83 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
83 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
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_______________________________________
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| --| Mailing Without Stamps Part 1 |-- |
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| Hell, twenty-two cents is too much! |
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| _| Produced by: Riff Raff |_ |
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| | Acid Reign | |
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| | Used Against: U.S. Mail | |
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|_______________________________________|
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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A Short Introduction to the Free-Mailing Process
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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The other day, I had to write a few thousand "Thank You" letters, for
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all the gifts given me on my birthday to all of my zillion relatives. So,
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like any SMART person, I just ran these all off through AppleWorks, with a
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form letter. Not all that personal, but it's better than nothing, which is
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what they would have gotten had I not owned a computer. Yet, when I went to
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the post office to mail these letters, and noticed that every stamp carried a
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twenty-two cent price tag, I realized that mailing all these would cost more
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than I wished to spend. So, I began to discover new mailing methods...
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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Company and Corporation Cheats
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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The first thing I decided to do was to return home, disgusted with the
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national government. On my way inside, I stumbled across a flyer which I had
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received in the mail for a Laser 128 computer - it was labeled...
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Bulk Rate
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U.S. Postage PAID
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Portland, OR
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Permit No. 1990
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Well, I thought, since they already PAID, they wouldn't be charged for
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my comparatively miniscule sum of lettering; it would seem useless for me to
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pay also; the post office received a rather large sum from the company to
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cover their postage rates, probably enough to pay for MY postage, too...
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So, I decided to let my fingers to the walking. I opened to the yellow
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pages, and scanned some buisnesses in my area, marking down the largest ones.
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I called up my "select" buisnesses, and asked for some further information on
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such things as their present sale, some of their policies, or anything that I
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could get in the mail. In a few weeks, I got 9 or 10 "Bulk Rate" letters, a
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proverbial nest of possibility! Next, I went down to a local store, which
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makes custom stamps, in your name, or saying whatever you would like. I
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talked to the employee, and told him what I wanted printed on my stamp. I
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ordered it to look as follows...
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__________________
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| BULK RATE |
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| U.S. Postage |
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| PAID |
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| Permit No. 100 |
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| Detroit, MI |
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|__________________|
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This sample was made from a "Car-rt Sort" pamphalet which announced a
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sale presently going on at Towne and Country Interiors. (I also found that
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"Non-Profit Org." stamps work just as well.) Then, I purchased an ink pad,
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and when the form stamp was finished, I was all set. I went through all my
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letters, put the ink stamp in the upper right corner, and dropped them in the
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mailbox right across the street from T&C Interiors. Everything worked just
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fine, the letters all reached their destinations intact, and I ended up with
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a $0.50 stamp which I can use over and over again...
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Have Phun...
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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- FreeMailing - is a TradeMark of DeadMan Operations and Activities, Inc.
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(K)opyWrong 1986 All Rights Phucked
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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