123 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
123 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
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- THE PYRO-MANIAC'S GUIDE TO FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT -
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- Volume I -
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- By all good anarchist's best friend, -
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- The Great White -
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- Courtesy of Cal Songsinger -
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- -
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-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _-
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Today boys and girls we will tell you all about having fun with a few simple
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items that you can buy easily or may even have in your home.
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Since most of you are simple-minded, uncoordinated morons, I will start you out
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slowly and simply (like you).
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Our first project is a sure fire way to be the life of the party. Real sure
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fire. This item is called a "Handy House Warmer." All you need are three
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items which can easily be obtained. The first item is a roll of electrical
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tape (starts easy). Second, a large can of Sterno, easily bought at any
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camping or hardware store. Third, an M-80 or other similar explosive
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plaything.
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Step one in the construction of our pyrotecnic wonder is to remove the top of
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the sterno and, using an ice pick or other sharp item, punch a hole in the top
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of the can. Step two is placing the M-80 into the sterno gel. Make sure it is
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well covered by the gel. Step three is to replace the cap, making sure to
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thread the M-80 fuse through the hole in the cap. After securing the lid
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tightly on the can, you can start the final phase to fun. The last step is
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simply to wind tape tightly around the entire can, making sure to cover it
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completely with at least three layers of tape but not more than six layers.
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Now, as you can tell, when you go to use our incendiary toy to cheaply and
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efficiently heat any home in your neighborhood, all you have to do is light the
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fuse and run. The other advantages of this are that Sterno sticks to almost
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anything and is very difficult to put out, needing to be completely smothered,
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and that Sterno is highly prone to reignition (very similar to napalm). This
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type of firecracker is handy in small areas such as inside cars, small rooms,
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phone booths, rectums, etc...
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Now, I am not advocating the use of this item for anything but your own
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personal fireworks displays and enjoyment, but where and what you call
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enjoyment I won't judge.
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Well, boys and girls, that's all for today. Hope you enjoyed our time together
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and remember my motto: DEATH IS JUST A STATE OF MIND.
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T. T. F. N. from G. W.
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(>View: pyro guide to entertainment 2
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_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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- -
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- THE PYRO-MANIAC'S GUIDE TO FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT -
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- Volume II -
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- -
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- By all good anarchist's best friend, -
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- The Great White -
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- -
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- Courtesy of Cal Songsinger -
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- -
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- Sherwood Forest Dark Castle -
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- 300/1200/10 meg 300/1200/10 meg -
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- (815) 436-5610 (815) 729-0188 -
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-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _-
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Today, boys and girls, it's time to learn the basics of recreational chemistry.
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The following recipies are the easiest and most common of ingredients of many
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earth-shaking items.
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Our first item on the menu was first discovered by the Chinese (those yellow
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buggers know how to party!) about...oh, too fuckin' many years ago to even care
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about anymore. BLACK POWDER was not a reason for riots in the 60's, but was
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probably used in a few. This compound is so very easy to make, that you morons
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might be able to make it without screwing up. The three ingredients needed are
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finely ground charcoal, sulpher, and potassium nitrate (salt peter). Mix one
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part sulpher, two parts charcoal, and three parts potassium nitrate and you
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have your finished product.
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A variation of the above compound which is more powerful and fun can be made by
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mixing liquid nitric or sulphuric acid into the powder 'till all the powder is
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wet and has the consistency of paste. Spread this paste thinly on paper, let
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is dry, then grind it into a fine powder. These two compounds will be used in
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many ways which will be discussed in future volumes.
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Our second item is commonly used in place of black powder, is less powerful,
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and is easier to make. To make GUN COTTON, simply soak regular cotton in
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sulpheric acid and let dry. This is probably the most under-rated explosive
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around because if not used correctly, it has only a limited effect. If used
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right, however, it can be devastating. This compound will also be called upon
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to be used in future volumes.
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Now boys and girls, because you've been so good (or bad), I am going to give
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you a bonus assignment today. This compound doesn't go bang, but can be much
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more fun to use. First, find an empty tuna can (the top must be cut off,
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forming a small container). Put one-half cup of sugar and one-half cup
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potassium nitrate in the can and place it on a stove burner at very low heat.
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Stir the ingredients until they are melted completely. While still in liquid
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form, place several matchheads or a quality fuse in the mixtrure. After it
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cools, light this and it makes for a terrific amount of smoke which is
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basically harmless.
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For a more fun version, mix one-half cup powdered chlorine bleach in right
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after removing the compound from the heat. Mix it well then add the matches or
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fuse. This, of course, will make a crude form of chlorine gas which will
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temporarily blind those exposed and make breathing painful with the side
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effects lasting sometimes a week or more. Remember kiddies, to wear your
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running shoes, because these two smokebombs burn and spread fast (3-6 seconds).
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These simple items were made especially for you, boys and girls, so use them
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for fun and gags whenever you get the chance. Remember my motto: HIT 'EM
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HIGH, HIT 'EM LOW, HIT 'EM WHERE IT JUST WON'T SHOW.
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Till next time...
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Great White
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