81 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
81 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
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| A nice way to screw over the Post Office |
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The increasing cost of postage to mail letters and packages is
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bringing down our standard of living. To remedy this deplorable
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situation, some counter control measures can be applied.
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For example, if the stamps on a letter are coated with Elmer's
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Glue by the sender, the cancellation mark will not destroy the stamp:
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the Elmer/s drives to form an almost invisible coating that protects
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the stamps from the cancellation ink. Later, the receiver of the
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letter can remove the cancellation mark with water and reuse the
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stamps. Furthermore, ecological saving will also result from recycling
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the stamps. Help save a tree.
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The glue is most efficently applied with a brush with stiff,
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short bristles. Just dip the brush directly into the glue and spread
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it on evenly, covering the entire surface of the stamp. It will dry
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in about 15 minutes.
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For mailing packages, just follow the same procedure as outlined
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bove; however, the package should be weighed and checked to make sure
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that it has the correct amount of postage on it before it is taken to
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the Post Office.
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Removing the cancellation and the glue from the stamps can be
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easily accomplished by soaking the stamps in warm water until they
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loat free from the paper. The stamps can then be put onto a paper
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towel to dry. Processing stamps in large batches saves time too.
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Also, it may be helpful to write the word 'Elmer' at the top of the
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letter (not on the envelope) to cue the receiving party in that the
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stamps have been protected with the glue.
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We all know that mailing packages can be expensive. And we also
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know that the handicapped are sometimes discriminated against in jobs.
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The Government, being the generous people they are, have given the
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lind free postal service.
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Simply address you envelope as usual, and make one modification.
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In the corner where the stamp would go, write in (or stamp) the words
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'FREE MATTER FOR THE BLIND". Then drop you package or letter in one
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f the blue fedral mailboxes. DO NOT TAKE THE LETTER TO THE POST
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OFFICE, OR LEAVE IT IN YOUR MAILBOX.
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Sounds very nice of the government to do this, right? Well, they
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aren't that nice. The parcel is sent library rate, that is below
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third class. It may take four to five days to send a letter to just
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the next town.
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This too is quite simple, but less effective. Put the address
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that you are sending the letter to as the return address. If you were
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sending a $20 donation to the pirate's Chest, you would put our
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ddress (po box 644, lincoln ma. 01773) as the return address.
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Then you would have to be carless and forget to put the stamp on
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the envelope. A nice touch is to put a bullshit address in the center
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of the envelope.
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Again, you MUST drop the letter in a FEDRAL mailbox. If the post
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office doesn't send the letter to the return address for having no
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stamp, they will send it back for the reason of "No such address".
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Example--
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Pirates Chest
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P.O. Box 644
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Lincol, Ma.
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01773
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John Doe
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20 Fake Road
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Nowhere, XX
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99851
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Uploaded by Lord Havoc
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DOWNLOADED FROM P-80 SYSTEMS......
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