608 lines
24 KiB
Plaintext
608 lines
24 KiB
Plaintext
F I D O N E W S Volume 17, Number 09 28 Feb 2000
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+----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
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| The newsletter of the | ISSN 1198-4589 Published by: |
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| FidoNet community | "FidoNews" |
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| _ | 1-717-732-6820 1:270/720 |
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| / \ | |
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| /|oo \ | |
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| (_| /_) | |
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| _`@/_ \ _ | |
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| | | \ \\ | Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720 |
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| | (*) | \ )) | DougM@paonline.com |
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| |__U__| / \// | |
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| _//|| _\ / | |
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| (_/(_|(____/ | |
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| (jm) | Newspapers should have no friends. |
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| | -- JOSEPH PULITZER |
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+----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
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Table of Contents
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1. EDITORIAL ................................................ 1
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Sysops Majorly Against Rough Treatment ................... 1
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2. CORRECTIONS .............................................. 2
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3. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR .................................... 3
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An open letter to Charles Hunter ......................... 3
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New Principles ........................................... 3
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4. COLUMNS .................................................. 5
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Engineering 401 .......................................... 5
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ECHO TALK - Try saying this .............................. 6
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This Weeks Web Page ...................................... 8
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5. NET HUMOR ................................................ 10
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Letteral Definitions ..................................... 10
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6. COMIX IN ASCII ........................................... 11
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Even moo cool cows ....................................... 11
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7. FIDONEWS INFO ............................................ 12
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Masthead ................................................. 12
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FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 1 28 Feb 2000
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=================================================================
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EDITORIAL
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=================================================================
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Sysops Majorly Against Rough Treatment
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Doug Myers
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Admittedly, my recent nomination as the Overlord of the ElfLords
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went to my head for a while, but I've been knocked down a peg or two
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since then. I called upon my illusory powers to form a new
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alliance, the Association of Sympathetic Sysops - an elite group to
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embrace those delicate users of Fido who are easily offended. I
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called upon the sysops to create a womb of understanding in which
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the sensitive could nurture protected from the bullies of Fidonet.
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But response to my registration drive has been light. Perhaps
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sysops know that bringing these senistive souls into Fido is going
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to be tough... or perhaps my personal magnetism became degaussed.
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For whatever reason, sysops have largely ignored my plea for them to
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step forward and make an A.S.S. of themselves.
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Undaunted, I am pressing forward with yet another association to
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assist the first. Only this time, we're not going to fool around
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with sensitivity training or sissy concepts like a protective womb.
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Sysops Majorly Against Rough Treatment will focus instead on
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practical advice to emerging sensitive individuals.
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I'm happy to report that this combination of groups seems to be
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well-received, and I think I can safely predict that sensitive
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individuals such as "The Hunter" can present their problems and be
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assured of a prompt S.M.A.R.T. - A.S.S. reply.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 2 28 Feb 2000
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=================================================================
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CORRECTIONS
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=================================================================
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If you tried to contact Roy Reed from the address listed in the
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masthead, it was incorrect prior to this edition.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 3 28 Feb 2000
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=================================================================
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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
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=================================================================
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An open letter to Charles Hunter
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Email from Steve Fredette <jesussmokespot@yahoo.ca>
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_ _
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/~\\ //~\
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_----_ | \\ // |
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,__./#% o `, [ || || ]
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.__.--%##%% ,' \. ] Y || || Y [
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/%%########%% .====\ | \_|l,------.l|_/ |
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__.;%##/// ,/ | >' `< |
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____-- ,,,,,/ ,/ \ (/~`--____--'~\) /
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__====..,''''''' ,/ `-_>-__________-<_-'
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..__-- ,,,,,, ,,,, ,./ /(_#(__)#_)\
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/ ,,,,.'''`````'/////// \___/__\___/
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""""" \/ \/ /__`--'__\
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<< << /\(__,>-~~ __)
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\\ \\ /\//\\( `--~~ )
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\\ \\ '\/ <^\ /^>
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--``-``===; _\ >-__-< /_
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\, \, (___\ /___)
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....Steve (1:163/551)
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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New Principles
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Email from Luke.Kolin@connect.xerox.com
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I would like to comment on David Smith's recent article regarding
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first principles of Fidonet. The Internet vs. Fidonet debate has
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been going on in my memory since approximately 1994, and I think a
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few things have changed over the years that deserve addressing.
