641 lines
34 KiB
Plaintext
641 lines
34 KiB
Plaintext
>>Access Denied Publications Presents...
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"SysOp Suicide! (A Day in the Life of a System Operator)"
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By James C. Goldbloom
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(@) March 1988. ADP, Inc.
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P R E F A C E:
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The daylight has not yet become visible and an illuminating glow from the
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moon, resting low in the early morning sky, falls upon the keyboard and the
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entanglement of varied wires, patchcords and plugs resting silently upon
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the formica topped computer stand. The hour is fifteen minutes before six,
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and the unconcious desire to yawn goes unnoticed by the cat stretched
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solemnly on my lap, absorbed within intense sleep. The animal should be so
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lucky, as I cannot close an eyelid after what I had been through the last
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70 hours. There he sits, nevertheless, dreaming of catnip and front claws,
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or whatever it is which worries spoiled felines. Here I sit, typing
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mercilessly at the keyboard, in a vain attempt to describe in common text
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just what being a System Operator (known as 'SysOp') encompasses. The words
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do not adequately portray the emotional and physical requirements of this
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often misunderstood and frequently expensive hobby known as online
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telecommunications. I have four long, incredible years of frontline
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battlefield existence, and the 'trenches' of the wonderous world of modems
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are muddy, deep, and full of strange viruses which belittle the most stoic
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of the online genre. For this is the night I disconnect the modem for the
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last time, when I will place both backup and original user disks in never
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ending storage, and for the first time in my life, use my word processor
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without feeding programs and control codes through this aged modem. In
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short, using simple and very carefully chosen wording, my days as SysOp are
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no longer. This small contribution to the presently, and probably
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eternally, unbuilt libraries of the Online Archives Building is my Last
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Will and Testament, my final eulogy, my hyperbole laden memoirs of just
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one 24 hour, mundane, typical day in the life of the poor being known as--
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The SysOp. To these brave and electronically tormented individuals, it is
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with respect I devote this text.
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P A R T O N E: "Starting a New Day"
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The day in the life of a SysOp begins in the wee hours, when the toothpaste
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tastes like Arm & Hammer Baking Soda, and beard stubble has grown on the
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inside of your mouth. The crazy aspect of it all is that the modem stays on
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all day and night, tirelessly answering phone calls, taking messages, and
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never voicing even one complaint. Fully automated generosity, without
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regard to anything remotely related to humanity. Thus, when the clock
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strikes six, and the digital displayed tone-activated alarm clock sings its
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song, I open my eyes, pick the eye-guk out, and watch the cat choke once
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again on the same furball he has been ingesting for the last ten years.
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Clothes are not important in the privacy of one's own computer room. I
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suspect the most beautifully insane aspect of operating a modem is that a
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certain amount of anonymity can be displayed without fear of Alan Funt
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jumping out behind your mirror and announcing you will make the syndicated
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version of Candid Camera Strikes Again. Sitting on the soft cloth of the
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chair which nobody but myself would plop upon, called The Captain's Chair
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by even the most naive young SysOps, I lift my aching arms to do the usual
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exercises, preparing myself for endless hours of peck-typing.
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Being a SysOp is a painfully arthritic occupation, and it is a noted
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statistical fact that more knuckles and tendons have been destroyed typing
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a simple validation message than most boxers would suffer in a 15 round
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heavyweight fight, without gloves. To avoid 'occurences', the mainstream
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and well noted computer lingo for 'accidents', one must be in shape. So
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after benchpressing the monitor 20 times and leg-lifts under the printer
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stand, I'm ready to start a new day in front of the setup.
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To begin the online session I must first check out the hardware for rapidly
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blinking lights, those inevitable little morse code glitches of pulsating
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trouble which always spell out the letters 'AH' in Morse Code. Scribbling
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upon a piece of paper the alphabetical equivalent of the blinking morse
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code would make it seem, and fittingly so, as if the device in question
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were -- with a bit of imagination -- SCREAMING. But I do the real
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hollering, and hopefully a simple troubleshooting will remedy the lights.
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Of course, if one cannot see ANY lights, then it is time to invest in
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something other than microchip technology as a hobby. Or, don't sit so
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close to the monitor. Luma rays supposedly cause brain rot.
