textfiles/anarchy/MISCHIEF/alarm.txt

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This file brought to you by MCMLXXXV!
612/729-1985 - 10 megs - 24 hours/day
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FUN WITH ALARMS
BY THE STAINLESS STEEL RAT
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A FACT I FORGOT TO MENTION IN MY PREVIOUS ALARM ARTICLES IS THAT ONE CAN ALSO
USE POLYURETHANE FOAM IN A CAN TO SILENCE HORNS AND BELLS. YOU CAN PURCHASE
THIS AT ANY HARDWARE STORE AS INSULATION. IT IS EASIER TO HANDLE AND DRIES
FASTER.
MANY PEOPLE THAT TRAVEL CARRY A POCKET ALARM WITH THEM. THIS ALARM IS A
SMALL DEVICE THAT IS HUNG AROUND THE DOOR KNOB, AND WHEN SOMEONE TOUCHES THE
KNOB HIS BODY CAPACITANCE SETS OFF THE ALARM. THESE NASTY NUISENCES CAN BE
FOUND BY WALKING DOWN THE HALLS OF A HOTEL AND TOUCHING ALL THE DOOR KNOBS VERY
QUICKLY. IF YOU HAPPEN TO CHANCE UPON ONE, ATTACH A 3' LENGTH OF WIRE OR OTHER
METAL OBJECT TO THE KNOB. THIS WILL CAUSE THE SLEEPING BUSINESS PIG INSIDE TO
THINK SOMEONE IS BREAKING IN AND CALL ROOM SERVICE FOR HELP. ALL SORTS OF FUN
AND GAMES WILL ENSUE.
SOME HIGH-SECURITY INSTALATIONS USE KEYPADS JUST LIKE TOUCH-TONE PADS (A
REGISTERED TRADE MARK OF BELL SYSTEMS) TO OPEN LOCKS OR DISARM ALARMS. MOST
USE THREE OR FOUR DIGITS. TO FIGURE OUT THE CODE, WIPE THE KEY- PAD FREE FROM
ALL FINGERPRINTS. AFTER IT HAD BEEN USED JUST APPLY FINGER PRINT DUST
ALL DIGITS WILL BE MARKED. NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FIGURE OUT THE ORDER.
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SOME FUN WITH A KEYPAD, TRY PRESSING THE * AND # AT THE
SAME TIME. MANY UNITS USE THIS AS A PANIC BUTTON. THIS WILL BRING THE OWNER
AND THE COPS RUNNING AND EVERYONE WILL HAVE A GOOD TIME. NEVER TRY TO REMOVE
THEM FROM THE WALL, AS THEY ALL HAVE TAMPER SWITCHES.
ON THE SUBJECT OF HOLDUPS, MOST PLACES INUCLUDING SUPER-MARKETS, LIQUOR
STORES, ETC.) HAVE WHAT IS KNOWN AS A MONEY CLIP. THESE LITTLE NASTIES ARE
PLACED AT THE BOTTOM OF A MONEY DRAWER AND WHEN THE LAST FEW BILLS ARE WITH-
DRAWN A SWITCH CLOSES AND SETS THE ALARM OFF. THAT'S WHY WHEN YOU MAKE YOUR
WITHDRAWL IT'S BEST TO HELP YOUR- SELF SO YOU CAN CHECK FOR THESE LITTLE
NASTIES. IF YOU FIND THEM, MERELY INSERT ONES UNDERNEATH THE PILE OF TWENTIES,
AND THEN PULL OUT THE TWEN- TIES, LEAVING THE ONE-DOLLAR BILL BEHIND TO PREVENT
THE CIRCUIT FROM CLOSING.
IF YOU SHOPLIFT AND SEE CAMERAS, LOOK AT THE BRAND. IF IT IS SURVEILLANCE
VIDEO SYSTEMS (SVS) YOU NEED NOT WORRY. THESE CAMERAS LOOK REALISTIC TO THE
POINT OF PILOT LIGHTS, COAX, AND SCANNING. HOWEVER, THEY ARE ONLY EMPTY BOXES.
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