11797 lines
699 KiB
Plaintext
11797 lines
699 KiB
Plaintext
[obi/Joseph.Conrad/lord.jim.txt]
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Joseph Conrad: Lord Jim
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AUTHOR'S NOTE
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When this novel first appeared in book form a notion got about
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that I had been bolted away with. Some reviewers maintained that
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the work starting as a short story had got beyond the writer's con-
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trol. One or two discovered internal evidence of the fact, which
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seemed to amuse them. They pointed out the limitations of the
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narrative form. They argued that no man could have been expected
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to talk all that time, and other men to listen so long. It was not,
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they said, very credible.
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After thinking it over for something like sixteen years, I am not
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so sure about that. Men have been known, both in the tropics and
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in the temperate zone, to sit up half the night 'swapping yarns'.
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This, however, is but one yarn, yet with interruptions affording
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some measure of relief; and in regard to the listeners' endurance,
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the postulate must be accepted that the story was interesting. It is
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the necessary preliminary assumption. If I hadn't believed that it
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was interesting I could never have begun to write it. As to the mere
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physical possibility we all know that some speeches in Parliament
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have taken nearer six than three hours in delivery; whereas all that
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part of the book which is Marlow's narrative can be read through
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aloud, I should say, in less than three hours. Besides -- though I
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have kept strictly all such insignificant details out of the tale -- we
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may presume that there must have been refreshments on that night,
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a glass of mineral water of some sort to help the narrator on.
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But, seriously, the truth of the matter is, that my first thought
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was of a short story, concerned only with the pilgrim ship episode;
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nothing more. And that was a legitimate conception. After writing
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a few pages, however, I became for some reason discontented and
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I laid them aside for a time. I didn't take them out of the drawer till
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the late Mr. William Blackwood suggested I should give something
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again to his magazine.
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It was only then that I perceived that the pilgrim ship episode
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was a good starting-point for a free and wandering tale; that it was
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an event, too, which could conceivably colour the whole 'sentiment
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of existence' in a simple and sensitive character. But all these pre-
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liminary moods and stirrings of spirit were rather obscure at the
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time, and they do not appear clearer to me now after the lapse of so
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many years.
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The few pages I had laid aside were not without their weight in
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the choice of subject. But the whole was re-written deliberately.
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When I sat down to it I knew it would be a long book, though I
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didn't foresee that it would spread itsetlf over thirteen numbers of
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'Maga'.
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I have been asked at times whether this was not the book of mine
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I liked best. I am a great foe to favouritism in public life, in private
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life, and even in the delicate relationsbip of an author to his works.
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As a matter of principle I will have no favourites; but I don't go so
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far as to feel grieved and annoyed by the preference some people
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give to my Lord Jim. I won't even say that I 'fail to understand . . .'
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No! But once I had occasion to be puzzled and surprised.
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A friend of mine returning from Italy had talked with a lady there
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who did not like the book. I regretted that, of course, but what
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surprised me was the ground of her dlslike. 'You know,' she said,
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'it is all so morbid.'
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The pronouncement gave me food for an hour's anxious thought.
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Finally I arrived at the conclusion that, making due allowances for
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the subject itself being rather foreign to women's normal sensibili-
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ties, the lady could not have been an Italian. I wonder whether she
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was European at all? In any case, no Latin temperament would
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have perceived anything morbid in the acute consciousness of lost
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honour. Such a consciousness may be wrong, or it may be right, or
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it may be condemned as artificial; and, perhaps, my Jim is not a
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type of wide commonness. But I can safely assure my readers that
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he is not the product of coldly perverted thinking. He's not a figure
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of Northern Mists either. One sunny morning, in the commonplace
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surroundings of an Eastern roadstead, I saw his form pass by -
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appealing - significant - under a cloud - perfectly silent. Which is
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as it should be. It was for me, with all the sympathy of which I was
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capable, to seek fit words for his meaning. He was 'one of us'.
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J.C.
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1917.
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LORD JIM
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CHAPTER 1
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He was an inch, perhaps two, under six feet, powerfully built, and
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he advanced straight at you with a slight stoop of the shoulders,
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head forward, and a fixed from-under stare which made you think
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of a charging bull. His voice was deep, loud, and his manner dis-
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played a kind of dogged self-assertion which had nothing aggressive
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in it. It seemed a necessity, and it was directed apparently as much
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at himself as at anybody else. He was spotlessly neat, apparelled in
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immaculate white from shoes to hat, and in the various Eastern
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ports where he got his living as ship-chandler's water-clerk he was
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very popular.
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A water-clerk need not pass an examination in anything under
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the sun, but he must have Ability in the abstract and demonstrate
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it practically. His work consists in racing under sail, steam, or oars
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against other water-clerks for any ship about to anchor, greeting
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her captain cheerily, forcing upon him a card -- the business card
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of the ship-chandler -- and on his first visit on shore piloting him
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firmly but without ostentation to a vast, cavern-like shop which is
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full of things that are eaten and drunk on board ship; where you
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can get everything to make her seaworthy and beautiful, from a set
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of chain-hooks for her cable to a book of gold-leaf for the carvings
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of her stern; and where her commander is received like a brother
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by a ship-chandler he has never seen before. There is a cool parlour,
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easy-chairs, bottles, cigars, writing implements, a copy of harbour
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regulations, and a warmth of welcome that melts the salt of a three
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months' passage out of a seaman's heart. The connection thus begun
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is kept up, as long as the ship remains in harbour, by the daily visits
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of the water-clerk. To the captain he is faithful like a friend and
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attentive like a son, with the patience of Job, the unselfish devotion
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of a woman, and the jollity of a boon companion. Later on the bill
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is sent in. It is a beautiful and humane occupation. Therefore good
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water-clerks are scarce. When a water-clerk who possesses Ability
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in the abstract has also the advantage of having been brought up
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to the sea, he is worth to his employer a lot of money and some
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humouring. Jim had always good wages and as much humouring
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as would have bought the fidelity of a fiend. Nevertheless, with
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black ingratitude he would throw up the job suddenly and depart.
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To his employers the reasons he gave were obviously inadequate.
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They said 'Confounded fool!' as soon as his back was turned. This
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was their criticism on his exquisite sensibility.
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To the white men in the waterside business and to the captains
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of ships he was just Jim -- nothing more. He had, of course, another
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name, but he was anxious that it should not be pronounced. His
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incognito, which had as many holes as a sieve, was not meant to
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hide a personality but a fact. When the fact broke through the
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incognito he would leave suddenly the seaport where he happened
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to be at the time and go to another -- generally farther east. He kept
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to seaports because he was a seaman in exile from the sea, and had
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Ability in the abstract, which is good for no other work but that of
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a water-clerk. He retreated in good order towards the rising sun,
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and the fact followed him casually but inevitably. Thus in the course
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of years he was known successively in Bombay, in Calcutta, in
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Rangoon, in Penang, in Batavia -- and in each of these halting-
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places was just Jim the water-clerk. Afterwards, when his keen
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perception of the Intolerable drove him away for good from seaports
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and white men, even into the virgin forest, the Malays of the jungle
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village, where he had elected to conceal his deplorable faculty,
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added a word to the monosyllable of his incognito. They called him
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Tuan Jim: as one might say -- Lord Jim.
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Originally he came from a parsonage. Many commanders of fine
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merchant-ships come from these abodes of piety and peace. Jim's
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father possessed such certain knowledge of the Unknowable as
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made for the righteousness of people in cottages without disturbing
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the ease of mind of those whom an unerring Providence enables to
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live in mansions. The little church on a hill had the mossy greyness
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of a rock seen through a ragged screen of leaves. It had stood there
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for centuries, but the trees around probably remembered the laying
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of the first stone. Below, the red front of the rectory gleamed with
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a warm tint in the midst of grass-plots, flower-beds, and fir-trees,
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with an orchard at the back, a paved stable-yard to the left, and the
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sloping glass of greenhouses tacked along a wall of bricks. The
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living had belonged to the family for generations; but Jim was one
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of five sons, and when after a course of light holiday literature his
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vocation for the sea had declared itself, he was sent at once to a
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'training-ship for officers of the mercantile marine.'
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He learned there a little trigonometry and how to cross top-gallant
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yards. He was generally liked. He had the third place in navigation
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and pulled stroke in the first cutter. Having a steady head with an
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excellent physique, he was very smart aloft. His station was in the
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fore-top, and often from there he looked down, with the contempt
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of a man destined to shine in the midst of dangers, at the peaceful
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multitude of roofs cut in two by the brown tide of the stream,
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while scattered on the outskirts of the surrounding plain the factory
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chimneys rose perpendicular against a grimy sky, each slender like
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a pencil, and belching out smoke like a volcano. He could see the
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big ships departing, the broad-beamed ferries constantly on the
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move, the little boats floating far below his feet, with the hazy
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splendour of the sea in the distance, and the hope of a stirring life
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in the world of adventure.
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On the lower deck in the babel of two hundred voices he would
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forget himself, and beforehand live in his mind the sea-life of light
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literature. He saw himself saving people from sinking ships, cutting
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away masts in a hurricane, swimming through a surf with a line;
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or as a lonely castaway, barefooted and half naked, walking on
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uncovered reefs in search of shellfish to stave off starvation. He
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confronted savages on tropical shores, quelled mutinies on the high
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seas, and in a small boat upon the ocean kept up the hearts of
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despairing men -- always an example of devotion to duty, and as
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unflinching as a hero in a book.
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'Something's up. Come along.'
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He leaped to his feet. The boys were streaming up the ladders.
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Above could be heard a great scurrying about and shouting, and
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when he got through the hatchway he stood still -- as if confounded.
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It was the dusk of a winter's day. The gale had freshened since
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noon, stopping the traffic on the river, and now blew with the
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strength of a hurricane in fitful bursts that boomed like salvoes of
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great guns firing over the ocean. The rain slanted in sheets that
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flicked and subsided, and between whiles Jim had threatening
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glimpses of the tumbling tide, the small craft jumbled and tossing
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along the shore, the motionless buildings in the driving mist, the
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broad ferry-boats pitching ponderously at anchor, the vast landing-
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stages heaving up and down and smothered in sprays. The next
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gust seemed to blow all this away. The air was full of flying water.
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There was a fierce purpose in the gale, a furious earnestness in the
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screech of the wind, in the brutal tumult of earth and sky, that
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seemed directed at him, and made him hold his breath in awe. He
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stood still. It seemed to him he was whirled around.
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He was jostled. 'Man the cutter!' Boys rushed past him. A coaster
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running in for shelter had crashed through a schooner at anchor,
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and one of the ship's instructors had seen the accident. A mob of
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boys clambered on the rails, clustered round the davits. 'Collision.
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Just ahead of us. Mr Symons saw it.' A push made him stagger
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against the mizzen-mast, and he caught hold of a rope. The old
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training-ship chained to her moorings quivered all over, bowing
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gently head to wind, and with her scanty rigging humming in a
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deep bass the breathless song of her youth at sea. 'Lower away!' He
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saw the boat, manned, drop swiftly below the rail, and rushed after
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her. He heard a splash. 'Let go; clear the falls!' He leaned over.
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The river alongside seethed in frothy streaks. The cutter could be
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seen in the falling darkness under the spell of tide and wind, that
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for a moment held her bound, and tossing abreast of the ship. A
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yelling voice in her reached him faintly: 'Keep stroke, you young
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whelps, if you want to save anybody! Keep stroke!' And suddenly
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she lifted high her bow, and, leaping with raised oars over a wave,
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broke the spell cast upon her by the wind and tide.
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Jim felt his shoulder gripped firmly. 'Too late, youngster.' The
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captain of the ship laid a restraining hand on that boy, who seemed
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on the point of leaping overboard, and Jim looked up with the pain
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of conscious defeat in his eyes. The captain smiled sympathetically.
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'Better luck next time. This will teach you to be smart.'
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A shrill cheer greeted the cutter. She came dancing back half full
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of water, and with two exhausted men washing about on her bottom
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boards. The tumult and the menace of wind and sea now appeared
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very contemptible to Jim, increasing the regret of his awe at their
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inefficient menace. Now he knew what to think of it. It seemed to
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him he cared nothing for the gale. He could affront greater perils.
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He would do so -- better than anybody. Not a particle of fear was
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left. Nevertheless he brooded apart that evening while the bowman
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of the cutter -- a boy with a face like a girl's and big grey eyes -- was
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the hero of the lower deck. Eager questioners crowded round him.
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He narrated: 'I just saw his head bobbing, and I dashed my boat-
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hook in the water. It caught in his breeches and I nearly went
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overboard, as I thought I would, only old Symons let go the tiller
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and grabbed my legs -- the boat nearly swamped. Old Symons is a
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fine old chap. l don't mind a bit him being grumpy with us. He
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swore at me all the time he held my leg, but that was only his way
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of telling me to stick to the boat-hook. Old Symons is awfully
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excitable -- isn't he? No -- not the little fair chap -- the other, the big
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one with a beard. When we pulled him in he groaned, "Oh, my leg!
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oh, my leg!" and turned up his eyes. Fancy such a big chap fainting
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like a girl. Would any of you fellows faint for a jab with a boat-
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hook? -- I wouldn't. It went into his leg so far.' He showed the boat-
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hook, which he had carried below for the purpose, and produced a
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sensation. 'No, silly! It was not his flesh that held him -- his breeches
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did. Lots of blood, of course.'
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Jim thought it a pitiful display of vanity. The gale had ministered
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to a heroism as spurious as its own pretence of terror. He felt angry
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with the brutal tumult of earth and sky for taking him unawares
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and checking unfairly a generous readiness for narrow escapes.
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Otherwise he was rather glad he had not gone into the cutter, since
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a lower achievement had served the turn. He had enlarged his
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knowledge more than those who had done the work. When all men
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flinched, then -- he felt sure -- he alone would know how to deal
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with the spurious menace of wind and seas. He knew what to think
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of it. Seen dispassionately, it seemed contemptible. He could detect
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no trace of emotion in himself, and the final effect of a staggering
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event was that, unnoticed and apart from the noisy crowd of boys,
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he exulted with fresh certitude in his avidity for adventure, and in
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a sense of many-sided courage.
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CHAPTER 2
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After two years of training he went to sea, and entering the
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regions so well known to his imagination, found them strangely
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barren of adventure. He made many voyages. He knew the magic
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monotony of existence between sky and water: he had to bear the
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criticism of men, the exactions of the sea, and the prosaic severity
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of the daily task that gives bread -- but whose only reward is in the
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perfect love of the work. This reward eluded him. Yet he could not
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go back, because there is nothing more enticing, disenchanting,
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and enslaving than the life at sea. Besides, his prospects were good.
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He was gentlemanly, steady, tractable, with a thorough knowledge
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of his duties; and in time, when yet very young, he became chief
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mate of a fine ship, without ever having been tested by those events
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of the sea that show in the light of day the inner worth of a man,
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the edge of his temper, and the fibre of his stuff; that reveal the
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quality of his resistance and the secret truth of his pretences, not
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only to others but also to himself.
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Only once in all that time he had again a glimpse of the earnest-
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ness in the anger of the sea. That truth is not so often made apparent
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as people might think. There are many shades in the danger of
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adventures and gales, and it is only now and then that there appears
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on the face of facts a sinister violence of intention -- that indefinable
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something which forces it upon the mind and the heart of a man,
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that this complication of accidents or these elemental furies are
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coming at him with a purpose of malice, with a strength beyond
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control, with an unbridled cruelty that means to tear out of him his
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hope and his fear, the pain of his fatigue and his longing for rest:
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which means to smash, to destroy, to annihilate all he has seen,
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known, loved, enjoyed, or hated; all that is priceless and necessary --
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the sunshine, the memories, the future; which means to sweep the
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whole precious world utterly away from his sight by the simple and
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appalling act of taking his life.
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Jim, disabled by a falling spar at the beginning of a week of which
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his Scottish captain used to say afterwards, 'Man! it's a pairfect
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meeracle to me how she lived through it!' spent many days stretched
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on his back, dazed, battered, hopeless, and tormented as if at the
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bottom of an abyss of unrest. He did not care what the end would
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be, and in his lucid moments overvalued his indifference. The
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danger, when not seen, has the imperfect vagueness of human
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thought. The fear grows shadowy; and Imagination, the enemy of
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men, the father of all terrors, unstimulated, sinks to rest in the
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dullness of exhausted emotion. Jim saw nothing but the disorder of
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his tossed cabin. He lay there battened down in the midst of a small
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devastation, and felt secretly glad he had not to go on deck. But
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now and again an uncontrollable rush of anguish would grip him
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bodily, make him gasp and writhe under the blankets, and then the
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unintelligent brutality of an existence liable to the agony of such
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sensations filled him with a despairing desire to escape at any cost.
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Then fine weather returned, and he thought no more about It.
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His lameness, however, persisted, and when the ship arrived at
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an Eastern port he had to go to the hospital. His recovery was slow,
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and he was left behind.
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There were only two other patients in the white men's ward: the
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purser of a gunboat, who had broken his leg falling down a hatch-
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way; and a kind of railway contractor from a neighbouring province,
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afflicted by some mysterious tropical disease, who held the doctor
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for an ass, and indulged in secret debaucheries of patent medicine
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which his Tamil servant used to smuggle in with unwearied devo-
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tion. They told each other the story of their lives, played cards a
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little, or, yawning and in pyjamas, lounged through the day in easy-
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chairs without saying a word. The hospital stood on a hill, and a
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gentle breeze entering through the windows, always flung wide
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open, brought into the bare room the softness of the sky, the languor
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of the earth, the bewitching breath of the Eastern waters. There
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were perfumes in it, suggestions of infinite repose, the gift of endless
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dreams. Jim looked every day over the thickets of gardens, beyond
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the roofs of the town, over the fronds of palms growing on the
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shore, at that roadstead which is a thoroughfare to the East, -- at
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the roadstead dotted by garlanded islets, lighted by festal sunshine,
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its ships like toys, its brilliant activity resembling a holiday pageant,
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with the eternal serenity of the Eastern sky overhead and the smiling
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peace of the Eastern seas possessing the space as far as the horizon.
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Directly he could walk without a stick, he descended into the
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town to look for some opportunity to get home. Nothing offered
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just then, and, while waiting, he associated naturally with the men
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of his calling in the port. These were of two kinds. Some, very few
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and seen there but seldom, led mysterious lives, had preserved an
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undefaced energy with the temper of buccaneers and the eyes of
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dreamers. They appeared to live in a crazy maze of plans, hopes,
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dangers, enterprises, ahead of civilisation, in the dark places of the
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sea; and their death was the only event of their fantastic existence
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that seemed to have a reasonable certitude of achievement. The
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majority were men who, like himself, thrown there by some acci-
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dent, had remained as officers of country ships. They had now a
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horror of the home service, with its harder conditions, severer view
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of duty, and the hazard of stormy oceans. They were attuned to the
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eternal peace of Eastern sky and sea. They loved short passages,
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good deck-chairs, large native crews, and the distinction of being
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white. They shuddered at the thought of hard work, and led precari-
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ously easy lives, always on the verge of dismissal, always on the
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verge of engagement, serving Chinamen, Arabs, half-castes -- would
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have served the devil himself had he made it easy enough. They
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talked everlastingly of turns of luck: how So-and-so got charge of a
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boat on the coast of China -- a soft thing; how this one had an
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easy billet in Japan somewhere, and that one was doing well in the
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Siamese navy; and in all they said -- in their actions, in their looks,
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in their persons -- could be detected the soft spot, the place of decay,
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the determination to lounge safely through existence.
|
|
|
|
To Jim that gossiping crowd, viewed as seamen, seemed at first
|
|
more unsubstantial than so many shadows. But at length he found
|
|
a fascination in the sight of those men, in their appearance of doing
|
|
so well on such a small allowance of danger and toil. In time, beside
|
|
the original disdain there grew up slowly another sentiment; and
|
|
suddenly, giving up the idea of going home, he took a berth as chief
|
|
mate of the Patna.
|
|
|
|
The Patna was a local steamer as old as the hills, lean like a
|
|
greyhound, and eaten up with rust worse than a condemned water-
|
|
tank. She was owned by a Chinaman, chartered by an Arab, and
|
|
commanded by a sort of renegade New South Wales German, very
|
|
anxious to curse publicly his native country, but who, apparently
|
|
on the strength of Bismarck's victorious policy, brutalised all those
|
|
he was not afraid of, and wore a 'blood-and-iron' air,' combined
|
|
with a purple nose and a red moustache. After she had been painted
|
|
outside and whitewashed inside, eight hundred pilgrims (more or
|
|
less) were driven on board of her as she lay with steam up alongside
|
|
a wooden jetty.
|
|
|
|
They streamed aboard over three gangways, they streamed in
|
|
urged by faith and the hope of paradise, they streamed in with a
|
|
continuous tramp and shuffle of bare feet, without a word, a mur-
|
|
mur, or a look back; and when clear of confining rails spread on all
|
|
sides over the deck, flowed forward and aft, overflowed down the
|
|
yawning hatchways, filled the inner recesses of the ship -- like water
|
|
filling a cistern, like water flowing into crevices and crannies, like
|
|
water rising silently even with the rim. Eight hundred men and
|
|
women with faith and hopes, with affections and memories, they
|
|
had collected there, coming from north and south and from the
|
|
outskirts of the East, after treading the jungle paths, descending
|
|
the rivers, coasting in praus along the shallows, crossing in small
|
|
canoes from island to island, passing through suffering, meeting
|
|
strange sights, beset by strange fears, upheld by one desire. They
|
|
came from solitary huts in the wilderness, from populous cam-
|
|
pongs, from villages by the sea. At the call of an idea they had left
|
|
their forests, their clearings, the protection of their rulers, their
|
|
prosperity, their poverty, the surroundings of their youth and the
|
|
graves of their fathers. They came covered with dust, with sweat,
|
|
with grime, with rags -- the strong men at the head of family parties,
|
|
the lean old men pressing forward without hope of return; young
|
|
boys with fearless eyes glancing curiously, shy little girls with tum-
|
|
bled long hair; the timid women muffled up and clasping to their
|
|
breasts, wrapped in loose ends of soiled head-cloths, their sleeping
|
|
babies, the unconscious pilgrims of an exacting belief.
|
|
|
|
'Look at dese cattle,' said the German skipper to his new chief
|
|
mate.
|
|
|
|
An Arab, the leader of that pious voyage, came last. He walked
|
|
slowly aboard, handsome and grave in his white gown and large
|
|
turban. A string of servants followed, loaded with his luggage; the
|
|
Patna cast off and backed away from the wharf.
|
|
|
|
She was headed between two small islets, crossed obliquely the
|
|
anchoring-ground of sailing-ships, swung through half a circle in
|
|
the shadow of a hill, then ranged close to a ledge of foaming reefs.
|
|
The Arab, standing up aft, recited aloud the prayer of travellers by
|
|
sea. He invoked the favour of the Most High upon that journey,
|
|
implored His blessing on men's toil and on the secret purposes of
|
|
their hearts; the steamer pounded in the dusk the calm water of the
|
|
Strait; and far astern of the pilgrim ship a screw-pile lighthouse,
|
|
planted by unbelievers on a treacherous shoal, seemed to wink at
|
|
her its eye of flame, as if in derision of her errand of faith.
|
|
|
|
She cleared the Strait, crossed the bay, continued on her way
|
|
through the 'One-degree' passage. She held on straight for the Red
|
|
Sea under a serene sky, under a sky scorching and unclouded,
|
|
enveloped in a fulgor of sunshine that killed all thought, oppressed
|
|
the heart, withered all impulses of strength and energy. And under
|
|
the sinister splendour of that sky the sea, blue and profound,
|
|
remained still, without a stir, without a ripple, without a wrinkle --
|
|
viscous, stagnant, dead. The Patna, with a slight hiss, passed over
|
|
that plain, luminous and smooth, unrolled a black ribbon of smoke
|
|
across the sky, left behind her on the water a white ribbon of foam
|
|
that vanished at once, like the phantom of a track drawn upon a
|
|
lifeless sea by the phantom of a steamer.
|
|
|
|
Every morning the sun, as if keeping pace in his revolutions with
|
|
the progress of the pilgrimage, emerged with a silent burst of light
|
|
exactly at the same distance astern of the ship, caught up with her
|
|
at noon, pouring the concentrated fire of his rays on the pious
|
|
purposes of the men, glided past on his descent, and sank mysteri-
|
|
ously into the sea evening after evening, preserving the same dis-
|
|
tance ahead of her advancing bows. The five whites on board lived
|
|
amidships, isolated from the human cargo. The awnings covered
|
|
the deck with a white roof from stem to stern, and a faint hum, a
|
|
low murmur of sad voices, alone revealed the presence of a crowd
|
|
of people upon the great blaze of the ocean. Such were the days,
|
|
still, hot, heavy, disappearing one by one into the past, as if falling
|
|
into an abyss for ever open in the wake of the ship; and the ship,
|
|
lonely under a wisp of smoke, held on her steadfast way black and
|
|
smouldering in a luminous immensity, as if scorched by a flame
|
|
flicked at her from a heaven without pity.
|
|
|
|
The nights descended on her like a benediction.
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 3
|
|
|
|
A marvellous stillness pervaded the world, and the stars, together
|
|
with the serenity of their rays, seemed to shed upon the earth the
|
|
assurance of everlasting security. The young moon recurved, and
|
|
shining low in the west, was like a slender shaving thrown up from
|
|
a bar of gold, and the Arabian Sea, smooth and cool to the eye like
|
|
a sheet of ice, extended its perfect level to the perfect circle of a
|
|
dark horizon. The propeller turned without a check, as though its
|
|
beat had been part of the scheme of a safe universe; and on each
|
|
side of the Patna two deep folds of water, permanent and sombre
|
|
on the unwrinkled shimmer, enclosed within their straight and
|
|
diverging ridges a few white swirls of foam bursting in a low hiss,
|
|
a few wavelets, a few ripples, a few undulations that, left behind,
|
|
agitated the surface of the sea for an instant after the passage of the
|
|
ship, subsided splashing gently, calmed down at last into the circu-
|
|
lar stillness of water and sky with the black speck of the moving
|
|
hull remaining everlastingly in its centre.
|
|
|
|
Jim on the bridge was penetrated by the great certitude of
|
|
unbounded safety and peace that could be read on the silent aspect
|
|
of nature like the certitude of fostering love upon the placid tender-
|
|
ness of a mother's face. Below the roof of awnings, surrendered to
|
|
the wisdom of white men and to their courage, trusting the power
|
|
of their unbelief and the iron shell of their fire-ship, the pilgrims of
|
|
an exacting faith slept on mats, on blankets, on bare planks, on
|
|
every deck, in all the dark corners, wrapped in dyed cloths, muffled
|
|
in soiled rags, with their heads resting on small bundles, with their
|
|
faces pressed to bent forearms: the men, the women, the children;
|
|
the old with the young, the decrepit with the lusty -- all equal before
|
|
sleep, death's brother.
|
|
|
|
A draught of air, fanned from forward by the speed of the ship,
|
|
passed steadily through the long gloom between the high bulwarks,
|
|
swept over the rows of prone bodies; a few dim flames in globe-
|
|
lamps were hung short here and there under the ridge-poles, and
|
|
in the blurred circles of light thrown down and trembling slightly
|
|
to the unceasing vibration of the ship appeared a chin upturned,
|
|
two closed eyelids, a dark hand with silver rings, a meagre limb
|
|
draped in a torn covering, a head bent back, a naked foot, a throat
|
|
bared and stretched as if offering itself to the knife. The well-to-do
|
|
had made for their families shelters with heavy boxes and dusty
|
|
mats; the poor reposed side by side with all they had on earth tied
|
|
up in a rag under their heads; the lone old men slept, with drawn-
|
|
up legs, upon their prayer-carpets, with their hands over their ears
|
|
and one elbow on each side of the face; a father, his shoulders up
|
|
and his knees under his forehead, dozed dejectedly by a boy who
|
|
slept on his back with tousled hair and one arm commandingly
|
|
extended; a woman covered from head to foot, like a corpse, with
|
|
a piece of white sheeting, had a naked child in the hollow of each
|
|
arm; the Arab's belongings, piled right aft, made a heavy mound
|
|
of broken outlines, with a cargo-lamp swung above, and a great
|
|
confusion of vague forms behind: gleams of paunchy brass pots,
|
|
the foot-rest of a deck-chair, blades of spears, the straight scabbard
|
|
of an old sword leaning against a heap of pillows, the spout of a tin
|
|
coffee-pot. The patent log on the taffrail periodically rang a single
|
|
tinkling stroke for every mile traversed on an errand of faith. Above
|
|
the mass of sleepers a faint and patient sigh at times floated, the
|
|
exhalation of a troubled dream; and short metallic clangs bursting
|
|
out suddenly in the depths of the ship, the harsh scrape of a shovel,
|
|
the violent slam of a furnace-door, exploded brutally, as if the men
|
|
handling the mysterious things below had their breasts full of fierce
|
|
anger: while the slim high hull of the steamer went on evenly ahead,
|
|
without a sway of her bare masts, cleaving continuously the great
|
|
calm of the waters under the inaccessible serenity of the sky.
|
|
|
|
Jim paced athwart, and his footsteps in the vast silence were loud
|
|
to his own ears, as if echoed by the watchful stars: his eyes, roaming
|
|
about the line of the horizon, seemed to gaze hungrily into the
|
|
unattainable, and did not see the shadow of the coming event. The
|
|
only shadow on the sea was the shadow of the black smoke pouring
|
|
heavily from the funnel its immense streamer, whose end was con-
|
|
stantly dissolving in the air. Two Malays, silent and almost motion-
|
|
less, steered, one on each side of the wheel, whose brass rim shone
|
|
fragmentarily in the oval of light thrown out by the binnacle. Now
|
|
and then a hand, with black fingers alternately letting go and catch-
|
|
ing hold of revolving spokes, appeared in the illumined part; the
|
|
links of wheel-chains ground heavily in the grooves of the barrel.
|
|
Jim would glance at the compass, would glance around the unattain-
|
|
able horizon, would stretch himself till his joints cracked, with a
|
|
leisurely twist of the body, in the very excess of well-being; and, as
|
|
if made audacious by the invincible aspect of the peace, he felt he
|
|
cared for nothing that could happen to him to the end of his days.
|
|
From time to time he glanced idly at a chart pegged out with four
|
|
drawing-pins on a low three-legged table abaft the steering-gear
|
|
case. The sheet of paper portraying the depths of the sea presented
|
|
a shiny surface under the light of a bull's-eye lamp lashed to a
|
|
stanchion, a surface as level and smooth as the glimmering surface
|
|
of the waters. Parallel rulers with a pair of dividers reposed on it;
|
|
the ship's position at last noon was marked with a small black cross,
|
|
and the straight pencil-line drawn firmly as far as Perim figured the
|
|
course of the ship -- the path of souls towards the holy place, the
|
|
promise of salvation, the reward of eternal life -- while the pencil
|
|
with its sharp end touching the Somali coast lay round and still like
|
|
a naked ship's spar floating in the pool of a sheltered dock. 'How
|
|
steady she goes,' thought Jim with wonder, with something like
|
|
gratitude for this high peace of sea and sky. At such times his
|
|
thoughts would be full of valorous deeds: he loved these dreams
|
|
and the success of his imaginary achievements. They were the best
|
|
parts of life, its secret truth, its hidden reality. They had a gorgeous
|
|
virility, the charm of vagueness, they passed before him with an
|
|
heroic tread; they carried his soul away with them and made it
|
|
drunk with the divine philtre of an unbounded confidence in itself.
|
|
There was nothing he could not face. He was so pleased with the
|
|
idea that he smiled, keeping perfunctorily his eyes ahead; and when
|
|
he happened to glance back he saw the white streak of the wake
|
|
drawn as straight by the ship's keel upon the sea as the black line
|
|
drawn by the pencil upon the chart.
|
|
|
|
The ash-buckets racketed, clanking up and down the stoke-hold
|
|
ventilators, and this tin-pot clatter warned him the end of his watch
|
|
was near. He sighed with content, with regret as well at having to
|
|
part from that serenity which fostered the adventurous freedom of
|
|
his thoughts. He was a little sleepy too, and felt a pleasurable lan-
|
|
guor running through every limb as though all the blood in his body
|
|
had turned to warm milk. His skipper had come up noiselessly, in
|
|
pyjamas and with his sleeping-jacket flung wide open. Red of face,
|
|
only half awake, the left eye partly closed, the right staring stupid
|
|
and glassy, he hung his big head over the chart and scratched his
|
|
ribs sleepily. There was something obscene in the sight of his naked
|
|
flesh. His bared breast glistened soft and greasy as though he had
|
|
sweated out his fat in his sleep. He pronounced a professional
|
|
remark in a voice harsh and dead, resembling the rasping sound of
|
|
a wood-file on the edge of a plank; the fold of his double chin hung
|
|
like a bag triced up close under the hinge of his jaw. Jim started,
|
|
and his answer was full of deference; but the odious and fleshy
|
|
figure, as though seen for the first time in a revealing moment, fixed
|
|
itself in his memory for ever as the incarnation of everything vile
|
|
and base that lurks in the world we love: in our own hearts we trust
|
|
for our salvation, in the men that surround us, in the sights that fill
|
|
our eyes, in the sounds that fill our ears, and in the air that fills our
|
|
lungs.
|
|
|
|
The thin gold shaving of the moon floating slowly downwards
|
|
had lost itself on the darkened surface of the waters, and the eternity
|
|
beyond the sky seemed to come down nearer to the earth, with the
|
|
augmented glitter of the stars, with the more profound sombreness
|
|
in the lustre of the half-transparent dome covering the flat disc of
|
|
an opaque sea. The ship moved so smoothly that her onward motion
|
|
was imperceptible to the senses of men, as though she had been a
|
|
crowded planet speeding through the dark spaces of ether behind
|
|
the swarm of suns, in the appalling and calm solitudes awaiting the
|
|
breath of future creations. 'Hot is no name for it down below,' said
|
|
a voice.
|
|
|
|
Jim smiled without looking round. The skipper presented an
|
|
unmoved breadth of back: it was the renegade's trick to appear
|
|
pointedly unaware of your existence unless it suited his purpose to
|
|
turn at you with a devouring glare before he let loose a torrent of
|
|
foamy, abusive jargon that came like a gush from a sewer. Now he
|
|
emitted only a sulky grunt; the second engineer at the head of
|
|
the bridge-ladder, kneading with damp palms a dirty sweat-rag,
|
|
unabashed, continued the tale of his complaints. The sailors had a
|
|
good time of it up here, and what was the use of them in the world
|
|
he would be blowed if he could see. The poor devils of engineers
|
|
had to get the ship along anyhow, and they could very well do the
|
|
rest too; by gosh they -- 'Shut up!' growled the German stolidly.
|
|
'Oh yes! Shut up -- and when anything goes wrong you fly to us,
|
|
don't you?' went on the other. He was more than half cooked, he
|
|
expected; but anyway, now, he did not mind how much he sinned,
|
|
because these last three days he had passed through a fine course of
|
|
training for the place where the bad boys go when they die -- b'gosh,
|
|
he had -- besides being made jolly well deaf by the blasted racket
|
|
below. The durned, compound, surface-condensing, rotten scrap-
|
|
heap rattled and banged down there like an old deck-winch, only
|
|
more so; and what made him risk his life every night and day that
|
|
God made amongst the refuse of a breaking-up yard flying round
|
|
at fifty-seven revolutions, was more than he could tell. He must have
|
|
been born reckless, b'gosh. He . . . 'Where did you get drink?'
|
|
inquired the German, very savage; but motionless in the light of
|
|
the binnacle, like a clumsy effigy of a man cut out of a block of fat.
|
|
Jim went on smiling at the retreating horizon; his heart was full of
|
|
generous impulses, and his thought was contemplating his own
|
|
superiority. 'Drink!' repeated the engineer with amiable scorn: he
|
|
was hanging on with both hands to the rail, a shadowy figure with
|
|
flexible legs. 'Not from you, captain. You're far too mean, b'gosh.
|
|
You would let a good man die sooner than give him a drop of
|
|
schnapps. That's what you Germans call economy. Penny wise,
|
|
pound foolish.' He became sentimental. The chief had given him a
|
|
four-finger nip about ten o'clock -- 'only one, s'elp me!' -- good old
|
|
chief; but as to getting the old fraud out of his bunk -- a five-ton
|
|
crane couldn't do it. Not it. Not to-night anyhow. He was sleeping
|
|
sweetly like a little child, with a bottle of prime brandy under his
|
|
pillow. From the thick throat of the commander of the Patna came
|
|
a low rumble, on which the sound of the word Schwein fluttered
|
|
high and low like a capricious feather in a faint stir of air. He and
|
|
the chief engineer had been cronies for a good few years -- serving
|
|
the same jovial, crafty, old Chinaman, with horn-rimmed goggles
|
|
and strings of red silk plaited into the venerable grey hairs of his
|
|
pigtail. The quay-side opinion in the Patna's home-port was that
|
|
these two in the way of brazen peculation 'had done together pretty
|
|
well everything you can think of.' Outwardly they were badly mat-
|
|
ched: one dull-eyed, malevolent, and of soft fleshy curves; the other
|
|
lean, all hollows, with a head long and bony like the head of an old
|
|
horse, with sunken cheeks, with sunken temples, with an indiffer-
|
|
ent glazed glance of sunken eyes. He had been stranded out East
|
|
somewhere -- in Canton, in Shanghai, or perhaps in Yokohama; he
|
|
probably did not care to remember himself the exact locality, nor
|
|
yet the cause of his shipwreck. He had been, in mercy to his youth,
|
|
kicked quietly out of his ship twenty years ago or more, and it might
|
|
have been so much worse for him that the memory of the episode
|
|
had in it hardly a trace of misfortune. Then, steam navigation
|
|
expanding in these seas and men of his craft being scarce at first,
|
|
he had 'got on' after a sort. He was eager to let strangers know in a
|
|
dismal mumble that he was 'an old stager out here.' When he
|
|
moved, a skeleton seemed to sway loose in his clothes; his walk
|
|
was mere wandering, and he was given to wander thus around the
|
|
engine-room skylight, smoking, without relish, doctored tobacco
|
|
in a brass bowl at the end of a cherrywood stem four feet long, with
|
|
the imbecile gravity of a thinker evolving a system of philosophy
|
|
from the hazy glimpse of a truth. He was usually anything but free
|
|
with his private store of liquor; but on that night he had departed
|
|
from his principles, so that his second, a weak-headed child of
|
|
Wapping, what with the unexpectedness of the treat and the
|
|
strength of the stuff, had become very happy, cheeky, and talkative.
|
|
The fury of the New South Wales German was extreme; he puffed
|
|
like an exhaust-pipe, and Jim, faintly amused by the scene, was
|
|
impatient for the time when he could get below: the last ten minutes
|
|
of the watch were irritating like a gun that hangs fire; those men
|
|
did not belong to the world of heroic adventure; they weren't bad
|
|
chaps though. Even the skipper himself . . . His gorge rose at the
|
|
mass of panting flesh from which issued gurgling mutters, a cloudy
|
|
trickle of filthy expressions; but he was too pleasurably languid to
|
|
dislike actively this or any other thing. The quality of these men
|
|
did not matter; he rubbed shoulders with them, but they could not
|
|
touch him; he shared the air they breathed, but he was differ-
|
|
ent.... Would the skipper go for the engineer? ... The life was
|
|
easy and he was too sure of himself -- too sure of himself to . . . The
|
|
line dividing his meditation from a surreptitious doze on his feet
|
|
was thinner than a thread in a spider's web.
|
|
|
|
The second engineer was coming by easy transitions to the con-
|
|
sideration of his finances and of his courage.
|
|
|
|
'Who's drunk? I? No, no, captain! That won't do. You ought to
|
|
know by this time the chief ain't free-hearted enough to make a
|
|
sparrow drunk, b'gosh. I've never been the worse for liquor in my
|
|
life; the stuff ain't made yet that would make me drunk. I could
|
|
drink liquid fire against your whisky peg for peg, b'gosh, and keep
|
|
as cool as a cucumber. If I thought I was drunk I would jump
|
|
overboard -- do away with myself, b'gosh. I would! Straight! And
|
|
I won't go off the bridge. Where do you expect me to take the air
|
|
on a night like this, eh? On deck amongst that vermin down there?
|
|
Likely -- ain't it! And I am not afraid of anything you can do.'
|
|
|
|
The German lifted two heavy fists to heaven and shook them a
|
|
little without a word.
|
|
|
|
'I don't know what fear is,' pursued the engineer, with the
|
|
enthusiasm of sincere conviction. 'I am not afraid of doing all the
|
|
bloomin' work in this rotten hooker, b'gosh! And a jolly good thing
|
|
for you that there are some of us about the world that aren't afraid
|
|
of their lives, or where would you be -- you and this old thing here
|
|
with her plates like brown paper -- brown paper, s'elp me? It's all
|
|
very fine for you -- you get a power of pieces out of her one way and
|
|
another; but what about me -- what do I get? A measly hundred and
|
|
fifty dollars a month and find yourself. I wish to ask you respect-
|
|
fully -- respectfully, mind -- who wouldn't chuck a dratted job like
|
|
this? 'Tain't safe, s'elp me, it ain't! Only I am one of them fearless
|
|
fellows . . .'
|
|
|
|
He let go the rail and made ample gestures as if demonstrating
|
|
in the air the shape and extent of his valour; his thin voice darted
|
|
in prolonged squeaks upon the sea, he tiptoed back and forth for
|
|
the better emphasis of utterance, and suddenly pitched down head-
|
|
first as though he had been clubbed from behind. He said 'Damn!'
|
|
as he tumbled; an instant of silence followed upon his screeching:
|
|
Jim and the skipper staggered forward by common accord, and
|
|
catching themselves up, stood very stiff and still gazing, amazed,
|
|
at the undisturbed level of the sea. Then they looked upwards at
|
|
the stars.
|
|
|
|
What had happened? The wheezy thump of the engines went
|
|
on. Had the earth been checked in her course? They could not
|
|
understand; and suddenly the calm sea, the sky without a cloud,
|
|
appeared formidably insecure in their immobility, as if poised on
|
|
the brow of yawning destruction. The engineer rebounded verti-
|
|
cally full length and collapsed again into a vague heap. This heap
|
|
said 'What's that?' in the muffled accents of profound grief. A faint
|
|
noise as of thunder, of thunder infinitely remote, less than a sound,
|
|
hardly more than a vibration, passed slowly, and the ship quivered
|
|
in response, as if the thunder had growled deep down in the water.
|
|
The eyes of the two Malays at the wheel glittered towards the white
|
|
men, but their dark hands remained closed on the spokes. The
|
|
sharp hull driving on its way seemed to rise a few inches in suc-
|
|
cession through its whole length, as though it had become pliable,
|
|
and settled down again rigidly to its work of cleaving the smooth
|
|
surface of the sea. Its quivering stopped, and the faint noise of
|
|
thunder ceased all at once, as though the ship had steamed across
|
|
a narrow belt of vibrating water and of humming air.
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 4
|
|
|
|
A month or so afterwards, when Jim, in answer to pointed ques-
|
|
tions, tried to tell honestly the truth of this experience, he said,
|
|
speaking of the ship: 'She went over whatever it was as easy as a
|
|
snake crawling over a stick.' The illustration was good: the ques-
|
|
tions were aiming at facts, and the official Inquiry was being held
|
|
in the police court of an Eastern port. He stood elevated in the
|
|
witness-box, with burning cheeks in a cool lofty room: the big
|
|
framework of punkahs moved gently to and fro high above his head,
|
|
and from below many eyes were looking at him out of dark faces, out
|
|
of white faces, out of red faces, out of faces attentive, spellbound, as
|
|
if all these people sitting in orderly rows upon narrow benches had
|
|
been enslaved by the fascination of his voice. It was very loud, it
|
|
rang startling in his own ears, it was the only sound audible in the
|
|
world, for the terribly distinct questions that extorted his answers
|
|
seemed to shape themselves in anguish and pain within his breast, --
|
|
came to him poignant and silent like the terrible questioning of
|
|
one's conscience. Outside the court the sun blazed -- within was the
|
|
wind of great punkahs that made you shiver, the shame that made
|
|
you burn, the attentive eyes whose glance stabbed. The face of the
|
|
presiding magistrate, clean shaved and impassible, looked at him
|
|
deadly pale between the red faces of the two nautical assessors. The
|
|
light of a broad window under the ceiling fell from above on the
|
|
heads and shoulders of the three men, and they were fiercely distinct
|
|
in the half-light of the big court-room where the audience seemed
|
|
composed of staring shadows. They wanted facts. Facts! They
|
|
demanded facts from him, as if facts could explain anything!
|
|
|
|
'After you had concluded you had collided with something float-
|
|
ing awash, say a water-logged wreck, you were ordered by your
|
|
captain to go forward and ascertain if there was any damage done.
|
|
Did you think it likely from the force of the blow?' asked the
|
|
assessor sitting to the left. He had a thin horseshoe beard, salient
|
|
cheek-bones, and with both elbows on the desk clasped his rugged
|
|
hands before his face, looking at Jim with thoughtful blue eyes; the
|
|
other, a heavy, scornful man, thrown back in his seat, his left arm
|
|
extended full length, drummed delicately with his finger-tips on a
|
|
blotting-pad: in the middle the magistrate upright in the roomy
|
|
arm-chair, his head inclined slightly on the shoulder, had his arms
|
|
crossed on his breast and a few flowers in a glass vase by the side of
|
|
his inkstand.
|
|
|
|
'I did not,' said Jim. 'I was told to call no one and to make no noise
|
|
for fear of creating a panic. I thought the precaution reasonable. I
|
|
took one of the lamps that were hung under the awnings and went
|
|
forward. After opening the forepeak hatch I heard splashing in
|
|
there. I lowered then the lamp the whole drift of its lanyard, and
|
|
saw that the forepeak was more than half full of water already.
|
|
I knew then there must be a big hole below the water-line.' He
|
|
paused.
|
|
|
|
'Yes,' said the big assessor, with a dreamy smile at the blotting-
|
|
pad; his fingers played incessantly, touching the paper without
|
|
noise.
|
|
|
|
'I did not think of danger just then. I might have been a little
|
|
startled: all this happened in such a quiet way and so very suddenly.
|
|
I knew there was no other bulkhead in the ship but the collision
|
|
bulkhead separating the forepeak from the forehold. I went back
|
|
to tell the captain. I came upon the second engineer getting up at
|
|
the foot of the bridge-ladder: he seemed dazed, and told me he
|
|
thought his left arm was broken; he had slipped on the top step
|
|
when getting down while I was forward. He exclaimed, "My God!
|
|
That rotten bulkhead'll give way in a minute, and the damned thing
|
|
will go down under us like a lump of lead." He pushed me away
|
|
with his right arm and ran before me up the ladder, shouting as he
|
|
climbed. His left arm hung by his side. I followed up in time to see
|
|
the captain rush at him and knock him down flat on his back. He
|
|
did not strike him again: he stood bending over him and speaking
|
|
angrily but quite low. I fancy he was asking him why the devil he
|
|
didn't go and stop the engines, instead of making a row about it on
|
|
deck. I heard him say, "Get up! Run! fly!" He swore also. The
|
|
engineer slid down the starboard ladder and bolted round the sky-
|
|
light to the engine-room companion which was on the port side. He
|
|
moaned as he ran....'
|
|
|
|
He spoke slowly; he remembered swiftly and with extreme vivid-
|
|
ness; he could have reproduced like an echo the moaning of the
|
|
engineer for the better information of these men who wanted facts.
|
|
After his first feeling of revolt he had come round to the view that
|
|
only a meticulous precision of statement would bring out the true
|
|
horror behind the appalling face of things. The facts those men
|
|
were so eager to know had been visible, tangible, open to the senses,
|
|
occupying their place in space and time, requiring for their exist-
|
|
ence a fourteen-hundred-ton steamer and twenty-seven minutes by
|
|
the watch; they made a whole that had features, shades of
|
|
expression, a complicated aspect that could be remembered by the
|
|
eye, and something else besides, something invisible, a directing
|
|
spirit of perdition that dwelt within, like a malevolent soul in a
|
|
detestable body. He was anxious to make this clear. This had not
|
|
been a common affair, everything in it had been of the utmost
|
|
importance, and fortunately he remembered everything. He wanted
|
|
to go on talking for truth's sake, perhaps for his own sake also; and
|
|
while his utterance was deliberate, his mind positively flew round
|
|
and round the serried circle of facts that had surged up all about
|
|
him to cut him off from the rest of his kind: it was like a creature
|
|
that, finding itself imprisoned within an enclosure of high stakes,
|
|
dashes round and round, distracted in the night, trying to find a
|
|
weak spot, a crevice, a place to scale, some opening through which
|
|
it may squeeze itself and escape. This awful activity of mind made
|
|
him hesitate at times in his speech....
|
|
|
|
'The captain kept on moving here and there on the bridge; he
|
|
seemed calm enough, only he stumbled several times; and once as
|
|
I stood speaking to him he walked right into me as though he had
|
|
been stone-blind. He made no definite answer to what I had to tell.
|
|
He mumbled to himself; all I heard of it were a few words that
|
|
sounded like "confounded steam!" and "infernal steam!" -- some-
|
|
thing about steam. I thought . . .'
|
|
|
|
He was becoming irrelevant; a question to the point cut short his
|
|
speech, like a pang of pain, and he felt extremely discouraged and
|
|
weary. He was coming to that, he was coming to that -- and now,
|
|
checked brutally, he had to answer by yes or no. He answered
|
|
truthfully by a curt 'Yes, I did'; and fair of face, big of frame, with
|
|
young, gloomy eyes, he held his shoulders upright above the box
|
|
while his soul writhed within him. He was made to answer another
|
|
question so much to the point and so useless, then waited again.
|
|
His mouth was tastelessly dry, as though he had been eating dust,
|
|
then salt and bitter as after a drink of sea-water. He wiped his damp
|
|
forehead, passed his tongue over parched lips, felt a shiver run
|
|
down his back. The big assessor had dropped his eyelids, and
|
|
drummed on without a sound, careless and mournful; the eyes of
|
|
the other above the sunburnt, clasped fingers seemed to glow with
|
|
kindliness; the magistrate had swayed forward; his pale face
|
|
hovered near the flowers, and then dropping sideways over the arm
|
|
of his chair, he rested his temple in the palm of his hand. The wind
|
|
of the punkahs eddied down on the heads, on the dark-faced natives
|
|
wound about in voluminous draperies, on the Europeans sitting
|
|
together very hot and in drill suits that seemed to fit them as close
|
|
as their skins, and holding their round pith hats on their knees;
|
|
while gliding along the walls the court peons, buttoned tight in long
|
|
white coats, flitted rapidly to and fro, running on bare toes, red-
|
|
sashed, red turban on head, as noiseless as ghosts, and on the alert
|
|
like so many retrievers.
|
|
|
|
Jim's eyes, wandering in the intervals of his answers, rested upon
|
|
a white man who sat apart from the others, with his face worn and
|
|
clouded, but with quiet eyes that glanced straight, interested and
|
|
clear. Jim answered another question and was tempted to cry out,
|
|
'What's the good of this! what's the good!' He tapped with his foot
|
|
slightly, bit his lip, and looked away over the heads. He met the
|
|
eyes of the white man. The glance directed at him was not the
|
|
fascinated stare of the others. It was an act of intelligent volition.
|
|
Jim between two questions forgot himself so far as to find leisure
|
|
for a thought. This fellow -- ran the thought -- looks at me as though
|
|
he could see somebody or something past my shoulder. He had
|
|
come across that man before -- in the street perhaps. He was positive
|
|
he had never spoken to him. For days, for many days, he had
|
|
spoken to no one, but had held silent, incoherent, and endless
|
|
converse with himself, like a prisoner alone in his cell or like a
|
|
wayfarer lost in a wilderness. At present he was answering questions
|
|
that did not matter though they had a purpose, but he doubted
|
|
whether he would ever again speak out as long as he lived. The
|
|
sound of his own truthful statements confirmed his deliberate
|
|
opinion that speech was of no use to him any longer. That man
|
|
there seemed to be aware of his hopeless difficulty. Jim looked at
|
|
him, then turned away resolutely, as after a final parting.
|
|
|
|
And later on, many times, in distant parts of the world, Marlow
|
|
showed himself willing to remember Jim, to remember him at
|
|
length, in detail and audibly.
|
|
|
|
Perhaps it would be after dinner, on a verandah draped in motion-
|
|
less foliage and crowned with flowers, in the deep dusk speckled by
|
|
fiery cigar-ends. The elongated bulk of each cane-chair harboured
|
|
a silent listener. Now and then a small red glow would move
|
|
abruptly, and expanding light up the fingers of a languid hand, part
|
|
of a face in profound repose, or flash a crimson gleam into a pair of
|
|
pensive eyes overshadowed by a fragment of an unruffled forehead;
|
|
and with the very first word uttered Marlow's body, extended at
|
|
rest in the seat, would become very still, as though his spirit had
|
|
winged its way back into the lapse of time and were speaking
|
|
through his lips from the past.
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 5
|
|
|
|
'Oh yes. I attended the inquiry,' he would say, 'and to this day I
|
|
haven't left off wondering why I went. I am willing to believe each
|
|
of us has a guardian angel, if you fellows will concede to me that
|
|
each of us has a familiar devil as well. I want you to own up, because
|
|
I don't like to feel exceptional in any way, and I know I have him --
|
|
the devil, I mean. I haven't seen him, of course, but I go upon
|
|
circumstantial evidence. He is there right enough, and, being
|
|
malicious, he lets me in for that kind of thing. What kind of thing,
|
|
you ask? Why, the inquiry thing, the yellow-dog thing -- you
|
|
wouldn't think a mangy, native tyke would be allowed to trip up
|
|
people in the verandah of a magistrate's court, would you? -- the
|
|
kind of thing that by devious, unexpected, truly diabolical ways
|
|
causes me to run up against men with soft spots, with hard spots,
|
|
with hidden plague spots, by Jove! and loosens their tongues at the
|
|
sight of me for their infernal confidences; as though, forsooth, I
|
|
had no confidences to make to myself, as though -- God help me! --
|
|
I didn't have enough confidential information about myself to har-
|
|
row my own soul till the end of my appointed time. And what I
|
|
have done to be thus favoured I want to know. I declare I am as full
|
|
of my own concerns as the next man, and I have as much memory
|
|
as the average pilgrim in this valley, so you see I am not particularly
|
|
fit to be a receptacle of confessions. Then why? Can't tell -- unless
|
|
it be to make time pass away after dinner. Charley, my dear chap,
|
|
your dinner was extremely good, and in consequence these men
|
|
here look upon a quiet rubber as a tumultuous occupation. They
|
|
wallow in your good chairs and think to themselves, "Hang exer-
|
|
tion. Let that Marlow talk."
|
|
|
|
'Talk! So be it. And it's easy enough to talk of Master Jim, after
|
|
a good spread, two hundred feet above the sea-level, with a box of
|
|
decent cigars handy, on a blessed evening of freshness and starlight
|
|
that would make the best of us forget we are only on sufferance here
|
|
and got to pick our way in cross lights, watching every precious
|
|
minute and every irremediable step, trusting we shall manage yet
|
|
to go out decently in the end -- but not so sure of it after all -- and
|
|
with dashed little help to expect from those we touch elbows with
|
|
right and left. Of course there are men here and there to whom the
|
|
whole of life is like an after-dinner hour with a cigar; easy, pleasant,
|
|
empty, perhaps enlivened by some fable of strife to be forgotten
|
|
before the end is told -- before the end is told -- even if there happens
|
|
to be any end to it.
|
|
|
|
'My eyes met his for the first time at that inquiry. You must know
|
|
that everybody connected in any way with the sea was there, because
|
|
the affair had been notorious for days, ever since that mysterious
|
|
cable message came from Aden to start us all cackling. I say mysteri-
|
|
ous, because it was so in a sense though it contained a naked fact,
|
|
about as naked and ugly as a fact can well be. The whole waterside
|
|
talked of nothing else. First thing in the morning as I was dressing
|
|
in my state-room, I would hear through the bulkhead my Parsee
|
|
Dubash jabbering about the Patna with the steward, while he drank
|
|
a cup of tea, by favour, in the pantry. No sooner on shore I would
|
|
meet some acquaintance, and the first remark would be, "Did you
|
|
ever hear of anything to beat this?" and according to his kind the
|
|
man would smile cynically, or look sad, or let out a swear or two.
|
|
Complete strangers would accost each other familiarly, just for the
|
|
sake of easing their minds on the subject: every confounded loafer
|
|
in the town came in for a harvest of drinks over this affair: you
|
|
heard of it in the harbour office, at every ship-broker's, at your
|
|
agent's, from whites, from natives, from half-castes, from the very
|
|
boatmen squatting half naked on the stone steps as you went up --
|
|
by Jove! There was some indignation, not a few jokes, and no end
|
|
of discussions as to what had become of them, you know. This went
|
|
on for a couple of weeks or more, and the opinion that whatever
|
|
was mysterious in this affair would turn out to be tragic as well,
|
|
began to prevail, when one fine morning, as I was standing in the
|
|
shade by the steps of the harbour office, I perceived four men
|
|
walking towards me along the quay. I wondered for a while where
|
|
that queer lot had sprung from, and suddenly, I may say, I shouted
|
|
to myself, "Here they are!"
|
|
|
|
'There they were, sure enough, three of them as large as life, and
|
|
one much larger of girth than any living man has a right to be, just
|
|
landed with a good breakfast inside of them from an outward-bound
|
|
Dale Line steamer that had come in about an hour after sunrise.
|
|
There could be no mistake; I spotted the jolly skipper of the Patna
|
|
at the first glance: the fattest man in the whole blessed tropical belt
|
|
clear round that good old earth of ours. Moreover, nine months or
|
|
so before, I had come across him in Samarang. His steamer was
|
|
loading in the Roads, and he was abusing the tyrannical institutions
|
|
of the German empire, and soaking himself in beer all day long and
|
|
day after day in De Jongh's back-shop, till De Jongh, who charged
|
|
a guilder for every bottle without as much as the quiver of an eyelid,
|
|
would beckon me aside, and, with his little leathery face all puck-
|
|
ered up, declare confidentially, "Business is business, but this man,
|
|
captain, he make me very sick. Tfui!"
|
|
|
|
'I was looking at him from the shade. He was hurrying on a little
|
|
in advance, and the sunlight beating on him brought out his bulk
|
|
in a startling way. He made me think of a trained baby elephant
|
|
walking on hind-legs. He was extravagantly gorgeous too -- got
|
|
up in a soiled sleeping-suit, bright green and deep orange vertical
|
|
stripes, with a pair of ragged straw slippers on his bare feet, and
|
|
somebody's cast-off pith hat, very dirty and two sizes too small for
|
|
him, tied up with a manilla rope-yarn on the top of his big head.
|
|
You understand a man like that hasn't the ghost of a chance when
|
|
it comes to borrowing clothes. Very well. On he came in hot haste,
|
|
without a look right or left, passed within three feet of me, and in
|
|
the innocence of his heart went on pelting upstairs into the harbour
|
|
office to make his deposition, or report, or whatever you like to call
|
|
it.
|
|
|
|
'It appears he addressed himself in the first instance to the princi-
|
|
pal shipping-master. Archie Ruthvel had just come in, and, as his
|
|
story goes, was about to begin his arduous day by giving a dressing-
|
|
down to his chief clerk. Some of you might have known him -- an
|
|
obliging little Portuguese half-caste with a miserably skinny neck,
|
|
and always on the hop to get something from the shipmasters in the
|
|
way of eatables -- a piece of salt pork, a bag of biscuits, a few
|
|
potatoes, or what not. One voyage, I recollect, I tipped him a live
|
|
sheep out of the remnant of my sea-stock: not that I wanted him to
|
|
do anything for me -- he couldn't, you know -- but because his child-
|
|
like belief in the sacred right to perquisites quite touched my heart.
|
|
It was so strong as to be almost beautiful. The race -- the two races
|
|
rather -- and the climate . . . However, never mind. I know where
|
|
I have a friend for life.
|
|
|
|
'Well, Ruthvel says he was giving him a severe lecture -- on official
|
|
morality, I suppose -- when he heard a kind of subdued commotion
|
|
at his back, and turning his head he saw, in his own words, some-
|
|
thing round and enormous, resembling a sixteen-hundred-weight
|
|
sugar-hogshead wrapped in striped flannelette, up-ended in the
|
|
middle of the large floor space in the office. He declares he was so
|
|
taken aback that for quite an appreciable time he did not realise the
|
|
thing was alive, and sat still wondering for what purpose and by
|
|
what means that object had been transported in front of his desk.
|
|
The archway from the ante-room was crowded with punkah-pul-
|
|
lers, sweepers, police peons, the coxswain and crew of the harbour
|
|
steam-launch, all craning their necks and almost climbing on each
|
|
other's backs. Quite a riot. By that time the fellow had managed to
|
|
tug and jerk his hat clear of his head, and advanced with slight bows
|
|
at Ruthvel, who told me the sight was so discomposing that for
|
|
some time he listened, quite unable to make out what that appar-
|
|
ition wanted. It spoke in a voice harsh and lugubrious but intrepid,
|
|
and little by little it dawned upon Archie that this was a develop-
|
|
ment of the Patna case. He says that as soon as he understood who
|
|
it was before him he felt quite unwell -- Archie is so sympathetic
|
|
and easily upset -- but pulled himself together and shouted "Stop!
|
|
I can't listen to you. You must go to the Master Attendant. I can't
|
|
possibly listen to you. Captain Elliot is the man you want to see.
|
|
This way, this way." He jumped up, ran round that long counter,
|
|
pulled, shoved: the other let him, surprised but obedient at first,
|
|
and only at the door of the private office some sort of animal instinct
|
|
made him hang back and snort like a frightened bullock. "Look
|
|
here! what's up? Let go! Look here!" Archie flung open the door
|
|
without knocking. "The master of the Patna, sir," he shouts. "Go
|
|
in, captain." He saw the old man lift his head from some writing
|
|
so sharp that his nose-nippers fell off, banged the door to, and fled
|
|
to his desk, where he had some papers waiting for his signature:
|
|
but he says the row that burst out in there was so awful that he
|
|
couldn't collect his senses sufficiently to remember the spelling of
|
|
his own name. Archie's the most sensitive shipping-master in the
|
|
two hemispheres. He declares he felt as though he had thrown a
|
|
man to a hungry lion. No doubt the noise was great. I heard it down
|
|
below, and I have every reason to believe it was heard clear across
|
|
the Esplanade as far as the band-stand. Old father Elliot had a great
|
|
stock of words and could shout -- and didn't mind who he shouted
|
|
at either. He would have shouted at the Viceroy himself. As he used
|
|
to tell me: "I am as high as I can get; my pension is safe. I've a few
|
|
pounds laid by, and if they don't like my notions of duty I would
|
|
just as soon go home as not. I am an old man, and I have always
|
|
spoken my mind. All I care for now is to see my girls married before
|
|
I die." He was a little crazy on that point. His three daughters were
|
|
awfully nice, though they resembled him amazingly, and on the
|
|
mornings he woke up with a gloomy view of their matrimonial
|
|
prospects the office would read it in his eye and tremble, because,
|
|
they said, he was sure to have somebody for breakfast. However,
|
|
that morning he did not eat the renegade, but, if I may be allowed
|
|
to carry on the metaphor, chewed him up very small, so to speak,
|
|
and -- ah! ejected him again.
|
|
|
|
'Thus in a very few moments I saw his monstrous bulk descend
|
|
in haste and stand still on the outer steps. He had stopped close to
|
|
me for the purpose of profound meditation: his large purple cheeks
|
|
quivered. He was biting his thumb, and after a while noticed me
|
|
with a sidelong vexed look. The other three chaps that had landed
|
|
with him made a little group waiting at some distance. There was
|
|
a sallow-faced, mean little chap with his arm in a sling, and a long
|
|
individual in a blue flannel coat, as dry as a chip and no stouter than
|
|
a broomstick, with drooping grey moustaches, who looked about
|
|
him with an air of jaunty imbecility. The third was an upstanding,
|
|
broad-shouldered youth, with his hands in his pockets, turning his
|
|
back on the other two who appeared to be talking together earnestly.
|
|
He stared across the empty Esplanade. A ramshackle gharry, all
|
|
dust and venetian blinds, pulled up short opposite the group, and
|
|
the driver, throwing up his right foot over his knee, gave himself
|
|
up to the critical examination of his toes. The young chap, making
|
|
no movement, not even stirring his head, just stared into the sun-
|
|
shine. This was my first view of Jim. He looked as unconcerned
|
|
and unapproachable as only the young can look. There he stood,
|
|
clean-limbed, clean-faced, firm on his feet, as promising a boy as
|
|
the sun ever shone on; and, looking at him, knowing all he knew
|
|
and a little more too, I was as angry as though I had detected him
|
|
trying to get something out of me by false pretences. He had no
|
|
business to look so sound. I thought to myself -- well, if this sort
|
|
can go wrong like that . . . and I felt as though I could fling down
|
|
my hat and dance on it from sheer mortification, as I once saw the
|
|
skipper of an Italian barque do because his duffer of a mate got into
|
|
a mess with his anchors when making a flying moor in a roadstead
|
|
full of ships. I asked myself, seeing him there apparently so much
|
|
at ease -- is he silly? is he callous? He seemed ready to start whistling
|
|
a tune. And note, I did not care a rap about the behaviour of the
|
|
other two. Their persons somehow fitted the tale that was public
|
|
property, and was going to be the subject of an official inquiry.
|
|
"That old mad rogue upstairs called me a hound," said the captain
|
|
of the Patna. I can't tell whether he recognised me -- I rather think
|
|
he did; but at any rate our glances met. He glared -- I smiled; hound
|
|
was the very mildest epithet that had reached me through the open
|
|
window. "Did he?" I said from some strange inability to hold my
|
|
tongue. He nodded, bit his thumb again, swore qnder his breath:
|
|
then lifting his head and looking at me with sullen and passionate
|
|
impudence -- "Bah! the Pacific is big, my friendt. You damned
|
|
Englishmen can do your worst; I know where there's plenty room
|
|
for a man like me: I am well aguaindt in Apia, in Honolulu, in . . ."
|
|
He paused reflectively, while without effort I could depict to myself
|
|
the sort of people he was "aguaindt" with in those places. I won't
|
|
make a secret of it that I had been "aguaindt" with not a few of that
|
|
sort myself. There are times when a man must act as though life
|
|
were equally sweet in any company. I've known such a time, and,
|
|
what's more, I shan't now pretend to pull a long face over my
|
|
necessity, because a good many of that bad company from want of
|
|
moral -- moral -- what shall I say? -- posture, or from some other
|
|
equally profound cause, were twice as instructive and twenty times
|
|
more amusing than the usual respectable thief of commerce you
|
|
fellows ask to sit at your table without any real necessity -- from
|
|
habit, from cowardice, from good-nature, from a hundred sneaking
|
|
and inadequate reasons.
|
|
|
|
' "You Englishmen are all rogues," went on my patriotic
|
|
Flensborg or Stettin Australian. I really don't recollect now what
|
|
decent little port on the shores of the Baltic was defiled by being
|
|
the nest of that precious bird. "What are you to shout? Eh? You
|
|
tell me? You no better than other people, and that old rogue he
|
|
make Gottam fuss with me." His thick carcass trembled on its legs
|
|
that were like a pair of pillars; it trembled from head to foot. "That's
|
|
what you English always make -- make a tam' fuss -- for any little
|
|
thing, because I was not born in your tam' country. Take away my
|
|
certificate. Take it. I don't want the certificate. A man like me don't
|
|
want your verfluchte certificate. I shpit on it." He spat. "I vill
|
|
an Amerigan citizen begome," he cried, fretting and fuming and
|
|
shuffling his feet as if to free his ankles from some invisible and
|
|
mysterious grasp that would not let him get away from that spot.
|
|
He made himself so warm that the top of his bullet head positively
|
|
smoked. Nothing mysterious prevented me from going away: curi-
|
|
osity is the most obvious of sentiments, and it held me there to see
|
|
the effect of a full information upon that young fellow who, hands
|
|
in pockets, and turning his back upon the sidewalk, gazed across
|
|
the grass-plots of the Esplanade at the yellow portico of the Malabar
|
|
Hotel with the air of a man about to go for a walk as soon as his
|
|
friend is ready. That's how he looked, and it was odious. I waited to
|
|
see him overwhelmed, confounded, pierced through and through,
|
|
squirming like an impaled beetle -- and I was half afraid to see it
|
|
too -- if you understand what I mean. Nothing more awful than to
|
|
watch a man who has been found out, not in a crime but in a more
|
|
than criminal weakness. The commonest sort of fortitude prevents
|
|
us from becoming criminals in a legal sense; it is from weakness
|
|
unknown, but perhaps suspected, as in some parts of the world you
|
|
suspect a deadly snake in every bush -- from weakness that may lie
|
|
hidden, watched or unwatched, prayed against or manfully
|
|
scorned, repressed or maybe ignored more than half a lifetime, not
|
|
one of us is safe. We are snared into doing things for which we get
|
|
called names, and things for which we get hanged, and yet the spirit
|
|
may well survive -- survive the condemnation, survive the halter,
|
|
by Jove! And there are things -- they look small enough sometimes
|
|
too -- by which some of us are totally and completely undone. I
|
|
watched the youngster there. I liked his appearance; I knew his
|
|
appearance; he came from the right place; he was one of us. He
|
|
stood there for all the parentage of his kind, for men and women
|
|
by no means clever or amusing, but whose very existence is based
|
|
upon honest faith, and upon the instinct of courage. I don't mean
|
|
military courage, or civil courage, or any special kind of courage. I
|
|
mean just that inborn ability to look temptations straight in the
|
|
face -- a readiness unintellectual enough, goodness knows, but with-
|
|
out pose -- a power of resistance, don't you see, ungracious if you
|
|
like, but priceless -- an unthinking and blessed stiffness before the
|
|
outward and inward terrors, before the might of nature and the
|
|
seductive corruption of men -- backed by a faith invulnerable to the
|
|
strength of facts, to the contagion of example, to the solicitation of
|
|
ideas. Hang ideas! They are tramps, vagabonds, knocking at the
|
|
back-door of your mind, each taking a little of your substance, each
|
|
carrying away some crumb of that belief in a few simple notions
|
|
you must cling to if you want to live decently and would like to die
|
|
easy!
|
|
|
|
'This has nothing to do with Jim, directly; only he was outwardly
|
|
so typical of that good, stupid kind we like to feel marching right
|
|
and left of us in life, of the kind that is not disturbed by the vagaries
|
|
of intelligence and the perversions of -- of nerves, let us say. He was
|
|
the kind of fellow you would, on the strength of his looks, leave in
|
|
charge of the deck -- figuratively and professionally speaking. I say
|
|
I would, and I ought to know. Haven't I turned out youngsters
|
|
enough in my time, for the service of the Red Rag, to the craft of
|
|
the sea, to the craft whose whole secret could be expressed in one
|
|
short sentence, and yet must be driven afresh every day into young
|
|
heads till it becomes the component part of every waking thought --
|
|
till it is present in every dream of their young sleep! The sea has
|
|
been good to me, but when I remember all these boys that passed
|
|
through my hands, some grown up now and some drowned by this
|
|
time, but all good stuff for the sea, I don't think I have done badly
|
|
by it either. Were I to go home to-morrow, I bet that before two
|
|
days passed over my head some sunburnt young chief mate would
|
|
overtake me at some dock gateway or other, and a fresh deep voice
|
|
speaking above my hat would ask: "Don't you remember me, sir?
|
|
Why! little So-and-so. Such and such a ship. It was my first voy-
|
|
age." And I would remember a bewildered little shaver, no higher
|
|
than the back of this chair, with a mother and perhaps a big sister
|
|
on the quay, very quiet but too upset to wave their handkerchiefs
|
|
at the ship that glides out gently between the pier-heads; or perhaps
|
|
some decent middle-aged father who had come early with his boy
|
|
to see him off, and stays all the morning, because he is interested in
|
|
the windlass apparently, and stays too long, and has got to scramble
|
|
ashore at last with no time at all to say good-bye. The mud pilot on
|
|
the poop sings out to me in a drawl, "Hold her with the check
|
|
line for a moment, Mister Mate. There's a gentleman wants to get
|
|
ashore.... Up with you, sir. Nearly got carried off to Talcahuano,
|
|
didn't you? Now's your time; easy does it.... All right. Slack
|
|
away again forward there." The tugs, smoking like the pit of per-
|
|
dition, get hold and churn the old river into fury; the gentleman
|
|
ashore is dusting his knees -- the benevolent steward has shied his
|
|
umbrella after him. All very proper. He has offered his bit of sacri-
|
|
fice to the sea, and now he may go home pretending he thinks
|
|
nothing of it; and the little willing victim shall be very sea-sick
|
|
before next morning. By-and-by, when he has learned all the little
|
|
mysteries and the one great secret of the craft, he shall be fit to live
|
|
or die as the sea may decree; and the man who had taken a hand in
|
|
this fool game, in which the sea wins every toss, will be pleased to
|
|
have his back slapped by a heavy young hand, and to hear a cheery
|
|
sea-puppy voice: "Do you remember me, sir? The little So-and-
|
|
so."
|
|
|
|
'I tell you this is good; it tells you that once in your life at least
|
|
you had gone the right way to work. I have been thus slapped, and
|
|
I have winced, for the slap was heavy, and I have glowed all day
|
|
long and gone to bed feeling less lonely in the world by virtue of
|
|
that hearty thump. Don't I remember the little So-and-so's! I tell
|
|
you I ought to know the right kind of looks. I would have trusted
|
|
the deck to that youngster on the strength of a single glance, and
|
|
gone to sleep with both eyes -- and, by Jove! it wouldn't have been
|
|
safe. There are depths of horror in that thought. He looked as
|
|
genuine as a new sovereign, but there was some infernal alloy in his
|
|
metal. How much? The least thing -- the least drop of something
|
|
rare and accursed; the least drop! -- but he made you -- standing
|
|
there with his don't-care-hang air -- he made you wonder whether
|
|
perchance he were nothing more rare than brass.
|
|
|
|
'I couldn't believe it. I tell you I wanted to see him squirm for
|
|
the honour of the craft. The other two no-account chaps spotted
|
|
their captain, and began to move slowly towards us. They chatted
|
|
together as they strolled, and I did not care any more than if they
|
|
had not been visible to the naked eye. They grinned at each other --
|
|
might have been exchanging jokes, for all I know. I saw that with
|
|
one of them it was a case of a broken arm; and as to the long
|
|
individual with grey moustaches he was the chief engineer, and in
|
|
various ways a pretty notorious personality. They were nobodies.
|
|
They approached. The skipper gazed in an inanimate way between
|
|
his feet: he seemed to be swollen to an unnatural size by some awful
|
|
disease, by the mysterious action of an unknown poison. He lifted
|
|
his head, saw the two before him waiting, opened his mouth with
|
|
an extraordinary, sneering contortion of his puffed face -- to speak
|
|
to them, I suppose -- and then a thought seemed to strike him. His
|
|
thick, purplish lips came together without a sound, he went off in
|
|
a resolute waddle to the gharry and began to jerk at the door-handle
|
|
with such a blind brutality of impatience that I expected to see the
|
|
whole concern overturned on its side, pony and all. The driver,
|
|
shaken out of his meditation over the sole of his foot, displayed at
|
|
once all the signs of intense terror, and held with both hands, look-
|
|
ing round from his box at this vast carcass forcing its way into his
|
|
conveyance. The little machine shook and rocked tumultuously,
|
|
and the crimson nape of that lowered neck, the size of those strain-
|
|
ing thighs, the immense heaving of that dingy, striped green-and-
|
|
orange back, the whole burrowing effort of that gaudy and sordid
|
|
mass, troubled one's sense of probability with a droll and fearsome
|
|
effect, like one of those grotesque and distinct visions that scare
|
|
and fascinate one in a fever. He disappeared. I half expected the
|
|
roof to split in two, the little box on wheels to burst open in the
|
|
manner of a ripe cotton-pod -- but it only sank with a click of
|
|
flattened springs, and suddenly one venetian blind rattled down.
|
|
His shoulders reappeared, jammed in the small opening; his head
|
|
hung out, distended and tossing like a captive balloon, perspiring,
|
|
furious, spluttering. He reached for the gharry-wallah with vicious
|
|
flourishes of a fist as dumpy and red as a lump of raw meat. He
|
|
roared at him to be off, to go on. Where? Into the Pacific, perhaps.
|
|
The driver lashed; the pony snorted, reared once, and darted off at
|
|
a gallop. Where? To Apia? To Honolulu? He had 6000 miles of
|
|
tropical belt to disport himself in, and I did not hear the precise
|
|
address. A snorting pony snatched him into "Ewigkeit" in the
|
|
twinkling of an eye, and I never saw him again; and, what's more,
|
|
I don't know of anybody that ever had a glimpse of him after he
|
|
departed from my knowledge sitting inside a ramshackle little
|
|
gharry that fled round the corner in a white smother of dust. He
|
|
departed, disappeared, vanished, absconded; and absurdly enough
|
|
it looked as though he had taken that gharry with him, for never
|
|
again did I come across a sorrel pony with a slit ear and a lackadaisi-
|
|
cal Tamil driver afflicted by a sore foot. The Pacific is indeed big;
|
|
but whether he found a place for a display of his talents in it or not,
|
|
the fact remains he had flown into space like a witch on a broom-
|
|
stick. The little chap with his arm in a sling started to run after the
|
|
carriage, bleating, "Captain! I say, Captain! I sa-a-ay!" -- but after
|
|
a few steps stopped short, hung his head, and walked back slowly.
|
|
At the sharp rattle of the wheels the young fellow spun round where
|
|
he stood. He made no other movement, no gesture, no sign, and
|
|
remained facing in the new direction after the gharry had swung
|
|
out of sight.
|
|
|
|
'All this happened in much less time than it takes to tell, since I
|
|
am trying to interpret for you into slow speech the instantaneous
|
|
effect of visual impressions. Next moment the half-caste clerk, sent
|
|
by Archie to look a little after the poor castaways of the Patna, came
|
|
upon the scene. He ran out eager and bareheaded, looking right
|
|
and left, and very full of his mission. It was doomed to be a failure
|
|
as far as the principal person was concerned, but he approached
|
|
the others with fussy importance, and, almost immediately, found
|
|
himself involved in a violent altercation with the chap that carried
|
|
his arm in a sling, and who turned out to be extremely anxious for
|
|
a row. He wasn't going to be ordered about -- "not he, b'gosh." He
|
|
wouldn't be terrified with a pack of lies by a cocky half-bred little
|
|
quill-driver. He was not going to be bullied by "no object of that
|
|
sort," if the story were true "ever so"! He bawled his wish, his
|
|
desire, his determination to go to bed. "If you weren't a God-
|
|
forsaken Portuguee," I heard him yell, "you would know that the
|
|
hospital is the right place for me." He pushed the fist of his sound
|
|
arm under the other's nose; a crowd began to collect; the half-caste,
|
|
flustered, but doing his best to appear dignified, tried to explain his
|
|
intentions. I went away without waiting to see the end.
|
|
|
|
'But it so happened that I had a man in the hospital at the time,
|
|
and going there to see about him the day before the opening of the
|
|
Inquiry, I saw in the white men's ward that little chap tossing on
|
|
his back, with his arm in splints, and quite light-headed. To my
|
|
great surprise the other one, the long individual with drooping
|
|
white moustache, had also found his way there. I remembered I
|
|
had seen him slinking away during the quarrel, in a half prance,
|
|
half shuffle, and trying very hard not to look scared. He was no
|
|
stranger to the port, it seems, and in his distress was able to make
|
|
tracks straight for Mariani's billiard-room and grog-shop near the
|
|
bazaar. That unspeakable vagabond, Mariani, who had known the
|
|
man and had ministered to his vices in one or two other places,
|
|
kissed the ground, in a manner of speaking, before him, and shut
|
|
him up with a supply of bottles in an upstairs room of his infamous
|
|
hovel. It appears he was under some hazy apprehension as to his
|
|
personal safety, and wished to be concealed. However, Mariani told
|
|
me a long time after (when he came on board one day to dun my
|
|
steward for the price of some cigars) that he would have done more
|
|
for him without asking any questions, from gratitude for some
|
|
unholy favour received very many years ago -- as far as I could make
|
|
out. He thumped twice his brawny chest, rolled enormous black-
|
|
and-white eyes glistening with tears: "Antonio never forget --
|
|
Antonio never forget!" What was the precise nature of the immoral
|
|
obligation I never learned, but be it what it may, he had every
|
|
facility given him to remain under lock and key, with a chair, a
|
|
table, a mattress in a corner, and a litter of fallen plaster on the
|
|
floor, in an irrational state of funk, and keeping up his pecker with
|
|
such tonics as Mariani dispensed. This lasted till the evening of the
|
|
third day, when, after letting out a few horrible screams, he found
|
|
himself compelled to seek safety in flight from a legion of centi-
|
|
pedes. He burst the door open, made one leap for dear life down the
|
|
crazy little stairway, landed bodily on Mariani's stomach, picked
|
|
himself up, and bolted like a rabbit into the streets. The police
|
|
plucked him off a garbage-heap in the early morning. At first he
|
|
had a notion they were carrying him off to be hanged, and fought
|
|
for liberty like a hero, but when I sat down by his bed he had
|
|
been very quiet for two days. His lean bronzed head, with white
|
|
moustaches, looked fine and calm on the pillow, like the head of a
|
|
war-worn soldier with a child-like soul, had it not been for a hint
|
|
of spectral alarm that lurked in the blank glitter of his glance,
|
|
resembling a nondescript form of a terror crouching silently behind
|
|
a pane of glass. He was so extremely calm, that I began to indulge
|
|
in the eccentric hope of hearing something explanatory of the fam-
|
|
ous affair from his point of view. Why I longed to go grubbing into
|
|
the deplorable details of an occurrence which, after all, concerned
|
|
me no more than as a member of an obscure body of men held
|
|
together by a community of inglorious toil and by fidelity to a
|
|
certain standard of conduct, I can't explain. You may call it an
|
|
unhealthy curiosity if you like; but I have a distinct notion I wished
|
|
to find something. Perhaps, unconsciously, I hoped I would find
|
|
that something, some profound and redeeming cause, some merci-
|
|
ful explanation, some convincing shadow of an excuse. I see well
|
|
enough now that I hoped for the impossible -- for the laying of what
|
|
is the most obstinate ghost of man's creation, of the uneasy doubt
|
|
uprising like a mist, secret and gnawing like a worm, and more
|
|
chilling than the certitude of death -- the doubt of the sovereign
|
|
power enthroned in a fixed standard of conduct. It is the hardest
|
|
thing to stumble against; it is the thing that breeds yelling panics
|
|
and good little quiet villainies; it's the true shadow of calamity. Did
|
|
I believe in a miracle? and why did I desire it so ardently? Was it
|
|
for my own sake that I wished to find some shadow of an excuse
|
|
for that young fellow whom I had never seen before, but whose
|
|
appearance alone added a touch of personal concern to the thoughts
|
|
suggested by the knowledge of his weakness -- made it a thing of
|
|
mystery and terror -- like a hint of a destructive fate ready for us all
|
|
whose youth -- in its day -- had resembled his youth? I fear that such
|
|
was the secret motive of my prying. I was, and no mistake, looking
|
|
for a miracle. The only thing that at this distance of time strikes me
|
|
as miraculous is the extent of my imbecility. I positively hoped to
|
|
obtain from that battered and shady invalid some exorcism against
|
|
the ghost of doubt. I must have been pretty desperate too, for,
|
|
without loss of time, after a few indifferent and friendly sentences
|
|
which he answered with languid readiness, just as any decent sick
|
|
man would do, I produced the word Patna wrapped up in a delicate
|
|
question as in a wisp of floss silk. I was delicate selfishly; I did not
|
|
want to startle him; I had no solicitude for him; I was not furious
|
|
with him and sorry for him: his experience was of no importance,
|
|
his redemption would have had no point for me. He had grown old
|
|
in minor iniquities, and could no longer inspire aversion or pity.
|
|
He repeated Patna? interrogatively, seemed to make a short effort
|
|
of memory, and said: "Quite right. I am an old stager out here. I
|
|
saw her go down." I made ready to vent my indignation at such a
|
|
stupid lie, when he added smoothly, "She was full of reptiles."
|
|
|
|
'This made me pause. What did he mean? The unsteady phantom
|
|
of terror behind his glassy eyes seemed to stand still and look into
|
|
mine wistfully. "They turned me out of my bunk in the middle
|
|
watch to look at her sinking," he pursued in a reflective tone. His
|
|
voice sounded alarmingly strong all at once. I was sorry for my
|
|
folly. There was no snowy-winged coif of a nursing sister to be seen
|
|
flitting in the perspective of the ward; but away in the middle of a
|
|
long row of empty iron bedsteads an accident case from some ship
|
|
in the Roads sat up brown and gaunt with a white bandage set
|
|
rakishly on the forehead. Suddenly my interesting invalid shot out
|
|
an arm thin like a tentacle and clawed my shoulder. "Only my eyes
|
|
were good enough to see. I am famous for my eyesight. That's why
|
|
they called me, I expect. None of them was quick enough to see her
|
|
go, but they saw that she was gone right enough, and sang out
|
|
together -- like this . " . . . A wolfish howl searched the very recesses
|
|
of my soul. "Oh! make 'im dry up," whined the accident case
|
|
irritably. "You don't believe me, I suppose," went on the other,
|
|
with an air of ineffable conceit. "I tell you there are no such eyes
|
|
as mine this side of the Persian Gulf. Look under the bed."