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Before I continue, as the reader you should note being a SysOp simply is
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not a cup of tea, and requires above average tolerance for the technical
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aspects and detriments of online communication. I suggest a few books, such
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as the number one best seller (in China), 'Kung Fu and Commodore Too' by
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the honorable Yokihana Manicottison, or, recommended by the National
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Counsel for Mentally Deranged SysOps (and Reader's Digest's book of the
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month through all of 1955), 'Aligning Your Disk Drives Using Atomic Waste'
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by someone named Oppenheimer. Never heard of him, but it has great
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diagrams, and a free sample packet with every book.
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Where were we? Oh yes. After the initial system check, the first order of
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business is to login to my own system. This is not fun, when I attempt to
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access and discover your ID code has been changed to negative five, and my
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password describes part of the anatomy of a ground hog. But after a few
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quick changes in the data files, access is restored and entry into the
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system is near. As sweat meanders down my face, and hair folicles stand on
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end as I pray all 300 users are intact, the all too familair title screen
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appears as one more night of restless sleep is greatfully forgotten.
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The time is now ten minutes after six, and in less than two hours I will
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have to shower, shave and stuff unedible pieces of melba toast down my
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esophogus. Stop gagging, a SysOp has a low budget for basic staples such as
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food, heat, or similar modern conveniences. Due to monetary woes, it just
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is not practical for me to even consider buying groceries, when the money
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could produce much more. Once, I avoided eating for three weeks to insure
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the disk drive was cooled by a new fan, which was not on sale.
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>> Coming Soon -- Part II !! <<
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>>Access Denied Publications Presents...
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"SysOp Suicide Part II (Or -- A Day in the Life of a System Operator)"
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By James C. Goldbloom
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(@) March 1988. ADP, Inc.
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P A R T T W O: "Time To Make the Donuts..."
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The inevitable part of running a system is allowing access to the people
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for whom you supposedly cater: The user. Of course, this is not true. The
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real reason I run my system, sitting here drinking this off-pink colored
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strawberry flavored 'Quick' drink, is to collect fees. Naturally, there is
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no way in Hell a user will pay to call on an open phone line, spend 30
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minutes typing without being able to even trade a cracked game. You see, I
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run a non-fee accessed public message system, with no file transfers to be
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accessed or even viewed by the remote user. I ask for no contributions,
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unless they include credit card numbers or titles and deeds signed over to
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my name. Well, if someone INSISTED, I may consider. However, it is not a
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common practice for an Operator like myself to demand money for something a
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user can access on a FREE phone line. Was this an editorial? Dangit. I
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didn't mean to do that. Let's move on.
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Time to make the donuts! That commercial should be the motto of all SysOps
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even if they can afford to pay someone else to purge files, reply to all
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electronic mail, or simply boot a user off the board for callous remarks.
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By the way, when it comes to ethics, SysOps do not have any. Well, when I
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first ran the system I was naive, young, full of unrelenting energy which
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abounded into a flowing display of creative and brilliant ideology. Hell,
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that wore off within a week, right after the disk drive ate the userlog and
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indiscreetly spat it out, hub ring first.
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In the REAL world of SysOping, 'time to make the donuts' means I must spend
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all my free hours, including those precious moments when I just HAVE to
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shake the weenie, upkeeping the system. Ugh, that's disgusting. Sorry, what
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do you expect in a public domain file? As I was saying, the point is simply
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this: Time must be set aside for routine maintenance and chores, which are
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many and time consuming. Ask any SysOp, and he or she will tell you point
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blank, without the slightest bit of hesitation, "It aint worth it, pal!"
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It is worth it, and if I believed everything I said, I would have remained
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a user for six years and still be calling out at 300 bits per second, using
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a datasette recorder in a vain attempt to save 46.5K worth of buffered data
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so I can avoid taking notes. Those days are long gone (for most of us, and
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if this scenario rings true to you, no nasty commentary please, I own a
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Pittbull and my other hobby is Ninja warfare) but not forgotten.
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The hardware I use to run the system is complicated, and the average setup
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for the virgin Operator usually costs around $1500.00, and that is not
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including the floppies, thousands of pens and labels necessary to insure
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proper organization. If I had a penny for all the pieces of printer paper
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used to display caller logs, error reports, and other data being generated
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at unbelievabe rates I would be able to buy stock into Compuserve. Welcome
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to the real world, kiddo. A SysOp must take advantage of the resources
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which are available, and steal anything else necessary to get the job done.