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I should begin by bidding adieu to the sentiment I often saw at the
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beginning that the Internet was 'just a passing fad' - that the
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whole thing would crash under the weight of spam and BBS systems
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would enjoy a new renaissance. I don't shed too many tears for its
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passing, since each day when I hook up to the Internet it never
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ceases to amaze me the sheer volume of useful content I can access
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quickly (far faster than calling a BBS or freq) and with zero
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marginal cost.
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I think that David misses some of the point when he addressed the
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lack of useful interactive content on the Web, and characterises it
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as "whatever a machine can provide out of it's [sic] canned
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responses & stored files." I respectfully disagree. There is
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valuable interactive content on the Internet - it just takes some
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FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 4 28 Feb 2000
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searching. For example, I am a regular participant in Joe Grasmick's
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US immigration web site form (www.grasmick.com) which is a very
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valuable resource for Canadians working and living in the United
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States. I ocasionally participate on a Toyota MR2 owners' web site
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forum that continually provides me with excellent content.
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I will readily concede that it has taken a fair amount of time to
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reach this point - and part of the battle has been in the creation
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of effective discussion applications on the Web that facilitate
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search, browsing and easy reading. We are reaching that point today.
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What has amazed me all these years is that FidoNet has never changed
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the fundamental technology upon which it operates. I don't think for
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a second that that a text-based dial-up technology is superior to a
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GUI display that, thanks to high-speed lines, allows thousands of
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users to connect to a site at once.
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From a content provider's point of view, the greatest aspect of the
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Internet has been eliminating the necessity of worrying about
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infrastructure and allowing one to concentrate on content. I don't
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need to have multiple modems and phone lines - if I host on an ISP
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or other hosting service, I don't even need to own a computer. If we
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consistently suggest that FidoNet's greatest value is its content,
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why don't we take the principles that worked so well for FidoNet and
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implement a Web-based solution that will achieve the same end? Lord
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knows it wasn't FTS-0001 and ZMH that got FidoNet where it was in
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its heyday.
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Cheers!
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--
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Luke J Kolin (KLJ-ORG)
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Senior Consultant
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Xerox Connect, Inc. (Atlanta)
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770-569-5683
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 5 28 Feb 2000
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=================================================================
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COLUMNS
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=================================================================
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Engineering 401
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by Ol' WDBonner@pacbell.net
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"Professor's Definitions Of A Kiss"
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Professors of different subjects define the
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same word in different ways:
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Prof. of Computer Science:
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A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.
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Prof. of Algebra:
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A kiss is two divided by nothing.
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Prof. of Geometry:
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A kiss is the shortest distance between two
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straight lines.
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Prof. of Physics:
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A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the
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expansion of the heart.
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Prof. of Chemistry:
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A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between
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two hearts.
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Prof. of Zoology:
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A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary
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bacteria.
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Prof. of Physiology:
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A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis
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oris muscles in the state of contraction.
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Prof. of Dentistry:
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A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
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Prof. of Accountancy:
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A kiss is a credit because it is profitable
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when returned.
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Prof. of Economics:
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A kiss is that thing for which the demand is
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higher than the supply.
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Prof. of Statistics:
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A kiss is an event whose probability depends
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on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.
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Prof. of Philosophy:
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A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy
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FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 6 28 Feb 2000
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for the youth and homage for the old.
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Prof. of English:
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A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction;
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it is more common than proper; it is spoken
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in the plural and it is applicable to all.
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Prof. of Engineering:
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Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term. <chuckle>
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WDB
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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. -- -- -- -- -- ECHO TALK -- -- -- -- -- .
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| Food for thought from Fido's echomail. |
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| Purloined without permission by D Myers |
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` -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- '
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August Abolins, 1:163/144
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A Letter from Fidonet Management
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It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
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throughout Fidonet have been using foul language during the course
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of normal conversation in echomail. Due to complaints received from
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the one person who may be easily offended, this type of language
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will be no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical
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importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when
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communicating with others.