|
|
|
|
'Of course I stooped instantly. I defy anybody not to have done
|
|
so. "What can you see?" he asked. "Nothing," I said, feeling
|
|
awfully ashamed of myself. He scrutinised my face with wild and
|
|
withering contempt. "Just so," he said, "but if I were to look I
|
|
could see -- there's no eyes like mine, I tell you." Again he clawed,
|
|
pulling at me downwards in his eagerness to relieve himself by a
|
|
confidential communication. "Millions of pink toads. There's no
|
|
eyes like mine. Millions of pink toads. It's worse than seeing a ship
|
|
sink. I could look at sinking ships and smoke my pipe all day long.
|
|
Why don't they give me back my pipe? I would get a smoke while
|
|
I watched these toads. The ship was full of them. They've got to
|
|
be watched, you know." He winked facetiously. The perspiration
|
|
dripped on him off my head, my drill coat clung to my wet back:
|
|
the afternoon breeze swept impetuously over the row of bedsteads,
|
|
the stiff folds of curtains stirred perpendicularly, rattling on brass
|
|
rods, the covers of empty beds blew about noiselessly near the bare
|
|
floor all along the line, and I shivered to the very marrow. The soft
|
|
wind of the tropics played in that naked ward as bleak as a winter's
|
|
gale in an old barn at home. "Don't you let him start his hollering,
|
|
mister," hailed from afar the accident casell in a disuessed angry
|
|
shout that came ringing between the walls like a quavering call
|
|
down a tunnel. The clawing hand hauled at my shoulder; he leered
|
|
at me knowingly. "The ship was full of them, you know, and we
|
|
had to clear out on the strict Q.T.," he whispered with extreme
|
|
rapidity. "All pink. All pink -- as big as mastiffs, with an eye on the
|
|
top of the head and claws all round their ugly mouths. Ough!
|
|
Ough!" Quick jerks as of galvanic shocks disclosed under the flat
|
|
coverlet the outlines of meagre and agitated legs; he let go my
|
|
shoulder and reached after something in the air; his body trembled
|
|
tensely like a released harp-string; and while I looked down, the
|
|
spectral horror in him broke through his glassy gaze. Instantly his
|
|
face of an old soldier, with its noble and calm outlines, became
|
|
decomposed before my eyes by the corruption of stealthy cunning,
|
|
of an abominable caution and of desperate fear. He restrained a cry --
|
|
"Ssh! what are they doing now down there?" he asked, pointing to
|
|
the floor with fantastic precautions of voice and gesture, whose
|
|
meaning, borne upon my mind in a lurid flash, made me very sick
|
|
of my cleverness. "They are all asleep," I answered, watching him
|
|
narrowly. That was it. That's what he wanted to hear; these were
|
|
the exact words that could calm him. He drew a long breath. "Ssh!
|
|
Quiet, steady. I am an old stager out here. I know them brutes.
|
|
Bash in the head of the first that stirs. There's too many of them,
|
|
and she won't swim more than ten minutes." He panted again.
|
|
"Hurry up," he yelled suddenly, and went on in a steady scream:
|
|
"They are all awake -- millions of them. They are trampling on me!
|
|
Wait! Oh, wait! I'll smash them in heaps like flies. Wait for me!
|
|
Help! H-e-elp!" An interminable and sustained howl completed my
|
|
discomfiture. I saw in the distance the accident case raise deplorably
|
|
both his hands to his bandaged head; a dresser, aproned to the chin
|
|
showed himself in the vista of the ward, as if seen in the small end
|
|
of a telescope. I confessed myself fairly routed, and without more
|
|
ado, stepping out through one of the long windows, escaped into
|
|
the outside gallery. The howl pursued me like a vengeance. I turned
|
|
into a deserted landing, and suddenly all became very still and quiet
|
|
around me, and I descended the bare and shiny staircase in a silence
|
|
that enabled me to compose my distracted thoughts. Down below
|
|
I met one of the resident surgeons who was crossing the courtyard
|
|
and stopped me. "Been to see your man, Captain? I think we may
|
|
let him go to-morrow. These fools have no notion of taking care of
|
|
themselves, though. I say, we've got the chief engineer of that
|
|
pilgrim ship here. A curious case. D.T.'s of the worst kind. He has
|
|
been drinking hard in that Greek's or Italian's grog-shop for three
|
|
days. What can you expect? Four bottles of that kind of brandy a
|
|
day, I am told. Wonderful, if true. Sheeted with boiler-iron inside
|
|
I should think. The head, ah! the head, of course, gone, but the
|
|
curious part is there's some sort of method in his raving. I am trying
|
|
to find out. Most unusual -- that thread of logic in such a delirium.
|
|
Traditionally he ought to see snakes, but he doesn't. Good old
|
|
tradition's at a discount nowadays. Eh! His -- er -- visions are
|
|
batrachian. Ha! ha! No, seriously, I never remember being so inter-
|
|
ested in a case of jim-jams before. He ought to be dead, don't you
|
|
know, after such a festive experiment. Oh! he is a tough object.
|
|
Four-and-twenty years of the tropics too. You ought really to take
|
|
a peep at him. Noble-looking old boozer. Most extraordinary man
|
|
I ever met -- medically, of course. Won't you?"
|
|
|
|
'I had been all along exhibiting the usual polite signs of interest,
|
|
but now assuming an air of regret I murmured of want of time, and
|
|
shook hands in a hurry. "I say," he cried after me; "he can't attend
|
|
that inquiry. Is his evidence material, you think?"
|
|
|
|
' "Not in the least," I called back from the gateway.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 6
|
|
|
|
'The authorities were evidently of the same opinion. The inquiry
|
|
was not adjourned. It was held on the appointed day to satisfy the
|
|
law, and it was well attended because of its human interest, no
|
|
doubt. There was no incertitude as to facts -- as to the one material
|
|
fact, I mean. How the Patna came by her hurt it was impossible to
|
|
find out; the court did not expect to find out; and in the whole
|
|
audience there was not a man who cared. Yet, as I've told you, all
|
|
the sailors in the port attended, and the waterside business was fully
|
|
represented. Whether they knew it or not, the interest that drew
|
|
them there was purely psychological -- the expectation of some
|
|
essential disclosure as to the strength, the power, the horror, of
|
|
human emotions. Naturally nothing of the kind could be disclosed.
|
|
The examination of the only man able and willing to face it was
|
|
beating futilely round the well-known fact, and the play of questions
|
|
upon it was as instructive as the tapping with a hammer on an iron
|
|
box, were the object to find out what's inside. However, an official
|
|
inquiry could not be any other thing. Its object was not the funda-
|
|
mental why, but the superficial how, of this affair.
|
|
|
|
'The young chap could have told them, and, though that very
|
|
thing was the thing that interested the audience, the questions put
|
|
to him necessarily led him away from what to me, for instance,
|
|
would have been the only truth worth knowing. You can't expect
|
|
the constituted authorities to inquire into the state of a man's soul --
|
|
or is it only of his liver? Their business was to come down upon
|
|
the consequences, and frankly, a casual police magistrate and two
|
|
nautical assessors are not much good for anything else. I don't mean
|
|
to imply these fellows were stupid. The magistrate was very patient.
|
|
One of the assessors was a sailing-ship skipper with a reddish beard,
|
|
and of a pious disposition. Brierly was the other. Big Brierly. Some
|
|
of you must have heard of Big Brierly -- the captain of the crack
|
|
ship of the Blue Star line. That's the man.
|
|
|
|
'He seemed consumedly bored by the honour thrust upon him.
|
|
He had never in his life made a mistake, never had an accident,
|
|
never a mishap, never a check in his steady rise, and he seemed to
|
|
be one of those lucky fellows who know nothing of indecision, much
|
|
less of self-mistrust. At thirty-two he had one of the best commands
|
|
going in the Eastern trade -- and, what's more, he thought a lot of
|
|
what he had. There was nothing like it in the world, and I suppose
|
|
if you had asked him point-blank he would have confessed that in
|
|
his opinion there was not such another commander. The choice
|
|
had fallen upon the right man. The rest of mankind that did not
|
|
command the sixteen-knot steel steamer Ossa were rather poor crea-
|
|
tures. He had saved lives at sea, had rescued ships in distress, had
|
|
a gold chronometer presented to him by the underwriters, and a
|
|
pair of binoculars with a suitable inscription from some foreign
|
|
Government, in commemoration of these services. He was acutely
|
|
aware of his merits and of his rewards. I liked him well enough,
|
|
though some I know -- meek, friendly men at that -- couldn't stand
|
|
him at any price. I haven't the slightest doubt he considered himself
|
|
vastly my superior -- indeed, had you been Emperor of East and
|
|
West, you could not have ignored your inferiority in his presence --
|
|
but I couldn't get up any real sentiment of offence. He did not
|
|
despise me for anything I could help, for anything I was -- don't
|
|
you know? I was a negligible quantity simply because I was not the
|
|
fortunate man of the earth, not Montague Brierly in command of
|
|
the Ossa, not the owner of an inscribed gold chronometer and of
|
|
silver-mounted binoculars testifying to the excellence of my sea-
|
|
manship and to my indomitable pluck; not possessed of an acute
|
|
sense of my merits and of my rewards, besides the love and worship
|
|
of a black retriever, the most wonderful of its kind -- for never was
|
|
such a man loved thus by such a dog. No doubt, to have all this
|
|
forced upon you was exasperating enough; but when I reflected that
|
|
I was associated in these fatal disadvantages with twelve hundred
|
|
millions of other more or less human beings, I found I could bear
|
|
my share of his good-natured and contemptuous pity for the sake
|
|
of something indefinite and attractive in the man. I have never
|
|
defined to myself this attraction, but there were moments when I
|
|
envied him. The sting of life could do no more to his complacent
|
|
soul than the scratch of a pin to the smooth face of a rock. This was
|
|
enviable. As I looked at him, flanking on one side the unassuming
|
|
pale-faced magistrate who presided at the inquiry, his self-satisfac-
|
|
tion presented to me and to the world a surface as hard as granite.
|
|
He committed suicide very soon after.
|
|
|
|
'No wonder Jim's case bored him, and while I thought with
|
|
something akin to fear of the immensity of his contempt for the
|
|
young man under examination, he was probably holding silent
|
|
inquiry into his own case. The verdict must have been of unmiti-
|
|
gated guilt, and he took the secret of the evidence with him in that
|
|
leap into the sea. If I understand anything of men, the matter was
|
|
no doubt of the gravest import, one of those trifles that awaken
|
|
ideas -- start into life some thought with which a man unused to
|
|
such a companionship finds it impossible to live. I am in a position
|
|
to know that it wasn't money, and it wasn't drink, and it wasn't
|
|
woman. He jumped overboard at sea barely a week after the end of
|
|
the inquiry, and less than three days after leaving port on his out-
|
|
ward passage; as though on that exact spot in the midst of waters
|
|
he had suddenly perceived the gates of the other world flung open
|
|
wide for his reception.
|
|
|
|
'Yet it was not a sudden impulse. His grey-headed mate, a first-
|
|
rate sailor and a nice old chap with strangers, but in his relations
|
|
with his commander the surliest chief officer I've ever seen, would
|
|
tell the story with tears in his eyes. It appears that when he came
|
|
on deck in the morning Brierly had been writing in the chart-room.
|
|
"It was ten minutes to four," he said, "and the middle watch was
|
|
not relieved yet of course. He heard my voice on the bridge speaking
|
|
to the second mate, and called me in. I was loth to go, and that's
|
|
the truth, Captain Marlow -- I couldn't stand poor Captain Brierly,
|
|
I tell you with shame; we never know what a man is made of. He
|
|
had been promoted over too many heads, not counting my own,
|
|
and he had a damnable trick of making you feel small, nothing but
|
|
by the way he said 'Good morning.' I never addressed him, sir, but
|
|
on matters of duty, and then it was as much as I could do to keep
|
|
a civil tongue in my head." (He flattered himself there. I often
|
|
wondered how Brierly could put up with his manners for more than
|
|
half a voyage.) "I've a wife and children," he went on, "and I
|
|
had been ten years in the Company, always expecting the next
|
|
command -- more fool I. Says he, just like this: 'Come in here, Mr.
|
|
Jones,' in that swagger voice of his -- 'Come in here, Mr. lones.' In
|
|
I went. 'We'll lay down her position,' says he, stooping over the
|
|
chart, a pair of dividers in hand. By the standing orders, the officer
|
|
going off duty would have done that at the end of his watch. How-
|
|
ever, I said nothing, and looked on while he marked off the ship's
|
|
position with a tiny cross and wrote the date and the time. I can see
|
|
him this moment writing his neat figures: seventeen, eight, four A.
|
|
M. The year would be written in red ink at the top of the chart. He
|
|
never used his charts more than a year, Captain Brierly didn't. I've
|
|
the chart now. When he had done he stands looking down at the
|
|
mark he had made and smiling to himself, then looks up at me.
|
|
'Thirty-two miles more as she goes,' says he, 'and then we shall be
|
|
clear, and you may alter the course twenty degrees to the south-
|
|
ward.'
|
|
|
|
' "We were passing to the north of the Hector Bank that voyage.
|
|
I said, 'All right, sir,' wondering what he was fussing about, since
|
|
I had to call him before altering the course anyhow. lust then eight
|
|
bells were struck: we came out on the bridge, and the second mate
|
|
before going off mentions in the usual way -- 'Seventy-one on the
|
|
log.' Captain Brierly looks at the compass and then all round. It
|
|
was dark and clear, and all the stars were out as plain as on a frosty
|
|
night in high latitudes. Suddenly he says with a sort of a little sigh:
|
|
'I am going aft, and shall set the log at zero for you myself, so that
|
|
there can be no mistake. Thirty-two miles more on this course and
|
|
then you are safe. Let's see -- the correction on the log is six per
|
|
cent. additive; say, then, thirty by the dial to run, and you may
|
|
come twenty degrees to starboard at once. No use losing any dis-
|
|
tance -- is there?' I had never heard him talk so much at a stretch,
|
|
and to no purpose as it seemed to me. I said nothing. He went down
|
|
the ladder, and the dog, that was always at his heels whenever he
|
|
moved, night or day, followed, sliding nose first, after him. I heard
|
|
his boot-heels tap, tap on the after-deck, then he stopped and spoke
|
|
to the dog -- 'Go back, Rover. On the bridge, boy! Go on -- get.'
|
|
Then he calls out to me from the dark, 'Shut that dog up in the
|
|
chart-room, Mr. Jones -- will you?'
|
|
|
|
' "This was the last time I heard his voice, Captain Marlow.
|
|
These are the last words he spoke in the hearing of any living human
|
|
being, sir." At this point the old chap's voice got quite unsteady.
|
|
"He was afraid the poor brute would jump after him, don't you
|
|
see?" he pursued with a quaver. "Yes, Captain Marlow. He set the
|
|
log for me; he -- would you believe it? -- he put a drop of oil in it
|
|
too. There was the oil-feeder where he left it near by. The boat --
|
|
swain's mate got the hose along aft to wash down at half-past five;
|
|
by-and-by he knocks off and runs up on the bridge -- 'Will you
|
|
please come aft, Mr. Jones,' he says. 'There's a funny thing. I don't
|
|
like to touch it.' It was Captain Brierly's gold chronometer watch
|
|
carefully hung under the rail by its chain.
|
|
|
|
' "As soon as my eyes fell on it something struck me, and I knew,
|
|
sir. My legs got soft under me. It was as if I had seen him go over;
|
|
and I could tell how far behind he was left too. The taffrail-log
|
|
marked eighteen miles and three-quarters, and four iron belaying-
|
|
pins were missing round the mainmast. Put them in his pockets to
|
|
help him down, I suppose; but, Lord! what's four iron pins to a
|
|
powerful man like Captain Brierly. Maybe his confidence in himself
|
|
was just shook a bit at the last. That's the only sign of fluster he
|
|
gave in his whole life, I should think; but I am ready to answer for
|
|
him, that once over he did not try to swim a stroke, the same as he
|
|
would have had pluck enough to keep up all day long on the bare
|
|
chance had he fallen overboard accidentally. Yes, sir. He was
|
|
second to none -- if he said so himself, as I heard him once. He had
|
|
written two letters in the middle watch, one to the Company and
|
|
the other to me. He gave me a lot of instructions as to the passage --
|
|
I had been in the trade before he was out of his time -- and no end
|
|
of hints as to my conduct with our people in Shanghai, so that I
|
|
should keep the command of the Ossa. He wrote like a father would
|
|
to a favourite son, Captain Marlow, and I was five-and-twenty years
|
|
his senior and had tasted salt water before he was fairly breeched.
|
|
In his letter to the owners -- it was left open for me to see -- he said
|
|
that he had always done his duty by them -- up to that moment --
|
|
and even now he was not betraying their confidence, since he was
|
|
leaving the ship to as competent a seaman as could be found --
|
|
meaning me, sir, meaning me! He told them that if the last act of
|
|
his life didn't take away all his credit with them, they would give
|
|
weight to my faithful service and to his warm recommendation,
|
|
when about to fill the vacancy made by his death. And much more
|
|
like this, sir. I couldn't believe my eyes. It made me feel queer all
|
|
over," went on the old chap, in great perturbation, and squashing
|
|
something in the corner of his eye with the end of a thumb as broad
|
|
as a spatula. "You would think, sir, he had jumped overboard only
|
|
to give an unlucky man a last show to get on. What with the shock
|
|
of him going in this awful rash way, and thinking myself a made
|
|
man by that chance, I was nearly off my chump for a week. But no
|
|
fear. The captain of the Pelion was shifted into the Ossa -- came
|
|
aboard in Shanghai -- a little popinjay, sir, in a grey check suit, with
|
|
his hair parted in the middle. 'Aw -- I am -- aw -- your new captain,
|
|
Mister -- Mister -- aw -- Jones.' He was drowned in scent -- fairly
|
|
stunk with it, Captain Marlow. I dare say it was the look I gave him
|
|
that made him stammer. He mumbled something about my natural
|
|
disappointment -- I had better know at once that his chief officer
|
|
got the promotion to the Pelion -- he had nothing to do with it, of
|
|
course -- supposed the office knew best -- sorry.... Says I, 'Don't
|
|
you mind old Jones, sir; dam' his soul, he's used to it.' I could see
|
|
directly I had shocked his delicate ear, and while we sat at our first
|
|
tiffin together he began to find fault in a nasty manner with this and
|
|
that in the ship. I never heard such a voice out of a Punch and Judy
|
|
show. I set my teeth hard, and glued my eyes to my plate, and held
|
|
my peace as long as I could; but at last I had to say something.
|
|
Up he jumps tiptoeing, ruffling all his pretty plumes, like a little
|
|
fighting-cock. 'You'll find you have a different person to deal with
|
|
than the late Captain Brierly.' 'I've found it,' says I, very glum, but
|
|
pretending to be mighty busy with my steak. 'You are an old ruffian,
|
|
Mister -- aw -- Jones; and what's more, you are known for an old
|
|
ruffian in the employ,' he squeaks at me. The damned bottle-wash-
|
|
ers stood about listening with their mouths stretched from ear to
|
|
ear. 'I may be a hard case,' answers I, 'but I ain't so far gone as to
|
|
put up with the sight of you sitting in Captain Brierly's chair. ' With
|
|
that I lay down my knife and fork. 'You would like to sit in it
|
|
yourself -- that's where the shoe pinches,' he sneers. I left the saloon,
|
|
got my rags together, and was on the quay with all my dunnage
|
|
about my feet before the stevedores had turned to again. Yes.
|
|
Adrift -- on shore -- after ten years' service -- and with a poor woman
|
|
and four children six thousand miles off depending on my half-pay
|
|
for every mouthful they ate. Yes, sir! I chucked it rather than hear
|
|
Captain Brierly abused. He left me his night-glasses -- here they are;
|
|
and he wished me to take care of the dog -- here he is. Hallo, Rover,
|
|
poor boy. Where's the captain, Rover?" The dog looked up at us
|
|
with mournful yellow eyes, gave one desolate bark, and crept under
|
|
the table.
|
|
|
|
'All this was taking place, more than two years afterwards, on
|
|
board that nautical ruin the Fire-Queen this Jones had got charge
|
|
of -- quite by a funny accident, too -- from Matherson -- mad Mather-
|
|
son they generally called him -- the same who used to hang out in
|
|
Hai-phong, you know, before the occupation days. The old chap
|
|
snuffled on--
|
|
|
|
' "Ay, sir, Captain Brierly will be remembered here, if there's no
|
|
other place on earth. I wrote fully to his father and did not get a
|
|
word in reply -- neither Thank you, nor Go to the devil! -- nothing!
|
|
Perhaps they did not want to know."
|
|
|
|
'The sight of that watery-eyed old Jones mopping his bald head
|
|
with a red cotton handkerchief, the sorrowing yelp of the dog, the
|
|
squalor of that fly-blown cuddy which was the only shrine of his
|
|
memory, threw a veil of inexpressibly mean pathos over Brierly's
|
|
remembered figure, the posthumous revenge of fate for that belief
|
|
in his own splendour which had almost cheated his life of its legit-
|
|
imate terrors. Almost! Perhaps wholly. Who can tell what flattering
|
|
view he had induced himself to take of his own suicide?
|
|
|
|
' "Why did he commit the rash act, Captain Marlow -- can you
|
|
think?" asked Jones, pressing his palms together. "Why? It beats
|
|
me! Why?" He slapped his low and wrinkled forehead. "If he had
|
|
been poor and old and in debt -- and never a show -- or else mad.
|
|
But he wasn't of the kind that goes mad, not he. You trust me.
|
|
What a mate don't know about his skipper isn't worth knowing.
|
|
Young, healthy, well off, no cares.... I sit here sometimes think-
|
|
ing, thinking, till my head fairly begins to buzz. There was some
|
|
reason."
|
|
|
|
' "You may depend on it, Captain Jones," said I, "it wasn't
|
|
anything that would have disturbed much either of us two," I said;
|
|
and then, as if a light had been flashed into the muddle of his brain,
|
|
poor old Jones found a last word of amazing profundity. He blew
|
|
his nose, nodding at me dolefully: "Ay, ay! neither you nor I, sir,
|
|
had ever thought so much of ourselves."
|
|
|
|
'Of course the recollection of my last conversation with Brierly
|
|
is tinged with the knowledge of his end that followed so close upon
|
|
it. I spoke with him for the last time during the progress of the
|
|
inquiry. It was after the first adjournment, and he came up with me
|
|
in the street. He was in a state of irritation, which I noticed with
|
|
surprise, his usual behaviour when he condescended to converse
|
|
being perfectly cool, with a trace of amused tolerance, as if the
|
|
existence of his interlocutor had been a rather good joke. "They
|
|
caught me for that inquiry, you see," he began, and for a while
|
|
enlarged complainingly upon the inconveniences of daily attend-
|
|
ance in court. "And goodness knows how long it will last. Three
|
|
days, I suppose." I heard him out in silence; in my then opinion it
|
|
was a way as good as another of putting on side. "What's the use
|
|
of it? It is the stupidest set-out you can imagine," he pursued hotly.
|
|
I remarked that there was no option. He interrupted me with a sort
|
|
of pent-up violence. "I feel like a fool all the time." I looked up at
|
|
him. This was going very far -- for Brierly -- when talking of Brierly.
|
|
He stopped short, and seizing the lapel of my coat, gave it a slight
|
|
tug. "Why are we tormenting that young chap?" he asked. This
|
|
question chimed in so well to the tolling of a certain thought of
|
|
mine that, with the image of the absconding renegade in my eye, I
|
|
answered at once, "Hanged if I know, unless it be that he lets you."
|
|
I was astonished to see him fall into line, so to speak, with that
|
|
utterance, which ought to have been tolerably cryptic. He said
|
|
angrily, "Why, yes. Can't he see that wretched skipper of his has
|
|
cleared out? What does he expect to happen? Nothing can save him.
|
|
He's done for." We walked on in silence a few steps. "Why eat all
|
|
that dirt?" he exclaimed, with an oriental energy of expression --
|
|
about the only sort of energy you can find a trace of east of the fiftieth
|
|
meridian. I wondered greatly at the direction of his thoughts, but
|
|
now I strongly suspect it was strictly in character: at bottom poor
|
|
Brierly must have been thinking of himself. I pointed out to him
|
|
that the skipper of the Patna was known to have feathered his
|
|
nest pretty well, and could procure almost anywhere the means
|
|
of getting away. With Jim it was otherwise: the Government was
|
|
keeping him in the Sailors' Home for the time being, and probably
|
|
he hadn't a penny in his pocket to bless himself with. It costs some
|
|
money to run away. "Does it? Not always," he said, with a bitter
|
|
laugh, and to some further remark of mine -- "Well, then, let him
|
|
creep twenty feet underground and stay there! By heavens! I
|
|
would." I don't know why his tone provoked me, and I said, "There
|
|
is a kind of courage in facing it out as he does, knowing very well
|
|
that if he went away nobody would trouble to run after hmm."
|
|
"Courage be hanged!" growled Brierly. "That sort of courage is of
|
|
no use to keep a man straight, and I don't care a snap for such
|
|
courage. If you were to say it was a kind of cowardice now -- of
|
|
softness. I tell you what, I will put up two hundred rupees if you
|
|
put up another hundred and undertake to make the beggar clear
|
|
out early to-morrow morning. The fellow's a gentleman if he ain't
|
|
fit to be touched -- he will understand. He must! This infernal
|
|
publicity is too shocking: there he sits while all these confounded
|
|
natives, serangs, lascars, quartermasters, are giving evidence that's
|
|
enough to burn a man to ashes with shame. This is abominable.
|
|
Why, Marlow, don't you think, don't you feel, that this is abomin-
|
|
able; don't you now -- come -- as a seaman? If he went away all this
|
|
would stop at once." Brierly said these words with a most unusual
|
|
animation, and made as if to reach after his pocket-book. I
|
|
restrained him, and declared coldly that the cowardice of these four
|
|
men did not seem to me a matter of such great importance. "And
|
|
you call yourself a seaman, I suppose," he pronounced angrily. I
|
|
said that's what I called myself, and I hoped I was too. He heard
|
|
me out, and made a gesture with his big arm that seemed to deprive
|
|
me of my individuality, to push me away into the crowd. "The
|
|
worst of it," he said, "is that all you fellows have no sense of dignity;
|
|
you don't think enough of what you are supposed to be."
|
|
|
|
'We had been walking slowly meantime, and now stopped
|
|
opposite the harbour office, in sight of the very spot from which
|
|
the immense captain of the Patna had vanished as utterly as a tiny
|
|
feather blown away in a hurricane. I smiled. Brierly went on: "This
|
|
is a disgrace. We've got all kinds amongst us -- some anointed scoun-
|
|
drels in the lot; but, hang it, we must preserve professional decency
|
|
or we become no better than so many tinkers going about loose. We
|
|
are trusted. Do you understand? -- trusted! Frankly, I don't care a
|
|
snap for all the pilgrims that ever came out of Asia, but a decent
|
|
man would not have behaved like this to a full cargo of old rags in
|
|
bales. We aren't an organised body of men, and the only thing that
|
|
holds us together is just the name for that kind of decency. Such an
|
|
affair destroys one's confidence. A man may go pretty near through
|
|
his whole sea-life without any call to show a stiff upper lip. But
|
|
when the call comes . . . Aha! . . . If I . . ."
|
|
|
|
'He broke off, and in a changed tone, "I'll give you two hundred
|
|
rupees now, Marlow, and you just talk to that chap. Confound him!
|
|
I wish he had never come out here. Fact is, I rather think some of
|
|
my people know his. The old man's a parson, and I remember now
|
|
I met him once when staying with my cousin in Essex last year. If
|
|
I am not mistaken, the old chap seemed rather to fancy his sailor
|
|
son. Horrible. I can't do it myself -- but you . . ."
|
|
|
|
'Thus, apropos of Jim, I had a glimpse of the real Brierly a few
|
|
days before he committed his reality and his sham together to the
|
|
keeping of the sea. Of course I declined to meddle. The tone of this
|
|
last "but you" (poor Brierly couldn't help it), that seemed to imply
|
|
I was no more noticeable than an insect, caused me to look at the
|
|
proposal with indignation, and on account of that provocation, or
|
|
for some other reason, I became positive in my mind that the inquiry
|
|
was a severe punishment to that Jim, and that his facing it -- practi-
|
|
cally of his own free will -- was a redeeming feature in his abominable
|
|
case. I hadn't been so sure of it before. Brierly went off in a huff.
|
|
At the time his state of mind was more of a mystery to me than it
|
|
is now.
|
|
|
|
'Next day, coming into court late, I sat by myself. Of course I
|
|
could not forget the conversation I had with Brierly, and now I had
|
|
them both under my eyes. The demeanour of one suggested gloomy
|
|
impudence and of the other a contemptuous boredom; yet one atti-
|
|
tude might not have been truer than the other, and I was aware that
|
|
one was not true. Brierly was not bored -- he was exasperated; and
|
|
if so, then Jim might not have been impudent. According to my
|
|
theory he was not. I imagined he was hopeless. Then it was that our
|
|
glances met. They met, and the look he gave me was discouraging
|
|
of any intention I might have had to speak to him. Upon either
|
|
hypothesis -- insolence or despair -- I felt I could be of no use to
|
|
him. This was the second day of the proceedings. Very soon after
|
|
that exchange of glances the inquiry was adjourned again to the
|
|
next day. The white men began to troop out at once. Jim had been
|
|
told to stand down some time before, and was able to leave amongst
|
|
the first. I saw his broad shoulders and his head outlined in the light
|
|
of the door, and while I made my way slowly out talking with some
|
|
one -- some stranger who had addressed me casually -- I could see
|
|
him from within the court-room resting both elbows on the balus-
|
|
uade of the verandah and turning his back on the small stream of
|
|
people trickling down the few steps. There was a murmur of voices
|
|
and a shuffle of boots.
|
|
|
|
'The next case was that of assault and battery committed upon a
|
|
money-lender, I believe; and the defendant -- a venerable villager
|
|
with a straight white beard -- sat on a mat just outside the door with
|
|
his sons, daughters, sons-in-law, their wives, and, I should think,
|
|
half the population of his village besides, squatting or standing
|
|
around him. A slim dark woman, with part of her back and one
|
|
black shoulder bared, and with a thin gold ring in her nose, sud-
|
|
denly began to talk in a high-pitched, shrewish tone. The man with
|
|
me instinctively looked up at her. We were then just through the
|
|
door, passing behind Jim's burly back.
|
|
|
|
'Whether those villagers had brought the yellow dog with them,
|
|
I don't know. Anyhow, a dog was there, weaving himself in and
|
|
out amongst people's legs in that mute stealthy way native dogs
|
|
have, and my companion stumbled over him. The dog leaped away
|
|
without a sound; the man, raising his voice a little, said with a slow
|
|
laugh, "Look at that wretched cur," and directly afterwards we
|
|
became separated by a lot of people pushing in. I stood back for a
|
|
moment against the wall while the stranger managed to get down
|
|
the steps and disappeared. I saw Jim spin round. He made a step
|
|
forward and barred my way. We were alone; he glared at me with
|
|
an air of stubborn resolution. I became aware I was being held up,
|
|
so to speak, as if in a wood. The verandah was empty by then, the
|
|
noise and movement in court had ceased: a great silence fell upon
|
|
the building, in which, somewhere far within, an oriental voice
|
|
began to whine abjectly. The dog, in the very act of trying to sneak
|
|
in at the door, sat down hurriedly to hunt for fleas.
|
|
|
|
' "Did you speak to me?" asked Jim very low, and bending for-
|
|
ward, not so much towards me but at me, if you know what I mean.
|
|
I said "No" at once. Something in the sound of that quiet tone of
|
|
his warned me to be on my defence. I watched him. It was very
|
|
much like a meeting in a wood, only more uncertain in its issue,
|
|
since he could possibly want neither my money nor my life -- nothing
|
|
that I could simply give up or defend with a clear conscience. "You
|
|
say you didn't," he said, very sombre. "But I heard." "Some mis-
|
|
take," I protested, utterly at a loss, and never taking my eyes off
|
|
him. To watch his face was like watching a darkening sky before a
|
|
clap of thunder, shade upon shade imperceptibly coming on, the
|
|
doom growing mysteriously intense in the calm of maturing viol-
|
|
ence.
|
|
|
|
' "As far as I know, I haven't opened my lips in your hearing,"
|
|
I affirmed with perfect truth. I was getting a little angry, too, at the
|
|
absurdity of this encounter. It strikes me now I have never in my
|
|
life been so near a beating -- I mean it literally; a beating with fists.
|
|
I suppose I had some hazy prescience of that eventuality being in
|
|
the air. Not that he was actively threatening me. On the contrary,
|
|
he was strangely passive -- don't you know? but he was lowering,
|
|
and, though not exceptionally big, he looked generally fit to demol-
|
|
ish a wall. The most reassuring symptom I noticed was a kind of
|
|
slow and ponderous hesitation, which I took as a tribute to the
|
|
evident sincerity of my manner and of my tone. We faced each
|
|
other. In the court the assault case was proceeding. I caught the
|
|
words: "Well -- buffalo -- stick -- in the greatness of my fear...."
|
|
|
|
' "What did you mean by staring at me all the morning?" said
|
|
Jim at last. He looked up and looked down again. "Did you expect
|
|
us all to sit with downcast eyes out of regard for your susceptibili-
|
|
ties?" I retorted sharply. I was not going to submit meekly to any
|
|
of his nonsense. He raised his eyes again, and this time continued
|
|
to look me straight in the face. "No. That's all right," he pro-
|
|
nounced with an air of deliberating with himself upon the truth of
|
|
this statement -- "that's all right. I am going through with that.
|
|
Only" -- and there he spoke a little faster -- "I won't let any man
|
|
call me names outside this court. There was a fellow with you. You
|
|
spoke to him -- oh yes -- I know; 'tis all very fine. You spoke to him,
|
|
but you meant me to hear...."
|
|
|
|
'I assured him he was under some extraordinary delusion. I had
|
|
no conception how it came about. "You thought I would be afraid
|
|
to resent this," he said, with just a faint tinge of bitterness. I was
|
|
interested enough to discern the slightest shades of expression, but
|
|
I was not in the least enlightened; yet I don't know what in these
|
|
words, or perhaps just the intonation of that phrase, induced me
|
|
suddenly to make all possible allowances for him. I ceased to be
|
|
annoyed at my unexpected predicament. It was some mistake on
|
|
his part; he was blundering, and I had an intuition that the blunder
|
|
was of an odious, of an unfortunate nature. I was anxious to end
|
|
this scene on grounds of decency, just as one is anxious to cut short
|
|
some unprovoked and abominable confidence. The funniest part
|
|
was, that in the midst of all these considerations of the higher order
|
|
I was conscious of a certain trepidation as to the possibility -- nay,
|
|
likelihood -- of this encounter ending in some disreputable brawl
|
|
which could not possibly be explained, and would make me ridicu-
|
|
lous. I did not hanker after a three days' celebrity as the man who
|
|
got a black eye or something of the sort from the mate of the Patna.
|
|
He, in all probability, did not care what he did, or at any rate would
|
|
be fully justified in his own eyes. It took no magician to see he was
|
|
amazingly angry about something, for all his quiet and even torpid
|
|
demeanour. I don't deny I was extremely desirous to pacify him at
|
|
all costs, had I only known what to do. But I didn't know, as you
|
|
may well imagine. It was a blackness without a single gleam. We
|
|
confronted each other in silence. He hung fire for about fifteen
|
|
seconds, then made a step nearer, and I made ready to ward off a
|
|
blow, though I don't think I moved a muscle. "If you were as big
|
|
as two men and as strong as six," he said very softly, "I would tell
|
|
you what I think of you. You . . ." "Stop!" I exclaimed. This
|
|
checked him for a second. "Before you tell me what you think of
|
|
me," I went on quickly, "will you kindly tell me what it is I've
|
|
said or done?" During the pause that ensued he surveyed me with
|
|
indignation, while I made supernatural efforts of memory, in which
|
|
I was hindered by the oriental voice within the court-room expostul-
|
|
ating with impassioned volubility against a charge of falsehood.
|
|
Then we spoke almost together. "I will soon show you I am not,"
|
|
he said, in a tone suggestive of a crisis. "I declare I don't know," I
|
|
protested earnestly at the same time. He tried to crush me by the
|
|
scorn of his glance. "Now that you see I am not afraid you try to
|
|
crawl out of it," he said. "Who's a cur now -- hey?" Then, at last,
|
|
I understood.
|
|
|
|
'He had been scanning my features as though looking for a place
|
|
where he would plant his fist. "I will allow no man," . . . he mum-
|
|
bled threateningly. It was, indeed, a hideous mistake; he had given
|
|
himself away utterly. I can't give you an idea how shocked I was. I
|
|
suppose he saw some reflection of my feelings in my face, because
|
|
his expression changed just a little. "Good God!" I stammered,
|
|
"you don't think I . . ." "But I am sure I've heard," he persisted,
|
|
raising his voice for the first time since the beginning of this deplor-
|
|
able scene. Then with a shade of disdain he added, "It wasn't you,
|
|
then? Very well; I'll find the other." "Don't be a fool," I cried in
|
|
exasperation; "it wasn't that at all." "I've heard," he said again
|
|
with an unshaken and sombre perseverance.
|
|
|
|
'There may be those who could have laughed at his pertinacity;
|
|
I didn't. Oh, I didn't! There had never been a man so mercilessly
|
|
shown up by his own natural impulse. A single word had stripped
|
|
him of his discretion -- of that discretion which is more necessary
|
|
to the decencies of our inner being than clothing is to the decorum
|
|
of our body. "Don't be a fool," I repeated. "But the other man said
|
|
it, you don't deny that?" he pronounced distinctly, and looking in
|
|
my face without flinching. "No, I don't deny," said I, returning
|
|
his gaze. At last his eyes followed downwards the direction of my
|
|
pointing finger. He appeared at first uncomprehending, then con-
|
|
founded, and at last amazed and scared as though a dog had been
|
|
a monster and he had never seen a dog before. "Nobody dreamt of
|
|
insulting you," I said.
|
|
|
|
'He contemplated the wretched animal, that moved no more than
|
|
an effigy: it sat with ears pricked and its sharp muzzle pointed
|
|
into the doorway, and suddenly snapped at a fly like a piece of
|
|
mechanism.
|
|
|
|
'I looked at him. The red of his fair sunburnt complexion deep-
|
|
ened suddenly under the down of his cheeks, invaded his forehead,
|
|
spread to the roots of his curly hair. His ears became intensely
|
|
crimson, and even the clear blue of his eyes was darkened many
|
|
shades by the rush of blood to his head. His lips pouted a little,
|
|
trembling as though he had been on the point of bursting into tears.
|
|
I perceived he was incapable of pronouncing a word from the excess
|
|
of his humiliation. From disappointment too -- who knows? Perhaps
|
|
he looked forward to that hammering he was going to give me
|
|
for rehabilitation, for appeasement? Who can tell what relief he
|
|
expected from this chance of a row? He was naive enough to expect
|
|
anything; but he had given himself away for nothing in this case.
|
|
He had been frank with himself -- let alone with me -- in the wild
|
|
hope of arriving in that way at some effective refutation, and the
|
|
stars had been ironically unpropitious. He made an inarticulate
|
|
noise in his throat like a man imperfectly stunned by a blow on the
|
|
head. It was pitiful.
|
|
|
|
'I didn't catch up again with him till well outside the gate. I had
|
|
even to trot a bit at the last, but when, out of breath at his elbow,
|
|
I taxed him with running away, he said, "Never!" and at once
|
|
turned at bay. I explained I never meant to say he was running away
|
|
from me. "From no man -- from not a single man on earth," he
|
|
affirmed with a stubborn mien. I forbore to point out the one obvi-
|
|
ous exception which would hold good for the bravest of us; I
|
|
thought he would find out by himself very soon. He looked at me
|
|
patiently while I was thinking of something to say, but I could find
|
|
nothing on the spur of the moment, and he began to walk on. I kept
|
|
up, and, anxious not to lose him, I said hurriedly that I couldn't
|
|
think of leaving him under a false impression of my -- of my -- I
|
|
stammered. The stupidity of the phrase appalled me while I was
|
|
trying to finish it, but the power of sentences has nothing to do with
|
|
their sense or the logic of their construction. My idiotic mumble
|
|
seemed to please him. He cut it short by saying, with courteous
|
|
placidity that argued an immense power of self-control or else a
|
|
wonderful elasticity of spirits -- "Altogether my mistake." I mar-
|
|
velled greatly at this expression: he might have been alluding to
|
|
some trifling occurrence. Hadn't he understood its deplorable
|
|
meaning? "You may well forgive me," he continued, and went on
|
|
a little moodily, "All these staring people in court seemed such fools
|
|
that -- that it might have been as I supposed."
|
|
|
|
'This opened suddenly a new view of him to my wonder. I looked
|
|
at him curiously and met his unabashed and impenetrable eyes. "I
|
|
can't put up with this kind of thing," he said, very simply, "and I
|
|
don't mean to. In court it's different; I've got to stand that -- and I
|
|
can do it too."
|
|
|
|
'I don't pretend I understood him. The views he let me have of
|
|
himself were like those glimpses through the shifting rents in a
|
|
thick fog -- bits of vivid and vanishing detail, giving no connected
|
|
idea of the general aspect of a country. They fed one's curiosity
|
|
without satisfying it; they were no good for purposes of orientation.
|
|
Upon the whole he was misleading. That's how I summed him up
|
|
to myself after he left me late in the evening. I had been staying at
|
|
the Malabar House for a few days, and on my pressing invitation
|
|
he dined with me there.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 7
|
|
|
|
'An outward-bound mail-boat had come in that afternoon, and
|
|
the big dining-room of the hotel was more than half full of people
|
|
with a-hundred-pounds-round-the-world tickets in their pockets.
|
|
There were married couples looking domesticated and bored with
|
|
each other in the midst of their travels; there were small parties
|
|
and large parties, and lone individuals dining solemnly or feasting
|
|
boisterously, but all thinking, conversing, joking, or scowling as
|
|
was their wont at home; and just as intelligently receptive of new
|
|
impressions as their trunks upstairs. Henceforth they would be
|
|
labelled as having passed through this and that place, and so would
|
|
be their luggage. They would cherish this distinction of their per-
|
|
sons, and preserve the gummed tickets on their portmanteaus as
|
|
documentary evidence, as the only permanent trace of their improv-
|
|
ing enterprise. The dark-faced servants tripped without noise over
|
|
the vast and polished floor; now and then a girl's laugh would be
|
|
heard, as innocent and empty as her mind, or, in a sudden hush of
|
|
crockery, a few words in an affected drawl from some wit embroid-
|
|
ering for the benefit of a grinning tableful the last funny story of
|
|
shipboard scandal. Two nomadic old maids, dressed up to kill,
|
|
worked acrimoniously through the bill of fare, whispering to each
|
|
other with faded lips, wooden-faced and bizarre, like two sumptu-
|
|
ous scarecrows. A little wine opened Jim's heart and loosened his
|
|
tongue. His appetite was good, too, I noticed. He seemed to have
|
|
buried somewhere the opening episode of our acquaintance. It was
|
|
like a thing of which there would be no more question in this world.
|
|
And all the time I had before me these blue, boyish eyes looking
|
|
straight into mine, this young face, these capable shoulders, the
|
|
open bronzed forehead with a white line under the roots of cluster-
|
|
ing fair hair, this appearance appealing at sight to all my sympathies:
|
|
this frank aspect, the artless smile, the youthful seriousness. He
|
|
was of the right sort; he was one of us. He talked soberly, with a
|
|
sort of composed unreserve, and with a quiet bearing that might
|
|
have been the outcome of manly self-control, of impudence, of
|
|
callousness, of a colossal unconsciousness, of a gigantic deception.
|
|
Who can tell! From our tone we might have been discussing a third
|
|
person, a football match, last year's weather. My mind floated in a
|
|
sea of conjectures till the turn of the conversation enabled me,
|
|
without being offensive, to remark that, upon the whole, this
|
|
inquiry must have been pretty trying to him. He darted his arm
|
|
across the tablecloth, and clutching my hand by the side of my
|
|
plate, glared fLxedly. I was startled. "It must be awfully hard," I
|
|
stammered, confused by this display of speechless feeling. "It is --
|
|
hell," he burst out in a muffled voice.
|
|
|
|
'This movement and these words caused two well-groomed male
|
|
globe-trotters at a neighbouring table to look up in alarm from their
|
|
iced pudding. I rose, and we passed into the front gallery for coffee
|
|
and cigars.
|
|
|
|
'On little octagon tables candles burned in glass globes; clumps
|
|
of stiff-leaved plants separated sets of cosy wicker chairs; and
|
|
between the pairs of columns, whose reddish shafts caught in a
|
|
long row the sheen from the tall windows, the night, glittering and
|
|
sombre, seemed to hang like a splendid drapery. The riding lights
|
|
of ships winked afar like setting stars, and the hills across the road-
|
|
stead resembled rounded black masses of arrested thunder-clouds.
|
|
|
|
' "I couldn't clear out," Jim began. "The skipper did -- that's all
|
|
very well for him. I couldn't, and I wouldn't. They all got out of it
|
|
in one way or another, but it wouldn't do for me."
|
|
|
|
'I listened with concentrated attention, not daring to stir in my
|
|
chair; I wanted to know -- and to this day I don't know, I can only
|
|
guess. He would be confident and depressed all in the same breath,
|
|
as if some conviction of innate blamelessness had checked the truth
|
|
writhing within him at every turn. He began by saying, in the tone
|
|
in which a man would admit his inability to jump a twenty-foot
|
|
wall, that he could never go home now; and this declaration recalled
|
|
to my mind what Brierly had said, "that the old parson in Essex
|
|
seemed to fancy his sailor son not a little."
|
|
|
|
'I can't tell you whether Jim knew he was especially "fancied,"
|
|
but the tone of his references to "my Dad" was calculated to give
|
|
me a notion that the good old rural dean was about the finest man
|
|
that ever had been worried by the cares of a large family since the
|
|
beginning of the world. This, though never stated, was implied
|
|
with an anxiety that there should be no mistake about it, which was
|
|
really very true and charming, but added a poignant sense of lives
|
|
far off to the other elements of the story. "He has seen it all in the
|
|
home papers by this time," said Jim. "I can never face the poor old
|
|
chap." I did not dare to lift my eyes at this till I heard him add, "I
|
|
could never explain. He wouldn't understand." Then I looked up.
|
|
He was smoking reflectively, and after a moment, rousing himself,
|
|
began to talk again. He discovered at once a desire that I should not
|
|
confound him with his partners in -- in crime, let us call it. He was
|
|
not one of them; he was altogether of another sort. I gave no sign
|
|
of dissent. I had no intention, for the sake of barren truth, to rob
|
|
him of the smallest particle of any saving grace that would come in
|
|
his way. I didn't know how much of it he believed himself. I didn't
|
|
know what he was playing up to -- if he was playing up to anything
|
|
at all -- and I suspect he did not know either; for it is my belief no
|
|
man ever understands quite his own artful dodges to escape from
|
|
the grim shadow of self-knowledge. I made no sound all the time
|
|
he was wondering what he had better do after "that stupid inquiry
|
|
was over."
|
|
|
|
'Apparently he shared Brierly's contemptuous opinion of these
|
|
proceedings ordained by law. He would not know where to turn,
|
|
he confessed, clearly thinking aloud rather than talking to me. Cer-
|
|
tificate gone, career broken, no money to get away, no work that
|
|
he could obtain as far as he could see. At home he could perhaps
|
|
get something; but it meant going to his people for help, and that
|
|
he would not do. He saw nothing for it but ship before the mast --
|
|
could get perhaps a quartermaster's billet in some steamer. Would
|
|
do for a quartermaster.... "Do you think you would?" I asked
|
|
pitilessly. He jumped up, and going to the stone balustrade looked
|
|
out into the night. In a moment he was back, towering above my
|
|
chair with his youthful face clouded yet by the pain of a conquered
|
|
emotion. He had understood very well I did not doubt his ability
|
|
to steer a ship. In a voice that quavered a bit he asked me why did
|
|
I say that? I had been "no end kind" to him. I had not even laughed
|
|
at him when -- here he began to mumble -- "that mistake, you know --
|
|
made a confounded ass of myself." I broke in by saying rather
|
|
warmly that for me such a mistake was not a matter to laugh at. He
|
|
sat down and drank deliberately some coffee, emptying the small
|
|
cup to the last drop. "That does not mean I admit for a moment
|
|
the cap fitted," he declared distinctly. "No?" I said. "No," he
|
|
affirmed with quiet decision. "Do you know what you would have
|
|
done? Do you? And you don't think yourself" . . . he gulped some-
|
|
thing . . . "you don't think yourself a -- a -- cur?"
|
|
|
|
'And with this -- upon my honour! -- he looked up at me inquisi-
|
|
tively. It was a question it appears -- a bond-fide question! However,
|
|
he didn't wait for an answer. Before I could recover he went on,
|
|
with his eyes straight before him, as if reading off something written
|
|
on the body of the night. "It is all in being ready. I wasn't; not --
|
|
not then. I don't want to excuse myself; but I would like to explain --
|
|
I would like somebody to understand -- somebody -- one person at
|
|
least! You! Why not you?"
|
|
|
|
'It was solemn, and a little ridiculous too, as they always are,
|
|
those struggles of an individual trying to save from the fire his idea
|
|
of what his moral identity should be, this precious notion of a
|
|
convention, only one of the rules of the game, nothing more, but
|
|
all the same so terribly effective by its assumption of unlimited
|
|
power over natural instincts, by the awful penalties of its failure.
|
|
He began his story quietly enough. On board that Dale Line
|
|
steamer that had picked up these four floating in a boat upon the
|
|
discreet sunset glow of the sea, they had been after the first day
|
|
looked askance upon. The fat skipper told some story, the others
|
|
had been silent, and at first it had been accepted. You don't cross-
|
|
examine poor castaways you had the good luck to save, if not from
|
|
cruel death, then at least from cruel suffering. Afterwards, with
|
|
time to think it over, it might have struck the officers of the Avon-
|
|
dale that there was "something fishy" in the affair; but of course
|
|
they would keep their doubts to themselves. They had picked up
|
|
the captain, the mate, and two engineers of the steamer Patna sunk
|
|
at sea, and that, very properly, was enough for them. I did not ask
|
|
Jim about the nature of his feelings during the ten days he spent on
|
|
board. From the way he narrated that part I was at liberty to infer
|
|
he was partly stunned by the discovery he had made -- the discovery
|
|
about himself -- and no doubt was at work trying to explain it away
|
|
to the only man who was capable of appreciating all its tremendous
|
|
magnitude. You must understand he did not try to minimise its
|
|
importance. Of that I am sure; and therein lies his distinction. As
|
|
to what sensations he experienced when he got ashore and heard
|
|
the unforeseen conclusion of the tale in which he had taken such
|
|
a pitiful part, he told me nothing of them, and it is difficult to
|
|
imagine.
|
|
|
|
'I wonder whether he felt the ground cut from under his feet? I
|
|
wonder? But no doubt he managed to get a fresh foothold very
|
|
soon. He was ashore a whole fortnight waiting in the Sailors' Home,
|
|
and as there were six or seven men staying there at the time, I had
|
|
heard of him a little. Their languid opinion seemed to be that, in
|
|
addition to his other shortcomings, he was a sulky brute. He had
|
|
passed these days on the verandah, buried in a long chair, and
|
|
coming out of his place of sepulture only at meal-times or late at
|
|
night, when he wandered on the quays all by himself, detached
|
|
from his surroundings, irresolute and silent, like a ghost without a
|
|
home to haunt. "I don't think I've spoken three words to a living
|
|
soul in all that time," he said, making me very sorry for him; and
|
|
directly he added, "One of these fellows would have been sure to
|
|
blurt out something I had made up my mind not to put up with,
|
|
and I didn't want a row. No! Not then. I was too -- too . . . I had
|
|
no heart for it." "So that bulkhead held out after all," I remarked
|
|
cheerfully. "Yes," he murmured, "it held. And yet I swear to you
|
|
I felt it bulge under my hand. " "It's extraordinary what strains old
|
|
iron will stand sometimes," I said. Thrown back in his seat, his legs
|
|
stiffly out and arms hanging down, he nodded slightly several times.
|
|
You could not conceive a sadder spectacle. Suddenly he lifted his
|
|
head; he sat up; he slapped his thigh. "Ah! what a chance missed!
|
|
My God! what a chance missed!" he blazed out, but the ring of the
|
|
last "missed" resembled a cry wrung out by pain.
|
|
|
|
'He was silent again with a still, far-away look of fierce yearning
|
|
after that missed distinction, with his nostrils for an instant dilated,
|
|
sniffing the intoxicating breath of that wasted opportunity. If you
|
|
think I was either surprised or shocked you do me an injustice in
|
|
more ways than one! Ah, he was an imaginative beggar! He would
|
|
give himself away; he would give himself up. I could see in his
|
|
glance darted into the night all his inner being carried on, projected
|
|
headlong into the fanciful realm of recklessly heroic aspirations. He
|
|
had no leisure to regret what he had lost, he was so wholly and
|
|
naturally concerned for what he had failed to obtain. He was very
|
|
far away from me who watched him across three feet of space. With
|
|
every instant he was penetrating deeper into the impossible world
|
|
of romantic achievements. He got to the heart of it at last! A strange
|
|
look of beatitude overspread his features, his eyes sparkled in the
|
|
light of the candle burning between us; he positively smiled! He
|
|
had penetrated to the very heart -- to the very heart. It was an
|
|
ecstatic smile that your faces -- or mine either -- will never wear, my
|
|
dear boys. I whisked him back by saying, "If you had stuck to the
|
|
ship, you mean!"
|
|
|
|
'He turned upon me, his eyes suddenly amazed and full of pain,
|
|
with a bewildered, startled, suffering face, as though he had tum-
|
|
bled down from a star. Neither you nor I will ever look like this on
|
|
any man. He shuddered profoundly, as if a cold finger-tip had
|
|
touched his heart. Last of all he sighed.
|
|
|
|
'I was not in a merciful mood. He provoked one by his contradic-
|
|
tory indiscretions. "It is unfortunate you didn't know beforehand!"
|
|
I said with every unkind intention; but the perfidious shaft fell
|
|
harmless -- dropped at his feet like a spent arrow, as it were, and he
|
|
did not think of picking it up. Perhaps he had not even seen it.
|
|
Presently, lolling at ease, he said, "Dash it all! I tell you it bulged.
|
|
I was holding up my lamp along the angle-iron in the lower deck
|
|
when a flake of rust as big as the palm of my hand fell off the plate,
|
|
all of itself." He passed his hand over his forehead. "The thing
|
|
stirred and jumped off like something alive while I was looking at
|
|
it. " "That made you feel pretty bad," I observed casually. "Do you
|
|
suppose," he said, "that I was thinking of myself, with a hundred
|
|
and sixty people at my back, all fast asleep in that fore-'tween-deck
|
|
alone -- and more of them aft; more on the deck -- sleeping -- knowing
|
|
nothing about it -- three times as many as there were boats for,
|
|
even if there had been time? I expected to see the iron open out as
|
|
I stood there and the rush of water going over them as they lay....
|
|
What could I do -- what?"
|
|
|
|
'I can easily picture him to myself in the peopled gloom of the
|
|
cavernous place, with the light of the globe-lamp falling on a small
|
|
portion of the bulkhead that had the weight of the ocean on the
|
|
other side, and the breathing of unconscious sleepers in his ears. I
|
|
can see him glaring at the iron, startled by the falling rust, overbur-
|
|
dened by the knowledge of an imminent death. This, I gathered,
|
|
was the second time he had been sent forward by that skipper of
|
|
his, who, I rather think, wanted to keep him away from the bridge.
|
|
He told me that his first impulse was to shout and straightway
|
|
make all those people leap out of sleep into terror; but such an
|
|
overwhelming sense of his helplessness came over him that he was
|
|
not able to produce a sound. This is, I suppose, what people mean
|
|
by the tongue cleaving to the roof of the mouth. "Too dry," was
|
|
the concise expression he used in reference to this state. Without a
|
|
sound, then, he scrambled out on deck through the number one
|
|
hatch. A windsail rigged down there swung against him acciden-
|
|
tally, and he remembered that the light touch of the canvas on his
|
|
face nearly knocked him off the hatchway ladder.
|
|
|
|
'He confessed that his knees wobbled a good deal as he stood on
|
|
the foredeck looking at another sleeping crowd. The engines having
|
|
been stopped by that time, the steam was blowing off. Its deep
|
|
rumble made the whole night vibrate like a bass string. The ship
|
|
trembled to it.
|
|
|
|
'He saw here and there a head lifted off a mat, a vague form
|
|
uprise in sitting posture, listen sleepily for a moment, sink down
|
|
again into the billowy confusion of boxes, steam-winches, venti-
|
|
lators. He was aware all these people did not know enough to take
|
|
intelligent notice of that strange noise. The ship of iron, the men
|
|
with white faces, all the sights, all the sounds, everything on board
|
|
to that ignorant and pious multitude was strange alike, and as trust-
|
|
worthy as it would for ever remain incomprehensible. It occurred
|
|
to him that the fact was fortunate. The idea of it was simply terrible.
|
|
|
|
'You must remember he believed, as any other man would have
|
|
done in his place, that the ship would go down at any moment; the
|
|
bulging, rust-eaten plates that kept back the ocean, fatally must
|
|
give way, all at once like an undermined dam, and let in a sudden
|
|
and overwhelming flood. He stood still looking at these recumbent
|
|
bodies, a doomed man aware of his fate, surveying the silent com-
|
|
pany of the dead. They were dead! Nothing could save them! There
|
|
were boats enough for half of them perhaps, but there was no time.
|
|
No time! No time! It did not seem worth while to open his lips, to
|
|
stir hand or foot. Before he could shout three words, or make three
|
|
steps, he would be floundering in a sea whitened awfully by the
|
|
desperate struggles of human beings, clamorous with the distress
|
|
of cries for help. There was no help. He imagined what would
|
|
happen perfectly; he went through it all motionless by the hatchway
|
|
with the lamp in his hand -- he went through it to the very last
|
|
harrowing detail. I think he went through it again while he was
|
|
telling me these things he could not tell the court.
|
|
|
|
' "I saw as clearly as I see you now that there was nothing I could
|
|
do. It seemed to take all life out of my limbs. I thought I might just
|
|
as well stand where I was and wait. I did not think I had many
|
|
seconds . . ." Suddenly the steam ceased blowing off. The noise,
|
|
he remarked, had been distracting, but the silence at once became
|
|
intolerably oppressive.
|
|
|
|
' "I thought I would choke before I got drowned," he said.
|
|
|
|
'He protested he did not think of saving himself. The only dis-
|
|
tinct thought formed, vanishing, and re-forming in his brain, was:
|
|
eight hundred people and seven boats; eight hundred people and
|
|
seven boats.
|
|
|
|
' "Somebody was speaking aloud inside my head," he said a little
|
|
wildly. "Eight hundred people and seven boats -- and no time! Just
|
|
think of it." He leaned towards me across the little table, and I tried
|
|
to avoid his stare. "Do you think I was afraid of death?" he asked
|
|
in a voice very fierce and low. He brought down his open hand with
|
|
a bang that made the coffee-cups dance. "I am ready to swear I was
|
|
not -- I was not.... By God -- no!" He hitched himself upright and
|
|
crossed his arms; his chin fell on his breast.
|
|
|
|
'The soft clashes of crockery reached us faintly through the high
|
|
windows. There was a burst of voices, and several men came out in
|
|
high good-humour into the gallery. They were exchanging jocular
|
|
reminiscences of the donkeys in Cairo. A pale anxious youth step-
|
|
ping softly on long legs was being chaffed by a strutting and rubi-
|
|
cund globe-trotter about his purchases in the bazaar. "No, really --
|
|
do you think I've been done to that extent?" he inquired, very
|
|
earnest and deliberate. The band moved away, dropping into chairs
|
|
as they went; matches flared, illuminating for a second faces without
|
|
the ghost of an expression and the flat glaze of white shirt-fronts;
|
|
the hum of many conversations animated with the ardour of feasting
|
|
sounded to me absurd and infinitely remote.
|
|
|
|
' "Some of the crew were sleeping on the number one hatch
|
|
within reach of my arm," began Jim again.
|
|
|
|
'You must know they kept Kalashee watch in that ship, all hands
|
|
sleeping through the night, and only the reliefs of quartermasters
|
|
and look-out men being called. He was tempted to grip and shake
|
|
the shoulder of the nearest lascar, but he didn't. Something held
|
|
his arms down along his sides. He was not afraid -- oh no! only he
|
|
just couldn't -- that's all. He was not afraid of death perhaps, but
|
|
I'll tell you what, he was afraid of the emergency. His confounded
|
|
imagination had evoked for him all the horrors of panic, the tram-
|
|
pling rush, the pitiful screams, boats swamped -- all the appalling
|
|
incidents of a disaster at sea he had ever heard of. He might have
|
|
been resigned to die, but I suspect he wanted to die without added
|
|
terrors, quietly, in a sort of peaceful trance. A certain readiness to
|
|
perish is not so very rare, but it is seldom that you meet men whose
|
|
souls, steeled in the impenetrable armour of resolution, are ready
|
|
to fight a losing battle to the last; the desire of peace waxes stronger
|
|
as hope declines, till at last it conquers the very desire of life. Which
|
|
of us here has not observed this, or maybe experienced something
|
|
of that feeling in his own person -- this extreme weariness of
|
|
emotions, the vanity of effort, the yearning for rest? Those striving
|
|
with unreasonable forces know it well -- the shipwrecked castaways
|
|
in boats, wanderers lost in a desert, men battling against the
|
|
unthinking might of nature, or the stupid brutality of crowds.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 8
|
|
|
|
'How long he stood stock-still by the hatch expecting every
|
|
moment to feel the ship dip under his feet and the rush of water
|
|
take him at the back and toss him like a chip, I cannot say. Not
|
|
very long -- two minutes perhaps. A couple of men he could not
|
|
make out began to converse drowsily, and also, he could not tell
|
|
where, he detected a curious noise of shuffling feet. Above these
|
|
faint sounds there was that awful stillness preceding a catastrophe,
|
|
that trying silence of the moment before the crash; then it came
|
|
into his head that perhaps he would have time to rush along and
|
|
cut all the lanyards of the gripes, so that the boats would float off
|
|
as the ship went down.
|
|
|
|
'The Patna had a long bridge, and all the boats were up there,
|
|
four on one side and three on the other -- the smallest of them on
|
|
the port side and nearly abreast of the steering-gear. He assured
|
|
me, with evident anxiety to be believed, that he had been most
|
|
careful to keep them ready for instant service. He knew his duty. I
|
|
dare say he was a good enough mate as far as that went. "I always
|
|
believed in being prepared for the worst," he commented, staring
|
|
anxiously in my face. I nodded my approval of the sound principle,
|
|
averting my eyes before the subtle unsoundness of the man.
|
|
|
|
'He started unsteadily to run. He had to step over legs, avoid
|
|
stumbling against the heads. Suddenly some one caught hold of his
|
|
coat from below, and a distressed voice spoke under his elbow. The
|
|
light of the lamp he carried in his right hand fell upon an upturned
|
|
dark face whose eyes entreated him together with the voice. He had
|
|
picked up enough of the language to understand the word water
|
|
repeated several times in a tone of insistence, of prayer, almost of
|
|
despair. He gave a jerk to get away, and felt an arm embrace his
|
|
leg.
|
|
|
|
' "The beggar clung to me like a drowning man," he said
|
|
impressively. "Water, water! What water did he mean? What did
|
|
he know? As calmly as I could I ordered him to let go. He was
|
|
stopping me, time was pressing, other men began to stir; I wanted
|
|
time -- time to cut the boats adrift. He got hold of my hand now,
|
|
and I felt that he would begin to shout. It flashed upon me it was
|
|
enough to start a panic, and I hauled off with my free arm and slung
|
|
the lamp in his face. The glass jingled, the light went out, but the
|
|
blow made him let go, and I ran off -- I wanted to get at the boats;
|
|
I wanted to get at the boats. He leaped after me from behind. I
|
|
turned on him. He would not keep quiet; he tried to shout; I had
|
|
half throttled him before I made out what he wanted. He wanted
|
|
some water -- water to drink; they were on strict allowance, you
|
|
know, and he had with him a young boy I had noticed several times.
|
|
His child was sick -- and thirsty. He had caught sight of me as I
|
|
passed by, and was begging for a little water. That's all. We were
|
|
under the bridge, in the dark. He kept on snatching at my wrists;
|
|
there was no getting rid of him. I dashed into my berth, grabbed
|
|
my water-bottle, and thrust it into his hands. He vanished. I didn't
|
|
find out till then how much I was in want of a drink myself." He
|
|
leaned on one elbow with a hand over his eyes.
|
|
|
|
'I felt a creepy sensation all down my backbone; there was some-
|
|
thing peculiar in all this. The fingers of the hand that shaded his
|
|
brow trembled slightly. He broke the short silence.
|
|
|
|
' "These things happen only once to a man and . . . Ah! well!
|
|
When I got on the bridge at last the beggars were getting one of the
|
|
boats off the chocks. A boat! I was running up the ladder when a
|
|
heavy blow fell on my shoulder, just missing my head. It didn't
|
|
stop me, and the chief engineer -- they had got him out of his bunk
|
|
by then -- raised the boat-stretcher again. Somehow I had no mind
|
|
to be surprised at anything. All this seemed natural -- and awful --
|
|
and awful. I dodged that miserable maniac, lifted him off the deck
|
|
as though he had been a little child, and he started whispering in
|
|
my arms: 'Don't! don't! I thought you were one of them niggers.'
|
|
I flung him away, he skidded along the bridge and knocked the legs
|
|
from under the little chap -- the second. The skipper, busy about
|
|
the boat, looked round and came at me head down, growling like a
|
|
wild beast. I flinched no more than a stone. I was as solid standing
|
|
there as this," he tapped lightly with his knuckles the wall beside
|
|
his chair. "It was as though I had heard it all, seen it all, gone
|
|
through it all twenty times already. I wasn't afraid of them. I drew
|
|
back my fist and he stopped short, muttering-
|
|
|
|
' " 'Ah! it's you. Lend a hand quick.'
|
|
|
|
' "That's what he said. Quick! As if anybody could be quick
|
|
enough. 'Aren't you going to do something?' I asked. 'Yes. Clear
|
|
out,' he snarled over his shoulder.
|
|
|
|
' "I don't think I understood then what he meant. The other two
|
|
had picked themselves up by that time, and they rushed together
|
|
to the boat. They tramped, they wheezed, they shoved, they cursed
|
|
the boat, the ship, each other -- cursed me. All in mutters. I didn't
|
|
move, I didn't speak. I watched the slant of the ship. She was as
|
|
still as if landed on the blocks in a dry dock -- only she was like
|
|
this," He held up his hand, palm under, the tips of the fingers
|
|
inclined downwards. "Like this," he repeated. "I could see the line
|
|
of the horizon before me, as clear as a bell, above her stem-head; I
|
|
could see the water far off there black and sparkling, and still -- still
|
|
as a-pond, deadly still, more still than ever sea was before -- more
|
|
still than I could bear to look at. Have you watched a ship floating
|
|
head down, checked in sinking by a sheet of old iron too rotten to
|
|
stand being shored up? Have you? Oh yes, shored up? I thought of
|
|
that -- I thought of every mortal thing; but can you shore up a
|
|
bulkhead in five minutes -- or in fifty for that matter? Where was I
|
|
going to get men that would go down below? And the timber -- the
|
|
timber! Would you have had the courage to swing the maul for the
|
|
first blow if you had seen that bulkhead? Don't say you would: you
|
|
had not seen it; nobody would. Hang it -- to do a thing like that you
|
|
must believe there is a chance, one in a thousand, at least, some
|
|
ghost of a chance; and you would not have believed. Nobody would
|
|
have believed. You think me a cur for standing there, but what
|
|
would you have done? What! You can't tell -- nobody can tell. One
|
|
must have time to turn round. What would you have me do? Where
|
|
was the kindness in making crazy with fright all those people I
|
|
could not save single-handed -- that nothing could save? Look here!
|
|
As true as I sit on this chair before you . . ."
|
|
|
|
'He drew quick breaths at every few words and shot quick glances
|
|
at my face, as though in his anguish he were watchful of the effect.
|
|
He was not speaking to me, he was only speaking before me, in a
|
|
dispute with an invisible personality, an antagonistic and insepar-
|
|
able partner of his existence -- another possessor of his soul. These
|
|
were issues beyond the competency of a court of inquiry: it was a
|
|
subtle and momentous quarrel as to the true essence of life, and did
|
|
not want a judge. He wanted an ally, a helper, an accomplice. I felt
|
|
the risk I ran of being circumvented, blinded, decoyed, bullied,
|
|
perhaps, into taking a definite part in a dispute impossible of
|
|
decision if one had to be fair to all the phantoms in possession -- to
|
|
the reputable that had its claims and to the disreputable that had
|
|
its exigencies. I can't explain to you who haven't seen him and who
|
|
hear his words only at second hand the mixed nature of my feelings.
|
|
It seemed to me I was being made to comprehend the Inconceiv-
|
|
able -- and I know of nothing to compare with the discomfort of
|
|
such a sensation. I was made to look at the convention that lurks in
|
|
all truth and on the essential sincerity of falsehood. He appealed to
|
|
all sides at once -- to the side turned perpetually to the light of day,
|
|
and to that side of us which, like the other hemisphere of the moon,
|
|
exists stealthily in perpetual darkness, with only a fearful ashy light
|
|
falling at times on the edge. He swayed me. I own to it, I own up.
|
|
The occasion was obscure, insignificant -- what you will: a lost
|
|
youngster, one in a million -- but then he was one of us; an incident
|
|
as completely devoid of importance as the flooding of an ant-heap,
|
|
and yet the mystery of his attitude got hold of me as though he had
|
|
been an individual in the forefront of his kind, as if the obscure
|
|
truth involved were momentous enough to affect mankind's con-
|
|
ception of itself. .. . '
|
|
|
|
Marlow paused to put new life into his expiring cheroot, seemed
|
|
to forget all about the story, and abruptly began again.
|
|
|
|
'My fault of course. One has no business really to get interested.
|
|
It's a weakness of mine. His was of another kind. My weakness
|
|
consists in not having a discriminating eye for the incidental -- for
|
|
the externals -- no eye for the hod of the rag-picker or the fine linen
|
|
of the next man. Next man -- that's it. I have met so many men,' he
|
|
pursued, with momentary sadness -- 'met them too with a certain --
|
|
certain -- impact, let us say; like this fellow, for instance -- and in
|
|
each case all I could see was merely the human being. A confounded
|
|
democratic quality of vision which may be better than total blind-
|
|
ness, but has been of no advantage to me, I can assure you. Men
|
|
expect one to take into account their fine linen. But I never could
|
|
get up any enthusiasm about these things. Oh! it's a failing; it's a
|
|
failing; and then comes a soft evening; a lot of men too indolent for
|
|
whist -- and a story.... '
|
|
|
|
He paused again to wait for an encouraging remark, perhaps, but
|
|
nobody spoke; only the host, as if reluctantly performing a duty,
|
|
murmured --
|
|
|
|
'You are so subtle, Marlow.'
|
|
|
|
'Who? I?' said Marlow in a low voice. 'Oh no! But he was; and
|
|
try as I may for the success of this yarn, I am missing innumerable
|
|
shades -- they were so fine, so difficult to render in colourless words.
|
|
Because he complicated matters by being so simple, too -- the sim-
|
|
plest poor devil! . . . By Jove! he was amazing. There he sat telling
|
|
me that just as I saw him before my eyes he wouldn't be afraid to
|
|
face anything -- and believing in it too. I tell you it was fabulously
|
|
innocent and it was enormous, enormous! I watched him covertly,
|
|
just as though I had suspected him of an intention to take a jolly
|
|
good rise out of me. He was confident that, on the square, "on the
|
|
square, mind!" there was nothing he couldn't meet. Ever since he
|
|
had been "so high" -- "quite a little chap," he had been preparing
|
|
himself for all the difficulties that can beset one on land and water.
|
|
He confessed proudly to this kind of foresight. He had been elabor-
|
|
ating dangers and defences, expecting the worst, rehearsing his
|
|
best. He must have led a most exalted existence. Can ypu fancy
|
|
it? A succession of adventures, so much glory, such a victorious
|
|
progress! and the deep sense of his sagacity crowning every day of
|
|
his inner life. He forgot himself; his eyes shone; and with every
|
|
word my heart, searched by the light of his absurdity, was growing
|
|
heavier in my breast. I had no mind to laugh, and lest I should
|
|
smile I made for myself a stolid face. He gave signs of irritation.
|
|
|
|
' "It is always the unexpected that happens," I said in a propitiat-
|
|
ory tone. My obtuseness provoked him into a contemptuous "Psh-
|
|
aw!" I suppose he meant that the unexpected couldn't touch him;
|
|
nothing less than the unconceivable itself could get over his perfect
|
|
state of preparation. He had been taken unawares -- and he whis-
|
|
pered to himself a malediction upon the waters and the firmament,
|
|
upon the ship, upon the men. Everything had betrayed him! He
|
|
had been tricked into that sort of high-minded resignation which
|
|
prevented him lifting as much as his little finger, while these others
|
|
wko had a very clear perception of the actual necessity were tum-
|
|
bling against each other and sweating desperately over that boat
|
|
business. Something had gone wrong there at the last moment. It
|
|
appears that in their flurry they had contrived in some mysterious
|
|
way to get the sliding bolt of the foremost boat-chock jammed tight,
|
|
and forthwith had gone out of the remnants of their minds over the
|
|
deadly nature of that accident. It must have been a pretty sight, the
|
|
fierce industry of these beggars toiling on a motionless ship that
|
|
floated quietly in the silence of a world asleep, fighting against time
|
|
for the freeing of that boat, grovelling on all-fours, standing up in
|
|
despair, tugging, pushing, snarling at each other venomously, ready
|
|
to kill, ready to weep, and only kept from flying at each other's
|
|
throats by the fear of death that stood silent behind them like an
|
|
inflexible and cold-eyed taskmaster. Oh yes! It must have been a
|
|
pretty sight. He saw it all, he could talk about it with scorn and
|
|
bitterness; he had a minute knowledge of it by means of some sixth
|
|
sense, I conclude, because he swore to me he had remained apart
|
|
without a glance at them and at the boat -- without one single glance.
|
|
And I believe him. I should think he was too busy watching the
|
|
threatening slant of the ship, the suspended menace discovered in
|
|
the midst of the most perfect security -- fascinated by the sword
|
|
hanging by a hair over his imaginative head.
|
|
|
|
'Nothing in the world moved before his eyes, and he could depict
|
|
to himself without hindrance the sudden swing upwards of the dark
|
|
sky-line, the sudden tilt up of the vast plain of the sea, the swift
|
|
still rise, the brutal fling, the grasp of the abyss, the struggle without
|
|
hope, the starlight closing over his head for ever like the vault of a
|
|
tomb -- the revolt of his young life -- the black end. He could! By
|
|
Jove! who couldn't? And you must remember he was a finished
|
|
artist in that peculiar way, he was a gifted poor devil with the faculty
|
|
of swift and forestalling vision. The sights it showed him had turned
|
|
him into cold stone from the soles of his feet to the nape of his neck;
|
|
but there was a hot dance of thoughts in his head, a dance of lame,
|
|
blind, mute thoughts -- a whirl of awful cripples. Didn't I tell you
|
|
he confessed himself before me as though I had the power to bind
|
|
and to loose? He burrowed deep, deep, in the hope of my absol-
|
|
ution, which would have been of no good to him. This was one of
|
|
those cases which no solemn deception can palliate, where no man
|
|
can help; where his very Maker seems to abandon a sinner to his
|
|
own devices.
|
|
|
|
'He stood on the starboard side of the bridge, as far as he could
|
|
get from the struggle for the boat, which went on with the agitation
|
|
of madness and the stealthiness of a conspiracy. The two Malays
|
|
had meantime remained holding to the wheel. Just picture to your-
|
|
selves the actors in that, thank God! unique, episode of the sea,
|
|
four beside themselves with fierce and secret exertions, and three
|
|
looking on in complete immobility, above the awnings covering
|
|
the profound ignorance of hundreds of human beings, with their
|
|
weariness, with their dreams, with their hopes, arrested, held by
|
|
an invisible hand on the brink of annihilation. For that they were
|
|
so, makes no doubt to me: given the state of the ship, this was the
|
|
deadliest possible description of accident that could happen. These
|
|
beggars by the boat had every reason to go distracted with funk.
|
|
Frankly, had I been there, I would not have given as much as a
|
|
counterfeit farthing for the ship's chance to keep above water to the
|
|
end of each successive second. And still she floated! These sleeping
|
|
pilgrims were destined to accomplish their whole pilgrimage to the
|
|
bitterness of some other end. It was as if the Omnipotence whose
|
|
mercy they confessed had needed their humble testimony on earth
|
|
for a while longer, and had looked down to make a sign, "Thou shalt
|
|
not!" to the ocean. Their escape would trouble me as a prodigiously
|
|
inexplicable event, did I not know how tough old iron can be -- as
|
|
tough sometimes as the spirit of some men we meet now and then,
|
|
worn to a shadow and breasting the weight of life. Not the least
|
|
wonder of these twenty minutes, to my mind, is the behaviour of
|
|
the two helmsmen. They were amongst the native batch of all sorts
|
|
brought over from Aden to give evidence at the inquiry. One of
|
|
them, labouring under intense bashfulness, was very young, and
|
|
with his smooth, yellow, cheery countenance looked even younger
|
|
than he was. I remember perfectly Brierly asking him, through the
|
|
interpreter, what he thought of it at the time, and the interpreter,
|
|
after a short colloquy, turning to the court with an important air --
|
|
|
|
' "He says he thought nothing."
|
|
|
|
'The other, with patient blinking eyes, a blue cotton handker-
|
|
chief, faded with much washing, bound with a smart twist over a
|
|
lot of grey wisps, his face shrunk into grim hollows, his brown
|
|
skin made darker by a mesh of wrinkles, explained that he had a
|
|
knowledge of some evil thing befalling the ship, but there had been
|
|
no order; he could not remember an order; why should he leave the
|
|
helm? To some further questions he jerked back his spare shoul-
|
|
ders, and declared it never came into his mind then that the white
|
|
men were about to leave the ship through fear of death. He did not
|
|
believe it now. There might have been secret reasons. He wagged
|
|
his old chin knowingly. Aha! secret reasons. He was a man of great
|
|
experience, and he wanted that white Tuan to know -- he turned
|
|
towards Brierly, who didn't raise his head -- that he had acquired a
|
|
knowledge of many things by serving white men on the sea for a
|
|
great number of years -- and, suddenly, with shaky excitement he
|
|
poured upon our spellbound attention a lot of queer-sounding
|
|
names, names of dead-and-gone skippers, names of forgotten coun-
|
|
try ships, names of familiar and distorted sound, as if the hand of
|
|
dumb time had been at work on them for ages. They stopped him
|
|
at last. A silence fell upon the court, -- a silence that remained
|
|
unbroken for at least a minute, and passed gently into a deep mur-
|
|
mur. This episode was the sensation of the second day's proceed-
|
|
ings -- affecting all the audience, affecting everybody except Jim,
|
|
who was sitting moodily at the end of the first bench, and never
|
|
looked up at this extraordinary and damning witness that seemed
|
|
possessed of some mysterious theory of defence.
|
|
|
|
'So these two lascars stuck to the helm of that ship without steer-
|
|
age-way, where death would have found them if such had been their
|
|
destiny. The whites did not give them half a glance, had probably
|
|
forgotten their existence. Assuredly Jim did not remember it. He
|
|
remembered he could do nothing; he could do nothing, now he was
|
|
alone. There was nothing to do but to sink with the ship. No use
|
|
making a disturbance about it. Was there? He waited upstanding,
|
|
without a sound, stiffened in the idea of some sort of heroic discre-
|
|
tion. The first engineer ran cautiously across the bridge to tug at
|
|
his sleeve.
|
|
|
|
' "Come and help! For God's sake, come and help!"
|
|
|
|
'He ran back to the boat on the points of his toes, and returned
|
|
directly to worry at his sleeve, begging and cursing at the same
|
|
time.
|
|
|
|
' "I believe he would have kissed my hands," said Jim savagely,
|
|
"and, next moment, he starts foaming and whispering in my face,
|
|
'If I had the time I would like to crack your skull for you.' I pushed
|
|
him away. Suddenly he caught hold of me round the neck. Damn
|
|
him! I hit him. I hit out without looking. 'Won't you save your own
|
|
life -- you infernal coward?' he sobs. Coward! He called me an
|
|
infernal coward! Ha! ha! ha! ha! He called me -- ha! ha! ha! . . ."
|
|
|
|
'He had thrown himself back and was shaking with laughter. I
|
|
had never in my life heard anything so bitter as that noise. It fell
|
|
like a blight on all the merriment about donkeys, pyramids, bazaars,
|
|
or what not. Along the whole dim length of the gallery the voices
|
|
dropped, the pale blotches of faces turned our way with one accord,
|
|
and the silence became so profound that the clear tinkle of a tea-
|
|
spoon falling on the tesselated floor of the verandah rang out like a
|
|
tiny and silvery scream.
|
|
|
|
' "You mustn't laugh like this, with all these people about," I
|
|
remonstrated. "It isn't nice for them, you know."
|
|
|
|
'He gave no sign of having heard at first, but after a while, with
|
|
a stare that, missing me altogether, seemed to probe the heart of
|
|
some awful vision, he muttered carelessly -- "Oh! they'll think I am
|
|
drunk . "
|
|
|
|
'And after that you would have thought from his appearance he
|
|
would never make a sound again. But -- no fear! He could no more
|
|
stop telling now than he could have stopped living by the mere
|
|
exertion of his will.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 9
|
|
|
|
' "I was saying to myself, 'Sink -- curse you! Sink!' " These were
|
|
the words with which he began again. He wanted it over. He was
|
|
severely left aione, and he formulated in his head this address to
|
|
the ship in a tone of imprecation, while at the same time he enjoyed
|
|
the privilege of witnessing scenes -- as far as I can judge -- of low
|
|
comedy. They were still at that bolt. The skipper was ordering,
|
|
"Get under and try to lift"; and the others naturally shirked. You
|
|
understand that to be squeezed flat under the keel of a boat wasn't
|
|
a desirable position to be caught in if the ship went down suddenly.
|
|
"Why don't you -- you the strongest?" whined the little engineer.
|
|
"Gott-for-dam! I am too thick," spluttered the skipper in despair.
|
|
It was funny enough to make angels weep. They stood idle for a
|
|
moment, and suddenly the chief engineer rushed again at Jim.
|
|
|
|
' "Come and help, man! Are you mad to throw your only chance
|
|
away? Come and help, man! Man! Look there -- look!"
|
|
|
|
'And at last Jim looked astern where the other pointed with
|
|
maniacal insistence. He saw a silent black squall which had eaten
|
|
up already one-third of the sky. You know how these squalls come
|
|
up there about that time of the year. First you see a darkening of
|
|
the horizon -- no more; then a cloud rises opaque like a wall. A
|
|
straight edge of vapour lined with sickly whitish gleams flies up
|
|
from the south-west, swallowing the stars in whole constellations;
|
|
its shadow flies over the waters, and confounds sea and sky into one
|
|
abyss of obscurity. And all is still. No thunder, no wind, no sound;
|
|
not a flicker of lightning. Then in the tenebrous immensity a livid
|
|
arch appears; a swell or two like undulations of the very darkness
|
|
run past, and, suddenly, wind and rain strike together with a pecu-
|
|
liar impetuosity as if they had burst through something solid. Such
|
|
a cloud had come up while they weren't looking. They had just
|
|
noticed it, and were perfectly justified in surmising that if in abso-
|
|
lute stillness there was some chance for the ship to keep afloat a few
|
|
minutes longer, the least disturbance of the sea would make an end
|
|
of her instantly. Her first nod to the swell that precedes the burst
|
|
of such a squall would be also her last, would become a plunge,
|
|
would, so to speak, be prolonged into a long dive, down, down to
|
|
the bottom. Hence these new capers of their fright, these new antics
|
|
in which they displayed their extreme aversion to die.
|
|
|
|
' "It was black, black," pursued Jim with moody steadiness. "It
|
|
had sneaked upon us from behind. The infernal thing! I suppose
|
|
there had been at the back of my head some hope yet. I don't know.
|
|
But that was all over anyhow. It maddened me to see myself caught
|
|
like this. I was angry, as though I had been trapped. I was trapped!
|
|
The night was hot, too, I remember. Not a breath of air."
|
|
|
|
'He remembered so well that, gasping in the chair, he seemed to
|
|
sweat and choke before my eyes. No doubt it maddened him; it
|
|
knocked him over afresh -- in a manner of speaking -- but it made
|
|
him also remember that important purpose which had sent him
|
|
rushing on that bridge only to slip clean out of his mind. He had
|
|
intended to cut the lifeboats clear of the ship. He whipped out hus
|
|
knife and went to work slashing as though he had seen nothing,
|
|
had heard nothing, had known of no one on board. They thought
|
|
him hopelessly wrong-headed and crazy, but dared not protest nois-
|
|
ily against this useless loss of time. When he had done he returned
|
|
to the very same spot from which he had started. The chief was
|
|
there, ready with a clutch at him to whisper close to his head,
|
|
scathingly, as though he wanted to bite his ear --
|
|
|
|
' "You silly fool! do you think you'll get the ghost of a show when
|
|
all that lot of brutes is in the water? Why, they will batter your head
|
|
for you from these boats."
