278 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
278 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
.________________.
|
|
| |_______________________________________.
|
|
| Stoners Guide |
|
|
| Part II: |
|
|
| T H E S U R V I V A L |
|
|
| K I T |
|
|
| |
|
|
|________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
Written, created, schemed, and anything alse I can think of by:
|
|
|
|
D U S T R H I N O
|
|
|
|
F E B 2 3 , 1 9 8 7 ?
|
|
|
|
For those of you who have come to love and cherish the stoner print (i.e.
|
|
sToNeR PriNt iS tHiS), I am sorry. My yUmBo key is not working and I will
|
|
(reluctantly) type in a grammatical fashion. If you have read Stoners Guide
|
|
Part I (and enjoyed it), I think you will like this file too. Who knows, if
|
|
this file is liked also, I might even write a part III! Well, 'nuff said, lets
|
|
get on with da show!
|
|
|
|
part 1: Survival Basics
|
|
""""""""""""""""""""""""
|
|
|
|
Every stoner in his life has, at one time or another, been caught or has
|
|
bought a fuckin' shitty deal. Well, I hope the info in this file with help you
|
|
set your life and thinking pattern straight, and hopefully you will benifit
|
|
from this. the first thing to do when you get a shitty deal is NEVER buy from
|
|
that dealer again. If he (or she) has screwed you once, belive me, they
|
|
will screw you again.
|
|
|
|
If you have ever been without the proper paraphanalia, and wish to dear
|
|
God that you had your pipe that you loaned to Jonny Walker, then you shall
|
|
learn how to make the most of you surroundings, kinda like McGyver! How ta
|
|
ruff it and others I shall tell also!
|
|
|
|
The worst thing that can happen to a stoner is being caught what he/she does
|
|
best: getting high. I've never been caught, but I've seen people get caught.
|
|
It sucks when you just bought a nice hefty ounce from Joe the undercover cop
|
|
and he busts you before you even load one bowl of the dope! I will discuss
|
|
means of escape, stealth, intuition, and common sense. After reading this file
|
|
you will be more informed and well prepeared, belive me!
|
|
|
|
part 2: Dealers
|
|
""""""""""""""""
|
|
|
|
If you are a dealer, you know what fun it is selling pot and getting lotsa
|
|
mula! It's also dangerous being a dealer. One thing that you should insist to
|
|
your sellers (the ones you give the dope to to sell at the nearest campus) is
|
|
to NEVER bring to your house, at least to the door, a new face. Who knows if
|
|
that person is really undercover? Most likly it's not, but what if? I hope
|
|
you know that selling marijuana is a felony if yer caught with more than a
|
|
gram! (Not so in Oregon though! You can grow and smoke dope, but you can't
|
|
sell it. You may legally have up to 1 oz. or dope on your person at one time.
|
|
That means that officer Stiltskin can't do shit if he busts you! Great, huh?)
|
|
So try ta be careful when selling. If ya wanna keep selling, you should'nt
|
|
pinch yer deals TOO much. If buyers get skimpy little deals, they are'nt gonna
|
|
buy no more!
|
|
|
|
part 3: Buyers
|
|
"""""""""""""""
|
|
|
|
If you are one of the many, proud buyers of pot, then you should know a few
|
|
basic facts. There are more busts on buyers than dealers. Buyers are usually
|
|
more desparate, and thus don't really give a damn about who they buy the buds
|
|
from. If you are gonna buy buds, try to buy it from a friend or somebody that
|
|
you at least have know for a while. This way yer insured that you won't get
|
|
some dick who sells you a good deal, and then when you turn around he's
|
|
reading your maranda rights! Also, try to make the transaction in a secluded
|
|
or at least safe place. In class is fine if you have a dumbfuck teacher like
|
|
I did fer English! (Me and a chick smoked a bowl before the bell to leave
|
|
rang. The whole classroom reeked like pot, and the teacher only asked "Who
|
|
lit a match back here?". Of course, nobody was found to be guilty of the
|
|
"crime"!) At lunch in an out-of-the-way spot is cool. If you think yer getting
|
|
a shitty deal, hold out! Don't buy it! You will regret it later on, belive me!
|
|
There are also a few tricks that dealers use to get more money for less dope.
