463 lines
27 KiB
Plaintext
463 lines
27 KiB
Plaintext
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Fun With Water vol. 1.0
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authored by J.U.Tyler
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18 JUNE 1995
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As everyone knows, water is one of the most abundant compounds on the
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planet. One molecule of it is composed of 2 hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen
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atom. It covers 70% of the Earth's surface. One liter of water masses one
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kilogram (or 2.2 pounds). It has a neutral Ph, and is therefore good for
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diluting things. It's freezing point is 32 deg F or 0 deg C, and it's boiling
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point is 212 deg F or 100 Deg C. Life on Earth would be nigh impossible
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without it. Stupid yuppies (and other people) pay large sums of good money
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for ridiculous small portions of supposedly "pure" water. However, most
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people view water as boring, which is sad, because it has many interesting
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applications; which the creative or mis-guided person can do much with.
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WARNING: SOME OF THIS STUFF IS NOT NICE, DANGEROUS, AND POSSIBLY
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ILLEGAL. THE FOLLOWING TEXT IS FOR INFORMATIVE PURPOSES ONLY, AND
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SHOULD NOT BE ATTEMPTED. THE AUTHOR TAKES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE
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OUTCOME OF ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BY THE READER.
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(Doesn't that stuff look silly? It's just _water_ after all.)
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Its difficult to decide where to start. I think I will start with the
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applications of water in the form of projectiles.
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Everyone is familiar with the famous "super soaker" (TM) water guns.
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These can be modified or used as they are issued; with various unpleasant
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results. One modification is of the "XP-75" model soaker. The bright orange
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nozzle can be unscrewed to reveal a hole with a bore size of approximately
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1/2 inch. If the trigger is depressed with no nozzle, the entire contents of
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the resivoir can be fired in under 2 seconds, with noticeable recoil, and
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moderate discomfort on the part of the target. Instead of filling with water
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you could pump it up with air only, and place some sort of projectile in the
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hole (it would need to fit fairly tightly) and use the air to project it,
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however this will require a lot of pumping, and the results will vary. I
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suggest using a gun designed for using compressed gas to fire projectiles
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(I.E. paintball or pellet/BB).
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Of course, what fun would it be if we only loaded plain water into
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our supersoakers? As I mentioned before, water can dilute and dissolve
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things. One can mix water with bleach, ammonia, cholrine, Nair(TM) brand
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chemical hair remover, sugar, baking soda, alka-seltzer(TM), food or laundry
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coloring and dyes, or any number if other substances, with varying unpleasant
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results. WARNING: mixing ammonia with bleach or chlorine can cause VERY
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unpleasant results (the formation of chlorine gas, a yellowish heavy gas that
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is corrosive and poisonous. More on that later. If this forms in your soaker
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in small quantities, you can use it as a gas projection device, but you will
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want a gasmask. If this forms in large quantities, your gun could explode,
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killing or injuring you, and possibly causing blindness and severe lung
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damage). Being hit with these loads can be quite unpleasant. Bleach can
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damage the target's clothing, and eyes. Nair will have obvious results.
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Ammonia and Chlorine are quite unpleasant, and can cause chemical burns,
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though this is unlikely with the concentrations found in household items,
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though eye and mucous tissue damage can occur. Any mixture containing both
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an acid and a base will yield large amounts of gas, and some heat. If you
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do it right, the lazy person need not pump up the gun. If you do it wrong,
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and use too much... BOOM! It blows up in your face. Of course it might just
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over-power the valve and start spraying uncontrollably until the pressure is
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released. The lazy person may wish to use seltzer water; to fire, first give
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the gun a few good shakes. You can also use soda with sugar in it, see the
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section on annoyance. Whenever non-water contents are used, the wise person
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will clean the gun out with water soon afterwards. Do this throughly, as you
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don't want any gunk to form in there and jam it up. This will also help
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avoid the nasty results of a chemical reaction that you didn't mean to occur.
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It's not water but since it goes in the water gun, I will include it.
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Your soaker can be loaded with flammable liquids. You will want to affix a
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small piece of something that is slow burning to the muzzle of your soaker.
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As the gun is made from plastic, secure the burning material a few inches away
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from the muzzle, perhaps on a piece of coathanger wire. If the flame jet
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forms too close to the soaker, it will melt the muzzle, making your soaker
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useless. It also could have a flameback, and explode the resivoir. Make
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sure to fire your flamethrower in short bursts, do NOT fire continuously.
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And be careful not to burn yourself on the ingiter you made.