|
|
|
|
'He wrung his hands, ignored, at Jim's elbow. The skipper kept
|
|
up a nervous shuffle in one place and mumbled, "Hammer! ham-
|
|
mer! Mein Gott! Get a hammer."
|
|
|
|
'The little engineer whimpered like a child, but, broken arm and
|
|
all, he turned out the least craven of the lot as it seems, and, actually,
|
|
mustered enough pluck to run an errand to the engine-room. No
|
|
trifle, it must be owned in fairness to him. Jim told me he darted
|
|
desperate looks like a cornered man, gave one low wail, and dashed
|
|
off. He was back instantly clambering, hammer in hand, and with-
|
|
out a pause flung himself at the bolt. The others gave up Jim at
|
|
once and ran off to assist. He heard the tap, tap of the hammer, the
|
|
sound of the released chock falling over. The boat was clear. Only
|
|
then he turned to look -- only then. But he kept his distance -- he
|
|
kept his distance. He wanted me to know he had kept his distance;
|
|
that there was nothing in common between him and these men --
|
|
who had the hammer. Nothing whatever. It is more than probable
|
|
he thought himself cut off from them by a space that could not be
|
|
traversed, by an obstacle that could not be overcome, by a chasm
|
|
without bottom. He was as far as he could get from them -- the
|
|
whole breadth of the ship.
|
|
|
|
'His feet were glued to that remote spot and his eyes to their
|
|
indistinct group bowed together and swaying strangely in the com-
|
|
mon torment of fear. A hand-lamp lashed to a stanchion above a
|
|
little table rigged up on the bridge -- the Patna had no chart-room
|
|
amidships -- threw a light on their labouring shoulders, on their
|
|
arched and bobbing backs. They pushed at the bow of the boat;
|
|
they pushed out into the night; they pushed, and would no more
|
|
look back at him. They had given him up as if indeed he had been
|
|
too far, too hopelessly separated from themselves, to be worth an
|
|
appealing word, a glance, or a sign. They had no leisure to look
|
|
back upon his passive heroism, to feel the sting of his abstention.
|
|
The boat was heavy; they pushed at the bow with no breath to spare
|
|
for an encouraging word: but the turmoil of terror that had scattered
|
|
their self-command like chaff before the wind, converted their
|
|
desperate exertions into a bit of fooling, upon my word, fit for
|
|
knockabout clowns in a farce. They pushed with their hands, with
|
|
their heads, they pushed for dear life with all the weight of their
|
|
bodies, they pushed with all the might of their souls -- only no
|
|
sooner had they succeeded in canting the stem clear of the davit
|
|
than they would leave off like one man and start a wild scramble
|
|
into her. As a natural consequence the boat would swing in
|
|
abruptly, driving them back, helpless and jostling against each
|
|
other. They would stand nonplussed for a while, exchanging in
|
|
fierce whispers all the infamous names they could call to mind, and
|
|
go at it again. Three times this occurred. He described it to me with
|
|
morose thoughtfulness. He hadn't lost a single movement of that
|
|
comic business. "I loathed them. I hated them. I had to look at
|
|
all that," he said without emphasis, turning upon me a sombrely
|
|
watchful glance. "Was ever there any one so shamefully tried?"
|
|
|
|
'He took his head in his hands for a moment, like a man driven
|
|
to distraction by some unspeakable outrage. These were things he
|
|
could not explain to the court -- and not even to me; but I would
|
|
have been little fitted for the reception of his confidences had I not
|
|
been able at times to understand the pauses between the words. In
|
|
this assault upon his fortitude there was the jeering intention of a
|
|
spiteful and vile vengeance; there was an element of burlesque in
|
|
his ordeal -- a degradation of funny grimaces in the approach of
|
|
death or dishonour.
|
|
|
|
'He related facts which I have not forgotten, but at this distance
|
|
of time I couldn't recall his very words: I only remember that he
|
|
managed wonderfully to convey the brooding rancour of his mind
|
|
into the bare recital of events. Twice, he told me, he shut his eyes
|
|
in the certitude that the end was upon him already, and twice he
|
|
had to open them again. Each time he noted the darkening of the
|
|
great stillness. The shadow of the silent cloud had fallen upon the
|
|
ship from the zenith, and seemed to have extinguished every sound
|
|
of her teeming life. He could no longer hear the voices under the
|
|
awnings. He told me that each time he closed his eyes a flash of
|
|
thought showed him that crowd of bodies, laid out for death, as
|
|
plain as daylight. When he opened them, it was to see the dim
|
|
struggle of four men fighting like mad with a stubborn boat. "They
|
|
would fall back before it time after time, stand swearing at each
|
|
other, and suddenly make another rush in a bunch.... Enough to
|
|
make you die laughing," he commented with downcast eyes; then
|
|
raising them for a moment to my face with a dismal smile, "I ought
|
|
to have a merry life of it, by God! for I shall see that funny sight a
|
|
good many times yet before I die." His eyes fell again. "See and
|
|
hear.... See and hear," he repeated twice, at long intervals, filled
|
|
by vacant staring.
|
|
|
|
'He roused himself.
|
|
|
|
' "I made up my mind to keep my eyes shut," he said, "and I
|
|
couldn't. I couldn't, and I don't care who knows it. Let them go
|
|
through that kind of thing before they talk. Just let them -- and do
|
|
better -- that's all. The second time my eyelids flew open and my
|
|
mouth too. I had felt the ship move. She just dipped her bows --
|
|
and lifted them gently -- and slow! everlastingly slow; and ever so
|
|
little. She hadn't done that much for days. The cloud had raced
|
|
ahead, and this first swell seemed to travel upon a sea of lead. There
|
|
was no life in that stir. Itmanaged, though, to knock over something
|
|
in my head. What would you have done? You are sure of yourself --
|
|
aren't you? What would you do if you felt now -- this minute -- the
|
|
house here move, just move a little under your chair. Leap! By
|
|
heavens! you would take one spring from where you sit and land in
|
|
that clump of bushes yonder."
|
|
|
|
'He flung his arm out at the night beyond the stone balustrade.
|
|
I held my peace. He looked at me very steadily, very severe. There
|
|
could be no mistake: I was being bullied now, and it behoved me
|
|
to make no sign lest by a gesture or a word I should be drawn into
|
|
a fatal admission about myself which would have had some bearing
|
|
on the case. I was not disposed to take any risk of that sort. Don't
|
|
forget I had him before me, and really he was too much like one of
|
|
us not to be dangerous. But if you want to know I don't mind telling
|
|
you that I did, with a rapid glance, estimate the distance to the
|
|
mass of denser blackness in the middle of the grass-plot before the
|
|
verandah. He exaggerated. I would have landed short by several
|
|
feet -- and that's the only thing of which I am fairly certain.
|
|
|
|
'The last moment had come, as he thought, and he did not move.
|
|
His feet remained glued to the planks if his thoughts were knocking
|
|
about loose in his head. It was at this moment too that he saw one
|
|
of the men around the boat step backwards suddenly, clutch at the
|
|
air with raised arms, totter and collapse. He didn't exactly fall, he
|
|
only slid gently into a sitting posture, all hunched up, and with his
|
|
shoulders propped against the side of the engine-room skylight.
|
|
"That was the donkey-man. A haggard, white-faced chap with a
|
|
ragged moustache. Acted third engineer," he explained.
|
|
|
|
' "Dead," I said. We had heard something of that in court.
|
|
|
|
' "So they say," he pronounced with sombre indifference. "Of
|
|
course I never knew. Weak heart. The man had been complaining
|
|
of being out of sorts for some time before. Excitement. Over-exer-
|
|
tion. Devil only knows. Ha! ha! ha! It was easy to see he did not
|
|
want to die either. Droll, isn't it? May I be shot if he hadn't been
|
|
fooled into killing himself! Fooled -- neither more nor less. Fooled
|
|
into it, by heavens! just as I . . . Ah! If he had only kept still; if he
|
|
had only told them to go to the devil when they came to rush him
|
|
out of his bunk because the ship was sinking! If he had only stood
|
|
by with his hands in his pockets and called them names!"
|
|
|
|
'He got up, shook his fist, glared at me, and sat down.
|
|
|
|
' "A chance missed, eh?" I murmured.
|
|
|
|
' "Why don't you laugh?" he said. "A joke hatched in hell. Weak
|
|
heart! . . . I wish sometimes mine had been."
|
|
|
|
'This irritated me. "Do you?" I exclaimed with deep-rooted
|
|
irony. "Yes! Can'tyou understand?" he cried. "I don't know what
|
|
more you could wish for," I said angrily. He gave me an utterly
|
|
uncomprehending glance. This shaft had also gone wide of the
|
|
mark, and he was not the man to bother about stray arrows. Upon
|
|
my word, he was too unsuspecting; he was not fair game. I was glad
|
|
that my missile had been thrown away, -- that he had not even heard
|
|
the twang of the bow.
|
|
|
|
'Of course he could not know at the time the man was dead. The
|
|
next minute -- his last on board -- was crowded with a tumult of
|
|
events and sensations which beat about him like the sea upon a
|
|
rock. I use the simile advisedly, because from his relation I am
|
|
forced to believe he had preserved through it all a strange illusion
|
|
of passiveness, as though he had not acted but had suffered bimself
|
|
to be handled by the infernal powers who had selected him for the
|
|
victim of their practical joke. The first thing that came to him was
|
|
the grinding surge of the heavy davits swinging out at last -- a jar
|
|
which seemed to enter his body from the deck through the soles of
|
|
his feet, and travel up his spine to the crown of his head. Then, the
|
|
squall being very near now, another and a heavier swell lifted the
|
|
passive hull in a threatening heave that checked his breath, while
|
|
his brain and his heart together were pierced as with daggers by
|
|
panic-stricken screams. "Let go! For God's sake, let go! Let go!
|
|
She's going." Following upon that the boat-falls ripped through
|
|
the blocks, and a lot of men began to talk in startled tones under
|
|
the awnings. "When these beggars did break out, their yelps were
|
|
enough to wake the dead," he said. Next, after the splashing shock
|
|
of the boat literally dropped in the water, came the hollow noises
|
|
of stamping and tumbling in her, mingled with confused shouts:
|
|
"Unhook! Unhook! Shove! Unhook! Shove for your life! Here's
|
|
the squall down on us.... " He heard, high above his head, the
|
|
faint muttering of the wind; he heard below his feet a cry of pain.
|
|
A lost voice alongside started cursing a swivel hook. The ship began
|
|
to buzz fore and aft like a disturbed hive, and, as quietly as he was
|
|
telling me of all this -- because just then he was very quiet in attitude,
|
|
in face, in voice -- he went on to say without the slightest warning
|
|
as it were, "I stumbled over his legs."
|
|
|
|
'This was the first I heard of his having moved at all. I could not
|
|
restrain a grunt of surprise. Something had started him off at last,
|
|
but of the exact moment, of the cause that tore him out of his
|
|
immobility, he knew no more than the uprooted tree knows of the
|
|
wind that laid it low. All this had come to him: the sounds, the
|
|
sights, the legs of the dead man -- by Jove! The infernal joke was
|
|
being crammed devilishly down his throat, but -- look you -- he was
|
|
not going to admit of any sort of swallowing motion in his gullet.
|
|
It's extraordinary how he could cast upon you the spirit of his
|
|
illusion. I listened as if to a tale of black magic at work upon a
|
|
corpse.
|
|
|
|
' "He went over sideways, very gently, and this is the last thing
|
|
I remember seeing on board," he continued. "I did not care what
|
|
he did. It looked as though he were picking himself up: I thought
|
|
he was picking himself up, of course: I expected him to bolt past
|
|
me over the rail and drop into the boat after the others. I could hear
|
|
them knocking about down there, and a voice as if crying up a shaft
|
|
called out 'George!' Then three voices together raised a yell. They
|
|
came to me separately: one bleated, another screamed, one howled.
|
|
Ough!"
|
|
|
|
'He shivered a little, and I beheld him rise slowly as if a steady
|
|
hand from above had been pulling him out of the chair by his hair.
|
|
Up, slowly -- to his full height, and when his knees had locked stiff
|
|
the hand let him go, and he swayed a little on his feet. There was a
|
|
suggestion of awful stillness in his face, in his movements, in his
|
|
very voice when he said "They shouted" -- and involuntarily I
|
|
pricked up my ears for the ghost of that shout that would be heard
|
|
directly through the false effect of silence. "There were eight hun-
|
|
dred people in that ship," he said, impaling me to the back of my
|
|
seat with an awful blank stare. "Eight hundred living people, and
|
|
they were yelling after the one dead man to come down and be
|
|
saved. 'Jump, George! Jump! Oh, jump!' I stood by with my hand
|
|
on the davit. I was very quiet. It had come over pitch dark. You
|
|
could see neither sky nor sea. I heard the boat alongside go bump,
|
|
bump, and not another sound down there for a while, but the ship
|
|
under me was full of talking noises. Suddenly the skipper howled
|
|
'Mein Gott! The squall! The squall! Shove off!' With the first hiss
|
|
of rain, and the first gust of wind, they screamed, 'Jump, George!
|
|
We'll catch you! Jump!' The ship began a slow plunge; the rain
|
|
swept over her like a broken sea; my cap flew off my head; my
|
|
breath was driven back into my throat. I heard as if I had been on
|
|
the top of a tower another wild screech, 'Geo-o-o-orge! Oh, jump!'
|
|
She was going down, down, head first under me.... "
|
|
|
|
'He raised his hand deliberately to his face, and made picking
|
|
motions with his fingers as though he had been bothered with cob-
|
|
webs, and afterwards he looked into the open palm for quite half
|
|
a second before he blurted out --
|
|
|
|
' "I had jumped . . . " He checked himself, averted his
|
|
gaze.... "It seems," he added.
|
|
|
|
'His clear blue eyes turned to me with a piteous stare, and looking
|
|
at him standing before me, dumfounded and hurt, I was oppressed
|
|
by a sad sense of resigned wisdom, mingled with the amused and
|
|
profound pity of an old man helpless before a childish disaster.
|
|
|
|
' "Looks like it," I muttered.
|
|
|
|
' "I knew nothing about it till I looked up," he explained hastily.
|
|
And that's possible too. You had to listen to him as you would to a
|
|
small boy in trouble. He didn't know. It had happened somehow.
|
|
It would never happen again. He had landed partly on somebody
|
|
and fallen across a thwart. He felt as though all his ribs on his left
|
|
side must be broken; then he rolled over, and saw vaguely the ship
|
|
he had deserted uprising above him, with the red side-light glowing
|
|
large in the rain like a fire on the brow of a hill seen through a mist.
|
|
"She seemed higher than a wall; she loomed like a cliff over the
|
|
boat . . . I wished I could die," he cried. "There was no going
|
|
back. It was as if I had jumped into a well -- into an everlasting deep
|
|
hole.... " '
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 10
|
|
|
|
'He locked his fingers together and tore them apart. Nothing
|
|
could be more true: he had indeed jumped into an everlasting deep
|
|
hole. He had tumbled from a height he could never scale again. By
|
|
that time the boat had gone driving forward past the bows. It was
|
|
too dark just then for them to see each other, and, moreover, they
|
|
were blinded and half drowned with rain. He told me it was like
|
|
being swept by a flood through a cavern. They turned their backs
|
|
to the squall; the skipper, it seems, got an oar over the stern to keep
|
|
the boat before it, and for two or three minutes the end of the world
|
|
had come through a deluge in a pitchy blackness. The sea hissed
|
|
"like twenty thousand kettles." That's his simile, not mine. I fancy
|
|
there was not much wind after the first gust; and he himself had
|
|
admitted at the inquiry that the sea never got up that night to any
|
|
extent. He crouched down in the bows and stole a furtive glance
|
|
back. He saw just one yellow gleam of the mast-head light high up
|
|
and blurred like a last star ready to dissolve. "It terrified me to see
|
|
it still there," he said. That's what he said. What terrified him was
|
|
the thought that the drowning was not over yet. No doubt he wanted
|
|
to be done with that abomination as quickly as possible. Nobody
|
|
in the boat made a sound. In the dark she seemed to fly, but of
|
|
course she could not have had much way. Then the shower swept
|
|
ahead, and the great, distracting, hissing noise followed the rain
|
|
into distance and died out. There was nothing to be heard then
|
|
but the slight wash about the boat's sides. Somebody's teeth were
|
|
chattering violently. A hand touched his back. A faint voice said,
|
|
"You there?" Another cried out shakily, "She's gone!" and they
|
|
all stood up together to look astern. They saw no lights. All was
|
|
black. A thin cold drizzle was driving into their faces. The boat
|
|
lurched slightly. The teeth chattered faster, stopped, and began
|
|
again twice before the man could master his shiver sufficiently to
|
|
say, "Ju-ju-st in ti-ti-me.... Brrrr." He recognised the voice of
|
|
the chief engineer saying surlily, "I saw her go down. I happened
|
|
to turn my head." The wind had dropped almost completely.
|
|
|
|
'They watched in the dark with their heads half turned to wind-
|
|
ward as if expecting to hear cries. At first he was thankful the night
|
|
had covered up the scene before his eyes, and then to know of it
|
|
and yet to have seen and heard nothing appeared somehow the
|
|
culminating point of an awful misfortune. "Strange, isn't it?" he
|
|
murmured, interrupting himself in his disjointed narrative.
|
|
|
|
'It did not seem so strange to me. He must have had an
|
|
unconscious conviction that the reality could not be half as bad, not
|
|
half as anguishing, appalling, and vengeful as the created terror of
|
|
his imagination. I believe that, in this first moment, his heart was
|
|
wrung with all the suffering, that his soul knew the accumulated
|
|
savour of all the fear, all the horror, all the despair of eight hundred
|
|
human beings pounced upon in the night by a sudden and violent
|
|
death, else why should he have said, "It seemed to me that I must
|
|
jump out of that accursed boat and swim back to see -- half a mile --
|
|
more -- any distance -- to the very spot . . . "? Why this impulse?
|
|
Do you see the significance? Why back to the very spot? Why not
|
|
drown alongside -- if he meant drowning? Why back to the very
|
|
spot, to see -- as if his imagination had to be soothed by the assurance
|
|
that all was over before death could bring relief? I defy any one of
|
|
you to offer another explanation. It was one of those bizarre and
|
|
exciting glimpses through the fog. It was an extraordinary dis-
|
|
closure. He let it out as the most natural thing one could say. He
|
|
fought down that impulse and then he became conscious of the
|
|
silence. He mentioned this to me. A silence of the sea, of the sky,
|
|
merged into one indefinite immensity still as death around these
|
|
saved, palpitating lives. "You might have heard a pin drop in the
|
|
boat," he said with a queer contraction of his lips, like a man trying
|
|
to master his sensibilities while relating some extremely moving
|
|
fact. A silence! God alone, who had willed him as he was, knows
|
|
what he made of it in his heart. "I didn't think any spot on earth
|
|
could be so still," he said. "You couldn't distinguish the sea from
|
|
the sky; there was nothing to see and nothing to hear. Not a glim-
|
|
mer, not a shape, not a sound. You could have believed that every
|
|
bit of dry land had gone to the bottom; that every man on earth but
|
|
I and these beggars in the boat had got drowned." He leaned over
|
|
the table with his knuckles propped amongst coffee-cups, liqueur-
|
|
glasses, cigar-ends. "I seemed to believe it. Everything was gone
|
|
and -- all was over . . . " he fetched a deep sigh . . . "with me." '
|
|
|
|
Marlow sat up abruptly and flung away his cheroot with force. It
|
|
made a darting red trail like a toy rocket fired through the drapery
|
|
of creepers. Nobody stirred.
|
|
|
|
'Hey, what do you think of it?' he cried with sudden animation.
|
|
'Wasn't he true to himself, wasn't he? His saved life was over for
|
|
want of ground under his feet, for want of sights for his eyes, for
|
|
want of voices in his ears. Annihilation -- hey! And all the time it
|
|
was only a clouded sky, a sea that did not break, the air that did
|
|
not stir. Only a night; only a silence.
|
|
|
|
'It lasted for a while, and then they were suddenly and unani-
|
|
mously moved to make a noise over their escape. "I knew from the
|
|
first she would go." "Not a minute too soon." "A narrow squeak,
|
|
b'gosh!" He said nothing, but the breeze that had dropped came
|
|
back, a gentle draught freshened steadily, and the sea joined its
|
|
murmuring voice to this talkative reaction succeeding the dumb
|
|
moments of awe. She was gone! She was gone! Not a doubt of it.
|
|
Nobody could have helped. They repeated the same words over
|
|
and over again as though they couldn't stop themselves. Never
|
|
doubted she would go. The lights were gone. No mistake. The
|
|
lights were gone. Couldn't expect anything else. She had to go....
|
|
He noticed that they talked as though they had left behind them
|
|
nothing but an empty ship. They concluded she would not have
|
|
been long when she once started. It seemed to cause them some sort
|
|
of satisfaction. They assured each other that she couldn't have been
|
|
long about it -- "Just shot down like a flat-iron." The chief engineer
|
|
declared that the mast-head light at the moment of sinking seemed
|
|
to drop "like a lighted match you throw down." At this the second
|
|
laughed hysterically. "I am g-g-glad, I am gla-a-a-d." His teeth
|
|
went on "like an electric rattle," said Jim, "and all at once he began
|
|
to cry. He wept and blubbered like a child, catching his breath and
|
|
sobbing 'Oh dear! oh dear! oh dear!' He would be quiet for a while
|
|
and start suddenly, 'Oh, my poor arm! oh, my poor a-a-a-arm!' I
|
|
felt I could knock him down. Some of them sat in the stern-sheets.
|
|
I could just make out their shapes. Voices came to me, mumble,
|
|
mumble, grunt, grunt. All this seemed very hard to bear. I was cold
|
|
too. And I could do nothing. I thought that if I moved I would have
|
|
to go over the side and . . . "
|
|
|
|
'His hand groped stealthily, came in contact with a liqueur-glass,
|
|
and was withdrawn suddenly as if it had touched a red-hot coal. I
|
|
pushed the bottle slightly. "Won't you have some more?" I asked.
|
|
He looked at me angrily. "Don't you think I can tell you what there
|
|
is to tell without screwing myself up?" he asked. The squad of
|
|
globe-trotters had gone to bed. We were alone but for a vague white
|
|
form erect in the shadow, that, being looked at, cringed forward,
|
|
hesitated, backed away silently. It was getting late, but I did not
|
|
hurry my guest.
|
|
|
|
'In the midst of his forlorn state he heard his companions begin
|
|
to abuse some one. "What kept you from jumping, you lunatic?"
|
|
said a scolding voice. The chief engineer left the stern-sheets, and
|
|
could be heard clambering forward as if with hostile intentions
|
|
against "the greatest idiot that ever was." The skipper shouted with
|
|
rasping effort offensive epithets from where he sat at the oar. He
|
|
lifted his head at that uproar, and heard the name "George," while
|
|
a hand in the dark struck him on the breast. "What have you got
|
|
to say for yourself, you fool?" queried somebody, with a sort of
|
|
virtuous fury. "They were after me," he said. "They were abusing
|
|
me -- abusing me . . . by the name of George. "
|
|
|
|
'He paused to stare, tried to smile, turned his eyes away and went
|
|
on. "That little second puts his head right under my nose, 'Why,
|
|
it's that blasted mate!' 'What!' howls the skipper from the other
|
|
end of the boat. 'No!' shrieks the chief. And he too stooped to look
|
|
at my face."
|
|
|
|
'The wind had left the boat suddenly. The rain began to fall
|
|
again, and the soft, uninterrupted, a little mysterious sound with
|
|
which the sea receives a shower arose on all sides in the night.
|
|
"They were too taken aback to say anything more at first," he
|
|
narrated steadily, "and what could I have to say to them?" He
|
|
faltered for a moment, and made an effort to go on. "They called
|
|
me horrible names." His voice, sinking to a whisper, now and
|
|
then would leap up suddenly, hardened by the passion of scorn, as
|
|
though he had been talking of secret abominations. "Never mind
|
|
what they called me," he said grimly. "I could hear hate in their
|
|
voices. A good thing too. They could not forgive me for being in
|
|
that boat. They hated it. It made them mad.... " He laughed
|
|
short.... "But it kept me from -- Look! I was sitting with my arms
|
|
crossed, on the gunwale! . . . " He perched himself smartly on the
|
|
edge of the table and crossed his arms.... "Like this -- see? One
|
|
little tilt backwards and I would have been gone -- after the others.
|
|
One little tilt -- the least bit -- the least bit." He frowned, and tapping
|
|
his forehead with the tip of his middle finger, "It was there all the
|
|
time," he said impressively. "All the time -- that notion. And the
|
|
rain -- cold, thick, cold as melted snow -- colder -- on my thin cotton
|
|
clothes -- I'll never be so cold again in my life, I know. And the sky
|
|
was black too -- all black. Not a star, not a light anywhere. Nothing
|
|
outside that confounded boat and those two yapping before me like
|
|
a couple of mean mongrels at a tree'd thief. Yap! yap! 'What you
|
|
doing here? You're a fine sort! Too much of a bloomin' gentleman
|
|
to put your hand to it. Come out of your trance, did you? To sneak
|
|
in? Did you?' Yap! yap! 'You ain't fit to live!' Yap! yap! Two of
|
|
them together trying to out-bark each other. The other would bay
|
|
from the stern through the rain -- couldn't see him -- couldn't make
|
|
it out -- some of his filthy jargon. Yap! yap! Bow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
|
|
Yap! yap! It was sweet to hear them; it kept me alive, I tell you. It
|
|
saved my life. At it they went, as if trying to drive me overboard
|
|
with the noise! . . . 'I wonder you had pluck enough to jump. You
|
|
ain't wanted here. If I had known who it was, I would have tipped
|
|
you over -- you skunk! What have you done with the other? Where
|
|
did you get the pluck to jump -- you coward? What's to prevent us
|
|
three from firing you overboard?' . . . They were out of breath; the
|
|
shower passed away upon the sea. Then nothing. There was nothing
|
|
round the boat, not even a sound. Wanted to see me overboard, did
|
|
they? Upon my soul! I think they would have had their wish if they
|
|
had only kept quiet. Fire me overboard! Would they? 'Try,' I said.
|
|
'I would for twopence.' 'Too good for you,' they screeched together.
|
|
It was so dark that it was only when one or the other of them moved
|
|
that I was quite sure of seeing him. By heavens! I only wish they
|
|
had tried."
|
|
|
|
'I couldn't help exclaiming, "What an extraordinary affair!"
|
|
|
|
' "Not bad -- eh?" he said, as if in some sort astounded. "They
|
|
pretended to think I had done away with that donkey-man for some
|
|
reason or other. Why should I? And how the devil was I to know?
|
|
Didn't I get somehow into that boat? into that boat -- I . . . " The
|
|
muscles round his lips contracted into an unconscious grimace that
|
|
tore through the mask of his usual expression -- something violent,
|
|
short-lived and illuminating like a twist of lightning that admits the
|
|
eye for an instant into the secret convolutions of a cloud. "I did. I
|
|
was plainly there with them -- wasn't I? Isn't it awful a man should
|
|
be driven to do a thing like that -- and be responsible? What did I
|
|
know about their George they were howling after? I remembered I
|
|
had seen him curled up on the deck. 'Murdering coward!' the chief
|
|
kept on calling me. He didn't seem able to remember any other two
|
|
words. I didn't care, only his noise began to worry me. 'Shut up,'
|
|
I said. At that he collected himself for a confounded screech. 'You
|
|
killed him! You killed bim!' 'No,' I shouted, 'but I will kill you
|
|
directly.' I jumped up, and he fell backwards over a thwart with an
|
|
awful loud thump. I don't know why. Too dark. Tried to step back
|
|
I suppose. I stood still facing aft, and the wretched little second
|
|
began to whine, 'You ain't going to hit a chap with a broken arm --
|
|
and you call yourself a gentleman, too.' I heard a heavy tramp --
|
|
one -- two -- and wheezy grunting. The other beast was coming at
|
|
me, clattering his oar over the stern. I saw him moving, big, big --
|
|
as you see a man in a mist, in a dream. 'Come on,' I cried. I would
|
|
have tumbled him over like a bale of shakings. He stopped, mut-
|
|
tered to himself, and went back. Perhaps he had heard the wind. I
|
|
didn't. It was the last heavy gust we had. He went back to his oar.
|
|
I was sorry. I would have tried to -- to . . . "
|
|
|
|
'He opened and closed his curved fingers, and his hands had an
|
|
eager and cruel flutter. "Steady, steady," I murmured.
|
|
|
|
' "Eh? What? I am not excited," he remonstrated, awfully hurt,
|
|
and with a convulsive jerk of his elbow knocked over the cognac
|
|
bottle. I started forward, scraping my chair. He bounced off the
|
|
table as if a mine had been exploded behind his back, and half
|
|
turned before he alighted, crouching on his feet to show me a star-
|
|
tled pair of eyes and a face white about the nostrils. A look of intense
|
|
annoyance succeeded. "Awfully sorry. How clumsy of me!" he
|
|
mumbled, very vexed, while the pungent odour of spilt alcohol
|
|
enveloped us suddenly with an atmosphere of a low drinking-bout
|
|
in the cool, pure darkness of the night. The lights had been put out
|
|
in the dining-hall; our candle glimmered solitary in the long gallery,
|
|
and the columns had turned black from pediment to capital. On
|
|
the vivid stars the high corner of the Harbour Office stood out
|
|
distinct across the Esplanade, as though the sombre pile had glided
|
|
nearer to see and hear.
|
|
|
|
'He assumed an air of indifference.
|
|
|
|
' "I dare say I am less calm now than I was then. I was ready for
|
|
anything. These were trifles.... "
|
|
|
|
' "You had a lively time of it in that boat," I remarked
|
|
|
|
' "I was ready," he repeated. "After the ship's lights had gone,
|
|
anything might have happened in that boat -- anything in the world --
|
|
and the world no wiser. I felt this, and I was pleased. It was just
|
|
dark enough too. We were like men walled up quick in a roomy
|
|
grave. No concern with anything on earth. Nobody to pass an
|
|
opinion. Nothing mattered." For the third time during this conver-
|
|
sation he laughed harshly, but there was no one about to suspect
|
|
him of being only drunk. "No fear, no law, no sounds, no eyes --
|
|
not even our own, till -- till sunrise at least."
|
|
|
|
'I was struck by the suggestive truth of his words. There is some-
|
|
thing peculiar in a small boat upon the wide sea. Over the lives
|
|
borne from under the shadow of death there seems to fall the shadow
|
|
of madness. When your ship fails you, your whole world seems to
|
|
fail you; the world that made you, restrained you, took care of you.
|
|
It is as if the souls of men floating on an abyss and in touch with
|
|
immensity had been set free for any excess of heroism, absurdity,
|
|
or abomination. Of course, as with belief, thought, love, hate, con-
|
|
viction, or even the visual aspect of material things, there are as
|
|
many shipwrecks as there are men, and in this one there was some-
|
|
thing abject which made the isolation more complete -- there was a
|
|
villainy of circumstances that cut these men off more completely
|
|
from the rest of mankind, whose ideal of conduct had never under-
|
|
gone the trial of a fiendish and appalling joke. They were exasper-
|
|
ated with him for being a half-hearted shirker: he focussed on them
|
|
his hatred of the whole thing; he would have liked to take a signal
|
|
revenge for the abhorrent opportunity they had put in his way.
|
|
Trust a boat on the high seas to bring out the Irrational that lurks
|
|
at the bottom of every thought, sentiment, sensation, emotion. It
|
|
was part of the burlesque meanness pervading that particular disas-
|
|
ter at sea that they did not come to blows. It was all threats, all a
|
|
terribly effective feint, a sham from beginning to end, planned by
|
|
the tremendous disdain of the Dark Powers whose real terrors,
|
|
always on the verge of triumph, are perpetually foiled by the stead-
|
|
fastness of men. I asked, after waiting for a while, 'Well, what
|
|
happened?" A futile question. I knew too much already to hope for
|
|
the grace of a single uplifting touch, for the favour of hinted mad-
|
|
ness, of shadowed horror. "Nothing," he said. "I meant business,
|
|
but they meant noise only. Nothing happened."
|
|
|
|
'And the rising sun found him just as he had jumped up first in
|
|
the bows of the boat. What a persistence of readiness! He had been
|
|
holding the tiller in his hand, too, all the night. They had dropped
|
|
the rudder overboard while attempting to ship it, and I suppose the
|
|
tiller got kicked forward somehow while they were rushing up and
|
|
down that boat trying to do all sorts of things at once so as to get
|
|
clear of the side. It was a long heavy piece of hard wood, and
|
|
apparently he had been clutching it for six hours or so. If you don't
|
|
call that being ready! Can you imagine him, silent and on his feet
|
|
half the night, his face to the gusts of rain, staring at sombre forms
|
|
watchful of vague movements, straining his ears to catch rare low
|
|
murmurs in the stern-sheets! Firmness of courage or effort of fear?
|
|
What do you think? And the endurance is undeniable too. Six hours
|
|
more or less on the defensive; six hours of alert immobility while
|
|
the boat drove slowly or floated arrested, according to the caprice
|
|
of the wind; while the sea, calmed, slept at last; while the clouds
|
|
passed above his head; while the sky from an immensity lustreless
|
|
and black, diminished to a sombre and lustrous vault, scintillated
|
|
with a greater brilliance, faded to the east, paled at the zenith; while
|
|
the dark shapes blotting the low stars astern got outlines, relief
|
|
became shoulders, heads, faces, features, -- confronted him with
|
|
dreary stares, had dishevelled hair, torn clothes, blinked red eyelids
|
|
at the white dawn. "They looked as though they had been knocking
|
|
about drunk in gutters for a week," he described graphically; and
|
|
then he muttered something about the sunrise being of a kind that
|
|
foretells a calm day. You know that sailor habit of referring to the
|
|
weather in every connection. And on my side his few mumbled
|
|
words were enough to make me see the lower limb of the sun clear-
|
|
ing the line of the horizon, the tremble of a vast ripple running over
|
|
all the visible expanse of the sea, as if the waters had shuddered,
|
|
giving birth to the globe of light, while the last puff of the breeze
|
|
would stir the air in a sigh of relief.
|
|
|
|
' "They sat in the stern shoulder to shoulder, with the skipper
|
|
in the middle, like three dirty owls, and stared at me," I heard him
|
|
say with an intention of hate that distilled a corrosive virtue into
|
|
the commonplace words like a drop of powerful poison falling into
|
|
a glass of water; but my thoughts dwelt upon that sunrise. I could
|
|
imagine under the pellucid emptiness of the sky these four men
|
|
imprisoned in the solitude of the sea, the lonely sun, regardless of
|
|
the speck of life, ascending the clear curve of the heaven as if to
|
|
gaze ardently from a greater height at his own splendour reflected
|
|
in the still ocean. "They called out to me from aft," said Jim, "as
|
|
though we had been chums together. I heard them. They were
|
|
begging me to be sensible and drop that 'blooming piece of wood.'
|
|
Why would I carry on so? They hadn't done me any harm -- had
|
|
they? There had been no harm.... No harml"
|
|
|
|
'His face crimsoned as though he could not get rid of the air in
|
|
his lungs.
|
|
|
|
' "No harm!" he burst out. "I leave it to you. You can under-
|
|
stand. Can't you? You see it -- don't you? No harm! Good God!
|
|
What more could they have done? Oh yes, I know very well -- I
|
|
jumped. Certainly. I jumped! I told you I jumped; but I tell you
|
|
they were too much for any man. It was their doing as plainly as if
|
|
they had reached up with a boat-hook and pulled me over. Can't
|
|
you see it? You must see it. Come. Speak -- straight out."
|
|
|
|
His uneasy eyes fastened upon mine, questioned, begged, chal-
|
|
lenged, entreated. For the life of me I couldn't help murmuring,
|
|
"You've been tried." "More than is fair," he caught up swiftly. "I
|
|
wasn't given half a chance -- with a gang like that. And now they
|
|
were friendly -- oh, so damnably friendly! Chums, shipmates. All
|
|
in the same boat. Make the best of it. They hadn't meant anything.
|
|
They didn t care a hang for George. George had gone back to his
|
|
berth for something at the last moment and got caught. The man
|
|
was a manifest fool. Very sad, of course.... Their eyes looked at
|
|
me; their lips moved; they wagged their heads at the other end of
|
|
the boat -- three of them; they beckoned -- to me. Why not? Hadn't
|
|
I jumped? I said nothing. There are no words for the sort of things
|
|
I wanted to say. If I had opened my lips just then I would have
|
|
simply howled like an animal. I was asking myself when I would
|
|
wake up. They urged me aloud to come aft and hear quietly what
|
|
the skipper had to say. We were sure to be picked up before the
|
|
evening -- right in the track of all the Canal traffic; there was smoke
|
|
to the north-west now.
|
|
|
|
' "It gave me an awful shock to see this faint, faint blur, this low
|
|
trail of brown mist through which you could see the boundary of
|
|
sea and sky. I called out to them that I could hear very well where
|
|
I was. The skipper started swearing, as hoarse as a crow. He wasn't
|
|
going to talk at the top of his voice for my accommodation. 'Are you
|
|
afraid they will hear you on shore?' I asked. He glared as if he would
|
|
have liked to claw me to pieces. The chief engineer advised him to
|
|
humour me. He said I wasn't right in my head yet. The other rose
|
|
astern, like a thick pillar of flesh -- and talked -- talked.... "
|
|
|
|
'Jim remained thoughtful. "Well?" I said. "What did I care what
|
|
story they agreed to make up?" he cried recklessly. "They could
|
|
tell what they jolly well liked. It was their business. I knew the
|
|
story. Nothing they could make people believe could alter it for me.
|
|
I let him talk, argue -- talk, argue. He went on and on and on.
|
|
Suddenly I felt my legs give way under me. I was sick, tired -- tired
|
|
to death. I let fall the tiller, turned my back on them, and sat down
|
|
on the foremost thwart. I had enough. They called to me to know
|
|
if I understood -- wasn't it true, every word of it? It was true, by
|
|
God! after their fashion. I did not turn my head. I heard them
|
|
palavering together. 'The silly ass won't say anything.' 'Oh, he
|
|
understands well enough.' 'Let him be; he will be all right.' 'What
|
|
can he do?' What could I do? Weren't we all in the same boat? I
|
|
tried to be deaf. The smoke had disappeared to the northward. It
|
|
was a dead calm. They had a drink from the water-breaker, and I
|
|
drank too. Afterwards they made a great business of spreading the
|
|
boat-sail over the gunwales. Would I keep a look-out? They crept
|
|
under, out of my sight, thank God! I felt weary, weary, done up,
|
|
as if I hadn't had one hour's sleep since the day I was born. I
|
|
couldn't see the water for the glitter of the sunshine. From time to
|
|
time one of them would creep out, stand up to take a look all round,
|
|
and get under again. I could hear spells of snoring below the sail.
|
|
Some of them could sleep. One of them at least. I couldn't! All was
|
|
light, light, and the boat seemed to be falling through it. Now
|
|
and then I would feel quite surprised to find myself sitting on a
|
|
thwart.... "
|
|
|
|
'He began to walk with measured steps to and fro before my
|
|
chair, one hand in his trousers-pocket, his head bent thoughtfully,
|
|
and his right arm at long intervals raised for a gesture that seemed
|
|
to put out of his way an invisible intruder.
|
|
|
|
' "I suppose you think I was going mad," he began in a changed
|
|
tone. "And well you may, if you remember I had lost my cap. The
|
|
sun crept all the way from east to west over my bare head, but that
|
|
day I could not come to any harm, I suppose. The sun could not
|
|
make me mad.... " His right arm put aside the idea of mad-
|
|
ness.... "Neither could it kill me.... " Again his arm repulsed
|
|
a shadow.... "That rested with me."
|
|
|
|
' "Did it?" I said, inexpressibly amazed at this new turn, and I
|
|
looked at him with the same sort of feeling I might be fairly con-
|
|
ceived to experience had he, after spinning round on his heel, pre-
|
|
sented an altogether new face.
|
|
|
|
' "I didn't get brain fever, I did not drop dead either," he went
|
|
on. "I didn't bother myself at all about the sun over my head. I was
|
|
thinking as coolly as any man that ever sat thinking in the shade.
|
|
That greasy beast of a skipper poked his big cropped head from
|
|
under the canvas and screwed his fishy eyes up at me. 'Don-
|
|
nerwetter! you will die,' he growled, and drew in like a turtle. I had
|
|
seen him. I had heard him. He didn't interrupt me. I was thinking
|
|
just then that I wouldn't."
|
|
|
|
'He tried to sound my thought with an attentive glance dropped
|
|
on me in passing. "Do you mean to say you had been deliberating
|
|
with yourself whether you would die?" I asked in as impenetrable
|
|
a tone as I could command. He nodded without stopping. "Yes, it
|
|
had come to that as I sat there alone," he said. He passed on a few
|
|
steps to the imaginary end of his beat, and when he flung round to
|
|
come back both his hands were thrust deep into his pockets. He
|
|
stopped short in front of my chair and looked down. "Don't you
|
|
believe it?" he inquired with tense curiosity. I was moved to make
|
|
a solemn declaration of my readiness to believe implicitly anything
|
|
he thought fit to tell me.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 11
|
|
|
|
'He heard me out with his head on one side, and I had another
|
|
glimpse through a rent in the mist in which he moved and had his
|
|
being. The dim candle spluttered within the ball of glass, and that
|
|
was all I had to see him by; at his back was the dark night with the
|
|
clear stars, whose distant glitter disposed in retreating planes lured
|
|
the eye into the depths of a greater darkness; and yet a mysterious
|
|
light seemed to show me his boyish head, as if in that moment the
|
|
youth within him had, for a second, glowed and expired. "You are
|
|
an awful good sort to listen like this," he said. "It does me good.
|
|
You don't know what it is to me. You don't" . . . words seemed to
|
|
fail him. It was a distinct glimpse. He was a youngster of the sort
|
|
you like to see about you; of the sort you like to imagine yourself
|
|
to have been; of the sort whose appearance claims the fellowship of
|
|
these illusions you had thought gone out, extinct, cold, and which,
|
|
as if rekindled at the approach of another flame, give a flutter deep,
|
|
deep down somewhere, give a flutter of light . . . of heat! . . . Yes;
|
|
I had a glimpse of him then . . . and it was not the last of that
|
|
kind.... "You don't know what it is for a fellow in my position
|
|
to be believed -- make a clean breast of it to an elder man. It is so
|
|
difficult -- so awfully unfair -- so hard to understand."
|
|
|
|
'The mists were closing again. I don't know how old I appeared
|
|
to him -- and how much wise. Not half as old as I felt just then; not
|
|
half as uselessly wise as I knew myself to be. Surely in no other craft
|
|
as in that of the sea do the hearts of those already launched to sink
|
|
or swim go out so much to the youth on the brink, looking with
|
|
shining eyes upon that glitter of the vast surface which is only a
|
|
reflection of his own glances full of fire. There is such magnificent
|
|
vagueness in the expectations that had driven each of us to sea, such
|
|
a glorious indefiniteness, such a beautiful greed of adventures that
|
|
are their own and only reward. What we get -- well, we won't talk
|
|
of that; but can one of us restrain a smile? In no other kind of life
|
|
is the illusion more wide of reality -- in no other is the beginning all
|
|
illusion -- the disenchantment more swift -- the subjugation more
|
|
complete. Hadn't we all commenced with the same desire, ended
|
|
with the same knowledge, carried the memory of the same cherished
|
|
glamour through the sordid days of imprecation? What wonder that
|
|
when some heavy prod gets home the bond is found to be close;
|
|
that besides the fellowship of the craft there is felt the strength of
|
|
a wider feeling -- the feeling that binds a man to a child. He was
|
|
there before me, believing that age and wisdom can find a remedy
|
|
against the pain of truth, giving me a glimpse of himself as a young
|
|
fellow in a scrape that is the very devil of a scrape, the sort of scrape
|
|
greybeards wag at solemnly while they hide a smile. And he had
|
|
been deliberating upon death -- confound him! He had found that
|
|
to meditate about because he thought he had saved his life, while
|
|
all its glamour had gone with the ship in the night. What more
|
|
natural! It was tragic enough and funny enough in all conscience to
|
|
call aloud for compassion, and in what was I better than the rest of
|
|
us to refuse him my pity? And even as I looked at him the mists
|
|
rolled into the rent, and his voice spoke --
|
|
|
|
' "I was so lost, you know. It was the sort of thing one does not
|
|
expect to happen to one. It was not like a fight, for instance."
|
|
|
|
' "It was not," I admitted. He appeared changed, as if he had
|
|
suddenly matured.
|
|
|
|
' "One couldn't be sure," he muttered.
|
|
|
|
' "Ah! You were not sure," I said, and was placated by the sound
|
|
of a faint sigh that passed between us like the flight of a bird in the
|
|
night.
|
|
|
|
' "Well, I wasn't," he said courageously. "It was something like
|
|
that wretched story they made up. It was not a lie -- but it wasn't
|
|
truth all the same. It was something.... One knows a downright
|
|
lie. There was not the thickness of a sheet of paper between the
|
|
right and the wrong of this affair."
|
|
|
|
' "How much more did you want?" I asked; but I think I spoke
|
|
so low that he did not catch what I said. He had advanced his
|
|
argument as though life had been a network of paths separated by
|
|
chasms. His voice sounded reasonable.
|
|
|
|
' "Suppose I had not -- I mean to say, suppose I had stuck to the
|
|
ship? Well. How much longer? Say a minute -- half a minute. Come.
|
|
In thirty seconds, as it seemed certain then, I would have been
|
|
overboard; and do you think I would not have laid hold of the first
|
|
thing that came in my way -- oar, life-buoy, grating -- anything?
|
|
Wouldn't you?"
|
|
|
|
' "And be saved," I interjected.
|
|
|
|
' "I would have meant to be," he retorted. "And that's more
|
|
than I meant when I" . . . he shivered as if about to swallow some
|
|
nauseous drug . . . "jumped," he pronounced with a convulsive
|
|
effort, whose stress, as if propagated by the waves of the air, made
|
|
my body stir a little in the chair. He fixed me with lowering eyes.
|
|
"Don't you believe me?" he cried. "I swear! . . . Confound it! You
|
|
got me here to talk, and . . . You must! . . . You said you would
|
|
believe." "Of course I do," I protested, in a matter-of-fact tone
|
|
which produced a calming effect. "Forgive me," he said. "Of
|
|
course I wouldn't have talked to you about all this if you had not
|
|
been a gentleman. I ought to have known . . . I am -- I am -- a
|
|
gentleman too . . ." "Yes, yes," I said hastily. He was looking
|
|
me squarely in the face, and withdrew his gaze slowly. "Now you
|
|
understand why I didn't after all . . . didn't go out in that way. I
|
|
wasn't going to be frightened at what I had done. And, anyhow, if
|
|
I had stuck to the ship I would have done my best to be saved. Men
|
|
have been known to float for hours -- in the open sea -- and be picked
|
|
up not much the worse for it. I might have lasted it out better
|
|
than many others. There's nothing the matter with my heart." He
|
|
withdrew his right fist from his pocket, and the blow he struck on
|
|
his chest resounded like a muffled detonation in the night.
|
|
|
|
' "No," I said. He meditated, with his legs slightly apart and his
|
|
chin sunk. "A hair's-breadth," he muttered. "Not the breadth of
|
|
a hair between this and that. And at the time . . ."
|
|
|
|
' "It is difficult to see a hair at midnight," I put in, a little
|
|
viciously I fear. Don't you see what I mean by the solidarity of the
|
|
craft? I was aggrieved against him, as though he had cheated me --
|
|
me! -- of a splendid opportunity to keep up the illusion of my begin-
|
|
nings, as though he had robbed our common life of the last spark
|
|
of its glamour. "And so you cleared out -- at once."
|
|
|
|
' "Jumped," he corrected me incisively. "Jumped -- mind!" he
|
|
repeated, and I wondered at the evident but obscure intention.
|
|
"Well, yes! Perhaps I could not see then. But I had plenty of time
|
|
and any amount of light in that boat. And I could think too. Nobody
|
|
would know, of course, but this did not make it any easier for me.
|
|
You've got to believe that too. I did not want all this talk....
|
|
No . . . Yes . . . I won't lie . . . I wanted it: it is the very thing I
|
|
wanted -- there. Do you think you or anybody could have made me
|
|
if I . . . I am -- I am not afraid to tell. And I wasn't afraid to think
|
|
either. I looked it in the face. I wasn't going to run away. At first --
|
|
at night, if it hadn't been for those fellows I might have . . . No!
|
|
by heavens! I was not going to give them that satisfaction. They
|
|
had done enough. They made up a story, and believed it for all I
|
|
know. But I knew the truth, and I would live it down -- alone, with
|
|
myself. I wasn't going to give in to such a beastly unfair thing. What
|
|
did it prove after all? I was confoundedly cut up. Sick of life -- to
|
|
tell you the truth; but what would have been the good to shirk it --
|
|
in -- in -- that way? That was not the way. I believe -- I believe it
|
|
would have -- it would have ended -- nothing."
|
|
|
|
'He had been walking up and down, but with the last word he
|
|
turned short at me.
|
|
|
|
' "What do you believe?" he asked with violence. A pause ensued,
|
|
and suddenly I felt myself overcome by a profound and hopeless
|
|
fatigue, as though his voice had startled me out of a dream of
|
|
wandering through empty spaces whose immensity had harassed
|
|
my soul and exhausted my body.
|
|
|
|
' " . . . Would have ended nothing," he muttered over me obsti-
|
|
nately, after a little while. "No! the proper thing was to face it out --
|
|
alone -- for myself -- wait for another chance -- find out . . ." '
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 12
|
|
|
|
'All around everything was still as far as the ear could reach.
|
|
The mist of his feelings shifted between us, as if disturbed by his
|
|
struggles, and in the rifts of the immaterial veil he would appear to
|
|
my staring eyes distinct of form and pregnant with vague appeal
|
|
like a symbolic figure in a picture. The chill air of the night seemed
|
|
to lie on my limbs as heavy as a slab of marble.
|
|
|
|
' "I see," I murmured, more to prove to myself that I could break
|
|
my state of numbness than for any other reason.
|
|
|
|
' "The Avondale picked us up just before sunset," he remarked
|
|
moodily. "Steamed right straight for us. We had only to sit and
|
|
wait."
|
|
|
|
'After a long interval, he said, "They told their story." And again
|
|
there was that oppressive silence. "Then only I knew what it was I
|
|
had made up my mind to," he added.
|
|
|
|
' "You said nothing," I whispered.
|
|
|
|
' "What could I say?" he asked, in the same low tone....
|
|
"Shock slight. Stopped the ship. Ascertained the damage. Took
|
|
measures to get the boats out without creating a panic. As the first
|
|
boat was lowered ship went down in a squall. Sank like lead....
|
|
What could be more clear" . . . he hung his head . . . "and more
|
|
awful?" His lips quivered while he looked straight into my eyes. "I
|
|
had jumped -- hadn't I?" he asked, dismayed. "That's what I had
|
|
to live down. The story didn't matter." . . . He clasped his hands
|
|
for an instant, glanced right and left into the gloom: "It was like
|
|
cheating the dead," he stammered.
|
|
|
|
' "And there were no dead," I said.
|
|
|
|
'He went away from me at this . That is the only way I can describe
|
|
it. In a moment I saw his back close to the balustrade. He stood
|
|
there for some time, as if admiring the purity and the peace of
|
|
the night. Some flowering-shrub in the garden below spread its
|
|
powerful scent through the damp air. He returned to me with hasty
|
|
steps.
|
|
|
|
' "And that did not matter," he said, as stubbornly as you please.
|
|
|
|
' "Perhaps not," I admitted. I began to have a notion he was too
|
|
much for me. After all, what did I know?
|
|
|
|
' "Dead or not dead, I could not get clear," he said. "I had to
|
|
live; hadn't I?"
|
|
|
|
' "Well, yes -- if you take it in that way," I mumbled.
|
|
|
|
' "I was glad, of course," he threw out carelessly, with his mind
|
|
fixed on something else. "The exposure," he pronounced slowly,
|
|
and lifted his head. "Do you know what was my first thought when
|
|
I heard? I was relieved. I was relieved to learn that those shouts-
|
|
did I tell you I had heard shouts? No? Well, I did. Shouts for
|
|
help . . . blown along with the drizzle. Imagination, I suppose.
|
|
And yet I can hardly ... How stupid.... The others did not. I
|
|
asked them afterwards. They all said No. No? And I was hearing
|
|
them even then! I might have known -- but I didn't think -- I only
|
|
listened. Very faint screams -- day after day. Then that little half-
|
|
caste chap here came up and spoke to me. 'The Patna . . . French
|
|
gunboat. . . towed successfully to Aden. . . Investigation. . .
|
|
Marine Office . . . Sailors' Home . . . arrangements made for your
|
|
board and lodging!' I walked along with him, and I enjoyed the
|
|
silence. So there had been no shouting. Imagination. I had to believe
|
|
him. I could hear nothing any more. I wonder how long I could
|
|
have stood it. It was getting worse, too . . . I mean -- louder."
|
|
'He fell into thought.
|
|
|
|
' "And I had heard nothing! Well -- so be it. But the lights! The
|
|
lights did go! We did not see them. They were not there. If they
|
|
had been, I would have swam back -- I would have gone back and
|
|
shouted alongside -- I would have begged them to take me on
|
|
board.... I would have had my chance.... You doubt me? ...
|
|
How do you know how I felt?... What right have you to
|
|
doubt? . . . I very nearly did it as it was -- do you understand?" His
|
|
voice fell. "There was not a glimmer -- not a glimmer," he protested
|
|
mournfully. "Don't you understand that if there had been, you
|
|
would not have seen me here? You see me -- and you doubt."
|
|
|
|
'I shook my head negatively. This question of the lights being
|
|
lost sight of when the boat could not have been more than a quarter
|
|
of a mile from the ship was a matter for much discussion. Jim stuck
|
|
to it that there was nothing to be seen after the first shower had
|
|
cleared away; and the others had affirmed the same thing to the
|
|
officers of the Avondale. Of course people shook their heads and
|
|
smiled. One old skipper who sat near me in court tickled my ear
|
|
with his white beard to murmur, "Of course they would lie." As a
|
|
matter of fact nobody lied; not even the chief engineer with his
|
|
story of the mast-head light dropping like a match you throw down.
|
|
Not consciously, at least. A man with his liver in such a state might
|
|
very well have seen a floating spark in the corner of his eye when
|
|
stealing a hurried glance over his shoulder. They had seen no light
|
|
of any sort though they were well within range, and they could only
|
|
explain this in one way: the ship had gone down. It was obvious
|
|
and comforting. The foreseen fact coming so swiftly had justified
|
|
their haste. No wonder they did not cast about for any other expla-
|
|
nation. Yet the true one was very simple, and as soon as Brierly
|
|
suggested it the court ceased to bother about the question. If you
|
|
remember, the ship had been stopped, and was lying with her head
|
|
on the course steered through the night, with her stern canted high
|
|
and her bows brought low down in the water through the filling of
|
|
the fore-compartment. Being thus out of trim, when the squall
|
|
struck her a little on the quarter, she swung head to wind as sharply
|
|
as though she had been at anchor. By this change in her position all
|
|
her lights were in a very few moments shut off from the boat to
|
|
leeward. It may very well be that, had they been seen, they would
|
|
have had the effect of a mute appeal -- that their glimmer lost in the
|
|
darkness of the cloud would have had the mysterious power of the
|
|
human glance that can awaken the feelings of remorse and pity. It
|
|
would have said, "I am here -- still here" . . . and what more can
|
|
the eye of the most forsaken of human beings say? But she turned
|
|
her back on them as if in disdain of their fate: she had swung round,
|
|
burdened, to glare stubbornly at the new danger of the open sea
|
|
which she so strangely survived to end her days in a breaking-up
|
|
yard, as if it had been her recorded fate to die obscurely under the
|
|
blows of many hammers. What were the various ends their destiny
|
|
provided for the pilgrims I am unable to say; but the immediate
|
|
future brought, at about nine o'clock next morning, a French gun-
|
|
boat homeward bound from Reunion. The report of her com-
|
|
mander was public property. He had swept a little out of his course
|
|
to ascertain what was the matter with that steamer floating danger-
|
|
ously by the head upon a still and hazy sea. There was an ensign,
|
|
union down, flying at her main gaff (the serang had the sense to
|
|
make a signal of distress at daylight); but the cooks were preparing
|
|
the food in the cooking-boxes forward as usual. The decks were
|
|
packed as close as a sheep-pen: there were people perched all along
|
|
the rails, jammed on the bridge in a solid mass; hundreds of eyes
|
|
stared, and not a sound was heard when the gunboat ranged abreast,
|
|
as if all that multitude of lips had been sealed by a spell.
|
|
|
|
'The Frenchman hailed, could get no intelligible reply, and after
|
|
ascertaining through his binoculars that the crowd on deck did not
|
|
look plague-stricken, decided to send a boat. Two officers came on
|
|
board, listened to the serang, tried to talk with the Arab, couldn't
|
|
make head or tail of it: but of course the nature of the emergency was
|
|
obvious enough. They were also very much struck by discovering a
|
|
white man, dead and curled up peacefully on the bridge. "Fort
|
|
intrigues par ce cadavre," as I was informed a long time after by an
|
|
elderly French lieutenant whom I came across one afternoon in
|
|
Sydney, by the merest chance, in a sort of cafe, and who remem-
|
|
bered the affair perfectly. Indeed this affair, I may notice in passing,
|
|
had an extraordinary power of defying the shortness of memories
|
|
and the length of time: it seemed to live, with a sort of uncanny
|
|
vitality, in the minds of men, on the tips of their tongues. I've had
|
|
the questionable pleasure of meeting it often, years afterwards,
|
|
thousands of miles away, emerging from the remotest possible talk,
|
|
coming to the surface of the most distant allusions. Has it not turned
|
|
up to-night between us? And I am the only seaman here. I am the
|
|
only one to whom it is a memory. And yet it has made its way out!
|
|
But if two men who, unknown to each other, knew of this affair
|
|
met accidentally on any spot of this earth, the thing would pop up
|
|
between them as sure as fate, before they parted. I had never seen
|
|
that Frenchman before, and at the end of an hour we had done with
|
|
each other for life: he did not seem particularly talkative either; he
|
|
was a quiet, massive chap in a creased uniform, sitting drowsily
|
|
over a tumbler half full of some dark liquid. His shoulder-straps
|
|
were a bit tarnished, his clean-shaved cheeks were large and sallow;
|
|
he looked like a man who would be given to taking snuff -- don't
|
|
you know? I won't say he did; but the habit would have fitted that
|
|
kind of man. It all began by his handing me a number of Home
|
|
News, which I didn't want, across the marble table. I said "Merci."
|
|
We exchanged a few apparently innocent remarks, and suddenly,
|
|
before I knew how it had come about, we were in the midst of it,
|
|
and he was telling me how much they had been "intrigued by that
|
|
corpse." It turned out he had been one of the boarding officers.
|
|
|
|
'In the establishment where we sat one could get a variety of
|
|
foreign drinks which were kept for the visiting naval officers, and
|
|
he took a sip of the dark medical-looking stuff, which probably was
|
|
nothing more nasty than cassis a l'eau, and glancing with one eye
|
|
into the tumbler, shook his head slightly. "Impossible de com-
|
|
prendre -- vous concevez," he said, with a curious mixture of uncon-
|
|
cern and thoughtfulness. I could very easily conceive how
|
|
impossible it had been for them to understand. Nobody in the
|
|
gunboat knew enough English to get hold of the story as told by
|
|
the serang. There was a good deal of noise, too, round the two
|
|
officers. "They crowded upon us. There was a circle round that
|
|
dead man (autour de ce mort)," he described. "One had to attend to
|
|
the most pressing. These people were beginning to agitate them-
|
|
selves -- Parbleu! A mob like that -- don't you see?" he interjected
|
|
with philosophic indulgence. As to the bulkhead, he had advised
|
|
his commander that the safest thing was to leave it alone, it was so
|
|
villainous to look at. They got two hawsers on board promptly (en
|
|
toute hale) and took the Patna in tow -- stern foremost at that --
|
|
which, under the circumstances, was not so foolish, since the rudder
|
|
was too much out of the water to be of any great use for steering,
|
|
and this manoeuvre eased the strain on the bulkhead, whose state,
|
|
he expounded with stolid glibness, demanded the greatest care
|
|
(exigeait les plus grands menagements). I could not help thinking that
|
|
my new acquaintance must have had a voice in most of these
|
|
arrangements: he looked a reliable officer, no longer very active,
|
|
and he was seamanlike too, in a way, though as he sat there, with
|
|
his thick fingers clasped lightly on his stomach, he reminded you
|
|
of one of those snuffy, quiet village priests, into whose ears are
|
|
poured the sins, the sufferings, the remorse of peasant generations,
|
|
on whose faces the placid and simple expression is like a veil thrown
|
|
over the mystery of pain and distress. He ought to have had a
|
|
threadbare black soutane buttoned smoothly up to his ample chin,
|
|
instead of a frock-coat with shoulder-straps and brass buttons. His
|
|
broad bosom heaved regularly while he went on telling me that it
|
|
had been the very devil of a job, as doubdess (sans doute) I could
|
|
figure to myself in my quality of a seaman (en votre qualite de marin).
|
|
At the end of the period he inclined his body slightly towards me,
|
|
and, pursing his shaved lips, allowed the air to escape with a gentle
|
|
hiss. "Luckily," he continued, "the sea was level like this table,
|
|
and there was no more wind than there is here." . . . The place
|
|
struck me as indeed intolerably stuffy, and very hot; my face burned
|
|
as though I had been young enough to be embarrassed and blushing.
|
|
They had directed their course, he pursued, to the nearest English
|
|
port "naturellement," where their responsibility ceased, "Dieu
|
|
merci." ... He blew out his flat cheeks a little.... "Because, mind
|
|
you (notez bien), all the time of towing we had two quartermasters
|
|
stationed with axes by the hawsers, to cut us clear of our tow in case
|
|
she . . ." He fluttered downwards his heavy eyelids, making his
|
|
meaning as plain as possible.... "What would you! One does what
|
|
one can (on fait ce qu'on peut)," and for a moment he managed to
|
|
invest his ponderous immobility with an air of resignation. "Two
|
|
quartermasters -- thirty hours -- always there. Two!" he repeated,
|
|
lifting up his right hand a little, and exhibiting two fingers. This
|
|
was absolutely the first gesture I saw him make. It gave me the
|
|
opportunity to "note" a starred scar on the back of his hand -- effect
|
|
of a gunshot clearly; and, as if my sight had been made more acute
|
|
by this discovery, I perceived also the seam of an old wound, begin-
|
|
ning a little below the temple and going out of sight under the short
|
|
grey hair at the side of his head -- the graze of a spear or the cut of
|
|
a sabre. He clasped his hands on his stomach again. "I remained
|
|
on board that -- that -- my memory is going (s'en va). Ah! Patt-na.
|
|
C'est bien ca. Patt-na. Merci. It is droll how one forgets. I stayed on
|
|
that ship thirty hours...."
|
|
|
|
' "You did!" I exclaimed. Still gazing at his hands, he pursed his
|
|
lips a little, but this time made no hissing sound. "It was judged
|
|
proper," he said, lifting his eyebrows dispassionately, "that one of
|
|
the officers should remain to keep an eye open (pour ouvrir
|
|
l'oeil)" . . . he sighed idly . . . "and for communicating by signals
|
|
with the towing ship -- do you see? -- and so on. For the rest, it was
|
|
my opinion too. We made our boats ready to drop over -- and I also
|
|
on that ship took measures.... Enfin! One has done one's possible.
|
|
It was a delicate position. Thirty hours! They prepared me some
|
|
food. As for the wine -- go and whistle for it -- not a drop." In some
|
|
extraordinary way, without any marked change in his inert attitude
|
|
and in the placid expression of his face, he managed to convey the
|
|
idea of profound disgust. "I -- you know -- when it comes to eating
|
|
without my glass of wine -- I am nowhere."
|
|
|
|
'I was afraid he would enlarge upon the grievance, for though he
|
|
didn't stir a limb or twitch a feature, he made one aware how much
|
|
he was irritated by the recollection. But he seemed to forget all
|
|
about it. They delivered their charge to the "port authorities," as
|
|
he expressed it. He was struck by the calmness with which it had
|
|
been received. "One might have thought they had such a droll find
|
|
(drole de trouvaille) brought them every day. You are extraordinary --
|
|
you others," he commented, with his back propped against the
|
|
wall, and looking himself as incapable of an emotional display as a
|
|
sack of meal. There happened to be a man-of-war and an Indian
|
|
Marine steamer in dhe harbour at the time, and he did not conceal
|
|
his admiration of the efficient manner in which the boats of these
|
|
two ships cleared the Patna of her passengers. Indeed his torpid
|
|
demeanour concealed nothing: it had that mysterious, almost mir-
|
|
aculous, power of producing striking effects by means impossible
|
|
of detection which is the last word of the highest art. "Twenty-
|
|
five munutes -- watch in hand -- twenty-five, no more." . . . He
|
|
unclasped and clasped again his fingers without removing his hands
|
|
from his stomach, and made it infinitely more effective than if he
|
|
had thrown up his arms to heaven in amazement.... "All that lot
|
|
(tout ce monde) on shore -- with their little affairs -- nobody left but
|
|
a guard of seamen (marins de l'Etat) and that interesting corpse
|
|
(cet interessant cadavre). Twenty-five minutes." . . . With downcast
|
|
eyes and his head tilted slightly on one side he seemed to roll know-
|
|
ingly on his tongue the savour of a smart bit of work. He persuaded
|
|
one without any further demonstration that his approval was emi-
|
|
nendy worth having, and resuming his hardly interrupted immo-
|
|
bility he went on to inform me that, being under orders to make
|
|
the best of their way to Toulon, they left in two hours' time, "so
|
|
that (de sorte que) there are many things in this incident of my life
|
|
(dans cet episode de ma vie) which have remained obscure." '
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 13
|
|
|
|
'After these words, and without a change of attitude, he, so to
|
|
speak, submitted himself passively to a state of silence. I kept him
|
|
company; and suddenly, but not abruptly, as if the appointed time
|
|
had arrived for his moderate and husky voice to come out of his
|
|
immobility, he pronounced, "Mon Dieu! how the time passes!"
|
|
Nothing could have been more commonplace than this remark;
|
|
but its utterance coincided for me with a moment of vision. It's
|
|
extraordinary how we go through life with eyes half shut, with dull
|
|
ears, with dormant thoughts. Perhaps it's just as well; and it may
|
|
be that it is this very dullness that makes life to the incalculable
|
|
majority so supportable and so welcome. Nevertheless, there can
|
|
be but few of us who had never known one of these rare moments
|
|
of awakening when we see, hear, understand ever so much -- every-
|
|
thing -- in a flash -- before we fall back again into our agreeable
|
|
somnolence. I raised my eyes when he spoke, and I saw him as
|
|
though I had never seen him before. I saw his chin sunk on his
|
|
breast, the clumsy folds of his coat, his clasped hands, his motion-
|
|
less pose, so curiously suggestive of his having been simply left
|
|
there. Time had passed indeed: it had overtaken him and gone
|
|
ahead. It had left him hopelessly behind with a few poor gifts: the
|
|
iron-grey hair, the heavy fatigue of the tanned face, two scars, a
|
|
pair of tarnished shoulder-straps; one of those steady, reliable men
|
|
who are the raw material of great reputations, one of those
|
|
uncounted lives that are buried without drums and trumpets under
|
|
the foundations of monumental successes. "I am now third lieuten-
|
|
ant of the Victorieuse" (she was the flagship of the French Pacific
|
|
squadron at the time), he said, detaching his shoulders from the
|
|
wall a couple of inches to introduce himself. I bowed slightly on my
|
|
side of the table, and told him I commanded a merchant vessel at
|
|
present anchored in Rushcutters' Bay. He had "remarked" her, --
|
|
a pretty little craft. He was very civil about it in his impassive way.
|
|
I even fancy he went the length of tilting his head in compliment
|
|
as he repeated, breathing visibly the while, "Ah, yes. A little craft
|
|
painted black -- very pretty -- very pretty (tres coquet)." After a time
|
|
he twisted his body slowly to face the glass door on our right. "A
|
|
dull town (triste ville)," he observed, staring into the street. It was
|
|
a brilliant day; a southerly buster was raging, and we could see the
|
|
passers-by, men and women, buffeted by the wind on the sidewalks,
|
|
the sunlit fronts of the houses across the road blurred by the tall
|
|
whirls of dust. "I descended on shore," he said, "to stretch my legs
|
|
a little, but . . ." He didn't finish, and sank into the depths of his
|
|
repose. "Pray -- tell me," he began, coming up ponderously, "what
|
|
was there at the bottom of this affair -- precisely (au juste)? It is
|
|
curious. That dead man, for instance -- and so on."
|
|
|
|
' "There were living men too," I said; "much more curious."
|
|
|
|
' "No doubt, no doubt," he agreed half audibly, then, as if after
|
|
mature consideration, murmured, "Evidently." I made no diffi-
|
|
culty in communicating to him what had interested me most in this
|
|
affair. It seemed as though he had a right to know: hadn't he spent
|
|
thirty hours on board the Palna -- had he not taken the succession,
|
|
so to speak, had he not done "his possible"? He listened to me,
|
|
looking more priest-like than ever, and with what -- probably on
|
|
account of his downcast eyes -- had the appearance of devout concen-
|
|
tration. Once or twice he elevated his eyebrows (but without raising
|
|
his eyelids), as one would say "The devil!" Once he calmly
|
|
exclaimed, "Ah, bah!" under his breath, and when I had finished
|
|
he pursed his lips in a deliberate way and emitted a sort of sorrowful
|
|
whistle.
|
|
|
|
'In any one else it might have been an evidence of boredom, a
|
|
sign of indifference; but he, in his occult way, managed to make
|
|
his immobility appear profoundly responsive, and as full of valuable
|
|
thoughts as an egg is of meat. What he said at last was nothing
|
|
more than a "Very interesting," pronounced politely, and not much
|
|
above a whisper. Before I got over my disappointment he added,
|
|
but as if speaking to himself, "That's it. That is it." His chin seemed
|
|
to sink lower on his breast, his body to weigh heavier on his seat. I
|
|
was about to ask him what he meant, when a sort of preparatory
|
|
tremor passed over his whole person, as a faint ripple may be seen
|
|
upon stagnant water even before the wind is felt. "And so that poor
|
|
young man ran away along with the others," he said, with grave
|
|
tranquillity.
|
|
|
|
'I don't know what made me smile: it is the only genuine smile
|
|
of mine I can remember in connection with Jim's affair. But some-
|
|
how this simple statement of the matter sounded funny in
|
|
French.... "S'est enfui avec les autres," had said the lieutenant.
|
|
And suddenly I began to admire the discrimination of the man. He
|
|
had made out the point at once: he did get hold of the only thing I
|
|
cared about. I felt as though I were taking professional opinion on
|
|
the case. His imperturbable and mature calmness was that of an
|
|
expert in possession of the facts, and to whom one's perplexities are
|
|
mere child's-play. "Ah! The young, the young," he said indul-
|
|
gently. "And after all, one does not die of it." "Die of what?" I
|
|
asked swiftly. "Of being afraid." He elucidated his meaning and
|
|
sipped his drink.
|
|
|
|
'I perceived that the three last fingers of his wounded hand were
|
|
stiff and could not move independently of each other, so that he
|
|
took up his tumbler with an ungainly clutch. "One is always afraid.
|
|
One may talk, but ..." He put down the glass awkwardly....
|
|
"The fear, the fear -- look you -- it is always there." . . . He touched
|
|
his breast near a brass button, on the very spot where Jim had given
|
|
a thump to his own when protesting that there was nothing the
|
|
matter with his heart. I suppose I made some sign of dissent,
|
|
because he insisted, "Yes! yes! One talks, one talks; this is all very
|
|
fine; but at the end of the reckoning one is no cleverer than the next
|
|
man -- and no more brave. Brave! This is always to be seen. I
|
|
have rolled my hump (roule ma bosse)," he said, using the slang
|
|
expression with imperturbable seriousness, "in all parts of the
|
|
world; I have known brave men -- famous ones! Allez!" . . . He
|
|
drank carelessly.... "Brave -- you conceive -- in the Service -- one
|
|
has got to be -- the trade demands it (le metier veut ca). Is it not so?"
|
|
he appealed to me reasonably. "Eh bien! Each of them -- I say each
|
|
of them, if he were an honest man -- bien entendu -- would confess
|
|
that there is a point -- there is a point -- for the best of us -- there is
|
|
somewhere a point when you let go everything (vous lachez tout).
|
|
And you have got to live with that truth -- do you see? Given a
|
|
certain combination of circumstances, fear is sure to come. Abomin-
|
|
able funk (un trac epouvantable). And even for those who do not
|
|
believe this truth there is fear all the same -- the fear of themselves.
|
|
Absolutely so. Trust me. Yes. Yes.... At my age one knows what
|
|
one is talking about - que diable!" . . . He had delivered himself of
|
|
all this as immovably as though he had been the mouthpiece of
|
|
abstract wisdom, but at this point he heightened the effect of
|
|
detachment by beginning to twirl his thumbs slowly. "It's evident --
|
|
parbleu!" he continued; "for, make up your mind as much as you
|
|
like, even a simple headache or a fit of indigestion (un derangement
|
|
d'estomac) is enough to . . . Take me, for instance -- I have made
|
|
my proofs. Eh bien! I, who am speaking to you, once . . ."
|
|
|
|
'He drained his glass and returned to his twirling. "No, no; one
|
|
does not die of it," he pronounced finally, and when I found he did
|
|
not mean to proceed with the personal anecdote, I was extremely
|
|
disappointed; the more so as it was not the sort of story, you know,
|
|
one could very well press him for. I sat silent, and he too, as if
|
|
nothing could please him better. Even his thumbs were still now.
|
|
Suddenly his lips began to move. "That is so," he resumed placidly.
|
|
"Man is born a coward (L'homme est ne poltron). It is a difficulty --
|
|
parbleu! It would be too easy other vise. But habit -- habit -- neces-
|
|
sity -- do you see? -- the eye of others -- voila. One puts up with it.
|
|
And then the example of others who are no better than yourself,
|
|
and yet make good countenance...."
|
|
|
|
'His voice ceased.
|
|
|
|
' "That young man -- you will observe -- had none of these induce-
|
|
ments -- at least at the moment," I remarked.
|
|
|
|
'He raised his eyebrows forgivingly: "I don't say; I don't say.
|
|
The young man in question might have had the best dispositions --
|
|
the best dispositions," he repeated, wheezing a little.
|
|
|
|
' "I am glad to see you taking a lenient view," I said. 'His own
|
|
feeling in the matter was -- ah! -- hopeful, and . . ."
|
|
|
|
'The shuffle of his feet under the table interrupted me. He drew
|
|
up his heavy eyelids. Drew up, I say -- no other expression can
|
|
describe the steady deliberation of the act -- and at last was disclosed
|
|
completely to me. I was confronted by two narrow grey circlets,
|
|
like two tiny steel rings around the profound blackness of the
|
|
pupils. The sharp glance, coming from that massive body, gave
|
|
a notion of extreme efficiency, like a razor-edge on a battle-axe.
|
|
"Pardon," he said punctiliously. His right hand went up, and he
|
|
swayed forward. "Allow me . . . I contended that one may get on
|
|
knowing very well that one's courage does not come of itself (ne
|
|
vient pas tout seul). There's nothing much in that to get upset
|
|
about. One truth the more ought not to make life impossible....
|
|
But the honour -- the honour, monsieur! . . . The honour . . . that
|
|
is real -- that is! And what life may be worth when" . . . he got on
|
|
his feet with a ponderous impetuosity, as a startled ox might scram-
|
|
ble up from the grass . . . "when the honour is gone -- ah ca! par
|
|
exemple -- I can offer no opinion. I can offer no opinion -- because --
|
|
monsieur -- I know nothing of it."
|
|
|
|
'I had risen too, and, tnrying to throw infinite politeness into our
|
|
attitudes, we faced each other mutely, like two china dogs on a
|
|
mantelpiece. Hang the fellow! he had pricked the bubble. The
|
|
blight of futility that lies in wait for men's speeches had fallen upon
|
|
our conversation, and made it a thing of empty sounds. "Very
|
|
well," I said, with a disconcerted smile; "but couldn't it reduce
|
|
itself to not being found out?" He made as if to retort readily, but
|
|
when he spoke he had changed his mind. "This, monsieur, is too
|
|
fine for me -- much above me -- I don't think about it." He bowed
|
|
heavily over his cap, which he held before him by the peak, between
|
|
the thumb and the forefinger of his wounded hand. I bowed too.
|
|
We bowed together: we scraped our feet at each other with much
|
|
ceremony, while a dirty specimen of a waiter looked on critically,
|
|
as though he had paid for the performance. "Serviteur," said the
|
|
Frenchman. Another scrape. "Monsieur" . . . "Monsieur." . . .
|
|
The glass door swung behind his burly back. I saw the southerly
|
|
buster get hold of him and drive him down wind with his hand to
|
|
his head, his shoulders braced, and the tails of his coat blown hard
|
|
against his legs.
|
|
|
|
'I sat down again alone and discouraged -- discouraged about
|
|
Jim's case. If you wonder that after more than three years it had
|
|
preserved its actuality, you must know that I had seen him only
|
|
very lately. I had come straight from Samarang, where I had loaded
|
|
a cargo for Sydney: an utterly uninteresting bit of business, -- what
|
|
Charley here would call one of my rational transactions, -- and in
|
|
Samarang I had seen something of Jim. He was then working for De
|
|
Jongh, on my recommendation. Water-clerk. "My representative
|
|
afloat," as De Jongh called him. You can't imagine a mode of life
|
|
more barren of consolation, less capable of being invested with a
|
|
spark of glamour -- unless it be the business of an insurance can-
|
|
vasser. Little Bob Stanton -- Charley here knew him well -- had gone
|
|
through that experience. The same who got drowned afterwards
|
|
trying to save a lady's-maid in the Sephora disaster. A case of colli-
|
|
sion on a hazy morning off the Spanish coast -- you may remember.
|
|
All the passengers had been packed tidily into the boats and shoved
|
|
clear of the ship, when Bob sheered alongside again and scrambled
|
|
back on deck to fetch that girl. How she had been left behind I
|
|
can't make out; anyhow, she had gone completely crazy -- wouldn't
|
|
leave the ship -- held to the rail like grim death. The wrestling-
|
|
match could be seen plainly from the boats; but poor Bob was the
|
|
shortest chief mate in the merchant senice, and the woman stood
|
|
five feet ten in her shoes and was as strong as a horse, I've been told.
|
|
So it went on, pull devil, pull baker, the wretched girl screaming all
|
|
the time, and Bob letting out a yell now and then to warn his boat
|
|
to keep well clear of the ship. One of the hands told me, hiding a
|
|
smile at the recollection, "It was for all the world, sir, like a naughty
|
|
youngster fighting with his mother. " The same old chap said that
|
|
"At the last we could see that Mr. Stanton had given up hauling at
|
|
the gal, and just stood by looking at her, watchful like. We thought
|
|
afterwards he must've been reckoning that, maybe, the rush of
|
|
water would tear her away from the rail by-and-by and give him a
|
|
show to save her. We daren't come alongside for our life; and after
|
|
a bit the old ship went down all on a sudden with a lurch to star-
|
|
board -- plop. The suck in was something awful. We never saw
|
|
anything alive or dead come up." Poor Bob's spell of shore-life had
|
|
been one of the complications of a love affair, I believe. He fondly
|
|
hoped he had done with the sea for ever, and made sure he had got
|
|
hold of all the bliss on earth, but it came to canvassing in the end.
|
|
Some cousin of his in Liverpool put up to it. He used to tell us
|
|
his experiences in that line. He made us laugh till we cried, and,
|
|
not altogether displeased at the effect, undersized and bearded to
|
|
the waist like a gnome, he would tiptoe amongst us and say, "It's
|
|
all very well for you beggars to laugh, but my immortal soul was
|
|
shrivelled down to the size of a parched pea after a week of that
|
|
work." I don't know how Jim's soul accommodated itself to the
|
|
new conditions of his life -- I was kept too busy in getting him
|
|
something to do that would keep body and soul together -- but I am
|
|
pretty certain his adventurous fancy was suffering all the pangs of
|
|
starvation. It had certainly nothing to feed upon in this new calling.
|
|
It was distressing to see him at it, though he tackled it with a
|
|
stubborn serenity for which I must give him full credit. I kept my
|
|
eye on his shabby plodding with a sort of notion that it was a
|
|
punishment for the heroics of his fancy -- an expiation for his craving
|
|
after more glamour than he could carry . He had loved too well to
|
|
imagine himself a glorious racehorse, and now he was condemned
|
|
to toil without honour like a costermonger's donkey. He did it very
|
|
well. He shut himself in, put his head down, said never a word.
|
|
Very well; very well indeed -- except for certain fantastic and violent
|
|
outbreaks, on the deplorable occasions when the irrepressible Patna
|
|
case cropped up. Unfortunately that scandal of the Eastern seas
|
|
would not die out. And this is the reason why I could never feel I
|
|
had done with Jim for good.
|
|
|
|
'I sat thinking of him after the French lieutenant had left, not,
|
|
however, in connection with De Jongh's cool and gloomy back-
|
|
shop, where we had hurriedly shaken hands not very long ago, but
|
|
as I had seen him years before in the last flickers of the candle, alone
|
|
with me in the long gallen of the Malabar House, with the chill
|
|
and the darkness of the night at his back. The respectable sword of
|
|
his country's law was suspended over his head. To-morrow -- or
|
|
was it to-day? (midnight had slipped by long before we parted) -- the
|
|
marble-faced police magistrate, after distributing fines and terms of
|
|
imprisonment in the assault-and-battery case, would take up the
|
|
awful weapon and smite his bowed neck. Our communion in the
|
|
night was uncommonly like a last vigil with a condemned man. He
|
|
was guilty too. He was guilty -- as I had told myself repeatedly,
|
|
guilty and done for; nevertheless, I wished to spare him the mere
|
|
detail of a formal execution. I don't pretend to explain the reasons
|
|
of my desire -- I don't think I could; but if you haven't got a sort of
|
|
notion by this time, then I must have been very obscure in my
|
|
narrative, or you too sleepy to seize upon the sense of my words. I
|
|
don't defend my morality. There was no morality in the impulse
|
|
which induced me to lay before him Brierly's plan of evasion -- I
|
|
may call it -- in all its primitive simplicity. There were the rupees --
|
|
absolutely ready in my pocket and very much at his service. Oh! a
|
|
loan; a loan of course -- and if an introduction to a man (in Rangoon)
|
|
who could put some work in his way . . . Why! with the greatest
|
|
pleasure. I had pen, ink, and paper in my room on the first floor
|
|
And even while I was speaking I was impatient to begin the letter --
|
|
day, month, yeu, 2.30 A.M.... for the sake of our old friendship
|
|
I ask you to put some work in the way of Mr. James So-and-so, in
|
|
whom, &c., &c.... I was even ready to write in that strain about
|
|
him. If he had not enlisted my sympathies he had done better for
|
|
himself -- he had gone to the very fount and origin of that sentiment
|
|
he had reached the secret sensibility of my egoism. I am concealing
|
|
nothing from you, because were I to do so my action would appear
|
|
more unintelligible than any man's action has the right to be, and --
|
|
in the second place -- to-morrow you will forget my sincerity along
|
|
with the other lessons of the past. In this transaction, to speak
|
|
grossly and precisely, I was the irreproachable man; but the subtle
|
|
intentions of my immorality were defeated by the moral simplicity
|
|
of the criminal. No doubt he was selfish too, but his selfishness had
|
|
a higher origin, a more lofty aim. I discovered that, say what I
|
|
would, he was eager to go through the ceremony of execution, and
|
|
I didn't say much, for I felt that in argument his youth would tell
|
|
against me heavily: he believed where I had already ceased to doubt.
|
|
There was something fine in the wildness of his unexpressed, hardly
|
|
formulated hope. "Clear out! Couldn't think of it," he said, with a
|
|
shake of the head. "I make you an offer for which I neither demand
|
|
nor expect any sort of gratitude," I said; "you shall repay the money
|
|
when convenient, and . . ." "Awfully good of you," he muttered
|
|
without looking up. I watched him narrowly: the future must have
|
|
appeared horribly uncertain to him; but he did not falter, as though
|
|
indeed there had been nothing wrong with his heart. I felt angry --
|
|
not for the first time that night. "The whole wretched business," I
|
|
said, "is bitter enough, I should think, for a man of your kind . . ."
|
|
"It is, it is," he whispered twice, with his eyes fixed on the floor. It
|
|
was heartrending. He towered above the light, and I could see the
|
|
down on his cheek, the colour mantling warm under the smooth
|
|
skin of his face. Believe me or not, I say it was outrageously heart-
|
|
rending. It provoked me to brutality. "Yes," I said; "and allow me
|
|
to confess that I am totally unable to imagine what advantage you
|
|
can expect from this licking of the dregs." "Advantage!" he mur-
|
|
mured out of his stillness. "I am dashed if I do," I said, enraged.
|
|
"I've been trying to tell you all there is in it," he went on slowly,
|
|
as if meditating something unanswerable. "But after all, it is my
|
|
trouble." I opened my mouth to retort, and discovered suddenly
|
|
that I'd lost all confidence in myself; and it was as if he too had
|
|
given me up, for he mumbled like a man thinking half aloud. "Went
|
|
away ... went into hospitals.... Not one of them would face
|
|
it.... They! ..." He moved his hand slightly to imply disdain.