|
|
Trick 1) They spray the buds with water or hairspray. This makes em' heavier,
|
|
alot heavier! If the dealer weighs out his deals, he could be stealing mega
|
|
bucks from your pocket! Trick 2) The dealer inserts lots of stems, seeds, and
|
|
shake, with little or no bud. If it is mostly shake and few seeds, it's
|
|
probibally OK, but if not, don't buy a garden! You want BUDS! Trick 3) They
|
|
say it's something when it's really something else. This happens to me alot,
|
|
but if it's buds, I don't care. They will say it's rad Skunk buds or bitchen
|
|
Chocolate Tai, when it's really homegrown or redhair. There's nothing wrong
|
|
with this type of trick, as long as your deal is fairly sized. As long as
|
|
YOU think your getting yer moneys worth, buy it! I hope the above hints will
|
|
help you decide whether to buy that nickle of skunk or dime of homechoke
|
|
(bleech!!). Always check yer deal before buying, and NEVER, but NEVER give
|
|
your money before getting the buds. More people are screwed that way.
|
|
Remember, you are supporting the dealers. They control the supply, and you
|
|
control the demand. Without the demand, they would be left on a jagged cliff
|
|
picking their asses. So exersise yer rights to CHECK OUT THEM DEALZ!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
part 4: Survival-in the field
|
|
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
|
|
|
|
You've just bought a nice dime of skunk, and you can't wait to smoke it. You
|
|
reach for you pipe in your pocket and - it's not there! Damn, you left it at
|
|
home! You can either 1) walk home, 2) go to a friends and borrow a pipe (and
|
|
probibally end up smoking all yer buds), or 3) do some McGyver moves. First,
|
|
look around on the street/alley/whatever for an aluminum can. If you can't
|
|
find one, dig through some trash cans. If you STILL can't find one, go to the
|
|
goddamn store and buy a fuckin can of Pepsi! Now you have got yer can. Hold
|
|
the can with the hole on the bottom of the top ring, as shown in this diagram:
|
|
|
|
--------
|
|
/ \
|
|
| __ |
|
|
\ | | /
|
|
--------
|
|
^
|
|
|
|
|
hole that you drink
|
|
from
|
|
|
|
Now take your fingers and make dent in the lower portion of the can (the lower
|
|
portion when it is upright). Poke 3 to 6 hole in the center of the dent
|
|
and whala! You now have a pipe! Place the buds over the holes and ignite!
|
|
|
|
part 5: Survival-at home
|
|
"""""""""""""""""""""""""
|
|
|
|
Now supposing you bought the same dime of dope as mentioned above, and you
|
|
walked home ta smoke it. You open yer drawer where you keep your pipe and-
|
|
oh shit! Your parents must have found it! Well, fuck them! Now all you can
|
|
think about is smoking the herb. Well, if you happen to have an aluminum can
|
|
lying around, follow the directions above and your home free. If not, read on!
|
|
First thing ya do is look in the bathroom. If the T/P is almost gone, unravel
|
|
the remaining and trash it (or take a shit and wipe yer ass TOTALLY clean!).
|
|
Now you should have in your hands the cardboard tube. Cut a hole near one of
|
|
the ends like so:
|
|
|
|
___________
|
|
| -- |
|
|
| / \ |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| \ / |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|___________|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's not a great diagram, but hopefully you know what I'm talking about. Now
|
|
go get a piece of aluminum foil about 2 inches square, and place it directly
|
|
over the hole. Push it in a little bit so as to form a bowl, and tape the
|
|
sides of the foil so it won't fall out. Now poke 3-6 holes in the bowl (not
|
|
big holes though!) and you are ready to smoke. Oh yeah, when you do smoke out
|
|
of this pipe, put your hand over the hole that is opposite the one in your
|
|
mouth. Otherwise you'll suck air!
|
|
|
|
You can make pipes or even bongs out of about anything you can find in the
|
|
house, using the above 2 priciples. Now go get high!
|
|
|
|
|
|
part 6: How to avoid getting caught
|
|
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
|
|
|
|
If you heed any of the advice in this file, heed this one the most: "NEVER GET
|
|
CAUGHT WITH DOPE!". For one thing, it will make you paranoid to buy or even
|
|
smoke dope again. If you want to avoid getting caught, RUN. Don't puss out
|
|
and let the piggers frisk you till you piss yer pants! Give them a chase! At
|
|
least when your in Juvi you can say that you ran from them fuckin' pigs
|
|
rather than give up!
