60 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
60 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
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HOW TO PASS A LIE DETECTOR TEST
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When someone hooks you up to a lie detector, they are measuring your physical
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responses to psychological stimuli. It's something like watching you to see if
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you blush. There are four levels they can measure.
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1. Your response when you are just sitting there, not being asked anything.
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2. Your response when you are asked a question you would have no reason to lie
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about. "What is your name?"
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3. Your response when asked a question they consider personal or
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embarassing to most people. "Have you ever wondered what it would be like
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to have sex with your mother?" I think only the government would have
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enough nerve to actually do this.
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4. Your response to the questions they suspect you might lie about.
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What they are looking for is whether your #4 responses are closer to #2 or #3,
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and if the difference is significant with respect to #1.
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If your response level to #3 is much higher than any of the others, you are
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clearly telling the truth about #4.
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If your responses to #1, #2, and #4 are low, and #3 is high, they think you
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are telling the truth.
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If your responses to #1, #2, #3, and #4 are all the same, they think that
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you are either a psychopath or extremely well-adjusted and telling the
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truth.
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If your responses to #1 and #2 are low but #3 and #4 are high, they think
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you are lying.
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If your responses to #2, #3, and #4 are high, they think you are very
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nervous and they call the result "inconclusive."
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This last result is easiest for normal people to fake. Just think about
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something embarrasing every time they ask you a question. Don't relax,
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except between questions.
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A more risky alternative would be to try to relax during the questions
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you're going to lie about, but not during the "embarrasing" questions. If
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successful, this would produce the "normal truth" result they like the best.
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If it failed, it would give the "lie" result.
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If you take some sort of tranquilizer beforehand, you may be able to relax
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enough to get the "psychopath" response. It will probably not get you hired,
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though.
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One practice method would be to hook yourself up to an ohmmeter. One wire
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wrapped around your left index finger, the other wrapped around your right.
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If the reading drops from (say) 100 K-Ohms to a third of that, you just
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"lied." Wear this into a police station, or a courtroom, or to your fathers
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house, and practice lying. See how you do.
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Disclaimer: I have never actually taken a lie detector test. I learned this
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from books and Psych courses.
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