3266 lines
144 KiB
Plaintext
3266 lines
144 KiB
Plaintext
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####### ###\
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\# #\\\# #\ Edited by The Last Viking, viking97@bigfoot.com
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# #\ # #### ###### Email new schemes, ideas or bug-reports to me
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# #\ # #\\## ###\\##\
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# #\ # #\ ##\###\##\\ Revision 1.33, edited on an Amiga 600
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# #\ ###\ ##\ ###### © Copyright 1993-97 by Pål D. Ekran
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###\ \\\ \\ \\\\\\
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\\\ ##### ###\
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# #\ ##\### ## ###### ###### ###### ###### ## #### ##\\#####
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# #####\###\ ##\###\\##\# #\\## ###\\##\###\\##\####\##\ \\####\\\
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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-- DISCLAIMER AND COPYRIGHT NOTICE --
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I take no responsibility for actions performed as described in this text.
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Some of these schemes are illegal to perform and most of them will make your
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mark suffer in one way or another. I advice you to look at this script as a
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source of inspiration and amusement. Yet, if you do consider an action,
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consider also it's consequence, both for the mark and for you. I advise you
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to read the alt.revenge FAQ before you do anything you might regret.
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The Avenger's Handbook is copyrighted. This means that you may copy the
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whole document for personal purpose only. You can do this by sending the
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text to a printer, or by saving the file on your personal computer.
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You may not redistribute this document in any form without permission from
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the editor himself. This includes putting the document onto your own web
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page, posting it to an open newsgroup or mailing-list, or printing parts of
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it into any magazine, disc or paper.
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--
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-- How to get the latest edition of The Avenger's Handbook --
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The easiest and fastest way to get the' newest edition of The Avenger's
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Handbook [TAH] is to use your finger command.
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finger -l paalde@stud.cs.uit.no > TAH.doc &
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The '&' can be left out, as it just states that you want the command to be
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running as a background task.
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You can also find TAH and a variety of other similar texts on the WWW at The
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Avenger's Front Page [TAFP] - http://www.cs.uit.no/~paalde/Revenge/
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The text edition of TAH can be stored on your computer by using the 'save'
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option on your web-browser. If you fail to download TAH, just email me at
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viking97@bigfoot.com, and I will email a copy to you.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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SEARCH-KEYS
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Note: Not every entry is represented in the table below.
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Annoying: #005,#006,#014,#019,#025,#040,#047,#070,#075,#089,#090
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Cars: #009,#042,#052,#078,#098
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Computers: #012,#048,#065,#066,#067,#068,#077,#079,#095,#096
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Destructive: #007,#031,#053,#074,#076
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Embarrassing: #003,#005,#008,#018,#022,#048,#080,#087,#088,#092
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Employe[e]/r: #019,#032,#051,#061
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Financial: #002,#020,#027,#032
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Landlords: #016,#046
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Mail: #001,#002,#010,#044
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Psychological: #001,#004,#017
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Relationships: #048,#058,#063,#064,#099
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Roommates: #023,#038,#058,#059,#060
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Solutions: #035,#044,#093,#097
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THE BED, THE CAR, THE DOOR, THE GARDEN, THE MAIL, THE POOL
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THE ROOMMATE, THE SHOWER, THE TELEPHONE AND THE TOILET.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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#001 MAIL SERVICE. By The Last Viking, Dale Worley, Chuck and Batman.
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Get one of those commercial catalogues with dozens of rip-out order forms.
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Write down the name and address of the mark and send it in. Be careful about
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your handwriting.
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--
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Go to a library with many technical or trade publications. Pull out all the
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free reply cards, bingo cards, etc. Now ask for information on everything.
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With remarkably little work, you can collect hundreds of these cards. Fill
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in your mark's address and a bogus company name.
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--
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Send your mark empty envelopes. Do this over a period of at least 2-3 years.
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Let the empty envelopes arrive at his place from different locations, and
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with different handwriting. If the mark is a nervous wreck, then this can be
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what makes him really go over the edge.
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--
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Buy 100 envelopes. Send all envelopes to the mark. Don't use stamps on them,
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and put nothing in them, or photocopy something to put into them. Write the
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mark's name and address and put them in the mail. The mark will have to pay
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to get the junk mail. This scheme may not work in USA.
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--
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A bit of a different version of what is written above, is to send your mark
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letters saying things like "LIAR!", "THIEF!" or "WHORE!" Also give him the
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letters with the big font-types, when he doesn't see it. Like, slide it
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under his door, or put it into his bag at school.
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--
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Here's a little list of how to use our post-service for your vengeance:
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Send mail to his landlord. Where "he" writes that he'll be moving soon. The
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landlord will start looking for a new tenant when he get the letter.
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Send mail to the import duty Dept. from him. Let him ask for an import
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permit on about 2K of Heroin. For personal use only, of course.
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Send mail from him, to companies who are hiring people for higher level
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positions. Lie gruesomely about his qualifications, and make reference to
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people in high positions [I assume this is not only illegal in Norway.]
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Send mail from your mark to groups like NAMBLA, KKK, Jehova, etc, etc,.
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Where he is applying for a membership, or cussing them out.
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Send mail from your mark, to credit card companies. You will need his SS to
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do this. If you apply to them for a VISA or a Mastercard, then I am sure
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your mark is going to feel anxious when he get a reply in the post.
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Send a letter to the local police asking something like, "If I see a [use
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something very racial here] in the street. Is it okay if I beat him/her up?"
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I don't know what kind of a reaction he'll get on that one - but it won't do
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him any good.
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Send a letter to his boss. Use an anonymous fake name and claim that his
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employee [the mark] offered you a lousy service.
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--
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Find a name and prison address of an appropriate criminal [gang member or
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someone convicted of credit fraud.] Forward your mark's personal mail to
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this guy, your mark will still get the junk mail and others at his address
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will get their usual mail, so it will take time before he become aware of
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that something might be wrong.
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Wait a week then call his phone company and change his number to an unlisted
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one. This with all the other bills will get forwarded to the prison.
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#002 TAXES. By Hellraiser.
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As soon as the tax forms are released, get the 1040-EZ or 1040-A package.
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Assuming you also have the mark's name and address, armed with the SS you
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can really have some fun. Type the name, address, city, state, zip, SS and
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filing status normally. Prepare the rest of the return with anti-tax and
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anti-government statements typed in strategic places on the form. In other
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words use your own discretion. Prepare the official return envelope in the
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same manner.
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Ed> In other countries forms have different names, but we all knew that
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Ed> already.
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#003 ALARM CLOCK. By The Last Viking.
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Once there was a guy who left his sack unattended during the break at
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school. Well, the alarm-clock from hell was put into the back, in a location
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where he wouldn't look, just before a lecture. Gee, did he get the looks
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when it rang in the midst of the lecture [there was 150-200 people in the
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room.]
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#004 DEATH THREAT TERROR. By The Last Viking and Matthew "The Revenger."
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Get a newspaper. Cut out some death notices or articles about persons who
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have died [ie. killed] Send them to the person with a letter telling how fun
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it was to kill the person in the article. Try sending him a list with his
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name on, like a top 10 list with his name getting higher each time you send
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a new letter to him.
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--
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First you type a death threat that suits your purpose onto a piece of paper.
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Then, later that night, set off firecrackers on his lawn. The next day you
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can continue by writing a nice letter saying, "I'm serious, as you know. I'm
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sure you heard the GUN FIRE last night!" If it does not help, throw a rock
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through his window, and type another threat for it. Keep doing this process
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until he stops.
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Ed> For both tactics above it is vital that you leave absolutely NO trace
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Ed> leading back to you. Read the alt.revenge FAQ about safety.
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#005 ADVERTISEMENT. By The Last Viking, format c: and Lester R. Wolthers Jr.
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Advertise in a contact magazine. Let the note tell that your mark want
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contact with other persons for e.g. sexual purposes. Write that he is S/M,
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gay or something else that he is definitively not. Pay it with cash, or make
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them send the bill to your mark.
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Another good idea is to help your mark start a little business of his own.
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Just put in an article into the paper saying that he's selling private made
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porn movies for a good price. The advantage of using sex and porn in these
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advertisements is that it draws general and mostly unwanted attention.
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If your mark is running a business already, then you can always help him by
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putting an note in, where it says that he has cheap "whatever-he-sells" at a
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specific time. Just make his offer irresistible. Time can be of essence, put
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the note in at a time when everyone is looking to buy his product.
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--
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Place an ad in the paper for something that will get hundreds of calls.
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73 Porsche 911S needs work $500
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65 Cobra basket case $1200
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96 Corvette wrecked but rebuildable $1000
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85 Chevy Camero Z28 $500
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Guest cottage on 100 acre estate. Free rent in exchange for minor repairs.
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I had a Porsche listed in the paper for $500, and the phone rang every 5
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minutes during the evenings. I sold the car to the 1st person but since so
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many people were calling I figured I'd have some fun with them. My
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girlfriend answered once and with some coaching from me gave this story.
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"Uh, I think it's sold but the person hasn't paid me yet. It was my fathers
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car and it's been in the garage for the past few years. It's really dirty
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now but it used to look really nice because he always took care of it. It's
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a 914-6 I think, at least that's what it says on the back."
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She said the guy sounded really depressed by the time she was done.
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--
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Put an ad in the newspaper, write something like this:
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"Moving Sale - Saturday.
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Everything must go cars, furniture, etc.
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No reasonable offer refused.
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Starts early, continues through out the day.
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If no response at front door, knock on garage door loudly."
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Make sure you include the mark's name and address, and that you either pay
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cash or send it by mail as a money order.
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#006 THE PIZZA DELIVERY SERVICE. By The Last Viking.
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Call the local Pizza restaurant, or another restaurant that brings their
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food, then ask them to bring the food to your mark's place.
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You can also call the cops and say that that you heard shotgun fire, or that
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you heard someone fighting [domestic violence] in there.
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Chiver> The Police, and many take-out restaurants are using caller-ID, so it
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Chiver> is suggested that you call from a phone-box.
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#007 A DISC DRIVE KILLER. By The Last Viking, Emil Rakoczy and Turk.
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This is an amusing and destructive way of revenge. Just open the disc and
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replace the magnetic disc with some sand paper. Either mingle the disc with
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the mark's discs or just give it to him [post?] - telling that it contains
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new warez. When the mark put it into the drive, it will destroy the drive-
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head pretty fast.
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Straw> This will not work as the hub that the drive uses to spin the disk
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Straw> will be missing. A better idea is to hold the window open and glue
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Straw> several pieces of sandpaper to the disk surface. Then the disc will
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Straw> appear normal unless your mark hold the window open and spins the
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Straw> disk by hand.
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Ed> You can also glue sand or any gravel to the surface.
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--
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An easy way to destroy a disc, is to add a thin layer of butter to it, then
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sprinkle it with light iron filings.
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--
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Remove the sulphur tip from a few matches. Crush and grind it to powder, add
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a thin layer of glue to the disc, then spread the powder onto the glue.
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#008 THE GARDEN. By The Last Viking, whf2, Brian Martinez, The Novato Onramp
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tk421 and Brent Volden.
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Salt works great for killing lawns permanently. It was once tried and two
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weeks later the grass had died.
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--
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It was dark outside, and I wanted to get revenge on our bonehead neighbour,
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who was constantly complaining about the music we were playing. So, what I
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did was throwing out a whole bread [which was too dry to eat anyway] into
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his garden. Around 6 o'clock it was light enough outside for our lovely and
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not quite-so-quiet sea-gulls to see the bread, and gee did they have a
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party. I were staying up all night anyway, so it didn't bother me. If the
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sea-gulls doesn't make enough noise, try sprinkling the bread in a bit of
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alcohol [Just a little bit, you don't want them to hurt themselves.]
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--
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Get some seeds from some ugly weed and spread it all-over your mark's
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garden, or spread some lime into your mark's garden. The grass will then
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slowly die. If you're being artistic about it, try writing something
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insulting onto the lawn.
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--
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In high-school some friends of mine went up to one teacher's house with a
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can of diesel, and wrote the word "BITCH" on her gently upward-sloping front
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yard for all the people in her Ritzy suburb community to see. Of course,
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the diesel killed the grass, and you could see "BITCH" from the road for a
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good three months or so.
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--
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The opposite effect is to spread fertilizer onto the lawn. It will cause the
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grass to grow twice as fast on the places where you've spread it (You can
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write something on the lawn), and if you use enough, it'll cause the grass
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to change colour.
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--
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Buy a case of frosted flakes, then go to the mark's house late at night or
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before they wake up and spread them out neatly over their lawn. The mourning
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dew will melt the flakes slightly, then the sun comes out and bakes them
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into the biggest damned frosted flake in the world. After the ants come out
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it should get real entertaining.
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--
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I work for an aerial mapping company and have a bird's eye view of lawn
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mower graffiti. A client recently called to ask if we'd noticed someone had
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'written' "Bullshit" in the area to be photographed. We hadn't noticed it
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and couldn't really do anything about it anyway. This struck me as a good
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way to embarrass some engineers or office types looking over photos of the
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site of a, say, new shopping mall. A disgruntled employee could easily pay
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some kid to mow "IBM SUCKS!" in a field where no one could see it but from
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the air.
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#009 AUTOMATIC GARAGE DOORS. By Thomas Gauldin and The Last Viking.
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One of the tricks that works wonderfully involves houses with garage door
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openers. Sears and Chamberlain openers use DIP switches to set the code. The
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dips switches are on the back of the door openers and in plain sight.
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I once were in this mark's garage to deliver a piece of mail that was left
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in my mailbox and noticed the Chamberlain door opener and the DIP switches
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on the rear. I noted the settings down and bought a spare transmitter at
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Sears for about $12. All I had to do was set the DIP switches to the same
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code and then I could operate the door.
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The neighbour had very regular habits and left for work at roughly the same
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time every day. All I did was wait and watch as the door rolled up. When
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the backup lights of their Accura came on, I merely pressed the down button
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and the door closed on their trunk lid, broke the rear glass and dented the
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roof. The folks stood around for about a half hour scratching their butts
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and trying to figure out what happened. The garage door was totaled also.
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--
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Most garage door openers are controlled by an IR transmitter. So, what you
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need to do is go get one of those programmable IR transmitters, those with
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the learn function. Now you only need to get a hold of his open or close
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signal, which can be a real bitch to do, as the transmitter are usually
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located in his car. Yet, now you might know what lock-picking FAQ's are for.
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#010 MEMBERSHIP. By The Last Viking.
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This one will require that you know a bit about your mark. What you do is
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sign a membership for him in a club/organization/whatever, that is quite
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opposite or has opposite intentions of who he really is. Preferably
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something which he finds disgustful like if he is a heterosexual, then you
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can make him a member of a gay's club. If he's working in the US-government,
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sign him up with a Communist organization [Hell, that might even invoke an
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investigation]. If he is a racist, sign him up with an organization of the
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opposite colour. If he is a Satanist, sign him up with the Jehovah. If he's
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a fat TV-slob, sign him up with a football team [support member - I guess?]
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#011 LOCKERS. By The Last Viking and Mark Peters.
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I think that one of the most famous locker schemes came from George
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"Pinhead" Curtis - and a simple one it was too. Just put superglue [Krazy
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Glue] in the lock and it will become completely inaccessible for the owner.
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Of course this has later been sofisticated by methods like putting a tooth-
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pick into it, before and after adding the glue [breaking the tooth-pick
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off.]
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Other means of locker-revenge could be hanging up a nude poster on the front
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of the locker [works well in schools] - be creative, you can also put things
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like ads on it, or even neo-Nazi symbols.
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--
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How about squirting a whole can of whipped cream into the locker through
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the vent holes (no need to pick the lock). If this was done right before a
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weekend it would get quite sour by the next school day.
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#012 MS-DOS. By George 'Pinhead' Curtis, The Last Viking, Joker, Roger Sween
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and David K. Bryant.
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This one will kill your hard disc. Using the PC, on the hard drive write:
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C:\>debug
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- e 100
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b8 11 05 bb 10 01 b9 01 00 ba 80 00 cd 13 cd 20 <space between pairs>
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00 80 00 02 00 03 00 04 00 05 00 06 00 07 00 08
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00 09 00 0a 00 0b 00 0c 00 0d 00 0e 00 0f 00 10 <enter>
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- g
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C:\>
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Flags Track 0 bad - Upon the next boot the drive is shot.
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--
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To help the mark format the hard drive, put the line:
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ECHO Y|C:\DOS\FORMAT C: /Q
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In his AUTOEXEC.BAT file, or program it to be done if he presses a
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particular key.
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--
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When the mark is away; startup fdisk on his hard-disc, now select 3, for
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delete DOS partion. Now delete every partion. The computer will ask you to
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press CTRL-ALT-DEL, but just press CTRL-C. In a while the computer will
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crash and be totally fucked. All data will be erased.
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When your mark is gone, start up a loud noisy game on his computer. This can
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be done in the lunch break when nobody is around, now everyone returns and
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sees the screen of eg. your boss, and it has a game on it.
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Make a directory like ALT+255 (the extended Alt keyboard char. set) this
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will make a blank space. Now do an XCOPY C:\ C:\"ALT+255"/s/e. this will
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fill up his hard drive so he won't be able to save anything.
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This is good as long as the asshole doesn't know much about DOS or doesn't
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use anything like Norton.