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By the way, there are no time for drugs or addictive stimulants to maintain
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the peak level of operating efficiency. If I was a drug dealer, would I be
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typing this text? Don't answer that.
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To conclude this section of the text, it is wise to understand the most
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basic reason of why a SysOp does what must be done. I have discussed the
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fact that there is no money to be gained, there is no advantage in terms of
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building or growing something to show for it, and certainly anyone in their
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sane mind would never pay to access a service which is a local phone call
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away. Why do I do it? You should be thinking of a few reasons. They could
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be the education of the mind, expanding your talents and creativity in a
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way so your community could benefit. Or, to trade information, resources
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and ideas, relating with your peers, and being offered varied opinions and
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moral beliefs with which you could ponder, henceforth originating your own
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specific values upon man and his environment. Possibly to offer solutions
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to world crises and bring forth changes that may not be possible unless a
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large group of caring and highly motivated strangers band together and form
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a common bond to take action and become united.
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Nah. The real reason is simple: We do it for SEX.
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>> Coming Soon -- Part III <<
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"SysOp Suicide -- Part III" (Revised)
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From Access Denied Publications, Inc. 1988
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By: James C. Goldbloom
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Part III: "The Ethics of Operating"
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Before I continue with the story, it is only advisable to the reader that
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they understand the social and legal issues which plague the calm and
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steadfast operation of an online system. To name but a few of the dilemnas
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which wreak havoc among computer entrepeneurs: hacking, phreaking, leeching,
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black-listing and of course the ever popular (ugh) crashing. That last one
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should not even be mentally imaged, and the SysOp shudders and shakes in his
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or her chair with possibilites of involuntary bowel movement. This portion of
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the text describes one afternoon when I encountered the most feared, awe
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inspired and horrible type of user -- the crasher.
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If there were to be a sort of 10 commandments of online ethics, right after
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thou shalt not commit adultry would be thou shalt not illegally enter an ID
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which is greater than the national debt. One day when I was sitting in my
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captain's chair, smoking a camel right after some really good -- validations
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(the closest computer term for sex) I watched a user login as a new user.
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At first this bright individual had the smarts to hit the HELP command a
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few times and learn his way around the amazon jungle of online corridors which
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branched in every which direction and seemed to lead nowhere. Suddenly, as the
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system asked for his handle or alias, he paused for what seemed an eternity
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and very gingerly entered: "The Disk Destroyer". Now, myself being a rather
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experienced Operator and luckily being witness to this dasterdly deed in
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person, I decided to lay low, and attempt to learn from the situation. Of
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course my hand was but a few milimeters away from the phone cord, just incase
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the human being on the other end decided to prove Darwin's theory of the
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missing link.
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The system verified this ID to be valid, and I cursed loudly. At the next
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prompt the system asked him his real name, to which another pause surmounted
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and out popped the not so amusing "Kill SysOp". I flustered a little, but kept
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reminding myself it was only a BBS, only a kid playing games, and I was going
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to delete him anyway and no damage would be done. I knew my system was
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indestrucatable, and all my safety nets would work perfectly. Of course, this
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user would NEVER guess the backdoor I had installed just incase even I was
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locked out of my own system. Never, in a million billion years could this
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yahoo guess the correct word. The likelihood of that happening, on his first
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try, was so astronomical, it was beyond the limitations of science.
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The little bastard got it on the first try. Then I began to drool a little and
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a slight degree of spittle ran down my neck and onto the cat, startled but not
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completely disrupted. Before I had the chance to disconnect, he had already
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opened up the backdoor and like the parting of the red seas, all the online
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'water' poured out right into his lap on the other end it seemed, and to put
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it mildly, he nearly drowned from the sheer excitement of it all. In this
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order, he left feedback to me explaining what type of moron I was classified
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as and that the software was 'easy', far too easy and was of no challenge to
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him. He mentioned something about he and his buddies frolicing in my modem,
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dancing around the maintenance area, and basically short circuiting as much as
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he could in the alloted time (he gave himself 2 years before logoff). After
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this small note, he raised his access to mine, and proceeded to delete the
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userlog right before my eyes, and all I could do was pick my nose and pull the
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plug manually. But it was too late, the disk drives were scrambled.
