137 lines
8.1 KiB
Plaintext
137 lines
8.1 KiB
Plaintext
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ $
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$ MONEY $
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$ $
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$ LAUNDERING $
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$ $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ BY $
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$ $
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$ BIG BAD BARBARIAN $
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$ $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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LAUN-DER (LON'DER), V.T. & V.I. 1. TO WASH, IRON, ETC. (CLOTHES). 2. THE
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REROUTING, OR CONVERSION IN ANY WAY, OF HOT, UNTAXED MONEY OR OTHER ASSETS
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INTO UNTRACEABLE OR APPARENTLY LEGITIMATE CASH OR ASSETS.
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THIS FILE DEALS WITH HOW SOME PEOPLE DO THE LATTER, AND IS NOT A CONDONEMENT.
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LET'S SAY THIS GUY HAS JUST COME INTO ABOUT $1,000,000 AND DIDN'T WIN ANY
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BOY SCOUT BADGES GETTING IT. WHAT DOES HE DO WITH IT?
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HE CAN'T KEEP IT IN HIS HOUSE, BECAUSE IF THE COPS GET A SEARCH WARRANT
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AGAINST HIM, A DUFFEL BAG FILLED WITH CASH UNDER THE BED CAN BE EMBARASSING.
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HE COULD PUT IT INTO A SAFE DEPOSIT BOX, BUT HE'D EITHER HAVE TO VISIT IT
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TOO OFTEN, WHICH WOULD SUSPICIOUSLY SHOW UP ON THE BANK'S RECORDS, OR VISIT IT
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INFREQUENTLY, WHICH MEANS CARRYING HUGE SUMS OF CURRENCY AROUND. IN EITHER
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CASE, IF THE POLICE WANT TO LOOK AT THE BOX, THE BANK HAS TO LET THEM.
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A CHECKING ACCOUNT? BY LAW, DEPOSITS OF MORE THAN $10,000 HAVE TO BE
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REPORTED TO THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT. IF OUR FRIEND JUST DEPOSITED $9,000 AT
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A TIME, HE HAVE TO MAKE OVER 30 TRANSACTIONS, ANOTHER FLAG IN THE AIR FOR THE
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AUTHORITIES TO SEE. (BANKS JUST LOVE TO COOPERATE WITH THE GOOFAMAN).
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THIS GUY CAN'T WIN, CAN HE? WHEN YOU DEAL WITH BANKS, YOU LEAVE TRACKS.
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YOU COULD SPEND A FEW THOUSAND A YEAR AND ATTRACT NO ATTENTION, BUT WHO WANTS
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TO LIVE ON 5 DIGITS A YEAR WHEN YOU'VE GOT 7 DIGITS LAYING AROUND? DIRTY MONEY
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MUST BE LAUNDERED IN ORDER FOR IT TO TRULY BECOME YOUR CASH. THE METHODS FOR
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DOING THIS VARY DEPENDING ON CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES.
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---
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SECURITIES: JERRY ZELMANOWITZ, A MOB OPERATIVE, SOLVED THE PROBLEM OF
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LAUNDERING STOLEN SECURITIES. ANY GOOD THIEF WILL KEEP HIS STOLEN MONEY,
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JEWELRY, AND ASSORTED GOODIES, AND TRASH THE SECURITIES. JERRY CHANGED ALL
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THIS BY OPENING SOME EUROPEAN BANK ACCOUNTS, TRANSFERRING FUNDS AROUND TO SHOW
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SEVERAL LEGITIMATE TRANSACTIONS, AND THEN USING THE STOLEN SECURITIES FOR LOAN
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COLLATERAL. HE KEPT THE LOANS OUTSTANDING, AND HIS CLIENTS HAD SOME NIFTY
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CAPITAL TO WORK WITH. THEY COULD PAY THEIR LOANS BACK, KEEP REFINANCING THEM,
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OR SIMPLY DEFAULT ON THEM, LETTING THE BANK DISPOSE OF THE COLLATERAL.