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Earlier I mentioned the soaker xp75 model. Be extremely careful with
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it. I believe this model may have been discontinued; because it has a design
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flaw. The "quick release" system has just two tiny plastic tabs which hold
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the bottle in place. If this is subjected to shock, such as being dropped
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or hit, it can come loose, whereupon the "emergency pressure release valve"
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kicks in. The bottle becomes lodged in a sideways position, and its contents
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begin to spray out of a hole on the side of the gun. If met with sufficient
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shock, the tabs can break, causing an effect like a water bottle rocket
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(more later). I do not need to describe the undesirable effects on the
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operator of the weapon if the gun had been filled with an unpleasant
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substance.
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As you recall, I mentioned that water freezes at 32 deg F. This can
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be useful for making water into projectiles. If you have a paintball gun
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you know that they can send a small object going at very high speeds. The
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standard paintball has a diameter of .68 inches. If you take the trouble to
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make a special ice cube(really cylender) maker, you can make ice bullets to
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load in your splattermatic 1000. They are not compatible with the loading
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mechanism however, so you will have to muzzle load. You may with to employ a
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long piece of wooden dowel to push the bullets down the barrel. If the fit
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it too tight however, it means the mold is the wrong size. You can also use
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ice in a slingshot. The best thing about ice bullets is that they leave
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behind no evidence! They will melt, then evaporate without a trace. (Or
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with a trace, if that is desired, see the next section)
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Now I will deal with the way water can be used to get back at someone,
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perhaps that annyoing neighbor who is always having a big backyard party,
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with a Bar-B-Que or swimming pool or both or whatever, making noise and
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playing the stereo too loud and not even inviting you, his friendly anarchist
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neighbor.
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Pool party huh? There are numerous ways to screw that up. One of my
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favorites is to take a couple big boxes of arm & hammer (TM) baking soda and
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loft em over the fence and into the pool (while people are in there or not)
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chlorine, used to prevent yucky stuff from growing in the pool is an acid.
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Thus, the water in the pool is acidic. The baking soda reacts rather
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violently with it, producing lots of bubbles, which is really a minor
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annoyance, but it looks cool. Of course, if you use enough, the pool looks
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like a giant beer, and a cloud of carbon dioxide will form, which is
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unpleasant to breathe. If you do this way ahead of time, and use enough
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baking soda, and the neighbor doesn't take real good care of the pool, you can
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neutralize all the chlorine, and nasty muck will start growing in it. On the
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opposite end of the spectrum, you can go to a pool supply or hardware store,
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and get pool chlorine. You might even be able to get it from your neighbor,
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for free, if the idiot leaves the container lying around. When nobody's
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looking, add a healthy amount to the pool. When people go it there, they will
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be rather uncomfortable. Be careful not to add too much, as you could have
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their skin melting off their bones, though this would take a LOT of chlorine.
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Or, you could toss some ammonia in there, and make chlorine gas. Another nice
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thing is to go down to the candy store, and pick up a Baby Ruth (TM) bar.
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Remove the wrapper, and toss it (the bar) in. Looks just like a nice hunk o'
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shit, floating there. Or, if youre in a really foul mood, put on some gloves,
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and go scour the sidewalk for some doggy shit. Then, wearing the gloves, loft
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the shit into the pool. Another thing you could do is to take a cherry bomb
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or two, extend the fuse a bit so you dont blow your hand off, and throw that
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into the pool. The shockwave travels thru water better than thru air, and
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will rebound off the sides. This will hurt plenty to the people in there.
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It will damage eardrums badly if they are submerged, and the shock could
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cause internal organ bruising and bleeding to occur. You can also use this
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technique to catch fish; you toss in some explosive, and dead fish float up.
