156 lines
6.1 KiB
Plaintext
156 lines
6.1 KiB
Plaintext
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_______________________________________________
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| .. Happy Holidays .. |
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| The latest file from: |
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| ___ /\ /\ |
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| \ / \ /\ / \ |
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| \ / \ / \ / \___ |
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| \/ \/ |
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| The [S]tatic [S]yndicate |
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| Written By: The Ninja |
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| Now residing at these great boards: |
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| The Kepone Factory - 2400 .... [609] 799-5148 |
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| The Dead Zone BBS - 1200 .... [609] 443-4762 |
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|_______________________________________________|
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Hello there .. so nice to see all of you again. Has
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it been that long since the last file? Who the fuck really
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cares? Anyway - with the holiday season now in full swing I
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figured I'd better pump out a file on what you ignorant
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little shits should do in the shopping malls, on the
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streets, and of course - in school! I know you've read all
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the other neat-o files out there, but only a select few have
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the right idea. It is from these files, along with my own
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ideas, that I will present you with the latest in HOLIDAY
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PHUN .. so kick back and open a brew while you read this,
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and in case I forget .. Happy Holidays ..
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<Of course - I give credit where it is due - unlike some
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assholes we know!>
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============================================================
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From: How To Kill Santa Claus Dead!
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By : The >Outland> / Kneon Knights/Metal Communications
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BBS : Milliways 10 Meg BBS/AE (609)/921-1994
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============================================================
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>Outland> had some really nice ideas in this file. What you
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see below are the highlights of the file - or what I feel
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his best ideas were ..
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"Tie a piano wire across two telephone poles and slit the
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fat shit's throat when he sails through."
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"Fire a fat seeking missle at his sleigh and blow the
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fucker up in mid air."
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"Sacrifice his reindeer."
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"Have him arrested for breaking and entering..."
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As you can see, >Outland> is really not too fond of the
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Big Red One - Santa Claus. Remember to call his board!
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Aside from Santa Claus there are plenty of other fun
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if not anarchaic things to do in the winter time.
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Remember that old old old file "Anarchy In The Snow"
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by this one and very same Ninja? Lord, I hope not.
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I had some good ideas - but just could not get them
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across in a text file ..
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The best thing to do from that file is the "Bloody
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Arm In the Street Snow" or "Funnelating Ice Balls"
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Check this BBS/AE for the file "Anarchy In The Snow"
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Any half decent place should have it.
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If not you can call The Kepone Factory and get it.
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Now that Winter 1986/87 is upon us it is time for us "new
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age" anarchists to come up with some new age ideas to just
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generally piss people off in the cold weather.
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If you like being immature <and who doesn't?> you could
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always fill up a few water ballons <any liquid will do>
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and throw them at people when it is VERY <sub 0> cold
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out. Watch how quickly ice forms on skin!
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Ever see those good-for-nothing bums who are always trying
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to scrounge money off of you by washing your winshields in
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the city? Well - who the hell wants water on thier
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windshield in sub zero weather? Get out the spray bottle
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and your old clothes - time to freeze some windows. Think
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of all the hairy accidents you can cause.
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Accidents? Did someone say accidents? Well, remember the
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famed "Mormon File"? I hope so .. go and try my ideas on
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that in the snow and boy are you in for a blast!
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Let's move inside now .. even anarchists get cold after a
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while! Shopping malls - full of the hustle and bustle of
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people buying this and that. The holiday spirit is in the
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air. Fuck that! Who needs that shit. Go and terrorize
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all the Mall Santas you can find. Antagonize and threaten
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them from a distance. Do it real close. Watch all the
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little boys and girls cry when they find out that Santa
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is really Mr. Smith the mailman -
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Fuck a few stores over. Switch the pricetags on
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everything. But DON'T YOU buy them because then
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that's shoplifting .. wait till Mom sees what a
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bargain LAZER TAG really is at $9.99. Just watch
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and hold in your laughter as she takes Johnny's
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Xmas present to the counter - and the cashier calls
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the manager - who calls security .. heh heh ..
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Bring a $10 bill to a Salvation Army Santa and
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ask if you can have change.
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Enough! Get out of the mall you mall rat!
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School - ah well, vacation is over and it's school
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time again .. shit .. extend your vacation another
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day. Call the school and make a bomb threat. If they
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do not close the school, then go and start a rumor that
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you heard there was a bomb threat and theydid not
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believe it. All of those "will-be" lawyers in your
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school will crawl out of the woodwork and cry to the
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administration that they are endangering our lives.
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As a matter of fact - do not even call the school, just
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call your local police station first and tell them about
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the bomb. If you live in a hick town like most of us they
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will shit in thier pants and close the whole town.
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Turn over and go to sleep ..
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Eventually they will stop buying that after you have done
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it 10 days in a row. So now it is mid-January and you've
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got to go to school.
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Let them know of your discontent with having to take time
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out of YOUR busy schedule to go to THIER school -
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.. go crazy! ..
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Ah well - I'm too fucking tired to finish this .. read
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and enjoy ..
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Don't forget to call these [S]tatic [S]yndicate boards:
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=+=---===---===---===---===---===---===---===---===---=+=
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| The Kepone Factory 2400 ............ [609] 799-5148 |
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| The Dead Zone BBS 1200 ............ [609] 443-476 |