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|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Find a gif/jpg viewer and a picture of a nude woman (or if you're going for
|
|
the grotesque, a nude woman and her horse) you'll find it all on the
|
|
Internet. When everyone is gone for lunch, start it up on his PC. Sure
|
|
that'll improve his reputation.
|
|
|
|
Alter his autoexec.bat file, put a game in the first line of it. Everytime
|
|
he boot the machine it will pop up on his screen. Add as the last line of
|
|
his autoexec.bat "echo Israel5 virus activated." then when you've saved the
|
|
autoexec.bat file, make it read and execute only. (Don't ask me how to do
|
|
it, I am an Amiga freak.. try attrib or something)
|
|
|
|
Remove the power-cables and put them into his drawer. What him running
|
|
around accusing everyone for stealing them. Another similar thing you could
|
|
do is just removing every cable, and let them lay there on his desk. Then
|
|
adjust the colour, contrast and saturation on his monitor. This will annoy
|
|
anyone in a suit.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
You can make the DOS text go black on black [as long as the ANSI.SYS file is
|
|
loaded in the CONFIG.SYS file] Just add the following line in the beginning
|
|
of your AUTOEXEC.BAT: prompt=$E[0;30;40m
|
|
|
|
#013 SMOKERS. By The Last Viking and Tom Line.
|
|
|
|
Carve off small pieces of rubber from an eraser. Remove some of the tobacco
|
|
from a cigarette. Put the rubber in as a substitute, then make it look real
|
|
by adding some tobacco on the tip. Rumors has it that it taste awful.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
For sloppy smokers who leave cigarette butts and ashes lying about, assist
|
|
their "beautification program" and import even more cigarette butts and
|
|
plant them places where they'll get the blame for them.
|
|
|
|
Epoxy cigarettes to the person's car, particularly on the windshield, side
|
|
windows, over the door locks, etc. Dump some in the air vents. If they don't
|
|
have a locking gas cap, dump some in their gas tank.
|
|
|
|
Hide or throw away the ashtrays.
|
|
|
|
Piss in their ashtray(s), then leave an anonymous note later "confessing" to
|
|
this. If the note is believable, the psychological effect should be
|
|
interesting. In fact, actually pissing in the ashtrays might not even be
|
|
necessary, if you can make them think you did it. Since a cigarette is a
|
|
phallic symbol, psychologically speaking, why not add some realism?
|
|
|
|
Decoupage (with epoxy, so they can't be easily removed) some "cute" messages
|
|
in the bottoms of ashtrays, such as: Smoking sucks, Suck that FAG off,
|
|
Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray, Smokers are buttheads, It's the
|
|
cigarette that SMOKES, the smoker just SUCKS or Wouldn't you really rather
|
|
be sucking on a COCK? (A picture of a PENIS from a homo porn magazine might
|
|
be interesting, too.)
|
|
|
|
From that same magazine you used above, after you cut out the picture of the
|
|
penis from the naked faggot, replace the penis in the picture with an actual
|
|
cigarette butt and post the picture on the person's cubicle or office door.
|
|
This works best if they get in late and you post it early. That way others
|
|
will have a chance to see it before the mark can remove it. Even if nobody
|
|
else sees it, the mark will WORRY about who saw it, and what they may have
|
|
thought about it!
|
|
|
|
Intercept a memo from the person, hopefully to a bigwig in your company,
|
|
open the mail pouch, add a cigarette butt or two, reseal it, and send it on
|
|
its way! The same goes for outgoing mail to important customers, etc.
|
|
|
|
Answer their phone for them whenever they're away from their desk and inform
|
|
the caller that they're on a "smoke break". If possible, change their voice
|
|
mail message to say this, too! Then if you disconnect the ringer, people
|
|
will think they spend their whole day in the smoking area rather than
|
|
working (as some do, of course) and complain to management about them.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
How about a cup of black powder or gun powder in their ash tray?
|
|
|
|
#014 NASTY SMELLS. By The Last Viking, Art, Steve Lopez, A.J.R. and Crystal
|
|
Willett.
|
|
|
|
I did this one when I was graduating from high-school. I and a friend of me
|
|
went over to this other high-school in the vicinity and brought with us some
|
|
real bad smelling marten-bait. There was a kind of war between us and them
|
|
and now we'd just had it. We opened the door and crushed the tube of marten
|
|
bait into the classroom sink. Then we left in a hurry (We got a day
|
|
expulsion from the school, due to our little stunt, but it was worth it).
|
|
|
|
You can spill this stinky thing almost every where, use your imagination.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Fox Urine. It smells pretty bad from what I hear. Why don't you just take a
|
|
bottle of the stuff and "spill" (totally by accident of course) some between
|
|
the top of the mark's car window and the door. Like I said, it was just an
|
|
"accident". Maybe you could do this right before the mark is due to go on a
|
|
date or to an important business meeting?
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
This also works rather well with skunk scent, readily obtained at your local
|
|
sporting goods/hunting outfitter (they use it to hunt coyotes) It comes in
|
|
about a 2Oz. bottle which is quite sufficient to put into a syringe and
|
|
inject through the window rubber. Be sure and get some down the defroster
|
|
vents, as you can replace carpet and upholstery, but the smell never comes
|
|
out of the vent system.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Buy some kind of hollow vegetable (bell or jalepeno work well), seal them in
|
|
a plastic bag and forget about them for a while, once they have turned slimy
|
|
and moldy, transfer them to a quart mason jar. Toss in some eggs, milk and
|
|
chopped liver until it is about 80% full. Put it in a warm dark place. About
|
|
every week, give it a shake. After 4-5 weeks, it will be mostly liquid, and
|
|
will look vile. Don't open the jar to smell it. Trust me; it smells much
|
|
worse than it looks. Toss the entire thing so it breaks open on your
|
|
neighbour's porch steps. If you are really adventuresome, climb onto his
|
|
roof and pour it down the chimney.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Call some chemical supply companies, say that you are training dogs for
|
|
search and rescue, and that you need some cadaverine. It is the scent of
|
|
dead human bodies, in a concentrated form.
|
|
|
|
I will say, that one could get a little syringe and put a few 2-3 cc's in
|
|
it, and shoot it into a mark's car through the tiniest crack (window cracked
|
|
open), and that smell will NEVER go away. The smell causes unreasonable fear
|
|
on an unconscious level. If he tried to sell his car, NO ONE would buy it.
|
|
It would be completely ruined. Probably would work with various different
|
|
places/things as well.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Once my ex's sister forgot a chicken that she'd put into the oven for
|
|
defrosting. One day flys started humming around her apartment all over the
|
|
place. Turned out that the chicken had started to decay, and with the
|
|
smell, and the infestation of maggots - it wasn't a pretty site.
|
|
|
|
#015 SHAVING FOAM. By Chris Cantarine.
|
|
|
|
Fill up a bag of shaving foam. Put the open end-part-way under someone's
|
|
door (make sure the bag is open). Jump on the closed end of the bag. Also,
|
|
put a dust-pan under his door. Piss (or pour a jar of something) in it.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Put about 4-5 boxes of shaving foam in a freezer. When the foam is frozen,
|
|
remove the surrounding can and put the foam in your mark's car.
|
|
|
|
#016 THE RACIST LANDLORD. By Pancho, DanD and Steven C. Schultz.
|
|
|
|
Complain to the KKK or Aryan nation about the landlords. They're renting to
|
|
all these goddamned (epithet)s in my neighbourhood. Or you heard them
|
|
talking about how Klansmen should be killed on sight. Be sure to give the
|
|
home address and license plate numbers of their cars.
|
|
|
|
Call all the utility companies, and have their bills diverted to "your"
|
|
house. They're going on a long vacation and you want to pay their bills
|
|
while they're gone. "Your" address is that of the Lost And Found at the
|
|
Macy's in the next town.
|
|
|
|
Sign them up with NAMBLA, the North American Man-Boy Love Association. This
|
|
is sure to bring attention from the cops to the landlord if NAMBLA is ever
|
|
raided by the cops in your town.
|
|
|
|
Call up the militant black groups of your choice. Tell them you're thinking
|
|
of joining. Invite some members to come over to talk to you. Give them the
|
|
landlord's address.
|
|
|
|
Make copies of the keys to their property which your friends rented, attach
|
|
them to labeled key rings. Write "DOCTOR Susanna Wong, Geriartrics" on the
|
|
labels, with the home address. Go to the worst part of town and "forget" the
|
|
key rings at the phone booths where gang members gather.
|
|
|
|
Call popular radio station talk shows. Start friendly, give out the
|
|
landlord's name while no-one suspects anything. Repeat it a couple of times.
|
|
Get the address in, if you can. Then accuse them of whatever you like. Slip
|
|
it in slowly, so that the accusation's out before they can think to use
|
|
their 7-second delay. You could accuse them of membership in NAMBLA. Lo and
|
|
behold, their name turns up in NAMBLA's records.
|
|
|
|
Write all their current tenants at all their properties, and even the
|
|
neighbours surrounding those properties. "Did you know that the sick
|
|
perverted landlord at this address has a porno flick business on the side?
|
|
Did you know he sets aside one of the apartments (or houses) for the filming
|
|
of these pictures? Do you want your kids exposed to these people in your
|
|
neighbourhood? NO FINGERPRINTS OR SALIVA ON YOUR LETTERS OR ENVELOPES, NOW!
|
|
|
|
Make up a letter or a poster accusing these landlords of being the most
|
|
active, violent, and effective Klansmen in your town. Print up a zillion of
|
|
these. Go to a predominantly black area of town and dump these flyers over
|
|
the fence of the local high-school. You can *also* dump them at the
|
|
projects. Include their home address, phone number, car description and
|
|
license plates.
|
|
|
|
If the police investigate, the junior high-school crime and the fact that
|
|
his name is on the poster will be public record. He will be interrogated.
|
|
It will not be slander to talk about it.
|
|
|
|
Make a tape of Vincent Price's laughter at the end of the Michael Jackson
|
|
song "Thriller". Tape it over and over so it's one minute of laughter.
|
|
After *each* of these incidents, call them up and play it. Real loud.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Even better: send notices to all the tenants that rent is going up. (or
|
|
down.) Make policy changes. Send some tenants notices they will be sued
|
|
if they don't pay their rent which is past due. (Nothing like threatening
|
|
people with legal action for something they did not do to get their blood
|
|
boiling.) Have a couple of cars towed, claiming to be the property manager.
|
|
(Most property managers who have cars towed post the phone number of
|
|
whatever towing service they use, so it's no problem.)
|
|
|
|
You get the idea. Terrorize the tenants and make them think that it's the
|
|
landlord who is doing it. They will react in all SORTS of ways. Legal,
|
|
physical, verbal, etc.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
You could place the add and give different rents, depending on the race of
|
|
the renter. A newspaper probably wouldn't print any add that is racially
|
|
oriented like this, so print up flyers and put them in stores, car
|
|
windshields, etc.
|
|
|
|
Or you could place an ad saying that the place has things that it doesn't,
|
|
such as swimming pool, glass porch in back, washing machine/dryer,
|
|
dishwasher, etc. Potential renter comes out and sees it doesn't have any of
|
|
this and he will be pissed.
|
|
|
|
#017 THE TELEPHONE. By Davis Sweeney, Robert Bissett, Mark Loop, Alan Young,
|
|
James Miles, Patrick Lynch, The Last Viking and
|
|
Jennifer Nadobny.
|
|
|
|
Ed> Before even considering using the telephone for revenge, you should
|
|
Ed> read the alt.revenge FAQ for safe usage.
|
|
|
|
Careful about this sort of tactic. Caller I.D. is becoming common for
|
|
State-to-State calling now. Also beware that the Annoyance Call Bureau can
|
|
act pretty quick if the situation warrants it. They can have a tap & trace
|
|
put on the phone you are calling in a matter days, and even HOURS if they
|
|
think the situation warrants it.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Here's an old standard that provided hours of enjoyment at my last job: when
|
|
the coworker (mark) of your choice goes for his/her tenth cup of coffee,
|
|
pick up his/her phone and tape down the little button that the receiver sits
|
|
on. (Pardon the technical jargon.) When your sucker gets back with the
|
|
coffee and yet another doughnut, give 'em a call. When they pick up the
|
|
phone, they won't hear anything and the phone will still ring. You'd be
|
|
amazed at how well this works.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
A lot simpler way to accomplish the same thing is with a small piece of
|
|
clear (Scotch) tape. Place it neatly over the hoes on the receiver. It will
|
|
totally block out all audible sound and, if done nicely, is not normally
|
|
detected by the dupe.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Dial your mark's number and let it ring once or twice. Then simply hang
|
|
up. Do this randomly day or night for increased effect.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Call your mark collect from a phone booth. Just tell the operator that
|
|
you're his father [use father's name] - If you call from a long distance,
|
|
then it is for the better. Use your own imagination when it comes to
|
|
hesitating in exposing that you're not his real father.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Call your mark in the middle of the night, and let the talk develop into
|
|
something like this:
|
|
|
|
You : "Hello, who is this?"
|
|
Mark: "Huh? What is this? Who are you?"
|
|
You : "Why did you call me at 3AM? Who is this?"
|
|
Mark: "What are you talking about? You called me?"
|
|
You : "RIIGHT? Very funny. Who is this?"
|
|
Mark: "I didn't call you. It was you who called me. Who is this?"
|
|
You : "Hey, I have work tomorrow. I need to sleep. Who is this? I will call
|
|
the police and the phone company about you. I have a caller ID"
|
|
[click]
|
|
|
|
Now this requires some good acting, and remember that things might turn out
|
|
slightly different, so don't use the text above as a script.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Call the mark in the middle of night - 5 AM is great. Ask him if he want to
|
|
buy an encyclopedias of your own choice. Just pretend to be a hyper active
|
|
telemarketeer who doesn't know there's such a thing as time-zones.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
I paged my mark and left another pager number. Then paged a few more people
|
|
and left his pager number. At the end, half of the office was paging each
|
|
other and my mark got yelled at.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Get your marks phone number and get a hold of a beeper exchange. Page 100's
|
|
of people to the marks house at 2am on a weeknight. They will never get to
|
|
sleep. This takes time, and be wary of call tracing. But, it's worth it when
|
|
you see the bags under thier eyes the next day at work.
|
|
|
|
Ed> Also see #98.
|
|
|
|
#018 A TROUBLESOME GIRL AT SCHOOL. By Cyberknight.
|
|
|
|
Have a friend go up to the girl and convince her to ask you how many push-
|
|
ups your sister/brother can do.
|
|
|
|
When she asks you, "Hey, how many push ups can your sister do?" You look as
|
|
angry and upset as you can. Don't worry about the rest of the class hearing.
|
|
The bigger the scene you make, the better it is. Your response would be,
|
|
"Who told you about this? You... How could you! You know my sister has no
|
|
arms! What kind of person are you!"
|
|
|
|
At this point you can either storm out of the room or put your head down in
|
|
your arms and laugh quietly and make them think you're crying.
|
|
|
|
#019 FAST FOOD WORKER. By Deacon.
|
|
|
|
Ed> The mark is a woman, working at a fastfood restaurant. Another thing,
|
|
Ed> don't be rude to innocent workers at fastfood joints, they have the
|
|
Ed> worst of jobs and they get the poorest pay.
|
|
|
|
When you know she will be working get some friends to come in. (About six)
|
|
Have two of your friends start to order something from you and then, when
|
|
you're busy helping them, have the other friends come up to the counter and
|
|
start to order food from the lady.
|
|
|
|
Have your friends be obnoxious and ask for little changes in their food.
|
|
Example.. "I'd like a soda with ten Ice cubes. A cheese-burger, without the
|
|
cheese, (No it's not a hamburger, it's a cheese burger with the cheese
|
|
removed after cooking. Tastes better) No pickles. I'd like a chocolate
|
|
shake... no umm, a vanilla shake... no... ummm damn I'll just have a small
|
|
coke, could we have this for here.
|
|
|
|
Oh sorry, I meant could we have it to go... Oh, extra salt and pepper and
|
|
ketchup in the bag could you possibly give me some.
|
|
|
|
You get the jist. A person was really pissing me off when I worked at a
|
|
different store and I had my friends do this. Not only did he screw up big
|
|
time and look like a klutz, he actually yelled at one of the people, who
|
|
then came back and complained to the manager with his friends, and the
|
|
manager bitched the guy out.
|
|
|
|
You should make sure you're serving your other two friends at the time, so
|
|
when she asks for help just say, "I'm sorry, but I've already got to take
|
|
care of these people."
|
|
|
|
#020 THE MARK'S CREDIT CARD. By The Last Viking and Skitzo.
|
|
|
|
With the mark's credit card you can order stuff (obviously). Yet, if you
|
|
want to order stuff for yourself, then I advice you to get a hold on some
|
|
info about carding. Usually carders use an unoccupied house to have the
|
|
ordered stuff dropped at, but there's many other things to consider as well.
|
|
|
|
Order stuff to his address if you have a secondary mark's credit info, or do
|
|
a swap. If you're lucky you could have the authorities running after them
|
|
both.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Get an AOL free trial kit and use his credit info. Use up all the time and
|
|
then some. Use all of the extra features. He'll get a bill in a month for
|
|
some good money.
|
|
|
|
Go to a pay-phone late at night were no one would hang it up, and call up an
|
|
900 psychic-line that charges like $5 a minute. Tell them that you have some
|
|
money to spend and for them to do all the talking. Tell them that you want
|
|
them to tell you everything they can just from being on the phone. Enter his
|
|
credit info and leave the phone off the hook all night.
|
|
|
|
Post his credit card info on the newsgroups like from the fake AOL account
|
|
that you got with his money. Send it to alt.2600 first. Then alt.hackers
|
|
His credit line would be down the tubes in no time with everyone using it.
|
|
|
|
Ed> Credit fraud is a serious crime, use your brain!
|
|
|
|
#021 THE BEE SWARM. By Dale Gee.
|
|
|
|
Order a swarm of bees from a bee keeping supply house, either have them
|
|
delivered to your mark or at your place. If you have them delivered to your
|
|
place, then you can put the whole stuff into your mark's car or though the
|
|
mark's window.
|
|
|
|
#022 POSTER REVENGE. By The Last Viking, Samuel Taradash and Steven C.
|
|
Schultz.
|
|
|
|
The idea of poster revenge is to hang up posters which will destroy the
|
|
reputation of your mark. Just design the poster on your computer, print it
|
|
out and make a lot of copies. Now run around in the night and hang up the
|
|
posters.
|
|
|
|
As for what to write on those posters, well, it all depends a lot on what
|
|
area the guy is living in, what he is doing and how you want to get to him.
|
|
If he is a principle or a teacher you could make a poster saying that he
|
|
abused you in some way. Make up a person, a secondary mark or simply go
|
|
anonymous. Hang the poster onto campus bulletin boards, etc,. If he is a
|
|
store owner, and you are living in e.g. US, you might write that he is a
|
|
fascist. Simply hang up a poster on his store, saying that coloured people
|
|
are not welcome, or maybe "Swedes are not welcome," would cause some havoc?