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And it won't be a problem, since cherrybomb fuses don't go out even if ya
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flush 'em down the toilet (NOT YOUR OWN TOILET THO). If it's an aboveground
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pool, and you are in a really bad mood, take your spyderco knife or the big
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Ginsu knife that can pierce a quarter, and stab a nice hole right thru the
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pool wall. Blub Blub. Try to do it on the side closest to the house, cause
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you might flood his basement too. If you don't mind the legal problems, get
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a long extention cord, plug it an and then plug a toaster into it, and then
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lob the toaster into the pool.<BZZAP>
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Now, on to the rest of the backyard party. Earlier I mentioned sugar
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to put in the watergun. Why? Mix up a nice batch of sugarwater. Filter it
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so as there are no loose particles of sugar that could jam the workings. Now
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spray it around the area. Especially on the chairs. You will want to do this
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before the party starts, like when you see signs of prepeartion. This will
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attract ants, bees, wasps etc. Not exactly the kind of things you want to
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have around your party. Is there a punchbowl? Mix up some saltwater and
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filter it. Spray it into the punch. It's important that you remain
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undetected when you do this (or any of this stuff for that matter). "want
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some punch?" "sure." "glug,glug..." <retch>. Do they have a bug zapper? Spray
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the saltwater solution on it. Be careful to use short bursts, and make sure
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that you are not grounded.(wear rubber shoes, make sure they are dry, and
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don't touch anything while firing). You could spray something flammable on
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the bug zapper, and when something gets zapped, ka-bloosh, the whole thing
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bursts into flames. If there are birds in a tree over the yard, open fire on
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them with your ice bullets, so dead birds fall on the party guests. Of course
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you could just fire on the guests directly too. For maximum effect, aim at
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the groin, stomach, buttocks(ass), or the small of the back.
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Now, some other things you could do to get back at that annoying
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asshole. Take your ice bullets, and a fresh bottle of C02. Load up, and
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start blasting. You can shoot thru windows, which will shatter them. If you
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hit something with the ice, chances are you will damage it. I hate those
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little fucking porcelean figures and collectors plates. Blast away, and break
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as much as you can. That stereo he always plays too loud? Hopefully the ice
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will punch thru the plastic and break that too. Set your paintball gun to
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the highest FPS it can do. If desired, you can mix things into the water
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before you freeze it. Mixing ammonia will give a foul smell as it melts.
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Bleach will damage cloth, and possibly wallpaper. Urine has obvious effects.
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Coloring will leave a stain. Of course, to leave no evidence at all, use
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clean water. Use your ice bullets to kill pidgeons, and leave em on his
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porch or in his mailbox, or on his car. While you're messing with his car,
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check to see it the fuel cap locks. If it doesn't, then you can have some
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more fun. Instead of the tired old "put sugar in the gastank" gag, why not
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top off his tank with some water? Gasoline is less dense than water, so it
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will float on top of the water you so thoughtfully added. Gas tanks use a
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device which floats on top of the fuel to get gas, so he won't notice
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anyhthing for a while, he'll just think that he has more fuel than he really
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does. He'll be driving along one day, and his engine will die. Maybe the
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fucker will be in a bad part of town when this happens. While we are on this
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subject, don't you hate it when a car rental place wants it back with a full
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tank of gas? Just top it off as you would your neighbor's car. Don't you
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hate it when in the winter your locks get iced? Well, why not ice your
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neighbor's locks on purpose? Just wait for the temperature outside to be
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below freezing, then take an eyedropper or syrenge filled with water, and
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squirt it in the lock. While your'e at it, get a nice bucket of water, and
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throw it on his front stairs and porch. It will freeze into a nice ice sheet.
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Here's a few miscellaneous other things.
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Next time you're in a restaurant, put a piece of ice on top the the salt
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shaker, or just pour some water right in. It will make all the salt clump
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together and become useless. Why not dump water into a mailbox, or the
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late nite video drop box at blockbuster video? Why not shoot people with
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your supersoaker in the winter? That's no fun(for them anyway). Just lookout
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that your water tank doesn't freeze, as water under pressure will freeze
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faster than usual. Alternatively, you could load very hot water. This sucks
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when you get hit with it in hot weather, and in cold weather, if you shoot
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cold objects with it, they may crack. Of course there's the classic gag where
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you put a bucket of water over a door. Got a building you don't like? Flush
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some cherry bombs down the toilets. Or activate the sprinkler system.
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Or both! Or, you can employ an effect on the plumbing known as "water hammer"
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Here's how to do it. Find a pushbutton type device. A water fountain will
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usually do nicely. Push the button slowly. At one position, it will vibrate
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violently, as water tries to get thru the valve at a rate that causes it to
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oscillate at a harmonic frequency. Keep this up for a while, you can probably
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break something with this vibration, either the valve, or possibly the pipe.
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Have fun!
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FREE PARKING
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To get free parking from a parking meter, and possibly free stuff from other
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things, do as follows. Take a piece of clay, and press a quarter flat into
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the surface several times so you have a bunch of indentations. Place the
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clay flat in the freezer, then fill the indentations with water. Once it is
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throughly frozen, take it, clay and all, out of the freezer and transfer to a
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cold insulated container. Use your ice quarters in machines. They will work
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in many mechanical-type machines. I haven't tried this with video games or
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soda machines, so I don't know what will happen with those. I suspect it will
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not work. Putting salt water(not ice) into electronic type machines will
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sometimes work, but with unpredictable results. It is difficult to avoid
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detection with the salt water thing, so do it in a secluded area.
