lectures and Example of my Noble 
Master, and the other Illustrious Houyhnhnms, of whom I had so long the 
Honour to be a humble Bearer. 

     ---Nec si miserum Fortuna Sinonem      Finxit, vanum etiam, 
mendacemque improba finget. 

I know very well how little Reputation is to be got by Writings which 
require neither Genius nor Learning, nor indeed any other Talent, except a 
good Memory, or an exact Journal. I know likewise, the Writers of 
Travels, like Dictionary-Makers, are sunk into Oblivion by the Weight and 
Bulk of those who come after, and therefor lie uppermost. And it is highly 
probable, that such Travellers who shall hereafter visit the Countries 
described in this Work of mine, may, by detecting my Errors, (if there be 
any) and adding many new Discoveries of their own, justle me out of 
Vogue, and stand in my Place, making the World forget that I was ever an 
Author. This indeed would be too great a Mortification if I wrote for 
Fame: But, as my sole Intention was the PUBLICK GOOD, I cannot be 
altogether disappointed. For who can read of the Virtues I have mentioned 
in the Glorious Houyhnhnms, without being ashamed of his own Vices, 
when he considers himself as the reasoning, governing Animal of his 
Country? I shall say nothing of those remote Nations where Yahoos preside 
amongst which the least corrupted are the Brobdingnagians, whose wise 
Maxims in Morality and Government, it would be our Happiness to 
observe. But I forbear descanting farther, and rather leave the Judicious 
Reader to his own Remarks and Applications. 

I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet with no 
Censurers: For what Objections can be made against a Writer who relates 
only plain Facts that happened in such distant Countries, where we have not 
the least Interest with respect either to Trade or Negotiations? I have 
carefully avoided every Fault with which common Writers of Travels are 
often too justly charged. Besides, I meddle not with any Party, but write 
without Passion, Prejudice, or Ill-will against any Man or number of Men 
whatsoever. I write for the noblest End, to inform and instruct Mankind, 
over whom I may, without Breach of Modesty, pretend to some 
Superiority from the Advantages I received by conversing so long among 
the most accomplished Houyhnhnms. I write without any View towards 
Profit or Praise. I never suffer a Word to pass that may look like 
Reflection, or possibly give the least Offence even to those who are most 
ready to take it. So that I hope I may with Justice pronounce myself an 
Author perfectly blameless, against whom the Tribes of Answerers, 
Considerers, Observers, Reflecters, Detecters, Remarkers will never be 
able to find matter for exercising their Talents. 

I confess, it was whispered to me, that I was bound in Duty as a Subject of 
England, to have given in a Memorial to a Secretary of State at my first 
coming over; because whatever Lands are discovered by a Subject, belong 
to the Crown. But I doubt whether our Conquests in the Countries I treat 
of, would be as easy as those of Ferdinando Cortez over the naked 
Americans. The Lilliputians I think are hardly worth the Charge of a Fleet 
and Army to reduce them, and I question whether it might be prudent or 
safe to attempt the Brobdingnagians. Or whether an English Army would 
be much at their Ease with the Flying Island over their Heads. The 
Houyhnhnms, indeed, appear not to be so well prepared for War, a Science 
to which they are perfect Strangers, and especially against missive 
weapons. However, supposing myself to be a Minister of State, I could 
never give my Advice for invading them. Their Prudence, Unanimity, 
Unacquaintedness with Fear, and their Love of their Country would amply 
supply all Defects in the Military Art. Imagine Twenty thousand of them 
breaking into the midst of an European Army, confounding the Ranks, 
overturning the Carriages, battering the Warriors' Faces into Mummy, by 
terrible Yerks from their hinder Hoofs. For they would well deserve the 
Character given to Augustus; Recalcitrat undique tutus. But instead of 
Proposals for conquering that magnanimous Nation, I rather wish they 
were in a Capacity or Disposition to send a sufficient Number of their 
Inhabitants for civilizing Europe, by teaching us the first Principles of 
Honour, Truth, Temperance, Publick Spirit, Fortitude, Chastity, 
Benevolence, and Fidelity. The Names of all which Virtues are still 
retained among us in Languages, and are to be met with in modern as well 
as ancient Authors, which I am able to assert from my own small Reading. 

But I had another Reason which made me less forward to enlarge his 
Majesty's Dominions by my Discovery. To say the Truth, I had conceived a 
few Scruples with Relation to the Distributive Justice of Princes upon those 
Occasions. For instance, A Crew of Pyrates are driven by a Storm they 
know not whither, at length a boy discovers Land from the Top-mast, they 
go on Shore to Rob and Plunder; they see an harmless People, are 
entertained with Kindness, they give the Country a new Name, they take 
formal Possession of it for their King, they set up a rotten Plank or a Stone 
for a Memorial, they murder two or three Dozen of the Natives, bring 
away a couple more by Force for a Sample, return Home, and get their 
Pardon. Here commences a new Dominion acquired with a Title by Divine 
Right. Ships are sent with the first Opportunity, the Natives driven out or 
destroyed, their Princes tortured to discover their Gold; a free Licence 
given to all Acts of Inhumanity and Lust, the Earth reeking with the Blood 
of its Inhabitants: And this execrable Crew of Butchers employed in so 
pious an Expedition, is a modern Colony sent to convert and civilize an 
idolatrous and barbarous People. 