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THE CATCH? A BANK CLERK MAY HAVE CHECKED THE SECURITIES AGAINST A
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HOT-LIST AND CAUGHT THE GUY. ANOTHER OPERATIVE GOT AROUND THIS BY PUTTING A
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BANK CLERK IN HIS BACK POCKET, WHO THEN SWITCHED THE STOLEN SECURITIES FOR
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LEGIT ONES OF THE SAME ISSUE. BUT WHAT IF ANOTHER CLERK CHECKS THE SERIAL
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NUMBERS? YIKES! NO WAY AROUND THAT ONE.
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SMALL CHANGE: E THE $1,000,000 IS IN $1'S, $5'S, $10'S, $20'S, THE KIND
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OF BILLS WITH WHICH JUNKIES PAY FOR DRUGS, JOHNS PAY THEIR HOOKER'S PIMP, ETC.
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HE CAN'T REALLY WALTZ INTO A SWEDISH BANK AND PLOP A MOUNTAIN OF DIRTY,
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CRUMPLED LITTLE BILLS AND SAY "I'D LIKE TO MAKE A DEPOSIT, PLEASE. I OWN A
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7-11 IN THE STATES AND THIS IS MY CASH-DRAWER TAKE."
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TO SOLVE THIS, YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO GO TO EUROPE. JUST PUT A BANK CLERK
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IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND (THERE IS AN UNDERWORLD BANKING SYSTEM OUT THERE -
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MEMBERS ARE NOT HARD TO FIND). THEY TAKE YOUR $1'S AND $5'S AND TURN THEM INTO
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CLEAN, CRISP $50'S AND $100'S. THE BANK DOESN'T SUFFER, AND NEITHER DOES THE
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CLERK (CLERKS IN BIG CITY BANKS TAKE 1% OF WHAT THE LAUNDER). THE ONLY LAW
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THEY BREAK IS NOT REPORTING $10,000-PLUS TRANSACTIONS. BUT IT DOES WORK, FOR
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AWHILE. BEFORE GETTING CAUGHT, EMPLOYEES OF CHEMICAL BANK CHANGED OVER
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$8,000,000.
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SMALL BUSINESS: THE IRS IS AS BIG A PROBLEM FOR A CROOK AS THE FBI. IF YOU
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OWN TWO BUILDINGS, FIVE LAMBORGHINIS, TAKE SEMI-ANNUAL TRIPS TO TAHITI, YOU
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CAN'T TURN AROUND AND TELL THE IRS YOU MAKE $15,000 A YEAR AS A MAIL SORTER
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(SOMEONE TRIED THAT RECENTLY - WITHOUT SUCCESS).
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ONE CROOK OWNED A DINER ON THE SIDE. AT NIGHT, HE WOULD DISMISS HIS
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CASHIER AND START RINGING UP PHONY SALES WITH HIS STOLEN CASH. HE'D REPORT
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HIS PROFITS HONESTLY, PAY TAXES ON THEM, AND KEEP, PERHAPS, 50% OF HIS DIRTY
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LOOT. BUT NOW IT WAS CLEAN LOOT, AND AS LONG AS THE IRS GOT ITS TAX MONEY, IT
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HAD NO REASON TO NOTIFY THE FEDS. HE USED HIS ILLEGALLY INFLATED PROFITS TO
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BUY SOME MORE DINERS, AND LAUNDER EVEN LARGER AMOUNTS OF DIRTY CASH.
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WHEN HE BOUGHT THE DINERS, HE MIGHT HAVE TOLD THE IRS THAT HE PAID LESS
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FOR THEM THAN HE ACTUALLY DID. IF AN AUDIT WAS DONE, THE IRS WOULD HAVE
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SUSPECTED THE SELLER OF UNDERHANDED DOINGS, NOT THE BUYER WITH THE HOT CASH.
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LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT: TRAVELER'S CHECKS ARE PROBABLY THE BEST METHOD OF
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CLEANING CASH. HOWEVER, SPECIAL RECORDS ARE KEPT FOR CHECKS MADE OUT FOR MORE
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THAN $5,000. BUT IN A BIG CITY, ONE CAN PURCHASE SEVERAL KINDS OF TRAVELER'S
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CHECKS FROM A VARIETY OF OUTLETS. TO LAUNDER $100,000 OF CASH WOULD MEAN
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MAKING TRIPS TO 20 DIFFERENT OFFICES, BUT THAT'S NOT BAD FOR ONE DAY OF WORK,
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ONCE A MONTH. THE ONLY ADDITIONAL LABOR IS IN BURNING THE CHECKS, FLUSHING
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THE ASHES DOWN THE WHITE WISHING WELL, AND TAKING THE RECEIPTS BACK FOR
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REFUNDS OF CLEAN, UNTRACEABLE MOOLA.
