307 lines
9.6 KiB
Plaintext
307 lines
9.6 KiB
Plaintext
FROGGER POSESSION
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Ho Ho Con 91...
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Staring:
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Crimson Death as Terminal Illness: Sysop of Cyberwaste
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Count Zero as co-conspiritor with Crimson Death and creator of the
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name "Cyberwaste" and bearer of the Demonseed remote scam-cam.
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Morpheus as the crazed inventor of the K-RAD cyber drug Marshmellow HEX, the
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drug of choice for BellCore employees across America.
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Doc Cypher: Imperial gizzard and sheriff of !ingham, Marshmellow HE>< junkie
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extrordinairre.
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Holistic Hacker, Jolt and coremonger, ceo erptech transplanetary
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Phrack Classsic : PROPHILE : 0/\/\aR!!!1!!
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hOW LONG HAVE YOU looked like Cliff Stoll, Omar?
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Fuck You. I don't want that in her there.
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What do you think of Scot?
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Scot's a nice, he's a great guy, but don't leave him alone with your daughter
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and a box cutter.
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Switching to Chris Goggans of MOD.
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Chris, how long have you been programming in Unix?
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OMAR : Bruce Sterling introduced me into programming Unix. I was fascinated to
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learn that there were no people at the SS who knew how to program in Unix.
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Chris, what's in the future for MOD?
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CG: Soap on a rope.
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Any closing comments?
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Watch your ass around coredumps. Tell your friends to leave the room when you
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feel an 8 or 9 megger coming on.
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CG: It's time for some more water.
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Omar: I look forward to more Matrix Coredump
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experience the cyberfuture.
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omar : Gunnar.
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Fat Boy Crimson Death : Hey Gunnar. Gunnar's got my terminal.
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Bruce Sterling : Who stole my Unix Programming manual?
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World View Staff : Nobody Bruce. You left it in the Cyberspace Matrix.
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<Switched to Count Zer0>
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Chow down on some Cyber-snackage.....Ruffles have cyber-ridges...
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JD: Terminal Illness is my cyber-friend
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Dispater: Call Speed Cyberwaste Elite / World H.q 1000's of Viruses and Dust
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Motes that are about 3 microns thick4and bombard your eyes.
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anyway the sysop is Terminal Ilness!!!!!!!!
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<switched to G.A. Ellsworth>
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and here's where you find the and uh, ok.
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So uh, this is the uh, and this is...the...uh...deal.
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and uh...I do a lot of social engineering. And it's harsh.
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switched to White Knight
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Leena kept asking me, over and over, 'What happened to Kilo? After the
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paint meeting, he was gone...'
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Kevin: Monster Trucks!!!! g0 WiTH iT!
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Holistic: My name is John, and i'm a caffine abuser.
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CD: Every new handle change comes with a complementary issue of phrack
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Steve (lawer): ...and let's talk now about CIVIL LIBERTIES
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CD: Cyberwaste -- The only BBS with 5 gigs of monster truck gifs,
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and sponsoring Demon Seed Elite the big bad ass of cyberhell monster
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truckdom... god protect us all from dust moats...
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G.A. The only monster truck that can box Alliance.
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Broadway Hacker: Too bad The Blade didn't show I wanted to fuck
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him up the but... by the way... hows your balls?!??
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Morpheus: Check out CYBERWASTE! Now sponsoring the one and only
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alt.monstertrucks moderated by Terminal Illness. Now time to get cyberwasted
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on dustmotes..
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<L.E. Pirate>
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..phuk cDc in tha b00teez!! blAk sEptEbuR bak an on da rize g! werd 2
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ya mutha.. swamp ratte = phag kween.. bsept in 92!!!!1!!1!!
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"The strippers are here!" - k0dez kidz
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<file interrupted for herds of k0DeZz k1dzZz running down the hall looking for
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naked girlies.>
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Stripper: "Oh my gawd!"
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Translated: "I'm not taking my clothes off for a buncha COMPUTER GEEKS!"
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<phAnt0m t0aSt>
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HAY!@!!!!#%!$%!1 AWLRYTURZ!@!! THIZ IZ A
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LYVUR KEWL TEXT PHYLUR PHR0M KEWL
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H0ZH0ZK0NZ YVUR IN DA SYBURSPACUR
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MATRIXZ!!@! HAREZ SUM 0F DA EL8 INPH0
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WEV K-SNAGUD PHR0M DA K0N!@!!!!!!
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OKAZE LYK PHAZE!!!@! PHIRZT SUM PRYVATUR
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INPHOZE ON DA GNU PIZA B0XUR..
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PHUKNA!!%@!^%$!^% DAREZ SUM STRIPPURZZZ
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HARE!@&^%!&^ GN0 WAY!@&^! WAT SHUD I
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DOO??!! WAREZ MY KEE.. G0TTZ GET
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0FFLYNURZ..2 MUCH 4 MEE..
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I'm sorry but those dancers were 2 of the ugliest beasts I've ever seen
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in my life.
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C0dEz dorK: Ho Ho Ho's.
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G.A.: Smells like Teen Spirit...
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New Prophile... Erik Bloodaxe.
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Chris, what did you think of those rad dancers?
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Made me wish I had charged up my cattle prod.
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I wish I brought my box cutter personally - Omar.