But this Description, I confess, doth by no Means affect the British Nation, 
who may be an Example to the whole World for their Wisdom, Care, and 
Justice in Planting Colonies; their liberal Endowments for the 
Advancement of Religion and Learning; their Choice of devout and able 
Pastors to propagate Christianity, their Caution in stocking their Provinces 
with People of sober Lives and Conversations from this the Mother 
Kingdom; their strict regard to the Distribution of Justice in supplying the 
Civil Administration through all their Colonies with Officers of the 
greatest Abilities, utter Strangers to Corruption; and to crown all, by 
sending the most Vigilant and Virtuous Governors, who have no other 
Views than the Happiness of the People over whom they preside, and the 
Honour of the King their Master. 

But, as those Countries which I have described do not appear to have any 
Desire of being conquered, and enslaved, murdered or driven out by 
Colonies, nor abound either in Gold, Silver, Sugar, or Tobacco; I did 
humbly conceive they were by no Means proper Objects of our Zeal, our 
Valour, or our Interest. However, if those whom it may concern, think fit 
to be of another Opinion, I am ready to depose, when I shall be lawfully 
called, That no European did ever visit these Countries before me. I mean, 
if the Inhabitants ought to be believed; unless a dispute may arise about the 
two Yahoos, said to have been seen many Ages ago on a Mountain in 
Houyhnhnm-land, from whence the Opinion is, that the Race of those 
Brutes hath descended; and these, for anything I know, may have been 
English, which indeed I was apt to suspect from the Lineaments of their 
Posterity's Countenances, although very much defaced. But, how far that 
will go to make out a Title, I leave to the Learned in Colony-Law. 

But as to the Formality of taking Possession in my Sovereign's Name, it 
never came once into my Thoughts; and if it had, yet as my Affairs then 
stood, I should perhaps in point of Prudence and Self-preservation have put 
it off to a better Opportunity. 

Having thus answered the only Objection that can ever be raised against me 
as a Traveller, I here take a final Leave of all my Courteous Readers, and 
return to enjoy my own Speculations in my little Garden at Redriff, to 
apply those excellent Lessons of Virtue which I learned among the 
Houyhnhnms, to instruct the Yahoos of my own Family as far as I shall 
find them docile Animals; to behold my Figure often in a Glass, and thus if 
possible habituate myself by time to tolerate the sight of a human Creature: 
To lament the Brutality of Houyhnhnms in my own Country, but always 
treat their Persons with respect, for the sake of my noble Master, his 
Family, his Friends, and the whole Houyhnhnm Race, whom these ours 
have the Honour to resemble in all their Lineaments, however their 
Intellectuals came to degenerate. 

I began last Week to permit my Wife to sit at Dinner with me, at the 
farthest End of a long Table, and to answer (but with the utmost Brevity) 
the few Questions I ask'd her. Yet the Smell of a Yahoo continuing very 
offensive, I always keep my Nose well stopt with Rue, Lavender, or 
Tobacco-leaves. And although it be hard for a Man late in Life to remove 
old Habits, I am not altogether out of Hopes in some time to suffer a 
Neighbour Yahoo in my Company without the Apprehensions I am yet 
under of his Teeth or his Claws. 

My Reconcilement to the Yahoo-kind in general might not be so difficult if 
they would be content with those Vices and Follies only, which Nature has 
entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at the Sight of a Lawyer, a 
Pick-pocket, a Colonel, a Fool, a Lord, a Gamester, a Politician, a Whore-
Master, a Physician, an Evidence, a Suborner, an Attorney, a Traitor, or 
the like: This is all according to the due Course of Things: But when I 
behold a Lump of Deformity, and Diseases both in Body and Mind, smitten 
with Pride, it immediately breaks all the Measures of my Patience; neither 
shall I be ever able to comprehend how such an Animal and such a Vice 
could tally together. The wise and virtuous Houyhnhnms, who abound in 
all Excellencies that can adorn a Rational Creature, have no Name for this 
Vice in their Language, which has no Terms to express anything that is 
Evil, except those whereby they describe the detestable Qualities of their 
Yahoos, among which they were not able to distinguish this of Pride, for 
want of thoroughly understanding Human Nature, as it sheweth itself in 
other Countries, where that Animal presides. But I, who had more 
Experience, could plainly observe some Rudiments of it among the wild 
Yahoos. 

But the Houyhnhnms, who live under the Government of Reason, are no 
more proud of the good Qualities they possess, than I should be for not 
wanting a Leg or an Arm, which no Man in his Wits would boast of, 
although he must be miserable without them. I dwell the longer upon this 
Subject from the Desire I have to make the Society of an English Yahoo by 
any Means not insupportable, and therefore I here entreat those who have 
any Tincture of this absurd Vice, that they will not presume to come in my 
sight. 

FINIS.