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LEAVE HOME WITH IT: BETTER THAN GETTING A REFUND AT AN AMERICAN OFFICE,
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IT'S SAFER TO TAKE A TRIP TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY, PREFERABLY SWEDEN, REFUND YOUR
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MONEY THERE, AND OPEN AN ACCOUNT. SOME BANKS IN SWEDEN REQUIRE AMERICANS TO
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SIGN A WAIVER OF THE SWEDISH BANK SECRECY LAWS, BUT IF A CUSTOMER MAKES A BIG
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STINK AND DROPS A $100,000 WAD OF CASH ON THE COUNTER, THE BANKER MAY MAKE AN
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EXCEPTION TO THIS POLICY . . .
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THIS MONEY IS NOW SUBJECT TO AMERICAN TAX LAWS, AND YOUR NAME BETTER NOT
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BE ON THIS ACCOUNT. IF SOMEONE CAN'T GET THE BENEFIT OF THE SWISS SECRECY
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LAWS AND HAS TO SIGN THE WAIVER, THERE ARE ALTERNATIVES. EUROBONDS, FOR ONE.
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THESE ARARER SECURITIES, AND DON'T HAVE NAMES ON THEM. HE CAN SAFELY
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REDEEM AND SELL THESE EUROBONDS ALMOST ANYWHERE IN WESTERN EUROPE, AND THE IRS
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DOESN'T HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT THEM.
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BUT SUPPOSE THIS SCHMUCK DOESN'T WANT TO BLOW ALL HIS MONEY BUYING
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SOUVENIRS IN BULGARIA? A RISKIER BUT HANDIER METHOD IS TO OBTAIN A FALSE
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PASSPORT (USE A CERTIFIED COPY OF A BIRTH CERTIFICATE OF A DEAD INFANT WITH
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THE SAME PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES AS HIMSELF TO GET ONE). HE CAN OPEN THE SWEDISH
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ACCOUNT UNDER A PHONY NAME, AND THEN TRANSFER IT TO HIS LEGITIMATE AMERICAN
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ACCOUNT IN HIS REAL NAME. THEN HE CAN JUST TELL THE GOVERNMENT (IF THEY ASK)
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THAT A SWEDE SENT THE MONEY TO BE INVESTED IN A DINER OR SOMETHING.
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THE JIM AND TAMMY SCAM: INSTEAD OF OPENING A BUSINESS, A MIDWESTERN CON
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BECAME AN PREACHER (IRONIC, ISN'T IT?) AND STARTED A TRAVELING EVANGELICAL TENT
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SHOW. A MOB MESSENGER WOULD ARRIVE JUST IN TIME FOR THE PLATE PASSIN', AND
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DUMP A GOODLY CACHE OF CASH INTO IT. THE PREACHER ACCOUNTED FOR THE MONEY AS
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CONTRIBUTIONS AND SENT IT BACK TO THE MOB, MINUS A CERTAIN PERCENTAGE. THE
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PERCENTAGE WOULD THAN BE ACCOUNTED FOR AS OVERPAYMENTS FOR CHURCHES, SCHOOLS,
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WHATEVER.
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YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT ALL THESE METHODS ARE KNOWN BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO USED
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THEM WERE EVENTUALLY CAUGHT AND SERVED TIME. NOTHING IS FOOL-PROOF. IF YOU
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WANT TO MAKE EASY MONEY, GO TO THE BANK WITH A CHECK FOR, SAY, $200. WHEN THE
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PURDY LITTLE THANG BEHIND THE TELLER WINDOW ASKS YOU HOW YOU WANT IT, SAY, "I'D
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LIKE 1 $100, 2 $50'S, AND 5 $20'S". SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
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DOWNLOADED FROM P-80 SYSTEMS 304-744-2253
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