430 lines
9.8 KiB
Plaintext
430 lines
9.8 KiB
Plaintext
/* ============================================================================
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Yep, just when you thought it was safe! (Oh the horror of it all) MORE
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ARGUS HACKERS!! yay. Anyway, here's the talk me and Mr. hacker had */
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Disclaimer: This is nowhere near as funny as mine and Kingpin's first
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Argus hacker installment was. But some of it is funny.
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Just check out some of his blatant lies.
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L = Him (His handle was 'Loop' for anyone else who wants to torment him)
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CM = Me
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P.S. - I hope you all like the C-style comments :) /* */
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===========================================================================*/
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CM: lo
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L: Hi
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CM: well, you're a hacker?
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L: WHo told you?
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CM: haha...it's in your registry /* his stupidity already showing */
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L: It is???? /* No, I imagined it..duh! */
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CM: yep...it says you like to 'hack and phreak' /* gave me goosebumps..NOT! */
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L: ooh shit, I have to change that before someone else sees it
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/* yeah, like his friends and they laugh him out of town */
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CM: hahaha....so, are you though?
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L: Well, I must learn about yourself first...
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/* he stopped typing for a minute or two here so: */
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CM: are you alive?
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L: st /* must be some funky hacker code! hah */
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CM: hello?
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L: , before I go spilling my stuff
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L: HHHuhsufhusdfhu
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L: fgh
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L: hf
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L: g
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L: f
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CM: H
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CM: e
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CM: ,llo?
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L: what the hell wa
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/* that was your modem getting sick of all the bullshit you're saying */
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L: Hello
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CM: lo
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CM: what was that?
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L: Wow.... something just got fucked.... anyway.....
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CM: shit...hold on...I'll brb
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/* I exited chat for a few here... */
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x
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...Okay, exiting chat...
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***
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From Loop: Hi
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***
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From Loop: hi
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:chat loop
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Ok, Loop has been notified of your request to chat.
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:***
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Loop has accepted your request to chat!
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********* Chat Mode Activated *********
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WARNING - DO NOT type your PASSWORD at
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any time while in chat mode!!!
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Type 'X' on a blank line to exit.
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CM: lo!
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L: Hi
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CM: So, what would you like to know?
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L: huh??? Me like to know?
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CM: yeah....I asked if you were a hacker and you said you have to know more
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about myself first.
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/* I think maybe he is gay */
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L: Well then,, go ahead.
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CM: what do you want to know?
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L: Age, Location, ummmm. Where do you call up. (BBSes) /* Really? I thought
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you meant pizza
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places!! */
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CM: 23, South Boston, ATDT, Plan 9, The internet
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L: What's your int. address
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CM: darkside@bronze.lcs.mit.edu and darkside@hal.gnu.ai.mit.edu
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L: What the fuck? /* he gets what he asks for and then doesn't know what it
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is?? */
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CM: those are my two internet addresses.
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/* I actually wanted to say fuck off, bozo and log him off */
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L: ooh. It looked a bit long /* his glasses are all steamed up from viewing
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the X-rated GIFs and he can't see well */
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CM: didn't you see the 'and' ?
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L: I've got crazy ln tonight
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CM: what???
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L: line noise
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CM: oh...duh...anyway, so, you're a hacker, no?
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L: sort of
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CM: what have you hacked?
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L: Well, most MBBS s are easy once you've done one.
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/* right around here I started getting nervous from being in the presence of
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this Jesse James of the hacking world. YEAH RIGHT. */
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CM: I see....so is MBBS all you hack?
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NO! There are local switches, and my favorite international one in the bahamas
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/* I have no idea what he is babbling about */
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CM: uh, I'm not sure what you're talking about...but anyway, what else have you
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hacked?
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L: Not all hackers are by themselves! I hack and phreak with my friends.
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/* still hasn't answered my question. Perhaps he is lobotomized... */
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CM: cool. is there a group name?
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L: We havent come up with one for some stupid reasons
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/* and that stupid reason is that the group doesn't exist */
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CM: interesting....so, how do you phreak?
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L: Boxes, mfers, switches you kknow
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CM: boxes? /* play dumb */
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L: Blue boxes, black boxes.....
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CM: black boxes? do they still work?
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L: In some places
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CM: oic....so, what boards are you on?
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L: I was on hog, now WOW! A BIG ASS ROACH JUST BIT MY FOOT!
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/* was on HoG? I must've deleted this dickwad when I was RemOp */
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CM: kill it! /* hurry, it's your mother! */
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L: done /* good now if I can only get him to kill himself */
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CM: good....now, what boards are you on?
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L: I was onn HHoG, (It was raided) Now, on zopperdot, here just to talk,
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and other fa ffar awway onnnes.
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/* zapperdot. non existant as far as I am concerned. Anyone else hear of it?
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HoG. Raided. That's pretty funny. I just called five minutes ago */
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CM: cool....too bad about HoG though....I've never heard of it/never called
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there...what did they have online?
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L: Everything Someone llike me would want.
