235 lines
7.4 KiB
Plaintext
235 lines
7.4 KiB
Plaintext
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[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
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[] []
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[] DR. ARCANE'S GUIDE TO MAGGOT WEEDING []
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[] []
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[] VOLUME 1.0 []
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[] []
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[] CONCEIVED AND CREATED BY: DR. ARCANE []
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[] []
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[] [CALL THE ARCHIVES] [10 MEG BBS/AE] [815] [344] [0481] []
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[] [THE SANCTUARY] [815] [344] [4671 []
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[] []
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[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
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PREFACE:
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One day, while calling some AE lines, while dialing out, some one
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tried to get through to my board. A common occurance that is
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quite a pain in the ass when your tring to dial out, but one you
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have to up up with no-the-less. It just so happens that this
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call was a bigger pain in the ass then I first thought.......
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I thru Ae into remote and decided to chat with whoever was
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calling. This is how it went:
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A=Arcane M=Maggot
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A:I have to make some outgoing calls the system will be down for
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an hour or two. Who is this?
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M:Who is this?
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A:Take a wild guess
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M:I dunno. I give up.
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A:What system are you calling?
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M:Tell me your name first. (Editorial: I knew what was
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comming...)
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A:Look asshole, if you don't
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even know what system you
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are calling, much less the
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person who runs it, Then it's
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my cue to say: Goodbye...
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^Q H.....Lost Carrier.. Dial Tone....
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Just as I thought I had made a move in saving callers from this
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maggot, as I go to dial out... No dialtone.. carrier instead..
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So I throw it in remote again...
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A:Hello?
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M:i am calling thee AAcrives..
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A:And who do you think runs the Archives?
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M:Well I guess Dr. Arcane
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A:Good. (can you say "maggot weeder"?)
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A:Now, let me ask you some questions...
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What's your name for starters?
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M:Amega Factor
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A:Ok, where ya calling from?
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M:Cary (gee that helps!)
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A:How old are you?
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M:12 (Now this is where I have to draw the line.. )
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A:Did you just get your modem? (is it that obvious?)
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M:Yes.
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A:Well I need the system, so inother words...
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Click.. Dialtone city...
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[][]][][][]][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
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As we all know people like this pose a serious threat to the
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board hopping community at large. We are sitting ducks for
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miles upon miles of maggot ass 12 year old c-64 users that
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just got there modem. Since legistation has not passed a law
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that makes BBS access for mature audiences only, we must take
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immediate action.
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The following is a list of things to look out for when new
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people log on to your system. If they have too many of the
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following on profile, please take the nessary steps as listed
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at the end of this file. The criteria for maggot weeding is
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as follows:
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1st Catagory: Names
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=== ========= =====
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Caller: Brian Moss (Real name? Goodbye)
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Caller:Indy 500 jones the 3rd (fucks up e-mail)
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Phone freak (is that Phreak or freak? Who
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cares, goodbye)
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The Sourcerer (Can't spell his own name..)
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Michal Jackson (Fuck you! It would be even
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worse if it reall was!)
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The 64 kid (The asshole advertizes the fact
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that he is.. )
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Old Style (Tasts like piss water. goodbye)
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Dr. Software (if he owns a Timex Sinclair,
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[you can take it from here])
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64 Man (Those 2 magic numbers!)
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Apple Hater (This demands retaliation.)
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The 64 AE'er (it's hard to belive but there
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out there)
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No Access Man (you got it dude...)
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These are just a few examples of what to look out for when people
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input there names. Now let's take a look at where they call from
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2nd Catagory: Location of caller...
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=== ======== ======== == ======
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Question: So, where are you calling from?
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Answers:
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-------
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My house
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My computer
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My modem
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The computer room
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Jr. High School
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The basment
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From work
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From 10pm to 8am
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My Telephone
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People this ignorant can only have one use.... Well, make that no
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use.. Be sure not to hit the control reset button too hard, you
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wouldn't want to damage your computer on an account of a geek.
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3rd Catagory: Computer Types
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=== ======== ======== =====
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1. Apple (A sign of excellence)
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2. C-64 (Cool people only, too many is asking for trouble)
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3. Trs-80 (Most are cool and give good info)
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4. Timex (Instant disconnection)
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5. Ti (I only know one Ti user with a modem)
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6. Tandy (Instant Disconnection)
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7. Vic 20 (Faster then Instant disconnection)
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8. Atari (Few cool users own Atari's. They know who they ar
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9. Spectrum (A what??? Goodbye)
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10. Home Brew (These people are extreamly interesting.. )
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What computer people operate is an extreamly important detail to
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look out for. If you run an AE, just skip over 2-9. Some home
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brews are apple compatible.
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4th Catagory: City & State
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=== ======== ==== = =====
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Your city & State: Cleavland Mo.
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Chicago Wis.
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Nashville Ca.
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Los Angeles D.C.
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Main
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60009
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The third from the left
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The one right under (Click... Dialtone...)
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[You know what to do...]
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5th Catagory: Your interests..
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=== ======== ==== =========
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What do you like to do most on boards?
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Answers:
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Read Messages (just read? No post? Dialtone city)
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Call them (Answer the question right, goodbye)
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Be on them (Same as above)
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freak and hack ("Phreak" you asshole)
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Trade public domain (Save me, Save me, Save me)
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Download (Doesn't everyone?)
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Make new freinds (Oh yea, make new playmates!)
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Be specific when looking at new caller resume's they can tell
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alot about the caller you will have to put up with once you
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give the little geek 2 slivers of access.
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[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][
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And so ends Volume 1.0 of Maggot Weeding. For those of you who
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feel put down, cut down, kinda mad or a little pissed off by
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reading this, then take a BIG HINT. You are proabably a maggot.
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Those who laughed and said: "I know the feeling" are the ones
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that make boards what they are today. The people that said
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this file was a good guide to new system operators on what to
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look out for, are proud to be part of the decent board hopping
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community of this country.
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Maggots are faggots so
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what do we do about this?
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We kick them down
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throw them around
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then throw them in the piss
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Maggot weeding 1.1 to be out soon.. Look for it..
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[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
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