|
|
You could also just write that you bought one of his products, that it was
|
|
of bad quality and that when you complained, you didn't get the money back.
|
|
Be creative!
|
|
|
|
Now, you might think that the guy can just rip the poster down again. Well,
|
|
I was, back in my young days, an active environmentalist and our group
|
|
worked with some leftwingers. I remember one of them telling me how to set
|
|
up a poster real good. Simply break some glass in a bucket. Crush it good.
|
|
Add tapestry glue. The idea is to first glue some on the wall, hang up the
|
|
poster, then glue some over the poster. When someone try to rip it down they
|
|
will get some real bloody fingers. It has also been suggested that you add
|
|
dogshit to the mixture, that might help the mark getting a bit, uh, sick.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Because this guy who lived in my dorm had done a decent girl wrong by making
|
|
her think she was being stalked I figured a little turnabout was in order. I
|
|
made up a flyer that read in large letters "If you can talk dirtier than me,
|
|
I will pay you $25!" then in smaller text was a bit about "I am a psychology
|
|
major doing a study on verbal sexuality in relation to mental violence. All
|
|
callers will remain anonymous." And, of course, the Mark's phone number was
|
|
prominently displayed on the flyer. I made ten photocopies and stapled them
|
|
up on the kiosks on my campus that are usually full of notices about "Free
|
|
Financial aid" and "Help wanted at McBurger." Just to see what was going on,
|
|
I tried calling him later that evening and asking "Is this the place to call
|
|
to talk dirty?" The torrent of desperate obscenity he rattled back more than
|
|
answered my question.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Many states require convicted child molesters to notify neighbours of their
|
|
record. I'm sure you could use a laser printer to make a nice, official
|
|
looking letterhead that appears to come from your local police station and
|
|
"inform" all of his neighbours that he was recently convicted for sexually
|
|
abusing a young boy, and is undergoing treatment. If you got one of those
|
|
phone books indexed by addresses, you could get all of his neighbour's names
|
|
as well and address and send it to them personally, making it more
|
|
realistic. Just don't leave any fingerprints or saliva on the letter,
|
|
envelope or stamp.
|
|
|
|
There's a chance that some will be quick enough to realize that the letter
|
|
is forged, but some may be so mad that they won't care about the possibility
|
|
that it is true, especially those with young kids.
|
|
|
|
At the very least, he will be harassed by neighbours, and there have been
|
|
cases where the offender's house has been burned down. It will be almost
|
|
impossible to prove who did it, and it will only cost you a couple of hours
|
|
and a few stamps.
|
|
|
|
#023 THE BED. By The Last Viking, Kennan Ferguson, Marko Heiskanen and
|
|
Cyberknight.
|
|
|
|
First, take off the bottom sheet of his/her bed. Put a sheet of plastic
|
|
there; not so thick that it will rustle. Next, spread a thick layer of
|
|
powdered sugar over the plastic; replace the sheet and return bed to its
|
|
normal state. The beauty of this is the plastic that reflects body heat,
|
|
making the sleeping mark sweaty. As he/she sweats, the sugar seeps up
|
|
through the bed-sheet. Upon waking, the individual looks and feels like a
|
|
glazed doughnut.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Replace the sugar with milk powder to get extremely unbelievable results.
|
|
When the milk powder get into the spores, it stays there and turns sour.
|
|
Your mark will smell of sour milk for almost a week.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Just wait until your mark is away for a week or so, then sneak into his
|
|
bedroom and sow creed into his bed. It practically grows everywhere and only
|
|
needs a little water.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
This is simple. Un-tuck the bottom of the bed sheet. Take the bottom and
|
|
pull it about 1/3 of the way towards the head of the bed. Tuck it back in.
|
|
|
|
What's supposed to happen is the mark slides into the sheets like a
|
|
sausage into a pita pocket. Except that now, he doesn't have enough room
|
|
to stretch his legs out all the way!
|
|
|
|
Be warned, I've seen sheets ripped this way, but it's usually harmless.
|
|
|
|
#024 FELLOW EMPLOYEE. By David C. Hobbs and CyberKnight.
|
|
|
|
Leave love notes from the fellow employees to other employees (preferably
|
|
married people, and use gay situations) on the office copy machine, put
|
|
condoms in their mailbox, send flowers from one to the other, let it be
|
|
public.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
How about a creative gift basket delivered to him at work? A basket
|
|
containing fruit, a fern, some male homosexual magazines, a tube of K-Y
|
|
jelly, one of those condom "lollypops," a Michael Bolton tape, and a butt
|
|
plug with the words "I Love you" written on it.
|
|
|
|
#025 A CALCULATOR TRICK. By Jay C. Box.
|
|
|
|
This trick is not as easy to do as it once was, but either borrow or
|
|
appropriate their calculator the day or night before they have an exam and
|
|
open the case and carefully change the keytops around so that instead of:
|
|
|
|
7 8 9 1 2 3
|
|
4 5 6 you get instead: 4 5 6 like you see on telephones.
|
|
1 2 3 7 8 9
|
|
0 0
|
|
|
|
The idea is to be subtle so that they don't discover it early. You can
|
|
change the mathematical operators if you wish but I prefer less. Since the
|
|
keyboard layout looks natural, most will assume that their calculator died!
|
|
|
|
Unfortunately the calculator is not always constructed compatible with
|
|
this trick anymore.
|
|
|
|
Ed> This might also work on telephones and remote controls.
|
|
|
|
#026 ROAD KILL. By Wil Jamison.
|
|
|
|
Another thing you can do is: get a fresh intact roadkill. Tie a length of
|
|
rope securely around it. Tie the other end to your mark's axel. Place the
|
|
roadkill up on the axel so it balanced and out of sight. When your target
|
|
drives off eventually the roadkill will fall off and start bouncing behind
|
|
the car. Guaranteed to attract attention from other drivers, cops, etc.
|
|
|
|
#027 LOST KEYS. By Steve Davis.
|
|
|
|
Go to a few locksmiths and collect old dead keys, ones they have no use for.
|
|
Next buy the same number of key tags, the ones you write a name or whatever
|
|
on. Write the name of the target, their phone number and "$10 reward" on
|
|
each tag. Now drop a key in the post office, at the bank, in the street etc.
|
|
The more the merrier.
|
|
|
|
#028 THE DOOR. By Morpheus, Donald E Quigley, Toby Lane, Steven C.
|
|
Schultz, Cyberknight, Tim J. Lavoie and Emily Nevermind.
|
|
|
|
Scramble some eggs (as many as you need). Add some green food dye and a
|
|
little bit of garlic salt. Pour it all over his door/window/doormat. Do this
|
|
when you know he'll be gone for a while.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
You take a paper bag and fill it with, eh, animal defecation (that's dog
|
|
turd -just making sure), and close the top of it with staples. You then
|
|
soak it in gasoline and place it on the front stop of an annoying neighbour,
|
|
right under the door. Light the bag ablaze and ring the doorbell. RUN. If
|
|
all goes right, this is what should happen. The person comes to the door and
|
|
sees a small blazing bag on his stoop. What does he do? You guessed it. He
|
|
stomps it out. The reaction is priceless.
|
|
|
|
BTW, If nobody answers the door, you still leave a nasty smell (ever small
|
|
crap burning?) by the house and a wicked-looking mess on the stop.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Try filling up one of those big, dirty, not necessarily empty garbage cans
|
|
in the dorm with water and leaning it up against their door. Then knock and
|
|
run like hell.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Wait until they're gone out of the house, hook up their garden hose, push it
|
|
through the paper slot on their front door, and turn it on. Or go into the
|
|
house, turn all the taps on, and leave, locking the door behind you. If you
|
|
can spray some filler at the bottom of the door to seal more of the water
|
|
in, so much the better.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Take a two liter soda bottle and cut the neck off. (so it is like a big
|
|
drinking glass.) Fill it up with something like used motor oil, a mixture
|
|
of blood catfish bait and water (available at Wal-Mart for $2 - this stuff
|
|
smells BAD!), urine, shit and water (animal or human) or a similarly
|
|
disgusting liquid. Prop it against the door so that it will spill inside
|
|
when he opens the door. Knock and run, or just wait for him to open it
|
|
whenever.
|
|
|
|
If you have trouble getting it to balance on a smooth floor while leaning
|
|
against the door, just put a loop of duct tape at the point where it
|
|
contacts the floor.
|
|
|
|
If you can set the bottle on top of something (like an overturned trash
|
|
can, milk crates, etc) so that it is a few feet off the ground, some of
|
|
the disgusting liquid might actually get on more than just his feet...
|
|
Even if it doesn't, the liquid will still splatter further and make a
|
|
bigger mess.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Take a thumbtack and a tea bag and thumbtack the tea bag over the top of his
|
|
door. Cut the bottom off the bag, and place it on the upper edge of his
|
|
door. The idea is that when he opens it, he'll get tea dumped all over his
|
|
head.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Put a sign on his door that reads, "Do not disturb! Masturbating
|
|
intensely!"
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
One thing that is harmless (but really neat), is to tape newspaper over the
|
|
door frame, leaving only a gap at the top. Then fill the gap with Styrofoam
|
|
peanuts, popcorn, whatever. As soon as the door is opened, the vacuum sucks
|
|
light, "floaty" debris all over the entrance area.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
First, take the clear window insulator, that can be found at most hardware
|
|
stores, and put it over their door at night. The instructions tell you to
|
|
use a hairdryer, but an iron on the low setting works. That's how we did it.
|
|
If you're feeling particularly lucky, try coating the inner surface with
|
|
Vaseline. Setting a can filled with water up against their door is rather
|
|
nasty too. Lean it so that it falls over when they open the door.
|
|
|
|
#029 ICE-TRAYS/WATER CONTAINERS. By Morpheus and Mr. Twister.
|
|
|
|
This one is great on camping trips. Simply apply vinegar to the canteen of
|
|
your beloved mark, he won't forget it - neither will you.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Either empty the ice-trays without refilling them, or go for the more
|
|
elegant version by filling up the trays with salted or sugared water. The
|
|
drinks will certainly change due to the inserted content. You can also try
|
|
to mix in some Lemon juice cool-aid, just for the heck of it.
|
|
|
|
#030 THE TOILET. By Rob Peacock, KCWinstead, C. Lynn Ashworth, JusticeX,
|
|
Aaron Cake and David T. Witkowski.
|
|
|
|
Suranwrap is fun. You can also wrap it over the top of the toilet bowl on
|
|
your mark's toilet and then put the seat down. This works especially good if
|
|
your mark is a woman.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Pour syrup on the toilet seat. You can't readily see it, but your mark
|
|
*will* stick to the seat.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Many toilets have black toilet seats, which suits well with tar. Just put
|
|
tar onto the seat and it will piss off the customers of your mark.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Cement mix (the type where you just mix with water) to fill up the toilet
|
|
after you leave, or put it in on-site washing/laundry machines.
|
|
|
|
Ed> A slightly different approach is to put cement-mix into the top water
|
|
Ed> container. You just remove the top, and pour the cement into it.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Go to a restaurant that serves tomato catsup (ketchup) in little squeeze
|
|
packages. Get the ones that are really full if you can. I know that
|
|
McDonald's has good ones. Fold the packet in half, and poke a couple of
|
|
small pinholes in the packet at the crease. Lift up the seat of the mark's
|
|
toilet, and position the packets so that they are underneath the plastic
|
|
feet of the toilet seat, and face the creases so that they're pointing about
|
|
where the mark's legs will be as they sit down. Then set the seat down
|
|
gently. When your mark sits down, the backs of their legs will get doused
|
|
with the ketchup spray.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
At night, or atleast at a time when you suspect nobody would use the toilet
|
|
for quite a few hours, pour a large amount of jello powder into the bowl or
|
|
the tank.
|
|
|
|
#031 DRIVE-BY PAINT-BOMB BOMBARDMENT. By The Last Viking.
|
|
|
|
You simply fill up a balloon with paint. Close it, and then you can drive by
|
|
the place and throw the balloon at the mark's house. The smart thing about
|
|
this revenge is that you can throw the balloon over a fence. You don't have
|
|
to spend a long time at the scenery, and it is a heck of a job to remove the
|
|
paint. Be careful not to break the balloons.
|
|
|
|
#032 COMMERCIAL POSTERS. By The Last Viking.
|
|
|
|
This one is good if your mark is a store, or an organization who're using a
|
|
lot of money on commercial posters [big ones]. The idea is to change the
|
|
text on the poster to something that turns against them. e.g. If there's a
|
|
poster saying "Welcome back." Then you can write under. "and we'll steal
|
|
from you again" - you get the idea.
|
|
|
|
#033 MAILBOX LOCK. By Scott Adams.
|
|
|
|
This is a simple one, if your neighbour is getting on your nerves, then just
|
|
go to a hardware store and pick up a lock. He will eventually manage to cut
|
|
the lock off, but it'll be with some work of his side.
|
|
|
|
For more fun, you can: Pour honey in the inside, attracting many ants. Epoxy
|
|
the flag up [if you have a bad mailman, do this to every house nearby.] Fill
|
|
it with cement.
|
|
|
|
#034 CABEL TV. By Scott Adams, The Last Viking and C. H. Lund.
|
|
|
|
Suppose you live in an area equipped with cable. If you have ever looked at
|
|
those boxes, you'll know that they generally fine you pretty badly for
|
|
messing with the boxes. Open one up, and unhook wires, flip switches, do
|
|
whatever seems good. Then, close the box again, and wait. They won't get the
|
|
TV to work, will call the cable company, and get a nice fine.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Another cool thing to do is to find where the cable is dug down, then dig it
|
|
up, cut it, use some black tape to cover the cutting. Now the cable company
|
|
will have real hard time finding the error.
|
|
|
|
Remember timing is essential, cut the cable just before the Olympics any
|
|
other big event.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Instead of cutting the cable when you dig it up, stick a pin/needle into it
|
|
and cut off both ends [with a wire cutter or like], thus leaving a piece of
|
|
metal in the cable. This is guaranteed to ruin the cable, and it's
|
|
hard to find the section of cable ruined by the presence of the pin. The
|
|
entire cable will have to be replaced.
|
|
|
|
Ed> I don't see how this will work on a RF-cable, maybe on a signal cable.
|
|
|
|
#035 MAILBOX PROTECTION. By June Peckingham, Ben A. Ostrowsky and Dale Gee.
|
|
|
|
For anyone that has ever had their mailbox knocked off by a silly prankster
|
|
driving along in his car with a baseball bat, here's a suggestion for
|
|
revenge:
|
|
|
|
Buy a big mailbox and a little mailbox. Put the small mailbox inside the big
|
|
one, and fill the space between with cement. You will still get your mail
|
|
delivered but if anyone attempts to bash your box, they will break their
|
|
arm and their habit for mailbox baseball. :}
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Here's another, which works particularly well against nocturnal dweebs.
|
|
Drive a heavy pipe into the ground, next to your mailbox. Make sure it
|
|
reaches as high as the top of your mailbox. Paint it black. Wait.
|
|
|
|
For weeks, our nights had been punctuated with the occasional "Vrrrmmm...
|
|
THWACK!" as local community-college guys accelerated to about 40 mph. That
|
|
night, we heard: "Vrrrmmm... CLANG!" - "OW!" - "Shit, man, back up! I
|
|
dropped the bat!" - "No way." "Vrrrmmm..."
|
|
|
|
We laughed for ten minutes straight and got a slightly used aluminum bat out
|
|
of the deal.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
My uncle had a problem a snow plow driver who couldn't tell the difference
|
|
between the road and his mailbox. After a winter of complaining to the
|
|
county about his mail box getting flatten he took matters in his own hands.
|
|
He went down the scrap yard. Bought a 6 foot (2 meter) length of I-Beam.
|
|
The kind they use in construction. Set the thing in concrete. The first
|
|
good snow the snow plow comes along and all you heard was a loud thud. The
|
|
county complained but there was nothing they could. Uncle never lost another
|
|
mailbox.
|
|
|
|
Couple kids try to run it down one night and received the same results.
|
|
Except they needed a tow truck to take their car home.
|
|
|
|
#036 STOPPING THE GAS SUPPLY. By Karl Anders Øygard.
|
|
|
|
A friend of mine from California had this guy who was bothering the hell out
|
|
of him, so he decided to play a him a trick. When moving he'd noticed that
|
|
all you have to do to cut of the gas, is call the gas company - no ID
|
|
required, and it's turned off promptly.
|
|
|
|
One Friday afternoon he made some calls, impersonating the aforementioned
|
|
lucky fellow, and had them turn off the telephone, electricity, gas and
|
|
water. Needless to say, a certain guy was in for a nice calm weekend.
|
|
|
|
Even better: the electricity companies charge you $20 to put the electricity
|
|
back on...
|
|
|
|
#037 CANCELED EXAMS. By Karl Anders Øygard.
|
|
|
|
Here, if you need to sign off some exams, you skip down to the student's
|
|
office and tell them; point is, you don't need any kind of ID, so you could
|
|
just as easily sign all your friends and enemies off as well. You'll have to
|
|
know which exams they are signed up for, but with a little effort this
|
|
should pose no real problem.
|
|
|
|
Ed> I know for sure that this won't work here at the University of Tromsø.
|
|
Ed> When I was canceling a Math course they asked for both social no. [SS]
|
|
Ed> and student identification. Still you could try it, but remember that
|
|
Ed> it's a fellow student who actually loses maybe half a year of studies,
|
|
Ed> and I guarantee there will be trouble.
|
|
|
|
#038 THE VANISHING ROOM. By Gordon Prioreschi.
|
|
|
|
One of the "classic" pranks where I went to school: when some dorm-dweller
|
|
left for vacation, his dorm-mates got some drywall, speckle, paint, etc.,
|
|
covered his door, and painted it to match the rest of the hall. Really neat,
|
|
tidy job -- you couldn't tell that there had been a door there. They even
|
|
went so far as to move a light fixture onto the new "wall" to confuse the
|
|
guy. When he came back from vacation, they all pretended not to know him
|
|
-- and his room had "disappeared."
|
|
|
|
He eventually got a hammer and started flailing at the wall. Finding his
|
|
door took a while due to the light fixture. Meanwhile, the others called
|
|
Security: "There's some strange guy beating on the walls with a hammer..."