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WATER BOTTLE ROCKET
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Just a little fun thing to do if you're bored, though it could be filled with
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the water mixes mentioned earlier, or could be used to deliver a small payload
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(say a cluster bomb of impact-fuzed M-80's, instructions for this can be found
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all over, probably on the site you got this file from)
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STEP 1 procure the following: 1-liter soda bottles, cork or rubber stopper
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which fits bottle moulth snugly, bicycle pump with needle for
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inflating footballs and basketballs,some card material, tape
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or glue
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STEP 2 poke the needle thru the center of the stopper.
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STEP 3 make rocket with fins, you can use 3 or 4 fins its up to you
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use tape or glue to secure parts
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DIAGRAM
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| PAYLOAD |
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| (OPTIONAL) |
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|_____________|
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/ \
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/ \
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/ \
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| BOTTLE |
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| LENGHTH NOT TO |
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| SCALE |
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/\ | /\
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/ \ | / \
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/ \ | / \
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/ \___ | ___/ \
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/ | | | \ <-------FINS (CARD)
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| |__|__|<--------- |--------BOTTLE OPENING
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|__________| | |__________|
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TO FIRE:
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Fill partway with water. Place cork tightly into base. Place on ground so
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it stands on the fins. Pump up until launch. Make several tests, as if the
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cork is too tight the bottle could rupture instead of the cork coming out.
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This is highly unlikely however. Experiment with different amounts of water
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to find the best range.
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ALTERNATE FIRING PROCEDURE:
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You can modidy your mortar launcher to fire these rockets. What's that? You
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don't HAVE a mortar launcher? Well, the plans are included in this file.
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To fire these from a tube, the fins have to be reduced in size, until the
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largest diameter of the fins is the same as the bottle. The mortar tube
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should be just a little larger than the rocket. You may wish to wet the
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inside of the tube to reduce friction. If the tube is too big, you can go
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ahead and use it anyway, but it will affect your aim. You can make
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sabots to hold the rocket in the tube, though it will take some effort. The
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easiest and probably cheapest solution is to get an extra tube that is the
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right size for the rocket. You may also wish to attach a drouge to the rocket
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to make sure it flies correctly since the fin area has been reduced by quite
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a lot. A drouge is a long streamer or cluster of streamers. Ribbons do
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quite nicely.
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WHY IT WORKS
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Water is not compressable, while air is. The pumping pressurizes the air,
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and eventually, the cork pops out. The air pushes the water out, which exerts
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a force back (for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction) and
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makes the rocket go.
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MORTAR LAUNCHER PLANS
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Here they are, the plans for a mortar launcher.
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STEP 1: procure the following: Long PVC tube, with inner diameter slightly
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larger than a typical water balloon.
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Long elastic strip (can be gotten from back of popular science
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magazine, sold as 'water baloon slingshot') or you can use surgical
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tubing(the really springy kind like is used in slingshots)
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aluminum or steel tube like the kind used for folding table legs and
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canes and walkers and such. electical conduit works too, but is
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difficult to drill
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Rubber caps for ends of tubes.
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Assorted nuts, bolts, screws, etc
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Particle board (assorted sizes)
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metal pipe wraps with screw type tightener
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Thompson's water seal (tm)
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Make sure to put a good coat of water seal on all the wood parts, so they
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don't get rotted. Also, when cutting PVC, wear a canister type respirator,
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as PVC dust can be bad for your lungs (carcinogenic). Also, some of the
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plastic is likely to burn a bit during the cutting, and the products of the
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combustion are toxic.
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STEP 2: MAKE BASEPLATE
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Cut a large rectangle of particle board. This will go flat on the ground.
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You may wish to put an anti-skid surface on the bottom. Cut two trapezoidal
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pieces as shown in diagram. Make sure to leave at LEAST one inch between
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the edge of the hole and the upper edge of the wood.
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drill hole 1/2 dia
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_______________________ ___
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/ __ \ | |
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/ / \ \ | |
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/ \__/ \ | |
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/ \ | |
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/ \ | |
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/_________________________________\ |___|
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side front
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assemble these, along with the baseplate as diagrammed
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_________________
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| | (top view)
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| __ __ |
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| | | | | | Make sure the space between the blocks
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| | | | | | is bigger than the pipe, but not much bigger.