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Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so
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that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
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effective manner without risk of offending this one sensitive
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person.
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TRY SAYING:
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Perhaps I can help you with that.
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INSTEAD OF:
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And when the f*ck do you expect me find an answer for that?
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TRY SAYING:
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I'm certain that isn't feasible.
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INSTEAD OF:
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No f*cking way.
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TRY SAYING:
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Really?
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INSTEAD OF:
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You've got to be shitting me!
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TRY SAYING:
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Perhaps you should check with...
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INSTEAD OF:
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Tell someone who gives a shit.
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FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 7 28 Feb 2000
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TRY SAYING:
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Of course I'm concerned.
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INSTEAD OF:
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Ask me if I give a shit.
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TRY SAYING:
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I wasn't involved in the project.
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INSTEAD OF:
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It's not my f*cking problem.
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TRY SAYING:
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That's interesting.
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INSTEAD OF:
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What the f*ck?
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TRY SAYING:
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I'm not sure this can be implemented.
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INSTEAD OF:
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This shit won't work.
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TRY SAYING:
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I'll try to schedule that.
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INSTEAD OF:
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Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
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TRY SAYING:
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Are you sure this is a problem?
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INSTEAD OF:
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Who the hell cares?
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TRY SAYING:
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He's not familiar with the issues.
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INSTEAD OF:
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He's got his head up his ass.
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TRY SAYING:
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Excuse me, sir?
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INSTEAD OF:
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Eat shit and die.
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TRY SAYING:
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So you weren't happy with it?
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INSTEAD OF:
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Kiss my ass.
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TRY SAYING:
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I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
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INSTEAD OF:
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F*ck it, I'm on salary.
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TRY SAYING:
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I don't think you understand.
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INSTEAD OF:
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Shove it up your ass.
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TRY SAYING:
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FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 8 28 Feb 2000
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I love a challenge.
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INSTEAD OF:
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This sucks.
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TRY SAYING:
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You want me to take care of that?
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INSTEAD OF:
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Who the hell died and made you boss?
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TRY SAYING:
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I see.
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INSTEAD OF:
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Blow me.
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TRY SAYING:
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I don't think this will be a problem.
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INSTEAD OF:
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I really don't give a shit.
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TRY SAYING:
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He's somewhat insensitive.
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INSTEAD OF:
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He's a prick.
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TRY SAYING:
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She's an aggressive go-getter.
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INSTEAD OF:
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She's a ball-busting bitch.
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TRY SAYING:
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I think you could use more training.
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INSTEAD OF:
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You don't know what the f*ck you're doing.
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Thank You,
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Fidonet Management
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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This Weeks Web Page
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by Frank Vest
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1:124/6308(.1)
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What: Net282
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Where: http://www.rxn.com/~net282/
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The meat of it.
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Net 282 is a FidoNet sub-net covering the extended metropolitan area
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of the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul. The Twin Cities are
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located in east-central Minnesota. (taken from the page)
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This is a long page. It starts with a map of the U.S.A. on which the
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FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 9 28 Feb 2000
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location of Net282 is circled. Other than the WebRing banner at the
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bottom, this is the only graphic on the page.
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Now... you might be saying "No graphics!?!"... but wait. This page
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is rich in access to historical documents on Fidonet as well as
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current information. From the bottom of the map to the top of the
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WebRing banner, it is filled with links with subjects such as "Find
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out how to join Net 282!" as well as "Link to Net 282 Member's Home
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Pages " and more. Under this section are links to Fidonet related
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sites, Fidonet Policy documents (both present and past), technical
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standards, Fidonews, the Nodelist, Fidonet history and more.
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I haven't checked every link, but I will tell you that I intend to
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visit and read and/or capture a lot of the information on this page.
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If you're looking for a wealth of information on Fidonet, check this
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page out. Even if you aren't, check it out anyway... You just might
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learn something. :-)
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Till Next week, regards,
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Frank
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 10 28 Feb 2000
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=================================================================
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NET HUMOR
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=================================================================
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Letteral Definitions
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Thanks to Roy Reed
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The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any
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word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or
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changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some
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recent winners
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Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
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reader who doesn't get it.
