107 lines
6.2 KiB
Plaintext
107 lines
6.2 KiB
Plaintext
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* *
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* "Just do it" HOW TO FUCK UP WORK "Ask not what Anarchy *
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* -NIKE VOL I. can do for you, but *
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* what you can do for *
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* Typed by: PUBLIC ENEMY Anarchy" *
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* In Association with: THE ANARCHISTS ALLIANCE -Public Enemy *
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*-Mark B. you are a total dickhead! *
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************************************************************************
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RELEASED: July 8, 1989
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-Formated 80 Columns because I felt like it, dammit.
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NOTE: This file was written while I worked in a grocery store for some
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cheap bastard. Being fired was an honor, believe me. Anyway the
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Anarchy-related techniques in this article are tailor-made for a
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grocery store, however many of these techniques can be used or modified
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for use in other types of work. So just use your imagination. You'd
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be surprised at what can happen. Really.
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So you want to fuck up work, huh? Either you about to get fired, the
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manager's a dick, or you just hate the fucking place. Whatever your
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reason for fucking up work is, read on for some Anarchy info that will
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really send your workplace to hell and back! Anybody who has worked in
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a grocery store knows that there's a phone that you can make free calls
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to for deliveries, orders, etc. Some fun things to do with this is to
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go to the phone when nobody's looking, dial one of those sex numbers
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and put a pencil or some tape between the phone and the receiver so it
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dosen't hang up when you put the handpiece down. After a couple of
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hours the manager will pick it up and the company then owes about
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$500.00 in long distance charges. Another idea is to tape the phone to
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the loudspeaker in the store so that the listening part of the phone is
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taped to the speaker. Now dial the sex number and run. Soon the voice
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of the sex line will go all over the store! Other fun things to do
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with the phone is to make deliveries to people's houses, order pizzas,
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prank people, and send shit to the manager's house. If you really want
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to fuck them up prank 911, prank the operator, or call computer systems
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that trace. Probably the best way to fuck them up is to take apart the
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phone and cut the wire that makes the phone ring, so that it works but
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nobody will be able to make an incoming call. This could really send
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the store to hell because no deliveries will come. If you work in a
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grocery store, you know that there are refigerated aisles for ice cream
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and frozen shit. O.K. what you do is you get some Crisco baking oil
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and pour it along the aisles right in front of the refrigerated
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sections. Now when somebody leans over to get something they slip and
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fall in the refrigerator. Me and my buddy Frank did this once and some
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old lady was coming down the aisle. She reached over the side of the
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refrigerator and slipped and fell right in it! I couldn't stop laugh
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ing for a week. It took 2 managers to pull her out and she sued the
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place. It was great. Some good stuff to do is to take bottles of
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vinegar and barbecue sauce and drop them in the aisle and take off. You
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can smell that shit all over the store even after they clean it up! Go
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up to the deli and order about 3 pounds of fish. Just say it's for a
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customer. Now when nobody's looking stick it way up a cash register or
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far behind an aisle. In about 2 days the place will smell like
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somebody died. If your store has radiators or heat sources, take a
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carton of cream and open it up and put in the the radiator. It will
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smell like somebody shit and it will blow it all over the store! This
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is a great way of discourging customers! You can have lots of fun in
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the supply room of your store. Go back there at night and get a carton
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of eggs and throw them all over the stocked groceries. That's about a
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couple hundred dollars loss because they won't be able to clean off the
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eggs and they will have to trash the groceries. In the back of your
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store there is an electrical box that contains all of the fuses for the
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electricity. Put a C02 cartridge bomb or and M-80 and run. In about a
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minute the lights and power will all go off in t he store and then it's
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Anarchy Time! My friend did this once and when all of the lights were
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off he started yelling FIRE! It was total chaos! And all the meats
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and frozen shit melted! If you have a microwave in the break room, put
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a can of soup in and run. In about 8 minutes it will blow up the whole
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microwave and put shrapnel and soup all over the breakroom! Well it's
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about time to wrap up Volume I. of how to fuck up work. Use this file
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as a guidelines and incorporate your imagination into this shit. Great
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things happen when you put your mind to it. Do shit like call in bomb
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threats or say that you poisened an order of food (make sure you do it
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from a payphone) or if they stick you outside and you see one of those
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huge trucks about to back out, stick a cart behind it. Good luck and
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don't get caught!
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THE PROS
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I'd like to thank all of the workers who helped make my dreams come
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true. We fucked our grocery store to hell!
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Call these cool boards dude:
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THE HIDDEN STRONGHOLD: 1-201-226-0623
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DEMON ROACH UNDERGROUND: 1-806-794-4362 PW:THRASH NU:ASPHYXIA
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THE RED LIGHT BBS: 1-319-332-8268
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THE CONS
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Mark Bouffard you are a dick! Anybody out there that hates people who
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leach, steal, and fuck others over, prank this dick at 1-216-261-0788.
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If it is a long distance call, call still. Believe me it's worth the
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effort and I'll be eternally greatful to you for fucking this dick
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over!
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Typed by: PUBLIC ENEMY with the ANARCHISTS ALLIANCE
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-I am hereby not responsible for what you damage, rape, mutilate,
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deform, pillage, scalp, kill, crush, manhandle, dick or fuck over. But
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don't let that stop you!
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