textfiles/drugs/ALT.DRUGS/metal-detector

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[Someone wrote: ]
> Actually, I would think that you shouldn't put mj in your pant pockets
> (as opposed to other pockets) because if for some reason, you have a lot
> of metal on you, and that metal detector rings, the situation could get
> a little hairy when they ask you to empty your pockets. Perhaps a
> jacket pocket would be better?
This reminds me of something that happened to me during a trip to
Washington, DC a good number of years ago. My friend and I had rented
a car, and of course we were toking up, doing wippets, and so on. I
had a few joints, and had the brilliant idea of carrying them in the
metal wippet dispensor that I had at the time. This was winter, so I
had a heavy coat, with the joints in the wippet dispensor in an inside
pocket.
One of our destinations that trip was the Senate gallery, where we
hoped to watch the Senate in action while totally fucked up (us, that
is, not the Senate). Turns out you first have to go to the Senate
Office Building to get a pass. So we did. Unfortunately, there was a
metal detector at the entrance to the office building. Sure enough,
it went off when I walked through. I was terrified when a heavily
armed cop approached me with a hand-held metal detector (I was
especially scared because at the time I had long, long hair and a
beard and a headband, probably fitting their profile of a left-wing
radical terrorist to a T). He started waving it over me, and when it
got to the place where the contraband-containing wippet dispensor was,
it started shrieking. With sinking heart and trembling hands, I
reached into the *outside* pocket at the same location and pulled
out... KEYS! By some stroke of luck, I was carrying a bunch of keys
in that outside pocket. The cop saw the keys, assumed they were
causing the metal detector to go off, and waved me through. Man was I
relieved.
Ok, so we got the passes, and then went to the Capitol building
(stopping at the car for some more bong loads of course). For
some stupid reason, I didn't leave the wippet dispensor behind...
I guess I figured if there was another metal detector, I'd just
do the same thing. Stupid I know, but then I was young and stoned
and cocky.
So we went to the Capitol, and sure enough there was another metal
detector. No problem, I thought, I know the drill. So I strode through
it and of course it went off. I looked around for a cop with a
hand-held metal detector, but there wasn't one; instead, the security
people were telling me to put any metal I might have into a tray, and
walk through again. Well, I took everything I could think of out of my
pockets, coins, the keys, everything except the wippet dispensor with
the joints in it, and put them in the tray. Then I walked through
again, sweating. It went off again! There was nothing to do: I took
out the wippet dispensor and put it on the tray. Of course now I could
walk through without the detector going off, but in the meantime one
of the guards had picked up the wippet dispensor and was examining
it. All he had to do was unscrew it and he would find the
joints. (Meanwhile my friend was watching all this, poised to jump out
and yell "Arrest that man" while pointing an accusing finger at
me...what a guy). But again the gods were smiling at me (probably
getting a good laugh), and the guard handed me the dispensor without
further investigation. I was through!