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| | | | | | You will need to fasten the wood together.
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| | | | | | You can use wood screws thru the bottom, or
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| |__| |__| | you can use adheisive, if you can find one that
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| | is strong enough.
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|_________________|
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STEP 3 MAKE TUBE
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Take a long section of pvc and cut a slot out of it on each side
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______________________________________________________\/____________
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| _________________________________________________________ |
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| |_(SLOT)__________________________________________________| O |
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|____________________________________________________________________|
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The slot need not be too wide, about 1/2 inch is enough. the best way to
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make the slot is with a vertical milling machine, unfortunately, most of
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us don't have access to such machinery. The best you can hope for is to
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drill into it, then use a saw, or to drill lots and lots of holes, then file
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it out. This is very time consuming, so you may wish to just use rockets.
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If you are only going to use rockets, dont make the channels at all. Near
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the bottom, drill a 1/2 hole all the way thru. This will have a pin go thru
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it to attach it to the baseplate. at the \/ mark, drill thru vertically. This
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hole will hold the release pin, this is also unnecessary if you are launching
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rockets
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STEP 4 MAKE SLING
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If you are going to use elastic, then you need a sling. Make one as follows:
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_______ this part round
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/ \ <-------/
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____/ \____ the tabs stick out thru the slots, and the
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| | elastic attaches to them. This piece needs
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|____ ____| to be thick, so it doesn't rotate inside the
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\ / tube; make it about 6 inches thick. It also
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\_______/ needs a hole drilled thru it vertically,
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to hold the release pin.
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You will need to make this in 2 parts; a
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round part with a slot in it, and a bar which goes into the slot and sticks
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our of the sides to form the tabs. If it is all one piece, it will be
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impossible to insert into the pipe.
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STEP 5 MAKE FOREWARD ELASTIC HOLDER
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This is easy, take one of those metal pipe wraps with the screw you turn to
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tighten it, and clamp the elastic to the pipe near the front.
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STEP 6 MAKE BIPOD
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Fianlly, you need a bipod to hold up the front of the tube.
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___ ____
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| \ / | Make curved upper area same dia as pipe,
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| \____________/ | put an anti-skid surface on the face that
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| | touches the pipe. Drill 2 holes, about
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| | 1/4 inch each. This piece should be a few
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| O O | inches thick, enough for 2 pipe wraps to
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|__________________________| go around it. Drill a hole to take a 1/4
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inch bolt in each of 2 pipes, and put
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rubber caps on the ends of pipes that
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touch the ground.
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STEP 7 ASSEMBLY
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/\
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/ \ PIPE WRAPS
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\ // \
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///\// // \ (Elastic assembly omitted)
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// \//\// \
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// \/ \ \ TUBE
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// BLOCK \ \
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// \ \
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//LEGS \ \
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// \ \
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// \ ___\__
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// \/ O \
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// ___/________\___
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// |________________| BASE PLATE
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To aim, turn it in the direction of the target, and make a guess as to the
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elevation. Fire it. Make any necessary corrections and fire again.
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Helpful hint: Put the launcher in an obscured position (behind solid fence, on
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the roof of a flat-roofed building, in a room and fire out the window (not
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reccomended with the rocket launcher variant, you'll get your floor wet, tho
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you could put out a big tarp). This will help protect you from retaliation
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from the targets. Go to Toys R Us, and get some of those 2-way walkie talkies
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that use 9volt batteries. Work in a team, with one person or maybe even two
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servicing the weapon, and one person out acting as a foreward observer,
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calling the shots and corrections to the gunnery team. You could also use this
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device to launch rockets with engines, but you might melt the pipe.
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That's about all, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed
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writing it.
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Special Thanks go to Beakman's World, Saturday afternoons at 12:30 on CBS, my
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physics, chemistry, and mechanical engineering teachers in high school, to
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asian girls everywhere, to anarchists everywhere who inspired me to write
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this file, to the Constitution of the United States of America, to my parents;
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who encourage me to be creative >:) ,and to the big bang.
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(In no particular order)
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This was my first text file, and any comments, or further questions, I can
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use to make version 2.0, as well as other text files with informative
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information. Reach me with your questions and comments on Unforgiven BBS
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(718) 891-2816 Running Renegade. Mail privately, or put a message in the
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Ask O Rama message sub. Mention my name in your newuser thingie.
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