149 lines
7.8 KiB
Plaintext
149 lines
7.8 KiB
Plaintext
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
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'` _-=Presenting=-_ '`
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'` -Drive-Thru Fun- '`
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'` '`
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'` '`
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'` Typed up for your enjoyment by The Kid '`
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'` '`
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'` Authors - The Kid and Lewd Po8 '`
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'` '`
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'`(c) 1992 The Kid '`
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`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
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The person who invented drive-thru's should be hung by his balls until he
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repents (Too merciful, take a meat hook to his pubic bone and hang him till he
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bleeds piss -Lewd Po8)... I'm sick of trying to order a burger and having the
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"teller" say `Do you want fries with your chicken taco?' They must train the
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fast food workers to be deaf... And you think that in the age of computers,
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they have speakers that work.. Instead you hear `Tha<cracklepopcracklefuzz>
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at the <crackleboompop>' Plus, they assume once people are done ordering that
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they must ask `anything else' because they just might want more... Soooo, this
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text file is designed for new ways of revenge upon the fools of fast food..
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Notice, I said `new' not shit like yelling into the speaker and changing your
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order every time they read back your order. As far as I know, I have not seen
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any of these things in another text file.
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Equipment Required- Generally, all you need is the right kind of drive thru,
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and that's the catch... There are many methods of drive-thrus, I think the
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one used mostly is an underground sensor, but they vary, I have seen electronic
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eye type sensors, and there are drive thru's where you hit a button. The kind
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you need is one in which the sensor consists of a rubber strip that lays across
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the path of the drive-thru.. I have seen these mostly at NEW Burger Kings, the
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older ones have underground sensors or something, but I suggest checking out
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fast food drive-thrus in your areas, and find one that's shadowy, convienent,
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and contains the necessary type of drive-thru....
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First of all, start with a few phantom orders. From the fast food tellers
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point of view, these are slightly annoying, but at two o clock in the morning
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and done a few thousand times they are going to get pissed off...
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How to do this:
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Okay. Take a look at that small rubber strip laying across the
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drive-thru (I'm trying to cut down. - Lewd Po8) . Impact senstive, just
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stepping on it will buzz the fast food teller... They will answer `Hello,
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may I help you please?' followed by a few hellos probably.. You will know
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when they `hang up' because the speaker will stop buzzing. When it does,
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step on the rubber strip again. Keep this up as long as you like..
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NOTE: There may be camera survallience of the drive-thru line, so dodge out
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of the way after you hit the strip. Soon , the fast food worker or management
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will come out. Hit them with a few ink-filled balloons.
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Next, move the rubber strip out of the way of the cars. This will result in
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pissed off customers not getting any service. Do this a little before lunch
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hour. Eventually someone will come out and stop your fun, if you are daring,
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hit em with the ink balloons in full daylite... For maximum effect, pay them a
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visit at two or four in the morning (Or if they arent 24 hours, even better,
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hit em when they're closed.), and cut the rubber strip off, leaving nothing to
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signal the teller. The drive-thru will closed for who knows how long, and the
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fast food place will lose 50 - 100 bucks or more... Remember, there is always
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the chance of a camera, or even some dewd out fer a walk who might happen to
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see ya.. You're going to want a ski mask, or pantyhose over your head or
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something.. Conceal any scars and tattoos.. Cut the strip quickly then get
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the hell out of there...
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So far, I've said a lot about a camera being able to screw you over cuz they
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see ya... To gain revenge, or just if you're feeling destructive or something,
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locate the camera and hit it with a sling shot (Or a BB gun) then leave, fast.
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They might not get it replaced for awhile, so you can followup and wreak havoc
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on the night after.. (Lewd Advice : If you can find a camera, and a certifiably
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insane or high like me, strip yourself and wear your underwear as a mask. Then
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either moon the camera, or violenly mastarbate till somebody tries to stop you
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-Lewd Poet)
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It's not new, but it's a classic and no good t-file on drive thrus would be
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without it.. Drive up, and ask for a pizza or lobster or something. Make sure
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you argue for at least twenty minutes, and make sure there's five people
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behind you. They cannot do anything to you.. Some twists on this : Pretend to
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be hard of hearing, when they read back your order say something like `Eh, I
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dont want any damn sardines! I want a burger and fries. Are you deaf, young
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man?'... Have a epilepsy attack or faint in your car when there are twenty
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people behind you..
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Misc. Ideas :
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Epoxy nails in the drive thru, put them at an angle so it will pop the
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tires...
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Drive up to the window without ordering.. Wait there like you're waiting for
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your order..
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Leave a roadkill on the drive-thru speaker or in the middle of the
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drive-thru..
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Lewd Po8's corner -
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Poetry Of The Month :
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To the tune of Nirvana's `Lounge Act' -
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`Jack Act'
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It's true, masturbation wasn't meant for two, but it's one of the things I do-
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Just watch attentively-a, I give you a command performance for free-a, cause-
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Chorus: I'VE GOT THESE HANDS YOU SEE AND THEY MAKE ME FEEL... AND I WANT IT
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MORE UNTIL MY FORESKIN STARTS TO PEEL, I MOLEST MYSELF, AND NO ONE ELSE, I GET
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RAW AND BLEED AND DEVELOP WELTS...
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Don't tell me my palms will sprout hair, I've already got hair there, I've
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got bruised genitilia, why woncha let me feel ya?
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Chorus
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Now, as I mash my little dicky, I get a self-inflicted hicky, with your hand
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that's hard to do, but I'll wash them when I'm through.
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Chorus
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TRUE! IT'S A HANDFUL OF FUN FOR ME! BEST OF ALL IT'S COMPLETELY FREE! YOU NEED
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NOT SPEND MONEY ON A WHORE -- JUST DROP YOUR PANTS AND CLOSE THE DOOR-
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Chorus
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Lewd Po8 Quote of The Month : Love is merely a veneral disease
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DISCLAIMER: I take no responsibilty for what Lewd Po8 says or does. He's the
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sick one, if you have a complaint, BITCH AT HIM! -The Kid
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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DISCLAIMER : Damage induced by this text-file is neither my responsibilty or
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fault.
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Support Freedom Of Information! Exercise your right to burn a flag today!
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(He meant burn a FAG -Lewd Po8)
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Later...
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699
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The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK
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The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674
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Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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