|
|
|
|
Ed> A bit unbelievable. Yet, we're allowed to dream about it.
|
|
|
|
#039 NOISY PARTY STOPPERS. By The Last Viking, Samuel Kaplin and DanD.
|
|
|
|
I was at a party where there was two guys who were making much noise. When
|
|
they finally fell asleep, we gathered our forces and swiftly stripped their
|
|
clothes of and placed the fellas in a bed. Then we brushed their ass with a
|
|
toothbrush. Next morning they woke up bare naked, accompanied by each other
|
|
and a sore ass.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
I was working in a bar, and there was this totally idiot who was plastered
|
|
to the point of passing out. One of us drove him home in his car, the other
|
|
followed. We then parked his car in front of his house and sprinkled the
|
|
front liberally with cow's blood and threw some human hair on the front. We
|
|
then left the car. When he got up in the morning he freaked.
|
|
|
|
It just so happened that there was a hit and run that night and he thought
|
|
he did it. Fortunately he already had some front end damage so we didn't
|
|
have to break anything. We never did tell about this, and to this day he
|
|
thinks he is guilty, and some other sucker took the rap.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Some friends were coming back from a concert when one guy who was the
|
|
biggest jerk passed out in the van. The women in the group happily took
|
|
turns layering his head with hair spray. Spray a little, let it dry, spray a
|
|
little more, etc. They went through 2 bottles of the stuff. When he got home
|
|
and woke up, he had a hair helmet!
|
|
|
|
#040 FAX MACHINES. By MAD Mosher, Dale Nurden and The Last Viking.
|
|
|
|
Ed> Before you do any stunt with your fax machine, remember that most FAX
|
|
Ed> machines prints their telephone numbers on the top page of the paper
|
|
Ed> they are sending out.
|
|
|
|
Print out about 8 sheets filled with crap. I dunno - one sheet with "fuck"
|
|
written all over, one with "shit", so forth. Stick them together with tape,
|
|
and feed into the fax machine. Dial one of their offices and start the
|
|
message. When the first sheet comes out the other end, tape it to the end of
|
|
the message. You now have one big loop of paper which you can leave. This
|
|
will run up their phone bill and use a load of expensive FAX paper at the
|
|
other end. Best ideas would be to do this just before clocking off at the
|
|
end of the day so that it runs overnight.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Totally black paper might overheat the fax machine.
|
|
|
|
Ed> Only proven to work on real old FAX's.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Someone once mentioned that if you sent a file full of form-feed characters
|
|
to one of those FAX machines with an automatic paper cutter thingy, the mark
|
|
would end up with a pile of 1 inch strips of paper.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
I created a fax that sent ten pages of supposedly "internal diagnostic
|
|
messages", like:
|
|
|
|
System Error 1207: Internal controller failure.
|
|
|
|
These were to be followed by one which warned the user to disconnect the
|
|
machine and not attempt to use it until "qualified repair personnel" had
|
|
serviced it. Then I waited until a Friday afternoon, just before a three day
|
|
holiday weekend, and started sending the FAX after 5 PM when I knew no one
|
|
would be available to "repair" it.
|
|
|
|
Other interesting stuff to do with your FAX is to send the first page
|
|
"missing". Start the second page so it looks like his machine "ate" the
|
|
first page, or someone forgot to send it. Make it look like the FAX
|
|
contained vital information from someone he knows. Get him to call everyone
|
|
he knows to find out if they sent it. For example, if the second page merely
|
|
said:
|
|
|
|
Page 2
|
|
|
|
your life. Now that you know what he's planning to do to
|
|
you, you can take steps to protect yourself. I wish you luck.
|
|
If I can help, please call me. I won't call you, because
|
|
your phone is probably tapped and that would just tip him
|
|
off. Watch your step, buddy!
|
|
|
|
Ed> Or place a huge order with the address of your company on page 1.
|
|
|
|
If he works for a big company, or a secretary is likely to see his faxes
|
|
first, send him a really "personal" one from a "lover", identified by first
|
|
name only, of course. Get his secretary to start suspecting him. Even if she
|
|
never read it, he'll wonder if she did.
|
|
|
|
#041 UGLY THINGS TO DO WITH SHIT. By The Last Viking and Chris Burroughs.
|
|
|
|
Just put all the toilet-paper in the toilet, take a shit, then add some
|
|
water. It's really easy, and real disgusting. If you are patient enough, you
|
|
can flood the whole toilet.
|
|
|
|
If you want to become utterly tasteless you would just shit in a lamp (You
|
|
know that in the ceiling, which you can unscrew) then reinstall it. The
|
|
lightbulb will create heat that makes the shit vapor and it will smell
|
|
real ugly.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
I call it the "Upper Decker". All you do is go into a bathroom and lift off
|
|
the back part of the toilet. Now stand on the seat and shit into the water
|
|
in the back of the toilet. Then just close the lid and wait. In a couple of
|
|
days it will start to stink really bad. When it gets all nasty and mushy,
|
|
everytime someone flush it, nasty brown water will come out.
|
|
|
|
#042 DISABLING LOCKS. By Kelton E. Ryan, Oleg, Lyvo and Andrew Barg.
|
|
|
|
I read somewhere that it can be very effective to stick toothpicks into
|
|
somebody's car door lock and break them off. Apparently this cannot be
|
|
repaired without great difficulty, the mark will have to take his car in and
|
|
probably pay a few bucks to get it fixed.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Try dropping couple drip of crazy clue into his/her office's keyhole when
|
|
he/she's not in. I normally do that on combination locks.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Jam the lock with small bits of wire.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
You can glue coins to the base of someone's car window. In an attempt to
|
|
remove the coins, they will usually shatter the window.
|
|
|
|
#043 THE MARK'S PARTY. By Darren.
|
|
|
|
Go to your mark's house when he has a party. Get an old electrical socket,
|
|
and leave about 2 feet of it hanging off. Remove the plastic, and twist the
|
|
wires together. When you plug it in the socket, the electricity breaker will
|
|
trip, thereby turning off the electricity, therefor the lights will go out,
|
|
thereby allowing you to rob the house if you want!!!!
|
|
|
|
It works! I tried it, but I didn't rob the house! It just makes a more
|
|
interesting party when no one knows why the fuck all the lights went out,
|
|
and is too stupid to check the electrical box and put the breaker back on!
|
|
|
|
Ed> Just don't electrocute yourself.
|
|
|
|
#044 JUNK MAIL REPLY. By DanD, JRWinston, Lee Lorenz and Diana Balance.
|
|
|
|
Glue the entire inside of the envelope together. Or better still, glue many
|
|
pieces of paper together, then glue the envelope together. All-in-all pretty
|
|
harmless, but imagine the poor schmuck trying to pull that sucker open
|
|
without tearing something. Even one better, put a generic check, made out
|
|
for $$$ inside, so the schmuck gets distraught at destroying it.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
You might want to make sure that all address labels and anything inside
|
|
containing your name are removed first. I'm told that "misuse" of "business
|
|
reply envelopes" is a violation of US Postal Service regulations.
|
|
"Discretion is advised", as they say.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
I like to cross-mail my junk mail. Take company A's crap, extract the
|
|
post-paid envelope. Do the same to company B's junk mailing. Insert A's
|
|
pamphlets, letters, testimonials, etc, into B's envelope, and vice versa.
|
|
Basically, RE-MAIL your junk-mail to some other company, and let the
|
|
recipient pay for it! This is most fun with creative selection. Send the
|
|
catalog of adult movies to the local church. Send the request for donations
|
|
to the local church to the local homeless shelter.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Always remember you can mail cockroaches. Just put sugar in a padded
|
|
envelope and tape/staple in really well so he'll lose his patience and rip
|
|
it open in a hurry.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
You know those things that fall in a torrent from every magazine you get?
|
|
Solution; Send them in blank. No name is required and postage is guaranteed.
|
|
Maybe after a few hundred thousand dollars is wasted somebody will wake up?
|
|
|
|
#045 A SNOW MAN. By DanD.
|
|
|
|
I've always enjoyed building a snowman over a fire hydrant. There's always
|
|
someone to come along who thinks wrecking some kid's snowman is FUN. He
|
|
soon discovers that having a broken foot is not fun.
|
|
|
|
#046 LANDLORD REVENGE. By Frank Reid, Mary, David K. Bryant, Charles Trent
|
|
and DanD.
|
|
|
|
Install a hidden doorbell, or other electric noisemaker in the basement. Run
|
|
the wires out to the alley and hide the end under a rock. At 03:00, connect
|
|
a battery to the wires just long enough for the lights in the house to go
|
|
on. Repeat at random intervals longer than one week.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Periodically I would be scheduled to work an all-nighter. Before leaving for
|
|
work I would turn off my answering machine and place both of my phones next
|
|
to our common bedroom wall. During the night I would call my number and let
|
|
it ring five times and hang up. I'd wait thirty seconds and try again. After
|
|
ten minutes of that I'd wait maybe half an hour and start again. Sometimes
|
|
I'd dial my number and then just put the phone down and go back to work for
|
|
half an hour or so. Hey, I was up and awake -- why shouldn't they be?
|
|
|
|
Another thing you can do is set the alarm clock at, say, 5:30, then just let
|
|
it stand there and ring.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Do you pay utilities separate from rent? If not, how about leaving the water
|
|
running all day and cranking the heat up real high and opening the windows
|
|
[assuming its real cold out].
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Plant some marijuana in the garden. Let it grow a little. Turn them in.
|
|
The local law can seize the property, meaning the cops take away the house
|
|
and the owners do not get it back! Bullshit laws, but hey. Might as well do
|
|
some good with them. The case has to be proven, of course, but it will at
|
|
least cause some discomfort.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
If you're going to move out, leave some raw meat in the heating vents, and
|
|
don't hang around.
|
|
|
|
Ed> Chicken is perfect.
|
|
|
|
#047 COPS. By The Last Viking and Toby Lane.
|
|
|
|
You've just driven faster than the speed limit, the police is after you. Now
|
|
do this. Drive a bit faster [preferably at the speed limit], just until the
|
|
police are just behind you. Then hit the brakes. You know, just lock the
|
|
darn wheels. If you are "lucky" the police will drive straight into you, and
|
|
you can go out and make the best out of it. BANG! The guy driving into you
|
|
from behind is the one who has got to pay for the damages.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
First of all, be very, very careful. Honest cops can come down on you hard
|
|
if they think you are going to mess with them, and corrupt cops are not
|
|
restricted by the moral or even legal restraints that the honest ones are.
|
|
If you have already antagonized these guys, don't even think of doing
|
|
anything for at least six months, as any shit that happens to them will make
|
|
them suspect you immediately. If you can, work through a trusted proxy. The
|
|
best stunt is to use the cops supposed powers against them.
|
|
|
|
Find a very attractive married woman that you don't know and get her phone
|
|
number [you're creative, you'll think of something] Phone her up from a bar
|
|
or public phone and claim to be Officer X. Tell her that you saw her in her
|
|
car, and used your car computer to get her phone number and address from the
|
|
number plate on her car. Tell her you love her. Be graphic. If she says that
|
|
shes married, threaten to arrest the husband on some trumped up charge
|
|
[sadly, drug possession charges seem to get severe sentences in the States,
|
|
so use this one] so that you can be with her. Do this [with variations] on
|
|
as many important and influential people and/or their families as you can.
|
|
They will be the only people who are able to wield enough influence to get
|
|
rid of Officer Asshole.
|
|
|
|
#048 FEMALE ATTRIBUTES. By The Last Viking.
|
|
|
|
If you have access to a scanner/paint-program/printer, then get a picture of
|
|
your mark, preferably a woman. Scan it, then surf around the net for a
|
|
while, until you find some good [x-rated] pictures, that can be used [Fairly
|
|
the same position and distance/light]. Cut'n'paste, smooth it. Do a good job
|
|
on it. Then hang it on a display-board at campus or at work.
|
|
|
|
#049 VISINE AS A LAXATIVE. By Rugger.
|
|
|
|
If you want to give somebody the shits really quick, then put 2 or 3 drops
|
|
of Visine [an eye wash] in their drink and within 15 minutes or so, they'll
|
|
be running for the crapper. A bartender told me this trick because he used
|
|
to do it to get rid of obnoxious drunks. Visine is available in any
|
|
drugstore in the USA.
|
|
|
|
#050 POWER FAILURE. By Mary.
|
|
|
|
Sneak in when they are not home and carefully open up the electrical wall
|
|
sockets or the tiles of a suspended ceiling. Insert scrap pieces of raw
|
|
chicken in the wall or ceiling and close it back up.
|
|
|
|
The smell will be terrible and they wont be able to figure out where it's
|
|
coming from. You could always just hide the pieces around the apt. too,
|
|
[under the kitchen sink, in a linen closet, between box spring and
|
|
mattress].
|
|
|
|
#051 STORE WORKER HUMILIATION. Elaine Ford.
|
|
|
|
Hire a friend [male] to come in the store where your mark work, at the
|
|
busiest time of the day. Have him buy one item - condoms. Have him get in
|
|
your friends line. During checkout, have him say loudly: "I had a great time
|
|
last night [insert jerks name here] honey. Are these the kind you wanted me
|
|
to pick up for later?" If he's not a checker or a bagger, ask a clerk if
|
|
they could just "call the stud he picked up last night" over the microphone.
|
|
|
|
#052 THE CAR. By David K. Bryant, Toby Lane, Hiram, Tapas Pain, The Last
|
|
Viking, Neil P. Montoya, John Armstrong, Bjørn Stenbakken,
|
|
Kirby, Roy Stewart, Joan Tine, Steve McQueen, Mark, Loop,
|
|
Simon Wright, Larry Collins, Gregory Winer, David Morning,
|
|
Jim Michael, Prime Risk, Patrick I Buchert, Michael Thomas
|
|
Albers, Scott, Billy Soh, J. Kennedy, Jeremy Winter, Troy
|
|
Harnish, Jeremy Harrington, Aaron Cake, Humdinger7,
|
|
Jennifer Nadobny and Michael Biddle.
|
|
|
|
Ed> The car revenge section is the biggest part in this Text. Some of the
|
|
Ed> credits given above, may not be righteous as I have deleted some of the
|
|
Ed> previous ideas, and I really have no clue who wrote what. We also
|
|
Ed> have a little warning here, from Timothy Tobin: "You may want to let
|
|
Ed> your readers know that obstructing the tail-pipe on vehicles can cause
|
|
Ed> carbon monoxide to leak into the passenger cabin and cause death. Just
|
|
Ed> thought you should know. Thanks."
|
|
|
|
|
|
You know those little plastic dinosaurs and other cute little kid toys? The
|
|
ones that are usually found in bubble gum machines, or even won at the
|
|
circus. They make a nice match for superglue. In fact you can make a whole
|
|
scene on a car, and they are extremely nice for hood ornaments.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Get two or three cans of shaving cream. Open the hood of your mark's car and
|
|
set them on the exaust manifold (you may need some duct tape to keep them in
|
|
place). The basic idea is, that when the engine warms up, the cans explode,
|
|
covering the enging with shaving cream.
|
|
|
|
Note: Do NOT use things such as WD40, Deoderant, etc. These will explode,
|
|
seriously injuring of killing your mark.
|
|
|
|
Go to the hardware store and buy a small can of butane (the kind you use to
|
|
refill a lighter). Drill a small hole in your marks distributer cap. Squirt
|
|
a small amount of butane in and quickly cover the hole with duct tape,
|
|
epoxy, etc. When the car starts up, the sparking in the distributer will set
|
|
off the butane, blowing the distributer cap right off the engine. It could
|
|
also damage the rotor, etc.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Take a can of paint and tape a paint stirrer to it, or any stick. Place it
|
|
under their car so that it will tip over when they back out. If the person
|
|
backs into the driveway and leaves forward, they might not notice the paint
|
|
until they get back.
|
|
|
|
Ed> Tar is also effective.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
A friend of me was able to sabotage a car by putting a lawn sprinkler on the
|
|
top of it. He let the sprinkler run through all the cold night and by
|
|
morning there was a three foot thick layer of ice on the car.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Take "Wilson" brand ping-pong balls, slit half-way through. Fill with
|
|
crystal Drano (TM). Tape profusely with black electricians tape. Drop down a
|
|
vehicle's gas tank that it will fit in. Then run. Drano and gasoline have a
|
|
most violent chemical reaction that will stand even a 73 Ford LTD on it's
|
|
nose! [and ping-pong balls dissolve easily in gasoline]
|
|
|
|
Ed> Some curious mind asked me what Crystal Drano was, and to be honest, I
|
|
Ed> had no clue. After airing the question in alt.revenge, I was told that
|
|
Ed> it was some kind of chemical to un-clog water pipes in the home.
|
|
|
|
Miller Steven adds to this:
|
|
|
|
The stuff is basically the solid stuff that you dissolve in water to get
|
|
bleach ---- except that you can make it any concentration you like, because
|
|
you buy the solid.
|
|
|
|
It is mostly sodium hydroxide and sodium hypochlorite, which are two very
|
|
strong alkalis, and are very corrosive. (Don't get the stuff on you skin!)
|
|
There is also something in there which gives off a bit of ammonia, but I'm
|
|
not sure what gives rise to this.