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The most important lesson a potential sysop can learn is to make a backdoor
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for a backdoor, and backup your data disks frequently, or someone like "Mr.
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Kill SysOp" will backup your files for you, right into the toilet. What ever
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happened to online ethics? Doesn't anybody care about the social graces of
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online communication? I certainly do, and even though I am the first to admit
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I have my cynical side to life and often confuse right with wrong, I would
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never ever intentionally damage someone else's system.
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That is, unless they stole a mod from me or something like that... But
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more on that in part 4, entitled 'Modify & Murder'....
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Part IV, coming soon!
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"SysOp Suicide --- Part IV"
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From Access Denied Publications, Inc. (1988)
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By: James C. Goldbloom
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Part IV: "Modifications and Murder"
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Unique. Supposedly, no two boards are the same. Users gather from varied
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backgrounds, SysOps pride themselves on having the latest modifications (which
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we in the business call 'mods') and the greatest online inventions which dare
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to make the user's modeming experiencing a much simpler and efficient one. The
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creative energies flow endlessly, and new ideas enable operators to enrapture
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the attention of the user thereby contributing to a start of the art board
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which improves the over-all quality of telecommunications.
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Hogwash.
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The truth of the matter is, we all steal like common, petty thieves and ride
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in on our electronic 'horses' and rape and pillage as much of the online
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community as possible with as much damage as can be done. When it comes to
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secrets, the word simply does not exist in the land of bulletin boards. The
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SysOp must deal with the constant painful threat of being electronically
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robbed of all ideas, and the BBS in question will end up being replicated in
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about 24 states and 5 countries around the globe in 8 different times zones in
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as quickly as 48 hours. It is amazing what a bit of buffering can do, and
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although mods are commonly duplicated without intention, there are always the
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retarded nymphs who simply lack basic intelligence to come up with something
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new. I personally cannot figure out why these people would do such deeds,
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because there is no pride in plagiarizing. No feeling of accomplishment, but
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nevertheless it is a common practicing among competing boards.
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The worst form of stealing mods is when the mod in question is displayed
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prominently on the second rate system, and the SysOp of that board gladly and
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quite distinctly takes full credit for the work. Once, when I saw my prompt
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line show up on a nearby BBS from no apparant act of charity on my part, I
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asked the SysOp to explain how the mod was accomplished, just to see what
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would happen. Needless to say, the ignorant one celled animal could not even
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begin to describe the complex nature of the prompt and probably could not
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spell his own name without the aid of a brain. When I prompted him to explain
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his method of capture of the mod, all I got was a quick disconnect.
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I caught that one. However many times my brain-blowing mods get duplicated
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time and time again, and like the old 'phone game', by the time it gets to the
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100th system, the mod starts to deteriorate. It is then I wish to install a
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virus, and set it so at one particular date at one distinct time, all the
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boards with that mod will self destruct! It is nice to dream and get on these
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power hungry trips, but SysOping is an egotistical business, ok...?
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When it comes to the actual production of new mods, that is the time a normal
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and quite healthy human being can turn into a wretched and defenseless
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creature doomed to a life of rubber walls and straight jackets with 'murdered
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by the mod' tatooed on the vest pocket. To describe exactly what it is like to
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attempt a new mod is to equate a sperm attempting to enter the uterus and
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penetrate the egg for fertilization -- a massive array of mistakes and trial
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and error, mindlessly swimming around - bumping into EVERY obstacle.
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Manuals, you are thinking, that is why they invented manuals. To make a
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complicated 17,000 line software listing make sense, to enable an Operator to
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underastand each division and subdivision of the flow of data. Well throw the
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damn manuals away, if they are written in english then they probably are
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outdated or written for a version which looks or acts nothing like the board
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the Operator is running. The only uses I have for manuals are propping them
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under the kitty litter box for absorption or emergency bathroom tissue.