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Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
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Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
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Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
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obtaining sex.
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Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.
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Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
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Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
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they come at you rapidly.
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Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
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really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
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like a serious bummer.
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Glibido: All talk and no action.
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Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts
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until you realize it was your money to start with.
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Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an butthole.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 11 28 Feb 2000
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|
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=================================================================
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COMIX IN ASCII
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||
=================================================================
|
||
|
||
|
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Even moo cool cows...
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----------------------
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||
(__) | \-/ \-/ || |
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(oo) | _|_ _|_ |__| |
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/-------\/ ----------------------
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/ | || | \-/ | | | |
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* ||----|| | _|_ |_| |_| |_| |
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^^ ^^ ----------------------
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Just a humble cownoisseur
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oo --
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\/
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cow by night sleeping cow by night Chesire Cow
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__ ________ ------
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_/__\_ |__| | |====|
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/=(OO) (oo) * | v|
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--/==-\/==\ /-------\/ |^^ *|
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/ | \==|| \==\ /// / | || ------
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* ||-|==|| \==\/==/ * ||----||
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~~ ///~~ \===/ ^^ ^^
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Gallifreyan Cow Straight out of Cowllege
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 12 28 Feb 2000
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|
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=================================================================
|
||
FIDONEWS INFO
|
||
=================================================================
|
||
|
||
Masthead
|
||
|
||
+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- FIDONEWS STAFF - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
|
||
| |
|
||
| Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720, DougM@paonline.com |
|
||
| Webmaster: Jim Barchuk, jb@fidonews.org |
|
||
| Columnist: Joe Jared, 1:103/0, jarhead@osirusoft.com |
|
||
| (Fido Via Internet Hubs column) |
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| Columnist: Warren D. Bonner, 1:103/401, wdbonner@pacbell.net |
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| (Warren uses the pen name "Ol'WDB") |
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| Humor: Roy Reed, rcreedv@juno.com |
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| Features: Frank Vest, 1:124/6308.1 |
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| |
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+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
|
||
|
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+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - EDITORS EMERITI - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
|
||
| |
|
||
| Tom Jennings, Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell, Vince |
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||
| Perriello, Tim Pozar, Sylvia Maxwell, Donald Tees, |
|
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| Christopher Baker, Zorch Frezberg, Henk Wolsink |
|
||
| |
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+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
|
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"Fido", "FidoNet" and the dog-with-diskette are U.S. registered
|
||
trademarks of Tom Jennings, P.O. Box 410923, San Francisco, CA
|
||
94141, and are used with permission.
|
||
|
||
Fidonews is published weekly by and for the members of Fidonet.
|
||
Fidonews is Copyright (C) 2000 by Douglas Myers, though authors
|
||
retain rights to their contributed articles. Opinion expressed by
|
||
the authors is strictly their own. Noncommercial duplication and
|
||
distribution within Fidonet is encouraged. Authors are encouraged
|
||
to send their articles in ASCII text to Douglas Myers at one of his
|
||
addresses above.
|
||
|
||
The weekly edition of Fidonews is distributed through the file area
|
||
FIDONEWS, and is published as echomail in the echo FIDONEWS. These
|
||
sources are normally available through your Network Coordinator.
|
||
The current and past issues are also available from the following
|
||
sources:
|
||
|
||
+ -- -- -- -- -- -- - FIDONEWS AVAILABILITY - -- -- -- -- -- -- +
|
||
| |
|
||
| Freq FIDONEWS @ 1:270/720, 1:140/1, or 1:396/1 |
|
||
| ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/ |
|
||
| ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/ |
|
||
| http://www.fidonews.org |
|
||
| email subscription: majordomo@fidonews.org |
|
||
| (subject: help body: list) |
|
||
| ftp mail: ftpmail@fidonews.org (subject: help) |
|
||
| |
|
||
+ -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
|
||
FIDONEWS 17-09 Page 13 28 Feb 2000
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