|
|
"But I've got to get over this thing, and I mustn't shirk any of it
|
|
or . . . I won't shirk any of it." He was silent. He gazed as though
|
|
he had been haunted. His unconscious face reflected the passing
|
|
expressions of scorn, of despair, of resoludon -- reflected them in
|
|
turn, as a magic mirror would reflect the gliding passage of
|
|
unearthly shapes. He lived surrounded by deceitful ghosts, by aus-
|
|
tere shades. "Oh! nonsense, my dear fellow," I began. He had a
|
|
movement of impatience. "You don't seem to understand," he said
|
|
incisively; then looking at me without a wink, "I may have jumped,
|
|
but I don't run away." "I meant no offence," I said; and added
|
|
stupidly, "Better men than you have found it expedient to run, at
|
|
times." He coloured all over, while in my confusion I half-choked
|
|
myself with my own tongue. "Perhaps so," he said at last, "I am
|
|
not good enough; I can't afford it. I am bound to fight this thing
|
|
down -- I am fighting it now." I got out of my chair and felt stiff all
|
|
over. The silence was embarrassing, and to put an end to it I
|
|
imagined nothing better but to remark, "I had no idea it was so
|
|
late," in an airy tone.... "I dare say you have had enough of this,"
|
|
he said brusquely: "and to tell you the truth" -- he began to look
|
|
round for his hat -- "so have I."
|
|
|
|
'Well! he had refused this unique offer. He had struck aside my
|
|
helping hand; he was ready to go now, and beyond the balustrade
|
|
the night seemed to wait for him very still, as though he had been
|
|
marked down for its prey. I heard his voice. "Ah! here it is." He
|
|
had found his hat. For a few seconds we hung in the wind. "What
|
|
will you do after -- after . . ." I asked very low. "Go to the dogs as
|
|
likely as not," he answered in a gruff mutter. I had recovered my
|
|
wits in a measure, and judged best to take it lightly. "Pray remem-
|
|
ber," I said, "that I should like very much to see you again before
|
|
you go." "I don't know what's to prevent you. The damned thing
|
|
won't make me invisible," he said with intense bitterness, -- "no
|
|
such luck." And then at the moment of taking leave he treated me
|
|
to a ghastly muddle of dubious stammers and movements, to an
|
|
awful display of hesitations. God forgive him -- me! He had taken
|
|
it into his fanciful head that I was likely to make some difficulty as
|
|
to shaking hands. It was too awful for words. I believe I shouted
|
|
suddenly at him as you would bellow to a man you saw about to walk
|
|
over a cliff; I remember our voices being raised, the appearance of
|
|
a miserable grin on his face, a crushing clutch on my hand, a nervous
|
|
laugh. The candle spluttered out, and the thing was over at last,
|
|
with a groan that floated up to me in the dark. He got himself
|
|
away somehow. The night swallowed his form. He was a horrible
|
|
bungler. Horrible. I heard the quick crunch-crunch of the gravel
|
|
under his boots. He was running. Absolutely running, with
|
|
nowhere to go to. And he was not yet four-and-twenty.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 14
|
|
|
|
'I slept little, hurried over my breakfast, and after a slight hesita-
|
|
tion gave up my early morning visit to my ship. It was really very
|
|
wrong of me, because, though my chief mate was an excellent man
|
|
all round, he was the victim of such black imaginings that if he did
|
|
not get a letter from his wife at the expected time he would go quite
|
|
distracted with rage and jealousy, lose all grip on the work, quarrel
|
|
with all hands, and either weep in his cabin or develop such a
|
|
ferocity of temper as all but drove the crew to the verge of mutiny.
|
|
The thing had always seemed inexplicable to me: they had been
|
|
married thirteen years; I had a glimpse of her once, and, honestly,
|
|
I couldn't conceive a man abandoned enough to plunge into sin for
|
|
the sake of such an unattractive person. I don't know whether I
|
|
have not done wrong by refraining from putting that view before
|
|
poor Selvin: the man made a little hell on earth for himself, and I
|
|
also suffered indirectly, but some sort of, no doubt, false delicacy
|
|
prevented me. The marital relations of seamen would make an
|
|
interesting subject, and I could tell you instances.... However,
|
|
this is not the place, nor the time, and we are concerned with Jim --
|
|
who was unmarried. If his imaginative conscience or his pride; if all
|
|
the extravagant ghosts and austere shades that were the disastrous
|
|
familiars of his youth would not let him run away from the block,
|
|
I, who of course can't be suspected of such familiars, was irresistibly
|
|
impelled to go and see his head roll off. I wended my way towards
|
|
the court. I didn't hope to be very much impressed or edified, or
|
|
interested or even frightened -- though, as long as there is any life
|
|
before one, a jolly good fright now and then is a salutary discipline.
|
|
But neither did I expect to be so awfully depressed. The bitterness
|
|
of his punishment was in its chill and mean atmosphere. The real
|
|
significance of crime is in its being a breach of faith with the com-
|
|
munity of mankind, and from that point of view he was no mean
|
|
traitor, but his execution was a hole-and-corner affair. There was
|
|
no high scaffolding, no scarlet cloth (did they have scarlet cloth on
|
|
Tower Hill? They should have had), no awe-stricken multitude to
|
|
be horrified at his guilt and be moved to tears at his fate -- no air of
|
|
sombre retribution. There was, as I walked along, the clear sun-
|
|
shine, a brilliance too passionate to be consoling, the streets full of
|
|
jumbled bits of colour like a damaged kaleidoscope: yellow, green,
|
|
blue, dazzling white, the brown nudity of an undraped shoulder, a
|
|
bullock-cart with a red canopy, a company of native infantry in a
|
|
drab body with dark heads marching in dusty laced boots, a native
|
|
policeman in a sombre uniform of scanty cut and belted in patent
|
|
leather, who looked up at me with orientally pitiful eyes as though
|
|
his migrating spirit were suffering exceedingly from that unfore-
|
|
seen -- what d'ye call 'em? -- avatar -- incarnation. Under the shade
|
|
of a lonely tree in the courtyard, the villagers connected with the
|
|
assault case sat in a picturesque group, looking like a chromo-litho-
|
|
graph of a camp in a book of Eastern travel. One missed the obliga-
|
|
tory thread of smoke in the foreground and the pack-animals
|
|
grazing. A blank yellow wall rose behind overtopping the tree,
|
|
reflecdng the glare. The court-room was sombre, seemed more vast.
|
|
High up in the dim space the punkahs were swaying short to and
|
|
fro, to and fro. Here and there a draped figure, dwarfed by the
|
|
bare walls, remained without stirring amongst the rows of empty
|
|
benches, as if absorbed in pious meditation. The plaintiff, who had
|
|
been beaten, -- an obese chocolate-coloured man with shaved head,
|
|
one fat breast bare and a bright yellow caste-mark above the bridge
|
|
of his nose, -- sat in pompous immobility: only his eyes glittered,
|
|
rolling in the gloom, and the nostrils dilated and collapsed violently
|
|
as he breathed. Brierly dropped into his seat looking done up, as
|
|
though he had spent the night in sprinting on a cinder-track. The
|
|
pious sailing-ship skipper appeared excited and made uneasy move-
|
|
ments, as if restraining with difficulty an impulse to stand up and
|
|
exhort us earnestly to prayer and repentance. The head of the
|
|
magistrate, delicately pale under the neatly arranged hair,
|
|
resembled the head of a hopeless invalid after he had been washed
|
|
and brushed and propped up in bed. He moved aside the vase of
|
|
flowers -- a bunch of purple with a few pink blossoms on long stalks --
|
|
and seizing in both hands a long sheet of bluish paper, ran his eye
|
|
over it, propped his forearms on the edge of the desk, and began to
|
|
read aloud in an even, distinct, and careless voice.
|
|
|
|
'By Jove! For all my foolishness about scaffolds and heads rolling
|
|
off -- I assure you it was infinitely worse than a beheading. A heavy
|
|
sense of finality brooded over all this, unrelieved by the hope of rest
|
|
and safety following the fall of the axe. These proceedings had
|
|
all the cold vengefulness of a death-sentence, and the cruelty of a
|
|
sentence of exile. This is how I looked at it that morning -- and even
|
|
now I seem to see an undeniable vestige of truth in that exaggerated
|
|
view of a common occurrence. You may imagine how strongly I felt
|
|
this at the time. Perhaps it is for that reason that I could not bring
|
|
myself to admit the finality. The thing was always with me, I was
|
|
always eager to take opinion on it, as though it had not been practi-
|
|
cally settled: individual opinion -- international opinion -- by Jove!
|
|
That Frenchman's, for instance. His own country's pronouncement
|
|
was uttered in the passionless and definite phraseology a machine
|
|
would use, if machines could speak. The head of the magistrate was
|
|
half hidden by the paper, his brow was like alabaster.
|
|
|
|
'There were several questions before the court. The first as to
|
|
whether the ship was in every respect fit and seaworthy for the
|
|
voyage. The court found she was not. The next point, I remember,
|
|
was, whether up to the time of the accident the ship had been
|
|
navigated with proper and seamanlike care. They said Yes to that,
|
|
goodness knows why, and then they declared that there was no
|
|
evidence to show the exact cause of the accident. A floating derelict
|
|
probably. I myself remember that a Norwegian barque bound out
|
|
with a cargo of pitch-pine had been given up as missing about that
|
|
time, and it was just the sort of craft that would capsize in a squall
|
|
and float bottom up for months -- a kind of maritime ghoul on the
|
|
prowl to kill ships in the dark. Such wandering corpses are common
|
|
enough in the North Atlantic, which is haunted by all the terrors
|
|
of the sea, -- fogs, icebergs, dead ships bent upon mischief, and long
|
|
sinister gales that fasten upon one like a vampire till all the strength
|
|
and the spirit and even hope are gone, and one feels like the empty
|
|
shell of a man. But there -- in those seas -- the incident was rare
|
|
enough to resemble a special arrangement of a malevolent provi-
|
|
dence, which, unless it had for its object the killing of a donkeyman
|
|
and the bringing of worse than death upon Jim, appeared an utterly
|
|
aimless piece of devilry. This view occurring to me took off my
|
|
attention. For a time I was aware of the magistrate's voice as a sound
|
|
merely; but in a moment it shaped itself into distinct words . . .
|
|
"in utter disregard of their plain duty," it said. The next sentence
|
|
escaped me somehow, and then . . . "abandoning in the moment
|
|
of danger the lives and property confided to their charge" . . . went
|
|
on the voice evenly, and stopped. A pair of eyes under the white
|
|
forehead shot darkly a glance above the edge of the paper. I looked
|
|
for Jim hurriedly, as though I had expected him to disappear. He
|
|
was very still -- but he was there. He sat pink and fair and extremely
|
|
attentive. "Therefore,..." began the voice emphatically. He
|
|
stared with parted lips, hanging upon the words of the man behind
|
|
the desk. These came out into the stillness wafted on the wind made
|
|
by the punkahs, and I, watching for their effect upon him, caught
|
|
only the fragments of official language.... "The Court...
|
|
Gustav So-and-so . . . master . . . native of Germany . . . James So-
|
|
and-so. . . mate . . . certificates cancelled." A silence fell. The
|
|
magistrate had dropped the paper, and, leaning sideways on the
|
|
arm of his chair, began to talk with Brierly easily. People started to
|
|
move out; others were pushing in, and I also made for the door.
|
|
Outside I stood still, and when Jim passed me on his way to the
|
|
gate, I caught at his arm and detained him. The look he gave dis-
|
|
composed me, as though I had been responsible for his state he
|
|
looked at me as if I had been the embodied evil of life. "It's all
|
|
over," I stammered. "Yes," he said thickly. "And now let no
|
|
man . . ." He jerked his arm out of my grasp. I watched his back
|
|
as he went away. It was a long street, and he remained in sight for
|
|
some time. He walked rather slow, and straddling his legs a little,
|
|
as if he had found it diffficult to keep a straight line. Just before I
|
|
lost him I fancied he staggered a bit.
|
|
|
|
' "Man overboard," said a deep voice behind me. Turning
|
|
round, I saw a fellow I knew slightly, a West Australian; Chester
|
|
was his name. He, too, had been looking after Jim. He was a man
|
|
with an immense girth of chest, a rugged, clean-shaved face of
|
|
mahogany colour, and two blunt tufts of iron-grey, thick, wiry hairs
|
|
on his upper lip. He had been pearler, wrecker, trader, whaler too,
|
|
I believe; in his own words -- anything and everything a man may
|
|
be at sea, but a pirate. The Pacific, north and south, was his proper
|
|
hunting-ground; but he had wandered so far afield looking for a
|
|
cheap steamer to buy. Lately he had discovered -- so he said -- a
|
|
guano island somewhere, but its approaches were dangerous, and
|
|
the anchorage, such as it was, could not be considered safe, to say
|
|
the least of it. "As good as a gold-mine," he would exclaim. "Right
|
|
bang in the middle of the Walpole Reefs, and if it's true enough
|
|
that you can get no holding-ground anywhere in less than forty
|
|
fathom, then what of that? There are the hurricanes, too. But it's
|
|
a first-rate thing. As good as a gold-mine -- better! Yet there's not
|
|
a fool of them that will see it. I can't get a skipper or a shipowner
|
|
to go near the place. So I made up my mind to cart the blessed stuff
|
|
myself." . . . This was what he required a steamer for, and I knew
|
|
he was just then negotiating enthusiastically with a Parsee firm for
|
|
an old, brig-rigged, sea-anachronism of ninety horse-power. We
|
|
had met and spoken together several times. He looked knowingly
|
|
after Jim. "Takes it to heart?" he asked scornfully. "Very much,"
|
|
I said. "Then he's no good," he opined. "What's all the to-do
|
|
about? A bit of ass's skin. That never yet made a man. You must
|
|
see things exactly as they are -- if you don't, you may just as well
|
|
give in at once. You will never do anything in this world. Look at
|
|
me. I made it a practice never to take anything to heart." "Yes," I
|
|
said, "you see things as they are." "I wish I could see my partner
|
|
coming along, that's what I wish to see," he said. "Know my part-
|
|
ner? Old Robinson. Yes; the Robinson. Don't you know? The
|
|
notorious Robinson. The man who smuggled more opium and
|
|
bagged more seals in his time than any loose Johnny now alive.
|
|
They say he used to board the sealing-schooners up Alaska way
|
|
when the fog was so thick that the Lord God, He alone, could tell
|
|
one man from another. Holy-Terror Robinson. That's the man. He
|
|
is with me in that guano thing. The best chance he ever came across
|
|
in his life." He put his lips to my ear. "Cannibal? -- well, they used
|
|
to give him the name years and years ago. You remember the story?
|
|
A shipwreck on the west side of Stewart Island; that's right; seven
|
|
of them got ashore, and it seems they did not get on very well
|
|
together. Some men are too cantankerous for anything -- don't know
|
|
how to make the best of a bad job -- don't see things as they are --
|
|
as they are, my boy! And then what's the consequence? Obvious!
|
|
Trouble, trouble; as likely as not a knock on the head; and serve
|
|
'em right too. That sort is the most useful when it's dead. The story
|
|
goes that a boat of Her Majesty's ship Wolverine found him kneeling
|
|
on the kelp, naked as the day he was born, and chanting some
|
|
psalm-tune or other; light snow was falling at the time. He waited
|
|
till the boat was an oar's length from the shore, and then up and
|
|
away. They chased him for an hour up and down the boulders, till
|
|
a marihe flung a stone that took him behind the ear providendally
|
|
and knocked him senseless. Alone? Of course. But that's like that
|
|
tale of sealing-schooners; the Lord God knows the right and the
|
|
wrong of that story. The cutter did not investigate much. They
|
|
wrapped him in a boat-cloak and took him off as quick as they
|
|
could, with a dark night coming on, the weather threatening, and
|
|
the ship firing recall guns every five minutes. Three weeks after-
|
|
wards he was as well as ever. He didn't allow any fuss that was made
|
|
on shore to upset him; he just shut his lips tight, and let people
|
|
screech. It was bad enough to have lost his ship, and all he was
|
|
worth besides, without paying attention to the hard names they
|
|
called him. That's the man for me." He lifted his arm for a signal
|
|
to some one down the street. "He's got a little money, so I had to
|
|
let him into my thing. Had to! It would have been sinful to throw
|
|
away such a find, and I was cleaned out myself. It cut me to the
|
|
quick, but I could see the matter just as it was, and if I must share --
|
|
thinks I -- with any man, then give me Robinson. I left him at
|
|
breakfast in the hotel to come to court, because I've an idea....
|
|
Ah! Good morning, Captain Robinson.... Friend of mine, Cap-
|
|
tain Robinson."
|
|
|
|
'An emaciated patriarch in a suit of white drill, a solah topi with
|
|
a green-lined rim on a head trembling with age, joined us after
|
|
crossing the street in a trotting shuffle, and stood propped with
|
|
both hands on the handle of an umbrella. A white beard with amber
|
|
streaks hung lumpily down to his waist. He blinked his creased
|
|
eyelids at me in a bewildered way. "How do you do? how do you
|
|
do?" he piped amiably, and tottered. "A little deaf," said Chester
|
|
aside. "Did you drag him over six thousand miles to get a cheap
|
|
steamer?" I asked. "I would have taken him twice round the world
|
|
as soon as look at him," said Chester with immense energy. "The
|
|
steamer will be the making of us, my lad. Is it my fault that every
|
|
skipper and shipowner in the whole of blessed Australasia turns out
|
|
a blamed fool? Once I talked for three hours to a man in Auckland.
|
|
'Send a ship,' I said, 'send a ship. I'll give you half of the first cargo
|
|
for yourself, free gratis for nothing -- just to make a good start.'
|
|
Says he, 'I wouldn't do it if there was no other place on earth to
|
|
send a ship to.' Perfect ass, of course. Rocks, currents, no anchor-
|
|
age, sheer cliff to lay to, no insurance company would take the risk,
|
|
didn't see how he could get loaded under three years. Ass! I nearly
|
|
went on my knees to him. 'But look at the thing as it is,' says I.
|
|
'Damn rocks and hurricanes. Look at it as it is. There's guano there
|
|
Queensland sugar-planters would fight for -- fight for on the quay,
|
|
I tell you.' . . . What can you do with a fool? . . . 'That's one of
|
|
your little jokes, Chester,' he says.... Joke! I could have wept.
|
|
Ask Captain Robinson here.... And there was another shipown-
|
|
ing fellow -- a fat chap in a white waistcoat in Wellington, who
|
|
seemed to think I was up to some swindle or other. 'I don't know
|
|
what sort of fool you're looking for,' he says, 'but I am busy just
|
|
now. Good morning.' I longed to take him in my two hands and
|
|
smash him through the window of his own office. But I didn't. I
|
|
was as mild as a curate. 'Think of it,' says I. 'Do think it over. I'll
|
|
call to-morrow.' He grunted something about being 'out all day.'
|
|
On the stairs I felt ready to beat my head against the wall from
|
|
vexation. Captain Robinson here can tell you. It was awful to think
|
|
of all that lovely stuff lying waste under the sun -- stuff that would
|
|
send the sugar-cane shooting sky-high. The making of Queensland!
|
|
The making of Queensland! And in Brisbane, where I went to have
|
|
a last try, they gave me the name of a lunatic. Idiots! The only
|
|
sensible man I came across was the cabman who drove me about.
|
|
A broken-down swell he was, I fancy. Hey! Captain Robinson? You
|
|
remember I told you about my cabby in Brisbane -- don't you? The
|
|
chap had a wonderful eye for things. He saw it all in a jiffy. It was
|
|
a real pleasure to talk with him. One evening after a devil of a day
|
|
amongst shipowners I felt so bad that, says I, 'I must get drunk.
|
|
Come along; I must get drunk, or I'll go mad. ' 'I am your man,' he
|
|
says; 'go ahead.' I don't know what I would have done without him.
|
|
Hey! Captain Robinson."
|
|
|
|
'He poked the ribs of his partner. "He! he! he!" laughed the
|
|
Ancient, looked aimlessly down the street, then peered at me doubt-
|
|
fully with sad, dim pupils.... "He! he! he!" ... He leaned heav-
|
|
ier on the umbrella, and dropped his gaze on the ground. I needn't
|
|
tell you I had tried to get away several times, but Chester had foiled
|
|
every attempt by simply catching hold of my coat. "One minute.
|
|
I've a notion." "What's your infernal notion?" I exploded at last.
|
|
"If you think I am going in with you . . ." "No, no, my boy. Too
|
|
late, if you wanted ever so much. We've got a steamer." "You've
|
|
got the ghost of a steamer," I said. "Good enough for a start --
|
|
there's no superior nonsense about us. Is there, Captain Robinson?"
|
|
"No! no! no!" croaked the old man without lifting his eyes, and the
|
|
senile tremble of his head became almost fierce with determination.
|
|
"I understand you know that young chap," said Chester, with a
|
|
nod at the street from which Jim had disappeared long ago. "He's
|
|
been having grub with you in the Malabar last night -- so I was
|
|
told."
|
|
|
|
'I said that was true, and after remarking that he too liked to live
|
|
well and in style, only that, for the present, he had to be saving of
|
|
every penny -- "none too many for the business! Isn't that so, Cap-
|
|
tain Robinson?" -- he squared his shoulders and stroked his dumpy
|
|
moustache, while the notorious Robinson, coughing at his side,
|
|
clung more than ever to the handle of the umbrella, and seemed
|
|
ready to subside passively into a heap of old bones. "You see, the
|
|
old chap has all the money," whispered Chester confidendally.
|
|
"I've been cleaned out trying to engineer the dratted thing. But
|
|
wait a bit, wait a bit. The good time is coming." . . . He seemed
|
|
suddenly astonished at the signs of impatience I gave. "Oh,
|
|
crakee!" he cried; "I am telling you of the biggest thing that ever
|
|
was, and you . . ." "I have an appointment," I pleaded mildly.
|
|
"What of that?" he asked with genuine surprise; "let it wait."
|
|
"That's exactly what I am doing now," I remarked; "hadn't you
|
|
better tell me what it is you want?" "Buy twenty hotels like that,"
|
|
he growled to himself; "and every joker boarding in them too --
|
|
twenty times over." He lifted his head smartly "I want that young
|
|
chap." "I don't understand," I said. "He's no good, is he?" said
|
|
Chester crisply. "I know nothing about it," I protested. "Why, you
|
|
told me yourself he was taking it to heart," argued Chester. "Well,
|
|
in my opinion a chap who . . . Anyhow, he can't be much good;
|
|
but then you see I am on the look-out for somebody, and I've just
|
|
got a thing that will suit him. I'll give him a job on my island." He
|
|
nodded significantly. "I'm going to dump forty coolies there -- if
|
|
I've to steal 'em. Somebody must work the stuff. Oh! I mean to act
|
|
square: wooden shed, corrugated-iron roof -- I know a man in
|
|
Hobart who will take my bill at six months for the materials. I do.
|
|
Honour bright. Then there's the water-supply. I'll have to fly round
|
|
and get somebody to trust me for half-a-dozen second-hand iron
|
|
tanks. Catch rain-water, hey? Let him take charge. Make him
|
|
supreme boss over the coolies. Good idea, isn't it? What do you
|
|
say?" "There are whole years when not a drop of rain falls on
|
|
Walpole," I said, too amazed to laugh. He bit his lip and seemed
|
|
bothered. "Oh, well, I wiU fix up something for them -- or land a
|
|
supply. Hang it all! That's not the question."
|
|
|
|
'I said nothing. I had a rapid vision of Jim perched on a shadow-
|
|
less rock, up to his knees in guano, with the screams of sea-birds
|
|
in his ears, the incandescent ball of the sun above his head; the
|
|
empty sky and the empty ocean all a-quiver, simmering together in
|
|
the heat as far as the eye could reach. "I wouldn't advise my worst
|
|
enemy . . ." I began. "What's the matter with you?" cried Chester;
|
|
"I mean to give him a good screw -- that is, as soon as the thing is
|
|
set going, of course. It's as easy as falling off a log. Simply nothing
|
|
to do; two six-shooters in his belt . . . Surely he wouldn't be afraid
|
|
of anyt}ung forty coolies could do -- with two six-shooters and he
|
|
the only armed man too! It's much better than it looks. I want you
|
|
to help me to talk him over." "No!" I shouted. Old Robinson lifted
|
|
his bleared eyes dismally for a moment, Chester looked at me with
|
|
infinite contempt. "So you wouldn't advise him?" he uttered
|
|
slowly. "Certainly not," I answered, as indignant as though he had
|
|
requested me to help murder somebody; "moreover, I am sure he
|
|
wouldn't. He is badly cut up, but he isn't mad as far as I know."
|
|
"He is no earthly good for anything," Chester mused aloud. "He
|
|
would just have done for me. If you only could see a thing as it is,
|
|
you would see it's the very thing for him. And besides . . . Why!
|
|
it's the most splendid, sure chance . . ." He got angry suddenly.
|
|
"I must have a man. There! . . ." He stamped his foot and smiled
|
|
unpleasantly. "Anyhow, I could guarantee the island wouldn't sink
|
|
under him -- and I believe he is a bit particular on that point."
|
|
"Good morning," I said curtly. He looked at me as though I had
|
|
been an incomprehensible fool.... "Must be moving, Captain
|
|
Robinson," he yelled suddenly into the old man's ear. "These
|
|
Parsee Johnnies are waiting for us to clinch the bargain." He took
|
|
his partner under the arm with a firm grip, swung him round, and,
|
|
unexpectedly, leered at me over his shoulder. "I was trying to do
|
|
him a kindness," he asserted, with an air and tone that made my
|
|
blood boil. "Thank you for nothing -- in his name," I rejoined.
|
|
"Oh! you are devilish smart," he sneered; "but you are like the rest
|
|
of them. Too much in the clouds. See what you will do with him."
|
|
"I don't know that I want to do anything with him." "Don't you?"
|
|
he spluttered; his grey moustache bristled with anger, and by his
|
|
side the notorious Robinson, propped on the umbrella, stood with
|
|
his back to me, as patient and still as a worn-out cab-horse. "I
|
|
haven't found a guano island," I said. "It's my belief you wouldn't
|
|
know one if you were led right up to it by the hand," he riposted
|
|
quickly; "and in this world you've got to see a thing first, before
|
|
you can make use of it. Got to see it through and through at that,
|
|
neither more nor less." "And get others to see it too," I insinuated,
|
|
with a glance at the bowed back by his side. Chester snorted at me.
|
|
"His eyes are right enough -- don't you worry. He ain't a puppy."
|
|
"Oh dear, no!" I said. "Come along, Captain Robinson," he
|
|
shouted, with a sort of bullying deference under the rim of the old
|
|
man's hat; the Holy Terror gave a submissive little jump. The ghost
|
|
of a steamer was waiting for them, Fortune on that fair isle! They
|
|
made a curious pair of Argonauts. Chester strode on leisurely, well
|
|
set up, portly, and of conquering mien; the other, long, wasted,
|
|
drooping, and hooked to his arm, shuffled his withered shanks with
|
|
desperate haste.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 15
|
|
|
|
'I did not start in search of Jim at once, only because I had really
|
|
an appointment which I could not neglect. Then, as ill-luck would
|
|
have it, in my agent's office I was fastened upon by a fellow fresh
|
|
from Madagascar with a little scheme for a wonderful piece of busi-
|
|
ness. It had something to do with cattle and cartridges and a Prince
|
|
Ravonalo something; but the pivot of the whole affair was the stu-
|
|
pidity of some admiral -- Admiral Pierre, I think. Everything turned
|
|
on that, and the chap couldn't find words strong enough to express
|
|
his confidence. He had globular eyes starting out of his head with
|
|
a fishy glitter, bumps on his forehead, and wore his long hair
|
|
brushed back without a parting. He had a favourite phrase which
|
|
he kept on repeating triumphantly, "The minimum of risk with the
|
|
maximum of profit is my motto. What?" He made my head ache,
|
|
spoiled my tiffin, but got his own out of me all right; and as soon
|
|
as I had shaken him off, I made straight for the water-side. I caught
|
|
sight of Jim leaning over the parapet of the quay. Three native
|
|
boatmen quarrelling over five annas were making an awful row at
|
|
his elbow. He didn't hear me come up, but spun round as if the
|
|
slight contact of my finger had released a catch. "I was looking,"
|
|
he stammered. I don't remember what I said, not much anyhow,
|
|
but he made no difficulty in following me to the hotel.
|
|
|
|
'He followed me as manageable as a little child, with an obedient
|
|
air, with no sort of manifestation, rather as though he had been
|
|
waiting for me there to come along and carry him off. I need not
|
|
have been so surprised as I was at his tractability. On all the round
|
|
earth, which to some seems so big and that others affect to consider
|
|
as rather smaller than a mustard-seed, he had no place where he
|
|
could -- what shall I say? -- where he could withdraw. That's it!
|
|
Withdraw -- be alone with his loneliness. He walked by my side
|
|
very calm, glancing here and there, and once turned his head to
|
|
look after a Sidiboy fireman in a cutaway coat and yellowish
|
|
trousers, whose black face had silky gleams like a lump of anthracite
|
|
coal. I doubt, however, whether he saw anything, or even remained
|
|
all the time aware of my companionship, because if I had not edged
|
|
him to the left here, or pulled him to the right there, I believe he
|
|
would have gone straight before him in any direction till stopped
|
|
by a wall or some other obstacle. I steered him into my bedroom,
|
|
and sat down at once to write letters. This was the only place in the
|
|
world (unless, perhaps, the Walpole Reef -- but that was not so
|
|
handy) where he could have it out with himself without being both-
|
|
ered by the rest of the universe. The damned thing -- as he had
|
|
expressed it -- had not made him invisible, but I behaved exactly as
|
|
though he were. No sooner in my chair I bent over my writing-desk
|
|
like a medieval scribe, and, but for the movement of the hand
|
|
holding the pen, remained anxiously quiet. I can't say I was fright-
|
|
ened; but I certainly kept as still as if there had been something
|
|
dangerous in the room, that at the first hint of a movement on my
|
|
part would be provoked to pounce upon me. There was not much
|
|
in the room -- you know how these bedrooms are -- a sort of four-
|
|
poster bedstead under a mosquito-net, two or three chairs, the table
|
|
I was writing at, a bare floor. A glass door opened on an upstairs
|
|
verandah, and he stood with his face to it, having a hard time
|
|
with all possible privacy. Dusk fell; I lit a candle with the greatest
|
|
economy of movement and as much prudence as though it were an
|
|
illegal proceeding. There is no doubt that he had a very hard time
|
|
of it, and so had I, even to the point, I must own, of wishing him
|
|
to the devil, or on Walpole Reef at least. It occurred to me once or
|
|
twice that, after all, Chester was, perhaps, the man to deal effec-
|
|
tively with such a disaster. That strange idealist had found a practi-
|
|
cal use for it at once -- unerringly, as it were. It was enough to make
|
|
one suspect that, maybe, he really could see the true aspect of things
|
|
that appeared mysterious or utterly hopeless to less imaginative
|
|
persons. I wrote and wrote; I liquidated all the arrears of my corre-
|
|
spondence, and then went on writing to people who had no reason
|
|
whatever to expect from me a gossipy letter about nothing at all. At
|
|
times I stole a sidelong glance. He was rooted to the spot, but
|
|
convulsive shudders ran down his back; his shoulders would heave
|
|
suddenly. He was fighting, he was fighting -- mostly for his breath,
|
|
as it seemed. The massive shadows, cast all one way from the
|
|
straight flame of the candle, seemed possessed of gloomy conscious-
|
|
ness; the immobility of the furniture had to my furtive eye an air
|
|
of attention. I was becoming fanciful in the midst of my industrious
|
|
scribbling; and though, when the scratching of my pen stopped for
|
|
a moment, there was complete silence and stillness in the room, I
|
|
suffered from that profound disturbance and confusion of thought
|
|
which is caused by a violent and menacing uproar -- of a heavy gale
|
|
at sea, for instance. Some of you may know what I mean: that
|
|
mingled anxiety, distress, and irritation with a sort of craven feeling
|
|
creeping in -- not pleasant to acknowledge, but which gives a quite
|
|
special merit to one's endurance. I don't claim any merit for stand-
|
|
ing the stress of Jim's emotions; I could take refuge in the letters;
|
|
I could have written to strangers if necessary. Suddenly, as I was
|
|
taking up a fresh sheet of notepaper, I heard a low sound, the first
|
|
sound that, since we had been shut up together, had come to my
|
|
ears in the dim stillness of the room. I remained with my head
|
|
down, with my hand arrested. Those who have kept vigil by a
|
|
sick-bed have heard such faint sounds in the stillness of the night
|
|
watches, sounds wrung from a racked body, from a weary soul. He
|
|
pushed the glass door with such force that all the panes rang: he
|
|
stepped out, and I held my breath, straining my ears without know-
|
|
ing what else I expected to hear. He was really taking too much
|
|
to heart an empty formality which to Chester's rigorous criticism
|
|
seemed unworthy the notice of a man who could see things as they
|
|
were. An empty formality; a piece of parchment. Well, well. As to
|
|
an inaccessible guano deposit, that was another story altogether.
|
|
One could intelligibly break one's heart over that. A feeble burst of
|
|
many voices mingled with the tinkle of silver and glass floated up
|
|
from the dining-room below; through the open door the outer edge
|
|
of the light from my candle fell on his back faintly; beyond all was
|
|
black; he stood on the brink of a vast obscurity, like a lonely figure
|
|
by the shore of a sombre and hopeless ocean. There was the Walpole
|
|
Reef in it -- to be sure -- a speck in the dark void, a straw for the
|
|
drowning man. My compassion for him took the shape of the
|
|
thought that I wouldn't have liked his people to see him at that
|
|
moment. I found it trying myself. His back was no longer shaken
|
|
by his gasps; he stood straight as an arrow, faintly visible and still;
|
|
and the meaning of this stillness sank to the bottom of my soul like
|
|
lead into the water, and made it so heavy that for a second I wished
|
|
heartily that the only course left open for me was to pay for his
|
|
funeral. Even the law had done with him. To bury him would
|
|
have been such an easy kindness! It would have been so much in
|
|
accordance with the wisdom of life, which consists in putting out
|
|
of sight all the reminders of our folly, of our weakness, of our
|
|
mortality; all that makes against our efficiency -- the memory of our
|
|
failures, the hints of our undying fears, the bodies of our dead
|
|
friends. Perhaps he did take it too much to heart. And if so then --
|
|
Chester's offer.... At this point I took up a fresh sheet and began
|
|
to write resolutely. There was nothing but myself between him and
|
|
the dark ocean. I had a sense of responsibility. If I spoke, would
|
|
that motionless and suffering youth leap into the obscurity -- clutch
|
|
at the straw? I found out how difficult it may be sometimes to make
|
|
a sound. There is a weird power in a spoken word. And why the
|
|
devil not? I was asking myself persistently while I drove on with
|
|
my writing. All at once, on the blank page, under the very point of
|
|
the pen, the two figures of Chester and his antique partner, very
|
|
distinct and complete, would dodge into view with stride and ges-
|
|
tures, as if reproduced in the field of some optical toy. I would watch
|
|
them for a while. No! They were too phantasmal and extravagant to
|
|
enter into any one's fate. And a word carries far -- very far -- deals
|
|
destruction through time as the bullets go flying through space. I
|
|
said nothing; and he, out there with his back to the light, as if
|
|
bound and gagged by all the invisible foes of man, made no stir and
|
|
made no sound.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 16
|
|
|
|
'The time was coming when I should see him loved, trusted,
|
|
admired, with a legend of strength and prowess forming round his
|
|
name as though he had been the stuff of a hero. It's true -- I assure
|
|
you; as true as I'm sitting here talking about him in vain. He, on
|
|
his side, had that faculty of beholding at a hint the face of his desire
|
|
and the shape of his dream, without which the earth would know
|
|
no lover and no adventurer. He captured much honour and an
|
|
Arcadian happiness (I won't say anything about innocence) in the
|
|
bush, and it was as good to him as the honour and the Arcadian
|
|
happiness of the streets to another man. Felicity, felicity -- how shall
|
|
I say it? -- is quaffed out of a golden cup in every latitude: the flavour
|
|
is with you -- with you alone, and you can make it as intoxicating
|
|
as you please. He was of the sort that would drink deep, as you may
|
|
guess from what went before. I found him, if not exactly intoxi-
|
|
cated, then at least flushed with the elixir at his lips. He had not
|
|
obtained it at once. There had been, as you know, a period of
|
|
probation amongst infernal ship-chandlers, during which he had
|
|
suffered and I had worried about -- about -- my trust -- you may call
|
|
it. I don't know that I am completely reassured now, after beholding
|
|
him in all his brilliance. That was my last view of him -- in a strong
|
|
light, dominating, and yet in complete accord with his surround-
|
|
ings -- with the life of the forests and with the life of men. I own
|
|
that I was impressed, but I must admit to myself that after all this
|
|
is not the lasting impression. He was protected by his isolation,
|
|
alone of his own superior kind, in close touch with Nature, that
|
|
keeps faith on such easy terms with her lovers. But I cannot fix
|
|
before my eye the image of his safety. I shall always remember him
|
|
as seen through the open door of my room, taking, perhaps, too
|
|
much to heart the mere consequences of his failure. I am pleased,
|
|
of course, that some good -- and even some splendour -- came out
|
|
of my endeavours; but at times it seems to me it would have been
|
|
better for my peace of mind if I had not stood between him and
|
|
Chester's confoundedly generous offer. I wonder what his exuber-
|
|
ant imagination would have made of Walpole islet -- that most hope-
|
|
lessly forsaken crumb of dry land on the face of the waters. It is not
|
|
likely I would ever have heard, for I must tell you that Chester,
|
|
after calling at some Australian port to patch up his brig-rigged sea-
|
|
anachronism, steamed out into the Pacific with a crew of twenty-
|
|
two hands all told, and the only news having a possible bearing
|
|
upon the mystery of his fate was the news of a hurricane which is
|
|
supposed to have swept in its course over the Walpole shoals, a
|
|
month or so afterwards. Not a vestige of the Argonauts ever turned
|
|
up; not a sound came out of the waste. Finis! The Pacific is the
|
|
most discreet of live, hot-tempered oceans: the chilly Antarctic can
|
|
keep a secret too, but more in the manner of a grave.
|
|
|
|
'And there is a sense of blessed finality in such discretion, which
|
|
is what we all more or less sincerely are ready to admit -- for what
|
|
else is it that makes the idea of death supportable? End! Finis!
|
|
the potent word that exorcises from the house of life the haunting
|
|
shadow of fate. This is what -- notwithstanding the testimony of my
|
|
eyes and his own earnest assurances -- I miss when I look back upon
|
|
Jim's success. While there's life there is hope, truly; but there is
|
|
fear too. I don't mean to say that I regret my action, nor will I
|
|
pretend that I can't sleep o' nights in consequence; still, the idea
|
|
obtrudes itself that he made so much of his disgrace while it is the
|
|
guilt alone that matters. He was not -- if I may say so -- clear to me.
|
|
He was not clear. And there is a suspicion he was not clear to himself
|
|
either. There were his fine sensibilities, his fine feelings, his fine
|
|
longings -- a sort of sublimated, idealised selfishness. He was -- if
|
|
you allow me to say so -- very fine; very fine -- and very unfortunate.
|
|
A little coarser nature would not have borne the strain; it would
|
|
have had to come to terms with itself -- with a sigh, with a grunt,
|
|
or even with a guffaw; a still coarser one would have remained
|
|
invulnerably ignorant and completely uninteresting.
|
|
|
|
'But he was too interesting or too unfortunate to be thrown to
|
|
the dogs, or even to Chester. I felt this while I sat with my face over
|
|
the paper and he fought and gasped, struggling for his breath in
|
|
that terribly stealthy way, in my room; I felt it when he rushed out
|
|
on the verandah as if to fling himself over -- and didn't; I felt it more
|
|
and more all the time he remained outside, faintly lighted on the
|
|
background of night, as if standing on the shore of a sombre and
|
|
hopeless sea.
|
|
|
|
'An abrupt heavy rumble made me lift my head. The noise
|
|
seemed to roll away, and suddenly a searching and violent glare fell
|
|
on the blind face of the night. The sustained and dazzling flickers
|
|
seemed to last for an unconscionable time. The growl of the thunder
|
|
increased steadily while I looked at him, distinct and black, planted
|
|
solidly upon the shores of a sea of light. At the moment of greatest
|
|
brilliance the darkness leaped back with a culminating crash, and
|
|
he vanished before my dazzled eyes as utterly as though he had been
|
|
blown to atoms. A blustering sigh passed; furious hands seemed to
|
|
tear at the shrubs, shake the tops of the trees below, slam doors,
|
|
break window-panes, all along the front of the building. He stepped
|
|
in, closing the door behind him, and found me bending over the
|
|
table: my sudden anxiety as to what he would say was very great,
|
|
and akin to a fright. "May I have a cigarette?" he asked. I gave a
|
|
push to the box without raising my head. "I want -- want -- tobacco,"
|
|
he muttered. I became exuemely buoyant. "Just a moment." I
|
|
grunted pleasantly. He took a few steps here and there. "That's
|
|
over," I heard him say. A single distant clap of thunder came from
|
|
the sea like a gun of distress. "The monsoon breaks up early this
|
|
year," he remarked conversationally, somewhere behind me. This
|
|
encouraged me to turn round, which I did as soon as I had finished
|
|
addressing the last envelope. He was smoking greedily in the middle
|
|
of the room, and though he heard the stir I made, he remained with
|
|
his back to me for a time.
|
|
|
|
' "Come -- I carried it off pretty well," he said, wheeling sud-
|
|
denly. "Something's paid off -- not much. I wonder what's to
|
|
come." His face did not show any emotion, only it appeared a little
|
|
darkened and swollen, as though he had been holding his breath.
|
|
He smiled reluctantly as it were, and went on while I gazed up at
|
|
him mutely.... "Thank you, though -- your room -- jolly con-
|
|
venient -- for a chap -- badly hipped." . . . The rain pattered and
|
|
swished in the garden; a water-pipe (it must have had a hole in it)
|
|
performed just outside the window a parody of blubbering woe with
|
|
funny sobs and gurgling lamentations, interrupted by jerky spasms
|
|
of silence.... "A bit of shelter," he mumbled and ceased.
|
|
|
|
'A flash of faded lightning darted in through the black framework
|
|
of the windows and ebbed out without any noise. I was thinking
|
|
how I had best approach him (I did not want to be flung off again)
|
|
when he gave a little laugh. "No better than a vagabond now" . . .
|
|
the end of the cigarette smouldered between his fingers . . . "with-
|
|
out a single -- single," he pronounced slowly; "and yet . . ." He
|
|
paused; the rain fell with redoubled violence. "Some day one's
|
|
bound to come upon some sort of chance to get it all back again.
|
|
Must!" he whispered distinctly, glaring at my boots.
|
|
|
|
'I did not even know what it was he wished so much to regain,
|
|
what it was he had so terribly missed. It might have been so much
|
|
that it was impossible to say. A piece of ass's skin, according to
|
|
Chester.... He looked up at me inquisitively. "Perhaps. If life's
|
|
long enough," I muttered through my teeth with unreasonable ani-
|
|
mosity. "Don't reckon too much on it."
|
|
|
|
' "Jove! I feel as if nothing could ever touch me," he said in a
|
|
tone of sombre conviction. "If this business couldn't knock me
|
|
over, then there's no fear of there being not enough time to -- climb
|
|
out, and . . ." He looked upwards.
|
|
|
|
'It struck me that it is from such as he that the great army of
|
|
waifs and strays is recruited, the army that marches down, down
|
|
into all the gutters of the earth. As soon as he left my room, that
|
|
"bit of shelter," he would take his place in the ranks, and begin the
|
|
journey towards the bottomless pit. I at least had no illusions; but
|
|
it was I, too, who a moment ago had been so sure of the power of
|
|
words, and now was afraid to speak, in the same way one dares not
|
|
move for fear of losing a slippery hold. It is when we try to grapple
|
|
with another man's intimate need that we perceive how incompre-
|
|
hensible, wavering, and misty are the beings that share with us the
|
|
sight of the stars and the warmth of the sun. It is as if loneliness
|
|
were a hard and absolute condition of existence; the envelope of
|
|
flesh and blood on which our eyes are fixed melts before the out-
|
|
stretched hand, and there remains only the capricious, unconsol-
|
|
able, and elusive spirit that no eye can follow, no hand can grasp.
|
|
It was the fear of losing him that kept me silent, for it was borne
|
|
upon me suddenly and with unaccountable force that should I let
|
|
him slip away into the darkness I would never forgive myself.
|
|
|
|
' "Well. Thanks -- once more. You've been -- er -- uncommonly --
|
|
really there's no word to . . . Uncommonly! I don't know why, I
|
|
am sure. I am afraid I don't feel as grateful as I would if the whole
|
|
thing hadn't been so brutally sprung on me. Because at bottom . . .
|
|
you, yourself . . ." He stuttered.
|
|
|
|
' "Possibly," I struck in. He frowned.
|
|
|
|
' "All the same, one is responsible." He watched me like a hawk.
|
|
|
|
' "And that's true, too," I said.
|
|
|
|
' "Well. I've gone with it to the end, and I don't intend to let any
|
|
man cast it in my teeth without -- without -- resenting it." He
|
|
clenched his fist.
|
|
|
|
' "There's yourself," I said with a smile -- mirthless enough, God
|
|
knows -- but he looked at me menacingly. "That's my business,"
|
|
he said. An air of indomitable resolution came and went upon his
|
|
face like a vain and passing shadow. Next moment he looked a dear
|
|
good boy in trouble, as before. He flung away the cigarette. "Good-
|
|
bye," he said, with the sudden haste of a man who had lingered too
|
|
long in view of a pressing bit of work waiting for him; and then for
|
|
a second or so he made not the slightest movement. The downpour
|
|
fell with the heavy uninterrupted rush of a sweeping flood, with a
|
|
sound of unchecked overwhelming fury that called to one's mind
|
|
the images of collapsing bridges, of uprooted trees, of undermined
|
|
mountains. No man could breast the colossal and headlong stream
|
|
that seemed to break and swirl against the dim stillness in which
|
|
we were precariously sheltered as if on an island. The perforated
|
|
pipe gurgled, choked, spat, and splashed in odious ridicule of a
|
|
swimmer fighting for his life. "It is raining," I remonstrated, "and
|
|
I . . ." "Rain or shine," he began brusquely, checked himself, and
|
|
walked to the window. "Perfect deluge," he muttered after a while:
|
|
he leaned his forehead on the glass. "It's dark, too."
|
|
|
|
' "Yes, it is very dark," I said.
|
|
|
|
'He pivoted on his heels, crossed the room, and had actually
|
|
opened the door leading into the corridor before I leaped up from
|
|
my chair. "Wait," I cried, "I want you to . . ." "I can't dine with
|
|
you again to-night," he flung at me, with one leg out of the room
|
|
already. "I haven't the slightest intention of asking you," I shouted.
|
|
At this he drew back his foot, but remained mistrustfully in the
|
|
very doorway. I lost no time in entreating him earnestly not to be
|
|
absurd; to come in and shut the door.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 17
|
|
|
|
'He came in at last; but I believe it was mostly the rain that did
|
|
it; it was falling just then with a devastating violence which quieted
|
|
down gradually while we talked. His manner was very sober and
|
|
set; his bearing was that of a naturally taciturn man possessed by
|
|
an idea. My talk was of the material aspect of his position; it had
|
|
the sole aim of saving him from the degradation, ruin, and despair
|
|
that out there close so swiftly upon a friendless, homeless man; I
|
|
pleaded with him to accept my help; I argued reasonably: and every
|
|
time I looked up at that absorbed smooth face, so grave and youth-
|
|
ful, I had a disturbing sense of being no help but rather an obstacle
|
|
to some mysterious, inexplicable, impalpable striving of his
|
|
wounded spirit.
|
|
|
|
' "I suppose you intend to eat and drink and to sleep under
|
|
shelter in the usual way," I remember saying with irritation. "You
|
|
say you won't touch the money that is due to you." . . . He came
|
|
as near as his sort can to making a gesture of horror. (There were
|
|
three weeks and five days' pay owing him as mate of the Patna.)
|
|
"Well, that's too little to matter anyhow; but what will you do to-
|
|
morrow? Where will you turn? You must live . . ." "That isn't the
|
|
thing," was the comment that escaped him under his breath. I
|
|
ignored it, and went on combating what I assumed to be the scruples
|
|
of an exaggerated delicacy. "On every conceivable ground," I con-
|
|
cluded, "you must let me help you." "You can't," he said very
|
|
simply and gently, and holding fast to some deep idea which I could
|
|
detect shimmering like a pool of water in the dark, but which I
|
|
despaired of ever approaching near enough to fathom. I surveyed
|
|
his well-proportioned bulk. "At any rate," I said, "I am able to
|
|
help what I can see of you. I don't pretend to do more." He shook
|
|
his head sceptically without looking at me. I got very warm. "But
|
|
I can," I insisted. "I can do even more. I am doing more. I am
|
|
trusting you . . ." "The money . . ." he began. "Upon my word
|
|
you deserve being told to go to the devil," I cried, forcing the note
|
|
of indignation. He was startled, smiled, and I pressed my attack
|
|
home. "It isn't a question of money at all. You are too superficial,"
|
|
I said (and at the same time I was thinking to myself: Well, here
|
|
goes! And perhaps he is, after all). "Look at the letter I want you
|
|
to take. I am writing to a man of whom I've never asked a favour,
|
|
and I am writing about you in terms that one only ventures to use
|
|
when speaking of an intimate friend. I make myself unreservedly
|
|
responsible for you. That's what I am doing. And really if you will
|
|
only reflect a little what that means . . ."
|
|
|
|
'He lifted his head. The rain had passed away; only the water-
|
|
pipe went on shedding tears with an absurd drip, drip outside the
|
|
window. It was very quiet in the room, whose shadows huddled
|
|
together in corners, away from the still flame of the candle flaring
|
|
upright in the shape of a dagger; his face after a while seemed
|
|
suffused by a reflection of a soft light as if the dawn had broken
|
|
already.
|
|
|
|
' "Jove!" he gasped out. "It is noble of you!"
|
|
|
|
'Had he suddenly put out his tongue at me in derision, I could
|
|
not have felt more humiliated. I thought to myself -- Serve me right
|
|
for a sneaking humbug.... His eyes shone straight into my face,
|
|
but I perceived it was not a mocking brightness. All at once he
|
|
sprang into jerky agitation, like one of those flat wooden figures
|
|
that are worked by a string. His arms went up, then came down
|
|
with a slap. He became another man altogether. "And I had never
|
|
seen," he shouted; then suddenly bit his lip and frowned. "What a
|
|
bally ass I've been," he said very slow in an awed tone.... "You
|
|
are a brick! " he cried next in a muffled voice. He snatched my hand
|
|
as though he had just then seen it for the first time, and dropped it
|
|
at once. "Why! this is what I -- you -- I . . ." he stammered, and
|
|
then with a return of his old stolid, I may say mulish, manner he
|
|
began heavily, "I would be a brute now if I . . ." and then his voice
|
|
seemed to break. "That's all right," I said. I was almost alarmed
|
|
by this display of feeling, through which pierced a strange elation.
|
|
I had pulled the string accidentally, as it were; I did not fully under-
|
|
stand the working of the toy. "I must go now," he said. "Jove! You
|
|
have helped me. Can't sit still. The very thing . . ." He looked at
|
|
me with puzzled admiration. "The very thing . . ."
|
|
|
|
'Of course it was the thing. It was ten to one that I had saved him
|
|
from starvation -- of that peculiar sort that is almost invariably
|
|
associated with drink. This was all. I had not a single illusion on
|
|
that score, but looking at him, I allowed myself to wonder at the
|
|
nature of the one he had, within the last three minutes, so evidently
|
|
taken into his bosom. I had forced into his hand the means to carry
|
|
on decently the serious business of life, to get food, drink, and
|
|
shelter of the customary kind, while his wounded spirit, like a bird
|
|
with a broken wing, might hop and flutter into some hole, to die
|
|
quietly of inanition there. This is what I had thrust upon him: a
|
|
definitely small thing; and -- behold! -- by the manner of its reception
|
|
it loomed in the dim light of the candle like a big, indistinct, perhaps
|
|
a dangerous shadow. "You don't mind me not saying anything
|
|
appropriate," he burst out. "There isn't anything one could say.
|
|
Last night already you had done me no end of good. Listening to
|
|
me -- you know. I give you my word I've thought more than once
|
|
the top of my head would fly off. . ." He darted -- positively
|
|
darted -- here and there, rammed his hands into his pockets, jerked
|
|
them out again, flung his cap on his head. I had no idea it was in
|
|
him to be so airily brisk. I thought of a dry leaf imprisoned in an
|
|
eddy of wind, while a mysterious apprehension, a load of indefinite
|
|
doubt, weighed me down in my chair. He stood stock-still, as if
|
|
struck motionless by a discovery. "You have given me confidence,"
|
|
he declared soberly. "Oh! for God's sake, my dear fellow -- don't!"
|
|
I entreated, as though he had hurt me. "All right. I'll shut up
|
|
now and henceforth. Can't prevent me thinking though.... Never
|
|
mind! . . . I'll show yet . . ." He went to the door in a hurry,
|
|
paused with his head down, and came back, stepping deliberately.
|
|
"I always thought that if a fellow could begin with a clean slate . . .
|
|
And now you . . . in a measure . . . yes . . . clean slate." I waved
|
|
my hand, and he marched out without looking back; the sound
|
|
of his footfalls died out gradually behind the closed door -- the
|
|
unhesitating tread of a man walking in broad daylight.
|
|
|
|
'But as to me, left alone with the solitary candle, I remained
|
|
strangely unenlightened. I was no longer young enough to behold
|
|
at every turn the magnificence that besets our insignificant footsteps
|
|
in good and in evil. I smiled to think that, after all, it was yet he,
|
|
of us two, who had the light. And I felt sad. A clean slate, did he
|
|
say? As if the initial word of each our destiny were not graven in
|
|
imperishable characters upon the face of a rock.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 18
|
|
|
|
'Six months afterwards my friend (he was a cynical, more than
|
|
middle-aged bachelor, with a reputation for eccentricity, and owned
|
|
a rice-mill) wrote to me, and judging, from the warmth of my
|
|
recommendation, that I would like to hear, enlarged a little upon
|
|
Jim's perfections. These were apparently of a quiet and effective
|
|
sort. "Not having been able so far to find more in my heart than a
|
|
resigned toleration for any individual of my kind, I have lived till
|
|
now alone in a house that even in this steaming climate could be
|
|
considered as too big for one man. I have had him to live with me
|
|
for some time past. It seems I haven't made a mistake." It seemed
|
|
to me on reading this letter that my friend had found in his heart
|
|
more than tolerance for Jim -- that there were the beginnings of
|
|
active liking. Of course he stated his grounds in a characteristic
|
|
way. For one thing, Jim kept his freshness in the climate. Had he
|
|
been a girl -- my friend wrote -- one could have said he was bloom-
|
|
ing -- blooming modestly -- like a violet, not like some of these
|
|
blatant tropical flowers. He had been in the house for six weeks,
|
|
and had not as yet attempted to slap him on the back, or address
|
|
him as "old boy," or try to make him feel a superannuated fossil.
|
|
He had nothing of the exasperating young man's chatter. He was
|
|
good-tempered, had not much to say for himself, was not clever by
|
|
any means, thank goodness -- wrote my friend. It appeared, how-
|
|
ever, that Jim was clever enough to be quietly appreciative of his
|
|
wit, while, on the other hand, he amused him by his naiveness.
|
|
"The dew is yet on him, and since I had the bright idea of giving
|
|
him a room in the house and having him at meals I feel less withered
|
|
myself. The other day he took it into his head to cross the room
|
|
with no other purpose but to open a door for me; and I felt more in
|
|
touch with mankind than I had been for years. Ridiculous, isn't it?
|
|
Of course I guess there is something -- some awful little scrape --
|
|
which you know all about -- but if I am sure that it is terribly
|
|
heinous, I fancy one could manage to forgive it. For my part, I
|
|
declare I am unable to imagine him guilty of anything much worse
|
|
than robbing an orchard. Is it much worse? Perhaps you ought to
|
|
have told me; but it is such a long time since we both turned saints
|
|
that you may have forgotten we too had sinned in our time? It may
|
|
be that some day I shall have to ask you, and then I shall expect to
|
|
be told. I don't care to question him myself till I have some idea
|
|
what it is. Moreover, it's too soon as yet. Let him open the door a-
|
|
few times more for me...." Thus my friend. I was trebly pleased --
|
|
at Jim's shaping so well, at the tone of the letter, at my own clever-
|
|
ness. Evidently I had known what I was doing. I had read characters
|
|
aright, and so on. And what if something unexpected and wonderful
|
|
were to come of it? That evening, reposing in a deck-chair under
|
|
the shade of my own poop awning (it was in Hong-Kong harbour),
|
|
I laid on Jim's behalf the first stone of a castle in Spain.
|
|
|
|
'I made a trip to the northward, and when I returned I found
|
|
another letter from my friend waiting for me. It was the first envel-
|
|
ope I tore open. "There are no spoons missing, as far as I know,"
|
|
ran the first line; "I haven't been interested enough to inquire. He
|
|
is gone, leaving on the breakfast-table a formal little note of apology,
|
|
which is either silly or heartless. Probably both -- and it's all one to
|
|
me. Allow me to say, lest you should have some more mysterious
|
|
young men in reserve, that I have shut up shop, definitely and for
|
|
ever. This is the last eccentricity I shall be guilty of. Do not imagine
|
|
for a moment that I care a hang; but he is very much regretted at
|
|
tennis-parties, and for my own sake I've told a plausible lie at the
|
|
club...." I flung the letter aside and started looking through the
|
|
batch on my table, till I came upon Jim's handwriting. Would you
|
|
believe it? One chance in a hundred! But it is always that hundredth
|
|
chance! That little second engineer of the Patna had turned up in
|
|
a more or less destitute state, and got a temporary job of looking
|
|
after the machinery of the mill. "I couldn't stand the familiarity of
|
|
the little beast," Jim wrote from a seaport seven hundred miles
|
|
south of the place where he should have been in clover. "I am now
|
|
for the time with Egstrom & Blake, ship-chandlers, as their -- well --
|
|
runner, to call the thing by its right name. For reference I gave
|
|
them your name, which they know of course, and if you could write
|
|
a word in my favour it would be a permanent employment." I was
|
|
utterly crushed under the ruins of my castle, but of course I wrote
|
|
as desired. Before the end of the year my new charter took me that
|
|
way, and I had an opportunity of seeing him.
|
|
|
|
'He was still with Egstrom & Blake, and we met in what they
|
|
called "our parlour" opening out of the store. He had that moment
|
|
come in from boarding a ship, and confronted me head down, ready
|
|
for a tussle. "What have you got to say for yourself?" I began as
|
|
soon as we had shaken hands. "What I wrote you -- nothing more,"
|
|
he said stubbornly. "Did the fellow blab -- or what?" I asked. He
|
|
looked up at me with a troubled smile. "Ohno! He didn't. He made
|
|
it a kind of confidential business between us. He was most damnably
|
|
mysterious whenever I came over to the mill; he would wink at me
|
|
in a respectful manner -- as much as to say 'We know what we
|
|
know.' Infernally fawning and familiar - -and that sort of thing . . ."
|
|
He threw himself into a chair and stared down his legs. "One day
|
|
we happened to be alone and the fellow had the cheek to say, 'Well,
|
|
Mr. James' -- I was called Mr. James there as if I had been the son --
|
|
'here we are together once more. This is better than the old ship --
|
|
ain't it?' . . . Wasn't it appalling, eh? I looked at him, and he put
|
|
on a knowing air. 'Don't you be uneasy, sir,' he says. 'I know a
|
|
gentleman when I see one, and I know how a gentleman feels. I
|
|
hope, though, you will be keeping me on this job. I had a hard time
|
|
of it too, along of that rotten old Patna racket.' Jove! It was awful.
|
|
I don't know what I should have said or done if I had not just then
|
|
heard Mr. Denver calling me in the passage. It was tiffin-time, and
|
|
we walked together across the yard and through the garden to the
|
|
bungalow. He began to chaff me in his kindly way . . . I believe he
|
|
liked me . . ."
|
|
|
|
'Jim was silent for a while.
|
|
|
|
' "I know he liked me. That's what made it so hard. Such a
|
|
splendid man! . . . That morning he slipped his hand under my
|
|
arm.... He, too, was familiar with me." He burst into a short
|
|
laugh, and dropped his chin on his breast. "Pah! When I remem-
|
|
bered how that mean little beast had been talking to me," he began
|
|
suddenly in a vibrating voice, "I couldn't bear to think of
|
|
myself ... I suppose you know ..." I nodded.... "More like a
|
|
father," he cried; his voice sank. "I would have had to tell him. I
|
|
couldn't let it go on -- could I?" "Well?" I murmured, after waiting
|
|
a while. "I preferred to go," he said slowly; "this thing must be
|
|
buried."
|
|
|
|
'We could hear in the shop Blake upbraiding Egstrom in an
|
|
abusive, strained voice. They had been associated for many years,
|
|
and every day from the moment the doors were opened to the last
|
|
minute before closing, Blake, a little man with sleek, jetty hair and
|
|
unhappy, beady eyes, could be heard rowing his partner incessantly
|
|
with a sort of scathing and plaintive fury. The sound of that everlast-
|
|
ing scolding was part of the place like the other fixtures; even stran-
|
|
gers would very soon come to disregard it completely unless it be
|
|
perhaps to mutter "Nuisance," or to get up suddenly and shut
|
|
the door of the "parlour." Egstrom himself, a raw-boned, heavy
|
|
Scandinavian, with a busy manner and immense blonde whiskers,
|
|
went on directing his people, checking parcels, making out bills or
|
|
writing letters at a stand-up desk in the shop, and comported him-
|
|
self in that clatter exactly as though he had been stone-deaf. Now
|
|
and again he would emit a bothered perfunctory "Sssh," which
|
|
neither produced nor was expected to produce the slightest effect.
|
|
"They are very decent to me here," said Jim. "Blake's a little cad,
|
|
but Egstrom's all right." He stood up quickly, and walking with
|
|
measured steps to a tripod telescope standing in the window and
|
|
pointed at the roadstead, he applied his eye to it. "There's that ship
|
|
which has been becalmed outside all the morning has got a breeze
|
|
now and is coming in," he remarked patiently; "I must go and
|
|
board." We shook hands in silence, and he turned to go. "Jim!" I
|
|
cried. He looked round with his hand on the lock. "You -- you have
|
|
thrown away something like a fortune." He came back to me all the
|
|
way from the door. "Such a splendid old chap," he said. "How
|
|
could I? How could I?" His lips twitched. "Here it does not matter."
|
|
"Oh! you -- you --" I began, and had to cast about for a suitable
|
|
word, but before I became aware that there was no name that would
|
|
just do, he was gone. I heard outside Egstrom's deep gentle voice
|
|
saying cheerily, "That's the Sarah W. Granger, Jimmy. You must
|
|
manage to be first aboard"; and directly Blake struck in, screaming
|
|
after the manner of an outraged cockatoo, "Tell the captain we've
|
|
got some of his mail here. That'll fetch him. D'ye hear, Mister
|
|
What's-your-name?" And there was Jim answering Egstrom with
|
|
something boyish in his tone. "All right. I'll make a race of it." He
|
|
seemed to take refuge in the boat-sailing part of that sorry business.
|
|
|
|
'I did not see him again that trip, but on my next (I had a six
|
|
months' charter) I went up to the store. Ten yards away from the
|
|
door Blake's scolding met my ears, and when I came in he gave
|
|
me a glance of utter wretchedness; Egstrom, all smiles, advanced,
|
|
extending a large bony hand. "Glad to see you, captain....
|
|
Sssh.... Been thinking you were about due back here. What did
|
|
you say, sir? ... Sssh.... Oh! him! He has left us. Come into the
|
|
parlour." . . . After the slam of the door Blake's strained voice
|
|
became faint, as the voice of one scolding desperately in a wilder-
|
|
ness.... "Put us to a great inconvenience, too. Used us badly -- I
|
|
must say . . ." "Where's he gone to? Do you know?" I asked. "No.
|
|
It's no use asking either," said Egstrom, standing bewhiskered and
|
|
obliging before me with his arms hanging down his sides clumsily,
|
|
and a thin silver watch-chain looped very low on a rucked-up blue
|
|
serge waistcoat. "A man like that don't go anywhere in particular."
|
|
I was too concerned at the news to ask for the explanation of that
|
|
pronouncement, and he went on. "He left -- let's see -- the very day
|
|
a steamer with returning pilgrims from the Red Sea put in here with
|
|
two blades of her propeller gone. Three weeks ago now." "Wasn't
|
|
there something said about the Patna case?" I asked, fearing the
|
|
worst. He gave a start, and looked at me as if I had been a sorcerer.
|
|
"Why, yes! How do you know? Some of them were talking about
|
|
it here. There was a captain or two, the manager of Vanlo's engin-
|
|
eering shop at the harbour, two or three others, and myself. Jim
|
|
was in here too, having a sandwich and a glass of beer; when we are
|
|
busy -- you see, captain -- there's no time for a proper tiffin. He was
|
|
standing by this table eating sandwiches, and the rest of us were
|
|
round the telescope watching that steamer come in; and by-and-by
|
|
Vanlo's manager began to talk about the chief of the Patna; he had
|
|
done some repairs for him once, and from that he went on to tell
|
|
us what an old ruin she was, and the money that had been made
|
|
out of her. He came to mention her last voyage, and then we all
|
|
struck in. Some said one thing and some another -- not'much -- what
|
|
you or any other man might say; and there was some laughing.
|
|
Captain O'Brien of the Sarah W. Granger, a large, noisy old man
|
|
with a stick -- he was sitting listening to us in this arm-chair here --
|
|
he let drive suddenly with his stick at the floor, and roars out,
|
|
'Skunks!' . . . Made us all jump. Vanlo's manager winks at us and
|
|
asks, 'What's the matter, Captain O'Brien?' 'Matter! matter!' the
|
|
old man began to shout; 'what are you Injuns laughing at? It's no
|
|
laughing matter. It's a disgrace to human natur' -- that's what it is.
|
|
I would despise being seen in the same room with one of those men.
|
|
Yes, sir!' He seemed to catch my eye like, and I had to speak out
|
|
of civility. 'Skunks!' says I, 'of course, Captain O'Brien, and I
|
|
wouldn't care to have them here myself, so you're quite safe in this
|
|
room, Captain O'Brien. Have a little something cool to drink.'
|
|
'Dam' your drink, Egstrom,' says he, with a twinkle in his eye;
|
|
'when I want a drink I will shout for it. I am going to quit. It stinks
|
|
here now.' At this all the others burst out laughing, and out they
|
|
go after the old man. And then, sir, that blasted Jim he puts down
|
|
the sandwich he had in his hand and walks round the table to me;
|
|
there was his glass of beer poured out quite full. 'I am off,' he says -
|
|
just like this. 'It isn't half-past one yet,' says I; 'you might snatch
|
|
a smoke first.' I thought he meant it was time for him to go down
|
|
to his work. When I understood what he was up to, my arms fell --
|
|
so! Can't get a man like that every day, you know, sir; a regular
|
|
devil for sailing a boat; ready to go out miles to sea to meet ships in
|
|
any sort of weather. More than once a captain would come in here
|
|
full of it, and the first thing he would say would be, 'That's a
|
|
reckless sort of a lunatic you've got for water-clerk, Egstrom. I was
|
|
feeling my way in at daylight under short canvas when there comes
|
|
flying out of the mist right under my forefoot a boat half under
|
|
water, sprays going over the mast-head, two frightened niggers on
|
|
the bottom boards, a yelling fiend at the tiller. Hey! hey! Ship ahoy!
|
|
ahoy! Captain! Hey! hey! Egstrom & Blake's man first to speak to
|
|
you! Hey! hey! Egstrom & Blake! Hallo! hey! whoop! Kick the
|
|
niggers -- out reefs -- a squall on at the time -- shoots ahead whooping
|
|
and yelling to me to make sail and he would give me a lead in --
|
|
more like a demon than a man. Never saw a boat handled like that
|
|
in all my life. Couldn't have been drunk -- was he? Such a quiet, soft-
|
|
spoken chap too -- blush like a girl when he came on board.... ' I
|
|
tell you, Captain Marlow, nobody had a chance against us with a
|
|
strange ship when Jim was out. The other ship-chandlers just kept
|
|
their old customers, and . . ."
|
|
|
|
'Egstrom appeared overcome with emotion.
|
|
|
|
' "Why, sir -- it seemed as though he wouldn't mind going a
|
|
hundred miles out to sea in an old shoe to nab a ship for the firm.
|
|
If the business had been his own and all to make yet, he couldn't
|
|
have done more in that way. And now . . . all at once . . . like this!
|
|
Thinks I to myself: 'Oho! a rise in the screw -- that's the trouble --
|
|
is it?' 'All right,' says I, 'no need of all that fuss with me, Jimmy.
|
|
Just mention your figure. Anything in reason.' He looks at me as if
|
|
he wanted to swallow something that stuck in his throat. 'I can't
|
|
stop with you.' 'What's that blooming joke?' I asks. He shakes his
|
|
head, and I could see in his eye he was as good as gone already, sir.
|
|
So I turned to him and slanged him till all was blue. 'What is it
|
|
you're running away from?' I asks. 'Who has been getting at you?
|
|
What scared you? You haven't as much sense as a rat; they don't
|
|
clear out from a good ship. Where do you expect to get a better
|
|
berth? -- you this and you that.' I made him look sick, I can tell
|
|
you. 'This business ain't going to sink,' says I. He gave a big jump.
|
|
'Good-bye,' he says, nodding at me like a lord; 'you ain't half a bad
|
|
chap, Egstrom. I give you my word that if you knew my reasons
|
|
you wouldn't care to keep me.' 'That's the biggest lie you ever told
|
|
in your life,' says I; 'I know my own mind.' He made me so mad
|
|
that I had to laugh. 'Can't you really stop long enough to drink this
|
|
glass of beer here, you funny beggar, you?' I don't know what came
|
|
over him; he didn't seem able to find the door; something comical,
|
|
I can tell you, captain. I drank the beer myself. 'Well, if you're in
|
|
such a hurry, here's luck to you in your own drink,' says I; 'only,
|
|
you mark my words, if you keep up this game you'll very soon find
|
|
that the earth ain't big enough to hold you -- that's all.' He gave me
|
|
one black look, and out he rushed with a face fit to scare little
|
|
children."
|
|
|
|
'Egstrom snorted bitterly, and combed one auburn whisker with
|
|
knotty fingers. "Haven't been able to get a man that was any good
|
|
since. It's nothing but worry, worry, worry in business. And where
|
|
might you have come across him, captain, if it's fair to ask?"
|
|
|
|
' "He was the mate of the Patna that voyage," I said, feeling that
|
|
I owed some explanation. For a time Egstrom remained very still,
|
|
with his fingers plunged in the hair at the side of his face, and then
|
|
exploded. "And who the devil cares about that?" "I dare say no
|
|
one," I began . . . "And what the devil is he -- anyhow -- for to go
|
|
on like this?" He stuffed suddenly his left whisker into his mouth
|
|
and stood amazed. "Jee!" he exclaimed, "I told him the earth
|
|
wouldn't be big enough to hold his caper." '
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 19
|
|
|
|
'I have told you these two episodes at length to show his manner
|
|
of dealing with himself under the new conditions of his life. There
|
|
were many others of the sort, more than I could count on the fingers
|
|
of my two hands. They were all equally tinged by a high-minded
|
|
absurdity of intention which made their futility profound and
|
|
touching. To fling away your daily bread so as to get your hands
|
|
free for a grapple with a ghost may be an act of prosaic heroism.
|
|
Men had done it before (though we who have lived know full well
|
|
that it is not the haunted soul but the hungry body that makes an
|
|
outcast), and men who had eaten and meant to eat every day had
|
|
applauded the creditable folly. He was indeed unfortunate, for all
|
|
his recklessness could not carry him out from under the shadow.
|
|
There was always a doubt of his courage. The truth seems to be
|
|
that it is impossible to lay the ghost of a fact. You can face it or
|
|
shirk it -- and I have come across a man or two who could wink at
|
|
their familiar shades. Obviously Jim was not of the winking sort;
|
|
but what I could never make up my mind about was whether his
|
|
line of conduct amounted to shirking his ghost or to facing him out.
|
|
|
|
'I strained my mental eyesight only to discover that, as with the
|
|
complexion of all our actions, the shade of difference was so delicate
|
|
that it was impossible to say. It might have been flight and it might
|
|
have been a mode of combat. To the common mind he became
|
|
known as a rolling stone, because this was the funniest part: he did
|
|
after a time become perfectly known, and even notorious, within
|
|
the circle of his wanderings (which had a diameter of, say, three
|
|
thousand miles), in the same way as an eccentric character is known
|
|
to a whole countryside. For instance, in Bankok, where he found
|
|
employment with Yucker Brothers, charterers and teak mer-
|
|
chants, it was almost pathetic to see him go about in sunshine
|
|
hugging his secret, which was known to the very up-country logs on
|
|
the river. Schomberg, the keeper of the hotel where he boarded, a
|
|
hirsute Alsatian of manly bearing and an irrepressible retailer of all
|
|
the scandalous gossip of the place, would, with both elbows on the
|
|
table, impart an adorned version of the story to any guest who cared
|
|
to imbibe knowledge along with the more costly liquors. "And,
|
|
mind you, the nicest fellow you could meet," would be his generous
|
|
conclusion; "quite superior." It says a lot for the casual crowd that
|
|
frequented Schomberg's establishment that Jim managed to hang
|
|
out in Bankok for a whole six months. I remarked that people,
|
|
perfect strangers, took to him as one takes to a nice child. His
|
|
manner was reserved, but it was as though his personal appearance,
|
|
his hair, his eyes, his smile, made friends for him wherever he went.
|
|
And, of course, he was no fool. I heard Siegmund Yucker (native
|
|
of Switzerland), a gentle creature ravaged by a cruel dyspepsia, and
|
|
so frightfully lame that his head swung through a quarter of a circle
|
|
at every step he took, declare appreciatively that for one so young
|
|
he was "of great gabasidy," as though it had been a mere question
|
|
of cubic contents. "Why not send him up country?" I suggested
|
|
anxiously. (Yucker Brothers had concessions and teak forests in the
|
|
interior.) "If he has capacity, as you say, he will soon get hold of the
|
|
work. And physically he is very fit. His health is always excellent."
|
|
"Ach! It's a great ting in dis goundry to be vree vrom tispep-shia,"
|
|
sighed poor Yucker enviously, casting a stealthy glance at the pit
|
|
of his ruined stomach. I left him drumming pensively on his desk
|
|
and muttering, "Es ist ein' Idee. Es ist ein' Idee." Unfortunately,
|
|
that very evening an unpleasant affair took place in the hotel.
|
|
|
|
'I don't know that I blame Jim very much, but it was a truly
|
|
regrettable incident. It belonged to the lamentable species of bar-
|
|
room scuffles, and the other party to it was a cross-eyed Dane of
|
|
sorts whose visiting-card recited, under his misbegotten name: first
|
|
lieutenant in the Royal Siamese Navy. The fellow, of course, was
|
|
utterly hopeless at billiards, but did not like to be beaten, I suppose.
|
|
He had had enough to drink to turn nasty after the sixth game, and
|
|
make some scornful remark at Jim's expense. Most of the people
|
|
there didn't hear what was said, and those who had heard seemed to
|
|
have had all precise recollection scared out of them by the appalling
|
|
nature of the consequences that immediately ensued. It was very
|
|
lucky for the Dane that he could swim, because the room opened
|
|
on a verandah and the Menam flowed below very wide and black.
|
|
A boat-load of Chinamen, bound, as likely as not, on some thieving
|
|
expedition, fished out the officer of the King of Siam, and Jim
|
|
turned up at about midnight on board my ship without a hat.
|
|
"Everybody in the room seemed to know," he said, gasping yet
|
|
from the contest, as it were. He was rather sorry, on general prin-
|
|
ciples, for what had happened, though in this case there had been,
|
|
he said, "no option." But what dismayed him was to find the nature
|
|
of his burden as well known to everybody as though he had gone
|
|
about all that time carrying it on his shoulders. Naturally after this
|
|
he couldn't remain in the place. He was universally condemned for
|
|
the brutal violence, so unbecoming a man in his delicate position;
|
|
some maintained he had been disgracefully drunk at the time;
|
|
others criticised his want of tact. Even Schomberg was very much
|
|
annoyed. "He is a very nice young man," he said argumentatively
|
|
to me, "but the lieutenant is a first-rate fellow too. He dines every
|
|
night at my table d'hote, you know. And there's a billiard-cue
|
|
broken. I can't allow that. First thing this morning I went over with
|
|
my apologies to the lieutenant, and I think I've made it all right for
|
|
myself; but only think, captain, if everybody started such games!
|
|
Why, the man might have been drowned! And here I can't run out
|
|
into the next street and buy a new cue. I've got to write to Europe
|
|
for them. No, no! A temper like that won't do!" . . . He was
|
|
extremely sore on the subject.
|
|
|
|
'This was the worst incident of all in his -- his retreat. Nobody
|
|
could deplore it more than myself; for if, as somebody said hearing
|
|
him mentioned, "Oh yes! I know. He has knocked about a good
|
|
deal out here," yet he had somehow avoided being battered and
|
|
chipped in the process. This last affair, however, made me seriously
|
|
uneasy, because if his exquisite sensibilities were to go the length
|
|
of involving him in pot-house shindies, he would lose his name of
|
|
an inoffensive, if aggravating, fool, and acquire that of a common
|
|
loafer. For all my confidence in him I could not help reflecting that
|
|
in such cases from the name to the thing itself is but a step. I suppose
|
|
you will understand that by that time I could not think of washing
|
|
my hands of him. I took him away from Bankok in my ship, and
|
|
we had a longish passage. It was pitiful to see how he shrank within
|
|
himself. A seaman, even if a mere passenger, takes an interest in a
|
|
ship, and looks at the sea-life around him with the critical enjoyment
|
|
of a painter, for instance, looking at another man's work. In every
|
|
sense of the expression he is "on deck"; but my Jim, for the most
|
|
part, skulked down below as though he had been a stowaway. He
|
|
infected me so that I avoided speaking on professional matters,
|
|
such as would suggest themselves naturally to two sailors during a
|
|
passage. For whole days we did not exchange a word; I felt
|
|
extremely unwilling to give orders to my officers in his presence.
|
|
Often, when alone with him on deck or in the cabin, we didn't
|
|
know what to do with our eyes.
|
|
|
|
'I placed him with De Jongh, as you know, glad enough to dispose
|
|
of him in any way, yet persuaded that his position was now growing
|
|
intolerable. He had lost some of that elasticity which had enabled
|
|
him to rebound back into his uncompromising position after every
|
|
overthrow. One day, coming ashore, I saw him standing on the
|
|
quay; the water of the roadstead and the sea in the offing made one
|
|
smooth ascending plane, and the outermost ships at anchor seemed
|
|
to ride motionless in the sky. He was waiting for his boat, which
|
|
was being loaded at our feet with packages of small stores for some
|
|
vessel ready to leave. After exchanging greetings, we remained sil-
|
|
ent -- side by side. "Jove!" he said suddenly, "this is killing work."
|
|
|
|
'He smiled at me; I must say he generally could manage a smile.
|
|
I made no reply. I knew very well he was not alluding to his duties;
|
|
he had an easy time of it with De Jongh. Nevertheless, as soon as
|
|
he had spoken I became completely convinced that the work was
|
|
killing. I did not even look at him. "Would you like," said I, "to
|
|
leave this part of the world altogether; try California or the West
|
|
Coast? I'll see what I can do . . ." He interrupted me a little scorn-
|
|
fully. "What difference would it make?" . . . I felt at once con-
|
|
vinced that he was right. It would make no difference; it was not
|
|
relief he wanted; I seemed to perceive dimly that what he wanted,
|
|
what he was, as it were, waiting for, was something not easy to
|
|
define -- something in the nature of an opportunity. I had given him
|
|
many opportunities, but they had been merely opportunities to earn
|
|
his bread. Yet what more could any man do? The position struck
|
|
me as hopeless, and poor Brierly's saying recurred to me, "Let
|
|
him creep twenty feet underground and stay there." Better that, I
|
|
thought, than this waiting above ground for the impossible. Yet
|
|
one could not be sure even of that. There and then, before his boat
|
|
was three oars' lengths away from the quay, I had made up my
|
|
mind to go and consult Stein in the evening.
|
|
|
|
'This Stein was a wealthy and respected merchant. His "house"
|
|
(because it was a house, Stein & Co., and there was some sort of
|
|
partner who, as Stein said, "looked after the Moluccas") had a large
|
|
inter-island business, with a lot of trading posts established in the
|
|
most out-of-the-way places for collecting the produce. His wealth
|
|
and his respectability were not exactly the reasons why I was anxious
|
|
to seek his advice. I desired to confide my difficulty to him because
|
|
he was one of the most trustworthy men I had ever known. The
|
|
gentle light of a simple, unwearied, as it were, and intelligent good-
|
|
nature illumined his long hairless face. It had deep downward folds,
|
|
and was pale as of a man who had always led a sedentary life -- which
|
|
was indeed very far from being the case. His hair was thin, and
|
|
brushed back from a massive and lofty forehead. One fancied that
|
|
at twenty he must have looked very much like what he was now at
|
|
threescore. It was a student's face; only the eyebrows nearly all
|
|
white, thick and bushy, together with the resolute searching glance
|
|
that came from under them, were not in accord with his, I may say,
|
|
learned appearance. He was tall and loose-jointed; his slight stoop,
|
|
together with an innocent smile, made him appear benevolently
|
|
ready to lend you his ear; his long arms with pale big hands had
|
|
rare deliberate gestures of a pointing out, demonstrating kind. I
|
|
speak of him at length, because under this exterior, and in conjunc-
|
|
tion with an upright and indulgent nature, this man possessed an
|
|
intrepidity of spirit and a physical courage that could have been
|
|
called reckless had it not been like a natural function of the body --
|
|
say good digestion, for instance -- completely unconscious of itself.
|
|
It is sometimes said of a man that he carries his life in his hand.
|
|
Such a saying would have been inadequate if applied to him; during
|
|
the early part of his existence in the East he had been playing ball
|
|
with it. All this was in the past, but I knew the story of his life and
|
|
the origin of his fortune. He was also a naturalist of some distinc-
|
|
tion, or perhaps I should say a learned collector. Entomology was
|
|
his special study. His collection of Buprestidae and Longicorns --
|
|
beetles all -- horrible miniature monsters, looking malevolent in
|
|
death and immobility, and his cabinet of butterflies, beautiful and
|
|
hovering under the glass of cases on lifeless wings, had spread his
|
|
fame far over the earth. The name of this merchant, adventurer,
|
|
sometime adviser of a Malay sultan (to whom he never alluded
|
|
otherwise than as "my poor Mohammed Bonso"), had, on account
|
|
of a few bushels of dead insects, become known to learned persons
|
|
in Europe, who could have had no conception, and certainly would
|
|
not have cared to know anything, of his life or character. I, who
|
|
knew, considered him an eminently suitable person to receive my
|
|
confidences about Jim's difficulties as well as my own.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 20
|
|
|
|
'Late in the evening I entered his study, after traversing an
|
|
imposing but empty dining-room very dimly lit. The house was
|
|
silent. I was preceded by an elderly grim Javanese servant in a sort
|
|
of livery of white jacket and yellow sarong, who, after throwing
|
|
the door open, exclaimed low, "O master!" and stepping aside,
|
|
vanished in a mysterious way as though he had been a ghost only
|
|
momentarily embodied for that particular service. Stein turned
|
|
round with the chair, and in the same movement his spectacles
|
|
seemed to get pushed up on his forehead. He welcomed me in his
|
|
quiet and humorous voice. Only one corner of the vast room, the
|
|
corner in which stood his writing-desk, was strongly lighted by a
|
|
shaded reading-lamp, and the rest of the spacious apartment melted
|
|
into shapeless gloom like a cavern. Narrow shelves filled with dark
|
|
boxes of uniform shape and colour ran round the walls, not from
|
|
floor to ceiling, but in a sombre belt about four feet broad -- cata-
|
|
combs of beetles. Wooden tablets were hung above at irregular
|
|
intervals. The light reached one of them, and the word Coleoptera
|
|
written in gold letters glittered mysteriously upon a vast dimness.
|
|
The glass cases containing the collection of butterflies were ranged
|
|
in three long rows upon slender-legged little tables. One of these
|
|
cases had been removed from its place and stood on the desk, which
|
|
was bestrewn with oblong slips of paper blackened with minute
|
|
handwriting.
|
|
|
|
' "So you see me -- so," he said. His hand hovered over the case
|
|
where a butterfly in solitary grandeur spread out dark bronze wings,
|
|
seven inches or more across, with exquisite white veinings and a
|
|
gorgeous border of yellow spots. "Only one specimen like this they
|
|
have in your London, and then -- no more. To my small native town
|
|
this my collection I shall bequeath. Something of me. The best."
|
|
|
|
'He bent forward in the chair and gazed intently, his chin over
|
|
the front of the case. I stood at his back. "Marvellous," he whis-
|
|
pered, and seemed to forget my presence. His history was curious.