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All mods are usually a life threatening process of give and take, push and
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shove, and throw and kick. It is advisable all small children and any objects
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not stapled to the table be removed while a SysOp is modifying. Ask any wife
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or husband of any SysOp and the unanimous conjecture is that a SysOp in the
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middle of modifying is more likely to turn against friend and family then when
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drunken and armed with a shotgun. It's the truth, the patience simply runs out
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and even if the board owner is gnawing off their own fingernails or throwing
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spitballs at the monitor with slingshots, they better not be disturbed.
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That is the reason I destest someone stealing my mods. I put all that hard
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work into it, and slaved for hours on end before I figured out I spelled the
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word 'return' wrong somewhere in line 2534, which enabled the board to be
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booted and re-booted about 250 times in succession before I got it right. The
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selfless nerd who copies my work after ALL my work deserves... well, to be
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punished! At least, make them boot their boards 250 times in a row and see
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what happens to THEIR monitors when pens are flung at Mach-5 and become a
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permanent attachment to the glass. It aint easy being a programmer and SysOp
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at the same time, I wish it could be like Star Trek, just talk into the
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machine and ask for "One prompt with date and time displayed, something new
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and innovative" and after a second or two of regurgetation, the machine spits
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out a complete listing (with documentation) fit for a king.
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No such luck, and the best we can do for now is sit on our butts and spend
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hours trying to be creative, and when that first user logs on and sees the
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mod, comments nicely about it in feedback, and logs off a satisfied customer,
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well -- it makes it all worth it.
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So long as he hasn't buffered the whole damn thing and has already echo-mailed
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it to the 'hackers-haven' computer club in Colombia, South America......
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Coming Soon, Part 5 -- "Dealing with Sub-Operators, the Helpers"
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>>Access Denied Publications Presents...
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"SysOp Suicide -- The Series, Volume 1"
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Written By: James C. Goldbloom with assistance from Liz Reynolds
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P A R T F I V E: The Magic & Madness of Making Messages: A Study
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The following field study and report was compiled from countless years
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of personal experience as a System Operator. The opinions expressed
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herein are unimportant, inane, obtuse, and uncorrolated. But DAMNED if
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it don't make good readin'...
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HYPOTHESIS & INTRODUCTION:
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=========================
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YOU have just logged onto the BBS of your choice and you are confronted
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by the options menu. You think to yourself, "AH HA! Why not check out
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the message bases and see what the other users are thinking?"
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Hesitantly your fingers are poised to hit the command that will bring
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you face to face with the aspect of on-line communication often
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misunderstood and rarely observed: DISCUSSION!
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History plays a role in the birth and eventual maturity of such
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discussion. In the beginning, God created raw data. Naturally, most
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users were confronted with tempting and voluptuous features of Bulletin
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Boards which involve the trading of files, the exchange of technical
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enhancements, and the beauty and freedom of mastering the art of this
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electronic medium. When the earth was a molten mass, when an Apple was
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something that was ingested and a Commodore ALWAYS went down with his
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ship, Bulletin Boards were initially utilized for the office jockey who
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delivered memos and other work related materials to fellow computer
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novices. In this archaic beginning, (cue the theme from 2001: A Space
|
|
Odyssey) this information represented the sterile and utterly
|
|
insensitive automation of "data transfer." Thrilling as reading
|
|
expiration dates on condom packages, but please continue...
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By the time of Christ, avid computer Apostles upon a whim decided to
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preach the Gospel of electronic interaction amongst the masses. These
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early teachings brought about the discovery of that which has now been
|
|
deemed mundane, staid, and pathetic: communication. Not between
|
|
silicon and wire, but flesh and blood. Dedicated purely to preserving
|
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necessary humanity (HINT: PROFOUND STATEMENT!).
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You're probably asking what the heck all this means, aren't you? What
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does religion and history have to do with the modeming scene? Nothin',
|
|
but that's not the point of this verbose paragraphing. What really
|
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matters is the magic of message making, and how fantastic the grammar
|
|
is within the preceding text. I am just kidding about the formal
|
|
prose, as what is really important is how the sexual behavior of
|
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non-consenting adults is "splattered" on messages bases like caged
|
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rabbits on a bad episode of Wild Kingdom.