|
|
|
|
Anyway, make sure you don't add any acid to the solution in water, because
|
|
that will give off chlorine gas, which is very toxic. (It was used in WW1
|
|
in the trenches.) Or at least, if you do, then do it in a ``well ventilated
|
|
area,'' as they say.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Try dropping a couple of eggs down the heater intake vent on a car. Normally
|
|
located near the windshield. Go ahead and crack the eggs open and drop them
|
|
in nicely. Wipe off any that doesn't go in the vent so the customer doesn't
|
|
know it's in there. They may notice a strange smell at first, but nothing
|
|
compared to how it will smell in a day or two. This smell is virtually
|
|
impossible to get rid of, Esp. if it makes it all the way to the heater
|
|
core.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
A very simple way to screw up a car is to remove the balancing weights from
|
|
the wheels. The tires will now be out of balance and driving will not be
|
|
good on the tires or the suspension. At the very least the mark will have to
|
|
spend a while at a tire shop and pay $5 or so per tire to have them
|
|
re-balanced.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
After seeing a special on TV about people who do weird things to their cars,
|
|
I thought of something that would be funny to do to someone who is in love
|
|
with their car: Find some sort of water soluble glue, or other sticky
|
|
substance, and coat the car everywhere but the glass when the mark will not
|
|
be near the car for a few days. After the coat apply grass seed.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
In any case, should you use some other than glue, the seeds would probably
|
|
just die. I.e. you might need to do some more elaborate setup. In any case
|
|
very cool idea if you could pull it off, saw one car which was grass-coated
|
|
on TV but I recall it took pretty long to get it look good.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Take some solid dog waste (with thick rubber gloves and use them only once
|
|
please) and shove it up and underneath the marks car door handles (do a neat
|
|
job, so it's not noticable) in the middle of the night. Watch the show in
|
|
the morning when the mark is off to work!
|
|
|
|
Ed> A plastic-bag is also suitable for picking up dog-trash.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Slide under the front and poke some holes in the lower radiator hose using
|
|
a sharp ice pick. The puncture should close itself, and everything will be
|
|
fine until the engine gets up to temperature and then the coolant will blow
|
|
out the holes. Quick & easy. No assembly required.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Try using that hardening, expanding window caulk that's used to insulate
|
|
cracks and crevasses in the winter. Squirt a liberal amount of that up his
|
|
tailpipe early in the evening so it has time to harden over night. If you
|
|
get it in far enough, it will be invisible, and baffle him for a while...not
|
|
to mention the cost of a tow [$50 around here] + muffler work [another $85]
|
|
+ lost work time = fun.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Put some sort of racially degrading bumper sticker on his/her car. Survey
|
|
the local area and find out what ethnic group is the most militant, and use
|
|
that one for your assault. Otherwise, use generic "White Power" or "Give
|
|
America Back to Real Americans", "The Klu Klux Klan - Working for Real
|
|
Americans."
|
|
|
|
If their car isn't torched or mutilated within a few days, send them on a
|
|
drive through the bad part of town.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Cross wire their headlights to their horn. Great way for them to make
|
|
friends with the neighbours, especially if they leave home at 5 AM.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
This one only works in the winter in temps below freezing but it's good. Get
|
|
one of those small air tanks, you know like the ones we've all seen on big
|
|
pickups or tow trucks [we used to have one in our garage for our bikes when
|
|
I was a kid.] Fill it up about 3/4 with water, then pressurize it. Go to the
|
|
car you want to revenge and let the air out of one or two tires. Then refill
|
|
the tires using the tank you brought with. The water will freeze solid and
|
|
every time they take off after having let the car sit a while they'll get a
|
|
strange "thump-thump" that mysteriously goes away by the time they ever get
|
|
to a mechanic.
|
|
|
|
Should be sufficient to cause some good repair bills.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Feminist used this trick in Oslo mid-70'ties. They sprayed "Hore Kunde."
|
|
meaning: "whore customer" at the side of the whore customer's cars. There
|
|
are many other things you can spray at a person's car for example blow me,
|
|
I have AIDS, I'm cheating my wife, dial (phone no.), I am horny, etc.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Three more good ones. "Registered Sex Offender, Child Molester or Paroled
|
|
Rapist" - These really improve community relations.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Get a hype and fill it with fox urine lure from your local hunting supply.
|
|
Insert the needle in the rubber gasket or coaming that seals the window or
|
|
door and spray the inside of the car. For months the car will be sticky,
|
|
and every time the weather warms up it will smell like a boy fox in love.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
A friend of me once suranwraped her mark's car. She wrapped the plastic
|
|
around the car, from bottom to top. If the car sits in the sun, say Phoenix
|
|
Arizona sun, it makes it real fun. Be sure to cover the door handles and
|
|
locks.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Tie your mark's car to the something on his house, or his other car or
|
|
something [use solid rope or a chain] for example, attaching it to the door
|
|
knob on the outhouse-door should make much damage.
|
|
|
|
This works best if the chain or rope is long. Approx. 20-30 meters. Do it in
|
|
the dark, and cover the rope with some sand or something. Then you can sit
|
|
back and wait for him to drive to his school or job. The longer the rope,
|
|
the better, because he will then gain more speed before anything happens.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Get a C-clamp from a hardware store. Slide under the car and use the clamp
|
|
to squeeze the exhaust pipe flat. But not completely flat. Leave about
|
|
1/2cm so that the car will start fine and drive OK in traffic but when heavy
|
|
acceleration or high speed driving is needed it is gutless. This should give
|
|
similar indications of fuel starvation.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
A way to polka-dot a car is to throw fresh Bologna on it at night when it is
|
|
dewy out. Next day, they peel it off and 'Viola! Polka-dot paint, just what
|
|
the doctor ordered.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
This one would require the mark to be on a long vacation and their car needs
|
|
to be kinda hidden from view of too many people. Get a good jack, jack up
|
|
their car and make small slits in the tops of the tires. Pour the concrete
|
|
in and let it dry. When it is dry lower the car and clean up as much as
|
|
possible. Won't they be surprised?
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Some high students in Ohio [I think] actually pulled this one off. They got
|
|
their hands on a large amount of plaster of Paris bandages, the kind wrapped
|
|
around splints which harden and form a cast, you know what I'm talking
|
|
about? It took four of them ten minutes to completely mummify the car, then
|
|
they ran a hose over it and hardened it solid. Difficult and expensive to
|
|
pull off.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
To really fuck up tires, pull out the "stems" with pliers. But leave them
|
|
there beside the tires because, for some reason, the schned you have done
|
|
this to will almost always try to push them back in. This is an absolutely
|
|
hilarious sight if you dare hang around and watch it.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Get the distributor cap, take it out, and run a simple graphite pencil over
|
|
the rotor brushes. The engine will sputter and misfire.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Three or four Alka-Seltzers in each battery compartment will kill it quicker
|
|
than prunes through a short granny.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
For the fuel tank, the following I recommended Crushed cork, Silicone
|
|
carbide or sugar, but make it icing sugar. Shellac thinner added to "gas" as
|
|
you guys call it, will cause the engine to sputter and misfire, but it goes
|
|
out the exhaust pretty quickly. Use about a gallon, and keep adding it over
|
|
a time. The car owner will keep taking it to a mechanic, who will keep
|
|
finding nothing wrong with the engine, annoying them both.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Styrene, don't add it to the "gas" but to the oil. It breaks down the oil
|
|
and this locks up the engine. You need to use about one pint to every four
|
|
quarts of oil, and it will take about 1.5 to 2 hours of road time.
|
|
|
|
One final piece of advice. When adding stuff to a "gas" tank, put the stuff
|
|
in a metal gasoline can. That way anyone who sees you will assume that it is
|
|
gasoline. Don't forget a funnel. Seems obvious, but I've forgotten, ahem or
|
|
would have if I had ever actually done any of these tricks which of course I
|
|
haven't, they're illegal and I would never dream of blah blah blah..
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
With some very trusted friends, put your mark's car on blocks and take off
|
|
all the nuts on the wheels. Put super-glue on the "threads" of the bolts and
|
|
screw on the nuts as tightly as possible. Then file the edges of the nuts so
|
|
they cannot be gripped by a spanner easily. Then puncture all four tires.
|
|
His mechanic will need literally weeks to get it back on the road.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Put the car it in neutral, put it in a handicapped space, put an anti-police
|
|
bumper sticker on it, and call the cops. I recommend, "BEAUTIFY THE WORLD --
|
|
KILL A COP TODAY!"
|
|
|
|
The cop will find extra citations. If you are really mean, a little bag of
|
|
pot tucked past the door-frame where it can be seen [stretch the door top
|
|
out and drop it through] will put him into the nightmare world of our legal
|
|
system.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
If he already has his own locking gas cap, you could make it "REAL SECURE"
|
|
for him. Break off some toothpicks and super glue or epoxy them into the
|
|
lock.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Go to an Auto parts store purchase a locking gas cap and then replace the
|
|
cap on your mark's car with it. Just remember to wipe off your prints, never
|
|
buy one with a check or card.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
I have found that the viscous paint stripper does a - Billy Crystal -
|
|
marvelous job on automobile paint. Be sure the surface is dry. A little dew
|
|
reduces the effect.
|
|
|
|
Ed> Try tape used for sealing envelopes.
|
|
|
|
A previous suggestion of draining the oil from the engine is fine as far as
|
|
it goes but unfortunately there are gauges and warning lights. Try the
|
|
transmission. One benefit of this is that they will breakdown somewhere
|
|
besides the front yard.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
A lot of people are curious of engines and cars in general. How to disable
|
|
them, how to *creatively re-condition* them. Below is a list of suggestions I
|
|
have picked up over the years. It is by no means exhaustive, and may be
|
|
inaccurate in certain cases, but from what I have seen and heard, is fairly
|
|
reliable.
|
|
|
|
Engines [if you have access to under the hood]
|
|
|
|
- Attack on the distributor with a graphite pencil is fun.
|
|
- A solution is available [from Force Ten] that can turn oil into Jello.
|
|
- Styrofoam or Tide in engine oil.
|
|
- Naphtha in engine oil.
|
|
- Drain oil, into a container, so that there are no traces.
|
|
|
|
Tires
|
|
|
|
- Spray WD40 onto the rotors and into the drums.
|
|
- Fill tires with propane. Adapters can be bought at auto parts stores.
|
|
|
|
Fuel
|
|
|
|
- Styrofoam [crushed] in gas tank works wonders.
|
|
- Dissolve moth balls in gas and add to target tank. This will make the
|
|
engine run so hot, the engine oil breaks down, engine seizes. It is hard
|
|
to trace and damage is already done when person realizes engine is hot.
|
|
- Punch a hole in the fuel tank, then call the fire Dept. Car gets towed,
|
|
and the owner will be fined.
|
|
|
|
Paint
|
|
|
|
- Liquid scratch is available from Force Ten, and it is really problematic
|
|
to paint.
|
|
|
|
Locks
|
|
|
|
- Broken keys in door locks are good for a medium pi** off, but
|
|
can be extracted.
|
|
- Two part epoxy is interesting. Locks must be replaced. Do trunk as well.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
I have discovered a good way of dirtying someone's windscreen. The dirt
|
|
agent is glue sticks from a hot glue gun. It's very easy. Just warm it with
|
|
your hands a little, then rub it real hard over the mark's windscreen.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Here's something fun for car windshields/windows. Concrete sealant is a
|
|
nasty, sticky liquid that is used to water-seal concrete after it is poured.
|
|
Anyways, if you spray/pour this crap on someone's windows it will make a
|
|
lovely cloudy, yellow coating on it.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Coat the mark's windshield wipers with glue and then cover with sand. Next
|
|
rain, their windshield will be scratched to hell!
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
A trick I used to do, was take small glass vials stolen from the doctors
|
|
office and fill them with vaseline, or some other viscous substance. I'd cap
|
|
them and carry them around until some dumb-ass jock tried to express his
|
|
sexual frustrations, and penile inadequacies by trying to run me over in his
|
|
car. Then I would pull a vial out of my pocket and throw it as hard as I
|
|
could at his windshield. As jocks are not the smartest people in the world,
|
|
he would inevitably turn on his wipers thus smearing the grease all over his
|
|
windshield.
|
|
|
|
#053 GRAFFITI WITH AJAX. By Toby Lane.
|
|
|
|
If you want graffiti that will really stick around, get a big sheet of paper
|
|
and write your message on it with liquid Ajax [for you Americans, Comet?]
|
|
Something like "[Mark] blows goats" or whatever. You take the paper to the
|
|
wall, douse it in lighter fluid, stick it to the wall, make a lighter
|
|
fluid trail away from the wall and light it. The whole thing burns in about
|
|
one second, so there is no fire danger, but your message gets stuck to the
|
|
wall by some chemical process, and it is virtually impossible to get off.
|
|
|
|
#054 THE POOL. By John Hong, L. A. Spangler and Florin Cutzu.
|
|
|
|
Just pour dysenteric shit in the pool - you may get it [freely!] from any
|
|
Infectious Diseases clinic; if not, thoroughly mix a hefty volume of fresh,
|
|
steaming, healthy shit with warm water, and add it to the pool. A good eye
|
|
infection is guaranteed.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Fling in rancid fatty chicken/fish parts ferchristsakes. If there are any
|
|
scavenger birds in the area, they will just add to the amusement. I am told
|
|
vulture shit is VERY gross. The fat should leave a nice ring. A road kill/
|
|
large animal carcass would be rather impressive.
|
|
|
|
Also, consider motor oil/crisco/lard/etc. If you used used motor oil and
|
|
finked on'em to the EPA/Local TV maybe they would have to call in a
|
|
hazardous waste disposal company instead of just sending it down the drain.
|
|
|
|
Add some Styrofoam peanuts/cups and gasoline, and light the pool at night
|
|
with a model rocket motor, a battery and a long wire?
|
|
|
|
I had great fun just lobbing mud balls into a pool -- makes a nice plop
|
|
sound and leaves nice round dirt rings on the pool bottom. Another thing
|
|
that could be cool is throwing plaster/clay/cement/gravel into the pool. If
|
|
you poured enough cement into the bottom drain quickly so the pump get
|
|
jammed, the cement might still have enough lime to harden underwater.
|
|
|
|
In the *real sick* section, we have: Really firm floating feces, used
|
|
sanitary napkins/tampax, used diapers, used condoms or scanky underwear
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Kodak, and other chemical companies sell classes of chemicals called
|
|
surficants. These essentially make water more slippery. In a fountain with
|
|
close tollerance, water hits 1 inch from edge, a good surficant can send the
|
|
water splashing 3 inches beyond the fountain pool. Drain the fountain in
|
|
short order, and burn out the pump.
|
|
|
|
Another alternative would be long chain polymers, the same stuff things like
|
|
astro-gel and slippery-stuff is made out of. It's not hard to duplicate the
|
|
recipe. A good friend did. But should make hot-tubbing a lot more fun.
|
|
|
|
#055 THE SHOWER. By Denise L Voskuil, Frank Reid, David Gillies, DanD,
|
|
Cathleen Gallagher, John L. Kinsella and Dylan Hayes.
|
|
|
|
Take a pill capsule [the gelatine ones are best]. Open it and fill with
|
|
methaline blue dye which comes in powder form, is non toxic but very, very
|
|
good at stains. Fill the capsule with the powder. Smear the pill in some
|
|
vaseline. Insert pill into shower head. Mark runs water, gets in a then blue
|
|
dye comes out staining mark very well [especially good with blond hair!]
|
|
You may need some practise to make a pill that last just long enough for the
|
|
mark to get in the shower.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
If the mark is a habitual person, unscrew the shower head in the shower you
|
|
expect him/her to use, and drop a bouillon cube or two in. The hot water
|
|
will slowly melt the cube and the victim probably won't notice until it's
|
|
too late. The smell hangs on for a day or so. This worked well in my dorm.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Empty their bottle of shampoo, then fill it back up with Nair.
|
|
|
|
Ed> uh, won't the mark notice a slight difference?
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
A follow-up to my previous posting on the effectiveness of Nair: the stuff
|
|
may not always be effective on leg hair, from my personal experience. I
|
|
haven't personally been revenged by the "Nair in the shampoo" method, nor
|
|
have I done it -- this should clarify my previous remarks. My SO did this
|
|
to someone, and it caused a fair amount of hair loss, with some clumps lost.
|
|
|
|
The results may vary according to how much Nair you put in the shampoo
|
|
bottle. Also, try to get a type that smells pretty good -- I think there's
|
|
different scents, and from my recollection it does have a distinct smell.
|
|
You don't want to tip off your target when they pour out the shampoo. BTW,
|
|
the stuff is opaque, so if they use transparent shampoo, it'll be
|
|
noticeable.
|
|
|
|
Finally, see if they sell an "extra-strength" version, to really wreak
|
|
havoc.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Try substituting real honey for the mark's honey-coloured shampoo. Honey has
|
|
a slight odor that the mark may detect, and it's water-soluble, so this is a
|
|
mild trick. If you want to get really nasty, use STP oil treatment. It's not
|
|
only odorless but, unlike most oils, soap won't dissolve it!
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
It seems to me that the trouble with spiking shampoo with a depilatory is
|
|
that you just whack the stuff on your head, squeegee it about a bit, and
|
|
rinse off. What you need is something that is going to stay on the mark's
|
|
bounce for a bit longer. How about conditioner? A minute's exposure might
|
|
not turn the mark into Yul Brynner, but it's got to be better than the few
|
|
seconds exposure you get from shampoo. I guess the ultimate medium would be
|
|
a home perm kit, or a hair dye solution. After all, you don't want to wash
|
|
that out.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
To add Nair, pour a small amount of shampoo into a cup. Add Nair to the
|
|
remaining shampoo until you can smell it, just remember to add a little at
|
|
the time and shake it each time. Add a little of the shampoo from the cup to
|
|
the bottle.
|
|
|
|
The small amount you add back will cover the slight smell you detected after
|
|
adding the Nair.
|
|
|
|
#056 DOGGIES. By Toby Lane, DanD, Thomas Gauldin, Doug Clayton, DCrowder,
|
|
Stryk9, Stuart Ransley, Cyberknight, Yankee and Brent
|
|
Volden.
|
|
|
|
Ed> A dog is an animal. An animal can not be held responsible for it's
|
|
Ed> actions. If it's owner doesn't take proper care of his dog, then it will
|
|
Ed> become scared and it will bark. This is the owner's fault, not the fault
|
|
Ed> of the animal. My advice to you is to go after the owner, and to read
|
|
Ed> the alt.revenge FAQ.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
We had a problem with our neighbour's dog taking a dump in our garden.
|
|
Finally, a friend of mine helped me collect a bucketfull of dog-shit from
|
|
his and some others dogs. We put it into our mark's mailbox and sealed
|
|
everything with rubber cement.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Buy a dog whistle and go out about 4AM and start blowing it. It will
|
|
probably make the dog bark *Hopefully* When they come out to check, the dog
|
|
stop doing it. Wait ten minutes until they are asleep again and..