|
|
He had been born in Bavaria, and when a youth of twenty-two had
|
|
taken an active part in the revolutionary movement of 1848. Heavily
|
|
compromised, he managed to make his escape, and at first found a
|
|
refuge with a poor republican watchmaker in Trieste. From there
|
|
he made his way to Tripoli with a stock of cheap watches to hawk
|
|
about, -- not a very great opening truly, but it turned out lucky
|
|
enough, because it was there he came upon a Dutch traveller -- a
|
|
rather famous man, I believe, but I don't remember his name. It
|
|
was that naturalist who, engaging him as a sort of assistant, took
|
|
him to the East. They travelled in the Archipelago together and
|
|
separately, collecting insects and birds, for four years or more.
|
|
Then the naturalist went home, and Stein, having no home to go
|
|
to, remained with an old trader he had come across in his journeys
|
|
in the interior of Celebes -- if Celebes may be said to have an interior.
|
|
This old Scotsman, the only white man allowed to reside in the
|
|
country at the time, was a privileged friend of the chief ruler of
|
|
Wajo States, who was a woman. I often heard Stein relate how that
|
|
chap, who was slightly paralysed on one side, had introduced him
|
|
to the native court a short time before another stroke carried him
|
|
off. He was a heavy man with a patriarchal white beard, and of
|
|
imposing stature. He came into the council-hall where all the rajahs,
|
|
pangerans, and headmen were assembled, with the queen, a fat
|
|
wrinkled woman (very free in her speech, Stein said), reclining on
|
|
a high couch under a canopy. He dragged his leg, thumping with
|
|
his stick, and grasped Stein's arm, leading him right up to the
|
|
couch. "Look, queen, and you rajahs, this is my son," he pro-
|
|
claimed in a stentorian voice. "I have traded with your fathers, and
|
|
when I die he shall trade with you and your sons."
|
|
|
|
'By means of this simple formality Stein inherited the Scotsman's
|
|
privileged position and all his stock-in-trade, together with a forti-
|
|
fied house on the banks of the only navigable river in the country.
|
|
Shortly afterwards the old queen, who was so free in her speech,
|
|
died, and the country became disturbed by various pretenders to
|
|
the throne. Stein joined the party of a younger son, the one of
|
|
whom thirty years later he never sppke otherwise but as "my poor
|
|
Mohammed Bonso." They both became the heroes of innumerable
|
|
exploits; they had wonderful adventures, and once stood a siege in
|
|
the Scotsman's house for a month, with only a score of followers
|
|
against a whole army. I believe the natives talk of that war to this
|
|
day. Meantime, it seems, Stein never failed to annex on his own
|
|
account every butterfly or beetle he could lay hands on. After some
|
|
eight years of war, negotiations, false truces, sudden outbreaks,
|
|
reconciliation, treachery, and so on, and just as peace seemed at
|
|
last permanently established, his "poor Mohammed Bonso" was
|
|
assassinated at the gate of his own royal residence while dismount-
|
|
ing in the highest spirits on his return from a successful deer-hunt.
|
|
This event rendered Stein's position extremely insecure, but he
|
|
would have stayed perhaps had it not been that a short time after-
|
|
wards he lost Mohammed's sister ("my dear wife the princess," he
|
|
used to say solemnly), by whom he had had a daughter -- mother
|
|
and child both dying within three days of each other from some
|
|
infectious fever. He left the country, which this cruel loss had made
|
|
unbearable to him. Thus ended the first and adventurous part of
|
|
his existence. What followed was so different that, but for the reality
|
|
of sorrow which remained with him, this strang past must have
|
|
resembled a dream. He had a little money; he started life afresh,
|
|
and in the course of years acquired a considerable fortune. At first
|
|
he had travelled a good deal amongst the islands, but age had stolen
|
|
upon him, and of late he seldom left his spacious house three miles
|
|
out of town, with an extensive garden, and surrounded by stables,
|
|
offices, and bamboo cottages for his servants and dependants, of
|
|
whom he had many. He drove in his buggy every morning to town,
|
|
where he had an office with white and Chinese clerks. He owned a
|
|
small fleet of schooners and native craft, and dealt in island produce
|
|
on a large scale. For the rest he lived solitary, but not misanthropic,
|
|
with his books and his collection, classing and arranging specimens,
|
|
corresponding with entomologists in Europe, writing up a descrip-
|
|
tive catalogue of his treasures. Such was the history of the man
|
|
whom I had come to consult upon Jim's case without any definite
|
|
hope. Simply to hear what he would have to say would have been
|
|
a relief. I was very anxious, but I respected the intense, almost
|
|
passionate, absorption with which he looked at a butterfly, as
|
|
though on the bronze sheen of these frail wings, in the white
|
|
tracings, in the gorgeous markings, he could see other things, an
|
|
image of something as perishable and defying destruction as these
|
|
delicate and lifeless tissues displaying a splendour unmarred by
|
|
death.
|
|
|
|
' "Marvellious!" he repeated, looking up at me. "Look! The
|
|
beauty -- but that is nothing -- look at the accuracy, the harmony.
|
|
And so fragile! And so strong! And so exact! This is Nature -- the
|
|
balance of colossal forces. Every star is so -- and every blade of
|
|
grass stands so -- and the mighty Kosmos il perfect equilibrium
|
|
produces -- this. This wonder; this masterpiece of Nature -- the great
|
|
artist."
|
|
|
|
' "Never heard an entomologist go on like this," I observed
|
|
cheerfully. "Masterpiece! And what of man?'
|
|
|
|
' "Man is amazing, but he is not a masterpiece," he said, keeping
|
|
his eyes fixed on the glass case. "Perhaps the artist was a little mad.
|
|
Eh? What do you think? Sometimes it seems to me that man is
|
|
come where he is not wanted, where there is no place for him; for
|
|
if not, why should he want all the place? Why should he run about
|
|
here and there making a great noise about himself, talking about
|
|
the stars, disturbing the blades of grass? . . ."
|
|
|
|
' "Catching butterflies," I chimed in.
|
|
|
|
'He smiled, threw himself back in his chair, and stretched his
|
|
legs. "Sit down," he said. "I captured this rare specimen myself
|
|
one very fine morning. And I had a very big emotion. You don't
|
|
know what it is for a collector to capture such a rare specimen. You
|
|
can't know."
|
|
|
|
'I smiled at my ease in a rocking-chair. His eyes seemed to look
|
|
far beyond the wall at which they stared; and he narrated how, one
|
|
night, a messenger arrived from his "poor Mohammed," requiring
|
|
his presence at the "residenz" -- as he called it -- which was distant
|
|
some nine or ten miles by a bridle-path over a cultivated plain, with
|
|
patches of forest here and there. Early in the morning he started
|
|
from his fortified house, after embracing his little Emma, and leav-
|
|
ing the "princess," his wife, in command. He described how she
|
|
came with him as far as the gate, walking with one hand on the neck
|
|
of his horse; she had on a white jacket, gold pins in her hair, and a
|
|
brown leather belt over her left shoulder with a revolver in it. "She
|
|
talked as women will talk," he said, "telling me to be careful, and
|
|
to try to get back before dark, and what a great wikedness it was
|
|
for me to go alone. We were at war, and the country was not safe;
|
|
my men were putting up bullet-proof shutters to the house and
|
|
loading their rifles, and she begged me to have no fear for her.
|
|
She could defend the house against anybody till I returned. And I
|
|
laughed with pleasure a little. I liked to see her so brave and young
|
|
and strong. I too was young then. At the gate she caught hold of
|
|
my hand and gave it one squeeze and fell back. I made my horse
|
|
stand still outside till I heard the bars of the gate put up behind me.
|
|
There was a great enemy of mine, a great noble -- and a great rascal
|
|
too -- roaming with a band in the neighbourhood. I cantered for
|
|
four or five miles; there had been rain in the night, but the musts
|
|
had gone up, up -- and the face of the earth was clean; it lay smiling
|
|
to me, so fresh and innocent -- like a little chilid. Suddenliy somebody
|
|
fires a volley -- twenty shots at least it seemed to me. I hear bullets
|
|
sing in my ear, and my hat jumps to the back of my head. It was a
|
|
little intrigue, you understand. They got my poor Mohammed to
|
|
send for me and then laid that ambush. I see it all in a minute, and
|
|
I think -- This wants a little management. My pony snort, jump,
|
|
and stand, and I fall slowly forward with my head on his mane. He
|
|
begins to walk, and with one eye I could see over his neck a faint
|
|
cloud of smoke hanging in front of a clump of bamboos to my left.
|
|
I think -- Aha! my friends, why you not wait long enough before
|
|
you shoot? This is not yet gelungen. Oh no! I get hold of my revolver
|
|
with my right hand -- quiet -- quiet. After all, there were only seven
|
|
of these rascals. They get up from the grass and start running with
|
|
their sarongs tucked up, waving spears above their heads, and yel-
|
|
ling to each other to look out and catch the horse, because I was
|
|
dead. I let them come as close as the door here, and then bang,
|
|
bang, bang -- take aim each time too. One more shot I fire at a man's
|
|
back, but I miss. Too far already. And then I sit alone on my horse
|
|
with the clean earth smiling at me, and there are the bodies of three
|
|
men lying on the ground. One was curled up like a dog, another on
|
|
his back had an arm over his eyes as if to keep off the sun, and the
|
|
third man he draws up his leg very slowly and makes it with one
|
|
kick straight again. I watch him very carefully from my horse, but
|
|
there is no more -- bleibt ganz ruhig -- keep still, so. And as I looked
|
|
at his face for some sign of life I observed something like a faint
|
|
shadow pass over his forehead. It was the shadow of this butterfly.
|
|
Look at the form of the wing. This species fly high with a strong
|
|
flight. I raised my eyes and I saw him fluttering away. I think -- Can
|
|
it be possible? And then I lost him. I dismounted and went on very
|
|
slow, leading my horse and holding my revolver with one hand and
|
|
my eyes darting up and down and right and left, everywhere! At last
|
|
I saw him sitting on a small heap of dirt ten feet away. At once my
|
|
heart began to beat quick. I let go my horse, keep my revolver in one
|
|
hand, and with the other snatch my soft felt hat off my head. One
|
|
step. Steady. Another step. Flop! I got him! When I got up I shook
|
|
like a leaf with excitement, and when I opened these beautiful wings
|
|
and made sure what a rare and so extraordinary perfect specimen I
|
|
had, my head went round and my legs became so weak with emotion
|
|
that I had to sit on the ground. I had greatly desired to possess myself
|
|
of a specimen of that species when collecting for the professor. I took
|
|
long journeys and underwent great privations; I had dreamed of him
|
|
in my sleep, and here suddenly I had him in my fingers -- for myself!
|
|
In the words of the poet" (he pronounced it "boet") --
|
|
|
|
" 'So halt' ich's endlich denn in meinen Handen,
|
|
|
|
Und nenn' es in gewissem Sinne mein.' "
|
|
|
|
He gave to the last word the emphasis of a suddenly lowered voice,
|
|
and withdrew his eyes slowly from my face. He began to charge a
|
|
long-stemmed pipe busily and in silence, then, pausing with his
|
|
thumb on the orifice of the bowl, looked again at me significantly.
|
|
|
|
' "Yes, my good friend. On that day I had nothing to desire; I
|
|
had greatly annoyed my principal enemy; I was young, strong; I
|
|
had friendship; I had the love" (he said "lof') "of woman, a child
|
|
I had, to make my heart very full -- and even what I had once
|
|
dreamed in my sleep had come into my hand too!"
|
|
|
|
'He struck a match, which flared violently. His thoughtful placid
|
|
face twitched once.
|
|
|
|
' "Friend, wife, child," he said slowly, gazing at the small flame --
|
|
"phoo!" The match was blown out. He sighed and turned again to
|
|
the glass case. The frail and beautiful wings quivered faintly, as if
|
|
his breath had for an instant called back to life that gorgeous object
|
|
of his dreams.
|
|
|
|
' "The work," he began suddenly, pointing to the scattered slips,
|
|
and in his usual gentle and cheery tone, "is making great progress.
|
|
I have been this rare specimen describing.... Na! And what is
|
|
your good news?"
|
|
|
|
' "To tell you the truth, Stein," I said with an effort that sur-
|
|
prised me, "I came here to describe a specimen...."
|
|
|
|
' "Butterfly?" he asked, with an unbelieving and humorous
|
|
eagerness.
|
|
|
|
' "Nothing so perfect," I answered, feeling suddenly dispirited
|
|
with all sorts of doubts. "A man!"
|
|
|
|
' "Ach so!" he murmured, and his smiling countenance, turned
|
|
to me, became grave. Then after looking at me for a while he said
|
|
slowly, "Well -- I am a man too."
|
|
|
|
'Here you have him as he was; he knew how to be so generously
|
|
encouraging as to make a scrupulous man hesitate on the brink of
|
|
confidence; but if I did hesitate it was not for long.
|
|
|
|
'He heard me out, sitting with crossed legs. Sometimes his head
|
|
would disappear completely in a great eruption of smoke, and a
|
|
sympathetic growl would come out from the cloud. When I finished
|
|
he uncrossed his legs, laid down his pipe, leaned forward towards
|
|
me earnestly with his elbows on the arms of his chair, the tips of
|
|
his fingers together.
|
|
|
|
' "I understand very well. He is romantic."
|
|
|
|
'He had diagnosed the case for me, and at first I was quite startled
|
|
to find how simple it was; and indeed our conference resembled so
|
|
much a medical consultation -- Stein, of learned aspect, sitting in
|
|
an arm-chair before his desk; I, anxious, in another, facing him,
|
|
but a little to one side -- that it seemed natural to ask --
|
|
|
|
' "What's good for it?"
|
|
|
|
'He lifted up a long forefinger.
|
|
|
|
' "There is only one remedy! One thing alone can us from being
|
|
ourselves cure!" The finger came down on the desk with a smart
|
|
rap. The case which he had made to look so simple before became
|
|
if possible still simpler -- and altogether hopeless. There was a pause.
|
|
"Yes," said I, "strictly speaking, the question is not how to get
|
|
cured, but how to live."
|
|
|
|
'He approved with his head, a little sadly as it seemed. "Ja!
|
|
ja! In general, adapting the words of your great poet: That is the
|
|
question...." He went on nodding sympathetically.... "How
|
|
to be! Ach! How to be."
|
|
|
|
'He stood up with the tips of his fingers resting on the desk.
|
|
|
|
' "We want in so many different ways to be," he began again.
|
|
"This magnificent butterfly finds a little heap of dirt and sits still
|
|
on it; but man he will never on his heap of mud keep still. He want
|
|
to be so, and again he want to be so...." He moved his hand up,
|
|
then down.... "He wants to be a saint, and he wants to be a
|
|
devil -- and every time he shuts his eyes he sees himself as a very
|
|
fine fellow -- so fine as he can never be.... In a dream...."
|
|
|
|
'He lowered the glass lid, the automatic lock clicked sharply, and
|
|
taking up the case in both hands he bore it religiously away to its
|
|
place, passing out of the bright circle of the lamp into the ring of
|
|
fainter light -- into shapeless dusk at last. It had an odd effect -- as
|
|
if these few steps had carried him out of this concrete and perplexed
|
|
world. His tall form, as though robbed of its substance, hovered
|
|
noiselessly over invisible things with stooping and indefinite move-
|
|
ments; his voice, heard in that remoteness where he could be
|
|
glimpsed mysteriously busy with immaterial cares, was no longer
|
|
incisive, seemed to roll voluminous and grave -- mellowed by dis-
|
|
tance.
|
|
|
|
' "And because you not always can keep your eyes shut there
|
|
comes the real trouble -- the heart pain -- the world pain. I tell you,
|
|
my friend, it is not good for you to find you cannot make your
|
|
dream come true, for the reason that you not strong enough are, or
|
|
not clever enough. .Ja! . . . And all the time you are such a fine
|
|
fellow too! Wie? Was? Gott im Himmel! How can that be? Ha! ha!
|
|
ha!"
|
|
|
|
'The shadow prowling amongst the graves of butterflies laughed
|
|
boisterously.
|
|
|
|
' "Yes! Very funny this terrible thing is. A man that is born falls
|
|
into a dream like a man who falls into the sea. If he tries to climb
|
|
out into the air as inexperienced people endeavour to do, he
|
|
drowns -- nicht wahr? . . . No! I tell you! The way is to the destruc-
|
|
tive element submit yourself, and with the exertions of your hands
|
|
and feet in the water make the deep, deep sea keep you up. So if
|
|
you ask me -- how to be?"
|
|
|
|
'His voice leaped up extraordinarily strong, as though away there
|
|
in the dusk he had been inspired by some whisper of knowledge.
|
|
"I will tell you! For that too there is only one way."
|
|
|
|
'With a hasty swish-swish of his slippers he loomed up in the ring
|
|
of faint light, and suddenly appeared in the bright circle of the
|
|
lamp. His extended hand aimed at my breast like a pistol; his deep-
|
|
set eyes seemed to pierce through me, but his twitching lips uttered
|
|
no word, and the austere exaltation of a certitude seen in the dusk
|
|
vanished from his face. The hand that had been pointing at my
|
|
breast fell, and by-and-by, coming a step nearer, he laid it gently
|
|
on my shoulder. There were things, he said mournfully, that per-
|
|
haps could never be told, only he had lived so much alone that
|
|
sometimes he forgot -- he forgot. The light had destroyed the assur-
|
|
ance which had inspired him in the distant shadows. He sat down
|
|
and, with both elbows on the desk, rubbed his forehead. "And yet
|
|
it is true -- it is true. In the destructive element immerse." . . . He
|
|
spoke in a subdued tone, without looking at me, one hand on each
|
|
side of his face. "That was the way. To follow the dream, and again
|
|
to follow the dream -- and so -- ewig -- usque ad finem...." The
|
|
whisper of his conviction seemed to open before me a vast and
|
|
uncertain expanse, as of a crepuscular horizon on a plain at dawn --
|
|
or was it, perchance, at the coming of the night? One had not
|
|
the courage to decide; but it was a charming and deceptive light,
|
|
throwing the impalpable poesy of its dimness over pitfalls -- over
|
|
graves. His life had begun in sacrifice, in enthusiasm for generous
|
|
ideas; he had travelled very far, on various ways, on strange paths,
|
|
and whatever he followed it had been without faltering, and there-
|
|
fore without shame and without regret. In so far he was right. That
|
|
was the way, no doubt. Yet for all that, the great plain on which
|
|
men wander amongst graves and pitfalls remained very desolate
|
|
under the impalpable poesy of its crepuscular light, overshadowed
|
|
in the centre, circled with a bright edge as if surrounded by an abyss
|
|
full of flames. When at last I broke the silence it was to express the
|
|
opinion that no one could be more romantic than himself.
|
|
|
|
'He shook his head slowly, and afterwards looked at me with a
|
|
patient and inquiring glance. It was a shame, he said. There we
|
|
were sitting and talking like two boys, instead of putting our heads
|
|
together to find something practical -- a practical remedy -- for the
|
|
evil -- for the great evil -- he repeated, with a humorous and indulgent
|
|
smile. For all that, our talk did not grow more practical. We avoided
|
|
pronouncing Jim's name as though we had tried to keep flesh and
|
|
blood out of our discussion, or he were nothing but an erring spirit,
|
|
a suffering and nameless shade. "Na!" said Stein, rising. "To-night
|
|
you sleep here, and in the morning we shall do something practical --
|
|
practical...." He lit a two-branched candlestick and led the way.
|
|
We passed through empty dark rooms, escorted by gleams from
|
|
the lights Stein carried. They glided along the waxed floors, sweep-
|
|
ing here and there over the polished surface of a table, leaped upon
|
|
a fragmentary curve of a piece of furniture, or flashed perpendicul-
|
|
arly in and out of distant mirrors, while the forms of two men and
|
|
the flicker of two flames could be seen for a moment stealing silently
|
|
across the depths of a crystalline void. He walked slowly a pace in
|
|
advance with stooping courtesy; there was a profound, as it were a
|
|
listening, quietude on his face; the long flaxen locks mixed with
|
|
white threads were scattered thinly upon his slightly bowed neck.
|
|
|
|
' "He is romantic -- romantic," he repeated. "And that is very
|
|
bad -- very bad.... Very good, too," he added. "But is he?" I
|
|
queried.
|
|
|
|
' "Gewiss," he said, and stood still holding up the candelabrum,
|
|
but without looking at me. "Evident! What is it that by inward pain
|
|
makes him know himself? What is it that for you and me makes
|
|
him -- exist?"
|
|
|
|
'At that moment it was difficult to believe in Jim's existence --
|
|
starting from a country parsonage, blurred by crowds of men as by
|
|
clouds of dust, silenced by the clashing claims of life and death in
|
|
a material world -- but his imperishable reality came to me with a
|
|
convincing, with an irresistible force! I saw it vividly, as though in
|
|
our progress through the lofty silent rooms amongst fleeting gleams
|
|
of light and the sudden revelations of human figures stealing with
|
|
flickering flames within unfathomable and pellucid depths, we had
|
|
approached nearer to absolute Truth, which, like Beauty itself,
|
|
floats elusive, obscure, half submerged, in the silent still waters of
|
|
mystery. "Perhaps he is," I admitted with a slight laugh, whose
|
|
unexpectedly loud reverberation made me lower my voice directly;
|
|
"but I am sure you are." With his head dropping on his breast and
|
|
the light held high he began to walk again. "Well -- I exist too," he
|
|
said.
|
|
|
|
'He preceded me. My eyes followed his movements, but what I
|
|
did see was not the head of the firm, the welcome guest at afternoon
|
|
receptions, the correspondent of learned societies, the entertainer
|
|
of stray naturalists; I saw only the reality of his destiny, which he
|
|
had known how to follow with unfaltering footsteps, that life begun
|
|
in humble surroundings, rich in generous enthusiasms, in
|
|
friendship, love, war -- in all the exalted elements of romance. At
|
|
the door of my room he faced me. "Yes," I said, as though carrying
|
|
on a discussion, "and amongst other things you dreamed foolishly
|
|
of a certain butterfly; but when one fine morning your dream came
|
|
in your way you did not let the splendid opportunity escape. Did
|
|
you? Whereas he . . ." Stein lifted his hand. "And do you know
|
|
how many opportunities I let escape; how many dreams I had lost
|
|
that had come in my way?" He shook his head regretfully. "It seems
|
|
to me that some would have been very fine -- if I had made them
|
|
come true. Do you know how many? Perhaps I myself don't know. "
|
|
"Whether his were fine or not," I said, "he knows of one which he
|
|
certainly did not catch." "Everybody knows of one or two like
|
|
that," said Stein; "and that is the trouble -- the great trouble...."
|
|
|
|
'He shook hands on the threshold, peered into my room under
|
|
his raised arm. "Sleep well. And to-morrow we must do something
|
|
practical -- practical...."
|
|
|
|
'Though his own room was beyond mine I saw him return the
|
|
way he came. He was going back to his butterflies.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 21
|
|
|
|
'I don't suppose any of you have ever heard of Patusan?' Marlow
|
|
resumed, after a silence occupied in the careful lighting of a cigar.
|
|
'It does not matter; there's many a heavenly body in the lot crowd-
|
|
ing upon us of a night that mankind had never heard of, it being
|
|
outside the sphere of its activities and of no earthly importance to
|
|
anybody but to the astronomers who are paid to talk learnedly about
|
|
its composition, weight, path -- the irregularities of its conduct, the
|
|
aberrations of its light -- a sort of scientific scandal-mongering. Thus
|
|
with Patusan. It was referred to knowingly in the inner government
|
|
circles in Batavia, especially as to its irregularities and aberrations,
|
|
and it was known by name to some few, very few, in the mercantile
|
|
world. Nobody, however, had been there, and I suspect no one
|
|
desired to go there in person -- just as an astronomer, I should fancy,
|
|
would strongly object to being transported into a distant heavenly
|
|
body, where, parted from his earthly emoluments, he would be
|
|
bewildered by the view of an unfamiliar heaven. However, neither
|
|
heavenly bodies nor astronomers have anything to do with Patusan.
|
|
It was Jim who went there. I only meant you to understand that
|
|
had Stein arranged to send him into a star of the fifth magnitude
|
|
the change could not have been greater. He left his earthly failings
|
|
behind him and what sort of reputation he had, and there was a
|
|
totally new set of conditions for his imaginative faculty to work
|
|
upon. Entirely new, entirely remarkable. And he got hold of them
|
|
in a remarkable way.
|
|
|
|
'Stein was the man who knew more about Patusan than anybody
|
|
else. More than was known in the government circles I suspect. I
|
|
have no doubt he had been there, either in his butterfly-hunting
|
|
days or later on, when he tried in his incorrigible way to season with
|
|
a pinch of romance the fattening dishes of his commercial kitchen.
|
|
There were very few places in the Archipelago he had not seen in
|
|
the original dusk of their being, before light (and even electric light)
|
|
had been carried into them for the sake of better morality and --
|
|
and -- well -- the greater profit too. It was at breakfast of the morning
|
|
following our talk about Jim that he mentioned the place, after
|
|
I had quoted poor Brierly's remark: "Let him creep twenty feet
|
|
underground and stay there." He looked up at me with interested
|
|
attention, as though I had been a rare insect. "This could be done
|
|
too," he remarked, sipping his coffee. "Bury him in some sort," I
|
|
explained. "One doesn't like to do it of course, but it would be the
|
|
best thing, seeing what he is." "Yes; he is young," Stein mused.
|
|
"The youngest human being now in existence," I affirmed. "Schon.
|
|
There's Patusan," he went on in the same tone.... "And the
|
|
woman is dead now," he added incomprehensibly.
|
|
|
|
'Of course I don't know that story; I can only guess that once
|
|
before Patusan had been used as a grave for some sin, transgression,
|
|
or misfortune. It is impossible to suspect Stein. The only woman
|
|
that had ever existed for him was the Malay girl he called "My
|
|
wife the princess," or, more rarely, in moments of expansion, "the
|
|
mother of my Emma." Who was the woman he had mentioned
|
|
in connection with Patusan I can't say; but from his allusions I
|
|
understand she had been an educated and very good-looking Dutch-
|
|
Malay girl, with a tragic or perhaps only a pitiful history, whose
|
|
most painful part no doubt was her marriage with a Malacca Portu-
|
|
guese who had been clerk in some commercial house in the Dutch
|
|
colonies. I gathered from Stein that this man was an unsatisfactory
|
|
person in more ways than one, all being more or less indefinite and
|
|
offensive. It was solely for his wife's sake that Stein had appointed
|
|
him manager of Stein & Co.'s trading post in Patusan; but commer-
|
|
cially the arrangement was not a success, at any rate for the firm,
|
|
and now the woman had died, Stein was disposed to try another
|
|
agent there. The Portuguese, whose name was Cornelius, con-
|
|
sidered himself a very deserving but ill-used person, entitled by his
|
|
abilities to a better position. This man Jim would have to relieve.
|
|
"But I don't think he will go away from the place," remarked Stein.
|
|
"That has nothing to do with me. It was only for the sake of the
|
|
woman that I . . . But as I think there is a daughter left, I shall let
|
|
him, if he likes to stay, keep the old house."
|
|
|
|
'Patusan is a remote district of a native-ruled state, and the chief
|
|
settlement bears the same name. At a point on the river about forty
|
|
miles from the sea, where the first houses come into view, there can
|
|
be seen rising above the level of the forests the summits of two steep
|
|
hills very close together, and separated by what looks like a deep
|
|
fissure, the cleavage of some mighty stroke. As a matter of fact, the
|
|
valley between is nothing but a narrow ravine; the appearance from
|
|
the settlement is of one irregularly conical hill split in two, and with
|
|
the two halves leaning slightly apart. On the third day after the full,
|
|
the moon, as seen from the open space in front of Jim's house (he
|
|
had a very fine house in the native style when I visited him), rose
|
|
exactly behind these hills, its diffused light at first throwing the two
|
|
masses into intensely black relief, and then the nearly perfect disc,
|
|
glowing ruddily, appeared, gliding upwards between the sides of
|
|
the chasm, till it floated away above the summits, as if escaping
|
|
from a yawning grave in gentle triumph. "Wonderful effect," said
|
|
Jim by my side. "Worth seeing. Is it not?"
|
|
|
|
'And this question was put with a note of personal pride that
|
|
made me smile, as though he had had a hand in regulating that
|
|
unique spectacle. He had regulated so many things in Patusan --
|
|
things that would have appeared as much beyond his control as the
|
|
motions of the moon and the stars.
|
|
|
|
'It was inconceivable. That was the distinctive quality of the part
|
|
into which Stein and I had tumbled him unwittingly, with no other
|
|
notion than to get him out of the way; out of his own way, be it
|
|
understood. That was our main purpose, though, I own, I might
|
|
have had another motive which had influenced me a little. I was
|
|
about to go home for a time; and it may be I desired, more than I
|
|
was aware of myself, to dispose of him -- to dispose of him, you
|
|
understand -- before I left. I was going home, and he had come to
|
|
me from there, with his miserable trouble and his shadowy claim,
|
|
like a man panting under a burden in a mist. I cannot say I had ever
|
|
seen him distinctly -- not even to this day, after I had my last view
|
|
of him; but it seemed to me that the less I understood the more I
|
|
was bound to him in the name of that doubt which is the inseparable
|
|
part of our knowledge. I did not know so much more about myself.
|
|
And then, I repeat, I was going home -- to that home distant enough
|
|
for all its hearthstones to be like one hearthstone, by which the
|
|
humblest of us has the right to sit. We wander in our thousands
|
|
over the face of the earth, the illustrious and the obscure, earning
|
|
beyond the seas our fame, our money, or only a crust of bread; but
|
|
it seems to me that for each of us going home must be like going to
|
|
render an account. We return to face our superiors, our kindred,
|
|
our friends -- those whom we obey, and those whom we love; but
|
|
even they who have neither, the most free, lonely, irresponsible and
|
|
bereft of ties, -- even those for whom home holds no dear face, no
|
|
familiar voice, -- even they have to meet the spirit that dwells within
|
|
the land, under its sky, in its air, in its valleys, and on its rises, in
|
|
its fields, in its waters and its trees -- a mute friend, judge, and
|
|
inspirer. Say what you like, to get its joy, to breathe its peace, to
|
|
face its truth, one must return with a clear conscience. All this may
|
|
seem to you sheer sentimentalism; and indeed very few of us have
|
|
the will or the capacity to look consciously under the surface of
|
|
familiar emotions. There are the girls we love, the men we look up
|
|
to, the tenderness, the friendships, the opportunities, the pleasures!
|
|
But the fact remains that you must touch your reward with clean
|
|
hands, lest it turn to dead leaves, to thorns, in your grasp. I think
|
|
it is the lonely, without a fireside or an affection they may call their
|
|
own, those who return not to a dwelling but to the land itself, to
|
|
meet its disembodied, eternal, and unchangeable spirit -- it is those
|
|
who understand best its severity, its saving power, the grace of
|
|
its secular right to our fidelity, to our obedience. Yes! few of us
|
|
understand, but we all feel it though, and I say all without excep-
|
|
tion, because those who do not feel do not count. Each blade of
|
|
grass has its spot on earth whence it draws its life, its strength; and
|
|
so is man rooted to the land from which he draws his faith together
|
|
with his life. I don't know how much Jim understood; but I know
|
|
he felt, he felt confusedly but powerfully, the demand of some such
|
|
truth or some such illusion -- I don't care how you call it, there is
|
|
so little difference, and the difference means so little. The thing is
|
|
that in virtue of his feeling he mattered. He would never go home
|
|
now. Not he. Never. Had he been capable of picturesque manifes-
|
|
tations he would have shuddered at the thought and made you
|
|
shudder too. But he was not of that sort, though he was expressive
|
|
enough in his way. Before the idea of going home he would grow
|
|
desperately stiff and immovable, with lowered chin and pouted lips,
|
|
and with those candid blue eyes of his glowering darkly under a
|
|
frown, as if before something unbearable, as if before something
|
|
revolting. There was imagination in that hard skull of his, over
|
|
which the thick clustering hair fitted like a cap. As to me, I have
|
|
no imagination (I would be more certain about him today, if I had),
|
|
and I do not mean to imply that I figured to myself the spirit of the
|
|
land uprising above the white cliffs of Dover, to ask me what I --
|
|
returning with no bones broken, so to speak -- had done with my
|
|
very young brother. I could not make such a mistake. I knew very
|
|
well he was of those about whom there is no inquiry; I had seen
|
|
better men go out, disappear, vanish utterly, without provoking a
|
|
sound of curiosity or sorrow. The spirit of the land, as becomes the
|
|
ruler of great enterprises, is careless of innumerable lives. Woe to
|
|
the stragglers! We exist only in so far as we hang together. He had
|
|
straggled in a way; he had not hung on; but he was aware of it with
|
|
an intensity that made him touching, just as a man's more intense
|
|
life makes his death more touching than the death of a tree. I hap-
|
|
pened to be handy, and I happened to be touched. That's all there
|
|
is to it. I was concerned as to the way he would go out. It would
|
|
have hurt me if, for instance, he had taken to drink. The earth is
|
|
so small that I was afraid of, some day, being waylaid by a blear-
|
|
eyed, swollen-faced, besmirched loafer, with no soles to his canvas
|
|
shoes, and with a flutter of rags about the elbows, who, on the
|
|
strength of old acquaintance, would ask for a loan of five dollars.
|
|
You know the awful jaunty bearing of these scarecrows coming to
|
|
you from a decent past, the rasping careless voice, the half-averted
|
|
impudent glances -- those meetings more trying to a man who
|
|
believes in the solidarity of our lives than the sight of an impenitent
|
|
death-bed to a priest. That, to tell you the truth, was the only
|
|
danger I could see for him and for me; but I also mistrusted my
|
|
want of imagination. It might even come to something worse, in
|
|
some way it was beyond my powers of fancy to foresee. He wouldn't
|
|
let me forget how imaginative he was, and your imaginative people
|
|
swing farther in any direction, as if given a longer scope of cable in
|
|
the uneasy anchorage of life. They do. They take to drink too. It
|
|
may be I was belittling him by such a fear. How could I tell? Even
|
|
Stein could say no more than that he was romantic. I only knew he
|
|
was one of us. And what business had he to be romantic? I am
|
|
telling you so much about my own instinctive feelings and bemused
|
|
reflections because there remains so little to be told of him. He
|
|
existed for me, and after all it is only through me that he exists for
|
|
you. I've led him out by the hand; I have paraded him before you.
|
|
Were my commonplace fears unjust? I won't say -- not even now.
|
|
You may be able to tell better, since the proverb has it that the
|
|
onlookers see most of the game. At any rate, they were superfluous.
|
|
He did not go out, not at all; on the contrary, he came on wonder-
|
|
fully, came on straight as a die and in excellent form, which showed
|
|
that he could stay as well as spurt. I ought to be delighted, for it is
|
|
a victory in which I had taken my part; but I am not so pleased as
|
|
I would have expected to be. I ask myself whether his rush had
|
|
really carried him out of that mist in which he loomed interesting
|
|
if not very big, with floating outlines -- a straggler yearning inconsol-
|
|
ably for his humble place in the ranks. And besides, the last word
|
|
is not said -- probably shall never be said. Are not our lives too short
|
|
for that full utterance which through all our stammerings is of
|
|
course our only and abiding intention? I have given up expecting
|
|
those last words, whose ring, if they could only be pronounced,
|
|
would shake both heaven and earth. There is never time to say our
|
|
last word -- the last word of our love, of our desire, faith, remorse,
|
|
submission, revolt. The heaven and the earth must not be shaken,
|
|
I suppose -- at least, not by us who know so many truths about
|
|
either. My last words about lim shall be few. I affirm he had
|
|
achieved greatness; but the thing would be dwarfed in the telling,
|
|
or rather in the hearing. Frankly, it is not my words that I mistrust,
|
|
but your minds. I could be eloquent were I not afraid you fellows
|
|
had starved your imaginations to feed your bodies. I do not mean
|
|
to be offensive; it is respectable to have no illusions -- and safe -- and
|
|
profitable -- and dull. Yet you too in your time must have known
|
|
the intensity of life, that light of glamour created in the shock of
|
|
trifles, as amazing as the glow of sparks struck from a cold stone --
|
|
and as short-lived, alas!'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 22
|
|
|
|
'The conquest of love, honour, men's confidence -- the pride of
|
|
it, the power of it, are fit materials for a heroic tale; only our minds
|
|
are struck by the externals of such a success, and to Jim's successes
|
|
there were no externals. Thirty miles of forest shut it off from the
|
|
sight of an indifferent world, and the noise of the white surf along
|
|
the coast overpowered the voice of fame. The stream of civilisation,
|
|
as if divided on a headland a hundred miles north of Patusan, bran-
|
|
ches east and south-east, leaving its plains and valleys, its old trees
|
|
and its old mankind, neglected and isolated, such as an insignificant
|
|
and crumbling islet between the two branches of a mighty, devour-
|
|
ing stream. You find the name of the country pretty often in collec-
|
|
tions of old voyages. The seventeenth-century traders went there
|
|
for pepper, because the passion for pepper seemed to burn like a
|
|
flame of love in the breast of Dutch and English adventurers about
|
|
the time of James the First. Where wouldn't they go for pepper!
|
|
For a bag of pepper they would cut each other's throats without
|
|
hesitation, and would forswear their souls, of which they were so
|
|
careful otherwise: the bizarre obstinacy of that desire made them
|
|
defy death in a thousand shapes -- the unknown seas, the loathsome
|
|
and strange diseases; wounds, captivity, hunger, pestilence, and
|
|
despair. It made them great! By heavens! it made them heroic; and
|
|
it made them pathetic too in their craving for trade with the inflex-
|
|
ible death levying its toll on young and old. It seems impossible to
|
|
believe that mere greed could hold men to such a steadfastness of
|
|
purpose, to such a blind persistence in endeavour and sacrifice. And
|
|
indeed those who adventured their persons and lives risked all they
|
|
had for a slender reward. They left their bones to lie bleaching on
|
|
distant shores, so that wealth might flow to the living at home. To
|
|
us, their less tried successors, they appear magnified, not as agents
|
|
of trade but as instruments of a recorded destiny, pushing out into
|
|
the unknown in obedience to an inward voice, to an impulse beating
|
|
in the blood, to a dream of the future. They were wonderful; and
|
|
it must be owned they were ready for the wonderful. They recorded
|
|
it complacently in their sufferings, in the aspect of the seas, in the
|
|
customs of strange nations, in the glory of splendid rulers.
|
|
|
|
'In Patusan they had found lots of pepper, and had been
|
|
impressed by the magnificence and the wisdom of the Sultan; but
|
|
somehow, after a century of chequered intercourse, the country
|
|
seems to drop gradually out of the trade. Perhaps the pepper had
|
|
given out. Be it as it may, nobody cares for it now; the glory has
|
|
departed, the Sultan is an imbecile youth with two thumbs on his
|
|
left hand and an uncertain and beggarly revenue extorted from a
|
|
miserable population and stolen from him by his many uncles.
|
|
|
|
'This of course I have from Stein. He gave me their names and a
|
|
short sketch of the life and character of each. He was as full of
|
|
information about native states as an official report, but infinitely
|
|
more amusing. He had to know. He traded in so many, and in some
|
|
districts -- as in Patusan, for instance -- his firm was the only one to
|
|
have an agency by special permit from the Dutch authorities. The
|
|
Government trusted his discretion, and it was understood that he
|
|
took all the risks. The men he employed understood that too, but
|
|
he made it worth their while apparently. He was perfectly frank
|
|
with me over the breakfast-table in the morning. As far as he was
|
|
aware (the last news was thirteen months old, he stated precisely),
|
|
utter insecurity for life and property was the normal condition.
|
|
There were in Patusan antagonistic forces, and one of them was
|
|
Rajah Allang, the worst of the Sultan's uncles, the governor of the
|
|
river, who did the extorting and the stealing, and ground down
|
|
to the point of extinction the counuy-born Malays, who, utterly
|
|
defenceless, had not even the resource of emigrating -- "For
|
|
indeed," as Stein remarked, "where could they go, and how could
|
|
they get away?" No doubt they did not even desire to get away.
|
|
The world (which is circumscribed by lofty impassable mountains)
|
|
has been given into the hand of the high-born, and this Rajah they
|
|
knew: he was of their own royal house. I had the pleasure of meeting
|
|
the gentleman later on. He was a dirty, little, used-up old man with
|
|
evil eyes and a weak mouth, who swallowed an opium pill every
|
|
two hours, and in defiance of common decency wore his hair
|
|
uncovered and falling in wild stringy locks about his wizened grimy
|
|
face. When giving audience he would clamber upon a sort of narrow
|
|
stage erected in a hall like a ruinous barn with a rotten bamboo
|
|
floor, through the cracks of which you could see, twelve or fifteen
|
|
feet below, the heaps of refuse and garbage of all kinds lying under
|
|
the house. That is where and how he received us when,
|
|
accompanied by Jim, I paid him a visit of ceremony. There were
|
|
about forty people in the room, and perhaps three times as many
|
|
in the great courtyard below. There was constant movement, com-
|
|
ing and going, pushing and murmuring, at our backs. A few youths
|
|
in gay silks glared from the distance; the majority, slaves and hum-
|
|
ble dependants, were half naked, in ragged sarongs, dirty with
|
|
ashes and mud-stains. I had never seen Jim look so grave, so self-
|
|
possessed, in an impenetrable, impressive way. In the midst of these
|
|
dark-faced men, his stalwart figure in white apparel, the gleaming
|
|
clusters of his fair hair, seemed to catch all the sunshine that trickled
|
|
through the cracks in the closed shutters of that dim hall, with its
|
|
walls of mats and a roof of thatch. He appeared like a creature not
|
|
only of another kind but of another essence. Had they not seen him
|
|
come up in a canoe they might have thought he had descended upon
|
|
them from the clouds. He did, however, come in a crazy dug-out,
|
|
sitting (very still and with his knees together, for fear of overturning
|
|
the thing) -- sitting on a tin box -- which I had lent him -- nursing
|
|
on his lap a revolver of the Navy pattern -- presented by me on
|
|
parting -- which, through an interposition of Providence, or through
|
|
some wrong-headed notion, that was just like him, or else from
|
|
sheer instinctive sagacity, he had decided to carry unloaded. That's
|
|
how he ascended the Patusan river. Nothing could have been more
|
|
prosaic and more unsafe, more extravagantly casual, more lonely.
|
|
Strange, this fatality that would cast the complexion of a flight upon
|
|
all his acts, of impulsive unreflecting desertion of a jump into the
|
|
unknown.
|
|
|
|
'It is precisely the casualness of it that strikes me most. Neither
|
|
Stein nor I had a clear conception of what might be on the other
|
|
side when we, metaphorically speaking, took him up and hove him
|
|
over the wall with scant ceremony. At the moment I merely wished
|
|
to achieve his disappearance; Stein characteristically enough had a
|
|
sentimental motive. He had a notion of paying off (in kind, I sup-
|
|
pose) the old debt he had never forgotten. Indeed he had been all
|
|
his life especially friendly to anybody from the British Isles. His
|
|
late benefactor, it is true, was a Scot -- even to the length of being
|
|
called Alexander McNeil -- and Jim came from a long way south of
|
|
the Tweed; but at the distance of six or seven thousand miles Great
|
|
Britain, though never diminished, looks foreshortened enough even
|
|
to its own children to rob such details of their importance. Stein
|
|
was excusable, and his hinted intentions were so generous that I
|
|
begged him most earnestly to keep them secret for a time. I felt
|
|
that no consideration of personal advantage should be allowed to
|
|
influence Jim; that not even the risk of such influence should be
|
|
run. We had to deal with another sort of reality. He wanted a refuge,
|
|
and a refuge at the cost of danger should be offered him -- nothing
|
|
more.
|
|
|
|
'Upon every other point I was perfectly frank with him, and
|
|
I even (as I believed at the time) exaggerated the danger of the
|
|
undertaking. As a matter of fact I did not do it justice; his first day
|
|
in Patusan was nearly his last -- would have been his last if he had
|
|
not been so reckless or so hard on himself and had condescended
|
|
to load that revolver. I remember, as I unfolded our precious
|
|
scheme for his retreat, how his stubborn but weary resignation was
|
|
gradually replaced by surprise, interest, wonder, and by boyish
|
|
eagerness. This was a chance he had been dreaming of. He couldn't
|
|
think how he merited that I . . . He would be shot if he could
|
|
see to what he owed . . .And it was Stein, Stein the merchant,
|
|
who . . .but of course it was me he had to . . . I cut him short. He
|
|
was not articulate, and his gratitude caused me inexplicable pain. I
|
|
told him that if he owed this chance to any one especially, it was to
|
|
an old Scot of whom he had never heard, who had died many years
|
|
ago, of whom little was remembered besides a roaring voice and a
|
|
rough sort of honesty. There was really no one to receive his thanks.
|
|
Stein was passing on to a young man the help he had received in
|
|
his own young days, and I had done no more than to mention his
|
|
name. Upon this he coloured, and, twisting a blit of paper in his
|
|
fingers, he remarked bashfully that I had always trusted him.
|
|
|
|
'I admitted that such was the case, and added after a pause that
|
|
I wished he had been able to follow my example. "You think I
|
|
don't?" he asked uneasily, and remarked in a mutter that one had
|
|
to get some sort of show first; then brightening up, and in a loud
|
|
voice he protested he would give me no occasion to regret my confi-
|
|
dence, which -- which . . .
|
|
|
|
' "Do not misapprehend," I interrupted. "It is not in your power
|
|
to make me regret anything." There would be no regrets; but if
|
|
there were, it would be altogether my own affair: an the other hand,
|
|
I wished him to understand clearly that this arrangement, this --
|
|
this -- experiment, was his own doing; he was responsible for it and
|
|
no one else. "Why? Why," he stammered, "this is the very thing
|
|
that I . . ." I begged him not to be dense, and he looked more
|
|
puzzled than ever. He was in a fair way to make life intolerable to
|
|
himself . . . "Do you think so?" he asked, disturbed; but in a
|
|
moment added confidently, "I was going on though. Was I not?"
|
|
It was impossible to be angry with him: I could not help a smile,
|
|
and told him that in the old days people who went on like this
|
|
were on the way of becoming hermits in a wilderness. "Hermits be
|
|
hanged!" he commented with engaging impulsiveness. Of course
|
|
he didn't mind a wilderness.... "I was glad of it," I said. That
|
|
was where he would be going to. He would find it lively enough, I
|
|
ventured to promise. "Yes, yes," he said keenly. He had shown a
|
|
desire, I continued inflexibly, to go out and shut the door after
|
|
him.... "Did I?" he interrupted in a strange acess of gloom that
|
|
seemed to envelop him from head to foot like the shadow of a
|
|
passing cloud. He was wonderfully expressive after all. Wonder-
|
|
fully! "Did I?" he repeated bitterly. "You can't say I made much
|
|
noise about it. And I can keep it up too -- only, confound it! you
|
|
show me a door." . . . "Very well. Pass on," I struck in. I could
|
|
make him a solemn promise that it would be shut behind him with
|
|
a vengeance. His fate, whatever it was, would be ignored, because
|
|
the country, for all its rotten state, was not judged ripe for inter-
|
|
ference. Once he got in, it would be for the outside world as though
|
|
he had never existed. He would have nothing but the soles of his
|
|
two feet to stand upon, and he would have first to find his ground
|
|
at that. "Never existed -- that's it, by love," he murmured to him-
|
|
self. His eyes, fastened upon my lips, sparkled. If he had thoroughly
|
|
understood the conditions, I concluded, he had better jump into
|
|
the first gharry he could see and drive on to Stein's house for his
|
|
final instructions. He flung out of the room before I had fairly
|
|
finished speaking.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 23
|
|
|
|
'He did not return till next morning. He had been kept to dinner
|
|
and for the night. There never had been such a wonderful man as
|
|
Mr. Stein. He had in his pocket a letter for Cornelius ("the Johnnie
|
|
who's going to get the sack," he explained, with a momentary drop
|
|
in his elation), and he exhibited with glee a silver ring, such
|
|
as natives use, worn down very thin and showing faint traces of
|
|
chasing.
|
|
|
|
'This was his introduction to an old chap called Doramin -- one
|
|
of the principal men out there -- a big pot -- who had been Mr.
|
|
Stein's friend in that country where he had all these adventures.
|
|
Mr. Stein called hiM "war-comrade." War-comrade was good.
|
|
Wasn't it? And didn't Mr. Stein speak English wonderfully well?
|
|
Said he had learned it in Celebes -- of all places! That was awfully
|
|
funny. Was it not? He did speak with an accent -- a twang -- did I
|
|
notice? That chap Doramin had given him the ring. They had
|
|
exchanged presents when they parted for the last time. Sort of
|
|
promising eternal friendship. He called it fine -- did I not? They
|
|
had to make a dash for dear life out of the country when that
|
|
Mohammed -- Mohammed -- What's-his-name had been killed. I
|
|
knew the story, of course. Seemed a beastly shame, didn't it? . . .
|
|
|
|
'He ran on like this, forgetting his plate, with a knife and fork in
|
|
hand (he had found me at tiffin), slightly flushed, and with his eyes
|
|
darkened many shades, which was with him a sign of excitement.
|
|
The ring was a sort of credential -- ("It's like something you read
|
|
of in books," he threw in appreciatively) -- and Doramin would
|
|
do his best for him. Mr. Stein had been the means of saving that
|
|
chap's life on some occasion; purely by accident, Mr. Stein had
|
|
said, but he -- Jim -- had his own opinion about that. Mr. Stein was
|
|
just the man to look out for such accidents. No matter. Accident or
|
|
purpose, this would serve his turn immensely. Hoped to goodness
|
|
the jolly old beggar had not gone off the hooks meantime. Mr. Stein
|
|
could not tell. There had been no news for more than a year; they
|
|
were kicking up no end of an all-fired row amongst themselves, and
|
|
the river was closed. Jolly awkward, this; but, no fear; he would
|
|
manage to find a crack to get in.
|
|
|
|
'He impressed, almost frightened me with his elated rattle. He
|
|
was voluble like a youngster on the eve of a long holiday with a
|
|
prospect of delightful scrapes, and such an attitude of mind in a
|
|
grown man and in this connection had in it something phenomenal,
|
|
a little mad, dangerous, unsafe. I was on the point of entreating
|
|
him to take things seriously when he dropped his knife and fork
|
|
(he had begun eating, or rather swallowing food, as it were, uncon-
|
|
sciously), and began a search all round his plate. The ring! The
|
|
ring! Where the devil . . . Ah! Here it was . . . He closed his big
|
|
hand on it, and tried all his pockets one after another. Jove!
|
|
wouldn't do to lose the thing. He meditated gravely over his fist.
|
|
Had it? Would hang the bally affair round his neck! And he pro-
|
|
ceeded to do this immediately, producing a string (which looked
|
|
like a bit of a cotton shoe-lace) for the purpose. There! That would
|
|
do the trick! It would be the deuce if . . . He seemed to catch sight
|
|
of my face for the first time, and it steadied him a little. I probably
|
|
didn't realise, he said with a naive gravity, how much importance
|
|
he attached to that token. It meant a friend; and it is a good thing
|
|
to have a friend. He knew something about that. He nodded at me
|
|
expressively, but before my disclaiming gesture he leaned his head
|
|
on his hand and for a while sat silent, playing thoughtfully with the
|
|
bread-crumbs on the cloth . . . "Slam the door -- that was jolly well
|
|
put," he cried, and jumping up, began to pace the room, reminding
|
|
me by the set of the shoulders, the turn of his head, the headlong
|
|
and uneven stride, of that night when he had paced thus, confess-
|
|
ing, explaining -- what you will -- but, in the last instance, living --
|
|
living before me, under his own little cloud, with all his un-
|
|
conscious subtlety which could draw consolation from the very
|
|
source of sorrow. It was the same mood, the same and different,
|
|
like a fickle companion that to-day guiding you on the true path,
|
|
with the same eyes, the same step, the same impulse, to-morrow
|
|
will lead you hopelessly astray. His tread was assured, his straying,
|
|
darkened eyes seemed to search the room for something. One of his
|
|
footfalls somehow sounded louder than the other -- the fault of his
|
|
boots probably -- and gave a curious impression of an invisible halt
|
|
in his gait. One of his hands was rammed deep into his trousers'
|
|
pocket, the other waved suddenly above his head. "Slam the door!"
|
|
he shouted. "I've been waiting for that. I'll show yet . . . I'll . . .
|
|
I'm ready for any confounded thing . . . I've been dreaming of
|
|
it . . . Jove! Get out of this. Jove! This is luck at last . . . You wait.
|
|
I'll . . . "
|
|
|
|
'He tossed his head fearlessly, and I confess that for the first and
|
|
last time in our acquaintance I perceived myself unexpectedly to be
|
|
thoroughly sick of him. Why these vapourings? He was stumping
|
|
about the room flourishing his arm absurdly, and now and then
|
|
feeling on his breast for the ring under his clothes. Where was the
|
|
sense of such exaltation in a man appointed to be a trading-clerk,
|
|
and in a place where there was no trade -- at that? Why hurl defiance
|
|
at the universe? This was not a proper frame of mind to approach
|
|
any undertaking; an improper frame of mind not only for him, I
|
|
said, but for any man. He stood still over me. Did I think so? he
|
|
asked, by no means subdued, and with a smile in which I seemed
|
|
to detect suddenly something insolent. But then I am twenty years
|
|
his senior. Youth is insolent; it is its right -- its necessity; it has got
|
|
to assert itself, and all assertion in this world of doubts is a defiance,
|
|
is an insolence. He went off into a far corner, and coming back, he,
|
|
figuratively speaking, turned to rend me. I spoke like that because
|
|
I -- even I, who had been no end kind to him -- even I remembered --
|
|
remembered -- against him -- what -- what had happened. And what
|
|
about others -- the -- the -- world? Where's the wonder he wanted to
|
|
get out, meant to get out, meant to stay out -- by heavens! And I
|
|
talked about proper frames of mind!
|
|
|
|
' "It is not I or the world who remember," I shouted. "It is you --
|
|
you, who remember."
|
|
|
|
'He did not flinch, and went on with heat, "Forget everything,
|
|
everybody, everybody." . . . His voice fell. . . "But you," he
|
|
added.
|
|
|
|
' "Yes -- me too -- if it would help," I said, also in a low tone.
|
|
After this we remained silent and languid for a time as if exhausted.
|
|
Then he began again, composedly, and told me that Mr. Stein had
|
|
instructed him to wait for a month or so, to see whether it was
|
|
possible for him to remain, before he began building a new house
|
|
for himself, so as to avoid "vain expense." He did make use of
|
|
funny expressions -- Stein did. "Vain expense" was good.
|
|
. . . Remain? Why! of course. He would hang on. Let him only get
|
|
in - that's all; he would answer for it he would remain. Never get
|
|
out. It was easy enough to remain.
|
|
|
|
' "Don't be foolhardy," I said, rendered uneasy by his threaten-
|
|
ing tone. "If you only live long enough you will want to come back."
|
|
|
|
' "Come back to what?" he asked absently, with his eyes fixed
|
|
upon the face of a clock on the wall.
|
|
|
|
'I was silent for a while. "Is it to be never, then?" I said. "Never,"
|
|
he repeated dreamily without looking at me, and then flew into
|
|
sudden activity. "Jove! Two o'clock, and I sail at four!"
|
|
|
|
'It was true. A brigantine of Stein's was leaving for the westward
|
|
that afternoon, and he had been instructed to take his passage in
|
|
her, only no orders to delay the sailing had been given. I suppose
|
|
Stein forgot. He made a rush to get his things while I went aboard
|
|
my ship, where he promised to call on his way to the outer road-
|
|
stead. He turned up accordingly in a great hurry and with a small
|
|
leather valise in his hand. This wouldn't do, and I offered him an
|
|
old tin trunk of mine supposed to be water-tight, or at least damp-
|
|
tight. He effected the transfer by the simple process of shooting out
|
|
the contents of his valise as you would empty a sack of wheat. I saw
|
|
three books in the tumble; two small, in dark covers, and a thick
|
|
green-and-gold volume -- a half-crown complete Shakespeare. "You
|
|
read this?" I asked. "Yes. Best thing to cheer up a fellow," he said
|
|
hastily. I was struck by this appreciation, but there was no time
|
|
for Shakespearian talk. A heavy revolver and two small boxes of
|
|
cartridges were lying on the cuddy-table. "Pray take this," I said.
|
|
"It may help you to remain." No sooner were these words out of
|
|
my mouth than I perceived what grim meaning they could bear.
|
|
"May help you to get in," I corrected myself remorsefully. He
|
|
however was not troubled by obscure meanings; he thanked me
|
|
effusively and bolted out, calling Good-bye over his shoulder. I
|
|
heard his voice through the ship's side urging his boatmen to give
|
|
way, and looking out of the stern-port I saw the boat rounding
|
|
under the counter. He sat in her leaning forward, exciting his men
|
|
with voice and gestures; and as he had kept the revolver in his hand
|
|
and seemed to be presenting it at their heads, I shall never forget
|
|
the scared faces of the four Javanese, and the frantic swing of their
|
|
stroke which snatched that vision from under my eyes. Then turn-
|
|
ing away, the first thing I saw were the two boxes of cartridges on
|
|
the cuddy-table. He had forgotten to take them.
|
|
|
|
'I ordered my gig manned at once; but Jim's rowers, under the
|
|
impression that their lives hung on a thread while they had that
|
|
madman in the boat, made such excellent time that before I had
|
|
traversed half the distance between the two vessels I caught sight
|
|
of him clambering over the rail, and of his box being passed up. All
|
|
the brigantine's canvas was loose, her mainsail was set, and the
|
|
windlass was just beginning to clink as I stepped upon her deck:
|
|
her master, a dapper little half-caste of forty or so, in a blue flannel
|
|
suit, with lively eyes, his round face the colour of lemon-peel, and
|
|
with a thin little black moustache drooping on each side of his thick,
|
|
dark lips, came forward smirking. He turned out, notwithstanding
|
|
his self-satisfied and cheery exterior, to be of a careworn tempera-
|
|
ment. In answer to a remark of mine (while Jim had gone below for
|
|
a moment) he said, "Oh yes. Patusan." He was going to carry the
|
|
gentleman to the mouth of the river, but would "never ascend. " His
|
|
flowing English seemed to be derived from a dictionary compiled by
|
|
a lunatic. Had Mr. Stein desired him to "ascend," he would have
|
|
"reverentially" -- (I think he wanted to say respectfully -- but devil
|
|
only knows) -- "reverentially made objects for the safety of proper-
|
|
ties." If disregarded, he would have presented "resignation to
|
|
quit." Twelve months ago he had made his last voyage there, and
|
|
though Mr. Cornelius "propitiated many offertories" to Mr. Rajah
|
|
Allang and the "principal populations," on conditions which made
|
|
the trade "a snare and ashes in the mouth," yet his ship had been
|
|
fired upon from the woods by "irresponsive parties" all the way
|
|
down the river; which causing his crew "from exposure to limb to
|
|
remain silent in hidings," the brigantine was nearly stranded on a
|
|
sandbank at the bar, where she "would have been perishable
|
|
beyond the act of man." The angry disgust at the recollection, the
|
|
pride of his fluency, to which he turned an attentive ear, struggled
|
|
for the possession of his broad simple face. He scowled and beamed
|
|
at me, and watched with satisfaction the undeniable effect of his
|
|
phraseology. Dark frowns ran swiftly over the placid sea, and the
|
|
brigantine, with her fore-topsail to the mast and her main-boom
|
|
amidships, seemed bewildered amongst the cat's-paws. He told me
|
|
further, gnashing his teeth, that the Rajah was a "laughable hyaena"
|
|
(can't imagine how he got hold of hyaenas); while somebody else
|
|
was many times falser than the "weapons of a crocodile." Keeping
|
|
one eye on the movements of his crew forward, he let loose his
|
|
volubility -- comparing the place to a "cage of beasts made ravenous
|
|
by long impenitence." I fancy he meant impunity. He had no
|
|
intention, he cried, to "exhibit himself to be made attached pur-
|
|
posefully to robbery." The long-drawn wails, giving the time for
|
|
the pull of the men catting the anchor, came to an end, and he
|
|
lowered his voice. "Plenty too much enough of Patusan," he con-
|
|
cluded, with energy.
|
|
|
|
'I heard afterwards he had been so indiscreet as to get himself
|
|
tied up by the neck with a rattan halter to a post planted in the
|
|
middle of a mud-hole before the Rajah's house. He spent the best
|
|
part of a day and a whole night in that unwholesome situation, but
|
|
there is every reason to believe the thing had been meant as a sort
|
|
of joke. He brooded for a while over that horrid memory, I suppose,
|
|
and then addressed in a quarrelsome tone the man coming aft to
|
|
the helm. When he turned to me again it was to speak judicially,
|
|
without passion. He would take the gentleman to the mouth of the
|
|
river at Batu Kring (Patusan town "being situated internally," he
|
|
remarked, "thirty miles"). But in his eyes, he continued -- a tone
|
|
of bored, weary conviction replacing his previous voluble delivery --
|
|
the gentleman was already "in the similitude of a corpse." "What?
|
|
What do you say?" I asked. He assumed a startlingly ferocious
|
|
demeanour, and imitated to perfection the act of stabbing from
|
|
behind. "Already like the body of one deported," he explained,
|
|
with the insufferably conceited air of his kind after what they
|
|
imagine a display of cleverness. Behind him I perceived Jim smiling
|
|
silendy at me, and with a raised hand checking the exclamation on
|
|
my lips.
|
|
|
|
'Then, while the half-caste, bursting with importance, shouted
|
|
his orders, while the yards swung creaking and the heavy boom
|
|
came surging over, Jim and I, alone as it were, to leeward of the
|
|
mainsail, clasped each other's hands and exchanged the last hurried
|
|
words. My heart was freed from that dull resentment which had
|
|
existed side by side with interest in his fate. The absurd chatter of
|
|
the half-caste had given more reality to the miserable dangers of his
|
|
path than Stein's careful statements. On that occasion the sort of
|
|
formality that had been always present in our intercourse vanished
|
|
from our speech; I believe I called him "dear boy," and he tacked
|
|
on the words "old man" to some half-uttered expression of grati-
|
|
tude, as though his risk set off against my years had made us more
|
|
equal in age and in feeling. There was a moment of real and pro-
|
|
found intimacy, unexpected and short-lived like a glimpse of some
|
|
everlasting, of some saving truth. He exerted himself to soothe me
|
|
as though he had been the more mature of the two. "All right, all
|
|
right," he said rapidly and with feeling. "I promise to take care of
|
|
myself. Yes; I won't take any risks. Not a single blessed risk. Of
|
|
course not. I mean to hang out. Don't you worry. Jove! I feel as if
|
|
nothing could touch me. Why! this is luck from the word Go.
|
|
I wouldn't spoil such a magnificent chance!" . . . A magnificent
|
|
chance! Well, it was magnificent, but chances are what men make
|
|
them, and how was I to know? As he had said, even I -- even I
|
|
remembered -- his -- his misfortune against him. It was true. And
|
|
the best thing for him was to go.
|
|
|
|
'My gig had dropped in the wake of the brigantine, and I saw
|
|
him aft detached upon the light of the westering sun, raising his
|
|
cap high above his head. I heard an indistinct shout, "You -- shall --
|
|
hear -- of -- me." Of me, or from me, I don't know which. I think
|
|
it must have been of me. My eyes were too dazzled by the glitter of
|
|
the sea below his feet to see him clearly; I am fated never to see him
|
|
clearly; but I can assure you no man could have appeared less "in
|
|
the similitude of a corpse," as that half-caste croaker had put it. I
|
|
could see the little wretch's face, the shape and colour of a ripe
|
|
pumpkin, poked out somewhere under Jim's elbow. He too raised
|
|
his arm as if for a downward thrust. Absit omen!'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 24
|
|
|
|
'The coast of Patusan (I saw it nearly two years afterwards) is
|
|
straight and sombre, and faces a misty ocean. Red trails are seen
|
|
like cataracts of rust streaming under the dark-green foliage of
|
|
bushes and creepers clothing the low cliffs. Swampy plains open
|
|
out at the mouth of rivers, with a view of jagged blue peaks beyond
|
|
the vast forests. In the offing a chain of islands, dark, crumbling
|
|
shapes, stand out in the everlasting sunlit haze like the remnants of
|
|
a wall breached by the sea.
|
|
|
|
'There is a village of fisher-folk at the mouth of the Batu Kring
|
|
branch of the estuary. The river, which had been closed so long, was
|
|
open then, and Stein's little schooner, in which I had my passage,
|
|
worked her way up in three tides without being exposed to a fusil-
|
|
lade from "irresponsive parties." Such a state of affairs belonged
|
|
already to ancient history, if I could believe the elderly headman of
|
|
the fishing village, who came on board to act as a sort of pilot.
|
|
He talked to me (the second white man he had ever seen) with
|
|
confidence, and most of his talk was about the first white man he
|
|
had ever seen. He called him Tuan Jim and the tone of his refer-
|
|
ences was made remarkable by a strange mixture of familiarity and
|
|
awe. They, in the village, were under that lord's special protection,
|
|
which showed that Jim bore no grudge. If he had warned me that
|
|
I would hear of him it was perfectly true. I was hearing of him.
|
|
There was already a story that the tide had turned two hours before
|
|
its time to help him on his journey up the river. The talkative
|
|
old man himself had steered the canoe and had marvelled at the
|
|
phenomenon. Moreover, all the glory was in his family. His son
|
|
and his son-in-law had paddled; but they were only youths without
|
|
experience, who did not notice the speed of the canoe till he pointed
|
|
out to them the amazing fact.
|
|
|
|
'Jim's coming to that fishing village was a blessing; but to them,
|
|
as to many of us, the blessing came heralded by terrors. So many
|
|
generations had been released since the last white man had visited
|
|
the river that the very tradition had been lost. The appearance of
|
|
the being that descended upon them and demanded inflexibly to be
|
|
taken up to Patusan was discomposing; his insistence was alarming;
|
|
his generosity more than suspicious. It was an unheard-of request.
|
|
There was no precedent. What would the Rajah say to this? What
|
|
would he do to them? The best part of the night was spent in
|
|
consultation; but the immediate risk from the anger of that strange
|
|
man seemed so great that at last a cranky dug-out was got ready.
|
|
The women shrieked with grief as it put off. A fearless old hag
|
|
cursed the stranger.
|
|
|
|
'He sat in it, as I've told you, on his tin box, nursing the unloaded
|
|
revolver on his lap. He sat with precaution -- than which there is
|
|
nothing more fatiguing -- and thus entered the land he was destined
|
|
to fill with the fame of his virtues, from the blue peaks inland to
|
|
the white ribbon of surf on the coast. At the first bend he lost sight
|
|
of the sea with its labouring waves for ever rising, sinking, and
|
|
vanishing to rise again -- the very image of struggling mankind --
|
|
and faced the immovable forests rooted deep in the soil, soaring
|
|
towards the sunshine, everlasting in the shadowy might of their
|
|
tradition, like life itself. And his opportunity sat veiled by his side
|
|
like an Eastern bride waiting to be uncovered by the hand of the
|
|
master. He too was the heir of a shadowy and mighty tradition! He
|
|
told me, however, that he had never in his life felt so depressed and
|
|
tired as in that canoe. All the movement he dared to allow himself
|
|
was to reach, as it were by stealth, after the shell of half a cocoa-nut
|
|
floating between his shoes, and bale some of the water out with a
|
|
carefully restrained action. He discovered how hard the lid of a
|
|
block-tin case was to sit upon. He had heroic health; but several
|
|
times during that journey he experienced fits of giddiness, and
|
|
between whiles he speculated hazily as to the size of the blister the
|
|
sun was raising on his back. For amusement he tried by looking
|
|
ahead to decide whether the muddy object he saw lying on the
|
|
water's edge was a log of wood or an alligator. Only very soon he
|
|
had to give that up. No fun in it. Always alligator. One of them
|
|
flopped into the river and all but capsized the canoe. But this excite-
|
|
ment was over directly. Then in a long empty reach he was very
|
|
grateful to a troop of monkeys who came right down on the bank
|
|
and made an insulting hullabaloo on his passage. Such was the way
|
|
in which he was approaching greatness as genuine as any man ever
|
|
achieved. Principally, he longed for sunset; and meantime his three
|
|
paddlers were preparing to put into execution their plan of deliver-
|
|
ing him up to the Rajah.
|
|
|
|
' "I suppose I must have been stupid with fatigue, or perhaps I
|
|
did doze off for a time," he said. The first thing he knew was his
|
|
canoe coming to the bank. He became instantaneously aware of the
|
|
forest having been left behind, of the first houses being visible
|
|
higher up, of a stockade on his left, and of his boatmen leaping
|
|
out together upon a low point of land and taking to their heels.
|
|
Instinctively he leaped out after them. At first he thought himself
|
|
deserted for some inconceivable reason, but he heard excited
|
|
shouts, a gate swung open, and a lot of people poured out, making
|
|
towards him. At the same time a boat full of armed men appeared
|
|
on the river and came alongside his empty canoe, thus shutting off
|
|
his retreat.
|
|
|
|
' "I was too startled to be quite cool -- don't you know? and if
|
|
that revolver had been loaded I would have shot somebody -- per-
|
|
haps two, three bodies, and that would have been the end of me.
|
|
But it wasn't...." "Why not?" I asked. "Well, I couldn't fight
|
|
the whole population, and I wasn't coming to them as if I were
|
|
afraid of my life," he said, with just a faint hint of his stubborn
|
|
sulkiness in the glance he gave me. I refrained from pointing out to
|
|
him that they could not have known the chambers were actually
|
|
empty. He had to satisfy himself in his own way.... "Anyhow it
|
|
wasn't," he repeated good-humouredly, "and so I just stood still
|
|
and asked them what was the matter. That seemed to strike them
|
|
dumb. I saw some of these thieves going off with my box. That
|
|
long-legged old scoundrel Kassim (I'll show him to you to-morrow)
|
|
ran out fussing to me about the Rajah wanting to see me. I said,
|
|
'All right.' I too wanted to see the Rajah, and I simply walked in
|
|
through the gate and -- and -- here I am." He laughed, and then
|
|
with unexpected emphasis, "And do you know what's the best in
|
|
it?" he asked. "I'll tell you. It's the knowledge that had I been
|
|
wiped out it is this place that would have been the loser."
|
|
|
|
'He spoke thus to me before his house on that evening I've men-
|
|
tioned -- after we had watched the moon float away above the chasm
|
|
between the hills like an ascending spirit out of a grave; its sheen
|
|
descended, cold and pale, like the ghost of dead sunlight. There is
|
|
something haunting in the light of the moon; it has all the dispas-
|
|
sionateness of a disembodied soul, and something of its inconceiv-
|
|
able mystery. It is to our sunshine, which -- say what you like -- is
|
|
all we have to live by, what the echo is to the sound: misleading and
|
|
confusing whether the note be mocking or sad. It robs all forms of
|
|
matter -- which, after all, is our domain -- of their substance, and
|
|
gives a sinister reality to shadows alone. And the shadows were very
|
|
real around us, but Jim by my side looked very stalwart, as though
|
|
nothing -- not even the occult power of moonlight -- could rob him
|
|
of his reality in my eyes. Perhaps, indeed, nothing could touch him
|
|
since he had survived the assault of the dark powers. All was silent,
|
|
all was still; even on the river the moonbeams slept as on a pool.
|
|
It was the moment of high water, a moment of immobility that
|
|
accentuated the utter isolation of this lost corner of the earth. The
|
|
houses crowding along the wide shining sweep without ripple or
|
|
glitter, stepping into the water in a line of jostling, vague, grey,
|
|
silvery forms mingled with black masses of shadow, were like a
|
|
spectral herd of shapeless creatures pressing forward to drink in a
|
|
spectral and lifeless stream. Here and there a red gleam twinkled
|
|
within the bamboo walls, warm, like a living spark, significant of
|
|
human affections, of shelter, of repose.
|
|
|
|
'He confessed to me that he often watched these tiny warm gleams
|
|
go out one by one, that he loved to see people go to sleep under his
|
|
eyes, confident in the security of to-morrow. "Peaceful here, eh?"
|
|
he asked. He was not eloquent, but there was a deep meaning in
|
|
the words that followed. "Look at these houses; there's not one
|
|
where I am not trusted. Jove! I told you I would hang on. Ask
|
|
any man, woman, or child . . ." He paused. "Well, I am all right
|
|
anyhow."
|
|
|
|
'I observed quickly that he had found that out in the end. I had
|
|
been sure of it, I added. He shook his head. "Were you?" He
|
|
pressed my arm lightly above the elbow. "Well, then -- you were
|
|
right."
|
|
|
|
'There was elation and pride, there was awe almost, in that low
|
|
exclamation. "Jove!" he cried, "only think what it is to me." Again
|
|
he pressed my arm. "And you asked me whether I thought of
|
|
leaving. Good God! I! want to leave! Especially now after what you
|
|
told me of Mr. Stein's . . . Leave! Why! That's what I was afraid
|
|
of. It would have been -- it would have been harder than dying.
|
|
No -- on my word. Don't laugh. I must feel -- every day, every time
|
|
I open my eyes -- that I am trusted -- that nobody has a right -- don't
|
|
you know? Leave! For where? What for? To get what?"
|
|
|
|
'I had told him (indeed it was the main object of my visit) that it
|
|
was Stein's intention to present him at once with the house and the
|
|
stock of trading goods, on certain easy conditions which would
|
|
make the transaction perfectly regular and valid. He began to snort
|
|
and plunge at first. "Confound your delicacy!" I shouted. "It isn't
|
|
Stein at all. It's giving you what you had made for yourself. And in
|
|
any case keep your remarks for McNeil -- when you meet him in
|
|
the other world. I hope it won't happen soon...." He had to give
|
|
in to my arguments, because all his conquests, the trust, the fame,
|
|
the friendships, the love -- all these things that made him master
|
|
had made him a captive too. He looked with an owner's eye at the
|
|
peace of the evening, at the river, at the houses, at the everlasting
|
|
life of the forests, at the life of the old mankind, at the secrets of
|
|
the land, at the pride of his own heart; but it was they that possessed
|
|
him and made him their own to the innermost thought, to the
|
|
slightest stir of blood, to his last breath.
|
|
|
|
'It was something to be proud of. I too was proud -- for him, if
|
|
not so certain of the fabulous value of the bargain. It was wonderful.
|
|
It was not so much of his fearlessness that I thought. It is strange
|
|
how little account I took of it: as if it had been something too
|
|
conventional to be at the root of the matter. No. I was more struck
|
|
by the other gifts he had displayed. He had proved his grasp of
|
|
the unfamiliar situation, his intellectual alertness in that field of
|
|
thought. There was his readiness too! Amazing. And all this had
|
|
come to him in a manner like keen scent to a well-bred hound. He
|
|
was not eloquent, but there was a dignity in this constitutional
|
|
reticence, there was a high seriousness in his stammerings. He had
|
|
still his old trick of stubborn blushing. Now and then, though, a
|
|
word, a sentence, would escape him that showed how deeply, how
|
|
solemnly, he felt about that work which had given him the certitude
|
|
of rehabilitation. That is why he seemed to love the land and the
|
|
people with a sort of fierce egoism, with a contemptuous tender-
|
|
ness.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 25
|
|
|
|
' "This is where I was prisoner for three days," he murmured to
|
|
me (it was on the occasion of our visit to the Rajah), while we
|
|
were making our way slowly through a kind of awestruck riot of
|
|
dependants across Tunku Allang's courtyard. "Filthy place, isn't
|
|
it? And I couldn't get anything to eat either, unless I made a row
|
|
about it, and then it was only a small plate of rice and a fried fish
|
|
not much bigger than a stickleback -- confound them! Jove! I've
|
|
been hungry prowling inside this stinking enclosure with some of
|
|
these vagabonds shoving their mugs right under my nose. I had
|
|
given up that famous revolver of yours at the first demand. Glad to
|
|
get rid of the bally thing. Looked like a fool walking about with an
|
|
empty shooting-iron in my hand." At that moment we came into
|
|
the presence, and he became unflinchingly grave and complimen-
|
|
tary with his late captor. Oh! magnificent! I want to laugh when I
|
|
think of it. But I was impressed too. The old disreputable Tunku
|
|
Allang could not help showing his fear (he was no hero, for all the
|
|
tales of his hot youth he was fond of telling); and at the same time
|
|
there was a wistful confidence in his manner towards his late pris-
|
|
oner. Note! Even where he would be most hated he was still trusted.
|
|
Jim -- as far as I could follow the conversation -- was improving the
|
|
occasion by the delivery of a lecture. Some poor villagers had been
|
|
waylaid and robbed while on their way to Doramin's house with a
|
|
few pieces of gum or beeswax which they wished to exchange for
|
|
rice. "It was Doramin who was a thief," burst out the Rajah. A
|
|
shaking fury seemed to enter that old frail body. He writhed weirdly
|
|
on his mat, gesticulating with his hands and feet, tossing the tangled
|
|
strings of his mop -- an impotent incarnation of rage. There were
|
|
staring eyes and dropping jaws all around us. Jim began to speak.
|
|
Resolutely, coolly, and for some time he enlarged upon the text that
|
|
no man should be prevented from getting his food and his children's
|
|
food honestly. The other sat like a tailor at his board, one palm on
|
|
each knee, his head low, and fixing Jim through the grey hair that
|
|
fell over his very eyes. When Jim had done there was a great still-
|
|
ness. Nobody seemed to breathe even; no one made a sound till the
|
|
old Rajah sighed faintly, and looking up, with a toss of his head,
|
|
said quickly, "You hear, my people! No more of these little
|
|
games." This decree was received in profound silence. A rather
|
|
heavy man, evidently in a position of confidence, with intelligent
|
|
eyes, a bony, broad, very dark face, and a cheerily of ficious manner
|
|
(I learned later on he was the executioner), presented to us two cups
|
|
of coffee on a brass tray, which he took from the hands of an inferior
|
|
attendant. "You needn't drink," muttered Jim very rapidly. I
|
|
didn't perceive the meaning at first, and only looked at him. He
|
|
took a good sip and sat composedly, holding the saucer in his left
|
|
hand. In a moment I felt excessively annoyed. "Why the devil," I
|
|
whispered, smiling at him amiably, "do you expose me to such a
|
|
stupid risk?" I drank, of course, there was nothing for it, while he
|
|
gave no sign, and almost immediately afterwards we took our leave.
|
|
While we were going down the courtyard to our boat, escorted by
|
|
the intelligent and cheery executioner, Jim said he was very sorry.
|
|
It was the barest chance, of course. Personally he thought nothing
|
|
of poison. The remotest chance. He was -- he assured me -- con-
|
|
sidered to be infinitely more useful than dangerous, and so . . .
|
|
"But the Rajah is afraid of you abominably. Anybody can see that,"
|
|
I argued with, I own, a certain peevishness, and all the time watch-
|
|
ing anxiously for the first twist of some sort of ghastly colic. I was
|
|
awfully disgusted. "If I am to do any good here and preserve my
|
|
position," he said, taking his seat by my side in the boat, "I must
|
|
stand the risk: I take it once every month, at least. Many people
|
|
trust me to do that -- for them. Afraid of me! That's just it. Most
|
|
likely he is afraid of me because I am not afraid of his coffee." Then
|
|
showing me a place on the north front of the stockade where the
|
|
pointed tops of several stakes were broken, "This is where I leaped
|
|
over on my third day in Patusan. They haven't put new stakes there
|
|
yet. Good leap, eh?" A moment later we passed the mouth of a
|
|
muddy creek. "This is my second leap. I had a bit of a run and
|
|
took this one flying, but fell short. Thought I would leave my skin
|
|
there. Lost my shoes struggling. And all the time I was thinking to
|
|
myself how beastly it would be to get a jab with a bally long spear
|
|
while sticking in the mud like this. I remember how sick I felt
|
|
wriggling in that slime. I mean really sick -- as if I had bitten some-
|
|
thing rotten."
|
|
|
|
'That's how it was -- and the opportunity ran by his side, leaped
|
|
over the gap, floundered in the mud . . . still veiled. The unexpect-
|
|
edness of his coming was the only thing, you understand, that saved
|
|
him from being at once dispatched with krisses and flung into the
|
|
river. They had him, but it was like getting hold of an apparition,
|
|
a wraith, a portent. What did it mean? What to do with it? Was it
|
|
too late to conciliate him? Hadn't he better be killed without more
|
|
delay? But what would happen then? Wretched old Allang went
|
|
nearly mad with apprehension and through the difficulty of making
|
|
up his mind. Several times the council was broken up, and the
|
|
advisers made a break helter-skelter for the door and out on to the
|
|
verandah. One -- it is said -- even jumped down to the ground --
|
|
fifteen feet, I should judge -- and broke his leg. The royai governor
|
|
of Patusan had bizarre mannerisms, and one of them was to intro-
|
|
duce boastful rhapsodies into every arduous discussion, when, get-
|
|
ting gradually excited, he would end by flying off his perch with a
|
|
kriss in his hand. But, barring such interruptions, the deliberations
|
|
upon Jim's fate went on night and day.
|
|
|
|
'Meanwhile he wandered about the courtyard, shunned by some,
|
|
glared at by others, but watched by all, and practically at the mercy
|
|
of the first casuai ragamuffin with a chopper, in there. He took
|
|
possession of a small tumble-down shed to sleep in; the effluvia of
|
|
filth and rotten matter incommoded him greatly: it seems he had
|
|
not lost his appetite though, because -- he told me -- he had been
|
|
hungry all the blessed time. Now and again "some fussy ass"
|
|
deputed from the council-room would come out running to him,
|
|
and in honeyed tones would administer amazing interrogatories:
|
|
"Were the Dutch coming to take the country? Would the white
|
|
man like to go back down the river? What was the object of coming
|
|
to such a miserable country? The Rajah wanted to know whether
|
|
the white man could repair a watch?" They did actually bring out
|
|
to him a nickel clock of New England make, and out of sheer
|
|
unbearable boredom he busied himseif in trying to get the alarum
|
|
to work. It was apparently when thus occupied in his shed that the
|
|
true perception of his extreme peril dawned upon him. He dropped
|
|
the thing -- he says -- "like a hot potato," and walked out hastily,
|
|
without the slightest idea of what he would, or indeed could, do. He
|
|
only knew that the position was intolerable. He strolled aimlessly
|
|
beyond a sort of ramshackle little granary on posts, and his eyes fell
|
|
on the broken stakes of the palisade; and then -- he says -- at once,
|
|
without any mental process as it were, without any stir of emotion,
|
|
he set about his escape as if executing a plan matured for a month.
|
|
He walked off carelessly to give himself a good run, and when
|
|
he faced about there was some dignitary, with two spearmen in
|
|
attendance, close at his elbow ready with a question. He started off
|
|
"from under his very nose," went over "like a bird," and landed
|
|
on the other side with a fall that jarred all his bones and seemed to
|
|
split his head. He picked himself up instantly. He never thought of
|
|
anything at the time; all he could remember -- he said -- was a great
|
|
yell; the first houses of Patusan were before him four hundred yards
|
|
away; he saw the creek, and as it were mechanically put on more
|
|
pace. The earth seemed fairly to fly backwards under his feet. He
|
|
took off from the last dry spot, felt himseif flying through the air,
|
|
felt himself, without any shock, planted upright in an extremely
|
|
soft and sticky mudbank. It was only when he tried to move his
|
|
legs and found he couldn't that, in his own words, "he came to
|
|
himself." He began to think of the "bally long spears." As a matter
|
|
of fact, considering that the people inside the stockade had to run
|
|
to the gate, then get down to the landing-place, get into boats, and
|
|
pull round a point of land, he had more advance than he imagined.
|
|
Besides, it being low water, the creek was without water -- you
|
|
couldn't call it dry -- and practically he was safe for a time from
|
|
everything but a very long shot perhaps. The higher firm ground
|
|
was about six feet in front of him. "I thought I would have to die
|
|
there all the same," he said. He reached and grabbed desperately
|
|
with his hands, and only succeeded in gathering a horrible cold
|
|
shiny heap of slime against his breast -- up to his very chin. It seemed
|
|
to him he was burying himself alive, and then he struck out madly,
|
|
scattering the mud with his fists. It fell on his head, on his face,
|
|
over his eyes, into his mouth. He told me that he remembered
|
|
suddenly the courtyard, as you remember a place where you had
|
|
been very happy years ago. He longed -- so he said -- to be back
|
|
there again, mending the clock. Mending the clock -- that was the
|
|
idea. He made efforts, tremendous sobbing, gasping efforts, efforts
|
|
that seemed to burst his eyeballs in their sockets and make him
|
|
blind, and culminating into one mighty supreme effort in the dark-
|
|
ness to crack the earth asunder, to throw it off his limbs -- and he
|
|
felt himself creeping feebly up the bank. He lay full length on the
|
|
firm ground and saw the light, the sky. Then as a sort of happy
|
|
thought the notion came to him that he would go to sleep. He will
|
|
have it that he did actually go to sleep; that he slept -- perhaps for a
|
|
minute, perhaps for twenty seconds, or only for one second, but he
|
|
recollects distinctly the violent convulsive start of awakening. He
|
|
remained lying still for a while, and then he arose muddy from
|
|
head to foot and stood there, thinking he was alone of his kind for
|
|
hundreds of miles, alone, with no help, no sympathy, no pity to
|
|
expect from any one, like a hunted animal. The first houses were
|
|
not more than twenty yards from him; and it was the desperate
|
|
screaming of a frightened woman trying to carry off a child that
|
|
started him again. He pelted straight on in his socks, beplastered
|
|
with filth out of all semblance to a human being. He traversed more
|
|
than half the length of the settlement. The nimbler women fled
|
|
right and left, the slower men just dropped whatever they had in
|
|
their hands, and remained petrified with dropping jaws. He was a
|
|
flying terror. He says he noticed the little children trying to run for
|
|
life, falling on their little stomachs and kicking. He swerved
|
|
between two houses up a slope, clambered in desperation over a
|
|
barricade of felled trees (there wasn't a week without some fight in
|
|
Patusan at that time), burst through a fence into a maize-patch,
|
|
where a scared boy flung a stick at him, blundered upon a path,
|
|
and ran all at once into the arms of several startled men. He just had
|
|
breath enough to gasp out, "Doramin! Doramin!" He remembers
|
|
being half-carried, half-rushed to the top of the slope, and in a vast
|
|
enclosure with palms and fruit trees being run up to a large man
|
|
sitting massively in a chair in the midst of the greatest possible
|
|
commotion and excitement. He fumbled in mud and clothes to
|
|
produce the ring, and, finding himseif suddenly on his back, won-
|
|
dered who had knocked him down. They had simply let him go --
|
|
don't you know? -- but he couldn't stand. At the foot of the slope
|
|
random shots were fired, and above the roofs of the settlement there
|
|
rose a dull roar of amazement. But he was safe. Doramin's people
|
|
were barricading the gate and pouring water down his throat; Dora-
|
|
min's old wife, full of business and commiseration, was issuing
|
|
shrill orders to her girls. "The old woman," he said softly, "made
|
|
a to-do over me as if I had been her own son. They put me into an
|
|
immense bed -- her state bed -- and she ran in and out wiping her
|
|
eyes to give me pats on the back. I must have been a pitiful object.
