88 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
88 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
Operation: Fuckup by the Jolly Roger
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This is a guide for Anarchists and can be funny for non-believers and 12
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and 13 year old runts, and can be a lexicon of deadly knowledge for True
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Anarchists... Serious damage is intended to be dealt here. Do not try
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this stuff unless you want to do a lot of serious Anarchy.
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[Simulation]
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Asshole - 'Listen, you little teenager punk shit, shut the fuck up, or I'll
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knock you down!'
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Anarchist - 'O.K.....You can't say I didn't warn you. You don't know my
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rue power...' (soooo casually)
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Asshole - 'Well, er, what do you mean? Anarchist - '<demoniac grin>'
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As you can see, the Anarchist knows something that this asshole doesn't...
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[Operation Fuckup]
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Geta wheel barrel or two. Fill with gasoline. Get 16 rolls of toilet
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paper, unroll & drench in the gasoline. Rip to shreds in gasoline. Get
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asbestos gloves. Light a flare (to be punk), grab glob of
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saturated toilet paper (you can ignite the glob or not). Throw either
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flaming or dripping glob into:
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any window (picture is the best)
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front doors
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rough grain siding
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and best of all, brick walls.
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First of all, this bitch is near impossible to get off once dried, and
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is a terror to people inside when lit! After this... during the
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night, get a pickup truck, a few wheel-barrels, and a dozen friends with
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shovels. The pickup can be used only for transporting people
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and equipment, or doing that, and carting all the dirt. When it gets
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around 12:00 (after the loser goes beddie - bye), dig a gargantuan hole
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in his front yard until about 3:00. You can either assign three or four
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of your friends to cart the dirt ten miles away in the pickup-bed, or
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bury his front door in 15' of dirt! After that is done, get
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three or four buckets of tar, and coat his windows. You can make an
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added twist by igniting the tar when you are all done and ready to
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run! That is if the loser has a house. If he lives inside an apartment
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building, you must direct the attack more toward his car, and front door.
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I usually start out when he goes to work...I find out what his cheap car
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looks like, and memorize it for future abuse...It is always fun to paint
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his front door (apt.) hot pink with purple polka-dots, and off-neon
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colors in diagonal stripes. You can also pound a few hundred or so four
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inch nails into his front door (this looks like somebody really
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doesn't like you from the inside). Another great is to fill his keyhole
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with liquid steel so that after the bastard closes his door - the
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only way to get back in is to break it down. If you can spare it, leave
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him an axe - that is, implanted three inches into, and through the door!
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Now, this next one is difficult, but one of the best! Get a piece of wood
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siding that will more than cover his front door completely. Nail two by
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fours on the edges of the siding (all except the bottom) so you have
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a barge - like contraption. Make a hole at the top that will be large
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enough for a cement slide. Mix about six or seven LARGE bags of QUICK
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drying cement. Use the cement slide to fill the antichamber created by
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the 'barge' that is around his door. Use more two by fours to brace
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your little cement-filled barge, and let the little gem dry. When it is,
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remove the 'barge' so only a stone monolith remains that covers his door.
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Use any remaining cement to make a base around this so he can't just push
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it over. When I did this, he called the fire department, and they thought
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he meant wood, so they brought axes. I watched with a few dozen or so
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other tenants, and laughed my damn ass off! This is only his door! After
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he parks his car for the night, the fun really begins...I start out
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by opening up the car by jamming a very thin, but loack - inside and out!
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Then proceed to put orange-juice syrup all over the seats, so after he
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gets through all the other shit that you do, he will have the stickiest
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seats in the world. You can then get a few Sunday papers, and crack one of
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the windows about four inches. Lightly crumple the papers, and continue to
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completely fill the inside of his car with the newspapers. A copy of the
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Sunday New York Times will nicely fill a Volkeswagon! What is also quite
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amusing is to put his car on cinder blocks, slash his tires at the top, and
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fill them with cement! Leave the cinder blocks there so that, after he
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knocks the car off of them, he will get about 3 miles to the gallon with
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those tires, and do 0 to 60 in about two minutes! It is even more
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hilarious when he doesn't know why the hell why! Another is to open his
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hood, and then run a few wires from the sparkplugs to the METAL body.
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The sure is one HOT car when it is running! Now, I like to pour two pounds
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of sugar down his gas tank. If this doesn't blow every gasket in his
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engine it will do something called 'carmelizing his engine'. This is when
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the extreme heat turns the sugar to carmel, and you literally must
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completely take the engine out and apart, and clean each and every
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individual part!
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Well, if this asshole does not get the message, you had better start to
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get serious. If this guide was used properly & as it was intended (no,
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not as kindling for the fire), this asshole will either move far away,
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seek professional psychological help, commit suicide,
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or all of the above!
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--------------Jolly Roger
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