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
"Dognap" the critter, sedating it first is recommended, and take it to a the
|
|
most expensive kennel you can find. Explain that you are going away for a
|
|
week and demand the very best for little Foo-Foo [or Chopper or whatever
|
|
its name is] Leave them your neighbour's address and phone number and make a
|
|
cash down payment for the first day if necessary, which it sometimes is.
|
|
Your neighbour will get a call about ten days and several hundred bucks
|
|
later.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
They make bark-deterrent devices that don't need to be attached to the dog.
|
|
When the device detects a bark, it emits a high-frequency sound that hurts
|
|
the dog. Every time it barks, it gets a painful blast. It will learn not to
|
|
bark soon enough.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
If the dog is left outdoors at night, become its friend. Then, shave it - or
|
|
just its rear. If its rear is shaved, grease it up and make an anonymous
|
|
call to the police to report the person as a pervert having sex with the
|
|
dog.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Dogs sniff territory right? Yes.. but pay attention to the next time they
|
|
sniff a tree. They sniff until they get to the height the the urine can be
|
|
smelled most strongly. This tells them the height of the animal who has
|
|
marked the tree and therefore who's territory they are in.
|
|
|
|
Go down to the zoo and buy lunch for the caretaker of big cats. Get a good
|
|
sized pack of dung and urine and rub it on the trees in your area about
|
|
three feet from the ground. Your dog problems will disappear, as that would
|
|
make the animal stand at about four feet at the shoulder. Bow wow OW!
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
There's also this stuff you can put on your lawn that will make it rather
|
|
uncomfortable if it lays cable there, in fact the dog usually makes the
|
|
connection and doesn't shit there anymore.
|
|
|
|
Ed> Maybe this ain't revenge, but it's definitely a solution. Consult your
|
|
Ed> local pet store.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
If a dog poops on your yard, dress it up in a cute little doggie sweater.
|
|
One that covers its ass so it gets its own poop all over itself before it
|
|
goes home. No harm to the dog, but boy, won't the owners be eager to hug
|
|
and play with the little guy!
|
|
|
|
Ed> Or use a diaper!
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
After you have cleaned up the shit sprinkle heaps of black pepper over the
|
|
spot where the dog shit was. The next time fido comes by he will sniff
|
|
around and the pepper will drive him nuts.
|
|
|
|
Or if it is the same mutt and his owner that is causing all the trouble
|
|
collect all the dog shit, put it in a bag, follow them home and either throw
|
|
it all over their lawn or return it to the owner
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
If you have problems with a neighbour's dog coming into your yard, and the
|
|
owner turns a deaf ear. Take some ripe rancid fish, or meat and place it in
|
|
a mesh onion sack and stake it to the ground in your yard. The dog will roll
|
|
on and rub against the onion sack until they smell as bad as the fish. When
|
|
it returns to its owner's home, then owner will quickly decide to keep the
|
|
dog on his own property.
|
|
|
|
#057 FIBERGLASS IN THE CLOTHES. By Toby Lane.
|
|
|
|
Put a small piece of fiberglass in with their clothes when they're in the
|
|
spin dryer. It itches like hell and may give them a rash. Or try some
|
|
coloured wax crayons.
|
|
|
|
#058 THE ROOMMATE HAS A BORING GIRLFRIEND. By Martin Hannigan.
|
|
|
|
Be really nice to her. By her a small gift every now and then. Smile at her
|
|
a lot. Look at her tits as much as possible. Comment on her ass to her
|
|
boyfriend.
|
|
|
|
Piss in the hamper. Pray at the dinner table, or whenever they are around.
|
|
Fart in front of them.
|
|
|
|
#059 THE DORNMATE STEALS THE FOOD. By John Hein, Christopher G. Wakefield,
|
|
Mike Smith, Phinn, John Hein and Brian
|
|
Smith-White.
|
|
|
|
Another jolly scheme involves a frozen chicken, and a fridge that you know
|
|
will not be stolen from. Remove frozen chicken from secure fridge every
|
|
night and defrost it. In the morning, return it to the fridge to freeze. Do
|
|
this for a week, then put it into the fridge from which comestibles are
|
|
walking. A considerable case of food poisoning should result!
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Try fart powder available in magic shops.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
I found a pint-sized carton of chocolate milk and "ripened" it for a few
|
|
days by leaving it on top of the heater in my room. After a couple of weeks
|
|
I put it back in the dorm fridge. Mere hours later someone attempted to
|
|
drink it. Didn't lose any more food the rest of the quarter.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Bake any amount of chocolate flavored Ex-Lax into a recipe that normally has
|
|
chocolate. Also make sure to include the normal amount of chocolate. If
|
|
anyone asks just say they are "double chocolate" or some garble like that.
|
|
It's also good to disguise the flavor with additional chocolate. A really
|
|
nifty way of hiding it is "chocolate chip" brownies. Make the brownies as
|
|
you normally would but include chopped up Ex-Lax instead of the chocolate
|
|
chips.
|
|
|
|
You can also spoil yogurt, and hide the taste with fruit or whatever else
|
|
you want to add. Yogurt has an inherently sour tasting food anyway, so it's
|
|
easy to mask spoiling. This may cause several forms of stomach pain. Syrup
|
|
of Ipecac also mixes very well into yogurt. This substance is sold in very
|
|
small doses at your local drugstore. It induces vomiting instantly.
|
|
|
|
You could also bake "decoys". Substitute baking soda for sugar, or flower.
|
|
This makes for a reasonable looking, but thoroughly awful tasting
|
|
concoction. Best with yellow or light brown muffins.
|
|
|
|
Then there's the psychological terror you can invoke. After several cookies
|
|
or brownies have been stolen go to get one yourself and "find" a dead bug
|
|
in the box. Make several comments about laying eggs. This is usually best
|
|
when accompanied by one of the above tactics. It might make them wonder how
|
|
exactly they came to need to use the bathroom so frequently for whatever
|
|
reason.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
You could always try Antabuse in their food before they go out for a drink.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
It is expensive, but a motion-detector which sets off a loud, annoying noise
|
|
inside of a "lunch" container will get the culprit immediately after the
|
|
act. Place the prick-detector in a location where it will be visible to many
|
|
individuals over the entire course of the day.
|
|
|
|
#060 THE ROOMMATE. By Martin Hannigan, Nancy Passwater, Crystal V. Freitas,
|
|
Denise L Voskuil and Belina Jones.
|
|
|
|
Sneak into your roommate's wardrobe and cut every button of every single
|
|
item of clothing that he owns. Don't forget to hide the buttons.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Why not coat all of the clean dishes with that stuff people put on their
|
|
fingernails to keep from biting them? I used it once, it tastes repulsive.
|
|
I suggested he/she do this right before they pack up to leave after their
|
|
lease runs out.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
That stuff hardens like nail polish, so I'm not sure what it would do
|
|
on dishes. It might work if hot food is put on the plate. Then again, it
|
|
might flake off and be noticed before eating - though they'd still have a
|
|
hell of a time cleaning the dishes off.
|
|
|
|
One possibility is the "Bitter Apple/Lime/etc." sprays and pastes. It's a
|
|
non-harmful but bitter substance used to keep pets from chewing on things,
|
|
and comes in a pump spray [there's also a no-alcohol version for plant
|
|
leaves - I suspect the alcohol version may last longer] and a tube of paste.
|
|
You could spray it on their dishes, pour some into their juice, mix it into
|
|
their jelly/jam, and so on.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Place a Snickers bar, or one with chocolate and peanuts in their bed,
|
|
preferably while they're sleeping. The body heat will melt the candy bars
|
|
and the result will be chocolate and peanuts smeared all over the mark. It
|
|
will appear as though the subject had shit himself.
|
|
|
|
Remember to take the wrappers away and discard them where they aren't
|
|
obvious. Take pictures of the mark when they get out of bed if possible.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
What about some bleach in their liquid clothes detergent? Especially the
|
|
brand they use to do their coloured clothes in.
|
|
|
|
Comet with bleach, the cleanser, might make a good paste when mixed with
|
|
some water to replace the toothpaste with and I don't think there is any
|
|
long-lasting side affects as it is so kind to bathroom appliances. [Actually
|
|
I can swear to this -- I ate comet as a kid and I'm sort of all right.]
|
|
There are several bathroom cleansers that might mix well with toothpaste and
|
|
leave a bad tasting mouth and burning gums, or go into the conditioner.
|
|
|
|
Crazy glue in hair gel? Or bleach in any kind of spritzing hair spray - this
|
|
would be most interesting if they have dark hair, and you would be able to
|
|
see the effects quickly.
|
|
|
|
Brian Miller> I wouldn't recommend mixing Comet or any other cleaners with
|
|
Brian Miller> bleach. The combination can cause a chemical reaction that
|
|
Brian Miller> emits noxious fumes, proven to kill pranksters and marks!
|
|
|
|
#061 GROCERY STORES. By George 'Pinhead' Curtis, Richard R. Moore, The
|
|
Weekday Warrior and Roger Orton.
|
|
|
|
My boss and I had some trouble between us. So, one night I took a bottle of
|
|
bleach and unscrewed the cap, then I put it back on [it was still loose]. I
|
|
made a small puncture in the bottom of the bottle and left it sitting in the
|
|
top of a buggy.
|
|
|
|
Sure enough he comes along and sees it dripping on his freshed waxed floor.
|
|
He picks it up and turns it over at the same time. His pants are instantly
|
|
white-washed for free, courtesy of me.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
If you're working in a grocery store where you can make free calls for
|
|
deliveries, orders, etc. and you want some revenge on your boss. Try one of
|
|
those sex numbers. Put a tape on the hang-up so that when the boss picks it
|
|
up in a couple of hours he will have a $500.00 phone bill. You can also try
|
|
this, plus connecting the speaker to the loudspeakers in the store.
|
|
|
|
Go up to the deli and order about 3 pounds of fish. Just say it's for a
|
|
customer. Now when nobody's looking stick it way up a cash register or far
|
|
behind an aisle. In about 2 days the place will smell like somebody died.
|
|
If your store has radiators or heat sources, take a carton of cream and open
|
|
it up and put in the the radiator. It will smell like somebody shit and it
|
|
will blow it all over the store. This is really a great way of discouraging
|
|
customers.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Go to the grocery store on the first Saturday of the month, typically the
|
|
busiest day of the month, get a grocery cart and pick a customer that is
|
|
dressed in a manner that makes them look like a stereotypical shop-lifter.
|
|
Preferably one that is dressed a bit heavy for the weather. walk up to the
|
|
store manager in an excited manner and tell him " That man/woman just put 2
|
|
packages of steaks down his pants." This should lead to some interesting
|
|
events for the store.
|
|
|
|
Breed some maggots and drop them in their meat case just before closing and
|
|
call your local health department.
|
|
|
|
Find out information about the store such as names of the department
|
|
managers,store manager,store number, and address of the store. Then call
|
|
local meat distributors in the early afternoon, 2PM to 3PM, tell them you
|
|
are at store number XXX and need to come by and get a few cases of Ribeyes
|
|
( expensive ). If the distributor acts like he doesn't know what store it
|
|
is they probably don't have an account there so try another distributor.
|
|
Once you have a properly responsive person taking your order, go pick up
|
|
your Ribeyes and have a barbecue, inviting me of course :-). If you start
|
|
shopping there and get friendly with the right people you can ask which
|
|
local distributors they buy from. BTW what I have described here is very
|
|
common practice in meat departments and would not seem out of the ordinary
|
|
to a distributor so long as the store has an existing account.
|
|
|
|
You could also get a part-time job in the store. This should not be very
|
|
hard to do since turnover is very high in a grocery store. Find out where
|
|
the control panels are for the freezers and coolers and one day when you
|
|
are working until the store closes turn off the freezers and coolers. This
|
|
should cause a substantial loss for the store.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Is there a bagboy/-girl who needs a bit of vengeance? A harmless yet funny
|
|
trick is to make them go "shake the salad dressing." This works best on
|
|
newer employees. Make the story go "all oil dressings must be shook once a
|
|
week, so they will retain their flavor. Have the bagboy go and shake and
|
|
rotate all the bottles. Yours truly fell for this when I was a young and
|
|
ignorant sixteen year old. Sore arms will be included, and to watch this is
|
|
extremely funny.
|
|
|
|
Try to hide a rubber snake in the shrimp. When the clerk grabs a handful of
|
|
shrimp and pulls out the snake, it should generate a hearty bellow. This
|
|
worked in our store, luckily it was not me who was the mark.
|
|
|
|
Turning off the door opening sensors can create plenty of frustration
|
|
Usually the switch is on the sensor itself. As you pass through, reach up
|
|
and turn it off.
|
|
|
|
When I was a bagboy, I hated nothing more than idiots who would come in to
|
|
shop when it was raining. These bastards would have an umbrella, run to
|
|
their car, unlock the trunk, then jump in the car. I would get drenched
|
|
putting their groceries in the trunk, which infuriated me. Revenge? Simple!
|
|
If they do not tip you, you have the God given right to receive
|
|
reconciliation. Place their groceries in the trunk, and walk away, leaving
|
|
the trunk open! Everything gets soaked, plus, the idiot has to get out of
|
|
their car! This really pisses people off. My friend got fired for doing
|
|
this, but he says it was worth it.
|
|
|
|
#062 MISCELLANEOUS. By Tapas Pain, Lance Stahlberg and Digitar.
|
|
|
|
- Put oil slicks on their driveway [not big ones, just slightly behind the
|
|
tires of their pickups.]
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
- Take the guy's bed and put it out in either the study lounge, lobby, or
|
|
bathroom.. fully made of course.
|
|
- Shaving cream in his socks.
|
|
- Shaving cream at the foot of his bed.
|
|
- Icy-Hot in the jock strap.
|
|
- Replace his/her shampoo w/ maple syrup.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Before moving out of a really gross basement suite, known as THE SWAMP
|
|
because it was a fungusy, moldy mess, a friend of mine did the following:
|
|
|
|
- Broke all of the light-bulbs, even fridge and oven.
|
|
- Filled all the telephone jacks with mustard.
|
|
- Unscrewed the bottom hinges on all the cabinet doors [They kinda flopped
|
|
when opened.]
|
|
- Pulled out all switch/outlet plates and intercom cover and scattered them
|
|
randomly throughout the place.
|
|
- Filled the kitchen sink with kitty litter, and let the tap run a bit.
|
|
- Emptied out moldy contents of fridge into toilet tank.
|
|
- Poured the oil from one dirty deep fryer (2L) into the bathtub. Some of it
|
|
made it down the drain before solidifying.
|
|
- Left a Tortilla in the toilet bowl, sorta floating on the water, but kinda
|
|
wrapping up the sides of the bowl with a big smiley face rendered in
|
|
mustard on it.
|
|
- Left reason for leaving on a piece of cardboard that read "Had to go. Too
|
|
much mould. There was no cleaner for us."
|
|
|
|
#063 UNFAITHFUL WIFE. By Dave Bushong.
|
|
|
|
I know someone whose wife at the time was fooling around on him, but thought
|
|
no one knew. She used the tactic "best defense is a good offense", telling
|
|
people that the husband was actually sleeping around. So the guy laser-
|
|
prints up this survey form, and rents a PO Box, and mails her the survey
|
|
form. It says "this form is being sent to ten thousand random women who
|
|
subscribe to [some magazine that she gets]. You will remain anonymous, so
|
|
please be totally honest." In fact, this was the only copy of the survey,
|
|
but she was pretty stupid, and fell for it.
|
|
|
|
It was a survey about marital fidelity, and asked questions like "How many
|
|
men other than your husband have you had relations with," "How often were
|
|
you unfaithful," and stuff like that. Anyway, she answered honestly, and
|
|
mailed the form back to the PO Box.
|
|
|
|
This piece of paper came in really handy when they were discussing the terms
|
|
of their divorce.
|
|
|
|
#064 DESTROYING A RELATIONSHIP. By Ed Butler, Warren Savage and Toby Lane.
|
|
|
|
Ed> It helps if the relationship is already wiggling.
|
|
|
|
Get a girl to call up looking for this guy when the wife is home. When the
|
|
wife says "He's not here, can I take a message?" get the girl to hang up.
|
|
The younger and more nervous the girl sounds, the better this works.
|
|
|
|
Leave used condoms in his car, his briefcase, the pockets of his coats,
|
|
anywhere his wife is likely to find them. Get the wife paranoid. If she is
|
|
looking for something, she'll find out what what's happening eventually.
|
|
When that happens, you might encourage her by posting here every newspaper
|
|
and magazine clipping on Lorena Bobbit you can find, you never know your
|
|
luck.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Get a condom packet, and put it were the mark will not find it, but where
|
|
the significant-other will. The SO will either confront the mark who will
|
|
of course deny all knowledge and not be believed, or not confront the mark
|
|
but assume they have been unfaithful and give them the cold shoulder.
|
|
|
|
This could work in almost all relationships. As a matter of fact you could
|
|
leave a used condom in some findable hiding spot and it would be even
|
|
better. If the mark finds it he would probably assume the significant other
|
|
was screwing around.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Buy some raunchy, sleazy sex toys. You know, realistic dildoes, artificial
|
|
vaginas, butt plugs, whatever. Wrap them up in traditional christmas wrap,
|
|
with <From [2nd mark] To [Junior/Sis]> and <Do Not Open Until December 25th>
|
|
labels. Time the packages to arrive as close to Christmas as possible. You
|
|
want Junior and Sis to open these packages and examine the contents. You
|
|
want Mr. Manager and spouse to hurriedly take the neat toys away from Junior
|
|
and Sis. You want Mr. Manager to mistrust Mr. Mark.
|
|
|
|
#065 EMAIL FORGERY. By The Last Viking.
|
|
|
|
Ed> There are many WWW to mail gateways, and many of them has anonymous
|
|
Ed> features. They are safer than doing this email forgery. This is for
|
|
Ed> educational purpose only.
|
|
|
|
Telnet to port 25 of your local machine. Try:
|
|
|
|
telnet [host] 25
|
|
|
|
And then type help. It should show you something like:
|
|
214-Commands:
|
|
214- HELO MAIL RCPT DATA RSET
|
|
214- NOOP QUIT HELP VRFY EXPN
|
|
214-For more info use "HELP <topic>".