|
|
I just lay there like a log for I don't know how long."
|
|
|
|
'He seemed to have a great liking for Doramin's old wife. She on
|
|
her side had taken a motherly fancy to him. She had a round, nut-
|
|
brown, soft face, all fine wrinkles, large, bright red lips (she chewed
|
|
betel assiduously), and screwed up, winking, benevolent eyes. She
|
|
was constantly in movement, scolding busily and ordering unceas-
|
|
ingly a troop of young women with clear brown faces and big grave
|
|
eyes, her daughters, her servants, her slave-girls. You know how it
|
|
is in these households: it's generally impossible to tell the differ-
|
|
ence. She was very spare, and even her ample outer garment, fast-
|
|
ened in front with jewelled clasps, had somehow a skimpy effect.
|
|
Her dark bare feet were thrust into yellow straw slippers of Chinese
|
|
make. I have seen her myself flitting about with her extremely thick,
|
|
long, grey hair falling about her shoulders. She uttered homely
|
|
shrewd sayings, was of noble birth, and was eccentric and arbitrary.
|
|
In the afternoon she would sit in a very roomy arm-chair, opposite
|
|
her husband, gazing steadily through a wide opening in the wall
|
|
which gave an extensive view of the settlement and the river.
|
|
|
|
'She invariably tucked up her feet under her, but old Doramin
|
|
sat squarely, sat imposingly as a mountain sits on a plain. He was
|
|
only of the nakhoda or merchant class, but the respect shown to
|
|
him and the dignity of his bearing were very striking. He was the
|
|
chief of the second power in Patusan. The immigrants from Celebes
|
|
(about sixty families that, with dependants and so on, could muster
|
|
some two hundred men "wearing the kriss") had elected him years
|
|
ago for their head. The men of that race are intelligent, enterprising,
|
|
revengeful, but with a more frank courage than the other Malays,
|
|
and restless under oppression. They formed the party opposed to
|
|
the Rajah. Of course the quarrels were for trade. This was the
|
|
primary cause of faction fights, of the sudden outbreaks that would
|
|
fill this or that part of the settlement with smoke, flame, the noise
|
|
of shots and shrieks. Villages were burnt, men were dragged into
|
|
the Rajah's stockade to be killed or tortured for the crime of trading
|
|
with anybody else but himself. Only a day or two before Jim's
|
|
arrival several heads of households in the very fishing village that
|
|
was afterwards taken under his especial protection had been driven
|
|
over the cliffs by a party of the Rajah's spearmen, on suspicion of
|
|
having been collecting edible birds' nests for a Celebes trader. Rajah
|
|
Allang pretended to be the only trader in his country, and the
|
|
penalty for the breach of the monopoly was death; but his idea of
|
|
trading was indistinguishable from the commonest forms of rob-
|
|
bery. His cruelty and rapacity had no other bounds than his coward-
|
|
ice, and he was afraid of the organised power of the Celebes men,
|
|
only -- till Jim came -- he was not afraid enough to keep quiet. He
|
|
struck at them through his subjects, and thought himself patheti-
|
|
cally in the right. The situation was complicated by a wandering
|
|
stranger, an Arab half-breed, who, I believe, on purely religious
|
|
grounds, had incited the tribes in the interior (the bush-folk, as Jim
|
|
himself called them) to rise, and had established himself in a forti-
|
|
fied camp on the summit of one of the twin hills. He hung over the
|
|
town of Patusan like a hawk over a poultry-yard, but he devastated
|
|
the open country. Whole villages, deserted, rotted on their black-
|
|
ened posts over the banks of clear streams, dropping piecemeal into
|
|
the water the grass of their walls, the leaves of their roofs, with a
|
|
curious effect of natural decay as if they had been a form of veg-
|
|
etation stricken by a blight at its very root. The two parties in
|
|
Patusan were not sure which one this partisan most desired to plun-
|
|
der. The Rajah intrigued with him feebly. Some of the Bugis set-
|
|
tlers, weary with endless insecurity, were half inclined to call him
|
|
in. The younger spirits amongst them, chaffing, advised to "get
|
|
Sherif Ali with his wild men and drive the Rajah Allang out of
|
|
the country." Doramin restrained them with difficulty. He was
|
|
growing old, and, though his influence had not diminished, the
|
|
situation was getting beyond him. This was the state of affairs when
|
|
Jim, bolting from the Rajah's stockade, appeared before the chief
|
|
of the Bugis, produced the ring, and was received, in a manner of
|
|
speaking, into the heart of the community.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 26
|
|
|
|
'Doramin was one of the most remarkable men of his race I had
|
|
ever seen. His bulk for a Malay was immense, but he did not look
|
|
merely fat; he looked imposing, monumental. This motionless
|
|
body, clad in rich stuffs, coloured silks, gold embroideries; this
|
|
huge head, enfolded in a red-and-gold headkerchief; the flat, big,
|
|
round face, wrinkled, furrowed, with two semicircular heavy folds
|
|
starting on each side of wide, fierce nostrils, and enclosing a thick-
|
|
lipped mouth; the throat like a bull; the vast corrugated brow over-
|
|
hanging the staring proud eyes -- made a whole that, once seen, can
|
|
never be forgotten. His impassive repose (he seldom stirred a limb
|
|
when once he sat down) was like a display of dignity. He was never
|
|
known to raise his voice. It was a hoarse and powerful murmur,
|
|
slightly veiled as if heard from a distance. When he walked, two
|
|
short, sturdy young fellows, naked to the waist, in white sarongs
|
|
and with black skull-caps on the backs of their heads, sustained his
|
|
elbows; they would ease him down and stand behind his chair till
|
|
he wanted to rise, when he would turn his head slowly, as if with
|
|
difficulty, to the right and to the left, and then they would catch
|
|
him under his armpits and help him up. For all that, there was
|
|
nothing of a cripple about him: on the contrary, all his ponderous
|
|
movements were like manifestations of a mighty deliberate force.
|
|
It was generally believed he consulted his wife as to public affairs;
|
|
but nobody, as far as I know, had ever heard them exchange a single
|
|
word. When they sat in state by the wide opening it was in silence.
|
|
They could see below them in the declining light the vast expanse
|
|
of the forest country, a dark sleeping sea of sombre green undulating
|
|
as far as the violet and purple range of mountains; the shining
|
|
sinuosity of the river like an immense letter S of beaten silver;
|
|
the brown ribbon of houses following the sweep of both banks,
|
|
overtopped by the twin hills uprising above the nearer tree-tops.
|
|
They were wonderfully contrasted: she, light, delicate, spare,
|
|
quick, a little witch-like, with a touch of motherly fussiness in her
|
|
repose; he, facing her, immense and heavy, like a figure of a man
|
|
roughly fashioned of stone, with something magnanimous and ruth-
|
|
less in his immobility. The son of these old people was a most
|
|
distinguished youth.
|
|
|
|
'They had him late in life. Perhaps he was not really so young as
|
|
he looked. Four- or five-and-twenty is not so young when a man is
|
|
already father of a family at eighteen. When he entered the large
|
|
room, lined and carpeted with fine mats, and with a high ceiling of
|
|
white sheeting, where the couple sat in state surrounded by a most
|
|
deferential retinue, he would make his way straight to Doramin, to
|
|
kiss his hand -- which the other abandoned to him, majestically --
|
|
and then would step across to stand by his mother's chair. I suppose
|
|
I may say they idolised him, but I never caught them giving him an
|
|
overt glance. Those, it is true, were public functions. The room was
|
|
generally thronged. The solemn formality of greetings and leave-
|
|
takings, the profound respect expressed in gestures, on the faces,
|
|
in the low whispers, is simply indescribable. "It's well worth see-
|
|
ing," Jim had assured me while we were crossing the river, on our
|
|
way back. "They are like people in a book, aren't they?" he said
|
|
triumphantly. "And Dain Waris -- their son -- is the best friend
|
|
(barring you) I ever had. What Mr. Stein would call a good 'war-
|
|
comrade.' I was in luck. Jove! I was in luck when I tumbled amongst
|
|
them at my last gasp." He meditated with bowed head, then rousing
|
|
himself he added --
|
|
|
|
' "Of course I didn't go to sleep over it, but . . ." He paused
|
|
again. "It seemed to come to me," he murmured. "All at once I
|
|
saw what I had to do . . ."
|
|
|
|
'There was no doubt that it had come to him; and it had come
|
|
through war, too, as is natural, since this power that came to him
|
|
was the power to make peace. It is in this sense alone that mught so
|
|
often is right. You must not think he had seen his way at once.
|
|
When he arrived the Bugis community was in a most critical posi-
|
|
tion. "They were all afraid," he said to me -- "each man afraid for
|
|
himself; while I could see as plain as possible that they must do
|
|
something at once, if they did not want to go under one after
|
|
another, what between the Rajah and that vagabond Sherif." But
|
|
to see that was nothing. When he got his idea he had to drive it into
|
|
reluctant minds, through the bulwarks of fear, of selfishness. He
|
|
drove it in at last. And that was nothing. He had to devise the
|
|
means. He devised them -- an audacious plan; and his task was only
|
|
half done. He had to inspire with his own confidence a lot of people
|
|
who had hidden and absurd reasons to hang back; he had to concili-
|
|
ate imbecile jealousies, and argue away all sorts of senseless mis-
|
|
trusts. Without the weight of Doramin's authority, and his son's
|
|
fiery enthusiasm, he would have failed. Dain Waris, the dis-
|
|
tinguished youth, was the first to believe in him; theirs was one of
|
|
those strange, profound, rare friendships between brown and
|
|
white, in which the very difference of race seems to draw two human
|
|
beings closer by some mystic element of sympathy. Of Dain Waris,
|
|
his own people said with pride that he knew how to fight like a
|
|
white man. This was true; he had that sort of courage -- the courage
|
|
in the open, I may say -- but he had also a European mind. You
|
|
meet them sometimes like that, and are surprised to discover unex-
|
|
pectedly a familiar turn of thought, an unobscured vision, a tenacity
|
|
of purpose, a touch of altruism. Of small stature, but admirably
|
|
well proportioned, Dain Waris had a proud carriage, a polished,
|
|
easy bearing, a temperament like a clear flame. His dusky face, with
|
|
big black eyes, was in action expressive, and in repose thoughtful.
|
|
He was of a silent disposition; a firm glance, an ironic smile, a
|
|
courteous deliberation of manner seemed to hint at great reserves
|
|
of intelligence and power. Such beings open to the Western eye, so
|
|
often concerned with mere surfaces, the hidden possibilities of races
|
|
and lands over which hangs the mystery of unrecorded ages. He
|
|
not only trusted Jim, he understood him, I firmly believe. I speak
|
|
of him because he had captivated me. His -- if I may say so -- his
|
|
caustic placidity, and, at the same time, his intelligent sympathy
|
|
with Jim's aspirations, appealed to me. I seemed to behold the very
|
|
origin of friendship. If Jim took the lead, the other had captivated
|
|
his leader. In fact, Jim the leader was a captive in every sense. The
|
|
land, the people, the friendship, the love, were like the jealous
|
|
guardians of his body. Every day added a link to the fetters of that
|
|
strange freedom. I felt convinced of it, as from day to day I learned
|
|
more of the story.
|
|
|
|
'The story! Haven't I heard the story? I've heard it on the march,
|
|
in camp (he made me scour the country after invisible game); I've
|
|
listened to a good part of it on one of the twin summits, after
|
|
climbing the last hundred feet or so on my hands and knees. Our
|
|
escort (we had volunteer followers from village to village) had
|
|
camped meantime on a bit of level ground half-way up the slope,
|
|
and in the still breathless evening the smell of wood-smoke reached
|
|
our nostrils from below with the penetrating delicacy of some choice
|
|
scent. Voices also ascended, wonderful in their distinct and imma-
|
|
terial clearness. Jim sat on the trunk of a felled tree, and pulling
|
|
out his pipe began to smoke. A new growth of grass and bushes was
|
|
springing up; there were traces of an earthwork under a mass of
|
|
thorny twigs. "It all started from here," he said, after a long and
|
|
medltative silence. On the other hill, two hundred yards across a
|
|
sombre precipice, I saw a line of high blackened stakes, showing
|
|
here and there ruinously -- the remnants of Sherif Ali's impregnable
|
|
camp.
|
|
|
|
'But it had been taken, though. That had been his idea. He had
|
|
mounted Doramin's old ordnance on the top of that hill; two rusty
|
|
iron 7-pounders, a lot of small brass cannon -- currency cannon.
|
|
But if the brass guns represent wealth, they can also, when crammed
|
|
recklessly to the muzzle, send a solid shot to some litde distance.
|
|
The thing was to get them up there. He showed me where he had
|
|
fastened the cables, explained how he had improvised a rude cap-
|
|
stan out of a hollowed log turning upon a pointed stake, indicated
|
|
with the bowl of his pipe the outline of the earthwork. The last
|
|
hundred feet of the ascent had been the most difficult. He had made
|
|
himself responsible for success on his own head. He had induced
|
|
the war party to work hard all night. Big fires lighted at intervals
|
|
blazed all down the slope, "but up here," he explained, "the hoist-
|
|
ing gang had to fly around in the dark. " From the top he saw men
|
|
moving on the hillside like ants at work. He himself on that night
|
|
had kept on rushing down and climbing up like a squirrel, directing,
|
|
encouraging, watching all along the line. Old Doramin had himself
|
|
carried up the hill in his arm-chair. They put him down on the level
|
|
place upon the slope, and he sat there in the light of one of the big
|
|
fires -- "amazing old chap -- real old chieftain," said Jim, "with his
|
|
little fierce eyes -- a pair of immense flintlock pistols on his knees.
|
|
Magnificent things, ebony, silver-mounted, with beautiful locks
|
|
and a calibre like an old blunderbuss. A present from Stein, it
|
|
seems -- in exchange for that ring, you know. Used to belong to
|
|
good old McNeil. God only knows how he came by them. There he
|
|
sat, moving neither hand nor foot, a flame of dry brushwood behind
|
|
him, and lots of people rushing about, shouting and pulling round
|
|
him -- the most solemn, imposing old chap you can imagine. He
|
|
wouldn't have had much chance if Sherif Ali had let his infernal
|
|
crew loose at us and stampeded my lot. Eh? Anyhow, he had come
|
|
up there to die if anything went wrong. No mistake! Jove! It thrilled
|
|
me to see him there -- like a rock. But the Sherif must have thought
|
|
us mad, and never troubled to come and see how we got on. Nobody
|
|
believed it could be done. Why! I think the very chaps who pulled
|
|
and shoved and sweated over it did not believe it could be done!
|
|
Upon my word I don't think they did...."
|
|
|
|
'He stood erect, the smouldering brier-wood in his clutch, with
|
|
a smile on his lips and a sparkle in his boyish eyes. I sat on the
|
|
stump of a tree at his feet, and below us stretched the land, the
|
|
great expanse of the forests, sombre under the sunshine, rolling like
|
|
a sea, with glints of winding rivers, the grey spots of villages, and
|
|
here and there a clearing, like an islet of light amongst the dark
|
|
waves of continuous tree-tops. A brooding gloom lay over this vast
|
|
and monotonous landscape; the light fell on it as if into an abyss.
|
|
The land devoured the sunshine; only far off, along the coast, the
|
|
empty ocean, smooth and polished within the faint haze, seemed to
|
|
rise up to the sky in a wall of steel.
|
|
|
|
'And there I was with him, high in the sunshine on the top of
|
|
that historic hill of his. He dominated the forest, the secular doom,
|
|
the old mankind. He was like a figure set up on a pedestal, to
|
|
represent in his persistent youth the power, and perhaps the virtues,
|
|
of races that never grow old, that have emerged from the gloom. I
|
|
don't know why he should always have appeared to me symbolic.
|
|
Perhaps this is the real cause of my interest in his fate. I don't know
|
|
whether it was exactly fair to him to remember the incident which
|
|
had given a new direction to his life, but at that very moment I
|
|
remembered very distinctly. It was like a shadow in the light.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 27
|
|
|
|
'Already the legend had gifted him with supernatural powers.
|
|
Yes, it was said, there had been many ropes cunningly disposed,
|
|
and a strange contrivance that turned by the efforts of many men,
|
|
and each gun went up tearing slowly through the bushes, like a wild
|
|
pig rooting its way in the undergrowth, but . . . and the wisest
|
|
shook their heads. There was something occult in all this, no doubt;
|
|
for what is the strength of ropes and of men's arms? There is a
|
|
rebellious soul in things which must be overcome by powerful
|
|
charms and incantations. Thus old Sura -- a very respectable house-
|
|
holder of Patusan -- with whom I had a quiet chat one evening.
|
|
However, Sura was a professional sorcerer also, who attended all
|
|
the rice sowings and reapings for miles around for the purpose of
|
|
subduing the stubborn souls of things. This occupation he seemed
|
|
to think a most arduous one, and perhaps the souls of things are
|
|
more stubborn than the souls of men. As to the simple folk of
|
|
outlying villages, they believed and said (as the most natural thing
|
|
in the world) that Jim had carried the guns up the hill on his back --
|
|
two at a time.
|
|
|
|
'This would make Jim stamp his foot in vexation and exclaim
|
|
with an exasperated little laugh, "What can you do with such silly
|
|
beggars? They will sit up half the night talking bally rot, and the
|
|
greater the lie the more they seem to like it." You could trace the
|
|
subtle influence of his surroundings in this irritation. lt was part of
|
|
his captivity. The earnestness of his denials was amusing, and at
|
|
last I said, "My dear fellow, you don't suppose I believe this." He
|
|
looked at me quite startled. "Well, no! I suppose not," he said, and
|
|
burst into a Homeric peal of laughter. "Well, anyhow the guns were
|
|
there, and went off all together at sunrise. Jove! You should have
|
|
seen the splinters fly," he cried. By his side Dain Waris, listening
|
|
with a quiet smile, dropped his eyelids and shuffled his feet a little.
|
|
It appears that the success in mounting the guns had given Jim's
|
|
people such a feeling of confidence that he ventured to leave the
|
|
battery under charge of two elderly Bugis who had seen some fight-
|
|
ing in their day, and went to join Dain Waris and the storming party
|
|
who were concealed in the ravine. In the small hours they began
|
|
creeping up, and when two-thirds of the way up, lay in the wet
|
|
grass waiting for the appearance of the sun, which was the agreed
|
|
signal. He told me with what impatient anguishing emotion he
|
|
watched the swift coming of the dawn; how, heated with the work
|
|
and the climbing, he felt the cold dew chilling his very bones; how
|
|
afraid he was he would begin to shiver and shake like a leaf before
|
|
the time came for the advance. "It was the slowest half-hour in my
|
|
life," he declared. Gradually the silent stockade came out on the
|
|
sky above him. Men scattered all down the slope were crouching
|
|
amongst the dark stones and dripping bushes. Dain Waris was lying
|
|
flattened by his side. "We looked at each other," Jim said, resting
|
|
a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "He smiled ar me as cheery
|
|
as you please, and I dared not stir my lips for fear I would break
|
|
out into a shivering fit. 'Pon my word, it's true! I had been streaming
|
|
with perspiration when we took cover -- so you may imagine . . ."
|
|
He declared, and I believe him, that he had no fears as to the result.
|
|
He was only anxious as to his ability to repress these shivers. He
|
|
didn't bother about the result. He was bound to get to the top of
|
|
that hill and stay there, whatever might happen. There could be no
|
|
going back for him. Those people had trusted him implicitly. Him
|
|
alone! His bare word....
|
|
|
|
'I remember how, at this point, he paused with his eyes fixed
|
|
upon me. "As far as he knew, they never had an occasion to regret
|
|
it yet," he said. "Never. He hoped to God they never would. Mean-
|
|
time -- worse luck! -- they had got into the habit of taking his word
|
|
for anything and everything. I could have no idea! Why, only the
|
|
other day an old fool he had never seen in his life came from some
|
|
village miles away to find out if he should divorce his wife. Fact.
|
|
Solemn word. That's the sort of thing. . . He wouldn't have
|
|
believed it. Would I? Squatted on the verandah chewing betel-nut,
|
|
sighing and spitting all over the place for more than an hour, and
|
|
as glum as an undertaker before he came out with that dashed
|
|
conundrum. That's the kind of thing that isn't so funny as it looks.
|
|
What was a fellow to say? -- Good wife? -- Yes. Good wife -- old
|
|
though. Started a confounded long story about some brass pots.
|
|
Been living together for fifteen years -- twenty years -- could not tell.
|
|
A long, long time. Good wife. Beat her a little -- not much -- just a
|
|
little, when she was young. Had to -- for the sake of his honour.
|
|
Suddenly in her old age she goes and lends three brass pots to her
|
|
sister's son's wife, and begins to abuse him every day in a loud
|
|
voice. His enemies jeered at him; his face was utterly blackened.
|
|
Pots totally lost. Awfully cut up about it. Impossible to fathom a
|
|
story like that; told him to go home, and promised to come along
|
|
myself and settle it all. It's all very well to grin, but it was the
|
|
dashedest nuisance! A day's journey through the forest, another
|
|
day lost in coaxing a lot of silly villagers to get at the rights of the
|
|
affair. There was the making of a sanguinary shindy in the thing.
|
|
Every bally idiot took sides with one family or the other, and one
|
|
half of the village was ready to go for the other half with anything
|
|
that came handy . Honour bright! No joke! . . . Instead of attending
|
|
to their bally crops. Got him the infernal pots back of course --
|
|
and pacified all hands. No trouble to settle it. Of course not. Could
|
|
settle the deadliest quarrel in the country by crooking his little
|
|
finger. The trouble was to get at the truth of anything. Was not
|
|
sure to this day whether he had been fair to all parties. It worried
|
|
him. And the talk! Jove! There didn't seem to be any head or tail
|
|
to it. Rather storm a twenty-foot-high old stockade any day. Much!
|
|
Child's play to that other job. Wouldn't take so long either. Well,
|
|
yes; a funny set out, upon the whole -- the fool looked old enough
|
|
to be his grandfather. But from another point of view it was no
|
|
joke. His word decided everything -- ever since the smashing of
|
|
Sherif Ali. An awful responsibility," he repeated. "No, really --
|
|
joking apart, had it been three lives instead of three rotten brass
|
|
pots it would have been the same...."
|
|
|
|
'Thus he illustrated the moral effect of his victory in war. It was
|
|
in truth immense. It had led him from strife to peace, and through
|
|
death into the innermost life of the people; but the gloom of the
|
|
land spread out under the sunshine preserved its appearance of
|
|
inscrutable, of secular repose. The sound of his fresh young voice --
|
|
it's extraordinary how very few signs of wear he showed -- floated
|
|
lightly, and passed away over the unchanged face of the forests like
|
|
the sound of the big guns on that cold dewy morning when he had
|
|
no other concern on earth but the proper control of the chills in his
|
|
body. With the first slant of sun-rays along these immovable tree-
|
|
tops the summit of one hill wreathed itself, with heavy reports, in
|
|
white clouds of smoke, and the other burst into an amazing noise
|
|
of yells, war-cries, shouts of anger, of surprise, of dismay. Jim and
|
|
Dain Waris were the first to lay their hands on the stakes. The
|
|
popular story has it that Jim with a touch of one finger had thrown
|
|
down the gate. He was, of course, anxious to disclaim this achieve-
|
|
ment. The whole stockade -- he would insist on explaining to you --
|
|
was a poor affair (Sherif Ali wsted mainly to the inaccessible posi-
|
|
tion); and, anyway, the thing had been already knocked to pieces
|
|
and only hung together by a miracle. He put his shoulder to it like
|
|
a little fool and went in head over heels. Jove! If it hadn't been for
|
|
Dain Waris, a pock-marked tattooed vagabond would have pinned
|
|
him with his spear to a baulk of timber like one of Stein's beetles.
|
|
The third man in, it seems, had been Tamb' Itam, Jim's own ser-
|
|
vant. This was a Malay from the north, a stranger who had wand-
|
|
ered into Patusan, and had been forcibly detained by Rajah Allang
|
|
as paddler of one of the state boats. He had made a bolt of it at the
|
|
first opportunity, and finding a precarious refuge (but very little to
|
|
eat) amongst the Bugis settlers, had attached himself to Jim's per-
|
|
son. His complexion was very dark, his face flat, his eyes prominent
|
|
and injected with bile. There was something excessive, almost fana-
|
|
tical, in his devotion to his "white lord." He was inseparable from
|
|
Jim like a morose shadow. On state occasions he would tread on his
|
|
master's heels, one hand on the haft of his kriss, keeping the com-
|
|
mon people at a distance by his truculent brooding glances. Jim
|
|
had made him the headman of his establishment, and all Patusan
|
|
respected and courted him as a person of much influence. At the
|
|
taking of the stockade he had distinguished himself greatly by the
|
|
methodical ferocity of his fighting. The storming party had come
|
|
on so quick -- Jim said -- that notwithstanding the panic of the
|
|
garrison, there was a "hot five minutes hand-to-hand inside that
|
|
stockade, till some bally ass set fire to the shelters of boughs and
|
|
dry grass, and we all had to clear out for dear life."
|
|
|
|
'The rout, it seems, had been complete. Doramin, waiting
|
|
immovably in his chair on the hillside, with the smoke of the guns
|
|
spreading slowly above his big head, received the news with a deep
|
|
grunt. When informed that his son was safe and leading the pursuit,
|
|
he, without another sound, made a mighty effort to rise; his atten-
|
|
dants hurried to his help, and, held up reverently, he shuffled with
|
|
great dignity into a bit of shade, where he laid himself down to
|
|
sleep, covered entirely with a piece of white sheeting. In Patusan
|
|
the excitement was intense. Jim told me that from the hill, turning
|
|
his back on the stockade with its embers, black ashes, and half-
|
|
consumed corpses, he could see time after time the open spaces
|
|
between the houses on both sides of the stream fill suddenly with a
|
|
seething rush of people and get empty in a moment. His ears caught
|
|
feebly from below the tremendous din of gongs and drums; the wild
|
|
shouts of the crowd reached him in bursts of faint roaring. A lot of
|
|
streamers made a flutter as of little white, red, yellow birds amongst
|
|
the brown ridges of roofs. "You must have enjoyed it," I mur-
|
|
mured, feeling the stir of sympathetic emotion.
|
|
|
|
' "It was . . . it was immense! Immense!" he cried aloud, flinging
|
|
his arms open. The sudden movement startled me as though I had
|
|
seen him bare the secrets of his breast to the sunshine, to the brood-
|
|
ing forests, to the steely sea. Below us the town reposed in easy
|
|
curves upon the banks of a stream whose current seemed to sleep.
|
|
"Immense!" he repeated for a third time, speaking in a whisper,
|
|
for himself alone.
|
|
|
|
'Immense! No doubt it was immense; the seal of success upon
|
|
his words, the conquered ground for the soles of his feet, the blind
|
|
trust of men, the belief in himself snatched from the fire, the soli-
|
|
tude of his achievement. All this, as I've warned you, gets dwarfed
|
|
in the telling. I can't with mere words convey to you the impression
|
|
of his total and utter isolation. I know, of course, he was in every
|
|
sense alone of his kind there, but the unsuspected qualities of his
|
|
nature had brought him in such close touch with his surroundings
|
|
that this isolation seemed only the effect of his power. His loneliness
|
|
added to his stature. There was nothing within sight to compare
|
|
him with, as though he had been one of those exceptional men who
|
|
can be only measured by the greatness of their fame; and his fame,
|
|
remember, was the greatest thing around for many a day's journey.
|
|
You would have to paddle, pole, or track a long weary way through
|
|
the jungle before you passed beyond the reach of its voice. Its voice
|
|
was not the trumpeting of the disreputable goddess we all know --
|
|
not blatant -- not brazen. It took its tone from the stillness and
|
|
gloom of the land without a past, where his word was the one truth
|
|
of every passing day. It shared something of the nature of that
|
|
silence through which it accompanied you into unexplored depths,
|
|
heard continuously by your side, penetrating, far-reaching -- tinged
|
|
with wonder and mystery on the lips of whispering men.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 28
|
|
|
|
'The defeated Sherif Ali fled the country without making another
|
|
stand, and when the miserable hunted villagers began to crawl out
|
|
of the jungle back to their rotting houses, it was Jim who, in consul-
|
|
tation with Dain Waris, appointed the headmen. Thus he became
|
|
the virtual ruler of the land. As to old Tunku Allang, his fears at
|
|
first had known no bounds. It is said that at the intelligence of the
|
|
successful storming of the hill he flung himself, face down, on the
|
|
bamboo floor of his audience-hall, and lay motionless for a whole
|
|
night and a whole day, uttering stifled sounds of such an appalling
|
|
nature that no man dared approach his prostrate form nearer than
|
|
a spear's length. Already he could see himself driven ignominiously
|
|
out of Patusan, wandering, abandoned, stripped, without opium,
|
|
without his women, without followers, a fair game for the first
|
|
comer to kill. After Sherif Ali his turn would come, and who could
|
|
resist an attack led by such a devil? And indeed he owed his life and
|
|
such authority as he still possessed at the time of my visit to Jim's
|
|
idea of what was fair alone. The Bugis had been extremely anxious
|
|
to pay off old scores, and the impassive old Doramin cherished the
|
|
hope of yet seeing his son ruler of Patusan. During one of our
|
|
interviews he deliberately allowed me to get a glimpse of this secret
|
|
ambition. Nothing could be finer in its way than the dignified wari-
|
|
ness of his approaches. He himself -- he began by declaring -- had
|
|
used his strength in his young days, but now he had grown old and
|
|
tired.... With his imposing bulk and haughty little eyes darting
|
|
sagacious, inquisitive glances, he reminded one irresistibly of a
|
|
cunning old elephant; the slow rise and fall of his vast breast went
|
|
on powerful and regular, like the heave of a calm sea. He too, as he
|
|
protested, had an unbounded confidence in Tuan Jim's wisdom. If
|
|
he could only obtain a promise! One word would be enough! . . .
|
|
His breathing silences, the low rumblings of his voice, recalled the
|
|
last efforts of a spent thunderstorm.
|
|
|
|
'I tried to put the subject aside. It was difficult, for there could
|
|
be no question that Jim had the power; in his new sphere there did
|
|
not seem to be anything that was not his to hold or to give. But
|
|
that, I repeat, was nothing in comparison with the notion, which
|
|
occurred to me, while I listened with a show of attention, that he
|
|
seemed to have come very near at last to mastering his fate. Doramin
|
|
was anxious about the future of the country, and I was struck by
|
|
the turn he gave to the argument. The land remains where God had
|
|
put it; but white men -- he said -- they come to us and in a little
|
|
while they go. They go away. Those they leave behind do not know
|
|
when to look for their return. They go to their own land, to their
|
|
people, and so this white man too would.... I don't know what
|
|
induced me to commit myself at this point by a vigorous "No,
|
|
no." The whole extent of this indiscretion became apparent when
|
|
Doramin, turning full upon me his face, whose expression, fixed in
|
|
rugged deep folds, remained unalterable, like a huge brown mask,
|
|
said that this was good news indeed, reflectively; and then wanted
|
|
to know why.
|
|
|
|
'His little, motherly witch of a wife sat on my other hand, with
|
|
her head covered and her feet tucked up, gazing through the great
|
|
shutter-hole. I could only see a straying lock of grey hair, a high
|
|
cheek-bone, the slight masticating motion of the sharp chin. With-
|
|
out removing her eyes from the vast prospect of forests stretching
|
|
as far as the hills, she asked me in a pitying voice why was it that
|
|
he so young had wandered from his home, coming so far, through
|
|
so many dangers? Had he no household there, no kinsmen in his
|
|
own country? Had he no old mother, who would always remember
|
|
his face? . . .
|
|
|
|
'I was completely unprepared for this. I could only mutter and
|
|
shake my head vaguely. Afterwards I am perfectly aware I cut a
|
|
very poor figure trying to extricate myself out of this difficulty.
|
|
From that moment, however, the old nakhoda became taciturn. He
|
|
was not very pleased, I fear, and evidently I had given him food for
|
|
thought. Strangely enough, on the evening of that very day (which
|
|
was my last in Patusan) I was once more confronted with the same
|
|
question, with the unanswerable why of Jim's fate. And this brings
|
|
me to the story of his love.
|
|
|
|
'I suppose you think it is a story that you can imagine for your-
|
|
selves. We have heard so many such stories, and the majority of us
|
|
don't believe them to be stories of love at all. For the most part we
|
|
look upon them as stories of opportunities: episodes of passion at
|
|
best, or perhaps only of youth and temptation, doomed to forgetful-
|
|
ness in the end, even if they pass through the reality of tenderness
|
|
and regret. This view mostly is right, and perhaps in this case
|
|
too.... Yet I don't know. To tell this story is by no means so easy
|
|
as it should be -- were the ordinary standpoint adequate. Apparently
|
|
it is a story very much like the others: for me, however, there is
|
|
visible in its background the melancholy figure of a woman, the
|
|
shadow of a cruel wisdom buried in a lonely grave, looking on
|
|
wistfully, helplessly, with sealed lips. The grave itself, as I came
|
|
upon it during an early morning stroll, was a rather shapeless brown
|
|
mound, with an inlaid neat border of white lumps of coral at the
|
|
base, and enclosed within a circular fence made of split saplings,
|
|
with the bark left on. A garland of leaves and flowers was woven
|
|
about the heads of the slender posts -- and the flowers were fresh.
|
|
|
|
'Thus, whether the shadow is of my imagination or not, I can at
|
|
all events point out the significant fact of an unforgotten grave.
|
|
When I tell you besides that Jim with his own hands had worked
|
|
at the rustic fence, you will perceive directly the difference, the
|
|
individual side of the story. There is in his espousal of memory and
|
|
affection belonging to another human being something character-
|
|
istic of his seriousness. He had a conscience, and it was a romantic
|
|
conscience. Through her whole life the wife of the unspeakable
|
|
Cornelius had no other companion, confidant, and friend but her
|
|
daughter. How the poor woman had come to marry the awful little
|
|
Malacca Portuguese -- after the separation from the father of her
|
|
girl -- and how that separation had been brought about, whether by
|
|
death, which can be sometimes merciful, or by the merciless press-
|
|
ure of conventions, is a mystery to me. From the little which Stein
|
|
(who knew so many stories) had let drop in my hearing, I am con-
|
|
vinced that she was no ordinary woman. Her own father had been
|
|
a white; a high official; one of the brilliantly endowed men who are
|
|
not dull enough to nurse a success, and whose careers so often
|
|
end under a cloud. I suppose she too must have lacked the saving
|
|
dullness -- and her career ended in Patusan. Our common fate . . .
|
|
for where is the man -- I mean a real sentient man -- who does not
|
|
remember vaguely having been deserted in the fullness of pos-
|
|
session by some one or something more precious than life? . . . our
|
|
common fate fastens upon the women with a peculiar cruelty. It
|
|
does not punish like a master, but inflicts lingering torment, as
|
|
if to gratify a secret, unappeasable spite. One would think that,
|
|
appointed to rule on earth, it seeks to revenge itself upon the beings
|
|
that come nearest to rising above the trammels of earthly caution;
|
|
for it is only women who manage to put at times into their love an
|
|
element just palpable enough to give one a fright -- an extra-terres-
|
|
trial touch. I ask myself with wonder -- how the world can look to
|
|
them -- whether it has the shape and substance we know, the air we
|
|
breathe! Sometimes I fancy it must be a region of unreasonable
|
|
sublimities seething with the excitement of their adventurous souls,
|
|
lighted by the glory of all possible risks and renunciations. How-
|
|
ever, I suspect there are very few women in the world, though of
|
|
course I am aware of the multitudes of mankind and of the equality
|
|
of sexes -- in point of numbers, that is. But I am sure that the mother
|
|
was as much of a woman as the daughter seemed to be. I cannot
|
|
help picturing to myself these two, at first the young woman and
|
|
the child, then the old woman and the young girl, the awful same-
|
|
ness and the swift passage of time, the barrier of forest, the solitude
|
|
and the turmoil round these two lonely lives, and every word spoken
|
|
between them penetrated with sad meaning. There must have been
|
|
confidences, not so much of fact, I suppose, as of innermost feel-
|
|
ings -- regrets -- fears -- warnings, no doubt: warnings that the
|
|
younger did not fully understand till the elder was dead -- and Jim
|
|
came along. Then I am sure she understood much -- not everything --
|
|
the fear mostly, it seems. Jim called her by a word that means
|
|
precious, in the sense of a precious gem -- jewel. Pretty, isn't it? But
|
|
he was capable of anything. He was equal to his fortune, as he --
|
|
after all -- must have beeen equal to his misfortune. Jewel he called
|
|
her; and he would say this as he might have said "Jane," don't you
|
|
know -- with a marital, homelike, peaceful effect. I heard the name
|
|
for the first time ten minutes after I had landed in his courtyard,
|
|
when, after nearly shaking my arm off, he darted up the steps and
|
|
began to make a joyous, boyish disturbance at the door under the
|
|
heavy eaves. "Jewel! O Jewel! Quick! Here's a friend come," . . .
|
|
and suddenly peering at me in the dim verandah, he mumbled
|
|
earnestly, "You know -- this -- no confounded nonsense about it --
|
|
can't tell you how much I owe to her -- and so -- you understand --
|
|
I -- exactly as if . . " His hurried, anxious whispers were cut short
|
|
by the flitting of a white form within the house, a faint exclamation,
|
|
and a child-like but energetic little face with delicate features and a
|
|
profound, attentive glance peeped out of the inner gloom, like a
|
|
bird out of the recess of a nest. I was struck by the name, of course;
|
|
but it was not till later on that I connected it with an astonishing
|
|
rumour that had met me on my journey, at a little place on the coast
|
|
about 230 miles south of Patusan River. Stein's schooner, in which
|
|
I had my passage, put in there, to collect some produce, and, going
|
|
ashore, I found to my great surprise that the wretched locality could
|
|
boast of a third-class deputy-assistant resident, a big, fat, greasy,
|
|
blinking fellow of mixed descent, with turned-out, shiny lips. I
|
|
found him lying extended on his back in a cane chair, odiously
|
|
unbuttoned, with a large green leaf of some sort on the top of his
|
|
steaming head, and another in his hand which he used lazily as a
|
|
fan . . . Going to Patusan? Oh yes. Stein's Trading Company. He
|
|
knew. Had a permission? No business of his. It was not so bad there
|
|
now, he remarked negligently, and, he went on drawling, "There's
|
|
some sort of white vagabond has got in there, I hear.... Eh? What
|
|
you say? Friend of yours? So! . . . Then it was true there was one
|
|
of these verdammte -- What was he up to? Found his way in, the
|
|
rascal. Eh? I had not been sure. Patusan -- they cut throats there --
|
|
no business of ours." He interrupted himself to groan. "Phoo!
|
|
Almighty! The heat! The heat! Well, then, there might be some-
|
|
thing in the story too, after all, and . . ." He shut one of his beastly
|
|
glassy eyes (the eyelid went on quivering) while he leered at me
|
|
atrociously with the other. "Look here," says he mysteriously, "if --
|
|
do you understand? -- if he has really got hold of something fairly
|
|
good -- none of your bits of green glass -- understand? -- I am a
|
|
Government official -- you tell the rascal . . . Eh? What? Friend of
|
|
yours?" . . . He continued wallowing calmly in the chair . . . "You
|
|
said so; that's just it; and I am pleased to give you the hint. I suppose
|
|
you too would like to get something out of it? Don't interrupt. You
|
|
just tell him I've heard the tale, but to my Government I have made
|
|
no report. Not yet. See? Why make a report? Eh? Tell him to come
|
|
to me if they let him get alive out of the country. He had better look
|
|
out for himself. Eh? I promise to ask no questions. On the quiet --
|
|
you understand? You too -- you shall get something from me. Small
|
|
commission for the trouble. Don't interrupt. I am a Government
|
|
official, and make no report. That's business. Understand? I know
|
|
some good people that will buy anything worth having, and can
|
|
give him more money than the scoundrel ever saw in his life. I know
|
|
his sort." He fixed me steadfastly with both his eyes open, while I
|
|
stood over him utterly amazed, and asking myself whether he was
|
|
mad or drunk. He perspired, puffed, moaning feebly, and scratch-
|
|
ing himself with such horrible composure that I could not bear the
|
|
sight long enough to find out. Next day, talking casually with the
|
|
people of the little native court of the place, I discovered that a story
|
|
was travelling slowly down the coast about a mysterious white man
|
|
in Patusan who had got hold of an extraordinary gem -- namely, an
|
|
emerald of an enormous size, and altogether priceless. The emerald
|
|
seems to appeal more to the Eastern imagination than any other
|
|
precious stone. The white man had obtained it, I was told, partly
|
|
by the exercise of his wonderful strength and partly by cunning,
|
|
from the ruler of a distant country, whence he had fled instantly,
|
|
arriving in Patusan in utmost distress, but frightening the people
|
|
by his extreme ferocity, which nothing seemed able to subdue. Most
|
|
of my informants were of the opinion that the stone was probably
|
|
unlucky, -- like the famous stone of the Sultan of Succadana,
|
|
which in the old times had brought wars and untold calamities upon
|
|
that country. Perhaps it was the same stone -- one couldn't say.
|
|
Indeed the story of a fabulously large emerald is as old as the arrival
|
|
of the first white men in the Archipelago; and the belief in it is so
|
|
persistent that less than forty years ago there had been an official
|
|
Dutch inquiry into the truth of it. Such a jewel -- it was explained
|
|
to me by the old fellow from whom I heard most of this amazing
|
|
Jim-myth -- a sort of scribe to the wretched little Rajah of the place; --
|
|
such a jewel, he said, cocking his poor purblind eyes up at me (he
|
|
was sitting on the cabin floor out of respect), is best preserved by
|
|
being concealed about the person of a woman. Yet it is not every
|
|
woman that would do. She must be young -- he sighed deeply -- and
|
|
insensible to the seductions of love. He shook his head sceptically.
|
|
But such a woman seemed to be actually in existence. He had been
|
|
told of a tall girl, whom the white man treated with great respect
|
|
and care, and who never went forth from the house unattended.
|
|
People said the white man could be seen with her almost any day;
|
|
they walked side by side, openly, he holding her arm under his --
|
|
pressed to his side -- thus -- in a most extraordinary way. This might
|
|
be a lie, he conceded, for it was indeed a strange thing for any one
|
|
to do: on the other hand, there could be no doubt she wore the
|
|
white man's jewel concealed upon her bosom.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 29
|
|
|
|
'This was the theory of Jim's marital evening walks. I made a
|
|
third on more than one occasion, unpleasantly aware every time of
|
|
Cornelius, who nursed the aggrieved sense of his legal paternity,
|
|
slinking in the neighbourhood with that peculiar twist of his mouth
|
|
as if he were perpetually on the point of gnashing his teeth. But do
|
|
you notice how, three hundred miles beyond the end of telegraph
|
|
cables and mail-boat lines, the haggard utilitarian lies of our civilisa-
|
|
tion wither and die, to be replaced by pure exercises of imagination,
|
|
that have the futility, often the charm, and sometimes the deep
|
|
hidden truthfulness, of works of art? Romance had singled Jim for
|
|
its own -- and that was the true part of the story, which otherwise
|
|
was all wrong. He did not hide his jewel. In fact, he was extremely
|
|
proud of it.
|
|
|
|
'It comes to me now that I had, on the whole, seen very little of
|
|
her. What I remember best is the even, olive pallor of her com-
|
|
plexion, and the intense blue-black gleams of her hair, flowing
|
|
abundantly from under a small crimson cap she wore far back on her
|
|
shapely head. Her movements were free, assured, and she blushed a
|
|
dusky red. While Jim and I were talking, she would come and go
|
|
with rapid glances at us, leaving on her passage an impression of
|
|
grace and charm and a distinct suggestion of watchfulness. Her
|
|
manner presented a curious combination of shyness and audacity.
|
|
Every pretty smile was succeeded swiftly by a look of silent,
|
|
repressed anxiety, as if put to flight by the recollection of some
|
|
abiding danger. At times she would sit down with us and, with her
|
|
soft cheek dimpled by the knuckles of her little hand, she would
|
|
listen to our talk; her big clear eyes would remain fastened on our
|
|
lips, as though each pronounced word had a visible shape. Her
|
|
mother had taught her to read and write; she had learned a good
|
|
bit of English from Jim, and she spoke it most amusingly, with his
|
|
own clipping, boyish intonation. Her tenderness hovered over him
|
|
like a flutter of wings. She lived so completely in his contemplation
|
|
that she had acquired something of his outward aspect, something
|
|
that recalled him in her movements, in the way she stretched her
|
|
arm, turned her head, directed her glances. Her vigilant affection
|
|
had an intensity that made it almost perceptible to the senses; it
|
|
seemed actually to exist in the ambient matter of space, to envelop
|
|
him like a peculiar fragrance, to dwell in the sunshine like a tremu-
|
|
lous, subdued, and impassioned note. I suppose you think that I
|
|
too am romantic, but it is a mistake. I am relating to you the sober
|
|
impressions of a bit of youth, of a strange uneasy romance that had
|
|
come in my way. I observed with interest the work of his -- well --
|
|
good fortune. He was jealously loved, but why she should be jeal-
|
|
ous, and of what, I could not tell. The land, the people, the forests
|
|
were her accomplices, guarding him with vigilant accord, with an
|
|
air of seclusion, of mystery, of invincible possession. There was no
|
|
appeal, as it were; he was imprisoned within the very freedom of
|
|
his power, and she, though ready to make a footstool of her head
|
|
for his feet, guarded her conquest inflexibly -- as though he were
|
|
hard to keep. The very Tamb' Itam, marching on our journeys upon
|
|
the heels of his white lord, with his head thrown back, truculent
|
|
and be-weaponed like a janissary, with kriss, chopper, and lance
|
|
(besides carrying Jim's gun); even Tamb' Itam allowed himself to
|
|
put on the airs of uncompromising guardianship, like a surly
|
|
devoted jailer ready to lay down his life for his captive. On the
|
|
evenings when we sat up late, his silent, indistinct form would pass
|
|
and repass under the verandah, with noiseless footsteps, or lifting
|
|
my head I would unexpectedly make him out standing rigidly erect
|
|
in the shadow. As a general rule he would vanish after a time,
|
|
without a sound; but when we rose he would spring up close to us
|
|
as if from the ground, ready for any orders Jim might wish to give.
|
|
The girl too, I believe, never went to sleep till we had separated for
|
|
the night. More than once I saw her and Jim through the window
|
|
of my room come out together quietly and lean on the rough balus-
|
|
trade -- two white forms very close, his arm about her waist, her
|
|
head on his shoulder. Their soft murmurs reached me, penetrating,
|
|
tender, with a calm sad note in the stillness of the night, like a self-
|
|
communion of one being carried on in two tones. Later on, tossing
|
|
on my bed under the mosquito-net, I was sure to hear slight creak-
|
|
ings, faint breathing, a throat cleared cautiously -- and I would know
|
|
that Tamb' Itam was still on the prowl. Though he had (by the
|
|
favour of the white lord) a house in the compound, had "taken
|
|
wife," and had lately been blessed with a child, I believe that,
|
|
during my stay at all events, he slept on the verandah every night.
|
|
It was very difficult to make this faithful and grim retainer talk.
|
|
Even Jim himself was answered in jerky short sentences, under
|
|
protest as it were. Talking, he seemed to imply, was no business of
|
|
his. The longest speech I heard him volunteer was one morning
|
|
when, suddenly extending his hand towards the courtyard, he
|
|
pointed at Cornelius and said, "Here comes the Nazarene." I don't
|
|
think he was addressing me, though I stood at his side; his object
|
|
seemed rather to awaken the indignant attention of the universe.
|
|
Some muttered allusions, which followed, to dogs and the smell of
|
|
roast-meat, struck me as singularly felicitous. The courtyard, a
|
|
large square space, was one torrid blaze of sunshine, and, bathed
|
|
in intense light, Cornelius was creeping across in full view with an
|
|
inexpressible effect of stealthiness, of dark and secret slinking. He
|
|
reminded one of everything that is unsavoury. His slow laborious
|
|
walk resembled the creeping of a repulsive beetle, the legs alone
|
|
moving with horrid industry while the body glided evenly. I sup-
|
|
pose he made straight enough for the place where he wanted to
|
|
get to, but his progress with one shoulder carried forward seemed
|
|
oblique. He was often seen circling slowly amongst the sheds, as if
|
|
following a scent; passing before the verandah with upward stealthy
|
|
glances; disappearing without haste round the corner of some hut.
|
|
That he seemed free of the place demonstrated Jim's absurd care-
|
|
lessness or else his infinite disdain, for Cornelius had played a very
|
|
dubious part (to say the least of it) in a certain episode which might
|
|
have ended fatally for Jim. As a matter of fact, it had redounded to
|
|
his glory. But everything redounded to his glory; and it was the
|
|
irony of his good fortune that he, who had been too careful of it
|
|
once, seemed to bear a charmed life.
|
|
|
|
'You must know he had left Doramin's place very soon after his
|
|
arrival -- much too soon, in fact, for his safety, and of course a long
|
|
time before the war. In this he was actuated by a sense of duty; he
|
|
had to look after Stein's business, he said. Hadn't he? To that end,
|
|
with an utter disregard of his personal safety, he crossed the river
|
|
and took up his quarters with Cornelius. How the latter had man-
|
|
aged to exist through the troubled times I can't say. As Stein's
|
|
agent, after all, he must have had Doramin's protection in a meas-
|
|
ure; and in one way or another he had managed to wriggle through
|
|
all the deadly complications, while I have no doubt that his conduct,
|
|
whatever line he was forced to take, was marked by that abjectness
|
|
which was like the stamp of the man. That was his characteristic;
|
|
he was fundamentally and outwardly abject, as other men are mark-
|
|
edly of a generous, distinguished, or venerable appearance. It was
|
|
the element of his nature which permeated all his acts and passions
|
|
and emotions; he raged abjectly, smiled abjectly, was abjectly sad;
|
|
his civilities and his indignations were alike abject. I am sure his
|
|
love would have been the most abject of sentiments -- but can one
|
|
imagine a loathsome insect in love? And his loathsomeness, too,
|
|
was abject, so that a simply disgusting person would have appeared
|
|
noble by his side. He has his place neither in the background nor
|
|
in the foreground of the story; he is simply seen skulking on its
|
|
outskirts, enigmatical and unclean, tainting the fragrance of its
|
|
youth and of its naiveness.
|
|
|
|
'His position in any case could not have been other than extremely
|
|
miserable, yet it may very well be that he found some advantages
|
|
in it. Jim told me he had been received at first with an abject display
|
|
of the most amicable sentiments. "The fellow apparently couldn't
|
|
contain himself for joy," said Jim with disgust. "He flew at me
|
|
every morning to shake both my hands -- confound him! -- but I
|
|
could never tell whether there would be any breakfast. If I got three
|
|
meals in two days I considered myself jolly lucky, and he made me
|
|
sign a chit for ten dollars every week. Said he was sure Mr. Stein
|
|
did not mean him to keep me for nothing. Well -- he kept me on
|
|
nothing as near as possible. Put it down to the unsettled state of the
|
|
country, and made as if to tear his hair out, begging my pardon
|
|
twenty times a day, so that I had at last to entreat him not to worry.
|
|
It made me sick. Half the roof of his house had fallen in, and the
|
|
whole place had a mangy look, with wisps of dry grass sticking out
|
|
and the corners of broken mats flapping on every wall. He did his
|
|
best to make out that Mr. Stein owed him money on the last three
|
|
years' trading, but his books were all torn, and some were missing.
|
|
He tried to hint it was his late wife's fault. Disgusting scoundrel!
|
|
At last I had to forbid him to mention his late wife at all. It made
|
|
Jewel cry. I couldn't discover what became of all the trade-goods;
|
|
there was nothing in the store but rats, having a high old time
|
|
amongst a litter of brown paper and old sacking. I was assured on
|
|
every hand that he had a lot of money buried somewhere, but of
|
|
course could get nothing out of him. It was the most miserable
|
|
existence I led there in that wretched house. I tried to do my duty
|
|
by Stein, but I had also other matters to think of. When I escaped
|
|
to Doramin old Tunku Allang got frightened and returned all my
|
|
things. It was done in a roundabout way, and with no end of
|
|
mystery, through a Chinaman who keeps a small shop here; but as
|
|
soon as I left the Bugis quarter and went to live with Cornelius it
|
|
began to be said openly that the Rajah had made up his mind to
|
|
have me killed before long. Pleasant, wasn't it? And I couldn't see
|
|
what there was to prevent him if he really had made up his mind.
|
|
The worst of it was, I couldn't help feeling I wasn't doing any good
|
|
either for Stein or for myself. Oh! it was beastly -- the whole six
|
|
weeks of it." '
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 30
|
|
|
|
'He told me further that he didn't know what made him hang
|
|
on -- but of course we may guess. He sympathised deeply with the
|
|
defenceless girl, at the mercy of that "mean, cowardly scoundrel."
|
|
It appears Cornelius led her an awful life, stopping only short of
|
|
actual ill-usage, for which he had not the pluck, I suppose. He
|
|
insisted upon her calling him father -- "and with respect too -- with
|
|
respect," he would scream, shaking a little yellow fist in her face.
|
|
"I am a respectable man, and what are you? Tell me -- what are
|
|
you? You think I am going to bring up somebody else's child and
|
|
not be treated with respect? You ought to be glad I let you. Come --
|
|
say Yes, father.... No? ... You wait a bit." Thereupon he would
|
|
begin to abuse the dead woman, till the girl would run off with her
|
|
hands to her head. He pursued her, dashing in and out and round
|
|
the house and amongst the sheds, would drive her into some corner,
|
|
where she would fall on her knees stopping her ears, and then he
|
|
would stand at a distance and declaim filthy denunciations at her
|
|
back for half an hour at a stretch. "Your mother was a devil, a
|
|
deceitful devil -- and you too are a devil," he would shriek in a final
|
|
outburst, pick up a bit of dry earth or a handful of mud (there
|
|
was plenty of mud around the house), and fling it into her hair.
|
|
Sometimes, though, she would hold out full of scorn, confronting
|
|
him in silence, her face sombre and contracted, and only now and
|
|
then uttering a word or two that would make the other jump and
|
|
writhe with the sting. Jim told me these scenes were terrible. It was
|
|
indeed a strange thing to come upon in a wilderness. The endless-
|
|
ness of such a subtly cruel situation was appalling -- if you think of
|
|
it. The respectable Cornelius (Inchi 'Nelyus the Malays called him,
|
|
with a grimace that meant many things) was a much-disappointed
|
|
man. I don't know what he had expected would be done for him in
|
|
consideration of his marriage; but evidently the liberty to steal, and
|
|
embezzle, and appropriate to himself for many years and in any
|
|
way that suited him best, the goods of Stein's Trading Company
|
|
(Stein kept the supply up unfalteringly as long as he could get his
|
|
skippers to take it there) did not seem to him a fair equivalent
|
|
for the sacrifice of his honourable name. Jim would have enjoyed
|
|
exceedingly thrashing Cornelius within an inch of his life; on the
|
|
other hand, the scenes were of so painful a character, so abominable,
|
|
that his impulse would be to get out of earshot, in order to spare
|
|
the girl's feelings. They left her agitated, speechless, clutching her
|
|
bosom now and then with a stony, desperate face, and then Jim
|
|
would lounge up and say unhappily, "Now -- come -- really -- what's
|
|
the use -- you must try to eat a bit," or give some such mark of
|
|
sympathy. Cornelius would keep on slinking through the doorways,
|
|
across the verandah and back again, as mute as a fish, and with
|
|
malevolent, mistrustful, underhand glances. "I can stop his game,"
|
|
Jim said to her once. "Just say the word." And do you know what
|
|
she answered? She said -- Jim told me impressively -- that if she had
|
|
not been sure he was intensely wretched himself, she would have
|
|
found the courage to kill him with her own hands. "Just fancy that!
|
|
The poor devil of a girl, almost a child, being driven to talk like
|
|
that," he exclaimed in horror. It seemed impossible to save her not
|
|
only from that mean rascal but even from herself! It wasn't that he
|
|
pitied her so much, he affirmed; it was more than pity; it was as if
|
|
he had something on his conscience, while that life went on. To
|
|
leave the house would have appeared a base desertion. He had
|
|
understood at last that there was nothing to expect from a longer
|
|
stay, neither accounts nor money, nor truth of any sort, but he
|
|
stayed on, exasperating Cornelius to the verge, I won't say of
|
|
insanity, but almost of courage. Meantime he felt all sorts of dangers
|
|
gathering obscurely about him. Doramin had sent over twice a
|
|
trusty servant to tell him seriously that he could do nothing for his
|
|
safety unless he would recross the river again and live amongst the
|
|
Bugis as at first. People of every condition used to call, often in the
|
|
dead of night, in order to disclose to him plots for his assassination.
|
|
He was to be poisoned. He was to be stabbed in the bath-house.
|
|
Arrangements were being made to have him shot from a boat on
|
|
the river. Each of these informants professed himself to be his very
|
|
good friend. It was enough -- he told me -- to spoil a fellow's rest for
|
|
ever. Something of the kind was extremely possible -- nay, prob-
|
|
able -- but the lying warnings gave him only the sense af deadly
|
|
scheming going on all around him, on all sides, in the dark. Nothing
|
|
more calculated to shake the best of nerve. Finally, one night,
|
|
Cornelius himself, with a great apparatus of alarm and secrecy,
|
|
unfolded in solemn wheedling tones a little plan wherein for one
|
|
hundred dollars -- or even for eighty; let's say eighty -- he, Cornelius,
|
|
would procure a trustworthy man to smuggle Jim out of the river,
|
|
all safe. There was nothing else for it now -- if Jim cared a pin for
|
|
his life. What's eighty dollars? A trifle. An insignificant sum. While
|
|
he, Cornelius, who had to remain behind, was absolutely courting
|
|
death by this proof of devotion to Mr. Stein's young friend. The
|
|
sight of his abject grimacing was -- Jim told me -- very hard to bear:
|
|
he clutched at his hair, beat his breast, rocked himself to and fro
|
|
with his hands pressed to his stomach, and actually pretended to
|
|
shed tears. "Your blood be on your own head," he squeaked at last,
|
|
and rushed out. It is a curious question how far Cornelius was
|
|
sincere in that performance. Jim confessed to me that he did not
|
|
sleep a wink after the fellow had gone. He lay on his back on a thin
|
|
mat spread over the bamboo flooring, trying idly to make out the
|
|
bare rafters, and listening to the rustlings in the torn thatch. A star
|
|
suddenly twinkled through a hole in the roof. His brain was in a
|
|
whirl; but, nevertheless, it was on that very night that he matured
|
|
his plan for overcoming Sherif Ali. It had been the thought of all
|
|
the moments he could spare from the hopeless investigation into
|
|
Stein's affairs, but the notion -- he says -- came to him then all at
|
|
once. He could see, as it were, the guns mounted on the top of the
|
|
hill. He got very hot and excited lying there; sleep was out of the
|
|
question more than ever. He jumped up, and went out barefooted
|
|
on the verandah. Walking silently, he came upon the girl, motion-
|
|
less against the wall, as if on the watch. In his then state of mind it
|
|
did not surprise him to see her up, nor yet to hear her ask in an
|
|
anxious whisper where Cornelius could be. He simply said he did
|
|
not know. She moaned a little, and peered into the campong. Every-
|
|
thing was very quiet. He was possessed by his new idea, and so full
|
|
of it that he could not help telling the girl all about it at once. She
|
|
listened, clapped her hands lightly, whispered softly her admir-
|
|
ation, but was evidently on the alert all the time. It seems he had
|
|
been used to make a confidant of her all along -- and that she on her
|
|
part could and did give him a lot of useful hints as to Patusan affairs
|
|
there is no doubt. He assured me more than once that he had never
|
|
found himself the worse for her advice. At any rate, he was proceed-
|
|
ing to explain his plan fully to her there and then, when she pressed
|
|
his arm once, and vanished from his side. Then Cornelius appeared
|
|
from somewhere, and, perceiving Jim, ducked sideways, as though
|
|
he had been shot at, and afterwards stood very still in the dusk. At
|
|
last he came forward prudently, like a suspicious cat. "There were
|
|
some fishermen there -- with fish," he said in a shaky voice. "To
|
|
sell fish -- you understand." . . . It must have been then two o'clock
|
|
in the morning -- a likely time for anybody to hawk fish about!
|
|
|
|
'Jim, however, let the statement pass, and did not give it a single
|
|
thought. Other matters occupied his mind, and besides he had
|
|
neither seen nor heard anything. He contented himself by saying,
|
|
"Oh!" absently, got a drink of water out of a pitcher standing there,
|
|
and leaving Cornelius a prey to some inexplicable emotion -- that
|
|
made him embrace with both arms the worm-eaten rail of the veran-
|
|
dah as if his legs had failed -- went in again and lay down on his mat
|
|
to think. By-and-by he heard stealthy footsteps. They stopped. A
|
|
voice whispered tremulously through the wall, "Are you asleep?"
|
|
"No! What is it?" he answered briskly, and there was an abrupt
|
|
movement outside, and then all was still, as if the whisperer had
|
|
been startled. Extremely annoyed at this, Jim came out impetu-
|
|
ously, and Cornelius with a faint shriek fled along the verandah as
|
|
far as the steps, where he hung on to the broken banister. Very
|
|
puzzled, Jim called out to him from the distance to know what the
|
|
devil he meant. "Have you given your consideration to what I spoke
|
|
to you about?" asked Cornelius, pronouncing the words with diffi-
|
|
culty, like a man in the cold fit of a fever. "No!" shouted Jim in a
|
|
passion. "I have not, and I don't intend to. I am going to live here,
|
|
in Patusan." "You shall d-d-die h-h-here," answered Cornelius,
|
|
still shaking violently, and in a sort of expiring voice. The whole
|
|
performance was so absurd and provoking that Jim didn't know
|
|
whether he ought to be amused or angry. "Not till I have seen you
|
|
tucked away, you bet," he called out, exasperated yet ready to
|
|
laugh. Half seriously (being excited with his own thoughts, you
|
|
know) he went on shouting, "Nothing can touch me! You can do
|
|
your damnedest." Somehow the shadowy Cornelius far off there
|
|
seemed to be the hateful embodiment of all the annoyances and
|
|
difficulties he had found in his path. He let himself go -- his nerves
|
|
had been over-wrought for days -- and called him many pretty
|
|
names, -- swindler, liar, sorry rascal: in fact, carried on in an extra-
|
|
ordinary way. He admits he passed all bounds, that he was quite
|
|
beside himself -- defied all Patusan to scare him away -- declared he
|
|
would make them all dance to his own tune yet, and so on, in a
|
|
menacing, boasting strain. Perfectly bombastic and ridiculous, he
|
|
said. His ears burned at the bare recollection. Must have been off
|
|
his chump in some way.... The girl, who was sitting with us,
|
|
nodded her little head at me quickly, frowned faintly, and said, "I
|
|
heard him," with child-like solemnity. He laughed and blushed.
|
|
What stopped him at last, he said, was the silence, the complete
|
|
deathlike silence, of the indistinct figure far over there, that seemed
|
|
to hang collapsed, doubled over the rail in a weird immobility.
|
|
He came to his senses, and ceasing suddenly, wondered gready at
|
|
himself. He watched for a while. Not a stir, not a sound. "Exactly
|
|
as if the chap had died while I had been making all that noise," he
|
|
said. He was so ashamed of himself that he went indoors in a hurry
|
|
without another word, and flung himself down again. The row
|
|
seemed to have done him good though, because he went to sleep
|
|
for the rest of the night like a baby. Hadn't slept like that for weeks.
|
|
"But I didn't sleep," struck in the girl, one elbow on the table and
|
|
nursing her cheek. "I watched." Her big eyes flashed, rolling a
|
|
little, and then she fixed them on my face intently.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 31
|
|
|
|
'You may imagine with what interest I listened. All these details
|
|
were perceived to have some significance twenty-four hours later.
|
|
In the morning Cornelius made no allusion to the events of the
|
|
night. "I suppose you will come back to my poor house," he mut-
|
|
tered surlily, slinking up just as Jim was entering the canoe to go
|
|
over to Doramin's campong. Jim only nodded, without looking at
|
|
him. "You find it good fun, no doubt," muttered the other in a
|
|
sour tone. Jim spent the day with the old nakhoda, preaching the
|
|
necessity of vigorous action to the principal men of the Bugis com-
|
|
munity, who had been summoned for a big talk. He remembered
|
|
with pleasure how very eloquent and persuasive he had been. "I
|
|
managed to put some backbone into them that time, and no mis-
|
|
take," he said. Sherif Ali's last raid had swept the outskirts of the
|
|
settlement, and some women belonging to the town had been car-
|
|
ried off to the stockade. Sherif Ali's emissaries had been seen in the
|
|
market-place the day before, strutting about haughtily in white
|
|
cloaks, and boasting of the Rajah's friendship for their master. One
|
|
of them stood forward in the shade of a tree, and, leaning on the
|
|
long barrel of a rifle, exhorted the people to prayer and repentance,
|
|
advising them to kill all the strangers in their midst, some of whom,
|
|
he said, were infidels and others even worse -- children of Satan in
|
|
the guise of Moslems. It was reported that several of the Rajah's
|
|
people amongst the listeners had loudly expressed their appro-
|
|
bation. The terror amongst the common people was intense. Jim,
|
|
immensely pleased with his day's work, crossed the river again
|
|
before sunset.
|
|
|
|
'As he had got the Bugis irretrievably committed to action, and
|
|
had made himself responsible for success on his own head, he was
|
|
so elated that in the lightness of his heart he absolutely tried to be
|
|
civil with Cornelius. But Cornelius became wildly jovial in
|
|
response, and it was almost more than he could stand, he says, to
|
|
hear his little squeaks of false laughter, to see him wriggle and blink,
|
|
and suddenly catch hold of his chin and crouch low over the table
|
|
with a distracted stare. The girl did not show herself, and Jim
|
|
retired early. When he rose to say good-night, Cornelius jumped
|
|
up, knocking his chair over, and ducked out of sight as if to pick
|
|
up something he had dropped. His good-night came huskily from
|
|
under the table. Jim was amazed to see him emerge with a dropping
|
|
jaw, and staring, stupidly frightened eyes. He clutched the edge of
|
|
the table. "What's the matter? Are you unwell?" asked Jim. "Yes,
|
|
yes, yes. A great colic in my stomach," says the other; and it is
|
|
Jim's opinion that it was perfectly true. If so, it was, in view of his
|
|
contemplated action, an abject sign of a still imperfect callousness
|
|
for which he must be given all due credit.
|
|
|
|
'Be it as it may, Jim's slumbers were disturbed by a dream of
|
|
heavens like brass resounding with a great voice, which called upon
|
|
him to Awake! Awake! so loud that, notwithstanding his desperate
|
|
determination to sleep on, he did wake up in reality. The glare of
|
|
a red spluttering conflagration going on in mid-air fell on his eyes.
|
|
Coils of black thick smoke curved round the head of some appar-
|
|
ition, some unearthly being, all in white, with a severe, drawn,
|
|
anxious face. After a second or so he recognised the girl. She was
|
|
holding a dammar torch at arm's-length aloft, and in a persistent,
|
|
urgent monotone she was repeating, "Get up! Get up! Get up!"
|
|
|
|
'Suddenly he leaped to his feet; at once she put into his hand a
|
|
revolver, his own revolver, which had been hanging on a nail, but
|
|
loaded this time. He gripped it in silence, bewildered, blinking in
|
|
the light. He wondered what he could do for her.
|
|
|
|
'She asked rapidly and very low, "Can you face four men with
|
|
this?" He laughed while narrating this part at the recollection of his
|
|
polite alacrity. It seems he made a great display of it. "Certainly --
|
|
of course -- certainly -- command me." He was not properly awake,
|
|
and had a notion of being very civil in these extraordinary circum-
|
|
stances, of showing his unquestioning, devoted readiness. She left
|
|
the room, and he followed her; in the passage they disturbed an old
|
|
hag who did the casual cooking of the household, though she was
|
|
so decrepit as to be hardly able to understand human speech. She
|
|
got up and hobbled behind them, mumbling toothlessly. On the
|
|
verandah a hammock of sail-cloth, belonging to Cornelius, swayed
|
|
lightly to the touch of Jim's elbow. It was empty.
|
|
|
|
'The Patusan establishment, like all the posts of Stein's Trading
|
|
Company, had originally consisted of four buildings. Two of them
|
|
were represented by two heaps of sticks, broken bamboos, rotten
|
|
thatch, over which the four corner-posts of hardwood leaned sadly
|
|
at different angles: the principal storeroom, however, stood yet,
|
|
facing the agent's house. It was an oblong hut, built of mud and
|
|
clay; it had at one end a wide door of stout planking, which so far
|
|
had not come off the hinges, and in one of the side walls there was
|
|
a square aperture, a sort of window, with three wooden bars. Before
|
|
descending the few steps the girl turned her face over her shoulder
|
|
and said quickly, "You were to be set upon while you slept." Jim
|
|
tells me he experienced a sense of deception. It was the old story.
|
|
He was weary of these attempts upon his life. He had had his fill of
|
|
these alarms. He was sick of them. He assured me he was angry
|
|
with the girl for deceiving him. He had followed her under the
|
|
impression that it was she who wanted his help, and now he had
|
|
half a mind to turn on his heel and go back in disgust. "Do you
|
|
know," he commented profoundly, "I rather think I was not quite
|
|
myself for whole weeks on end about that time." "Oh yes. You
|
|
were though," I couldn't help contradicting.
|
|
|
|
'But she moved on swiftly, and he followed her into the court-
|
|
yard. All its fences had fallen in a long time ago; the neighbours'
|
|
buffaloes would pace in the morning across the open space, snorting
|
|
profoundly, without haste; the very jungle was invading it already.
|
|
Jim and the girl stopped in the rank grass. The light in which they
|
|
stood made a dense blackness all round, and only above their heads
|
|
there was an opulent glitter of stars. He told me it was a beautiful
|
|
night -- quite cool, with a little stir of breeze from the river. It seems
|
|
he noticed its friendly beauty. Remember this is a love story I am
|
|
telling you now. A lovely night seemed to breathe on them a soft
|
|
caress. The flame of the torch streamed now and then with a flutter-
|
|
ing noise like a flag, and for a time this was the only sound. "They
|
|
are in the storeroom waiting," whispered the girl; "they are waiting
|
|
for the signal." "Who's to give it?" he asked. She shook the torch,
|
|
which blazed up after a shower of sparks. "Only you have been
|
|
sleeping so restlessly," she continued in a murmur; "I watched
|
|
your sleep, too." "You!" he exclaimed, craning his neck to look
|
|
about him. "You think I watched on this night only!" she said,
|
|
with a sort of despairing indignation..
|
|
|
|
'He says it was as if he had received a blow on the chest. He
|
|
gasped. He thought he had been an awful brute somehow, and he
|
|
felt remorseful, touched, happy, elated. This, let me remind you
|
|
again, is a love story; you can see it by the imbecility, not a repulsive
|
|
imbecility, the exalted imbecility of these proceedings, this station
|
|
in torchlight, as if they had come there on purpose to have it out
|
|
for the edification of concealed murderers. If Sherif Ali's emissaries
|
|
had been possessed -- as Jim remarked -- of a pennyworth of spunk,
|
|
this was the time to make a rush. His heart was thumping -- not
|
|
with fear -- but he seemed to hear the grass rustle, and he stepped
|
|
smartly out of the light. Something dark, imperfectly seen, flitted
|
|
rapidly out of sight. He called out in a strong voice, "Cornelius! O
|
|
Cornelius!" A profound silence succeeded: his voice did not seem
|
|
to have carried twenty feet. Again the girl was by his side. "Fly!"
|
|
she said. The old woman was coming up; her broken figure hovered
|
|
in crippled little jumps on the edge of the light; they heard her
|
|
mumbling, and a light, moaning sigh. "Fly!" repeated the girl
|
|
excitedly. "They are frightened now -- this light -- the voices. They
|
|
know you are awake now -- they know you are big, strong, fear-
|
|
less . . ." "If I am all that," he began; but she interrupted him:
|
|
"Yes -- to-night! But what of to-morrow night? Of the next night?
|
|
Of the night after -- of all the many, many nights? Can I be always
|
|
watching?" A sobbing catch of her breath affected him beyond the
|
|
power of words.
|
|
|
|
'He told me that he had never felt so small, so powerless -- and
|
|
as to courage, what was the good of it? he thought. He was so
|
|
helpless that even flight seemed of no use; and though she kept
|
|
on whispering, "Go to Doramin, go to Doramin," with feverish
|
|
insistence, he realised that for him there was no refuge from that
|
|
loneliness which centupled all his dangers except -- in her. "I
|
|
thought," he said to me, "that if I went away from her it would be
|
|
the end of everything somehow." Only as they couldn't stop there
|
|
for ever in the middle of that courtyard, he made up his mind to go
|
|
and look into the storehouse. He let her follow him without thinking
|
|
of any protest, as if they had been indissolubly united. "I am fear-
|
|
less -- am I?" he muttered through his teeth. She restrained his arm.
|
|
"Wait till you hear my voice," she said, and, torch in hand, ran
|
|
lightly round the corner. He remained alone in the darkness, his
|
|
face to the door: not a sound, not a breath came from the other side.
|
|
The old hag let out a dreary groan somewhere behind his back. He
|
|
heard a high-pitched almost screaming call from the girl. "Now!
|
|
Push!" He pushed violently; the door swung with a creak and a
|
|
clatter, disclosing to his intense astonishment the low dungeon-like
|
|
interior illuminated by a lurid, wavering glare. A turmoil of smoke
|
|
eddied down upon an empty wooden crate in the middle of the
|
|
floor, a litter of rags and straw tried to soar, but only stirred feebly
|
|
in the draught. She had thrust the light through the bars of the
|
|
window. He saw her bare round arm extended and rigid, holding
|
|
up the torch with the steadiness of an iron bracket. A conical ragged
|
|
heap of old mats cumbered a distant corner almost to the ceiling,
|
|
and that was all.
|
|
|
|
'He explained to me that he was bitterly disappointed at this. His
|
|
fortitude had been tried by so many warnings, he had been for
|
|
weeks surrounded by so many hints of danger, that he wanted the
|
|
relief of some reality, of something tangible that he could meet. "It
|
|
would have cleared the air for a couple of hours at least, if you know
|
|
what I mean," he said to me. "Jove! I had been living for days with
|
|
a stone on my chest. " Now at last he had thought he would get hold
|
|
of something, and -- nothing! Not a trace, not a sign of anybody.
|
|
He had raised his weapon as the door flew open, but now his arm
|
|
fell. "Fire! Defend yourself," the girl outside cried in an agonising
|
|
voice. She, being in the dark and with her arm thrust in to the
|
|
shoulder through the small hole, couldn't see what was going on,
|
|
and she dared not withdraw the torch now to run round. "There's
|
|
nobody here!" yelled Jim contemptuously, but his impulse to burst
|
|
into a resentful exasperated laugh died without a sound: he had
|
|
perceived in the very act of turning away that he was exchanging
|
|
glances with a pair of eyes in the heap of mats. He saw a shifting
|
|
gleam of whites. "Come out!" he cried in a fury, a little doubtful,
|
|
and a dark-faced head, a head without a body, shaped itself in the
|
|
rubbish, a strangely detached head, that looked at him with a steady
|
|
scowl. Next moment the whole mound stirred, and with a low grunt
|
|
a man emerged swiftly, and bounded towards Jim. Behind him the
|
|
mats as it were jumped and flew, his right arm was raised with a
|
|
crooked elbow, and the dull blade of a kriss protruded from his fist
|
|
held off, a little above his head. A cloth wound tight round his
|
|
loins seemed dazzlingly white on his bronze skin; his naked body
|
|
distened as if wet.
|
|
|
|
'Jim noted all this. He told me he was experiencing a feeling of
|
|
unutterable relief, of vengeful elation. He held his shot, he says,
|
|
deliberately. He held it for the tenth part of a second, for three
|
|
strides of the man -- an unconscionable time. He held it for the
|
|
pleasure of saying to himself, That's a dead man! He was absolutely
|
|
positive and certain. He let him come on because it did not matter.
|
|
A dead man, anyhow. He noticed the dilated nostrils, the wide eyes,
|
|
the intent, eager stillness of the face, and then he fired.
|
|
|
|
'The explosion in that confined space was stunning. He stepped
|
|
back a pace. He saw the man jerk his head up, fling his arms for-
|
|
ward, and drop the kriss. He ascertained afterwards that he had
|
|
shot him through the mouth, a little upwards, the bullet coming
|
|
out high at the back of the skull. With the impetus of his rush the
|
|
man drove straight on, his face suddenly gaping disfigured, with
|
|
his hands open before him gropingly, as though blinded, and landed
|
|
with terrific violence on his forehead, just short of Jim's bare toes.
|
|
Jim says he didn't lose the smallest detail of all this. He found
|
|
himself calm, appeased, without rancour, without uneasiness, as if
|
|
the death of that man had atoned for everything. The place was
|
|
getting very full of sooty smoke from the torch, in which the
|
|
unswaying flame burned blood-red without a flicker. He walked in
|
|
resolutely, striding over the dead body, and covered with his
|
|
revolver another naked figure outlined vaguely at the other end. As
|
|
he was about to pull the trigger, the man threw away with force a
|
|
short heavy spear, and squatted submissively on his hams, his back
|
|
to the wall and his clasped hands between his legs. "You want your
|
|
life?" Jim said. The other made no sound. "How many more of
|
|
you?" asked Jim again. "Two more, Tuan," said the man very
|
|
softly, looking with big fascinated eyes into the muzzle of the
|
|
revolver. Accordingly, two more crawled from under the mats,
|
|
holding out ostentatiously their empty hands.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 32
|
|
|
|
'Jim took up an advantageous position and shepherded them out
|
|
in a bunch through the doorway: all that time the torch had
|
|
remained vertical in the grip of a little hand, without so much as
|
|
a tremble. The three men obeyed him, perfectly mute, moving
|
|
automatically. He ranged them in a row. "Link arms!" he ordered.
|
|
They did so. "The first who withdraws his arm or turns his head is
|
|
a dead man," he said. "March!" They stepped out together, rigidly;
|
|
he followed, and at the side the girl, in a trailing white gown, her
|
|
black hair falling as low as her waist, bore the light. Erect and
|
|
swaying, she seemed to glide without touching the earth; the only
|
|
sound was the silky swish and rustle of the long grass. "Stop!" cried
|
|
Jim.
|
|
|
|
'The river-bank was steep; a great freshness ascended, the light
|
|
fell on the edge of smooth dark water frothing without a ripple;
|
|
right and left the shapes of the houses ran together below the sharp
|
|
outlines of the roofs. "Take my greetings to Sherif Ali -- till I come
|
|
myself," said Jim. Not one head of the three budged. "Jump!" he
|
|
thundered. The three splashes made one splash, a shower flew up,
|
|
black heads bobbed convulsively, and disappeared; but a great
|
|
blowing and spluttering went on, growing faint, for they were
|
|
diving industriously, in great fear of a parting shot. Jim turned to
|
|
the girl, who had been a silent and attentive observer. His heart
|
|
seemed suddenly to grow too big for his breast and choke him in
|
|
the hollow of his throat. This probably made him speechless for so
|
|
long, and after returning his gaze she flung the burning torch with
|
|
a wide sweep of the arm into the river. The ruddy fiery glare, taking
|
|
a long flight through the night, sank with a vicious hiss, and the
|
|
calm soft starlight descended upon them, unchecked.
|
|
|
|
'He did not tell me what it was he said when at last he recovered
|
|
his voice. I don't suppose he could be very eloquent. The world
|
|
was still, the night breathed on them, one of those nights that seem
|
|
created for the sheltering of tenderness, and there are moments
|
|
when our souls, as if freed from their dark envelope, glow with an
|
|
exquisite sensibility that makes certain silences more lucid than
|
|
speeches. As to the girl, he told me, "She broke down a bit. Excite-
|
|
ment -- don't you know. Reaction. Deucedly tired she must have
|
|
been -- and all that kind of thing. And -- and -- hang it all -- she was
|
|
fond of me, don't you see.... I too... didn't know, of
|
|
course . . . never entered my head . . ."
|
|
|
|
'Then he got up and began to walk about in some agitation. "I --
|
|
I love her dearly. More than I can tell. Of course one cannot tell.
|
|
You take a different view of your actions when you come to under-
|
|
stand, when you are made to understand every day that your exist-
|
|
ence is necessary -- you see, absolutely necessary -- to another
|
|
person. I am made to feel that. Wonderful! But only try to think
|
|
what her life has been. It is too extravagantly awful! Isn't it? And
|
|
me finding her here like this -- as you may go out for a stroll and
|
|
come suddenly upon somebody drowning in a lonely dark place.
|
|
Jove! No time to lose. Well, it is a trust too . . . I believe I am equal
|
|
to it . . ."
|
|
|
|
'I must tell you the girl had left us to ourselves some time before.
|
|
He slapped his chest. "Yes! I feel that, but I believe I am equal to
|
|
all my luck!" He had the gift of finding a special meaning in every-
|
|
thing that happened to him. This was the view he took of his love
|
|
affair; it was idyllic, a little solemn, and also true, since his belief
|
|
had all the unshakable seriousness of youth. Some time after, on
|
|
another occasion, he said to me, "I've been only two years here,
|
|
and now, upon my word, I can't conceive being able to live any-
|
|
where else. The very thought of the world outside is enough to give
|
|
me a fright; because, don't you see," he continued, with downcast
|
|
eyes watching the action of his boot busied in squashing thoroughly
|
|
a tiny bit of dried mud (we were strolling on the river-bank) --
|
|
"because I have not forgotten why I came here. Not yet!"
|
|
|
|
'I refrained from looking at him, but I think I heard a short sigh;
|
|
we took a turn or two in silence. "Upon my soul and conscience,"
|
|
he began again, "if such a thing can be forgotten, then I think I
|
|
have a right to dismiss it from my mind. Ask any man here" . . .
|
|
his voice changed. "Is it not strange," he went on in a gentle, almost
|
|
yearning tone, "that all these people, all these people who would
|
|
do anything for me, can never be made to understand? Never! If you
|
|
disbelieved me I could not call them up. It seems hard, somehow. I
|
|
am stupid, am I not? What more can I want? If you ask them who
|
|
is brave -- who is true -- who is just -- who is it they would trust with
|
|
their lives? -- they would say, Tuan Jim. And yet they can never
|
|
know the real, real truth . . ."
|
|
|
|
'That's what he said to me on my last day with him. I did not let
|
|
a murmur escape me: I felt he was going to say more, and come no
|
|
nearer to the root of the matter. The sun, whose concentrated glare
|
|
dwarfs the earth into a restless mote of dust, had sunk behind the
|
|
forest, and the diffused light from an opal sky seemed to cast upon
|
|
a world without shadows and without brilliance the illusion of a
|
|
calm and pensive greatness. I don't know why, listening to him, I
|
|
should have noted so distinctly the gradual darkening of the river,
|
|
of the air; the irresistible slow work of the night settling silently on
|
|
all the visible forms, effacing the oudines, burying the shapes
|
|
deeper and deeper, like a steady fall of impalpable black dust.
|
|
|
|
' "Jove!" he began abruptly, "there are days when a fellow is too
|
|
absurd for anything; only I know I can tell you what I like. I talk
|
|
about being done with it -- with the bally thing at the back of my
|
|
head . . . Forgetting . . . Hang me if I know! I can think of it
|
|
quietly. After all, what has it proved? Nothing. I suppose you don't
|
|
think so . . ."
|
|
|
|
'I made a protesting murmur.
|
|
|
|
' "No matter," he said. "I am satisfied . . . nearly. I've got to
|
|
look only at the face of the first man that comes along, to regain my
|
|
confidence. They can't be made to understand what is going on in
|
|
me. What of that? Come! I haven't done so badly."
|
|
|
|
' "Not so badly," I said.
|
|
|
|
' "But all the same, you wouldn't like to have me aboard your
|
|
own ship hey?"
|
|
|
|
' "Confound you!" I cried. "Stop this."
|
|
|
|
' "Aha! You see," he said, crowing, as it were, over me placidly.
|
|
"Only," he went on, "you just try to tell this to any of them here.
|
|
They would think you a fool, a liar, or worse. And so I can stand
|
|
it. I've done a thing or two for them, but this is what they have
|
|
done for me."