|
|
|
|
If you are buying, refer to part 3 for ways to avoid getting caught. If you
|
|
are selling, refer to part 2 if ya don't wanna go to jail! The only advice
|
|
I can give you is "BE CAREFUL" and you'll have a happy high!
|
|
|
|
|
|
part 7: Stoner's Dictionary
|
|
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
|
|
|
|
Avoid: To run from the pigs
|
|
|
|
Buy: To purchase dope
|
|
|
|
Bong: The best smoking device to get stoned with
|
|
|
|
Buds: The meaning of life
|
|
|
|
Brain: The little thing inside yer head after smoking dope
|
|
|
|
Bunk: Shit-weed
|
|
|
|
Cannibis: The name scientists gave pot the first time they got stoned
|
|
|
|
Carb: Little hole on bongs to get that 'final hit'
|
|
|
|
Cool: What you say after you get a rad deal
|
|
|
|
Deal: Your purchase of buds
|
|
|
|
Dope: The buds themself
|
|
|
|
Drugs: What everybody needs to succeed in life
|
|
|
|
Doobie: Nickname for 'joint'
|
|
|
|
Fry: LSD, acid, the trip drug discovered in the 60's
|
|
|
|
Freebase: coke up, man!
|
|
|
|
Fun: What you have when yer stoned
|
|
|
|
Grass: Old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old name for pot
|
|
|
|
Grab: What you do to the person holding the pipe
|
|
|
|
Groan: What you do when you get a shitty deal
|
|
|
|
Hold: The act of holding in your hit
|
|
|
|
Homegrown: Weed that is grown in the home
|
|
|
|
Homechoke: Raspy, hash, and shitty tasting homegrown weed
|
|
|
|
Huddle: What a group of people do so they can cherry the pot
|
|
|
|
Harvest: What you do when yer crop is ripe!
|
|
|
|
Indica: Indica buds
|
|
|
|
Joint: marijuana cigarette
|
|
|
|
JD: Short for Jack Daniels
|
|
|
|
Junkie: What yer called by the public when yer addicted ta drugs
|
|
|
|
Killer Hit: One of the more bigger hits you can take
|
|
|
|
Leftovers: What you have on Monday from the deal you bought Friday
|
|
|
|
Lounge: What you do when your burning out
|
|
|
|
Marijuana: The herb of life, happy smoke, pot
|
|
|
|
Narcotic: drugs, dope
|
|
|
|
Opium: The dope of the Asias
|
|
|
|
Ounce: What you wish you bought after you buy a dime
|
|
|
|
Pot: Weed, dope, herb, marijuana
|
|
|
|
Pussy: What feels good when yer stoned
|
|
|
|
Pack: What you do to yer dope when you put it in the bowl
|
|
|
|
Pretend: What wanna-be's do when the get 'stoned'
|
|
|
|
Stoned: The effects of smoking dope
|
|
|
|
Shit: What dope is sometimes called
|
|
|
|
Toke: The act of lighting up yer dope
|
|
|
|
|
|
That's da end of this file, and guess what? Since my phreak codes are starting
|
|
ta act up, I might not be availiable for a couple of days after Feb 25, 1987.
|
|
But still, I will get some, so if you want, contact me at Circus Maximus
|
|
AE/BBS (804) 973-3644 and leave me some mail. If ya want, leave some ideas
|
|
or formats or ANYTHING about these or future files. Requests are readly and
|
|
eagery accepted. So call now! Oh, if this file is more than a year old and
|
|
you're reading it for the first time, don't bother, cuz I tried ta contact
|
|
others that have written files a year later, and it has'nt worked....
|
|
Remember, if you help, Stoners Guide Part III will pop up in BBS's across
|
|
the nation! Oh, try to Upload this file to as many BBS's as humanly possible,
|
|
ok? Thanks
|
|
Dust Rhino
|
|
|
|
"If at first you don't get it lit, try again untill you do."
|
|
-Dust Rhino
|
|
|
|
(> |