158 lines
8.1 KiB
Plaintext
158 lines
8.1 KiB
Plaintext
A friend who lived in Durham sent a postcard to his girlfriend in
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Milwaukee that said "Here is a check for the twenty dollars I owe
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you." and had a blank spot and a piece of tape on it.
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In my younger days, while employed at a warehouse, I was the butt of
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the usual practical jokes directed at newcomers. (Fetch me a
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light-bulb repair kit, son, etc.) As days passed, I noticed that one
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of my antagonists was actually afraid of his terminal. This was at
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the time when the press was full of accounts of the dangers of X-rays
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from color TV's, and this guy was deathly afraid of the noise made by
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the high-voltage section of the CRT as it warmed up. Each morning he
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sat in his swivel chair, coffee in his left hand, and with the chair
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as far as possible away from the terminal, used his right hand to
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quickly flick the ON switch, and then jerked it away from THE CERTAIN
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DEATH THAT AWAITED. After the racket settled down, he would wheel up
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to the terminal and commence operations.
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This situation was too good for yours truly to pass up. I went
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upstairs and pulled out a stock item, a stadium buzzer, used by high
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schools on the football fields to announce the end of a quarter. I
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came in early the next morning and installed it in one of his file
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boxes, near the terminal. I ran the wires out to the next office via
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a pass-thru, and alerted all of the staff (but him) of what was about
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to transpire.
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He entered the room, coffee in hand, and sat in his chair. All others
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were heads-down in work. He adjusted his chair to the proper
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distance, reached way out for the switch, and as soon as he pulled, I
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plugged in the cord. As the buzzer sounded, he assumed the facial
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expressions of one who has seen death reaching it's skeltal fingers
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to snatch him from the land of the living. Coffee flew to the
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ceiling, and for a few brief seconds before hitting the opposite
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wall, a new world land speed record for backward swivel-chair
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operation was established!
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Get a piece of plastic as long as the victims bed and a little over
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twice as wide. Remove his mattress from his bed frame and line the
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frame with the plastic. Tape the plastic to the bed if necessary.
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Fill with water (a hose connected to the tub is helpful). Fold the
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rest of the plastic over the water, and make the bed. (Done to my
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roommate by mutual friend.)
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I start to laugh when ever I think about this one... A friend who
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works at a company I will all Inhel for lack of a better name, loves
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to tell this story about "Ralph" (names changed to protect the
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guilty).
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Being in the electronics industry, TAK-PAK is very common (for you
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S/W types, tak-pak is thick super glue that comes with a bottle of
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'accelerator' that makes it stick VERY fast). It was decided to wait
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until Ralph was far enough away that it would be a long run to phone,
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but he would make it if he was quick. The 'handle' was then
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tak-pak'ed to the little white buttons on top of the phone. The call
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was placed. Ralph goes running down the hall full steam ahead, leaps
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for the phone, and snatched it off the desk! The hole thing. Now, he
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has to try to answer the thing only he can't. And if he sets it down
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it hangs up!
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An OSU Architecture prof (I'll call him Dr. Jones) had a habit of
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telling his students to "Go take a flying leap" when they gave dumb
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answers. One student decided to take the prof to task; the class was
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taught in a second floor room so the student practiced jumping out
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the window (with the help of an assistant who would catch his arms as
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he jumped). The two got this down to an art, and one day provoked the
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"flying leap" comment from Dr. Jones. The student said, "Okay, if you
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say so," turned around, and leapt out the window. His partner (who
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was supposed to grab him but say, "oh God, I missed him !") *did*
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miss, and the jumper fell and broke his ankle.
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No, this is not a cut on stupid practical jokes. The humor follows:
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As a result of this episode, the department chairman had to file an
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accident report. One line of the form requires the DC to outline
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"What actions will be taken to prevent future recurrences of this
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accident ?"
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The Department Chief answered, "In the future, all of Dr. Jones's
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courses will be taught in the basement."
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Carefully pick up sleeping target's bed and set it on four coke
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bottles. When target rolls over or makes any significant move bed
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will crash 6 inches to the floor and there will be bottles rolling
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all over the place but not a soul in sight.
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This was done to me when I was in college and living in a fraternity
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house; Take someone's door and hide it for a while. You would really
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be surprised how often you want to close the dang thing and it's not
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there to do it!
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Back in my graduate days, I used to bring my lunch to school which
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consisted of a sandwich and usually a hard boiled egg. I kept a small
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jar of salt in my desk for the eggs. One day I dipped my egg in the
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salt only to discover it was sugar. It was easy to spot the
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prankster(s); everyone in the room was snickering!
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Preface: The person that this is played on must be someone who
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really deserves it because it takes several people to pull off. He
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must also live on the first floor of his dorm. It must also occur in
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the winter in a suitably cold and barren area like Dartmouth.
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PHASE 1:
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We did this trick to someone we found very difficult to live with.
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When the victim was away from his room we began to pile up a large
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amount of snow outside of his window. The conditions were perfect.
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His window was divided into two sections. One didn't open, the other
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(in theory) swung outward like a door. The snow was wet and packed
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heavily and easily. (On colder days a hose may be used to harden the
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snow.) We built a huge pile of snow which reached six or eight feet
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back from the part of his window that swung. We then, as a
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demoralizing factor, put a cosmetic layer of snow which completely
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covered the section which didn't open.
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When we had finished the outside work we went into his room and
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closed his shade and curtain so that he would not notice what we had
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done until it was too late.
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PHASE 2:
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We then waited for him to come home. Luckily his room was on a side
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of the dorm away from the entrance so that our work wasn't visible
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from the approach. He arrived and entered his room. We listened
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outside his door until we heard his shade go up and a sudden "What
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the F--K?" as only pure, white snow was visible through the window.
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At this point we wedged a paperback book between his door and the
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frame. (Similar to using pennies, but more effective.)
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We then sat back and listened as he started towards the door.
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"Allright, who put all the snow outside my...what the F--K? OPEN THIS
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DOOR!"
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The show got more exciting as he, thinking that he could still just
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go out the window, walked over, opened his curtain, tried to open the
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window, and became aware of the magnitude of the problem facing him.
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He had no phone, and so could not call the campus police to come help
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him. His neighbors would not heed his cries, because most of them had
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assisted us with the trick.
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We eventually released him, but only after he had come to the
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realization that he needed to be more considerate of those living
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around him, or else face living out the rest of a prematurely
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shortened life in a small, snow covered dorm room.
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699
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The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK
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The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674
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Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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