|
|
|
|
' "My dear chap," I cried, "you shall always remain for them an
|
|
insoluble mystery." Thereupon we were silent.
|
|
|
|
' "Mystery," he repeated, before looking up. "Well, then let me
|
|
always remain here."
|
|
|
|
'After the sun had set, the darkness seemed to drive upon us,
|
|
borne in every faint puff of the breeze. In the middle of a hedged
|
|
path I saw the arrested, gaunt, watchful, and apparently one-legged
|
|
silhouette of Tamb' Itam; and across the dusky space my eye
|
|
detected something white moving to and fro behind the supports
|
|
of the roof. As soon as Jim, with Tamb' Itam at his heels, had
|
|
started upon his evening rounds, I went up to the house alone,
|
|
and, unexpectedly, found myself waylaid by the girl, who had been
|
|
clearly waiting for this opportunity.
|
|
|
|
'It is hard to tell you what it was precisely she wanted to wrest
|
|
from me. Obviously it would be something very simple -- the sim-
|
|
plest impossibility in the world; as, for instance, the exact descrip-
|
|
tion of the form of a cloud. She wanted an assurance, a statement,
|
|
a promise, an explanation -- I don't know how to call it: the thing
|
|
has no name. It was dark under the projecting roof, and all I could
|
|
see were the flowing lines of her gown, the pale small oval of her
|
|
face, with the white flash of her teeth, and, turned towards me, the
|
|
big sombre orbits of her eyes, where there seemed to be a faint stir,
|
|
such as you may fancy you can detect when you plunge your gaze
|
|
to the bottom of an immensely deep well. What is it that moves
|
|
there? you ask yourself. Is it a blind monster or only a lost gleam
|
|
from the universe? It occurred to me -- don't laugh -- that all things
|
|
being dissimilar, she was more inscrutable in her childish ignorance
|
|
than the Sphinx propounding childish riddles to wayfarers. She
|
|
had been carried off to Patusan before her eyes were open. She had
|
|
grown up there; she had seen nothing, she had known nothing, she
|
|
had no conception of anything. I ask myself whether she were sure
|
|
that anything else existed. What notions she may have formed of
|
|
the outside world is to me inconceivable: all that she knew of its
|
|
inhabitants were a betrayed woman and a sinister pantaloon. Her
|
|
lover also came to her from there, gifted with irresistible seductions;
|
|
but what would become of her if he should return to these inconceiv-
|
|
able regions that seemed always to claim back their own? Her
|
|
mother had warned her of this with tears, before she died . . .
|
|
|
|
'She had caught hold of my arm firmly, and as soon as I had
|
|
stopped she had withdrawn her hand in haste. She was audacious
|
|
and shrinking. She feared nothing, but she was checked by the
|
|
profound incertitude and the extreme strangeness -- a brave person
|
|
groping in the dark. I belonged to this Unknown that might claim
|
|
Jim for its own at any moment. I was, as it were, in the secret of its
|
|
nature and of its intentions -- the confidant of a threatening
|
|
mystery -- armed with its power, perhaps! I believe she supposed I
|
|
could with a word whisk Jim away out of her very arms; it is my
|
|
sober conviction she went through agonies of apprehension during
|
|
my long talks with Jim; through a real and intolerable anguish that
|
|
might have conceivably driven her into plotting my murder, had
|
|
the fierceness of her soul been equal to the tremendous situation it
|
|
had created. This is my impression, and it is all I can give you: the
|
|
whole thing dawned gradually upon me, and as it got clearer and
|
|
clearer I was overwhelmed by a slow incredulous amazement. She
|
|
made me believe her, but there is no word that on my lips could
|
|
render the effect of the headlong and vehement whisper, of the soft,
|
|
passionate tones, of the sudden breathless pause and the appealing
|
|
movement of the white arms extended swiftly. They fell; the ghostly
|
|
figure swayed like a slender tree in the wind, the pale oval of the
|
|
face drooped; it was impossible to distinguish her features, the
|
|
darkness of the eyes was unfathomable; two wide sleeves uprose in
|
|
the dark like unfolding wings, and she stood silent, holding her
|
|
head in her hands.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 33
|
|
|
|
'I was immensely touched: her youth, her ignorance, her pretty
|
|
beauty, which had the simple charm and the delicate vigour of a
|
|
wild flower, her pathetic pleading, her helplessness, appealed to me
|
|
with almost the strength of her own unreasonable and natural fear.
|
|
She feared the unknown as we all do, and her ignorance made the
|
|
unknown infinitely vast. I stood for it, for myself, for you fellows,
|
|
for all the world that neither cared for Jim nor needed him in the
|
|
least. I would have been ready enough to answer for the indifference
|
|
of the teeming earth but for the reflection that he too belonged to
|
|
this mysterious unknown of her fears, and that, however much I
|
|
stood for, I did not stand for him. This made me hesitate. A murmur
|
|
of hopeless pain unsealed my lips. I began by protesting that I at
|
|
least had come with no intention to take Jim away.
|
|
|
|
'Why did I come, then? After a slight movement she was as still
|
|
as a marble statue in the night. I tried to explain briefly: friendship,
|
|
business; if I had any wish in the matter it was rather to see him
|
|
stay.... "They always leave us," she murmured. The breath of
|
|
sad wisdom from the grave which her piety wreathed with flowers
|
|
seemed to pass in a faint sigh.... Nothing, I said, could separate
|
|
Jim from her.
|
|
|
|
'It is my firm conviction now; it was my conviction at the time;
|
|
it was the only possible conclusion from the facts of the case. It was
|
|
not made more certain by her whispering in a tone in which one
|
|
speaks to oneself, "He swore this to me." "Did you ask him?" I
|
|
said.
|
|
|
|
'She made a step nearer. "No. Never!" She had asked him only
|
|
to go away. It was that night on the river-bank, after he had killed
|
|
the man -- after she had flung the torch in the water because he was
|
|
looking at her so. There was too much light, and the danger was
|
|
over then -- for a little time -- for a little time. He said then he would
|
|
not abandon her to Cornelius. She had insisted. She wanted him to
|
|
leave her. He said that he could not -- that it was impossible. He
|
|
trembled while he said this. She had felt him tremble.... One
|
|
does not require much imagination to see the scene, almost to hear
|
|
their whispers. She was afraid for him too. I believe that then she
|
|
saw in him only a predestined victim of dangers which she under-
|
|
stood better than himself. Though by nothing but his mere presence
|
|
he had mastered her heart, had filled all her thoughts, and had
|
|
possessed himself of all her affections, she underestimated his
|
|
chances of success. It is obvious that at about that time everybody
|
|
was inclined to underestimate his chances. Strictly speaking he
|
|
didn't seem to have any. I know this was Cornelius's view. He
|
|
confessed that much to me in extenuation of the shady part he had
|
|
played in Sherif Ali's plot to do away with the infidel. Even Sherif
|
|
Ali himself, as it seems certain now, had nothing but contempt for
|
|
the white man. Jim was to be murdered mainly on religious
|
|
grounds, I believe. A simple act of piety (and so far infinitely meri-
|
|
torious), but otherwise without much importance. In the last part
|
|
of this opinion Cornelius concurred. "Honourable sir," he argued
|
|
abjectly on the only occasion he managed to have me to himself --
|
|
"honourable sir, how was I to know? Who was he? What could he
|
|
do to make people believe him? What did Mr. Stein mean sending
|
|
a boy like that to talk big to an old servant? I was ready to save him
|
|
for eighty dollars. Only eighty dollars. Why didn't the fool go?
|
|
Was I to get stabbed myself for the sake of a stranger?" He grovelled
|
|
in spirit before me, with his body doubled up insinuatingly and his
|
|
hands hovering about my knees, as though he were ready to
|
|
embrace my legs. "What's eighty dollars? An insignificant sum to
|
|
give to a defenceless old man ruined for life by a deceased she-
|
|
devil." Here he wept. But I anticipate. I didn't that night chance
|
|
upon Cornelius till I had had it out with the girl.
|
|
|
|
'She was unselfish when she urged Jim to leave her, and even to
|
|
leave the country. It was his danger that was foremost in her
|
|
thoughts -- even if she wanted to save herself too -- perhaps uncon-
|
|
sciously: but then look at the warning she had, look at the lesson
|
|
that could be drawn from every moment of the recently ended life
|
|
in which all her memories were centred. She fell at his feet -- she
|
|
told me so -- there by the river, in the discreet light of stars which
|
|
showed nothing except great masses of silent shadows, indefinite
|
|
open spaces, and trembling faintly upon the broad stream made it
|
|
appear as wide as the sea. He had lifted her up. He lifted her up,
|
|
and then she would struggle no more. Of course not. Strong arms,
|
|
a tender voice, a stalwart shoulder to rest her poor lonely little head
|
|
upon. The need -- the infinite need -- of all this for the aching heart,
|
|
for the bewildered mind; -- the promptings of youth -- the necessity
|
|
of the moment. What would you have? One understands -- unless
|
|
one is incapable of understanding anything under the sun. And so
|
|
she was content to be lifted up -- and held. "You know -- Jove! this
|
|
is serious -- no nonsense in it!" as Jim had whispered hurriedly with
|
|
a troubled concerned face on the threshold of his house. I don't
|
|
know so much about nonsense, but there was nothing light-hearted
|
|
in their romance: they came together under the shadow of a life's
|
|
disaster, like knight and maiden meeting to exchange vows amongst
|
|
haunted ruins. The starlight was good enough for that story, a light
|
|
so faint and remote that it cannot resolve shadows into shapes, and
|
|
show the other shore of a stream. I did look upon the stream that
|
|
night and from the very place; it rolled silent and as black as Styx:
|
|
the next day I went away, but I am not likely to forget what it was
|
|
she wanted to be saved from when she entreated him to leave her
|
|
while there was time. She told me what it was, calmed -- she was
|
|
now too passionately interested for mere excitement -- in a voice as
|
|
quiet in the obscurity as her white half-lost figure. She told me, "I
|
|
didn't want to die weeping." I thought I had not heard aright.
|
|
|
|
' "You did not want to die weeping?" I repeated after her. "Like
|
|
my mother," she added readily. The outlines of her white shape
|
|
did not stir in the least. "My mother had wept bitterly before she
|
|
died," she explained. An inconseivable calmness seemed to have
|
|
risen from the ground around us, imperceptibly, like the still rise of
|
|
a flood in the night, obliterating the familiar landmarks of emotions.
|
|
There came upon me, as though I had felt myself losing my footing
|
|
in the midst of waters, a sudden dread, the dread of the unknown
|
|
depths. She went on explaining that, during the last moments,
|
|
being alone with her mother, she had to leave the side of the couch
|
|
to go and set her back against the door, in order to keep Cornelius
|
|
out. He desired to get in, and kept on drumming with both fists,
|
|
only desisting now and again to shout huskily, "Let me in! Let me
|
|
in! Let me in!" In a far corner upon a few mats the moribund
|
|
woman, already speechless and unable to lift her arm, rolled her
|
|
head over, and with a feeble movement of her hand seemed to
|
|
command - "No! No!" and the obedient daughter, setting her
|
|
shoulders with all her strength against the door, was looking on.
|
|
"The tears fell from her eyes -- and then she died," concluded the
|
|
girl in an imperturbable monotone, which more than anything else,
|
|
more than the white statuesque immobility of her person, more
|
|
than mere words could do, troubled my mind profoundly with the
|
|
passive, irremediable horror of the scene. It had the power to drive
|
|
me out of my conception of existence, out of that shelter each of us
|
|
makes for himself to creep under in moments of danger, as a tortoise
|
|
withdraws within its shell. For a moment I had a view of a world
|
|
that seemed to wear a vast and dismal aspect of disorder, while, in
|
|
truth, thanks to our unwearied efforts, it is as sunny as arrangement
|
|
of small conveniences as the mind of man can conceive. But still --
|
|
it was only a moment: I went back into my shell directly. One must --
|
|
don't you know? -- though I seemed to have lost all my words in the
|
|
chaos of dark thoughts I had contemplated for a second or two
|
|
beyond the pale. These came back, too, very soon, for words also
|
|
belong to the sheltering conception of light and order which is our
|
|
refuge. I had them ready at my disposal before she whispered
|
|
softly, "He swore he would never leave me, when we stood there
|
|
alone! He swore to me!"... "And it is possible that you -- you! do
|
|
not believe him?" I asked, sincerely reproachful, genuinely
|
|
shocked. Why couldn't she believe? Wherefore this craving for
|
|
incertitude, this clinging to fear, as if incertitude and fear had been
|
|
the safeguards of her love. It was monstrous. She should have made
|
|
for herself a shelter of inexpugnable peace out of that honest affec-
|
|
tion. She had not the knowledge -- not the skill perhaps. The night
|
|
had come on apace; it had grown pitch-dark where we were, so that
|
|
without stirring she had faded like the intangible form of a wistful
|
|
and perverse spirit. And suddenly I heard her quiet whisper again,
|
|
"Other men had sworn the same thing." It was like a meditative
|
|
comment on some thoughts full of sadness, of awe. And she added,
|
|
still lower if possible, "My father did." She paused the time to draw
|
|
an inaudible breath. "Her father too." . . . These were the things
|
|
she knew! At once I said, "Ah! but he is not like that." This, it
|
|
seemed, she did not intend to dispute; but after a time the strange
|
|
still whisper wandering dreamily in the air stole into my ears. "Why
|
|
is he different? Is he better? Is he . . ." "Upon my word of hon-
|
|
our," I broke in, "I believe he is." We subdued our tones to a
|
|
mysterious pitch. Amongst the huts of Jim's workmen (they were
|
|
mostly liberated slaves from the Sherif's stockade) somebody
|
|
started a shrill, drawling song. Across the river a big fire (at Dora-
|
|
min's, I think) made a glowing ball, completely isolated in the
|
|
night. "Is he more true?" she murmured. "Yes," I said. "More true
|
|
than any other man," she repeated in lingering accents. "Nobody
|
|
here," I said, "would dream of doubting his word -- nobody would
|
|
dare -- except you."
|
|
|
|
'I think she made a movement at this. "More brave," she went
|
|
on in a changed tone. "Fear will never drive him away from you,"
|
|
I said a little nervously. The song stopped short on a shrill note,
|
|
and was succeeded by several voices talking in the distance. Jim's
|
|
voice too. I was struck by her silence. "What has he been telling
|
|
you? He has been telling you something?" I asked. There was no
|
|
answer. "What is it he told you?" I insisted.
|
|
|
|
' "Do you think I can tell you? How am I to know? How am I to
|
|
understand?" she cried at last. There was a stir. I believe she was
|
|
wringing her hands. "There is something he can never forget."
|
|
|
|
' "So much the better for you," I said gloomily.
|
|
|
|
' "What is it? What is it?" She put an extraordinary force of
|
|
appeal into her supplicating tone. "He says he had been afraid.
|
|
How can I believe this? Am I a mad woman to believe this? You all
|
|
remember something! You all go back to it. What is it? You tell
|
|
me! What is this thing? Is it alive? -- is it dead? I hate it. It is cruel.
|
|
Has it got a face and a voice -- this calamity? Will he see it -- will he
|
|
hear it? In his sleep perhaps when he cannot see me -- and then arise
|
|
and go. Ah! I shall never forgive him. My mother had forgiven --
|
|
but I, never! Will it be a sign -- a call?"
|
|
|
|
'It was a wonderful experience. She mistrusted his very slum-
|
|
bers -- and she seemed to think I could tell her why! Thus a poor
|
|
mortal seduced by the charm of an apparition might have tried to
|
|
wring from another ghost the tremendous secret of the claim the
|
|
other world holds over a disembodied soul astray amongst the pas-
|
|
sions of this earth. The very ground on which I stood seemed to
|
|
melt under my feet. And it was so simple too; but if the spirits
|
|
evoked by our fears and our unrest have ever to vouch for each
|
|
other's constancy before the forlorn magicians that we are, then I --
|
|
I alone of us dwellers in the flesh -- have shuddered in the hopeless
|
|
chill of such a task. A sign, a call! How telling in its expression was
|
|
her ignorance. A few words! How she came to know them, how
|
|
she came to pronounce them, I can't imagine. Women find their
|
|
inspiration in the stress of moments that for us are merely awful,
|
|
absurd, or futile. To discover that she had a voice at all was enough
|
|
to strike awe into the heart. Had a spurned stone cried out in pain
|
|
it could not have appeared a greater and more pitiful miracle. These
|
|
few sounds wandering in the dark had made their two benighted
|
|
lives tragic to my mind. It was impossible to make her understand.
|
|
I chafed silendy at my impotence. And Jim, too -- poor devil! Who
|
|
would need him? Who would remember him? He had what he
|
|
wanted. His very existence probably had been forgotten by this
|
|
time. They had mastered their fates. They were tragic.
|
|
|
|
'Her immobility before me was clearly expectant, and my part
|
|
was to speak for my brother from the realm of forgetful shade. I
|
|
was deeply moved at my responsibility and at her distress. I would
|
|
have given anything for the power to soothe her frail soul, torment-
|
|
ing itself in its invincible ignorance like a small bird beating about
|
|
the cruel wires of a cage. Nothing easier than to say, Have no fear!
|
|
Nothing more difficult. How does one kill fear, I wonder? How do
|
|
you shoot a spectre through the heart, slash off its spectral head,
|
|
take it by its spectral throat? It is an enterprise you rush into while
|
|
you dream, and are glad to make your escape with wet hair and
|
|
every limb shaking. The bullet is not run, the blade not forged, the
|
|
man not born; even the winged words of truth drop at your feet
|
|
like lumps of lead. You require for such a desperate encounter an
|
|
enchanted and poisoned shaft dipped in a lie too subtle to be found
|
|
on earth. An enterprise for a dream, my masters!
|
|
|
|
'I began my exorcism with a heavy heart, with a sort of sullen
|
|
anger in it too. Jim's voice, suddenly raised with a stern intonation,
|
|
carried across the courtyard, reproving the carelessness of some
|
|
dumb sinner by the river-side. Nothing -- I said, speaking in a
|
|
distinct murmur -- there could be nothing, in that unknown world
|
|
she fancied so eager to rob her of her happiness, there was nothing,
|
|
neither living nor dead, there was no face, no voice, no power, that
|
|
could tear Jim from her side. I drew breath and she whispered
|
|
softly, "He told me so." "He told you the truth," I said.
|
|
"Nothing," she sighed out, and abruptly turned upon me with a
|
|
barely audible intensity of tone: "Why did you come to us from out
|
|
there? He speaks of you too often. You make me afraid. Do you --
|
|
do you want him?" A sort of stealthy fierceness had crept into our
|
|
hurried mutters. "I shall never come again," I said bitterly. "And
|
|
I don't want him. No one wants him." "No one," she repeated in
|
|
a tone of doubt. "No one," I affirmed, feeling myself swayed by
|
|
some strange excitement. "You think him strong, wise, courageous,
|
|
great -- why not believe him to be true too? I shall go to-morrow --
|
|
and that is the end. You shall never be troubled by a voice from
|
|
there again. This world you don't know is too big to miss him. You
|
|
understand? Too big. You've got his heart in your hand. You must
|
|
feel that. You must know that." "Yes, I know that," she breathed
|
|
out, hard and still, as a statue might whisper.
|
|
|
|
'I felt I had done nothing. And what is it that I had wished to do?
|
|
I am not sure now. At the time I was animated by an inexplicable
|
|
ardour, as if before some great and necessary task -- the influence
|
|
of the moment upon my mental and emotional state. There are in
|
|
all our lives such moments, such influences, coming from the out-
|
|
side, as it were, irresistible, incomprehensible -- as if brought about
|
|
by the mysterious conjunctions of the planets. She owned, as I had
|
|
put it to her, his heart. She had that and everything else -- if she
|
|
could only believe it. What I had to tell her was that in the whole
|
|
world there was no one who ever would need his heart, his mind,
|
|
his hand. It was a common fate, and yet it seemed an awful thing
|
|
to say of any man. She listened without a word, and her stillness
|
|
now was like the protest of an invincible unbelief. What need she
|
|
care for the world beyond the forests? I asked. From all the multi-
|
|
tudes that peopled the vastness of that unknown there would come,
|
|
I assured her, as long as he lived, neither a call nor a sign for him.
|
|
Never. I was carried away. Never! Never! I remember with wonder
|
|
the sort of dogged fierceness I displayed. I had the illusion of having
|
|
got the spectre by the throat at last. Indeed the whole real thing has
|
|
left behind the detailed and amazing impression of a dream. Why
|
|
should she fear? She knew him to be strong, true, wise, brave. He
|
|
was all that. Certainly. He was more. He was great -- invincible --
|
|
and the world did not want him, it had forgotten him, it would not
|
|
even know tlim.
|
|
|
|
'I stopped; the silence over Patusan was profound, and the feeble
|
|
dry sound of a paddle striking the side of a canoe somewhere in
|
|
the middle of the river seemed to make it infinite. "Why?" she
|
|
murmured. I felt that sort of rage one feels during a hard tussle.
|
|
The spectre vas trying to slip out of my grasp. "Why?" she repeated
|
|
louder; "tell me!" And as I remained confounded, she stamped
|
|
with her foot like a spoilt child. "Why? Speak." "You want to
|
|
know?" I asked in a fury. "Yes!" she cried. "Because he is not good
|
|
enough," I said brutally. During the moment's pause I noticed the
|
|
fire on the other shore blaze up, dilating the circle of its glow like
|
|
an amazed stare, and contract suddenly to a red pin-point. I only
|
|
knew how close to me she had been when I felt the clutch of her
|
|
fingers on my forearm. Without raising her voice, she threw into it
|
|
an infinity of scathing contempt, bitterness, and despair.
|
|
|
|
' "This is the very thing he said.... You lie!"
|
|
|
|
'The last two words she cried at me in the native dialect. "Hear
|
|
me out!" I entreated. She caught her breath tremulously, flung my
|
|
arm away. "Nobody, nobody is good enough," I began with the
|
|
greatest earnestness. I could hear the sobbing labour of her breath
|
|
frightfully quickened. I hung my head. What was the use? Foot-
|
|
steps were approaching; I slipped away without another word....'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 34
|
|
|
|
Marlow swung his legs out, got up quickly, and staggered a little,
|
|
as though he had been set down after a rush through space. He
|
|
leaned his back against the balustrade and faced a disordered array
|
|
of long cane chairs. The bodies prone in them seemed startled out
|
|
of their torpor by his movement. One or two sat up as if alarmed;
|
|
here and there a cigar glowed yet; Marlow looked at them all with
|
|
the eyes of a man returning from the excessive remoteness of a
|
|
dream. A throat was cleared; a calm voice encouraged negligently,
|
|
'Well.'
|
|
|
|
'Nothing,' said Marlow with a slight start. 'He had told her --
|
|
that's all. She did not believe him -- nothing more. As to myself, I
|
|
do not know whether it be just, proper, decent for me to rejoice or
|
|
to be sorry. For my part, I cannot say what I believed -- indeed I
|
|
don't know to this day, and never shall probably. But what did the
|
|
poor devil believe himself? Truth shall prevail -- don't you know.
|
|
Magna est veritas el . . . Yes, when it gets a chance. There is a law,
|
|
no doubt -- and likewise a law regulates your luck in the throwing
|
|
of dice. It is not Justice the servant of men, but accident, hazard,
|
|
Fortune -- the ally of patient Time -- that holds an even and scrupu-
|
|
lous balance. Both of us had said the very same thing. Did we both
|
|
speak the truth -- or one of us did -- or neither? . . .'
|
|
|
|
Marlow paused, crossed his arms on his breast, and in a changed
|
|
tone --
|
|
|
|
'She said we lied. Poor soul! Well -- let's leave it to Chance, whose
|
|
ally is Time, that cannot be hurried, and whose enemy is Death,
|
|
that will not wait. I had retreated -- a little cowed, I must own. I
|
|
had tried a fall with fear itself and got thrown -- of course. I had
|
|
only succeeded in adding to her anguish the hint of some mysterious
|
|
collusion, of an inexplicable and incomprehensible conspiracy to
|
|
keep her for ever in the dark. And it had come easily, naturally,
|
|
unavoidably, by his act, by her own act! It was as though I had been
|
|
shown the working of the implacable destiny of which we are the
|
|
victims -- and the tools. It was appalling to think of the girl whom
|
|
I had left standing there motionless; Jim's footsteps had a fateful
|
|
sound as he tramped by, without seeing me, in his heavy laced
|
|
boots. "What? No lights!" he said in a loud, surprised voice. "What
|
|
are you doing in the dark -- you two?" Next moment he caught sight
|
|
of her, I suppose. "Hallo, girl!" he cried cheerily. "Hallo, boy!"
|
|
she answered at once, with amazing pluck.
|
|
|
|
'This was their usual greeting to each other, and the bit of swagger
|
|
she would put into her rather high but sweet voice was very droll,
|
|
pretty, and childlike. It delighted Jim greatly. This was the last
|
|
occasion on which I heard them exchange this familiar hail, and it
|
|
struck a chill into my heart. There was the high sweet voice, the
|
|
pretty effort, the swagger; but it all seemed to die out prematurely,
|
|
and the playful call sounded like a moan. It was too confoundedly
|
|
awful. "What have you done with Marlow?" Jim was asking; and
|
|
then, "Gone down -- has he? Funny I didn't meet him.... You
|
|
there, Marlow?"
|
|
|
|
'I didn't answer. I wasn't going in -- not yet at any rate. I really
|
|
couldn't. While he was calling me I was engaged in making my
|
|
escape through a little gate leading out upon a stretch of newly
|
|
cleared ground. No; I couldn't face them yet. I walked hastily with
|
|
lowered head along a trodden path. The ground rose gently, the
|
|
few big trees had been felled, the undergrowth had been cut down
|
|
and the grass fired. He had a mind to try a coffee-plantation there.
|
|
The big hill, rearing its double summit coal-black in the clear yellow
|
|
glow of the rising moon, seemed to cast its shadow upon the ground
|
|
prepared for that experiment. He was going to try ever so many
|
|
experiments; I had admired his energy, his enterprise, and his
|
|
shrewdness. Nothing on earth seeemed less real now than his plans,
|
|
his energy, and his enthusiasm; and raising my eyes, I saw part of
|
|
the moon glittering through the bushes at the bottom of the chasm.
|
|
For a moment it looked as though the smooth disc, falling from its
|
|
place in the sky upon the earth, had rolled to the bottom of that
|
|
precipice: its ascending movement was like a leisurely rebound; it
|
|
disengaged itself from the tangle of twigs; the bare contorted limb
|
|
of some tree, growing on the slope, made a black crack right across
|
|
its face. It threw its level rays afar as if from a cavern, and in this
|
|
mournful eclipse-like light the stumps of felled trees uprose very
|
|
dark, the heavy shadows fell at my feet on all sides, my own moving
|
|
shadow, and across my path the shadow of the solitary grave perpet-
|
|
ually garlanded with flowers. In the darkened moonlight the inter-
|
|
laced blossoms took on shapes foreign to one's memory and colours
|
|
indefinable to the eye, as though they had been special flowers
|
|
gathered by no man, grown not in this world, and destined for the
|
|
use of the dead alone. Their powerful scent hung in the warm air,
|
|
making it thick and heavy like the fumes of incense. The lumps of
|
|
white coral shone round the dark mound like a chaplet of bleached
|
|
skulls, and everything around was so quiet that when I stood still
|
|
all sound and all movement in the world seemed to come to an end.
|
|
|
|
'It was a great peace, as if the earth had been one grave, and for
|
|
a time I stood there thinking mostly of the living who, buried in
|
|
remote places out of the knowledge of mankind, still are fated to
|
|
share in its tragic or grotesque miseries. In its noble struggles too --
|
|
who knows? The human heart is vast enough to contain all the
|
|
world. It is valiant enough to bear the burden, but where is the
|
|
courage that would cast it off?
|
|
|
|
'I suppose I must have fallen into a sentimental mood; I only
|
|
know that I stood there long enough for the sense of utter solitude
|
|
to get hold of me so completely that all I had lately seen, all I had
|
|
heard, and the very human speech itself, seemed to have passed
|
|
away out of existence, living only for a while longer in my memory,
|
|
as though I had been the last of mankind. It was a strange and
|
|
melancholy illusion, evolved half-consciously like all our illusions,
|
|
which I suspect only to be visions of remote unattainable truth,
|
|
seen dimly. This was, indeed, one of the lost, forgotten, unknown
|
|
places of the earth; I had looked under its obscure surface; and I
|
|
felt that when to-morrow I had left it for ever, it would slip out of
|
|
existence, to live only in my memory till I myself passed into ob-
|
|
livion. I have that feeling about me now; perhaps it is that feeling
|
|
which has incited me to tell you the story, to try to hand over to
|
|
you, as it were, its very existence, its reality -- the truth disclosed
|
|
in a moment of illusion.
|
|
|
|
'Cornelius broke upon it. He bolted out, vermin-like, from the
|
|
long grass growing in a depression of the ground. I believe his
|
|
house was rotting somewhere near by, though I've never seen it, not
|
|
having been far enough in that direction. He ran towards me upon
|
|
the path; his feet, shod in dirty white shoes, twinkled on the dark
|
|
earth; he pulled himself up, and began to whine and cringe under
|
|
a tall stove-pipe hat. His dried-up little carcass was swallowed up,
|
|
totally lost, in a suit of black broadcloth. That was his costume for
|
|
holidays and ceremonies, and it reminded me that this was the
|
|
fourth Sunday I had spent in Patusan. All the time of my stay I had
|
|
been vaguely aware of his desire to confide in me, if he only could
|
|
get me all to himself. He hung about with an eager craving look on
|
|
his sour yellow little face; but his timidity had kept him back as
|
|
much as my natural reluctance to have anything to do with such an
|
|
unsavoury creature. He would have succeeded, nevertheless, had
|
|
he not been so ready to slink off as soon as you looked at him. He
|
|
would slink off before Jim's severe gaze, before my own, which I
|
|
tried to make indifferent, even before Tamb' Itam's surly, superior
|
|
glance. He was perpetually slinking away; whenever seen he was
|
|
seen moving off deviously, his face over his shoulder, with either a
|
|
mistrustful snarl or a woe-begone, piteous, mute aspect; but no
|
|
assumed expression could conceal this innate irremediable abject-
|
|
ness of his nature, any more than an arrangement of clothing can
|
|
conceal some monstrous deformity of the body.
|
|
|
|
'I don't know whether it was the demoralisation of my utter
|
|
defeat in my encounter with a spectre of fear less than an hour ago,
|
|
but I let him capture me without even a show of resistance. I was
|
|
doomed to be the recipient of confidences, and to be confronted
|
|
with unanswerable questions. It was trying; but the contempt, the
|
|
unreasoned contempt, the man's appearance provoked, made it
|
|
easier to bear. He couldn't possibly matter. Nothing mattered, since
|
|
I had made up my mind that Jim, for whom alone I cared, had at
|
|
last mastered his fate. He had told me he was satisfied . . . nearly.
|
|
This is going further than most of us dare. I -- who have the right
|
|
to think myself good enough -- dare not. Neither does any of you
|
|
here, I suppose? . . .'
|
|
|
|
Marlow paused, as if expecting an answer. Nobody spoke.
|
|
|
|
'Quite right,' he began again. 'Let no soul know, since the truth
|
|
can be wrung out of us only by some cruel, little, awful catastrophe.
|
|
But he is one of us, and he could say he was satisfied . . . nearly.
|
|
Just fancy this! Nearly satisfied. One could almost envy him his
|
|
catastrophe. Nearly satisfied. After this nothing could matter. It
|
|
did not matter who suspected him, who trusted him, who loved
|
|
him, who hated him -- especially as it was Cornelius who hated him.
|
|
|
|
'Yet after all this was a kind of recognition. You shall judge of a
|
|
man by his foes as well as by his friends, and this enemy of Jim was
|
|
such as no decent man would be ashamed to own, without, however,
|
|
making too much of him. This was the view Jim took, and in which
|
|
I shared; but Jim disregarded him on general grounds. "My dear
|
|
Marlow," he said, "I feel that if I go straight nothing can touch me.
|
|
Indeed I do. Now you have been long enough here to have a good
|
|
look round -- and, frankly, don't you think I am pretty safe? It all
|
|
depends upon me, and, by Jove! I have lots of confidence in myself.
|
|
The worst thing he could do would be to kill me, I suppose. I don't
|
|
think for a moment he would. He couldn't, you know -- not if I
|
|
were myself to hand him a loaded rifle for the purpose, and then
|
|
turn my back on him. That's the sort of thing he is. And suppose
|
|
he would -- suppose he could? Well -- what of that? I didn't come
|
|
here flying for my life -- did I? I came here to set my back against
|
|
the wall, and I am going to stay here . . ."
|
|
|
|
' "Till you are quite satisfied," I struck in.
|
|
|
|
'We were sitting at the time under the roof in the stern of his
|
|
boat; twenty paddles flashed like one, ten on a side, striking the
|
|
water with a single splash, while behind our backs Tamb' Itam
|
|
dipped silently right and left, and stared right down the river,
|
|
attentive to keep the long canoe in the greatest strength of the
|
|
current. Jim bowed his head, and our last talk seemed to flicker out
|
|
for good. He was seeing me off as far as the mouth of the river. The
|
|
schooner had left the day before, working down and drifting on the
|
|
ebb, while I had prolonged my stay overnight. And now he was
|
|
seeing me off.
|
|
|
|
'Jim had been a little angry with me for mentioning Cornelius at
|
|
all. I had not, in truth, said much. The man was too insignificant
|
|
to be dangerous, though he was as full of hate as he could hold. He
|
|
had called me "honourable sir" at every second sentence, and had
|
|
whined at my elbow as he followed me from the grave of his "late
|
|
wife" to the gate of Jim's compound. He declared himself the most
|
|
unhappy of men, a victim, crushed like a worm; he entreated me
|
|
to look at him. I wouldn't turn my head to do so; but I could see
|
|
out of the corner of my eye his obsequious shadow gliding after
|
|
mine, while the moon, suspended on our right hand, seemed to
|
|
gloat serenely upon the spectacle. He tried to explain -- as I've told
|
|
you -- his share in the events of the memorable night. It was a matter
|
|
of expediency. How could he know who was going to get the upper
|
|
hand? "I would have saved him, honourable sir! I would have saved
|
|
him for eighty dollars," he protested in dulcet tones, keeping a pace
|
|
behind me. "He has saved himself," I said, "and he has forgiven
|
|
you." I heard a sort of tittering, and turned upon him; at once he
|
|
appeared ready to take to his heels. "What are you laughing at?"
|
|
I asked, standing still. "Don't be deceived, honourable sir!" he
|
|
shrieked, seemingly losing all control over his feelings. "He save
|
|
himself! He knows nothing, honourable sir -- nothing whatever.
|
|
Who is he? What does he want here -- the big thief? What does he
|
|
want here? He throws dust into everybody's eyes; he throws dust
|
|
into your eyes, honourable sir; but he can't throw dust into my
|
|
eyes. He is a big fool, honourable sir." I laughed contemptuously,
|
|
and, turning on my heel, began to walk on again. He ran up to my
|
|
elbow and whispered forcibly, "He's no more than a little child
|
|
here -- like a little child -- a little child." Of course I didn't take
|
|
the slightest notice, and seeing the time pressed, because we were
|
|
approaching the bamboo fence that glittered over the blackened
|
|
ground of the clearing, he came to the point. He commenced by
|
|
being abjectly lachrymose. His great misfortunes had affected his
|
|
head. He hoped I would kindly forget what nothing but his troubles
|
|
made him say. He didn't mean anything by it; only the honourable
|
|
sir did not know what it was to be ruined, broken down, trampled
|
|
upon. After this introduction he approached the matter near his
|
|
heart, but in such a rambling, ejaculatory, craven fashion, that for
|
|
a long time I couldn't make out what he was driving at. He wanted
|
|
me to intercede with Jim in his favour. It seemed, too, to be some
|
|
sort of money affair. I heard time and again the words, "Moderate
|
|
provision -- suitable present." He seemed to be claiming value for
|
|
something, and he even went the length of saying with some warmth
|
|
that life was not worth having if a man were to be robbed of every-
|
|
thing. I did not breathe a word, of course, but neither did I stop
|
|
my ears. The gist of the affair, which became clear to me gradually,
|
|
was in this, that he rgarded himself as entitled to some money in
|
|
exchange for the girl. He had brought her up. Somebody else's
|
|
child. Great trouble and pains -- old man now -- suitable present. If
|
|
the honourable sir would say a word.... I stood still to look at
|
|
him with curiosity, and fearful lest I should think him extortionate,
|
|
I suppose, he hastily brought himself to make a concession. In
|
|
consideration of a "suitable present" given at once, he would, he
|
|
declared, be willing to undertake the charge of the girl, "without
|
|
any other provision -- when the time came for the gentleman to go
|
|
home." His little yellow face, all crumpled as though it had been
|
|
squeezed together, expressed the most anxious, eager avarice. His
|
|
voice whined coaxingly, "No more trouble -- natural guardian -- a
|
|
sum of money . . . "
|
|
|
|
'I stood there and marvelled. That kind of thing, with him, was
|
|
evidently a vocation. I discovered suddenly in his cringing attitude a
|
|
sort of assurance, as though he had been all his life dealing in certi-
|
|
tudes. He must have thought I was dispassionately considering his
|
|
proposal, because he became as sweet as honey. "Every gentleman
|
|
made a provision when the time came to go home,"he began insinuat-
|
|
ingly. I slammed the little gate. "In this case, Mr. Cornelius," I said,
|
|
"the time will never come." He took a few seconds to gather this in.
|
|
"What!"he fairly squealed. "Why," I continued from my side of the
|
|
gate,"haven't you heard him say so himself? He will nevergo home."
|
|
"Oh! this is too much," he shouted. He would not address me as
|
|
"honoured sir" any more. He was very still for a time, and then with-
|
|
out a trace of humility began very low: "Never go -- ah! He -- he -- he
|
|
comes here devil knows from where -- comes here -- devil knows why --
|
|
to trample on me till I die -- ah -- trample" (he stamped softly with
|
|
both feet), "trample like this -- nobody knows why -- till I die.. .. "
|
|
His voice became quite extinct; he was bothered by a little cough; he
|
|
came up close to the fence and told me, dropping into a confidential
|
|
and piteous tone, that he would not be trampled upon. "Patience --
|
|
patience," he muttered, striking his breast. I had done laughing at
|
|
him, but unexpectedly he treated me to a wild cracked burst of it.
|
|
"Ha! ha! ha! We shall see! We shall see! What! Steal from me! Steal
|
|
from me everything! Everything! Everything! " His head drooped on
|
|
one shoulder, his hands were hanging before him lightly clasped. One
|
|
would have thought he had cherished the girl with surpassing love,
|
|
that his spirit had been crushed and his heart broken by the most cruel
|
|
of spoliations. Suddenly he lifted his head and shot out an infamous
|
|
word. "Like her mother -- she is like her deceitful mother. Exactly.
|
|
In her face too. In her face. The devil! " He leaned his forehead against
|
|
the fence, and in that position uttered threats and horrible blasphem-
|
|
ies in Portuguese in very weak ejaculations, mingled with miserable
|
|
plaints and groans, coming out with a heave of the shoulders as
|
|
though he had been overtaken by a deadly fit of sickness. It was an
|
|
inexpressibly grotesque and vile performance, and I hastened away.
|
|
He tried to shout something after me. Some disparagement of Jim, I
|
|
believe -- not too loud though, we were too near the house . All I heard
|
|
distinctly was, "No more than a little child -- a little child." '
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 35
|
|
|
|
'But next morning, at the first bend of the river shutting off the
|
|
houses of Patusan, all this dropped out of my sight bodily, with its
|
|
colour, its design, and its meaning, like a picture created by fancy on
|
|
a canvas, upon which, after long contemplation, you turn your back
|
|
for the last time. It remains in the memory motionless, unfaded, with
|
|
its life arrested, in an unchanging light. There are the ambitions, the
|
|
fears, the hate, the hopes, and they remain in my mind just as I had
|
|
seen them -- intense and as if for ever suspended in their expression.
|
|
I had turned away from the picture and was going back to the world
|
|
where events move, men change, light flickers, life flows in a clear
|
|
stream, no matter whether over mud or over stones . I wasn't going to
|
|
dive into it; I would have enough to do to keep my head above the
|
|
surface. But as to what I was leaving behind, I cannot imagine any
|
|
alteration. The immense and magnanimous Doramin and his little
|
|
motherly witch of a wife, gazing together upon the land and nursing
|
|
secretly their dreams of parental ambition; Tunku Allang, wizened
|
|
and gready perplexed; Dain Waris, intelligent und brave, with his
|
|
faith in Jim, with his firm glance und his ironic friendliness; the girl,
|
|
absorbed in her frightened, suspicious adoration; Tumb' Itam, surly
|
|
and faithful; Cornelius, leaning his forehead against the fence under
|
|
the moonlight -- I am certain of them. They exist as if under un ench-
|
|
anter's wand. But the figure round which all these are grouped -- that
|
|
one lives, and I am not certain of him. No magician's wand can
|
|
immobilise him under my eyes. He is one of us.
|
|
|
|
'Jim, as I've told you, accompanied me on the first stage of my
|
|
journey back to the world he had renounced, and the way at times
|
|
seemed to lead through the very heart of untouched wilderness. The
|
|
empty reaches sparkled under the high sun; between the high walls
|
|
of vegetation the heat drowsed upon the water, and the boat,impelled
|
|
vigorously, cut her way through the air that seemed to have settled
|
|
dense and warm under the shelter of lofty trees.
|
|
|
|
'The shadow of the impending separation had already put an
|
|
immense space between us, und when we spoke it was with an effort,
|
|
as if to force our low voices across a vast und increasing distance. The
|
|
boat fairly flew; we sweltered side by side in the stagnant superheated
|
|
air; the smell of mud, of mush, the primeval smell of fecund earth,
|
|
seemed to sting our faces; till suddenly at a bend it was as if a great
|
|
hand far away had lifted a heavy curtain, had flung open un immense
|
|
portal. The light itself seemed to stir, the sky above our heads wid-
|
|
ened, a far-off murmur reached our ears, a freshness enveloped us,
|
|
filled our lungs, quickened our thoughts, our blood, our regrets --
|
|
and, straight ahead, the forests sank down against the dark-blue ridge
|
|
of the sea.
|
|
|
|
'I breathed deeply, I revelled in the vastness of the opened horizon,
|
|
in the different atmosphere that seemed to vibrate with the toil of life,
|
|
with the energy of an impeccable world. This sky and this sea were
|
|
open to me. The girl was right -- there was a sign, a call in them --
|
|
something to which I responded with every fibre of my being. I let
|
|
my eyes roam through space, like a man released from bonds who
|
|
stretches his cramped limbs, runs, leaps, responds to the inspiring
|
|
elation of freedom. "This is glorious!" I cried, und then I looked at
|
|
the sinner by my side . He sat with his head sunk on his breast and said
|
|
"Yes," without raising his eyes, as if afraid to see writ large on the
|
|
clear sky of the offing the reproach of his romantic conscience.
|
|
|
|
'I remember the smallest details of that afternoon. We landed on a
|
|
bit of white beach. It was backed by a low cliff wooded on the brow,
|
|
draped in creepers to the very foot. Below us the plain of the sea, of
|
|
a serene and intense blue, stretched with a slight upward tilt to the
|
|
thread-like horizon drawn at the height of our eyes. Great waves of
|
|
glitter blew lightly along the pitted dark surface, as swift as feathers
|
|
chased by the breeze . A chain of islands sat broken and massive facing
|
|
the wide estuary, displayed in a sheet of pale glassy water reflecting
|
|
faithfully the contour of the shore. High in the colourless sunshine a
|
|
solitary bird, all black, hovered, dropping and soaring above the
|
|
same spot with a slight rocking motion of the wings. A ragged, sooty
|
|
bunch of flimsy mat hovels was perched over its own inverted image
|
|
upon a crooked multitude of high piles the colour of ebony. A tiny
|
|
black canoe put off from amongst them with two tiny men, all black,
|
|
who toiled exceedingly, striking down at the pale water: and the
|
|
canoe seemed to slide painfully on a mirror. This bunch of miserable
|
|
hovels was the fishing village that boasted of the white lord's especial
|
|
protection, and the two men crossing over were the old headman and
|
|
his son-in-law. They landed and walked up to us on the white sand,
|
|
lean, dark-brown as if dried in smoke, with ashy patches on the skin
|
|
of their naked shoulders and breasts . Their heads were bound in dirty
|
|
but carefully folded headkerchiefs, and the old man began at once to
|
|
state a complaint, voluble, stretching a lank arm, screwing up at Jim
|
|
his old bleared eyes confidently . The Rajah's people would not leave
|
|
them alone; there had been some trouble about a lot of turtles' eggs
|
|
his people had collected on the islets there -- and leaning at arm's-
|
|
length upon his paddle, he pointed with a brown skinny hand over
|
|
the sea. Jim listened for a time without looking up, und at last told
|
|
him gently to wait. He would hear him by-and-by. They withdrew
|
|
obediently to some little distance, and sat on their heels, with their
|
|
paddles lying before them on the sand; the silvery gleams in their
|
|
eyes followed our movements patiently; and the immensity of the
|
|
outspread sea, the stillness of the coast, passing north and south
|
|
beyond the limits of my vision, made up one colossal Presence watch-
|
|
ing us four dwarfs isolated on a strip of glistening sand.
|
|
|
|
' "The trouble is," remarked Jim moodily, "that for generations
|
|
these beggars of fishermen in that village there had been considered
|
|
as the Rajah's personal slaves -- and the old rip can't get it into his head
|
|
that . . ."
|
|
|
|
'He paused. "That you have changed all that," I said.
|
|
|
|
' "Yes I've changed all that," he muttered in a gloomy voice.
|
|
|
|
' "You have had your opportunity," I pursued.
|
|
|
|
' "Have I?" he said. "Well, yes. I suppose so. Yes. I have got back
|
|
my confidence in myself -- a good name -- yet sometimes I wish . . .
|
|
No! I shall hold what I've got. Can't expect anything more." He flung
|
|
his arm out towards the sea. "Not out there anyhow." He stamped
|
|
his foot upon the sand. "This is my limit, because nothing less will
|
|
do."
|
|
|
|
'We continued pacing the beach. "Yes, I've changed all that," he
|
|
went on, with a sidelong glance at the two patient squatting fisher-
|
|
men; "but only try to think what it would be if I went away. Jove! can't
|
|
you see it? Hell loose. No! To-morrow I shall go and take my chance
|
|
of drinking that silly old Tunku Allung's coffee, und I shall make no
|
|
end of fuss over these rotten turtles' eggs. No. I cun't say -- enough.
|
|
Never. I must go on, go on for ever holding up my end, to feel sure
|
|
that nothing can touch me. I must stick to their belief in me to feel
|
|
safe and to -- to" . . . He cast about for a word, seemed to look for it
|
|
on the sea . . . "to keep in touch with" . . . His voice sank suddenly
|
|
to a murmur . . . "with those whom, perhaps, I shall never see any
|
|
more. "With -- with -- you, for instunce."
|
|
|
|
'I was profoundly humbled by his words. "For God's sake," I said,
|
|
"don't set me up, my dear fellow; just look to yourself." I felt a grati-
|
|
tude, an affection, for that straggler whose eyes had singled me out,
|
|
keeping my place in the ranks of an insignificant multitude. How
|
|
little that was to boast of, after all! I turned my burning face away;
|
|
under the low sun, glowing, darkened and crimson, like un ember
|
|
snatched from the fire, the sea lay outspread, offering all its immense
|
|
stillness to the approach of the fiery orb. Twice he was going to speak,
|
|
but checked himself; at last, as if he had found a formula --
|
|
|
|
' "I shall be faithful," he said quietly. "I shall be faithful," he
|
|
repeated, without looking at me, but for the first time letting his eyes
|
|
wander upon the waters, whose blueness had changed to a gloomy
|
|
purple under the fires of sunset. Ah! he was romantic, romantic. I
|
|
recalled some words of Stein's.... "In the destructive element
|
|
immerse! . . . To follow the dream, and again to follow the dream --
|
|
and so -- always -- usque ad finem . . ." He was romantic, but none the
|
|
less true. Who could tell what forms, what visions, what faces, what
|
|
forgiveness he could see in the glow of the west! . . . A small boat,
|
|
leaving the schooner, moved slowly, with a regular beat of two oars,
|
|
towards the sandbank to take me off. "And then there's Jewel," he
|
|
said, out of the great silence of earth, sky, and sea, which had mas-
|
|
tered my very thoughts so that his voice made me start. "There's
|
|
Jewel. " "Yes," I murmured. "I need not tell you what she is to me,"
|
|
he pursued. "You've seen. In time she will come to understand . . . "
|
|
"I hope so," I interrupted. "She trusts me, too," he mused, and then
|
|
changed his tone. "When shall we meet next, I wonder?" he said.
|
|
|
|
' "Never -- unless you come out," I answered, avoiding his glance.
|
|
He didn't seem to be surprised; he kept very quiet for a while.
|
|
|
|
' "Good-bye, then," he said, after a pause. "Perhaps it's just as
|
|
well."
|
|
|
|
'We shook hands, and I walked to the boat, which waited with her
|
|
nose on the beach. The schooner, her mainsail set and jib-sheet to
|
|
windward, curveted on the purple sea; there was a rosy tinge on her
|
|
sails. "Will you be going home again soon?" asked Jim, just as I
|
|
swung my leg over the gunwale. "In a yeu or so if I live," I said. The
|
|
forefoot grated on the sand, the boat floated, the wet oars flashed and
|
|
dipped once, twice. Jim, at the water's edge, raised his voice. "Tell
|
|
them . . . " he began. I signed to the men to cease rowing, and waited
|
|
in wonder. Tell who? The half-submerged sun faced him; I could
|
|
see its red gleam in his eyes that looked dumbly at me.... "No --
|
|
nothing," he said, and with a slight wave of his hand motioned the
|
|
boat away. I did not look again at the shore till I had clambered on
|
|
board the schooner.
|
|
|
|
'By that time the sun had set. The twilight lay over the east, and
|
|
the coast, turned black, extended infinitely its sombre wall that
|
|
seemed the very stronghold of the night; the western horizon was one
|
|
great blaze of gold and crimson in which a big detached cloud floated
|
|
dark and still, casting a slaty shadow on the water beneath, and I saw
|
|
Jim on the beach watching the schooner fall off and gather headway.
|
|
|
|
'The two half-naked fishermen had arisen as soon as I had gone;
|
|
they were no doubt pouring the plaint of their trifling, miserable,
|
|
oppressed lives into the ears of the white lord, a no doubt he was
|
|
listening to it, making it his own, for was it not a part of his luck -- the
|
|
luck "from the word Go" -- the luck to which he had assured me he
|
|
was so completely equal? They too, I should think, were in luck, and
|
|
I was sure their pertinacity would be equal to it. Their dark-skinned
|
|
bodies vanished on the dark background long before I had lost sight
|
|
of their protector. He was white from head to foot, and remained
|
|
persistently visible with the stronghold of the night at his back, the
|
|
sea at his feet, the opportunity by his side -- still veiled. What do you
|
|
say? Was it still veiled? I don't know. For me that white figure in the
|
|
stillness of coast and sea seemed to stand at the heart of a vast enigma.
|
|
The twilight was ebbing fast from the sky above his head, the strip of
|
|
sand had sunk already under his feet, he himself appeared no bigger
|
|
than a child -- then only a speck, a tiny white speck, that seemed to
|
|
catch all the light left in a darkened world .. .. And, suddenly, I lost
|
|
him. . ..
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 36
|
|
|
|
With these words Marlow had ended his narrative, and his audi-
|
|
ence had broken up forthwith, under his abstract, pensive gaze. Men
|
|
drifted off the verandah in pairs or alone without loss of time, without
|
|
offering a remark, as if the last image of that incomplete story, its
|
|
incompleteness itself, and the very tone of the speaker, had made
|
|
discussion vain and comment impossible. Each of them seemed to
|
|
carry away his own impression, to cary it away with him like a secret;
|
|
but there was only one man of all these listeners who was ever to hear
|
|
the last word of the story. It came to him at home, more than two years
|
|
later, and it came contained in a thick packet addressed in Marlow's
|
|
upright and angular handwriting.
|
|
|
|
The privileged man opened the packet, looked in, then, laying it
|
|
down, went to the window. His rooms were in the highest flat of a
|
|
lofty building, and his glance could travel afar beyond the clear panes
|
|
of glass, as though he were looking out of the lantern of a lighthouse.
|
|
The slopes of the roofs glistened, the dark broken ridges succeeded
|
|
each other without end like sombre, uncrested waves, and from the
|
|
depths of the town under his feet ascended a confused and unceasing
|
|
mutter. The spires of churches, numerous, scattered haphazard,
|
|
uprose like beacons on a maze of shoals without a channel; the driving
|
|
rain mingled with the falling dusk of a winter's evening; and the
|
|
booming of a big clock on a tower, striking the hour, rolled past in
|
|
voluminous, austere bursts of sound, with a shrill vibrating cry at the
|
|
core. He drew the heavy curtains.
|
|
|
|
The light of his shaded reading-lamp slept like a sheltered pool, his
|
|
footfalls made no sound on the carpet, his wandering days were over.
|
|
No more horizons as boundless as hope, no more twilights within the
|
|
forests as solemn as temples, in the hot quest for the Ever-undiscov-
|
|
ered Country over the hill, across the stream, beyond the wave. The
|
|
hour was striking! No more! No more! -- but the opened packet under
|
|
the lamp brought back the sounds, the visions, the very savour of the
|
|
past -- a multitude of fading faces, a tumult of low voices, dying away
|
|
upon the shores of distant seas under a passionate and unconsoling
|
|
sunshine. He sighed and sat down to read.
|
|
|
|
At first he saw three distinct enclosures. A good many pages closely
|
|
blackened and pinned together; a loose square sheet of greyish paper
|
|
with a few words traced in a handwriting he had never seen before,
|
|
and an explanatory letter from Marlow. From this last fell another
|
|
letter, yellowed by time and frayed on the folds. He picked it up and,
|
|
laying it aside, turned to Marlow's message, ran swiftly over the open-
|
|
ing lines, and, checking himself, thereafter read on deliberately, like
|
|
one approaching with slow feet and alert eyes the glimpse of an undis-
|
|
covered country.
|
|
|
|
'. . . I don't suppose you've forgotten,' went on the letter. 'You
|
|
alone have showed an interest in him that survived the telling of his
|
|
story, though I remember well you would not admit he had mastered
|
|
his fate. You prophesied for him the disaster of weariness and of dis-
|
|
gust with acquired honour, with the self-appointed task, with the
|
|
love sprung from pity and youth. You had said you knew so well "that
|
|
kind of thing," its illusory satisfaction, its unavoidable deception.
|
|
You said also -- I call to mind -- that "giving your life up to them" (them
|
|
meaning all of mankind with skins brown, yellow, or black in colour)
|
|
"was like selling your soul to a brute." You contended that "that kind
|
|
of thing" was only endurable and enduring when based on a firm con-
|
|
viction in the truth of ideas racially our own, in whose name are estab-
|
|
lished the order, the morality of an ethical progress. "We want its
|
|
strength at our backs," you had said. "We want a belief in its necessity
|
|
and its justice, to make a worthy and conscious sacrifice of our lives.
|
|
Without it the sacrifice is only forgetfulness, the way of offering is no
|
|
better than the way to perdition." In other words, you maintained
|
|
that we must fight in the ranks or our lives don't count. Possibly! You
|
|
ought to know -- be it said without malice -- you who have rushed
|
|
into one or two places single-handed and came out cleverly, without
|
|
singeing your wings. The point, however, is that of all mankind Jim
|
|
had no dealings but with himself, and the question is whether at the
|
|
last he had not confessed to a faith mightier than the laws of order and
|
|
progress.
|
|
|
|
'I affirm nothing. Perhaps you may pronounce -- after you've read.
|
|
There is much truth -- after all -- in the common expression "under a
|
|
cloud." It is impossible to see him clearly -- especially as it is through
|
|
the eyes of others that we take our last look at him. I have no hesitation
|
|
in imparting to you all I know of the last episode that, as he used to
|
|
say, had "come to him." One wonders whether this was perhaps that
|
|
supreme opportunity, that last and satisfying test for which I had
|
|
always suspected him to be waiting, before he could frame a message
|
|
to the impeccable world. You remember that when I was leaving him
|
|
for the last time he had asked whether I would be going home soon,
|
|
and suddenly cried after me, "Tell them . . ." I had waited -- curious
|
|
I'll own, and hopeful too -- only to hear him shout, "No -- nothing."
|
|
That was all then -- and there will be nothing more; there will be no
|
|
message, unless such as each of us can interpret for himself from the
|
|
language of facts, that are so often more enigmatic than the craftiest
|
|
arrangement of words. He made, it is true, one more attempt to
|
|
deliver himself; but that too failed, as you may perceive if you look at
|
|
the sheet of greyish foolscap enclosed here. He had tried to write; do
|
|
you notice the commonplace hand? It is headed "The Fort, Patu-
|
|
sun." I suppose he had carried out his intention of making out of his
|
|
house a place of defence. It was an excellent plan: a deep ditch, an
|
|
earth wall topped by a palisade, and at the angles guns mounted on
|
|
platforms to sweep each side of the square. Doramin had agreed to
|
|
furnish him the guns; and so each man of his party would know there
|
|
was a place of safety, upon which every faithful partisan could rally
|
|
in case of some sudden danger. All this showed his judicious fore-
|
|
sight, his faith in the future. What he called "my own people" -- the
|
|
liberated captives of the Sherif -- were to make a distinct quarter of
|
|
Patusan, with their huts and little plots of ground under the walls of
|
|
the stronghold. Within he would be an invincible host in himself
|
|
"The Fort, Patusan." No date, as you observe. What is a number and
|
|
a name to a day of days? It is also impossible to say whom he had in
|
|
his mind when he seized the pen: Stein -- myself -- the world at large --
|
|
or was this only the aimless startled cry of a solitary man confronted
|
|
by his fate? "An awful thing has happened," he wrote before he flung
|
|
the pen down for the first time; look at the ink blot resembling the
|
|
head of an arrow under these words. After a while he had tried again,
|
|
scrawling heavily, as if with a hand of lead, another line. "I must now
|
|
at once . . ." The pen had spluttered, and that time he gave it up.
|
|
There's nothing more; he had seen a broad gulf that neither eye nor
|
|
voice could span. I can understand this. He was overwhelmed by the
|
|
inexplicable; he was overwhelmed by his own personality -- the gift
|
|
of that destiny which he had done his best to master.
|
|
|
|
'I send you also an old letter -- a very old letter. It was found care-
|
|
fully preserved in his writing-case. It is from his father, and by the
|
|
date you can see he must have received it a few days before he joined
|
|
the Patna. Thus it must be the last letter he ever had from home. He
|
|
had treasured it all these years. The good old parson fancied his sailor
|
|
son. I've looked in at a sentence here and there. There is nothing in it
|
|
except just affection. He tells his "dear James" that the last long letter
|
|
from him was very "honest and entertaining." He would not have
|
|
him "judge men harshly or hastily. " There are four pages of it, easy
|
|
morality and family news. Tom had "taken orders." Carrie's hus-
|
|
band had "money losses." The old chap goes on equably trusting
|
|
Providence and the established order of the universe, but alive to its
|
|
small dangers and its small mercies. One can almost see him, grey-
|
|
haired and serene in the inviolable shelter of his book-lined, faded,
|
|
and comfortable study, where for forty years he had conscientiously
|
|
gone over and over again the round of his little thoughts about faith
|
|
and virtue, about the conduct of life and the only proper manner of
|
|
dying; where he had written so many sermons, where he sits talking
|
|
to his boy, over there, on the other side of the earth. But what of the
|
|
distance? Virtue is one all over the world, and there is only one faith,
|
|
one conceivable conduct of life, one manner of dying. He hopes his
|
|
"dear James" will never forget that "who once gives way to temp-
|
|
tation, in the very instant hazards his total depravity and everlasting
|
|
ruin. Therefore resolve fixedly never, through any possible motives,
|
|
to do anything which you believe to be wrong." There is also some
|
|
news of a favourite dog; and a pony, "which all you boys used to ride,"
|
|
had gone blind from old age and had to be shot. The old chap invokes
|
|
Heaven's blessing; the mother and all the girls then at home send
|
|
their love.... No, there is nothing much in that yellow frayed letter
|
|
fluttering out of his cherishing grasp after so many years. It was never
|
|
answered, but who can say what converse he may have held with all
|
|
these placid, colourless forms of men and women peopling that quiet
|
|
corner of the world as free of danger or strife as a tomb, and breathing
|
|
equably the air of undisturbed rectitude. It seems amazing that he
|
|
should belong to it, he to whom so many things "had come. "Nothing
|
|
ever came to them; they would never be taken unawares, and never
|
|
be called upon to grapple with fate. Here they all are, evoked by the
|
|
mild gossip of the father, all these brothers and sisters, bone of his
|
|
bone and flesh of his flesh, gazing with clear unconscious eyes, while
|
|
I seem to see him, returned at last, no longer a mere white speck at
|
|
the heart of an immense mystery, but of full stature, standing disre-
|
|
garded amongst their untroubled shapes, with a stern and romantic
|
|
aspect, but always mute, dark -- under a cloud.
|
|
|
|
'The story of the last events you will find in the few pages enclosed
|
|
here. You must admit that it is romantic beyond the wildest dreams
|
|
of his boyhood, and yet there is to my mind a sort of profound and
|
|
terrifying logic in it, as if it were our imagination alone that could
|
|
set loose upon us the might of an overwhelming destiny. The
|
|
imprudence of our thoughts recoils upon our heads; who toys with
|
|
the sword shall perish by the sword. This astounding adventure,
|
|
of which the most astounding part is that it is true, comes on as an
|
|
unavoidable consequence. Something of the sort had to happen.
|
|
You repeat this to yourself while you marvel that such a thing could
|
|
happen in the year of grace before last. But it has happened -- and
|
|
there is no disputing its logic.
|
|
|
|
'I put it down here for you as though I had been an eyewitness.
|
|
My information was fragmentary, but I've fitted the pieces together,
|
|
and there is enough of them to make an intelligible picture. I wonder
|
|
how he would bave related it himself. He has confided so much in
|
|
me that at times it seems as though he must come in presently and
|
|
tell the story in his own words, in his careless yet feeling voice, with
|
|
his offhand manner, a little puzzled, a little bothered, a little hurt,
|
|
but now and then by a word or a phrase giving one of these glimpses
|
|
of his very own self that were never any good for purposes of orien-
|
|
tation. It's difficult to believe he will never come. I shall never hear
|
|
his voice again, nor shall I see his smooth tan-and-pink face with a
|
|
white line on the forehead, and the youthful eyes darkened by
|
|
excitement to a profound, unfathomable blue.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 37
|
|
|
|
'It all begins with a remarkable exploit of a man called Brown,
|
|
who stole with complete success a Spanish schooner out of a small
|
|
bay near Zamboanga. Till I discovered the fellow my information
|
|
was incomplete, but most unexpectedly I did come upon him a few
|
|
hours before he gave up his arrogant ghost. Fortunately he was
|
|
willing and able to talk between the choking fits of asthma, and his
|
|
racked body writhed with malicious exultation at the bare thought
|
|
of Jim. He exulted thus at the idea that he had "paid out the stuck-
|
|
up beggar after all." He gloated over his action. I had to bear the
|
|
sunken glare of his fierce crow-footed eyes if I wanted to know; and
|
|
so I bore it, reflecting how much certain forms of evil are akin
|
|
to madness, derived from intense egoism, inflamed by resistance,
|
|
tearing the soul to pieces, and giving factitious vigour to the body.
|
|
The story also reveals unsuspected depths of cunning in the
|
|
wretched Cornelius, whose abject and intense hate acts like a subtle
|
|
inspiration, pointing out an unerring way towards revenge.
|
|
|
|
' "I could see directly I set my eyes on him what sort of a fool he
|
|
was," gasped the dying Brown. "He a man! Hell! He was a hollow
|
|
sham. As if he couldn't have said straight out, 'Hands off my plun-
|
|
der!' blast him! That would have been like a man! Rot his superior
|
|
soul! He had me there -- but he hadn't devil enough in him to make
|
|
an end of me. Not he! A thing like that letting me off as if I wasn't
|
|
worth a kick! ..." Brown struggled desperately for breath....
|
|
"Fraud.... Letting me off.... And so I did make an end of him
|
|
after all...." He choked again.... "I expect this thing'll kill me,
|
|
but I shall die easy now. You . . . you here . . . I don't know your
|
|
name -- I would give you a five-pound note if -- if I had it -- for the
|
|
news -- or my name's not Brown...." He grinned horribly....
|
|
"Gentleman Brown."
|
|
|
|
'He said all these things in profound gasps, staring at me with
|
|
his yellow eyes out of a long, ravaged, brown face; he jerked his left
|
|
arm; a pepper-and-salt matted beard hung almost into his lap; a
|
|
dirty ragged blanket covered his legs. I had found him out in Ban-
|
|
kok through that busybody Schomberg, the hotel-keeper, who had,
|
|
confidentially, directed me where to look. It appears that a sort of
|
|
loafing, fuddled vagabond -- a white man living amongst the natives
|
|
with a Siamese woman -- had considered it a great privilege to give
|
|
a shelter to the last days of the famous Gentleman Brown. While
|
|
he was talking to me in the wretched hovel, and, as it were, fighting
|
|
for every minute of his life, the Siamese woman, with big bare legs
|
|
and a stupid coarse face, sat in a dark corner chewing betel stolidly.
|
|
Now and then she would get up for the purpose of shooing a chicken
|
|
away from the door. The whole hut shook when she walked. An
|
|
ugly yellow child, naked and pot-bellied like a little heathen god,
|
|
stood at the foot of the couch, finger in mouth, lost in a profound
|
|
and calm contemplation of the dying man.
|
|
|
|
'He talked feverishly; but in the middle of a word, perhaps, an
|
|
invisible hand would take him by the throat, and he would look at
|
|
me dumbly with an expression of doubt and anguish. He seemed
|
|
to fear that I would get tired of waiting and go away, leaving him
|
|
with his tale untold, with his exultation unexpressed. He died dur-
|
|
ing the night, I believe, but by that time I had nothing more to
|
|
learn.
|
|
|
|
'So much as to Brown, for the present.
|
|
|
|
'Eight months before this, coming into Samarang, I went as usual
|
|
to see Stein. On the garden side of the house a Malay on the veran-
|
|
dah greeted me shyly, and I remembered that I had seen him in
|
|
Patusan, in Jim's house, amongst other Bugis men who used to
|
|
come in the evening to talk interminably over their war remi-
|
|
niscences and to discuss State affairs. Jim had pointed him out to
|
|
me once as a respectable petty trader owning a small seagoing native
|
|
craft, who had showed himself "one of the best at the taking of the
|
|
stockade. " I was not very surprised to see him, since any Patusan
|
|
trader venturing as far as Samarang would naturally find his way to
|
|
Stein's house. I returned his greeting and passed on. At the door of
|
|
Stein's room I came upon another Malay in whom I recognised
|
|
Tamb' Itam.
|
|
|
|
'I asked him at once what he was doing there; it occurred to me
|
|
that Jim might have come on a visit. I own I was pleased and excited
|
|
at the thought. Tumb' Itam looked as if he did not know what to say.
|
|
"Is Tuan Jim inside?" I asked impatiently. "No," he mumbled,
|
|
hanging his head for a moment, and then with sudden earnestness,
|
|
"He would not fight. He would not fight," he repeated twice. As
|
|
he seemed unable to say unything else, I pushed him aside and went
|
|
in,
|
|
|
|
'Stein, tall and stooping, stood alone in the middle of the room
|
|
between the rows of butterfly cases. "Ach! is it you, my friend?"
|
|
he said sadly, peering through his glasses. A drab sack-coat of alpaca
|
|
hung, unbuttoned, down to his knees. He had a Panama hat on his
|
|
head, and there were deep furrows on his pale cheeks. "What's the
|
|
matter now?" I asked nervously. "There's Tamb' Itam there...."
|
|
"Come and see the girl. Come and see the girl. She is here," he
|
|
said, with a half-hearted show of activity. I tried to detain him, but
|
|
with gentle obstinacy he would take no notice of my eager questions.
|
|
"She is here, she is here," he repeated, in great perturbation. "They
|
|
came here two days ago. An old man like me, a stranger -- sehen
|
|
Sie -- cannot do much.... Come this way.... Young hearts are
|
|
unforgiving...." I could see he was in utmost distress.... "The
|
|
strength of life in them, the cruel strength of life...." He mum-
|
|
bled, leading me round the house; I followed him, lost in dismal
|
|
and angry conjectures. At the door of the drawing-room he barred
|
|
my way. "He loved her very much," he said interrogatively, and I
|
|
only nodded, feeling so bitterly disappointed that I would not trust
|
|
myself to speak . "Very frightful," he murmured. "She can' t under-
|
|
stand me. I am only a strange old man. Perhaps you . . . she knows
|
|
you. Talk to her. We can't leave it like this. Tell her to forgive him.
|
|
It was very frightful." "No doubt," I said, exasperated at being in
|
|
the dark; "but have you forgiven him?" He looked at me queerly.
|
|
"You shall hear," he said, and opening the door, absolutely pushed
|
|
me in.
|
|
|
|
'You know Stein's big house and the two immense reception-
|
|
rooms, uninhabited and uninhabitable, clean, full of solitude und
|
|
of shining things that look as if never beheld by the eye of man?
|
|
They are cool on the hottest days, and you enter them as you would
|
|
a scrubbed cave underground. I passed through one, and in the
|
|
other I saw the girl sitting at the end of a big mahogany table, on
|
|
which she rested her head, the face hidden in her arms. The waxed
|
|
floor reflected her dimly as though it had been a sheet of frozen
|
|
water. The rattan screens were down, and through the strange
|
|
greenish gloom made by the foliage of the trees outside a strong
|
|
wind blew in gusts, swaying the long draperies of windows and
|
|
doorways. Her white figure seemed shaped in snow; the pendent
|
|
crystals of a great chandelier clicked above her head like glittering
|
|
icicles. She looked up and watched my approach. I was chilled as
|
|
if these vast apartments had been the cold abode of despair.
|
|
|
|
'She recognised me at once, and as soon as I had stopped, looking
|
|
down at her: "He has left me," she said quietly; "you always leave
|
|
us -- for your own ends." Her face was set. All the heat of life seemed
|
|
withdrawn within some inaccessible spot in her breast. "It would
|
|
have been easy to die with him," she went on, and made a slight
|
|
weary gesture as if giving up the incomprehensible. "He would not!
|
|
It was like a blindness -- and yet it was I who was speaking to him;
|
|
it was I who stood before his eyes; it was at me that he looked all
|
|
the time! Ah! you are hard, treacherous, without truth, without
|
|
compassion. What makes you so wicked? Or is it that you are all
|
|
mad?"
|
|
|
|
'I took her hand; it did not respond, and when I dropped it, it
|
|
hung down to the floor. That indifference, more awful than tears,
|
|
cries, and reproaches, seemed to defy time and consolation. You
|
|
felt that nothing you could say would reach the seat of the still and
|
|
benumbing pain.
|
|
|
|
'Stein had said, "You shall hear." I did hear. I heard it all,
|
|
listening with amazement, with awe, to the tones of her inflexible
|
|
weariness. She could not grasp the real sense of what she was telling
|
|
me, and her resentment filled me with pity for her -- for him too. I
|
|
stood rooted to the spot after she had finished. Leaning on her arm,
|
|
she stared with hard eyes, and the wind passed in gusts, the crystals
|
|
kept on clicking in the greenish gloom. She went on whispering to
|
|
herself: "And yet he was looking at me! He could see my face, hear
|
|
my voice, hear my grief! When I used to sit at his feet, with my
|
|
cheek against his knee and his hand on my head, the curse of cruelty
|
|
and madness was already within him, waiting for the day. The day
|
|
came! . . . and before the sun had set he could not see me any
|
|
more -- he was made blind and deaf and without pity, as you all are.
|
|
He shall have no tears from me. Never, never. Not one tear. I will
|
|
not! He went away from me as if I had been worse than death. He
|
|
fled as if driven by some accursed thing he had heard or seen in his
|
|
sleep...."
|
|
|
|
'Her steady eyes seemed to strain after the shape of a man torn
|
|
out of her arms by the strength of a dream. She made no sign to my
|
|
silent bow. I was glad to escape.
|
|
|
|
'I saw her once again, the same afternoon. On leaving her I had
|
|
gone in search of Stein, whom I could not find indoors; and I
|
|
wandered out, pursued by distressful thoughts, into the gardens,
|
|
those famous gardens of Stein, in which you can find every plant
|
|
and tree of tropical lowlands. I followed the course of the canalised
|
|
stream, and sat for a long time on a shaded bench near the ornamen-
|
|
tal pond, where some waterfowl with clipped wings were diving
|
|
and splashing noisily. The branches of casuarina trees behind me
|
|
swayed lightly, incessantly, reminding me of the soughing of fir
|
|
trees at home.
|
|
|
|
'This mournful and restless sound was a fit accompaniment to
|
|
my meditations. She had said he had been driven away from her by
|
|
a dream, -- and there was no answer one could make her -- there
|
|
seemed to be no forgiveness for such a transgression. And yet is not
|
|
mankind itself, pushing on its blind way, driven by a dream of its
|
|
greatness and its power upon the dark paths of excessive cruelty
|
|
and of excessive devotion? And what is the pursuit of truth, after
|
|
all?
|
|
|
|
'When I rose to get back to the house I caught sight of Stein's
|
|
drab coat through a gap in the foliage, and very soon at a turn of
|
|
the path I came upon him walking with the girl. Her little hand
|
|
rested on his forearm, and under the broad, flat rim of his Panama
|
|
hat he bent over her, grey-haired, paternal, with compassionate and
|
|
chivalrous deference. I stood aside, but they stopped, facing me.
|
|
His gaze was bent on the ground at his feet; the girl, erect and slight
|
|
on his arm, stared sombrely beyond my shoulder with black, clear,
|
|
motionless eyes. "Schrecklich," he murmured. "Terrible! Terrible!
|
|
What can one do?" He seemed to be appealing to me, but her youth,
|
|
the length of the days suspended over her head, appealed to me
|
|
more; and suddenly, even as I realised that nothing could be said,
|
|
I found myself pleading his cause for her sake. "You must forgive
|
|
him," I concluded, and my own voice seemed to me muffled, lost
|
|
in un irresponsive deaf immensity. "We all want to be forgiven," I
|
|
added after a while.
|
|
|
|
' "What have I done?" she asked with her lips only.
|
|
|
|
' "You always mistrusted him," I said.
|
|
|
|
' "He was like the others," she pronounced slowly.
|
|
|
|
' "Not like the others," I protested, but she continued evenly,
|
|
without any feeling --
|
|
|
|
' "He was false." And suddenly Stein broke in. "No! no! no! My
|
|
poor child! . . ." He patted her hand lying passively on his sleeve.
|
|
"No! no! Not false! True! True! True!" He tried to look into her
|
|
stony face. "You don't understand. Ach! Why you do not under-
|
|
stand? . . . Terrible," he said to me. "Some day she shall under-
|
|
stand."
|
|
|
|
' "Will you explain?" I asked, looking hard at him. They moved
|
|
on.
|
|
|
|
'I watched them. Her gown trailed on the path, her black hair
|
|
fell loose. She walked upright and light by the side of the tall man,
|
|
whose long shapeless coat hung in perpendicular folds from the
|
|
stooping shoulders, whose feet moved slowly. They disappeared
|
|
beyond that spinney (you may remember) where sixteen different
|
|
kinds of bamboo grow together, all distinguishable to the learned
|
|
eye. For my part, I was fascinated by the exquisite grace and beauty
|
|
of that fluted grove, crowned with pointed leaves and feathery
|
|
heads, the lightness, the vigour, the charm as distinct as a voice of
|
|
that unperplexed luxuriating life. I remember staying to look at it
|
|
for a long time, as one would linger within reach of a consoling
|
|
whisper. The sky was pearly grey. It was one of those overcast
|
|
days so rare in the tropics, in which memories crowd upon one --
|
|
memories of other shores, of other faces.
|
|
|
|
'I drove back to town the same afternoon, taking with me Tamb'
|
|
Itam and the other Malay, in whose seagoing craft they had escaped
|
|
in the bewilderment, fear, and gloom of the disaster. The shock of
|
|
it seemed to have changed their natures. It had turned her passion
|
|
into stone, and it made the surly taciturn Tamb' Itam almost
|
|
loquacious. His surliness, too, was subdued into puzzled humility,
|
|
as though he had seen the failure of a potent charm in a supreme
|
|
moment. The Bugis trader, a shy hesitating man, was very clear in
|
|
the little he had to say. Both were evidently overawed by a sense of
|
|
deep inexpressible wonder, by the touch of an inscrutable mystery.'
|
|
There with Marlow's sigrature the letter proper ended. The
|
|
privileged reader screwed up his lump, and solitary above the bil-
|
|
lowy roofs of the town, like a lighthouse-keeper above the sea, he
|
|
turned to the pages of the story.