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/* roundabout answers mean only thing: person giving them doesn't know jack
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shit */
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CM: interesting...and what is that? Oh, and do you know of any local groups around
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here?
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L: UGG's? /* fucking girl scouts, dickhead...what do you think? */
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CM: excuse me?
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L: User groups?
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CM: no, uh, well, you know: h/p groups or anything...
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L: Hacks don't use those /* don't use them? how do you use a group? */
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CM: I thought there were some groups around here?
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L: Well, BBSes /* No, loser. groups. not BBSes. */
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CM: no, I mean groups of hackers....and they all go by a certain name....
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L: One question: Whhy are you so interested
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/* talking to imeciles always makes my day */
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CM: because it is a fascinating subject....and I am writing a story on it...
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L: Maybe I shoould stop then
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CM: why?
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L: WRITING A STORY! /* the amazement of using his brain just hit him */
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CM: yeah, so? it's not like I have your real name or anything...
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L: Well, we have reputationss behing our handles
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/* reputation? what is his hacking handle? wanna_be@losers.r.us ? */
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CM: uh huh...and what is the reputation behind yours? Is 'loop' your h/p
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handle or just the one you use here?
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/* loop...hmm...maybe he's just going around in circles! haha */
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L: MMany have a few handles
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CM: so, what is yours?
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L: I told you, we have reps.!
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CM: so what? how will telling me your handle ruin your rep?
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L: If I was caught spilling?
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CM: you're not spilling anything to anyone...
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L: So, why else besidess a story, for youur own biis?
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CM: biis?
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L: business..
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CM: of course
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L: Why u want 2 knoww?
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CM: plain old curiousity.,..
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L: Curiosity killss
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/* ooh! a philosopher too! */
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CM: yeah, well, I have 9 lives
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L: Whatt are you, a fucking cat?
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CM: absolutely
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L: crazy mfer
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CM: and proud of it....so, are you going to answer me?
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L: Try a null characteer
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/* try a intelligent response */
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CM: haha......what are you so hesitant about?
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L: Thosse feds will kill ya
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/* oh no. I'm a fed again. Kingpin, get over here! Time For Joe Fed! hah */
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CM: hey, Jr, I'm not a fed
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L: JR??????? NO WAY!
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/* uh oh...an upset little kid..oh no */
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CM: yeah, Jr.
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L: OK, senior.
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CM: ahh...a humorous hacker...how lovely....so, tell me more? I have some
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things here and I don't know what they stand for......one of them is
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INC...and another is LOD...and RDT....what the hell are those?
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/* I have a better chance at correct answers if I ask one of the wino's
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downtown */
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L: Are you kidding??????
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CM: No, I don't know what they stand for...
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L: c= The C programming lingua
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/* lingua? He must be Spanish...did I ask about C? */
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L: lod=Legion of Doom
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L: RDT= You should know! /* which means you don't */
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CM: No, I don't know...do you? And what is INC?
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L: Ooh please!
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CM: well??
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L: inc!
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CM: yeah? is?
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L: Go buy a book
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/* so you can borrow it right? */
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CM: what book?
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L: Something like the computer dictionary of terms
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/* yeah..lesse...page 874...yup! INC. International Network Of Crackers.
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Sure...uh huh... */
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CM: why won't you just answer me?
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L: It's a waste of time
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/* I'd tell you but I forgot how to spell 'crackers' !! */
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CM: but you answered LOD...
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/* hell, my mother know what LOD stands for... */
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L: Diddn't you know?????!!!
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CM: NO!!!! why would I ask if I knew???
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L: mmmmmm. I dunno. Theen whhhattt do you thinkk a null character is??!!
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CM: a null character? an empty one?
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L: what?
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CM: nevermind....what does INC stand for? and RDT?
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L: JUST GT A BOOK AAND READ YOUR BRAINS OUT! /* or blow yours out */
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CM: don't you know?
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L: YEES! /* NOO! */
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CM: then tell me!
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L: No
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CM: you don't know!
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L: There aree 2 basiic meaningngs of both. I'll tell you first meaning
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/* which is the only one my feeble brain knows */
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CM: go for it
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L: fort?
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CM: what?
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L: nm...
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L: ininiinnc. is abb. for an incorperation, and the othther, rdt is a
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terrrmmmm for reccceiving dataa trransmittion
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/* this is classic....a stuttering typist... */
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CM: yeah, but, what are the other meanings???
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L: I can't say
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CM: yes you can!
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L: Let me cacall back foor a better line
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CM: welp, I know you're probably not going to call back...ttyl! /* doubtful */
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L: i will /* I hope not */
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CM: ok /* go die */
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/* Here we exited chat and I logged off. When I came back he was not there
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but he left me email telling me how much of a loss it was of mine to have
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missed him. For some reason I don't think I really missed much */
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Criminal Minded <tm>
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AKA
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Genetic Mutation
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AKA
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darkside@bronze.lcs.mit.edu
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darkside@hal.gnu.ai.mit.edu
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/*==========================================================================*/
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