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Did I see a fat girl dancing on the table?`With huge porcupine tits
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sagging?`She was going, "Hey big boy!@!!!". - Arch Agel.
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I'm alot more entertained now Omar. About 3 hours I was alot less entertained.
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- Erik Bloodaxe.
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There's a bunch of drug crazed lemmings out there - Omar.
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Well, gee, I've gotta piss..there's probably some traces (of drugs) in there if
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you want them.. - Erik Bloodaxe.
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What exactly is this masterpice you've been working on - Erik Bloodaxe.
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Blackmail..that's what it is. - Erik Bloodaxe.
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I gave one of them money when they were done, and they didn't even have to
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squirm all over me. I'm such a nice guy. -Swamp Ratte'
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I took a serious coredump today.. didn't take too much processing. - A. Angel
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It was obvious you had a couple of beers last night - L. Macduff to Arch A.
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So, Omar.. what did you think of those bAbeolOusous dAnzurZ? - Holistic
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Drunkfux was the hit with the good looking ones.. chicks dig Nelson. If
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Dispater hadn't paid them, they'd all be sucking his dick right now.
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Arch Angel - Hey..the fat one knocked over the radio..
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We were at least going to be economical about it.. I had it down to 10 people
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for 3 hits of acid.. in Gunnar's suite.
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This lasted for 2 hours?`- Lord Macduff
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It looked like the Wizard of Oz here.. with all the fingers pointing. - Arch.
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So Everyone..what did you think of the babEz?
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We were talking about Alpha Bits with Hex Marshmallows.. and on the back you've
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got a hex-ascii converter.
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Demonseed is everywhere, yet nowhere...it is everything, yet nothing, but
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maybe just a bunch of little things.... -Count Zero
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Something that even virtually reality could entice..or even begin to describe
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this fiasco of cyber whores from the matrix that have been beckenforthed..
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Just remember..this is not your father's HoHoCon. - Holistic
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4:44am - Omar lost his mind. Demon seed woke up and gained more power.
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<Drunkfux>
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I feel the need for a song. abstract, of course.
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------------------------------------------------
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Tawk tawk tawking bout sum cyber stuff
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Like Demon Roach's new Monster Truck sub
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Matrix hoppin we will go
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In search of the hex marshmallow
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Come now, come now, do not pace
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We're off to call cyberwaste
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The new beast known as demon seed
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Run over your head and make you bleed
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Decryption of the message I soon will start
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For I have the hex-ascii chart
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Fat, skanky dancers running all around
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Wonder how many STD's Dispater has now
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What made me sick was the one's hairy mole
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Did I mention that Omar looks like "Suck my d1<K brian!"
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Bruce taught me how to program in Unix and Hack C
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Omar had his picture taken with E.T.
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This is it.. I must go..
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I may finish later.. I don't know
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-------------------------------------------------
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In order of appearance:
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The Summoning of Demon Seed...
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Blackness was all around in the Hilton parking lot... the power was strong and
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we knew Demon Seed Elite might appear any second from the power of pre-puberty
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crazed glangular overactive k0dez kids... a hush fell over the parking lot and
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we suddenly felt irrated for some reason -- yes we knew that tonite WAS the nite
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for the coming of Demon Seed Elite.
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Suddenly, a hush fell over the parking lot. A herd of K0dez kids wandered
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by in search of K-rad cyber-strippers. In a flash of blue light and clouds
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of 10 micron dust motes, Demon Seed Elite materialized. It's blazing CGA
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monitors flashing with menace, it descended on the nerdlings with fury....
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The beams shot forth from the blazing monitors searing the flesh of the huddled
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masses. The first casualty was a gangly young codester, twitchintg with the
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expectations of the looming nudity. The firey beams struck him at the base of
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his spine, ripping flech from bone, sending a shower of blood over the
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remainaing hacking horde. The energy expuled from the first kill powered on
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the energy seeking transformer of demon seed. The k0dez kids cried out in
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escatsy knowing that cheezy motel porn was no more in their bloodthirst of fat
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sleezy cybernetic whores, they had a bigger thing to worry about right now it
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is demon seed elite.
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As the k-rad K00L smoke cleared, demn seed elite appeared...again... The
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drolls of the M0D special issue cybernetic cotton gin's drolls permeated the
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cybernetic battlefield...with dung...cybernetic dung: the dung of the
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Demon Seed.
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The thousands of pixels which made the eye of the cyberwaste cast its watchful
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gaze on the terrain some 6,700,000 miles below, methodologically scanning the
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payphones of the known universe for the brief flash of a KaLl1Ng KaRD!!11!1!
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yet we have not taken the time to discuss the true meaning of demon seed, for
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he has the untmost pirating cabilities... demon seed needs no ratio or time
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limit for everyone knows the k-rad warez of the future that sp00geD out of the
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bed of demon seed... for he has the power to travel into the future and get
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games that have yet to be created in our present time...
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Then the EELYTE surviors beheld to our surprise and delight
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Clifford Stoll himself sat in the passenger seat, cluthing a pipe
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His hands were all shaking, just like a speed freak
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He spit when he laughed, and we called him a geek
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"It's the COOKIES!" he exclaimed, "Not the speed or the blow"
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"Don't end up like me! Please, just say no!"
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The truck rattled and shook, the license plate read "K-K00L"
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As it drove away, all we could do was sit, gape, and drool."
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-------------
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