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 38
|
|
|
|
'It all begins, as I've told you, with the man called Brown,' ran
|
|
the opening sentence of Marlow's narrative. 'You who have
|
|
knocked about the Western Pacific must have heard of him. He was
|
|
the show ruffian on the Australian coast -- not that he was often to
|
|
be seen there, but because he was always trotted out in the stones
|
|
of lawless life a visitor from home is treated to; and the mildest of
|
|
these stories which were told about him from Cape York to Eden
|
|
Bay was more than enough to hang a man if told in the right place.
|
|
They never failed to let you know, too, that he was supposed to be
|
|
the son of a baronet. Be it as it may, it is certain he had deserted
|
|
from a home ship in the early gold-digging days, and in a few years
|
|
became talked about as the terror of this or that group of islands in
|
|
Polynesia. He would kidnap natives, he would strip some lonely
|
|
white trader to the very pyjamas he stood in, and after he had
|
|
robbed the poor devil, he would as likely as not invite him to fight
|
|
a duel with shot-guns on the beach -- which would have been fair
|
|
enough as these things go, if the other man hadn't been by that time
|
|
already half-dead with fright. Brown was a latter-day buccaneer,
|
|
sorry enough, like his more celebrated prototypes; but what dis-
|
|
tinguished him from his contemporary brother ruffians, like Bully
|
|
Hayes or the mellifluous Pease, or that perfumed, Dundreary-
|
|
whiskered, dandified scoundrel known as Dirty Dick, was the arro-
|
|
gant temper of his misdeeds and a vehement scorn for mankind at
|
|
large and for his victims in particular. The others were merely
|
|
vulgar and greedy brutes, but he seemed moved by some complex
|
|
intention. He would rob a man as if only to demonstrate his poor
|
|
opinion of the creature, and he would bring to the shooting or
|
|
maiming of some quiet, unoffending stranger a savage and vengeful
|
|
earnestness fit to terrify the most reckless of desperadoes. In the
|
|
days of his greatest glory he owned an armed barque, manned by a
|
|
mixed crew of Kanakas and runaway whalers, and boasted, I don't
|
|
know with what truth, of being financed on the quiet by a most
|
|
respectable firm of copra merchants. Later on he ran off -- it was
|
|
reported -- with the wife of a missionary, a very young girl from
|
|
Clapham way, who had married the mild, flat-footed fellow in a
|
|
moment of enthusiasm, and, suddenly transplanted to Melanesia,
|
|
lost her bearings somehow. It was a dark story. She was ill at the
|
|
time he carried her off, and died on board his ship. It is said -- as
|
|
the most wonderful put of the tale -- that over her body he gave
|
|
way to an outburst of sombre and violent grief. His luck left him,
|
|
too, very soon after. He lost his ship on some rocks off Malaita, and
|
|
disappeared for a time as though he had gone down with her. He is
|
|
heard of next at Nuka-Hiva, where he bought an old French
|
|
schooner out of Government service. What creditable enterprise he
|
|
might have had in view when he made that purchase I can't say,
|
|
but it is evident that what with High Commissioners, consuls, men-
|
|
of-war, and international control, the South Seas were getting too
|
|
hot to hold gentlemen of his kidney. Clearly he must have shifted
|
|
the scene of his operations farther west, because a year later he plays
|
|
an incredibly audacious, but not a very profitable part, in a serio-
|
|
comic business in Manila Bay, in which a peculating governor and
|
|
an absconding treasurer are the principal figures; thereafter he
|
|
seems to have hung around the Philippines in his rotten schooner
|
|
battling with un adverse fortune, till at last, running his appointed
|
|
course, he sails into Jim's history, a blind accomplice of the Dark
|
|
Powers.
|
|
|
|
'His tale goes that when a Spanish patrol cutter captured him he
|
|
was simply trying to run a few guns for the insurgents. If so, then
|
|
I can't understand what he was doing off the south coast of Min-
|
|
danao. My belief, however, is that he was blackmailing the native
|
|
villages along the coast. The principal thing is that the cutter,
|
|
throwing a guard on board, made him sail in company towards
|
|
Zamboanga. On the way, for some reason or other, both vessels
|
|
had to call at one of these new Spanish settlements -- which never
|
|
came to anything in the end -- where there was not only a civil
|
|
official in charge on shore, but a good stout coasting schooner lying
|
|
at anchor in the little bay; and this craft, in every way much better
|
|
than his own, Brown made up his mind to steal.
|
|
|
|
'He was down on his luck -- as he told me himself. The world he
|
|
had bullied for twenty years with fierce, aggressive disdain, had
|
|
yielded him nothing in the way of material advantage except a small
|
|
bag of silver dollars, which was concealed in his cabin so that "the
|
|
devil himself couldn't smell it out." And that was all -- absolutely
|
|
all. He was tired of his life, and not afraid of death. But this man,
|
|
who would stake his existence on a whim with a bitter and jeerlng
|
|
recklessness, stood in mortal fear of imprisonment. He had an
|
|
unreasoning cold-sweat, nerve-shaking, blood-to-water-turning
|
|
sort of horror at the bare posibility of being locked up -- the sort
|
|
of terror a superstitious man would feel at the thought ob being
|
|
embraced by a spectre. Therefore the civil official who came on
|
|
board to make a preliminary investigation into the capture, investi-
|
|
gated arduously all day long, and only went ashore after dark, muf-
|
|
fled up in a cloak, and taking great care not to let Brown's little all
|
|
clink in its bag. Afterwards, being a man of his word, he contrived
|
|
(the very next evening, I believe) to send off the Government cutter
|
|
on some urgent bit of special service. As her commander could not
|
|
spare a prize crew, he contented himself by taking away before he
|
|
left all the sails of Brown's schooner to the very last rag, and took
|
|
good care to tow his two boats on to the beach a couple of miles off.
|
|
|
|
'But in Brown's crew there was a Solomon Islander, kidnapped
|
|
in his youth and devoted to Brown, who was the best man of the
|
|
whole gang. That fellow swam off to the coaster -- five hundred
|
|
yards or so -- with the end of a warp made up of all the running gear
|
|
unrove for the purpose. The water was smooth, and the bay dark,
|
|
"like the inside of a cow," as Brown described it. The Solomon
|
|
Islander clambered over the bulwarks with the end of the rope in
|
|
his teeth. The crew of the coaster -- all Tagals -- were ashore having
|
|
a jollification in the native village. The two shikeepers left on board
|
|
woke up suddenly and saw the devil. It had glittering eyes and
|
|
leaped quick as lightning about the deck. They fell on their knees,
|
|
paralysed with fear, crossing themselves and mumbling prayers.
|
|
With a long knife he found in the caboose the Solomon Islander,
|
|
without interrupting their orisons, stabbed first one, then the other;
|
|
with the same knife he st to sawing patiently at the coir table till
|
|
suddenly it parted under the blade with a splash. Then in the silence
|
|
of the bay he let out a cautious shout, and Brown's gang, who
|
|
meantime had been peering and straining their hopeful ears in the
|
|
darkness, began to pull gently at their end of the warp. In less than
|
|
five minutes the two schooners came together with a slight shock
|
|
and a creak of spars.
|
|
|
|
'Brown's crowd trunsferred themselves without losing an instant,
|
|
taking with them their firearms and a large supply of ammunition.
|
|
They were sixteen in all: two runaway blue-jackets, a lanky deserter
|
|
from a Yankee man-of-war, a couple of simple, blond Scandina-
|
|
vians, a mulatto of sorts, one bland Chinaman who cooked -- and
|
|
the rest of the nondescript spawn of the South Seas. None of them
|
|
cared; Brown bent them to his will, and Brown, indifferent to gal-
|
|
lows, was running away from the spectre of a Spanish prison. He
|
|
didn't give them the time to trans-ship enough provisions; the
|
|
weather was calm, the air was charged with dew, and when they
|
|
cast off the ropes and set sail to a faint off-shore draught there was
|
|
no flutter in the damp canvas; their old schooner seemed to detach
|
|
itself gently from the stolen craft and slip away silently, together
|
|
with the black mass of the coast, into the night.
|
|
|
|
'They got clear away. Brown related to me in detail their passage
|
|
down the Straits of Macassar. It is a harowing and desperate story.
|
|
They were short of food and water; they boarded several native
|
|
craft and got a little from each. With a stolen ship Brown did not
|
|
dare to put into any port, of course. He had no money to buy
|
|
anything, no papers to show, and no lie plausible enough to get him
|
|
out again. An Arab barque, under the Dutch flag, surprised one
|
|
night at anchor off Poulo Laut, yielded a little dirty rice, a bunch
|
|
of bananas, and a cask of water; three days of squally, misty weather
|
|
from the north-east shot the schooner across the Java Sea. The
|
|
yellow muddy waves drenched that collection of hungry ruffians.
|
|
They sighted mail-boats moving on their appointed routes; passed
|
|
well-found home ships with rusty iron sides anchored in the shallow
|
|
sea waiting for a change of weather or the turn of the tide; an English
|
|
gunboat, white and trim, with two slim masts, crossed their bows
|
|
one day in the distance; and on another occasion a Dutch corvette,
|
|
black and heavily sparred, loomed up on their quarter, steaming
|
|
dead slow in the mist. They slipped through unseen or disregarded,
|
|
a wan, sallow-faced band of utter outcasts, enraged with hunger
|
|
and hunted by fear. Brown's idea was to make for Madagascar,
|
|
where he expected, on grounds not altogether illusory, to sell the
|
|
schooner in Tamatave, and no questions asked, or perhaps obtain
|
|
some more or less forged papers for her. Yet before he could face
|
|
the long passage across the Indian Ocean food was wanted -- water
|
|
too.
|
|
|
|
'Perhaps he had heard of Patusan -- or perhaps he just only hap-
|
|
pened to see the name written in small letters on the chart -- probably
|
|
that of a largish village up a river in a native state, perfectly defence-
|
|
less, far from the beaten tracks of the sea and from the ends of
|
|
submarine cables. He had done that kind of thing before -- in the
|
|
way of business; and this now was an absolute necessity, a question
|
|
of life and death -- or rather of liberty. Of liberty! He was sure to
|
|
get provisions -- bullocks -- rice -- sweet-potatoes. The sorry gang
|
|
licked their chops. A cargo of produce for the schooner perhaps
|
|
could be extorted -- and, who knows? -- some real ringing coined
|
|
money! Some of these chiefs and village headmen can be made to
|
|
part freely. He told me he would have roasted their toes rather than
|
|
be baulked. I believe him. His men believed him too. They didn't
|
|
cheer aloud, being a dumb pack, but made ready wolfishly.
|
|
|
|
'Luck served him as to weather. A few days of calm would have
|
|
brought unmentionable horrors on board that schooner, but with
|
|
the help of land and sea breezes, in less thdan a week after clearing
|
|
the Sunda Straits, he anchored off the Batu Kring mouth within a
|
|
pistol-shot of the fishing village.
|
|
|
|
'Fourteen of them packed into the schooner's long-boat (which
|
|
was big, having been used for cargo-work) and started up the river,
|
|
while two remained in charge of the schooner with food enough to
|
|
keep starvation off for ten days. The tide and wind helped, and early
|
|
one afternoon the big white boat under a ragged sail shouldered its
|
|
way before the sea breeze into Patusan Reach, manned by fourteen
|
|
assorted scarecrows glaring hungrily ahead, and fingering the
|
|
breech-blocks of cheap rifles. Brown calculated upon the terrifying
|
|
surprise of his appearance. They sailed in with the last of the flood;
|
|
the Rajah's stockade gave no sign; the first houses on both sides of
|
|
the stream seemed deserted. A few canoes were seen up the reach
|
|
in full flight. Brown was astonished at the size of the place. A
|
|
profound silence reigned. The wind dropped between the houses;
|
|
two oars were got out and the boat held on up-stream, the idea
|
|
being to effect a lodgment in the centre of the town before the
|
|
inhabitants could think of resistance.
|
|
|
|
'It seems, however, that the headman of the fishing village at
|
|
Batu Kring had managed to send off a timely warning. When the
|
|
long-boat came abreast of the mosque (which Doramin had built:
|
|
a structure with gables and roof finials of carved coral) the open
|
|
space before it was full of people. A shout went up, and was followed
|
|
by a clash of gongs all up the river. From a point above two little
|
|
brass 6-pounders were discharged, and the round-shot came skip-
|
|
ping down the empty reach, spirting glittering jets of water in the
|
|
sunshine. In front of the mosque a shouting lot of men began firing
|
|
in volleys that whipped athwart the current of the river; an irregu-
|
|
lar, rolling fusillade was opened on the boat from both banks, and
|
|
Brown's men replied with a wild, rapid fire. The oars had been got
|
|
in.
|
|
|
|
'The turn of the tide at high water comes on very quickly in that
|
|
river, and the boat in mid-stream, nearly hidden in smoke, began
|
|
to drift back stern foremost. Along both shores the smoke thickened
|
|
also, lying below the roofs in a level streak as you may see a long
|
|
cloud cutting the slope of a mountain. A tumult of war-cries, the
|
|
vibrating clang of gongs, the deep snoring of drums, yells of rage,
|
|
crashes of volley-firing, made an awful din, in which Brown sat
|
|
confounded but steady at the tiller, working himself into a fury of
|
|
hate and rage against those people who dared to defend themselves.
|
|
Two of his men had been wounded, and he saw his retreat cut off
|
|
below the town by some boats that had put off from Tunku Allang's
|
|
stockade. There were six of them, full of men. While he was thus
|
|
beset he perceived the entrance of the narrow creek (the same which
|
|
Jim had jumped at low water). It was then brim full. Steering the
|
|
long-boat in, they landed, and, to make a long story short, they
|
|
established themselves on a little knoll about 900 yards from the
|
|
stockade, which, in fact, they commanded from that position. The
|
|
slopes of the knoll were bare, but there were a few trees on the
|
|
summit. They went to work cutting these down for a breastwork,
|
|
and were fairly intrenched before dark; meantime the Rajah's boats
|
|
remained in the river with curious neutrality. When the sun set the
|
|
glue of many brushwood blazes lighted on the river-front, and
|
|
between the double line of houses on the land side threw into black
|
|
relief the roofs, the groups of slender palms, the heavy clumps of
|
|
fruit trees. Brown ordered the grass round his position to be fired;
|
|
a low ring of thin flames under the slow ascending smoke wriggled
|
|
rapidly down the slopes of the knoll; here and there a dry bush
|
|
caught with a tall, vicious roar. The conflagration made a clear zone
|
|
of fire for the rifles of the small party, and expired smouldering on
|
|
the edge of the forests and along the muddy bank of the creek. A
|
|
strip of jungle luxuriating in a damp hollow between the knoll and
|
|
the Rajah's stockade stopped it on that side with a great crackling
|
|
and detonations of bursting bamboo stems. The sky was sombre,
|
|
velvety, and swarming with stars. The blackened ground smoked
|
|
quietly with low creeping wisps, till a little breeze came on and blew
|
|
everything away. Brown expected an attack to be delivered as soon
|
|
as the tide had flowed enough again to enable the war-boats which
|
|
had cut off his retreat to enter the creek. At any rate he was sure
|
|
there would be an attempt to carry off his long-boat, which lay
|
|
below the hill, a dark high lump on the feeble sheen of a wet mud-
|
|
flat. But no move of any sort was made by the boats in the river.
|
|
Over the stockade and the Rajah's buildings Brown saw their lights
|
|
on the water. They seemed to be unchored across the stream. Other
|
|
lights afloat were moving in the reach, crossing and recrossing from
|
|
side to side. There were also lights twinkling motionless upon the
|
|
long walls of houses up the reach, as far as the bend, and more still
|
|
beyond, others isolated inland. The loom of the big fires disclosed
|
|
buildings, roofs, black piles as far as he could see. It was an immense
|
|
place. The fourteen desperate invaders lying flat behind the felled
|
|
trees raised their chins to look over at the stir of that town that
|
|
seemed to extend up-river for miles and swarm with thousands of
|
|
ungry men. They did not speak to each other. Now and then they
|
|
would hear a loud yell, or a single shot rang out, fired very far
|
|
somewhere. But round their position everything was still, dark,
|
|
silent. They seemed to be forgotten, as if the excitement keeping
|
|
awake all the population had nothing to do with them, as if they
|
|
had been dead already.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 39
|
|
|
|
'All the events of that night have a great importance, since they
|
|
brought about a situation which remained unchanged till Jim's
|
|
return. Jim had been away in the interior for more than a week,
|
|
and it was Dain Waris who had directed the first repulse. That brave
|
|
and intelligent youth ("who knew how to fight after the manner of
|
|
white men") wished to settle the business off-hand, but his people
|
|
were too much for him. He had not Jim's racial prestige and the
|
|
reputation of invincible, supernatural power. He was not the vis-
|
|
ible, tangible incarnation of unfailing truth and of unfailing victory.
|
|
Beloved, trusted, and admired as he was, he was still one of them,
|
|
while Jim was one of us. Moreover, the white man, a tower of
|
|
strength in himself, was invulnerable, while Dain Waris could be
|
|
killed. Those unexpressed thoughts guided the opinions of the chief
|
|
men of the town, who elected to assemble in Jim's fort for deliber-
|
|
ation upon the emergency, as if expecting to find wisdom and cour-
|
|
age in the dwelling of the absent white man. The shooting of
|
|
Brown's rufffians was so far good, or lucky, that there had been half-
|
|
a-dozen casualties amongst the defenders. The wounded were lying
|
|
on the verandah tended by their women-folk. The women and chil-
|
|
dren from the lower part of the town had been sent into the fort at
|
|
the first alarm. There Jewel was in command, very effficient and
|
|
high-spirited, obeyed by Jim's "own people," who, quitting in a
|
|
body their little settlement under the stockade, had gone in to form
|
|
the garrison. The refugees crowded round her; and through the
|
|
whole affair, to the very disastrous last, she showed an extraordinary
|
|
martial ardour. It was to her that Dain Waris had gone at once at
|
|
the first intelligence of danger, for you must know that Jim was the
|
|
only one in Patusan who possessed a store of gunpowder. Stein,
|
|
with whom he had kept up intimate relations by letters, had
|
|
obtained from the Dutch Government a special authorisation to
|
|
export five hundred kegs of it to Patusan. The powder-magazine
|
|
was a small hut of rough logs covered entirely with earth, and in
|
|
Jim's absence the girl had the key. In the council, held at eleven
|
|
o'clock in the evening in Jim's dining-room, she backed up Waris's
|
|
advice for immediate and vigorous action. I am told that she stood
|
|
up by the side of Jim's empty chair at the head of the long table and
|
|
made a warlike impassioned speech, which for the moment extorted
|
|
murmurs of approbation from the assembled headmen. Old Dora-
|
|
min, who had not showed himself outside his own gate for more
|
|
than a year, had been brought across with great difficulty. He was,
|
|
of course, the chief man there. The temper of the council was very
|
|
unforgiving, and the old man's word would have been decisive; but
|
|
it is my opinion that, well aware of his son's fiery courage, he dared
|
|
not pronounce the word. More dilatory counsels prevailed. A cer-
|
|
tain Haji Saman pointed out at great length that "these tyrannical
|
|
and ferocious men had delivered themselves to a certain death in
|
|
any case. They would stand fast on their hill and starve, or they
|
|
would try to regain their boat and be shot from ambushes across
|
|
the creek, or they would break and fly into the forest and perish
|
|
singly there." He argued that by the use of proper stratagems these
|
|
evil-minded strangers could be destroyed without the risk of a
|
|
battle, and his words had a great weight, especially with the Patusan
|
|
men proper. What unsettled the minds of the townfolk was the
|
|
failure of the Rajah's boats to act at the decisive moment. It was the
|
|
diplomatic Kassim who represented the Rajah at the council. He
|
|
spoke very little, listened smilingly, very friendly and impenetrable.
|
|
During the sitting messengers kept arriving every few minutes
|
|
almost, with reports of the invaders' proceedings. Wild and exag-
|
|
gerated rumours were flying: there was a large ship at the mouth of
|
|
the river with big guns and many more men -- some white, others
|
|
with black skins and of bloodthirsty appearance. They were coming
|
|
with many more boats to exterminate every living thing. A sense of
|
|
near, incomprehensible danger affected the common people. At one
|
|
moment there was a panic in the courtyard amongst the women;
|
|
shrieking; a rush; children crying -- Haji Sunan went out to quiet
|
|
them. Then a fort sentry fired at something moving on the river,
|
|
and nearly killed a villager bringing in his women-folk in a canoe
|
|
together with the best of his domestic utensils and a dozen fowls.
|
|
This caused more confusion. Meantime the palaver inside Jim's
|
|
house went on in the presence of the girl. Doramin sat fierce-faced,
|
|
heavy, looking at the speakers in turn, and breathing slow like a
|
|
bull. He didn't speak till the last, after Kassim had declared that
|
|
the Rajah's boats would be called in because the men were required
|
|
to defend his master's stockade. Dain Waris in his father's presence
|
|
would offer no opinion, though the girl entreated him in Jim's name
|
|
to speak out. She offered him Jim's own men in her anxiety to have
|
|
these intruders driven out at once. He only shook his head, after a
|
|
glance or two at Doramin. Finally, when the council broke up it had
|
|
been decided that the houses nearest the creek should be strongly
|
|
occupied to obtain the commund of the enemy's boat. The boat
|
|
itself was not to be interfered with openly, so that the robbers on
|
|
the hill should be tempted to embark, when a well-directed fire
|
|
would kill most of them, no doubt. To cut off the escape of those
|
|
who might survive, and to prevent more of them coming up, Dain
|
|
Waris was ordered by Doramin to take an armed party of Bugis
|
|
down the river to a certain spot ten miles below Patusan, und there
|
|
form a camp on the shore and blockade the stream with the canoes.
|
|
I don't believe for a moment that Doramin feared the arrival of
|
|
fresh forces. My opinion is that his conduct was guided solely by
|
|
his wish to keep his son out of harm's way. To prevent a rush
|
|
being made into the town the construction of a stockade was to be
|
|
commenced at daylight at the end of the street on the left bank.
|
|
The old nakhoda declared his intention to command there himself.
|
|
A distribution of powder, bullets, und percussion-caps was made
|
|
immediately under the girl's supervision. Several messengers were
|
|
to be dispatched in different directions after Jim, whose exact
|
|
whereabouts were unknown. These men started at dawn, but before
|
|
that time Kassim had managed to open communications with the
|
|
besieged Brown.
|
|
|
|
'That accomplished diplomatist and confidant of the Rajah, on
|
|
leaving the fort to go back to his master, took into his boat Corne-
|
|
lius, whom he found slinking mutely amongst the people in the
|
|
courtyard. Kassim had a little plan of his own and wanted him for
|
|
an interpreter. Thus it came about that towards morning Brown,
|
|
reflecting upon the desperate nature of his position, heard from the
|
|
marshy overgrown hollow an amicable, quavering, strained voice
|
|
crying -- in English -- for permission to come up, under a promise
|
|
of personal safety and on a very important errand. He was over-
|
|
joyed. If he was spoken to he was no longer a hunted wild beast.
|
|
These friendly sounds took off at once the awful stress of vigilant
|
|
watchfulness as of so many blind men not knowing whence the
|
|
deathblow might come. He pretended a great reluctance. The voice
|
|
declared itself "a white man -- a poor, ruined, old man who had
|
|
been living here for years." A mist, wet and chilly, lay on the slopes
|
|
of the hill, and after some more shouting from one to the other,
|
|
Brown called out, "Come on, then, but alone, mind!" As a matter
|
|
of fact -- he told me, writhing with rage at the recollection of his
|
|
helplessness -- it made no difference. They couldn't see more than
|
|
a few yards before them, and no ueachery could make their position
|
|
worse. By-and-by Cornelius, in his week-day attire of a ragged dirty
|
|
shirt and pants, barefooted, with a broken-rimmed pith hat on his
|
|
head, was made out vaguely, sidling up to the defences, hesitating,
|
|
stopping to listen in a peering posture. "Come along! You are safe,"
|
|
yelled Brown, while his men stared. All their hopes of life became
|
|
suddenly centred in that dilapidated, mean newcomer, who in pro-
|
|
found silence clambered clumsily over a felled tree-trunk, and shiv-
|
|
ering, with his sour, mistrustful face, looked about at the knot of
|
|
bearded, anxious, sleepless desperadoes.
|
|
|
|
'Half an hour's confidential talk with Cornelius opened Brown's
|
|
eyes as to the home affairs of Patusan. He was on the alert at once.
|
|
There were possibilities, immense possibilities; but before he would
|
|
talk over Cornelius's proposals he demanded that some food should
|
|
be sent up as a guarantee of good faith. Cornelius went off, creeping
|
|
sluggishly down the hill on the side of the Rajah's palace, and after
|
|
some delay a few of Tunku Allang's men came up, bringing a scanty
|
|
supply of rice, chillies, and dried fish. This was immeasurably bet-
|
|
ter than nothing. Later on Cornelius returned accompanying Kas-
|
|
sim, who stepped out with an air of perfect good-humoured
|
|
trustfulness, in sandals, and muffled up from neck to ankles in
|
|
dark-blue sheeting. He shook hands with Brown discreetly, and the
|
|
three drew aside for a conference. Brown's men, recovering their
|
|
confidence, were slapping each other on the back, and cast knowing
|
|
glances at their captain while they busied themselves with prep-
|
|
arations for cooking.
|
|
|
|
'Kassim disliked Doramin and his Bugis very much, but he hated
|
|
the new order of things still more. It had occurred to him that these
|
|
whites, together with the Rajah's followers, could attack and defeat
|
|
the Bugis before Jim's return. Then, he reasoned, general defection
|
|
of the townfolk was sure to follow, and the reign of the white man
|
|
who protected poor people would be over. Afterwards the new allies
|
|
could be dealt with. They would have no friends. The fellow was
|
|
perfectly able to perceive the difference of character, and had seen
|
|
enough of white men to know that these newcomers were outcasts,
|
|
men without country. Brown preserved a stern and inscrutable
|
|
demeanour. When he first heard Cornelius's voice demanding
|
|
admittance, it brought merely the hope of a loophole for escape. In
|
|
less than an hour other thoughts were seething in his head. Urged
|
|
by an extreme necessity, he had come there to steal food, a few tons
|
|
of rubber or gum may be, perhaps a handful of dollars, and had
|
|
found himself enmeshed by deadly dangers. Now in consequence
|
|
of these overtures from Kassim he began to think of stealing the
|
|
whole country. Some confounded fellow had apparently accom-
|
|
plished something of the kind -- single-handed at that. Couldn't
|
|
have done it very well though. Perhaps they could work together --
|
|
squeeze everything dry and then go out quietly. In the course of his
|
|
negotiations with Kassim he became aware that he was supposed to
|
|
have a big ship with plenty of men outside. Kassim begged him
|
|
earnestly to have this big ship with his many guns and men brought
|
|
up the river without delay for the Rajah's service. Brown professed
|
|
himself willing, and on this basis the negotiation was carried on
|
|
with mutual distrust. Three times in the course of the morning the
|
|
courteous and active Kassim went down to consult the Rajah and
|
|
came up busily with his long stride. Brown, while bargaining, had
|
|
a sort of grim enjoyment in thinking of his wretched schooner, with
|
|
nothing but a heap of dirt in her hold, that stood for an armed ship,
|
|
and a Chinaman and a lame ex-beachcomber of Levuka on board,
|
|
who represented all his many men. In the afternoon he obtained
|
|
further doles of food, a promise of some money, and a supply of
|
|
mats for his men to make shelters for themselves. They lay down
|
|
and snored, protected from the burning sunshine; but Brown, sit-
|
|
ting fully exposed on one of the felled trees, feasted his eyes upon
|
|
the view of the town and the river. There was much loot there.
|
|
Cornelius, who had made himself at home in the camp, talked at
|
|
his elbow, pointing out the localities, imparting advice, giving his
|
|
own version of Jim's character, and commenting in his own fashion
|
|
upon the events of the last three years. Brown, who, apparently
|
|
indifferent and gazing away, listened with attention to every word,
|
|
could not make out clearly what sort of man this Jim could be.
|
|
"What's his name? Jim! Jim! That's not enough for a man's name."
|
|
"They call him," said Cornelius scornfully, "Tuan Jim here. As
|
|
you may say Lord Jim." "What is he? Where does he come from?"
|
|
inquired Brown. "What sort of man is he? Is he an Englishman?"
|
|
"Yes, yes, he's an Englishman. I am an Englishman too. From
|
|
Malacca. He is a fool. All you have to do is to kill him and then you
|
|
are king here. Everything belongs to him," explained Cornelius.
|
|
"It strikes me he may be made to share with somebody before very
|
|
long," commented Brown half aloud. "No, no. The proper way is
|
|
to kill him the first chance you get, and then you can do what you
|
|
like," Cornelius would insist earnestly. "I have lived for many years
|
|
here, and I am giving you a friend's advice."
|
|
|
|
'In such converse and in gloating over the view of Patusan, which
|
|
he had determined in his mind should become his prey, Brown
|
|
whiled away most of the afternoon, his men, meantime, resting.
|
|
On that day Dain Waris's fleet of canoes stole one by one under the
|
|
shore farthest from the creek, and went down to close the river
|
|
against his retreat. Of this Brown was not aware, and Kassim, who
|
|
came up the knoll an hour before sunset, took good care not to
|
|
enlighten him. He wanted the white man's ship to come up the
|
|
river, and this news, he feared, would be discouraging. He was very
|
|
pressing with Brown to send the "order," offering at the same time
|
|
a trusty messenger, who for greater secrecy (as he explained) would
|
|
make his way by land to the mouth of the river and deliver the
|
|
"order" on board. After some reflection Brown judged it expedient
|
|
to tear a page out of his pocket-book, on which he simply wrote,
|
|
"We are getting on. Big job. Detain the man." The stolid youth
|
|
selected by Kassim for that service performed it faithfully, and was
|
|
rewarded by being suddenly tipped, head first, into the schooner's
|
|
empty hold by the ex-beachcomber and the Chinaman, who there-
|
|
upon hastened to put on the hatches. What became of him after-
|
|
wards Brown did not say.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 40
|
|
|
|
'Brown's object was to gain time by fooling with Kassim's diplo-
|
|
macy. For doing a real stroke of business he could not help thinking
|
|
the white man was the person to work with. He could not imagine
|
|
such a chap (who must be confoundedly clever after all to get hold
|
|
of the natives like that) refusing a help that would do away with the
|
|
necessity for slow, cautious, risky cheating, that imposed itself as
|
|
the only possible line of conduct for a single-handed man. He,
|
|
Brown, would offer him the power. No man could hesitate. Every-
|
|
thing was in coming to a clear understanding. Of course they would
|
|
share. The idea of there being a fort -- all ready to his hand -- a real
|
|
fort, with artillery (he knew this from Cornelius), excited him. Let
|
|
him only once get in and . . . He would impose modest conditions.
|
|
Not too low, though. The man was no fool, it seemed. They would
|
|
work like brothers till . . . till the time came for a quarrel and a
|
|
shot that would settle all accounts. With grim impatience of plunder
|
|
he wished himself to be talking with the man now. The land already
|
|
seemed to be his to tear to pieces, squeeze, and throw away. Mean-
|
|
time Kassim had to be fooled for the sake of food first -- and for a
|
|
second string. But the principal thing was to get something to eat
|
|
from day to day. Besides, he was not averse to begin fighting on
|
|
that Rajah's account, and teach a lesson to those people who had
|
|
received him with shots. The lust of battle was upon him.
|
|
|
|
'I am sorry that I can't give you this part of the story, which of
|
|
course I have mainly from Brown, in Brown's own words. There
|
|
was in the broken, violent speech of that man, unveiling before
|
|
me his thoughts with the very hand of Death upon his throat, an
|
|
undisguised ruthlessness of purpose, a strange vengeful attitude
|
|
towards his own past, and a blind belief in the righteousness of his
|
|
will against all mankind, something of that feeling which could
|
|
induce the leader of a horde of wandering cut-throats to call himself
|
|
proudly the Scourge of God. No doubt the natural senseless fero-
|
|
city which is the basis of such a character was exasperated by failure
|
|
ill-luck, and the recent privations, as well as by the desperate posi-
|
|
tion in which he found himself; but what was most remarkable of
|
|
all was this, that while he planned treacherous alliances, had already
|
|
settled in his own mind the fate of the white man, and intrigued in
|
|
an overbearing, offhand manner with Kassim, one could perceive
|
|
that what he had really desired, almost in spite of himself, was to
|
|
play havoc with that jungle town which had defied him, to see it
|
|
strewn over with corpses and enveloped in flames. Listening to his
|
|
pitiless, panting voice, I could imagine how he must have looked at
|
|
it from the hillock, peopling it with images of murder and rapine.
|
|
The part nearest to the creek wore an abandoned aspect, though as
|
|
a matter of fact every house concealed a few armed men on the alert.
|
|
Suddenly beyond the stretch of waste ground, interspersed with
|
|
small patches of low dense bush, excavations, heaps of rubbish,
|
|
with trodden paths between, a man, solitary and looking very small,
|
|
strolled out into the deserted opening of the street between the
|
|
shut-up, dark, lifeless buildings at the end. Perhaps one of the
|
|
inhabitants, who had fled to the other bank of the river, coming
|
|
back for some object of domestic use. Evidently he supposed him-
|
|
self quite safe at that distance from the hill on the other side of the
|
|
creek. A light stockade, set up hastily, was just round the turn of
|
|
the street, full of his friends. He moved leisurely. Brown saw him,
|
|
and instantly called to his side the Yankee deserter, who acted as a
|
|
sort of second in command. This lanky, loose-jointed fellow came
|
|
forward, wooden-faced, trailing his rifle lazily. When he understood
|
|
what was wanted from him a homicidal and conceited smile
|
|
uncovered his teeth, making two deep folds down his sallow, leath-
|
|
ery cheeks. He prided himself on being a dead shot. He dropped on
|
|
one knee, and taking aim from a steady rest through the unlopped
|
|
branches of a felled tree, fired, and at once stood up to look. The
|
|
man, far away, turned his head to the report, made another step
|
|
forward, seemed to hesitate, and abruptly got down on his hands
|
|
and knees. In the silence that fell upon the sharp crack of the rifle,
|
|
the dead shot, keeping his eyes fixed upon the quarry, guessed that
|
|
"this there coon's health would never be a source of anxiety to his
|
|
friends any more." The man's limbs were seen to move rapidly
|
|
under his body in an endeavour to run on all-fours. In that empty
|
|
space arose a multitudinous shout of dismay and surprise. The man
|
|
sank flat, face down, and moved no more. "That showed them what
|
|
we could do," said Brown to me. "Struck the fear of sudden death
|
|
into them. That was what we wanted. They were two hundred to
|
|
one, and this gave them something to think over for the night. Not
|
|
one of them had an idea of such a long shot before. That beggar
|
|
belonging to the Rajah scooted down-hill with his eyes hanging out
|
|
of his head."
|
|
|
|
'As he was telling me this he tried with a shaking hand to wipe
|
|
the thin foam on his blue lips. "Two hundred to one. Two hundred
|
|
to one ..strike terror ..terror, terror, I tell you..." His
|
|
own eyes were starting out of their sockets. He fell back, clawing
|
|
the air with skinny fingers, sat up again, bowed and hairy, glared
|
|
at me sideways like some man-beast of folk-lore, with open mouth
|
|
in his miserable and awful agony before he got his speech back after
|
|
that fit. There are sights one never forgets.
|
|
|
|
'Furthermore, to draw the enemy's fire and locate such parties
|
|
as might have been hiding in the bushes along the creek, Brown
|
|
ordered the Solomon Islander to go down to the boat and bring an
|
|
oar, as you send a spaniel after a stick into the water. This failed,
|
|
and the fellow came back without a single shot having been fired at
|
|
him from anywhere. "There's nobody," opined some of the men.
|
|
It is "onnatural," remarked the Yankee. Kassim had gone, by that
|
|
time, very much impressed, pleased too, and also uneasy. Pursuing
|
|
his tortuous policy, he had dispatched a message to Dain Waris
|
|
warning him to look out for the white men's ship, which, he had
|
|
had information, was about to come up the river. He minimised its
|
|
strength and exhorted him to oppose its passage. This double-deal-
|
|
ing answered his purpose, which was to keep the Bugis forces div-
|
|
ided and to weaken them by fighting. On the other hand, he had in
|
|
the course of that day sent word to the assembled Bugis chiefs in
|
|
town, assuring them that he was trying to induce the invaders to
|
|
retire; his messages to the fort asked earnestly for powder for the
|
|
Rajah's men. It was a long time since Tunku Allang had had ammu-
|
|
nition for the score or so of old muskets rusting in their arm-racks
|
|
in the audience-hall. The open intercourse between the hill and the
|
|
palace unsettled all the minds. It was already time for men to take
|
|
sides, it began to be said. There would soon be much bloodshed,
|
|
and thereafter great trouble for many people. The social fabric of
|
|
orderly, peaceful life, when every man was sure of to-morrow, the
|
|
edifice raised by Jim's hands, seemed on that evening ready to
|
|
collapse into a ruin reeking with blood. The poorer folk were
|
|
already taking to the bush or flying up the river. A good many of
|
|
the upper class judged it necessary to go and pay their court to the
|
|
Rajah. The Rajah's youths jostled them rudely. Old Tunku Allang,
|
|
almost out of his mind with fear and indecision, either kept a sullen
|
|
silence or abused them violently for daring to come with empty
|
|
hands: they departed very much frightened; only old Doramin kept
|
|
his countrymen together and pursued his tactics inflexibly.
|
|
Enthroned in a big chair behind the improvised stockade, he issued
|
|
his orders in a deep veiled rumble, unmoved, like a deaf man, in
|
|
the flying rumours.
|
|
|
|
'Dusk fell, hiding first the body of the dead man, which had been
|
|
left lying with arms outstretched as if nailed to the ground, and
|
|
then the revolving sphere of the night rolled smoothly over Patusan
|
|
and came to a rest, showering the glitter of countless worlds upon
|
|
the earth. Again, in the exposed part of the town big fires blazed
|
|
along the only street, revealing from distance to distance upon their
|
|
glares the falling straight lines of roofs, the fragments of wattled
|
|
walls jumbled in confusion, here and there a whole hut elevated in
|
|
the glow upon the vertical black stripes of a group of high piles
|
|
and all this line of dwellings, revealed in patches by the swaying
|
|
flames, seemed to flicker tortuously away up-river into the gloom
|
|
at the heart of the land. A great silence, in which the looms of
|
|
successive fires played without noise, extended into the darkness at
|
|
the foot of the hill; but the other bank of the river, all dark save for
|
|
a solitary bonfire at the river-front before the fort, sent out into the
|
|
air an increasing tremor that might have been the stamping of a
|
|
multitude of feet, the hum of many voices, or the fall of an
|
|
immensely distant waterfall. It was then, Brown confessed to me,
|
|
while, turning his back on his men, he sat looking at it all, that
|
|
notwithstanding his disdain, his ruthless faith in himself, a feeling
|
|
came over him that at last he had run his head against a stone wall.
|
|
Had his boat been afloat at the time, he believed he would have
|
|
tried to steal away, taking his chances of a long chase down the river
|
|
and of starvation at sea. It is very doubtful whether he would have
|
|
succeeded in getting away. However, he didn't try this. For another
|
|
moment he had a passing thought of trying to rush the town, but
|
|
he perceived very well that in the end he would find himself in the
|
|
lighted street, where they would be shot down like dogs from the
|
|
houses. They were two hundred to one -- he thought, while his men,
|
|
huddling round two heaps of smouldering embers, munched the
|
|
last of the bananas and roasted the few yams they owed to Kassim's
|
|
diplomacy. Cornelius sat amongst them dozing sulkily.
|
|
|
|
'Then one of the whites remembered that some tobacco had been
|
|
left in the boat, and, encouraged by the impunity of the Solomon
|
|
Islander, said he would go to fetch it. At this all the others shook
|
|
off their despondency. Brown applied to, said, "Go, and be d -- d
|
|
to you," scornfully. He didn't think there was any danger in going
|
|
to the creek in the dark. The man threw a leg over the tree-trunk
|
|
and disappeared. A moment later he was heard clambering into the
|
|
boat and then clambering out. "I've got it," he cried. A flash and
|
|
a report at the very foot of the hill followed. "I am hit," yelled the
|
|
man. "Look out, look out -- I am hit," and instantly all the rifles
|
|
went off. The hill squirted fire and noise into the night like a little
|
|
volcano, and when Brown and the Yankee with curses and cuffs
|
|
stopped the panic-stricken firing, a profound, weary groan floated
|
|
up from the creek, succeeded by a plaint whose heartrending sad-
|
|
ness was like some poison turning the blood cold in the veins. Then
|
|
a strong voice pronounced several distinct incomprehensible words
|
|
somewhere beyond the creek. "Let no one fire," shouted Brown.
|
|
"What does it mean?" . . . "Do you hear on the hill? Do you hear?
|
|
Do you hear?" repeated the voice three times. Cornelius translated,
|
|
and then prompted the answer. "Speak," cried Brown, "we hear."
|
|
Then the voice, declaiming in the sonorous inflated tone of a herald,
|
|
and shifting continually on the edge of the vague waste-land, pro-
|
|
claimed that between the men of the Bugis nation living in Patusan
|
|
and the white men on the hill and those with them, there would be
|
|
no faith, no compassion, no speech, no peace. A bush rustled;
|
|
a haphazard volley rang out. "Dam' foolishness," muttered the
|
|
Yankee, vexedly grounding the butt. Cornelius translated. The
|
|
wounded man below the hill, after crying out twice, "Take me up!
|
|
take me up!" went on complaining in moans. While he had kept on
|
|
the blackened earth of the slope, and afterwards crouching in the
|
|
boat, he had been safe enough. It seems that in his joy at finding
|
|
the tobacco he forgot himself and jumped out on her off-side, as it
|
|
were. The white boat, lying high and dry, showed him up; the
|
|
creek was no more than seven yards wide in that place, and there
|
|
happened to be a man crouching in the bush on the other bank.
|
|
|
|
'He was a Bugis of Tondano only lately come to Patusan, and a
|
|
relation of the man shot in the afternoon. That famous long shot
|
|
had indeed appalled the beholders. The man in utter security had
|
|
been struck down, in full view of his friends, dropping with a joke
|
|
on his lips, and they seemed to see in the act an atrocity which had
|
|
stirred a bitter rage. That relation of his, Si-Lapa by nume, was
|
|
then with Doramin in the stockade only a few feet away. You who
|
|
know these chaps must admit that the fellow showed an unusual
|
|
pluck by volunteering to carry the message, alone, in the dark.
|
|
Creeping across the open ground, he had deviated to the left und
|
|
found himself opposite the boat. He was startled when Brown's
|
|
man shouted. He came to a sitting position with his gun to his
|
|
shoulder, and when the other jumped out, exposing himself, he
|
|
pulled the trigger and lodged three jagged slugs point-blank into
|
|
the poor wretch's stomach. Then, lying flat on his face, he gave
|
|
himself up for dead, while a thin hail of lead chopped and swished
|
|
the bushes close on his right hand; afterwards he delivered his
|
|
speech shouting, bent double, dodging all the time in cover. With
|
|
the last word he leaped sideways, lay close for a while, and after-
|
|
wards got back to the houses unharmed, having achieved on that
|
|
night such a renown as his children will not willingly allow to die.
|
|
|
|
'And on the hill the forlorn band let the two little heaps of embers
|
|
go out under their bowed heads. They sat dejected on the ground
|
|
with compressed lips and downcast eyes, listening to their comrade
|
|
below. He was a strong man and died hard, with moans now loud,
|
|
now sinking to a strange confidential note of pain. Sometimes he
|
|
shrieked, and again, after a period of silence, he could be heard
|
|
muttering deliriously a long and unintelligible complaint. Never
|
|
for a moment did he cease.
|
|
|
|
' "What's the good?" Brown had said unmoved once, seeing the
|
|
Yankee, who had been swearing under his breath, prepare to go
|
|
down. "That's so," assented the deserter, reluctantly desisting.
|
|
"There's no encouragement for wounded men here. Only his noise
|
|
is calculated to make all the others think too much of the hereafter,
|
|
cap'n." "Water!" cried the wounded mun in an extraordinarily
|
|
clear vigorous voice, and then went off moaning feebly. "Ay, water.
|
|
Water will do it," muttered the other to himself, resignedly.
|
|
"Plenty by-and-by. The tide is flowing."
|
|
|
|
'At last the tide flowed, silencing the plaint and the cries of pain,
|
|
and the dawn was near when Brown, sitting with his chin in the
|
|
palm of his hand before Patusan, as one might stare at the unscalable
|
|
side of a mountain, heard the brief ringing bark of a brass 6-pounder
|
|
far away in town somewhere. "What's this?" he asked of Cornelius,
|
|
who hung about him. Cornelius listened. A muffled roaring shout
|
|
rolled down-river over the town; a big drum began to throb, and
|
|
others responded, pulsating and droning. Tiny scattered lights
|
|
began to twinkle in the dark half of the town, while the part lighted
|
|
by the loom of fires hummed with a deep and prolonged murmur.
|
|
"He has come," said Cornelius. "What? Already? Are you sure?"
|
|
Brown asked. "Yes! yes! Sure. Listen to the noise." "What are
|
|
they making that row about?" pursued Brown. "For joy," snorted
|
|
Cornelius; "he is a very great man, but all the same, he knows no
|
|
more than a child, and so they make a great noise to please him,
|
|
because they know no better." "Look here," said Brown, "how is
|
|
one to get at him?" "He shall come to talk to you," Cornelius
|
|
declared. "What do you mean? Come down here strolling as it
|
|
were?" Cornelius nodded vigorously in the dark. "Yes. He will
|
|
come straight here and talk to you. He is just like a fool. You shall
|
|
see what a fool he is." Brown was incredulous. "You shall see; you
|
|
shall see," repeated Cornelius. "He is not afraid -- not afraid of
|
|
anything. He will come and order you to leave his people alone.
|
|
Everybody must leave his people alone. He is like a little child. He
|
|
will come to you straight." Alas! he knew Jim well -- that "mean
|
|
little skunk," as Brown called him to me. "Yes, certainly," he
|
|
pursued with ardour, "and then, captain, you tell that tall man
|
|
with a gun to shoot him. Just you kill him, and you will frighten
|
|
everybody so much that you can do anything you like with them
|
|
afterwards -- get what you like -- go away when you like. Ha! ha!
|
|
ha! Fine . . ." He almost danced with impatience and eagerness;
|
|
and Brown, looking over his shoulder at him, could see, shown up
|
|
by the pitiless dawn, his men drenched with dew, sitting amongst
|
|
the cold ashes and the litter of the camp, haggard, cowed, and in
|
|
rags.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 41
|
|
|
|
'To the very last moment, till the full day came upon them with
|
|
a spring, the fires on the west bank blazed bright and clear; and
|
|
then Brown saw in a knot of coloured figures motionless between
|
|
the advanced houses a man in European clothes, in a helmet, all
|
|
white. "That's him; look! look!" Cornelius said excitedly. All
|
|
Brown's men had sprung up and crowded at his back with lustreless
|
|
eyes. The group of vivid colours and dark faces with the white
|
|
figure in their midst were observing the knoll. Brown could see
|
|
naked arms being raised to shade the eyes and other brown arms
|
|
pointing. What should he do? He looked around, and the forests
|
|
that faced him on all sides walled the cock-pit of an unequal contest.
|
|
He looked once more at his men. A contempt, a weariness, the
|
|
desire of life, the wish to try for one more chance -- for some other
|
|
grave -- struggled in his breast. From the outline the figure pre-
|
|
sented it seemed to him that the white man there, backed up by all
|
|
the power of the land, was examining his position through binocu-
|
|
lars. Brown jumped up on the log, throwing his arms up, the palms
|
|
outwards. The coloured group closed round the white man, and
|
|
fell back twice before he got clear of them, walking slowly alone.
|
|
Brown remained standing on the log till Jim, appearing and disap-
|
|
pearing between the patches of thorny scrub, had nearly reached
|
|
the creek; then Brown jumped off and went down to meet him on
|
|
his side.
|
|
|
|
'They met, I should think, not very far from the place, perhaps
|
|
on the very spot, where Jim took the second desperate leap of his
|
|
life -- the leap that landed him into the life of Patusan, into the trust,
|
|
the love, the confidence of the people. They faced each other across
|
|
the creek, and with steady eyes tried to understand each other
|
|
before they opened their lips. Their antagonism must have been
|
|
expressed in their glances; I know that Brown hated Jim at first
|
|
sight. Whatever hopes he might have had vanished at once. This
|
|
was not the man he had expected to see. He hated him for this --
|
|
and in a checked flannel shirt with sleeves cut off at the elbows,
|
|
grey bearded, with a sunken, sun-blackened face -- he cursed in
|
|
his heart the other's youth and assurance, his clear eyes and his
|
|
untroubled bearing. That fellow had got in a long way before him!
|
|
He did not look like a man who would be willing to give anything
|
|
for assistance. He had all the advantages on his side -- possession,
|
|
security, power; he was on the side of an overwhelming force! He
|
|
was not hungry and desperate, and he did not seem in the least
|
|
afraid. And there was something in the very neatness of Jim's
|
|
clothes, from the white helmet to the canvas leggings and the pipe-
|
|
clayed shoes, which in Brown's sombre irritated eyes seemed to
|
|
belong to things he had in the very shaping of his life contemned
|
|
and flouted.
|
|
|
|
' "Who are you?" asked Jim at last, speaking in his usual voice.
|
|
"My name's Brown," answered the other loudly; "Captain Brown.
|
|
What's yours?" and Jim after a little pause went on quietly, as If he
|
|
had not heard: "What made you come here?" "You want to know,"
|
|
said Brown bitterly. "It's easy to tell. Hunger. And what made
|
|
you?"
|
|
|
|
' "The fellow started at this," said Brown, relating to me the
|
|
opening of this strange conversation between those two men, separ-
|
|
ated only by the muddy bed of a creek, but standing on the opposite
|
|
poles of that conception of life which includes all mankind -- "The
|
|
fellow started at this and got very red in the face. Too big to be
|
|
questioned, I suppose. I told him that if he looked upon me as a
|
|
dead man with whom you may take liberties, he himself was not a
|
|
whit better off really. I had a fellow up there who had a bead drawn
|
|
on him all the time, and only waited for a sign from me. There was
|
|
nothing to be shocked at in this. He had come down of his own free
|
|
will. 'Let us agree,' said I, 'that we are both dead men, and let us
|
|
talk on that basis, as equals. We are all equal before death,' I said.
|
|
I admitted I was there like a rat in a trap, but we had been driven
|
|
to it, and even a trapped rat can give a bite. He caught me up in a
|
|
moment. 'Not if you don't go near the trap till the rat is dead.' I
|
|
told him that sort of game was good enough for these native friends
|
|
of his, but I would have thought him too white to serve even a rat
|
|
so. Yes, I had wanted to talk with him. Not to beg for my life,
|
|
though. My fellows were -- well -- what they were -- men like himself,
|
|
anyhow. All we wanted from him was to come on in the devil's
|
|
name and have it out. 'God d -- n it,' said I, while he stood there as
|
|
still as a wooden post, 'you don't want to come out here every day
|
|
with your glasses to count how many of us are left on our feet.
|
|
Come. Either bring your infernal crowd along or let us go out and
|
|
starve in the open sea, by God! You have been white once, for all
|
|
your tall talk of this being your own people and you being one with
|
|
them. Are you? And what the devil do you get for it; what is it
|
|
you've found here that is so d -- d precious? Hey? You don't want
|
|
us to come down here perhaps -- do you? You are two hundred to
|
|
one. You don't want us to come down into the open. Ah! I promise
|
|
you we shall give you some sport before you've done. You talk
|
|
about me making a cowardly set upon unoffending people. What's
|
|
that to me that they are unoffending, when I am starving for next
|
|
to no offence? But I am not a coward. Don't you be one. Bring
|
|
them along or, by all the fiends, we shall yet manage to send half
|
|
your unoffending town to heaven with us in smoke!' "
|
|
|
|
'He was terrible -- relating this to me -- this tortured skeleton of
|
|
a man drawn up together with his face over his knees, upon a
|
|
miserable bed in that wretched hovel, and lifting his head to look
|
|
at me with malignant triumph.
|
|
|
|
' "That's what I told him -- I knew what to say," he began again,
|
|
feebly at first, but working himself up with incredible speed into a
|
|
fiery utterance of his scorn. " 'We aren't going into the forest to
|
|
wander like a string of living skeletons dropping one after another
|
|
for ants to go to work upon us before we are fairly dead . Oh no! . . . '
|
|
'You don't deserve a better fate,' he said. 'And what do you
|
|
deserve,' I shouted at him, 'you that I find skulking here with your
|
|
mouth full of your responsibility, of innocent lives, of your infernal
|
|
duty? What do you know more of me than I know of you? I came
|
|
here for food. D'ye hear? -- food to fill our bellies. And what did
|
|
you come for? What did you ask for when you came here? We don't
|
|
ask you for anything but to give us a fight or a clear road to go
|
|
back whence we came....' 'I would fight with you now,' says he,
|
|
pulling at his little moustache. 'And I would let you shoot me, and
|
|
welcome,' I said. 'This is as good a jumping-off place for me as
|
|
another. I am sick of my infernal luck. But it would be too easy.
|
|
There are my men in the same boat -- and, by God, I am not the
|
|
sort to jump out of trouble and leave them in a d -- d lurch,' I said.
|
|
He stood thinking for a while and then wanted to know what I had
|
|
done ('out there' he says, tossing his head down-stream) to be hazed
|
|
about so. 'Have we met to tell each other the story of our lives?' I
|
|
asked him. 'Suppose you begin. No? Well, I am sure I don't want
|
|
to hear. Keep it to yourself. I know it is no better than mine. I've
|
|
lived -- and so did you, though you talk as if you were one of those
|
|
people that should have wings so as to go about without touching
|
|
the dirty earth. Well -- it is dirty. I haven't got any wings. I am here
|
|
because I was afraid once in my life. Want to know what of? Of a
|
|
prison. That scares me, and you may know it -- if it's any good to
|
|
you. I won't ask you what scared you into this infernal hole, where
|
|
you seem to have found pretty pickings. That's your luck and this
|
|
is mine -- the privilege to beg for the favour of being shot quickly,
|
|
or else kicked out to go free and starve in my own way.' . . ."
|
|
|
|
'His debilitated body shook with an exultation so vehement, so
|
|
assured, and so malicious that it seemed to have driven off the death
|
|
waiting for him in that hut. The corpse of his mad self-love uprose
|
|
from rags and destitution as from the dark horrors of a tomb. It is
|
|
impossible to say how much he lied to Jim then, how much he lied
|
|
to me now -- and to himself always. Vanity plays lurid tricks with
|
|
our memory, and the truth of every passion wants some pretence
|
|
to make it live. Standing at the gate of the other world in the guise
|
|
of a beggar, he had slapped this world's face, he had spat on it, he
|
|
had thrown upon it an immensity of scorn and revolt at the bottom
|
|
of his misdeeds. He had overcome them all -- men, women, savages,
|
|
traders, ruffians, missionaries -- and Jim -- "that beefy-faced
|
|
beggar." I did not begrudge him this triumph in articulo mortis, this
|
|
almost posthumous illusion of having trampled all the earth under
|
|
his feet. While he was boasting to me, in his sordid and repulsive
|
|
agony, I couldn't help thinking of the chuckling talk relating to
|
|
the time of his greatest splendour when, during a year or more,
|
|
Gentleman Brown's ship was to be seen, for many days on end,
|
|
hovering off an islet befringed with green upon azure, with the dark
|
|
dot of the mission-house on a white beach; while Gentleman Brown,
|
|
ashore, was casting his spells over a romantic girl for whom Melane-
|
|
sia had been too much, and giving hopes of a remarkable conversion
|
|
to her husband. The poor man, some time or other, had been heard
|
|
to express the intention of winning "Captain Brown to a better way
|
|
of life." . . . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory" - as a leery-eyed
|
|
loafer expressed it once -- "just to let them see up above what a
|
|
Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man,
|
|
too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over
|
|
her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never
|
|
tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to
|
|
death by diseased Kanakas if I know. Why, gents! she was too far
|
|
gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there
|
|
on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining
|
|
eyes -- and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess...." I
|
|
remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a
|
|
beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch
|
|
how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immacu-
|
|
late, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he
|
|
couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike,
|
|
to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and
|
|
upside down -- by God!" '
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 42
|
|
|
|
'I don't dlink he could do more than perhaps look upon that
|
|
straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for
|
|
he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim,
|
|
"He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who
|
|
was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating
|
|
and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek
|
|
appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on
|
|
with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's
|
|
soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out
|
|
of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of
|
|
that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he
|
|
had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat -- white men from
|
|
"out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live.
|
|
This was all that came to him -- a menace, a shock, a danger to his
|
|
work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling,
|
|
piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled
|
|
Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men
|
|
owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they
|
|
destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for
|
|
their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a
|
|
satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his
|
|
victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be
|
|
got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself
|
|
as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster.
|
|
The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out.
|
|
As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come
|
|
to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks
|
|
without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for,
|
|
in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest
|
|
calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the
|
|
size of the place, he had resolved instandy in his mind that as soon
|
|
as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin
|
|
by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and
|
|
terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that
|
|
this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining
|
|
his ends -- he agued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this.
|
|
As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these
|
|
had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at
|
|
the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row
|
|
on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing
|
|
of the man, it had been done -- well, it had -- but was not this war,
|
|
bloody war -- in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly,
|
|
shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in
|
|
the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his
|
|
entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life....
|
|
And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a
|
|
man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs.
|
|
When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness,
|
|
whether he himself -- straight now -- didn't understand that when
|
|
"it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else
|
|
went -- three, thirty, three hundred people" -- it was as if a demon
|
|
had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted
|
|
Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me.
|
|
He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as
|
|
thunder -- not at me -- on the ground." He asked Jim whether he
|
|
had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly
|
|
hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means
|
|
that came to hand -- and so on, and so on. And there ran through
|
|
the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood,
|
|
an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of
|
|
common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their
|
|
minds and of their hearts.
|
|
|
|
'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim
|
|
out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood
|
|
thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as
|
|
if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but
|
|
many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men
|
|
with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body
|
|
of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were
|
|
moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability
|
|
of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right
|
|
bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the
|
|
shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people
|
|
that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining
|
|
their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within
|
|
the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen
|
|
of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the
|
|
coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving every-
|
|
thing up as it were -- accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your
|
|
arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender
|
|
our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands.
|
|
You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I
|
|
stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breech-
|
|
loaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I
|
|
ever get so far -- begging my way from ship to ship."
|
|
|
|
'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he
|
|
held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know
|
|
whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted
|
|
me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown;
|
|
"Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me.'
|
|
He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or
|
|
what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you
|
|
come down here for? To pass the time of day?"
|
|
|
|
' "Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long
|
|
silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight.' He turned
|
|
on his heel and walked away.
|
|
|
|
'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had
|
|
seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes
|
|
on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down
|
|
with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown.
|
|
"Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented
|
|
voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an
|
|
amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy.
|
|
"Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at
|
|
him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in
|
|
arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk
|
|
past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his
|
|
new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a
|
|
sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yel-
|
|
low old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there,
|
|
never giving up his fixed idea.
|
|
|
|
'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the
|
|
very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim
|
|
amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes
|
|
had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his:
|
|
there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear
|
|
and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending
|
|
as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a
|
|
fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is
|
|
subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure.
|
|
He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewil-
|
|
derment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care.
|
|
|
|
'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking
|
|
slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced
|
|
to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid
|
|
not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after.
|
|
Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired,
|
|
and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis
|
|
settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then,
|
|
but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam,
|
|
keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes.
|
|
I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to
|
|
you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my
|
|
heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know
|
|
well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then
|
|
his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he,
|
|
Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the
|
|
chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet.
|
|
Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal
|
|
Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk.
|
|
Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What
|
|
was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully.
|
|
However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers
|
|
would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready
|
|
to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away.
|
|
Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the
|
|
gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the
|
|
fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a
|
|
wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity,
|
|
and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted
|
|
out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the
|
|
street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in
|
|
momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the
|
|
threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see
|
|
the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been
|
|
served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man
|
|
would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's
|
|
war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something
|
|
to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the
|
|
two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis
|
|
war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the
|
|
river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in
|
|
them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews
|
|
with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the
|
|
water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that
|
|
he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen
|
|
him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only
|
|
exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the
|
|
landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join
|
|
the chiefs und the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted
|
|
greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her
|
|
way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see
|
|
to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to
|
|
harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to
|
|
pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is
|
|
this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel,
|
|
bloodthirsty robbers bent on ki]ling?" "Let her be," said Jim, and
|
|
as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe."
|
|
He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs
|
|
of satisfaction, had died out.
|
|
|
|
'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have
|
|
his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his
|
|
hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of
|
|
outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master
|
|
was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the
|
|
candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady
|
|
remained by my master's right hand."
|
|
|
|
'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed
|
|
only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now
|
|
waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in
|
|
the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult
|
|
to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffer-
|
|
ing had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been
|
|
lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the
|
|
assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare,
|
|
their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked
|
|
round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that
|
|
they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his cour-
|
|
age . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had
|
|
never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He
|
|
loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He
|
|
was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to
|
|
them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They
|
|
were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil too. Had he ever
|
|
advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the
|
|
people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these
|
|
whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small
|
|
gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to
|
|
let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no
|
|
movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my
|
|
friend, for in this business I shall not lead." '
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 43
|
|
|
|
'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declar-
|
|
ation produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is
|
|
best in my knowledge, which has never deceived you," Jim insisted.
|
|
There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard
|
|
the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin
|
|
raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of
|
|
hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but -- he consented.
|
|
The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go,"
|
|
and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan
|
|
Jim."
|
|
|
|
'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the
|
|
situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithful-
|
|
ness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable
|
|
men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic! --
|
|
Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give
|
|
him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues,
|
|
and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole
|
|
of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separ-
|
|
ation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three
|
|
years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the
|
|
anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last -- a white
|
|
speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the
|
|
darkened seaf -- but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his
|
|
soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and
|
|
insoluble mystery.
|
|
|
|
'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason
|
|
to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough
|
|
frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and
|
|
the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost
|
|
inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted
|
|
and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage
|
|
of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was
|
|
evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur,
|
|
ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason
|
|
that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him
|
|
something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command
|
|
in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his
|
|
fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would
|
|
never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land,"
|
|
he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands,
|
|
taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him
|
|
by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told
|
|
her she would be again in command of the fort for another night.
|
|
"There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are
|
|
in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of
|
|
them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not
|
|
one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very
|
|
bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes
|
|
without being much worse than others," he said after some hesita-
|
|
tion.
|
|
|
|
'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the
|
|
fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of
|
|
the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the
|
|
light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said.
|
|
War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated
|
|
motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling
|
|
in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and
|
|
down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland
|
|
on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard
|
|
in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all
|
|
they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's
|
|
people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the
|
|
morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a
|
|
jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had
|
|
attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away
|
|
the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shoul-
|
|
dered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and
|
|
professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that
|
|
he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men.
|
|
After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and
|
|
that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the
|
|
Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence.
|
|
|
|
'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade com-
|
|
manded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till
|
|
Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy
|
|
point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little
|
|
folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb'
|
|
Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep,
|
|
though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the
|
|
night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with
|
|
bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad.
|
|
Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to
|
|
sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last
|
|
his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said
|
|
softly, "It is time."
|
|
|
|
'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mis-
|
|
sion was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour
|
|
or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were
|
|
to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody
|
|
else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter
|
|
of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known),
|
|
asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is
|
|
important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first
|
|
put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took
|
|
off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and
|
|
gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission,
|
|
Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow
|
|
shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had
|
|
cut down.
|
|
|
|
'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece
|
|
of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as
|
|
soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be
|
|
careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at
|
|
the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance,
|
|
but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the
|
|
paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought
|
|
it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had
|
|
been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during
|
|
the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could
|
|
speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot
|
|
by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching
|
|
in the dusk, perhaps might have been.
|
|
|
|
'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was
|
|
sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could
|
|
tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled
|
|
crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on
|
|
the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money
|
|
from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now
|
|
you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled
|
|
Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop
|
|
by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from
|
|
time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with
|
|
a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party
|
|
down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and
|
|
betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could
|
|
be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Corne-
|
|
lius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was
|
|
another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good
|
|
thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Corne-
|
|
lius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had
|
|
been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear
|
|
as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He
|
|
thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very
|
|
low.... "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed
|
|
me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe
|
|
him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any
|
|
more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for
|
|
you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you
|
|
up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that
|
|
it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached,
|
|
musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater
|
|
broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will
|
|
have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we
|
|
pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore
|
|
with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as
|
|
mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he
|
|
were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to
|
|
get back quick," he explained.
|
|
|
|
'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the
|
|
stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were com-
|
|
ing down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from
|
|
one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of
|
|
the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with
|
|
sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-
|
|
time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of
|
|
illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat
|
|
glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low
|
|
point of land before the Rajah's stockade -- on the very spot where
|
|
for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed
|
|
up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly
|
|
eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at
|
|
the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better
|
|
trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently."
|
|
"Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown.
|
|
|
|
'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside
|
|
the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom
|
|
I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me
|
|
that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to
|
|
grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth
|
|
your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send
|
|
you down something -- a bullock, some yams -- what I can." The
|
|
shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muf-
|
|
fled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners under-
|
|
stood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their
|
|
boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound.
|
|
|
|
'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to
|
|
elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps
|
|
you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock.
|
|
Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole
|
|
everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the
|
|
loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or
|
|
somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said
|
|
Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen,
|
|
not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled,
|
|
condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told
|
|
me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift
|
|
alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of
|
|
sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would
|
|
know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many
|
|
years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this,"
|
|
Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the
|
|
useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius.
|
|
"That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe you
|
|
could find that backway you spoke of blindfold, like this?" Corne-
|
|
lius grunted. "Are you too tired to row?" he asked after a silence.
|
|
"No, by God!" shouted Brown suddenly. "Out with your oars
|
|
there." There was a great knocking in the fog, which after a while
|
|
settled into a regular grind of invisible sweeps against invisible
|
|
thole-pins. Otherwise nothing was changed, and but for the slight
|
|
splash of a dipped blade it was like rowing a balloon car in a cloud,
|
|
said Brown. Thereafter Cornelius did not open his lips except to
|
|
ask querulously for somebody to bale out his canoe, which was
|
|
towing behind the long-boat. Gradually the fog whitened and
|
|
became luminous ahead. To the left Brown saw a darkness as
|
|
though he had been looking at the back of the deputing night. All
|
|
at once a big bough covered with leaves appeared above his head,
|
|
and ends of twigs, dripping and still, curved slenderly close along-
|
|
side. Cornelius, without a word, took the tiller from his hand.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 44
|
|
|
|
'I don't think they spoke together again. The boat entered a
|
|
narrow by-channel, where it was pushed by the oar-blades set into
|
|
crumbling banks, and there was a gloom as if enormous black wings
|
|
had been outspread above the mist that filled its depth to the sum-
|
|
mits of the trees. The branches overhead showered big drops
|
|
through the gloomy fog. At a mutter from Cornelius, Brown
|
|
ordered his men to load. "I'll give you a chance to get even with
|
|
them before we're done, you dismal cripples, you," he said to his
|
|
gang. "Mind you don't throw it away -- you hounds." Low growls
|
|
answered that speech. Cornelius showed much fussy concern for
|
|
the safety of his canoe.
|
|
|
|
'Meantime Tamb' Itam had reached the end of his journey. The
|
|
fog had delayed him a little, but he had paddled steadily, keeping
|
|
in touch with the south bank. By-and-by daylight came like a glow
|
|
in a ground glass globe. The shores made on each side of the river
|
|
a dark smudge, in which one could detect hints of columnar forms
|
|
and shadows of twisted branches high up. The mist was still thick
|
|
on the water, but a good watch was being kept, for as Iamb' Itam
|
|
approached the camp the figures of two men emerged out of the
|
|
white vapour, and voices spoke to him boisterously. He answered,
|
|
and presently a canoe lay alongside, and he exchanged news with
|
|
the paddlers. All was well. The trouble was over. Then the men in
|
|
the canoe let go their grip on the side of his dug-out and incontin-
|
|
ently fell out of sight. He pursued his way till he heard voices
|
|
coming to him quietly over the water, and saw, under the now
|
|
lifting, swirling mist, the glow of many little fires burning on a
|
|
sandy stretch, backed by lofty thin timber and bushes. There again
|
|
a look-out was kept, for he was challenged. He shouted his name
|
|
as the two last sweeps of his paddle ran his canoe up on the strand.
|
|
It was a big camp. Men crouched in many little knots under a
|
|
subdued murmur of early morning talk. Many thin threads of
|
|
smoke curled slowly on the white mist. Little shelters, elevated
|
|
above the ground, had been built for the chiefs. Muskets were
|
|
stacked in small pyramids, and long spears were stuck singly into
|
|
the sand near the fires.
|
|
|
|
'Tamb' Itam, assuming an air of importance, demanded to be led
|
|
to Dain Waris. He found the friend of his white lord lying on a
|
|
raised couch made of bamboo, and sheltered by a sort of shed of
|
|
sticks covered with mats. Dain Waris was awake, and a bright
|
|
fire was burning before his sleeping-place, which resembled a rude
|
|
shrine. The only son of nakhoda Doramin answered his greeting
|
|
kindly. Tamb' Itam began by handing him the ring which vouched
|
|
for the truth of the messenger's words. Dain Waris, reclining on
|
|
his elbow, bade him speak and tell all the news. Beginning with the
|
|
consecrated formula, "The news is good," Tamb' Itam delivered
|
|
Jim's own words. The white men, deputing with the consent of all
|
|
the chiefs, were to be allowed to pass down the river. In unswer to
|
|
a question or two Tamb' Itam then reported the proceedings of the
|
|
last council. Dain Waris listened attentively to the end, toying with
|
|
the ring which ultimately he slipped on the forefinger of his right
|
|
hand. After hearing all he had to say he dismissed Tamb' Itam to
|
|
have food and rest. Orders for the return in the afternoon were
|
|
given immediately. Afterwards Dain Waris lay down again, open-
|
|
eyed, while his personal attendants were preparing his food at the
|
|
fire, by which Tamb' Itam also sat talking to the men who lounged
|
|
up to hear the latest intelligence from the town. The sun was eating
|
|
up the mist. A good watch was kept upon the reach of the main
|
|
stream where the boat of the whites was expected to appear every
|
|
moment.
|
|
|
|
'It was then that Brown took his revenge upon the world
|
|
which, after twenty years of contemptuous and reckless bullying,
|
|
refused him the tribute of a common robber's success. It was an
|
|
act of cold-blooded ferocity, and it consoled him on his death-
|
|
bed like a memory of an indomitable defiance. Stealthily he
|
|
landed his men on the other side of the island opposite to the
|
|
Bugis camp, and led them across. After a short but quite silent
|
|
scuffle, Cornelius, who had tried to slink away at the moment of
|
|
landing, resigned himself to show the way where the undergrowth
|
|
was most sparse. Brown held both his skinny hands together
|
|
behind his back in the grip of one vast fist, and now and then
|
|
impelled him forward with a fierce push. Cornelius remained
|
|
as mute as a fish, abject but faithful to his purpose, whose
|
|
accomplishment loomed before him dimly. At the edge of the
|
|
patch of forest Brown's men spread themselves out in cover and
|
|
waited. The camp was plain from end to end before their eyes,
|
|
and no one looked their way. Nobody even dreamed that the
|
|
white men could have any knowledge of the narrow channel at
|
|
the back of the island. When he judged the moment come, Brown
|
|
yelled, "Let them have it," and fourteen shots rang out like one.
|
|
|
|
'Tamb' Itam told me the surprise was so great that, except for
|
|
those who fell dead or wounded, not a soul of them moved for quite
|
|
an appreciable time after the first discharge. Then a man screamed,
|
|
and after that scream a great yell of amazement and fear went up
|
|
from all the throats. A blind panic drove these men in a surging
|
|
swaying mob to and fro along the shore like a herd of cattle afraid
|
|
of the water. Some few jumped into the river then, but most of
|
|
them did so only after the last discharge. Three times Brown's men
|
|
fired into the ruck, Brown, the only one in view, cursing and yelling,
|
|
"Aim low! aim low!"
|
|
|
|
'Tamb' Itam says that, as for him, he understood at the first
|
|
volley what had happened. Though untouched he fell down and lay
|
|
as if dead, but with his eyes open. At the sound of the first shots
|
|
Dain Waris, reclining on the couch, jumped up and ran out upon
|
|
the open shore, just in time to receive a bullet in his forehead at the
|
|
second discharge. Tamb' Itam saw him fling his arms wide open
|
|
before he fell. Then, he says, a great fear came upon him -- not
|
|
before. The white men retired as they had come -- unseen.
|
|
|
|
'Thus Brown balanced his account with the evil fortune. Notice
|
|
that even in this awful outbreak there is a superiority as of a man
|
|
who carries right -- the abstract thing -- within the envelope of his
|
|
common desires. It was not a vulgar and treacherous massacre; it
|
|
was a lesson, a retribution -- a demonstration of some obscure and
|
|
awful attribute of our nature which, I am afraid, is not so very far
|
|
under the surface as we like to think.
|
|
|
|
'Afterwards the whites depart unseen by Tamb' Itam, and seem
|
|
to vanish from before men's eyes altogether; and the schooner, too,
|
|
vanishes after the manner of stolen goods. But a story is told of a
|
|
white long-boat picked up a month later in the Indian Ocean by a
|
|
cargo steamer. Two parched, yellow, glassy-eyed, whispering skel-
|
|
etons in her recognised the authority of a third, who declared that
|
|
his name was Brown. His schooner, he reported, bound south with
|
|
a cargo of Java sugar, had sprung a bad leak and sank under his
|
|
feet. He and his companions were the survivors of a crew of six.
|
|
The two died on board the steamer which rescued them. Brown
|
|
lived to be seen by me, and I can testify that he had played his part
|
|
to the last.
|
|
|
|
'It seems, however, that in going away they had neglected to cast
|
|
off Cornelius's canoe. Cornelius himself Brown had let go at the
|
|
beginning of the shooting, with a kick for a parting benediction.
|
|
Tamb' Itam, after arising from amongst the dead, saw the Nazarene
|
|
running up and down the shore amongst the corpses and the expir-
|
|
ing fires. He uttered little cries. Suddenly he rushed to the water,
|
|
and made frantic efforts to get one of the Bugis boats into the water.
|
|
"Afterwards, till he had seen me," related Tamb' Itam, "he stood
|
|
looking at the heavy canoe and scratching his head." "What became
|
|
of him?" I asked. Tamb' Itam, staring hard at me, made an express-
|
|
ive gesture with his right arm. "Twice I struck, Tuan," he said.
|
|
"When he beheld me approaching he cast himself violently on the
|
|
ground and made a great outcry, kicking. He screeched like a fright-
|
|
ened hen till he felt the point; then he was still, und lay staring at
|
|
me while his life went out of his eyes."
|
|
|
|
'This done, Tamb' Itam did not tarry. He understood the import-
|
|
ance of being the first with the awful news at the fort. There were,
|
|
of course, many survivors of Dain Waris's party; but in the
|
|
extremity of panic some had swum across the river, others had
|
|
bolted into the bush. The fact is that they did not know really who
|
|
struck that blow -- whether more white robbers were not coming,
|
|
whether they had not already got hold of the whole land. They
|
|
imagined themselves to be the victims of a vast treachery, and
|
|
utterly doomed to destruction. It is said that some small parties did
|
|
not come in till three days afterwards. However, a few tried to make
|
|
their way back to Patusan at once, and one of the canoes that were
|
|
patrolling the river that morning was in sight of the camp at the
|
|
very moment of the attack. It is true that at first the men in her
|
|
leaped overboard and swam to the opposite bank, but afterwards
|
|
they returned to their boat and started fearfully up-stream. Of these
|
|
Tamb' Itam had an hour's advance.'
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER 45
|
|
|
|
'When Tamb' Itam, paddling madly, came into the town-reach,
|
|
the women, thronging the platforms before the houses, were look-
|
|
ing out for the return of Dain Waris's little fleet of boats. The town
|
|
had a festive air; here and there men, still with spears or guns in
|
|
their hands, could be seen moving or standing on the shore in
|
|
groups. Chinamen's shops had been opened early; but the market-
|
|
place was empty, and a sentry, still posted at the corner of the fort,
|
|
made out Tamb' Itam, and shouted to those within. The gate was
|
|
wide open. Tamb' Itam jumped ashore and ran in headlong. The
|
|
first person he met was the girl coming down from the house.
|
|
|
|
'Tamb' Itam, disordered, panting, with trembling lips and wild
|
|
eyes, stood for a time before her as if a sudden spell had been laid
|
|
on him. Then he broke out very quickly: "They have killed Dain
|
|
Waris and many more." She clapped her hands, and her first words
|
|
were, "Shut the gates." Most of the fortmen had gone back to their
|
|
houses, but Tamb' Itam hurried on the few who remained for their
|
|
turn of duty within. The girl stood in the middle of the courtyard
|
|
while the others ran about. "Doramin," she cried despairingly as
|
|
Tamb' Itam passed her. Next time he went by he answered her
|
|
thought rapidly, "Yes. But we have all the powder in Patusan."
|
|
She caught him by the arm, and, pointing at the house, "Call him
|
|
out," she whispered, trembling.
|
|
|
|
'Tamb' Itam ran up the steps. His master was sleeping. "It is I,
|
|
Tamb' Itam," he cried at the door, "with tidings that cannot wait."
|
|
He saw Jim turn over on the pillow and open his eyes, and he burst
|
|
out at once. "This, Tuan, is a day of evil, an accursed day." His
|
|
master raised himself on his elbow to listen -- just as Dain Waris
|
|
had done. And then Tamb' Itam began his tale, trying to relate the
|
|
story in order, calling Dain Waris Panglima, and saying: "The
|
|
Panglima then called out to the chief of his own boatmen, 'Give
|
|
Tamb' Itam something to eat' " -- when his master put his feet to
|
|
the ground and looked at him with such a discomposed face that
|
|
the words remained in his throat.
|
|
|
|
' "Speak out," said Jim. "Is he dead?" "May you live long,"
|
|
cried Tamb' Itam. "It was a most cruel treachery. He ran out at the
|
|
first shots and fell." . . . His master walked to the window and with
|
|
his fist struck at the shutter. The room was made light; and then in
|
|
a steady voice, but speaking fast, he began to give him orders to
|
|
assemble a fleet of boats for immediate pursuit, go to this man, to
|
|
the other -- send messengers; and as he talked he sat down on the
|
|
bed, stooping to lace his boots hurriedly, and suddenly looked up.
|
|
"Why do you stand here?" he asked very red-faced. "Waste no
|
|
time." Tamb' Itam did not move. "Forgive me, Tuan, but . . .
|
|
but," he began to stummer. "What?" cried his master aloud, look-
|
|
ing terrible, leaning forward with his hands gripping the edge of
|
|
the bed. "It is not safe for thy servant to go out amongst the people,"
|
|
said Tamb' Itam, after hesitating a moment.
|
|
|
|
'Then Jim understood. He had retreated from one world, for a
|
|
small matter of an impulsive jump, and now the other, the work of
|
|
his own hands, had fallen in ruins upon his head. It was not safe
|
|
for his servant to go out amongst his own people! I believe that in
|
|
that very moment he had decided to defy the disaster in the only
|
|
way it occurred to him such a disaster could be defied; but all I
|
|
know is that, without a word, he came out of his room and sat
|
|
before the long table, at the head of which he was accustomed to
|
|
regulate the affairs of his world, proclaiming daily the truth that
|
|
surely lived in his heart. The dark powers should not rob him twice
|
|
of his peace. He sat like a stone figure. Tamb' Itam, deferential,
|
|
hinted at preparations for defence. The girl he loved came in and
|
|
spoke to him, but he made a sign with his hand, and she was awed
|
|
by the dumb appeal for silence in it. She went out on the verandah
|
|
and sat on the threshold, as if to guard him with her body from
|
|
dangers outside.
|
|
|
|
'What thoughts passed through his head -- what memories?
|
|
Who can tell? Everything was gone, and he who had been once
|
|
unfaithful to his trust had lost again all men's confidence. It was
|
|
then, I believe, he tried to write -- to somebody -- and gave it
|
|
up. Loneliness was closing on him. People had trusted him with
|
|
their lives -- only for that; and yet they could never, as he had
|
|
said, never be made to understand him. Those without did not
|
|
hear him make a sound. Later, towards the evening, he came to
|
|
the door and called for Tamb' Itam. "Well?" he asked. "There
|
|
is much weeping. Much anger too," said Tamb' Itam. Jim looked
|
|
up at him. "You know," he murmured. "Yes, Tuan," said
|
|
Tamb' Itam. "Thy servant does know, and the gates are closed.
|
|
We shall have to fight." "Fight! What for?" he asked. "For our
|
|
lives." "I have no life," he said. Tamb' Itam heard a cry from
|
|
the girl at the door. "Who knows?" said Tamb' Itam. "By
|
|
audacity and cunning we may even escape. There is much fear
|
|
in men's hearts too." He went out, thinking vaguely of boats
|
|
and of open sea, leaving Jim and the girl together.
|
|
|
|
'I haven't the heart to set down here such glimpses as she had
|
|
given me of the hour or more she passed in there wrestling with
|
|
him for the possession of her happiness. Whether he had any hope --
|
|
what he expected, what he imagined -- it is impossible to say. He
|
|
was inflexible, and with the growing loneliness of his obstinacy his
|
|
spirit seemed to rise above the ruins of his existence. She cried
|
|
"Fight!" into his ear. She could not understand. There was nothing
|
|
to fight for. He was going to prove his power in another way and
|
|
conquer the fatal destiny itself. He came out into the courtyard,
|
|
and behind him, with streaming hair, wild of face, breathless, she
|
|
staggered out and leaned on the side of the doorway. "Open the
|
|
gates," he ordered. Afterwards, turning to those of his men who
|
|
were inside, he gave them leave to depart to their homes. "For how
|
|
long, Tuan?" asked one of them timidly. "For all life," he said, in
|
|
a sombre tone.
|
|
|
|
'A hush had fallen upon the town after the outburst of wailing
|
|
and lamentation that had swept over the river, like a gust of wind
|
|
from the opened abode of sorrow. But rumours flew in whispers,
|
|
filling the hearts with consternation and horrible doubts. The rob-
|
|
bers were coming back, bringing many others with them, in a great
|
|
ship, and there would be no refuge in the land for any one. A sense
|
|
of utter insecurity as during an earthquake pervaded the minds of
|
|
men, who whispered their suspicions, looking at each other as if in
|
|
the presence of some awful portent.
|
|
|
|
'The sun was sinking towards the forests when Dain Waris's
|
|
body was brought into Doramin's campong. Four men carried it
|
|
in, covered decently with a white sheet which the old mother had
|
|
sent out down to the gate to meet her son on his return. They laid
|
|
him at Doramin's feet, and the old man sat still for a long time, one
|
|
hand on each knee, looking down. The fronds of palms swayed
|
|
gently, and the foliage of fruit trees stirred above his head. Every
|
|
single man of his people was there, fully armed, when the old nak-
|
|
hoda at last raised his eyes. He moved them slowly over the crowd,
|
|
as if seeking for a missing face. Again his chin sank on his breast.
|
|
The whispers of many men mingled with the slight rustling of the
|
|
leaves.
|
|
|
|
'The Malay who had brought Tamb' Itam and the girl to Sama-
|
|
rang was there too. "Not so angry as many," he said to me, but
|
|
struck with a great awe and wonder at the "suddenness of men's
|
|
fate, which hangs over their heads like a cloud charged with thun-
|
|
der." He told me that when Dain Waris's body was uncovered at a
|
|
sign of Doramin's, he whom they often called the white lord's friend
|
|
was disclosed lying unchanged with his eyelids a little open as if
|
|
about to wake. Doramin leaned forward a little more, like one
|
|
looking for something fallen on the ground. His eyes searched the
|
|
body from its feet to its head, for the wound maybe. It was in the
|
|
forehead and small; and there was no word spoken while one of the
|
|
by-standers, stooping, took off the silver ring from the cold stiff
|
|
hand. In silence he held it up before Doramin. A murmur of dismay
|
|
and horror ran through the crowd at the sight of that familiar token.
|
|
The old nakhoda stared at it, and suddenly let out one great fierce
|
|
cry, deep from the chest, a roar of pain und fury, as mighty as the
|
|
bellow of a wounded bull, bringing great fear into men's hearts, by
|
|
the magnitude of his anger and his sorrow that could be plainly
|
|
discerned without words. There was a great stillness afterwards for
|
|
a space, while the body was being borne aside by four men. They
|
|
laid it down under a tree, and on the instant, with one long shriek,
|
|
all the women of the household began to wail together; they
|
|
mourned with shrill cries; the sun was setting, and in the intervals
|
|
of screamed lamentations the high sing-song voices of two old men
|
|
intoning the Koran chanted alone.
|
|
|
|
'About this time Jim, leaning on a gun-carriage, looked at the
|
|
river, and turned his back on the house; and the girl, in the door-
|
|
way, panting as if she had run herself to a standstill, was looking at
|
|
him across the yard. Tamb' Itam stood not far from his master,
|
|
waiting patiendy for what might happen. All at once Jim, who
|
|
seemed to be lost in quiet thought, turned to him and said, "Time
|
|
to finish this."
|
|
|
|
' "Tuan?" said Tamb' Itam, advancing with alacrity. He did not
|
|
know what his master meant, but as soon as Jim made a movement
|
|
the girl started too and walked down into the open space. It seems
|
|
that no one else of the people of the house was in sight. She tottered
|
|
slightly, and about half-way down called out to Jim, who had appar-
|
|
ently resumed his peaceful contemplation of the river. He turned
|
|
round, setting his back against the gun. "Will you fight?" she cried.
|
|
"There is nothing to fight for," he said; "nothing is lost." Saying
|
|
this he made a step towards her. "Will you fly?" she cried again.
|
|
"There is no escape," he said, stopping short, and she stood still
|
|
also, silent, devouring him with her eyes. "And you shall go?" she
|
|
said slowly. He bent his head. "Ah!" she exclaimed, peering at him
|
|
as it were, "you are mad or false. Do you remember the night I
|
|
prayed you to leave me, and you said that you could not? That it
|
|
was impossible! Impossible! Do you remember you said you would
|
|
never leave me? Why? I asked you for no promise. You promised
|
|
unasked -- remember." "Enough, poor girl," he said. "I should not
|
|
be worth having."
|
|
|
|
'Tamb' Itam said that while they were talking she would laugh
|
|
loud and senselessly like one under the visitation of God. His master
|
|
put his hands to his head. He was fully dressed as for every day,
|
|
but without a hat. She stopped laughing suddenly. "For the last
|
|
time," she cried menacindy, "will you defend yourself?" "Nothing
|
|
can touch me," he said in a last flicker of superb egoism. Tamb'
|
|
Itam saw her lean forward where she stood, open her arms, and run
|
|
at him swiftly. She flung herself upon his breast and clasped him
|
|
round the neck.
|
|
|
|
' "Ah! but I shall hold thee thus," she cried.... "Thou art
|
|
mine!"
|
|
|
|
'She sobbed on his shoulder. The sky over Patusan was blood-
|
|
red, immense, streaming like an open vein. An enormous sun
|
|
nestled crimson amongst the tree-tops, and the forest below had a
|
|
black and forbidding face.
|
|
|
|
'Tamb' Itam tells me that on that evening the aspect of the
|
|
heavens was angry and frightful. I may well believe it, for I know
|
|
that on that very day a cyclone passed within sixty miles of the
|
|
coast, though there was hardly more than a languid stir of air in the
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place.
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'Suddenly Tamb' Itam saw Jim catch her arms, trying to
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unclasp her hands. She hung on them with her head fallen back;
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her hair touched the ground. "Come here!" his master called,
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and Tamb' Itam helped to ease her down. It was difficult to
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separate her fingers. Jim, bending over her, looked earnestly
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upon her face, and all at once ran to the landing-stage. Tamb'
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Itam followed him, but turning his head, he saw that she had
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struggled up to her feet. She ran after them a few steps, then
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fell down heavily on her knees. "Tuan! Tuan!" called Tamb'
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Itam, "look back;" but Jim was already in a canoe, standing up
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paddle in hand. He did not look back. Tamb' Itam had just time
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to scramble in after him when the canoe floated clear. The girl
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was then on her knees, with clasped hands, at the water-gate.
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She remained thus for a time in a supplicating attitude before
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she sprang up. "You are false!" she screamed out after Jim.
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"Forgive me," he cried. "Never! Never!" she called back.
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'Tamb' Itam took the paddle from Jim's hands, it being unseemly
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that he should sit while his lord paddled. When they reached the
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other shore his master forbade him to come any farther; but Tamb'
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Itam did follow him at a distance, walking up the slope to Doramin's
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campong.
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'It was beginning to grow dark. Torches twinkled here and
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there. Those they met seemed awestruck, and stood aside hastily
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to let Jim pass. The wailing of women came from above. The
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courtyard was full of armed Bugis with their followers, and of
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Patusan people.
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'I do not know what this gathering really meant. Were these
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|
preparations for war, or for vengeance, or to repulse a threatened
|
|
invasion? Many days elapsed before the people had ceased to look
|
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out, quaking, for the return of the white men with long beards and
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in rags, whose exact relation to their own white man they could
|
|
never understand. Even for those simple minds poor Jim remains
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under a cloud.
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|
|
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'Doramin, alone! immense and desolate, sat in his arm-chair with
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the pair of flintlock pistols on his knees, faced by a armed throng.
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When Jim appeared, at somebody's exclamation, all the heads
|
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turned round together, and then the mass opened right and left,
|
|
and he walked up a lane of averted glances. Whispers followed him;
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|
murmurs: "He has worked all the evil." "He hath a charm." . . .
|
|
He heard them -- perhaps!
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|
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'When he came up into the light of torches the wailing of the
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women ceased suddenly. Doramin did not lift his head, and Jim
|
|
stood silent before him for a time. Then he looked to the left, and
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|
moved in that direction with measured steps. Dain Waris's mother
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|
crouched at the head of the body, and the grey dishevelled hair
|
|
concealed her face. Jim came up slowly, looked at his dead friend,
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lifting the sheet, than dropped it without a word. Slowly he walked
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back.
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|
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' "He came! He came!" was running from lip to lip, making a
|
|
murmur to which he moved. "He hath taken it upon his own
|
|
head," a voice said aloud. He heard this and turned to the crowd.
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"Yes. Upon my head." A few people recoiled. Jim waited awhile
|
|
before Doramin, and then said gently, "I am come in sorrow." He
|
|
waited again. "I am come ready and unarmed," he repeated.
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|
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'The unwieldy old man, lowering his big forehead like an ox
|
|
under a yoke, made an effort to rise, clutching at the flintlock pistols
|
|
on his knees. From his throat came gurgling, choking, inhuman
|
|
sounds, and his two attendants helped him from behind. People
|
|
remarked that the ring which he had dropped on his lap fell and
|
|
rolled against the foot of the white man, and that poor Jim glanced
|
|
down at the talisman that had opened for him the door of fame,
|
|
love, and success within the wall of forests fringed with white foam,
|
|
within the coast that under the western sun looks like the very
|
|
stronghold of the night. Doramin, struggling to keep his feet, made
|
|
with his two supporters a swaying, tottering group; his little eyes
|
|
stared with an expression of mad pain, of rage, with a ferocious
|
|
glitter, which the bystanders noticed; and then, while Jim stood
|
|
stiffened and with bared head in the light of torches, looking him
|
|
straight in the face, he clung heavily with his left arm round the
|
|
neck of a bowed youth, and lifting deliberately his right, shot his
|
|
son's friend through the chest.
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|
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|
'The crowd, which had fallen apart behind Jim as soon as Dora-
|
|
min had raised his hand, rushed tumultuously forward after the
|
|
shot. They say that the white man sent right and left at all those
|
|
faces a proud and unflinching glance. Then with his hand over his
|
|
lips he fell forward, dead.
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|
|
|
'And that's the end. He passes away under a cloud, inscrutable
|
|
at heart, forgotten, unforgiven, and excessively romantic. Not in
|
|
the wildest days of his boyish visions could he have seen the alluring
|
|
shape of such an extraordinary success! For it may very well be that
|
|
in the short moment of his last proud and unflinching glance, he
|
|
had beheld the face of that opportunity which, like an Eastern
|
|
bride, had come veiled to his side.
|
|
|
|
'But we can see him, an obscure conqueror of fame, tearing him-
|
|
self out of the arms of a jealous love at the sign, at the call of his
|
|
exalted egoism. He goes away from a living woman to celebrate his
|
|
pitiless wedding with a shadowy ideal of conduct. Is he satisfied --
|
|
quite, now, I wonder? We ought to know. He is one of us -- and
|
|
have I not stood up once, like an evoked ghost, to answer for his
|
|
eternal constancy? Was I so very wrong after all? Now he is no
|
|
more, there are days when the reality of his existence comes to me
|
|
with an immense, with an overwhelming force; and yet upon my
|
|
honour there are moments too when he passes from my eyes like a
|
|
disembodied spirit astray amongst the passions of this earth, ready
|
|
to surrender himself faithfully to the claim of his own world of
|
|
shades.
|
|
|
|
'Who knows? He is gone, inscrutable at heart, and the poor girl
|
|
is leading a sort of soundless, inert life in Stein's house. Stein has
|
|
aged greatly of late. He feels it himself, and says often that he is
|
|
"preparing to leave all this; preparing to leave . . ." while he waves
|
|
his hand sadly at his butterflies.'
|
|
|
|
September 1899 -- July 1900.
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|
.
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