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However, messages do take on many forms and challenge the reader to
|
|
think, to create, and to become involved. That is what's truly
|
|
inspiring and has been forgotten. Anonymity, adult subject matter,
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file transfer, high baud rates, unfriendly software and a disdain to
|
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tradition all contribute to the erosion of honest and meaningful
|
|
dialogue. This text was written to allow a reader, like yourself, to
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|
view on-line direct communication in a predecent or standard which has
|
|
always existed, but sadly is dormant to many. Now don't fall asleep on me
|
|
yet, as there is a point to be made. Hopefully soon, and here is some
|
|
research data I collected over the years to support my theory...
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MEANINGLESS DATA TO PROVE IT:
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============================
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Those who contribute to this downfall of the online community have
|
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names, of course, and let me take a moment of your valuable online time
|
|
to list but a few of these insensitive, crass, impudent and
|
|
disgustingly oblivious individuals. I won't mention names unless
|
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they've deleted me on their systems (don't press that STOP key, I'm
|
|
just joking). Instead I will produce for your enterainment dollar a
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|
general classification listing, complete with species name, habitat,
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|
migratory patterns, life cycle -- and if necessary, the "mating rituals"
|
|
and socio-economic status of such creatures within the online kingdom.
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(This listing will be from the highest level of the food chain to the
|
|
lowest form of online life possible.)
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SPECIES HABITAT DESCRIPTION (Migratory/Mating/Behavioral Patterns)
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======= ======= ==================================================
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Patron ANY BBS Contributes selflessly to ALL message bases
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Saint with creative and intelligent conversation.
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|
(Scientific Name: Championi Supportrius)
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Garden ANY BBS Frequents sub-boards routinely, posting very
|
|
Variety interesting but umemorable form fed generic
|
|
responses of unoriginal context.
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(Scientific Name: Flora No-Weedius)
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Scarce ANY BBS Has difficulty finding the messages, but somehow
|
|
Scribbler types the reply command by accident. General chit
|
|
chat directed towards no one in particular.
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(Scientific Name: Scantius Doodlecti)
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Credit MOST BBS Only interested in increasing file transfer credits,
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|
Fanatic allotted time or access. Racks these up like trophy
|
|
points. Can be seen, and hunted, but rarely heard.
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|
(Scientific Name: Charjum Visacum)
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Typ-O 101 MOST BBS Backspaces 100 words per minute. Needs a dictionary
|
|
Scholar to spell one syllable words, is totally oblivious
|
|
to the raping of the English language.
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|
(Scientific Name: Coronas Backspacious)
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Rampant ANY BBS Even the simplest greeting becomes akin to the
|
|
Run-On Gettysburg Address in long hand. Verbosity and
|
|
excrutiating dullness impact with each sentence.
|
|
Messages are a wonderful cure for insomnia. (yawn)
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|
(Scientific Name: Babbleus Eternius)
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Techno- MOST BBS Preceeds text with line numbers. Gloats of all
|
|
Nerd programaming conquests openly on any message base.
|
|
Constantly quotes technical manuals and similar
|
|
uninteresting jargon. Excessive breeding within
|
|
this catagory discounts ANY hope of extinction.
|
|
(Scientific Name: Floppius Pee-Wee-nus)
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|
National ALL BBS If bathroom walls could talk! Studies mating habits
|
|
Inquirer of other species. Coverts confidential tidbits to
|
|
maintain dominance over other species. Poor self
|
|
image and grooming habits. Predatory creature.
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|
(Scientific Name: Buttinskius YurBizness)
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SysOp's ALL BBS Constant feedback and mail of an irrelevent nature
|
|
Suck-Up from this species wasting valuable disk space and
|
|
precious time of the Operator. Usually to gain
|
|
additional status in the social ladder. Blatantly
|
|
obvious and a professional BROWN-NOSER.
|
|
(Scientific Name: Operatum Fellatio-scum)
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|
Chronic MOST BBS Proficient at reporting (publicly) every minute
|
|
Complainer flaw in the system software. Never satisfied with
|
|
access levels, etc., but offers their constantly
|
|
neglected suggestions for unnecessary improvement.
|
|
(Scientific Name: Perpetuous Bad Bitchius)
|
|
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|
Old ALL BBS An on-line fossil, virtually adopted by the SysOp,
|
|
Faithful a permanent fixture since the board's conception.