|
|
214-smtp
|
|
214-To report bugs in the implementation contact Sun Microsystems
|
|
214-Technical Support.
|
|
214-For local information contact postmaster at this site.
|
|
214 End of HELP info
|
|
|
|
From there you type:
|
|
mail from: root[return] - or you can use a fake address or whatever.
|
|
rcpt to: [email address of your mark] [return]
|
|
data[return]
|
|
|
|
And then type what ever you want sent from root at your site to him, and end
|
|
it with a "." on a line by it's self. And then type quit.
|
|
|
|
And you have just done a very basic forging of mail from your administrator
|
|
to him. WARNING: I believe doing this is illegal in the US, I'm not sure
|
|
about other countries, though.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
If you write HELO [email address] then you can forge something from
|
|
wherever you want.. Eg. helo president@whitehouse.gov, you could also
|
|
use their host. The path would look more believable then.
|
|
|
|
WARNING!! This is strictly illegal. If your mark ask your sysadmin, and
|
|
he starts to look into it, then you're going to be discovered for sure.
|
|
Everything what you do on your system is probably audit filed, iow, they
|
|
can trace back and see who did it. Even if you telnet to a foreign host,
|
|
they will be able to trace it. Althou' they then have to do it through
|
|
those foreign sysadms. Be careful, people has lost their account on less
|
|
than this.
|
|
|
|
WARNING! Read the alt.revenge FAQ before you do anything stupid on Inet.
|
|
|
|
#066 CONTACT ON INTERNET. By The Last Viking.
|
|
|
|
The general idea here is to post an article in a contact group, telling
|
|
readers to contact your mark. First of all, you have to have an anonymous
|
|
account. anon.penet.fi is currently the most used one. To get information on
|
|
how to use it, email help@anon.penet.fi, in a while you will get a response
|
|
with a script that contains information on how to use the system. The system
|
|
is very slow, so you might have to wait a while. Try also email to
|
|
ping@anon.penet.fi, just to confirm your anon number. It might take some
|
|
hours to process, but it works.
|
|
|
|
You will then have an account number, this number represents your ID. Read
|
|
the info on how to work the anon account, and post your article.
|
|
|
|
It can be like: "lonely guy 25 year, blond, 6'5" tall, looking for men to
|
|
bond with, call me at [the guy's phone no.]", or it could be like "I want
|
|
girls for hot phone sex, call..", or "Call my new BBS for hot software
|
|
[phone no.]"
|
|
|
|
Post to groups like: alt.sex,alt.sex.wanted,alt.personals or groups like
|
|
alt.amiga.software,alt.pc.software,alt.bbs, or groups like alt.market,
|
|
alt.forsale, or groups like alt.fan.[name of a music group.]
|
|
|
|
#067 NEWS FORGERY. By The Last Viking.
|
|
|
|
Ed> There are many WWW to news gateways, and many of them has anonymous
|
|
Ed> features. They are safer than doing this NNTP forgery. This is for
|
|
Ed> educational purpose only.
|
|
|
|
There are many ways to forge news-articles, one that is easy is to telnet to
|
|
port 119 and talk directly to the news-server.
|
|
|
|
My news-server is called news.uit.no, so when I want to access it directly,
|
|
I'll have to write:
|
|
|
|
telnet news.uit.no 119
|
|
|
|
I will then be communicating directly with my news-server. If I write 'help'
|
|
then I will get a list of all the commands that I can use. 'post' is the
|
|
command I must use to send a news-article. The great thing about talking
|
|
directly to the news-server is that you specify what your news-agent usually
|
|
specifies.
|
|
|
|
First you have to construct the header, it may look like this:
|
|
|
|
Path: midgaard!valhall!odinserv1!eric
|
|
Newsgroups: alt.test
|
|
Distribution: world
|
|
Followup-To:
|
|
From: odin@valhall.no (Berserking Viking)
|
|
Sender: odin@valhall.no (Berserking Viking)
|
|
Organization: Viking Haircutters.
|
|
Subject: This is a test
|
|
Message-ID: <24Dec00fo@midgaard.no>
|
|
|
|
There is no line-feed at the top, and I just used this header to show you
|
|
how it can be done. After you have written this, then you can start writing
|
|
your article. The stop by writing a "." character on a line for itself [same
|
|
as email forging.] Now just write quit to exit the server. The
|
|
article will be posted when you have written the "."
|
|
|
|
The most important line in the header is the Message-ID line. The ID in
|
|
front of the address must be unique. If it isn't, then everything will hang
|
|
or cause failure. I suggest you use a date with some random number.
|
|
|
|
On most NNTP-servers there are limited access. IOW, you can't use other than
|
|
your own news-server. It would be hopeless for you to try to telnet into
|
|
ours if you are not at Uit. There are some public NNTP servers around in
|
|
eg. Finland and Germany. You might want to try those. It is easier to trace
|
|
the article back to you if you sent it from your own server.
|
|
|
|
WARNING! To forge news-articles are illegal. Especially if you are using
|
|
someone elses' name/ID. Everything you do on the UNIX system is most likely
|
|
audit filed, that means that your sysop can trace back and check what you
|
|
have done on the news-server. If you have done something illegal you are
|
|
most likely to loose your account.
|
|
|
|
How it can be used - a while ago, some guy set me in a alt.test trap. So,
|
|
what I did to revenge this was to enter a foreign NNTP server and then
|
|
forge a news-article from him to alt.test, misc.test and some other test
|
|
groups. His mailbox got full of test articles and he wasn't able to trace it
|
|
back to me. He is a bud, so I told him. If he weren't a bud he could have
|
|
told the sysop then I would be in deep shit. That was just a warning of how
|
|
things might end...
|
|
|
|
BTW, if you just want to change your online-name, try writing 'chfn' from
|
|
the UNIX prompt. Some system has limited access on that command, but it is
|
|
worth a try.
|
|
|
|
WARNING! Read the alt.revenge FAQ before you do anything stupid on Inet.
|
|
|
|
#068 EMAIL FLOOD. By The Last Viking.
|
|
|
|
I just got a cool idea for email flood, just forge an email from a person
|
|
account to a mailing-list telling them that you are interested in
|
|
participating. After a while his mailbox will be full of waste and some of
|
|
those lists are a bit hard to unsubscribe as he would have to search through
|
|
some documentation first and that's work. Remember that this will most
|
|
likely be traced. If you want to use a script for mail-bombing then take a
|
|
look at the Avenger's Front Page.
|
|
|
|
as for how to forge an email, see 065.
|
|
|
|
#069 EXAM DISTRACTION. By Mark.
|
|
|
|
On exam days, they lengthen the periods from 50 minutes to 2 hours, and you
|
|
are absolutely not allowed to go to the bathroom during class on those days.
|
|
So, naturally the to pull is to slip copious amounts of Ex-Lax into your
|
|
mark's drink while he's not looking. Needless to say, he'll be a little
|
|
"distracted" come test time.
|
|
|
|
#070 NOISY APARTMENT NEIGHBOURS. By Mark Landers, Flightline and Genghis
|
|
Floyd.
|
|
|
|
Get a cheap plug-in radio and a large cardboard box. Open one end of the
|
|
box, put the radio in and tape the open end firmly against the wall next to
|
|
their bedroom. Keep the box off the floor [no reason to disturb the people
|
|
downstairs.] Tune the radio to a station with lots of percussion music,
|
|
country-western is great. The radio doesn't have to be very loud, the box
|
|
acts as an acoustic coupler to the wall. The bigger the box the better.
|
|
|
|
Turn the radio on when you get up. Off when you go to sleep. Do this every
|
|
day. If anybody asks why just say you're afraid of burglars.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
A friend of mine used to live above some obnoxious noisy neighbours. His
|
|
solution was to obtain a rather large bowling ball and hold it up in the air
|
|
and drop it at random intervals throughout the day. Needless to say the
|
|
neighbours soon stopped.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
A variation on the above, is A 50lb weightlifting plate. Take the plate and
|
|
spin it on the floor like you would a quarter on the tabletop. Makes a sound
|
|
akin to a freight train. As an added bonus, when its just about to settle
|
|
down flat, jump on it!
|
|
|
|
#071 BAD SERVICE AT RESTAURANTS. By Der Jeff and The Last Viking.
|
|
|
|
If McDonald's, Wendy's, BK or some other fastfood restaurant has annoyed you
|
|
in some way, return there at night with a bullhorn/megaphone and crouch down
|
|
outside in the bushes behind the talk-box in the drive-thru lane. When
|
|
someone pulls up to place their order, be as rude as possible while
|
|
impersonating the clerk [shout profanities, scream, burp etc.] This will
|
|
hurt the restaurant's business as well as lead to numerous complaints from
|
|
unsuspecting customers.
|
|
|
|
Write a letter to the shop's manager, saying that you were in the drive-thru
|
|
on that particular night and were subjected to this verbal abuse, and "as a
|
|
frequent customer, I no longer feel welcome." This might lead to the manager
|
|
sending you some coupons for free food.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Flashing! Yeah, you heard right. Some people here got slightly irritated by
|
|
the service on one of our restaurant. The next day they drove up to the
|
|
window of the restaurant, and one of the guys stuck his bare ass out of the
|
|
car-window. The restaurant got curtains up in the windows the next day. I
|
|
guess they'd gotten some complaints about this incident?
|
|
|
|
#072 FARM MANURE. By David Morning.
|
|
|
|
A secretary I knew was harassed out of her job by a new boss who had a habit
|
|
of groping her. She waited until her boss was going on holiday, handed in
|
|
her notice to quit and ordered 30 tons of farm manure for his front lawn.
|
|
Boss returned from holiday to find stinking mountain of two week old farm
|
|
manure burying his entire garden and a demand for payment for said manure.
|
|
|
|
In the UK, lots of companies who sell double glazing, fitted kitchens,
|
|
bathrooms, bedrooms etc offer a free home visit and quote service. It
|
|
usually involves a torturous two hour hard sell grilling. Just phone lots of
|
|
them sending them to your mark.
|
|
|
|
Ed> I am not sure how this will work, maybe the company wants a signature.
|
|
Ed> But then again, you might be able to pull it off.
|
|
|
|
#073 AT A PUBLIC LAUNDRY STORE. By Stephen Boursy.
|
|
|
|
Fill up all free washers with loads of detergent, remember the old 'I Love
|
|
Lucy' show when she was overcome by foam from her washer. You could also
|
|
pour in substance like heavy grease or paint, etc. that would cause
|
|
permanent damage although I don't know if the situation warrants it. Poke
|
|
holes in the rubber pipes leading to the washers - little ones at first and
|
|
then make them progressively bigger over time.
|
|
|
|
The other suggestion is to jam the coin insert part of the machine with
|
|
bented coins, or foreign objects. This can take a very long time to fix and
|
|
results in a lot of lost business and frustration.
|
|
|
|
#074 SCREWING UP A CD. By Stephen J. Weil.
|
|
|
|
If you want to screw up a CD without just smashing it, then try just put it
|
|
into the microwave. About 4-5 seconds should do the trick. It looks kind of
|
|
neat too.
|
|
|
|
#075 PLASTIC CUPS ON THE FLOOR. By Werther.
|
|
|
|
Pick a time when you know the mark is away from his room. Get a few hundred
|
|
plastic cups and fill them up with water. Using a plastic card or a keypick,
|
|
get into his room and place the cups one-by-one to cover the entire floor
|
|
in his room. Spray some shaving cream for sophistication and leave quietly.
|
|
|
|
Ed> This is kind of like a prank, but well, oh..
|
|
|
|
#076 TO KILL A TREE. By Harry Conwi and Michael P. Johnson.
|
|
|
|
Fill a bucket or two with hot water and dissolve a few bags of salt in it.
|
|
Pour it at the base of the tree. Depending on the tree's strength, you may
|
|
have to do this a few times. But it'll drive them nuts trying to figure out
|
|
why this tree is slowly dying.
|
|
|
|
A more obvious method is to strip about six inches of bark from a round the
|
|
tree. This prevents either the nutrients produced by the leaves from getting
|
|
to the roots for storage or vice versa. But it works and it works fast.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
A much more effective way to dispose of an annoying neighbour's tree is to
|
|
get some copper tacks, or nails and put them in the roots. Clip the heads
|
|
off, so they will be inconspicuous.
|
|
|
|
#077 MACINTOSH. By OJ and CyberKnight.
|
|
|
|
Does your mark have a Macintosh computer? If he has system 7.5 then he
|
|
probably has a program called "Shut Down" in the Apple menu items folder.
|
|
Put that in the startup items folder and the computer will shut down every
|
|
time he try to start it up.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Record a .snd file on your Mac. Something obscene and masturbatus. Save it
|
|
on her computer as her alert sound.
|
|
|
|
#078 TOWING CARS. By Prime Risk.
|
|
|
|
Tired of some jerk parking in your reserved space at work or apartment/
|
|
townhome? Try this one. Get a valve stem key [check your local discount
|
|
store's automotive or bicycle department], loosen the valve stems a little
|
|
to flatten the tires. Here's the trick, spread some finely broken glass near
|
|
the tires in your parking spot. Now you can call the manager or towing
|
|
company to have the car removed. If the mark returns before the tow truck
|
|
gets there they will suppose they got flats from the glass they must have
|
|
ran over. Remember to flatten at least two tires, most people have one
|
|
spare, but few have two.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Have them towed out of their own spot! Call the towing company at 3 AM and
|
|
act like an extremely tired property manager with an angry tenant yelling in
|
|
the background. Ask them to just take care of it and you'll come down to
|
|
their office and fill out any paperwork in the morning. They'll probably ask
|
|
for a no. to call you back at, give them a pay phone number and wait for a
|
|
bit. If they don't go for the call back stuff, and you really have balls, go
|
|
meet the towing company at the spot and sign the owner's name.
|
|
|
|
#079 EMAIL BOMBING. By The Last Viking.
|
|
|
|
An easy way to create an "email-bomb" is to alter your ".forward" file [on a
|
|
UNIX system account] to forward a copy of the received mail to your mark,
|
|
and to yourself again. This can simply be done by making a ".forward" file
|
|
that contains the following text: [your mark's email address], [your email
|
|
address.] This loop will run until you change or remove the ".forward" file.
|
|
|
|
WARNING! Read the alt.revenge FAQ before you do anything stupid on Inet.
|
|
|
|
#080 SEX MAGAZINES. By Alistair MacGuines and Dillotex.
|
|
|
|
Go to a kinko's copies etc. - any one of them that has a label printer, and
|
|
who have this doc's office name, address, zip, etc ["borrow" one of the
|
|
waiting-room mags and copy label on back] get a few labels printed out. Then
|
|
go to your friendly neighbourhood sex shop and buy the same number of mags
|
|
"kinky letters"/etc. [nastier the better] put the labels on the sex mags,
|
|
and go to the waiting room, grab a couple mags, and when you put them back,
|
|
make sure to put the sex mags under the pile.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
I had a bitch teacher, and my friend and I collaborated on a pornographic
|
|
comic strip we called "Peter Penis, Master Detective". The first one was
|
|
called "The case of the missing Coke bottles." We'd leave it laying on her
|
|
desk when no-one was looking. It drove her absolutely bat-shit trying to
|
|
figure out who was doing it.
|
|
|
|
#081 TROUBLESOME SISTER. By Deacon, Digitar, Alabama Boo and Robert Goodwin.
|
|
|
|
Put a letter in your room saying she/he was adopted. Find the name and
|
|
address of an adoption agency. Make the letter formal and put something in
|
|
their saying,
|
|
|
|
Dear (Name of mother and Father),
|
|
It has come to our attention that your adopted daughter's
|
|
biological mother has a tragic case of (whatever) which was not discovered
|
|
until this date. etc,.
|
|
|
|
Put it in your room and then see what happens.
|
|
NOTE: I don't mean anything against anyone who is adopted.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
When you come home, one thing you can do while she's out of the house for
|
|
a while, is to turn everything around. That is, everything that faces the
|
|
wall will face the other way. Tack some of the stuff to the ceiling. Take
|
|
her drawers of stuff, and mix them around. Take her clothes, and make it
|
|
look like she's running away from home, and tell your mom and dad about
|
|
it. Put her prized possessions somewhere else, and claim that you have
|
|
the feeling that she's going to commit suicide.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
If she is young, her acceptance with her peers is of prime importance. Do
|
|
something to embarrass her in front of her friends. Ruin her reputation,
|
|
like running around the cafeteria at her school asking for he because "she
|
|
forgot to take her lunch today". Dress geeky. Smell. Make sure it's a large
|
|
paper grocery bag with her name written (first and last) on the side. Ask as
|
|
many random people as possible. She'll choke.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
You could just try leaving an EPT pregnancy test just lying around if you
|
|
want to play with her mom's mind.
|
|
|
|
#082 BLOCKING A DOOR WITH COINS. By Kenneth Mayer.
|
|
|
|
Push on the top of the door and insert a stack [usually 2 or 3 is enough] of
|
|
coins between the door and the jamb stop. Now push a bit harder on the
|
|
bottom of the door and insert a stack of coins between the door and the jam
|
|
stop at the bottom. This actually bends the door and puts an incredible
|
|
amount of pressure on the latch. It is impossible to turn the knob to open
|
|
the door.
|
|
|
|
If you happen to be the mark and want to escape, you need to apply some
|
|
torque to the doorknob and kick the door near the latch very hard. This
|
|
momentarily flexes the door and relieves the pressure on the latch, allowing
|
|
it to move.
|
|
|
|
This scheme works best with solid-core wooden doors and steel jambs, which
|
|
are commonly used in college dormitories.
|
|
|
|
#083 A TOOTHBRUSH UP THE ASS. By William Barker.
|
|
|
|
Someone came into their hotel room while they were gone and got some serious
|
|
non-destructive revenge. They didn't know it until they got home and
|
|
developed their film. Among their lovely pictures of sunsets and palm trees
|
|
was one with a close-up of two big hairy asses [balls a dangling.] No big
|
|
deal, you might say. However, the kicker was that sticking out of the
|
|
assholes were the handles of each of their toothbrushes!
