137 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
137 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: "Snoop Doggy Dogg....need
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:oB's:%%%%%%%%::%%%%%%%::::::%%:::F:R:A:U:D: ta get a Jobby Job!"
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:::::::%%:::%%:::%%::::%%::%%%%::::::::::::: - Calvin Broadus Sr.
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::::::%%::::::::%%::::%%::%%%%::U:L:E:N:T::: Well I'm back with another
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:::::%%%%%:::::%%%%%%%:::%%%%::::::::::::::: morsel, penned from the
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::::%%::::::::%%::::%%:::%%:::B:E:H:A:V::::: impulses of my devious
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:::%%::::::::%%::::%%::::::::::::::::::::::: synapses. As we all know,
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:%%%%%%%:::%%%%%%%%::::%%:::I:O:U:R:!::::::: money makes the world go
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: round. But if you want money
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: you gots to get a JOB! That in
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:#02::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::14-JUN-96: mind, let's explore some...
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....Career Opportunites...
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aka: A Hacker's Guide to a US$50,000/yr Job
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INTRO
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Just graduated from College? GPA to low to get a good job? Try this...
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CONFIDENCE
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Call your University Alumni office and request information on Career
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Counseling. Get the Name, Address, and Phone Number of a Career Counselor.
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Send a letter to the Career Counselor explaining that you would like
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information on Career Counseling options, and ask that they WRITE you back
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with the information.
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You should receive a letter back from the Career Counselor of your school,
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along with lists of names, phone numbers, and a bunch of other Crap. Throw
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all that sh*t away, EXCEPT for the letter from the Career Counselor.
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The letter should be on University Letterhead. Scan the document. (If you
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don't have a scanner, see my file on Burning Kinko's.)
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Use Photoshop or the like to wipe out all the blah, blah, blah, the Career
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Counselor wrote you. The only thing you need are the Letterhead and the
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Career Counselors Signature.
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Write your own letter talking about how great you are and what a benefit you
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would be to any Employer. Make sure you signed the letter (with the
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Counselors scanned signature of course.)
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Print the letter out, preferably on like paper as the original document and
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in color if necessary (have you read my file on Burning Kinko's.) Also, for
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good measure, use the Letterhead logo to make a good looking envelope.
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Now then, Scan in those horrendous College Transcripts detailing your 2.01
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GPA. Use Photoshop to doctor them up, and then print 'em out. Note: It is a
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competitive world, TRUST ME! Make yourself a Genius (note the capital G) 3.0
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is NOT competitive. 4.0 just barely gets you on the playing field. 4.2,
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you're lookin' good!
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Ok, now you're a genius with an illustrious (sp?) GPA to prove it. Let it be
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known. Write one HELL of a Resume'. If you're not too good at making
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Resume's, call Kinko's and ask them to fax you samples of the different
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Resume' styles they have. Find one you like, and recreate it. I recreated
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ALL of their Resume' styles using nothing more than Word 5.0. Believe me,
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it's EASY to write a nice Resume' when you're following a model. Important
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Note: When filling out your Resume', if you need/want to embellish a bit on
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your Work History, make up the great job positions you've had at Fortune 500
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companies, make up Supervisor names, and then consult the alt.2600/#hack FAQ
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for phone numbers that ALWAYS RING BUSY. Gosh darnit, everytime they try and
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touch base with your past employers the dang lines always busy. Oh well.
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Alright, now you have a bunk letter of recommendation from the Career
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Counselor of your University, you have bogus College Transcripts, and you
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have a Resume detailing your faux-exemplary College credentials, and
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prevaricated Work History. The only issue left is: where do you wanna work?
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Wherever you wanna work, find out the address for the Dir. of Personnel,
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Admin. of Human Resources, or, ideally Department Head for Career
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Recruitment. Career Recruitment are those guys from BIG corporations that
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recruit hot prospects right out of College.
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Did you get the address? Good, now get like 10 more for 10 other places
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you'd like to work.
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Make 10 packets (Letter of Recomendation, Resume', Transcripts, Envelopes)
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and send them to your 10 potential employers. Wait a couple of weeks and...
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"RING"
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PSEUDO-BRAGGADOCIO
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Not to brag but there is a real beauty to this that really makes it the most
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viable way to get a job. See one of the hardest things about finding a job,
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especially with a big corporation, is determining what position you wish to
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apply for. I mean, I've never seen anyone get a real job by applying for
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position 'OPEN'. When you want a good job, you have to know in advance what
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position you wanna fill...unless you let someone else determine that for
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you. See the beauty of the described method (and you'll find this out if you
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try it), is when you start you get calls from employers, they'll ALREADY
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have a position in mind that they want you to fill..
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'Hello' 'Hello, is Torre Moss in?' 'This is he.' 'Hello, Torre, this Bill
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Blass at Micros0ft, just got your Resume'. Looks good. We've got a position
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open in Marketing we think you would be PERFECT for, can you come in for an
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interview?' 'Ahhh sure, I just have to fly to Colorado first and thank
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oleBuzzard'
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And it's as simple as that....really....and think about it, what do you have
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to lose?
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OUTRO
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I've said it before and I'll say it again, you can be anything you can make
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someone believe you are....create your own opportunities. kn0wledge pheak
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BBS is gone for good. I'ved moved on to bigger and better things. If you
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need to contact me, information follows, and though the BBS is gone, it's
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legacy lives on in the kn0wledge phreak CD! See ya online, and look for more
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of my Infmaous T-Philes at kn0wledge phreak WWW!
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___
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%%%%%%%%%%%%/ /\%% %% mailto:k0p@iti2.net %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% 14-MAY-96 %%
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