|
|
Suffers from Geritol induced flash-backs of the
|
|
"good" old days, but nobody seems to care. (sigh)
|
|
(Scientific Name: Primordius Geezeratum)
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|
Absolute MOST BBS Wanders aimlessly through discussions which go
|
|
Airhead beyond their miniscule intellect and capacity to
|
|
absorb thought. Although totally confused about
|
|
the simplest meanings of expressed opinion, biology
|
|
and reproduction are engrained into their genes!
|
|
(Scientific Name: Cranious Lobotomus)
|
|
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|
Connoisseur ALL BBS Putrid display of atypical sexual "-philias", i.e.
|
|
of Kink necrophilia, farm-animalophilia, etc., even on the
|
|
public sections! Illicit fantasies and other
|
|
abnormalities of anonymous lust monopolizes any and
|
|
all topics of discussion. Cross species mating is
|
|
well documented, including (ahem) single gender
|
|
(ahem) social "intercourse".
|
|
(Scientific Name: Rob Lowe-us Minoris)
|
|
|
|
Frequent *ALL BBS* Has never discoverd the "pause" key or command.
|
|
Flyer Reads every third line (partially) and barely
|
|
comprehends the meaning. May find topics of
|
|
interest, yet prone only to reply when conversation
|
|
is directed at themself. Requires baud rates GREATER
|
|
than the speed of light, and does not know the
|
|
meaning of the word "buffer".
|
|
(Scientific Name: Blastum Inius Outius)
|
|
|
|
Mongers of *ALL BBS* Fornicators of filth, habitually reducing eloquent
|
|
Manure dialogue to sickening sewer scum. Complete,
|
|
immoral, unethical, anti-social, and outright
|
|
grotesque abuse of the English language. Offensive
|
|
to ALL users and Operators, be it intentional or
|
|
not. WARNING: Easy prey, deleted upon discovery
|
|
of such vulgarity by any and all SysOps.
|
|
(Scientific Name: Flingus Fecius In Fan-ius)
|
|
|
|
The Phantom *ALL BBS* Elusive, unidentified wanderer through any or all
|
|
Phreak message areas, who simply does NOT contribute.
|
|
Mating, eating, migratory habits: UNKNOWN. The
|
|
most feared on-line predator with a callous dis-
|
|
regard for ANY aspect of terminal communications.
|
|
Abusive of other users time and waste of usable
|
|
electricity and phone lines! Excessive breeding.
|
|
(Scientific Name: No Participato Spirito)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Disclaimer: The above classifications are designed to descibe the spirit,
|
|
---------- essence, and personality of typical BBS users. Any references
|
|
to particular persons have been cleverly and deceptively
|
|
altered to protect no one.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CONCOCTED SUMMARIZATION:
|
|
=======================
|
|
|
|
In closing, there are many types of on-line habitants who possess the above
|
|
characteristics including some not listed due to necessary censorship.
|
|
Also, many such individuals may cross over into more than one catagory, or
|
|
dabble in a little bit of them all. Please note this listing is factually
|
|
represented with respect to a PURELY scientific study (*B.S. ALERT*) based
|
|
on years of intensive and excrutiating field investigations.
|
|
|
|
Or...something like that. It sounds good, anyway.
|
|
|
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|
|
|
|
Researched By:
|
|
The Author and Trusty Research Assistant
|
|
(two people obsessed with BBS social misbehavior)
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
For incomplete journal transcripts and copies of fabricated test results, or
|
|
if you wish to comment on this in-depth study of on-line human behavioral
|
|
patterns be sure to contact my public "research" line:
|
|
|
|
Access Denied Public Message System
|
|
(301) 761-6216 24hrs/300-1200 8N1
|
|
Online since 1985, Dedicated to the users.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you like this file please feel free to distribute it. I am sure you will
|
|
continue research on your own when you call more systems, as there ARE a
|
|
surplus of available test subjects like those listed here...
|
|
|
|
Get your note pad ready!
|
|
|
|
* EOF, Sysop Suicide parts 1 thru 5 *
|
|
|
|
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|
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
|
|
|
|
Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
|
|
|
|
& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
|
|
Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
|
|
Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
|
|
realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
|
|
Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
|
|
|
|
Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
|
|
arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
|
|
insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
|
|
|
|
Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
|
|
where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
|
|
|
|
"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
|
|
|
|
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
|