|
|
|
|
#084 CRICKETS. By ROCO1
|
|
|
|
My favorite office revenge is releasing a bag of crickets late in the
|
|
afternoon. Crickets are cheap and readily available at your local petshop.
|
|
When released, they happily assist you by seeking dark hiding locations.
|
|
About an hour later, they express their gratitude for being saved from some
|
|
pet snake by performing a cricket symphony.
|
|
|
|
#085 DONATIONS. By ROCO1.
|
|
|
|
Pledge money under the mark's name and business to every charity, religious
|
|
group, and political action possible. Examples are the United Way,
|
|
Girl-scouts, Jerry Lewis's favorite, NRA, Republican and Democratic parties,
|
|
and every Sunday morning preacher. All the above will then harass him for
|
|
payment. He will fell like a real loser when he refuses to pay.
|
|
|
|
If your mark wants to spend some bucks, have company Tee-shirts made up with
|
|
a bogus logo and his office telephone number. Send them as a donation to a
|
|
local homeless shelter under his name. Real funny when winos lay wasted on
|
|
the side walk his these shirts.
|
|
|
|
#086 SNOTTY WOMEN. By Dillotex.
|
|
|
|
Another friend sent a letter to a snotty women's parents which was actually
|
|
a model's release form asking the parents to sign the release for the
|
|
lingerie photos she modeled for you.
|
|
|
|
Of course the old reliable: Get (fake) an envelope and letterhead from a
|
|
local clinic and send her parents a letter letting her know that the a)
|
|
pregnancy, b)AIDS, c)VD, etc tests turned out negative [or positive if you
|
|
really want to do a trip on her.]
|
|
|
|
Variation: call and tell her mother/father that in order to comply with the
|
|
new state law, you must notify them of their daughter's intention to get an
|
|
abortion. Could they please come down to the XXXXX clinic and sign some
|
|
forms?
|
|
|
|
#087 X-RAYS AT AIRPORTS. By Rob Verzera.
|
|
|
|
Ed> The author of this article heard this on a late night show. I would
|
|
Ed> think that most people check their luggage before they leave town, still
|
|
Ed> this one didn't.
|
|
|
|
This guy caught his girlfriend in bed w/ another guy one day. He then went
|
|
to an adult-store and bought a huge dildo. After that he went home and
|
|
wrapped it about 2 roles of aluminum foil until it was the size of a brick.
|
|
He then took some black tape and put some tape around it. He had the key to
|
|
her apartment so one day before she was going on a trip he snuck into he
|
|
house and buried it in her carry on bag. He went down to that airport the
|
|
next day to watch the fun.
|
|
|
|
The suitcase went through the X-ray and was stopped. All sorts of guards
|
|
were called over to look at the package they then made her open the suitcase
|
|
and take out the foil brick. Some big Sargent guy came over and started
|
|
unwrapping the thing until her found the dildo. I guess they gave it back to
|
|
her and let her go back on her way.
|
|
|
|
#088 REVENGE ON A TEACHER. By Scott Little.
|
|
|
|
Go to her homeroom class and put something embarrassing in her desk [think
|
|
about it - we once put a condom on a teachers desk, blown up. Be a bit more
|
|
severe.] When the teachers change, the new teacher will come in and most
|
|
likely find the "object."
|
|
|
|
#089 JELLO. By ROCO1.
|
|
|
|
For schools located in cooler climates this trick works wonders. Boil some
|
|
Jello, let cool but not solidify, pour on any tile [bathroom, doomroom
|
|
floor] at night. Morning result - thin layer of Jello very difficult to
|
|
remove even with a scraper.
|
|
|
|
#090 THE DOLLAR BILL. By BrianN3UKG.
|
|
|
|
One thing that I have done, that gets a heterosexual friend good, is to take
|
|
dollar bills and write a little message along the edge. I wrote a message
|
|
that said "Men seeking men call Joe Daniels at (301) 428-3547". I tried this
|
|
one mark, and it is great to hear him talk about the faggit that called him
|
|
last night and wonder how he got his number.
|
|
|
|
#091 BLUE PLATE SPECIAL. By Richard Snow.
|
|
|
|
Load a paper plate with cottage cheese or another milk product that spoils
|
|
nicely. Put another paper plate on top of it and seal-tape them well. Now,
|
|
take the plates and hide them a place where your mark won't find them until
|
|
a long time has gone, by then it will be all molded and disgusting.
|
|
|
|
#092 CALL GIRL CARPET BOMB. By Patrick Jost.
|
|
|
|
This technique is a courtesy of a guy I met at a tireshop. Most large cities
|
|
have a paper that has a section called something like "adult services" which
|
|
is nothing more than ads for prostitutes; if you can't find this paper, look
|
|
in the yellow pages under massage or escort. Most of them use answering
|
|
services, voice-mail, or beepers.
|
|
|
|
Call a few of them, leave the name and ph.no of someone you want to mess
|
|
with. This works best if someone else might answer the phone, but it also
|
|
works well enough if the person answers their own phone. In any case,
|
|
they'll start to get some interesting calls. To really make this effective,
|
|
you need to call enough of them to make sure that your victim gets lots of
|
|
calls.
|
|
|
|
When this was done at the tire shop...sure enough, the phone would ring,
|
|
they would shout "Hey, Phil, a call on the main line"; Phil [or whatever his
|
|
name was] would come out to the counter and say "huh? what? me? no, uh, I
|
|
didn't...wow, no, sorry" and hang up. He got a few of these calls, I'm sure
|
|
he wondered what was going on.
|
|
|
|
#093 PRANK CALLERS. By Richard Payne, Dan Sutton, Israel Silverman and
|
|
James Martin.
|
|
|
|
When we had a bunch of kids calling and hanging up, making stupid noises,
|
|
etc., etc. always around the same time after school got out, it usually was
|
|
the same time my 2 year-old went for a nap. Of course the calls woke her up.
|
|
It wasn't my house so I was limited to what I could do about it. Amongst the
|
|
piles of toys I spotted a whistle. Just a regular, plastic, cheap-o one.
|
|
Hmmm, I thought. Considering my daughter was up anyway, I waited for the
|
|
next call. It came and so did the crap on the other end. I took a deep
|
|
breath, and blew until all the air in my lungs was gone. Then I listened, I
|
|
swear I could hear them shaking their heads on the other end.
|
|
|
|
Later there was this woman who'd gotten our number on her phone bill for
|
|
about 25 calls, she called me, and I explained the prank calls to her; she
|
|
was pissed.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
One night a few years ago I had a couple of teenagers calling repeatedly.
|
|
When they called at about 11:00 PM and started their speil, I said. "Hold on
|
|
a second. I have a caller ID hooked into my computer, and now I know where
|
|
you are calling from. So you had better run to all your doors and lock them.
|
|
Then you better turn on all your lights, and by the way stay away from the
|
|
windows because I am coming over there tonight." The next morning they
|
|
called me back and apologized !
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
One thing to do is talk softly for a few seconds, so that he cups the phone
|
|
in his ear. Then blast.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
Tape a very long boring musical piece onto your answering machine tape, the
|
|
jerk will get so bored listening to the Muzak, that he will just hang up,
|
|
but be sure it is boring, if it is something even remotely interesting, then
|
|
he may stay on the line to listen. If you don't have any long boring Muzak.
|
|
Tape some white noise off the TV or static off of the radio.
|
|
|
|
#094 THE BANK BOX. By The Cheshire Cat.
|
|
|
|
My personal favorite is to get a safe deposit box at the branch of the bank
|
|
that fucked you over [which is pretty much ANY bank in the world. It's how
|
|
they make their money, but that's another story.] Anyways, get the box, a
|
|
small one will do and put several fish in it, then walk away.
|
|
|
|
After a few days, you can imagine what that place will smell like. Of
|
|
course, the bank will have your name and number and beg you to remove it.
|
|
Remind them of the cash that was stolen and try to negotiate with them.
|
|
|
|
Eventually, they can open the box without your permission, but it takes a
|
|
while.
|
|
|
|
Ed> The situation above were that the bank had stolen money from the one
|
|
Ed> seeking revenge.
|
|
|
|
#095 SPAM. By The Last Viking, Michael Lamb and Stuart.
|
|
|
|
There are many ways to fight spammers, but many of them are unfortunately
|
|
not much effective as these messages are constantly being sent from
|
|
different people/organizations.
|
|
|
|
Things you can do, such as mail-bombs, threats, bounche reply (empty reply,
|
|
or just send their letter back) might work if the originator isn't using a
|
|
forged address, or if he hasn't "lost" his account. The spammer would in any
|
|
way, have to give you a telephone number, web-url, etc,. for you to purchase
|
|
his product. Use this as a link to reach the spammer, and if you have to,
|
|
take the revenge into the real world.
|
|
|
|
When the spam is being sent to a Usenet group, you should either cancel the
|
|
article (if you know how to do that), and/or commence revenge through email,
|
|
telephone, etc,.
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
As I received this crap in my mailbox today. I took their 800 number and
|
|
made out your own phone sex spam, and send it to the alt.sex.* groups.
|
|
|
|
"HOT SEX TALK, ABSOLUTELY FREE, NO HIDDEN CHARGES, NO 900 NUMBER CALL-BACK,
|
|
NO CREDIT CARDS REQUIRED - CALL (1-800-351-8085) AND TALK TO A WET AND HORNY
|
|
BABE!"
|
|
|
|
--
|
|
|
|
I usually send the following to the poster, the three addresses below and
|
|
the posters sysadmin, including original message and attachments. Apologies
|
|
are forthcoming within days, which evidently are a requirement to avoid
|
|
prosecution from the agencies below. The 1040 address keeps coming back
|
|
failed mail, but the other two get through:
|
|
|
|
"You have posted an illegal pyramid scheme and/or chain letter on the
|
|
usenet.
|
|
|
|
Your post has been forwarded to:
|
|
- Bureau of Consumer Protection (bbroder@ftc.gov)
|
|
- Fraud Dept. of IRS (1040fraud@irs.gov)
|
|
- National Fraud Information Center (nfic@internetmci.com)
|
|
|
|
These agencies are interested in unreported taxable income and fraud in
|
|
general. In your posting you claimed large incomes - this will be of
|
|
interest to the IRS - you can look forward to an audit!
|
|
|
|
Your postmaster has also been notified of your illegal actions - you can
|
|
probably look forward to having your account closed."
|
|
|
|
#096 WRECKING UP A COMPUTER ACCOUNT. By The Last Viking.
|
|
|
|
If your mark has forgot to logout, or if you have the password to his
|
|
Internet account, then you have a lot of things you can do to wreck havoc.
|
|
|
|
You may start of by uploading illegal software to any public-domain FTP
|
|
site. If you can find a FTP site held by a software company, then that's
|
|
awesome. The sysop of the site will start looking into it when he realizes
|
|
that the uploaded software is pirated.
|
|
|
|
Post many news articles to newsgroups like alt.test,mist.test etc. The mark
|
|
will get auto replies from the servers that has these groups in the coming
|
|
days. Crosspost articles to other articles as well. If you do not know what
|
|
to write, just type "meow" or something - that's not popular.
|
|
|
|
Post an article to rec.pets.cats, telling them how much you enjoy to drive
|
|
over cats. Also post insulting articles to similar groups, like
|
|
talk.environment and such. If this is going to have an effect, then the
|
|
groups you are posting to must be only the serious ones. You can also post
|
|
GIF/JPG pictures to serious newsgroups. Crosspost on many different
|
|
newsgroups, and post pictures that are big and needs to be posted in many
|
|
parts. Be obnoxious, or post radical meaning [support of child abuse etc.]
|
|
or you can simply offer people green cards or another product. You can also
|
|
use the Greek program that can be found on TAFP.
|
|
|
|
Email his sysadm, tell him that e.g. you're ending your studies and that you
|
|
don't need the account anymore. If he's on AOL or NetCom, tell the adm. that
|
|
you're selling your PC or changing provider.
|
|
|
|
If you have any hacker-scripts/programs, then use them. Try to break in
|
|
somewhere or run programs like Cracker on the user's system.
|
|
|
|
Send threatening email to other users. Tell them you're going to kill them,
|
|
or that you are dreaming of doing so. Maybe you can find a secondary mark
|
|
that you've wanted to get revenge on for a long time. I would not advice
|
|
sending one to the president of US, but I know your mark would be in deep
|
|
shit if you did.
|
|
|
|
Overwrite the quota on the account. Then write chmod -R 000 * [makes
|
|
everything write and read protected.] To flood the account, you can either
|
|
download stuff from a FTP site or you can use the disc-eater program found
|
|
on TAFP. Yes, I am talking UNIX accounts here.
|
|
|
|
Flood a mailinglist or subscribe to one. The mark will then have to search
|
|
through documentation to find how to unsubscribe. If you flood a
|
|
mailinglist, then I can guarantee there will be trouble.
|
|
|
|
Just remember one thing - if you're gonna do any of this, then I advice you
|
|
to not telnet to the account from your own account. If you do have to telnet
|
|
to the account, I suggest you find an open telnet terminal [often there are
|
|
terminals with telnet access where you can telnet out without writing your
|
|
own password and username.] I advice you to be careful about using modem to
|
|
logon to the account. The best thing is if you can logon to a terminal at
|
|
school, then play for a while, then get the hell out of there.
|
|
|
|
Pretend that you're offering to sell e.g., child-porn or any other unpopular
|
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item. Find a secondary mark, write his real address and post to news or use
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a robot to pick email addresses from news.
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Another way is to enter, in the .forward file. Your email address and one of
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a secondary mark. Like:
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[your email address], [your providers email address]
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WARNING! Read the alt.revenge FAQ before you do anything stupid on Inet.
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#097 TELEMARKETEERS. By Tmel, Kellie, The Last Viking, Michael P. Johnson,
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The Green Jesus and Iollus.
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Once I just started asking all kinds of dumb questions about the product
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like as if I was really uneducated. It took about nine minutes before they
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gave up, they really hung up on me!! I used the *69 call back thing, and
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demand to talk to the manager. When I got the manager on the line, I started
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bitching about the "rude treatment" I had received. The callback cost me
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about 75 cents, but it was well worth it hearing the manager get mad.
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--
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When the telemarketeer is a woman, I tend to ask her to describe her
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panties, if she masturbates and if she enjoy anal sex, etc. They usually
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tell me that I'm sick then hang-up, but I've actually had a couple of ladies
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who were happy to answer my questions.
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Sometimes telemarketeers may ask for "the lady of the house". When they do,
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I begin to sob as I explain that she was killed in an automobile accident
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the preceeding day, and I ask if this is some sort of sick joke. It is great
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fun to listen to their reaction.
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Occasionally I might ask the telemarketer if they are really so pathetically
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ignorant that the only job they can get is harassing people on the telephone
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for sub-human wages.
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--
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Telemarketeers, is there any creature on earth who're more annoying? [Ed>
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Well, I am one..] - Well, there're always good ploys on how to meet them.
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Talking first very silently, then yell out is a popular method to meet
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telephone terrorists. A different approach is bubbletalking with them
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[pretend you're drunk or something]. Or one can simply end the conversation
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fast by saying, "Oh, fooled you. This is [your]'s answering machine, leave a
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message after the beep." or something.
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--
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Tell them you are very interested in their offer, But that you are very busy
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at the moment. Ask for their home number, and tell them you will call them
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there later. When they say ''No, sorry blahblahblah'' Then say to them
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sternly "OH, so you don't want anyone bothering you at home huh?" and hang
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up.
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Tell them "Hold on. I am going to get the cordless phone, so I can continue
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this conversation while I use the restroom." Pause for a second or two and
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then continue. If they didn't hang up, make grunting sounds plopping and
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make sure you flush the toilet a few times. If they don't hang up by now,
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make comments like "I don't remember eating corn?" and "can someone get me
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some toilet paper." If that doesn't get them, then tell them to call back
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later because the toilet overflowed and you need to clean it up.
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If you know you are being called by a scam telemarketer. Act all surprised
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and stuff. If they offer a trip to Florida, or to somewhere where there is a
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beach, ask them if they have wheelchair access to the beach. Tell them you
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are a homosexual and very publicly affectionate (if they are the same sex
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tell them they sound cute over the phone or something.) If the prize is
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money, tell them that you are not interested in their "chump change" or
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"pocket change" and that wouldn't even cover one of your all night party
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expenses.
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I like to keep them on the line as long as I can to waste their time. If a
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question they ask requires an immediate response, tell them to hold for a
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minute to answer the door. Wait 5 minutes then pick back up and tell them to
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repeat what they were just talking about. Keep it going for as long as you
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can. When they spend all that time on you and they don't get a sale they (or
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their employer) lose money.
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If they are selling a product, ask if it is made in Taiwan or Japan (etc..),
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if it is give them a lecture about child slave labor, and how you lost your
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job to an overseas company.
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--
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Screw with their minds. When they call, ask them if they will do the work on
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a dirt house. Ask if the maintaince guys would mind retrieving your 2 pet
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slugs that escaped into the basement, and have since multiplied.
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You can also tell them you're not allowed to talk to anyone until your
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assault case has been heard. Then just hang up.
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Another solution is to ask the telemarketer for his/her home phone number.
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They will probably ask you why you need their home number, or something to
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|
that effect, just tell them you want to think over buying the product and
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will call them when you make up your mind [probably around 3AM.]
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--
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Pretend to be really fired up about their product. Then, when the time comes
|
|
to close the purchase, try to use your Sears card or Zellers card something
|
|
that is not viable currency, then insist that the company is at fault for
|
|
not taking that card.
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#098 CAR ALARMS By Shane
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Write a message on a piece of paper, wrap the paper around a brick and place
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|
the brick on top of the bonnet/hood of the offending car whose alarm
|
|
constantly goes off. The message could be something like, "Next time your
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|
alarm goes off, this brick will go through your window - Prick."
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#099 EX-BOY/GIRLFRIENDS. By Panhead.
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|
A good idea, if you want to get even with your former boyfriend who left you
|
|
for another woman, is to meet up at one of his appearances being pregnant --
|
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even a pillow tucked inside should cause enough damage -- and demand
|
|
satisfaction. After talking to him, talk to his new found love, then leave.
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Ed> This should be done within a proper time after the breakup.
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------------------------------------------ Norway, Tromsø, 28. December 1996
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