102 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
102 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
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****** ******
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****** The FIXER is back with ******
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****** PRANKS, REVENGE, and GENERAL MAYHEM vol. 13 ******
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****** (The Onslaught Continues) ******
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****** ******
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****** This time 'round: ******
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****** "NOOO0000!!!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! NOT..... ******
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****** "STILL MORE KRAZY GLUE TRICKS" !! ******
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****** ******
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****** Call the NEW Neutral Zone /// 10 meg AE/GBBS 6044781363 ******
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****** BC Tel Phone Mart GBBS 6046581586 ******
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*******************************************************************************
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*SIGH* Well, I have been collecting new Krazy Glue Tricks for six months now
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and it's high time I put them in a file..... So without further ado.......
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Basically Krazy Glue Tricks involve making things incapable of operating by
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freezing the inner workings. So it should come as no surprise that these and
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all other Krazy Glue tricks have an amazing similarity, like they are all
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brothers and sisters (incestuous little buggers), but this only adds a new
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dimension of evil to them.............
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Buttons.
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I have expounded in the past upon Krazy Gluing many things but buttons have
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been largely ignored. Here I will explain the expected results of pushing a
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button and Krazy Gluing it in that position.
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- Keys on a Pay Phone: New Phone Time!
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- Elevator Buttons (try the top few floors): people will begin to wonder just
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why every trip the elevator makes an unscheduled stop at each of the top 10
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floors.
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- Keypad on a Remote Control. Do this one button per day. The victim will
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be able to tune fewer and fewer stations every day and this is what is known
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as SLOW TORTURE, boys and girls. And that's what this file is all about.
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- This also works well on those phones with a row of buttons for its
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"quick calling" demon dialer. Every day freeze a button from most frequently
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used to least. If you do this in conjunction with the remote control or
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other such keypad devices, the torture grows exponentially. And the damage
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is often irreparable (as Krazy Glue solvent doesn't ONLY dissolve Krazy Glue)
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- I have often told of pouring Krazy Glue into the keys of a computer. But
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why not just do the REPT key and see how much fun we have...if the victim is
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a real stiff he will have the keyboard ROM replaced before he figures out
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that the REPT contacts were glued down and the key and spring left working...
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- Some intersections are controlled entirely by the WALK button. So it seems
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that if that button were pressed continually the light would turn red every
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thirty seconds instead of, well, never if it was left alone... During rush
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hour this can get good, but don't do it if you live in Southern California
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near a freeway...You're too young to die.....
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- Got an enemy with a satellite dish? You say his folks watch the bible
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bangers network? PERFECT. On Saturday Night go and move his satellite dish
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to point at a sat with a porno channel on it. Before doing this try to get
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in his house somehow and Krazy Glue the tuner to the transponder channel of
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XXX Network or whatever. Krazy Glue the dish in that position. USE LOTS.
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That porno is the only thing they will get until they fork out mega-bucks to
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get it all fixed, and if they were expecting Jim and Tammy, they are in for
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a massive shock. Shock and Torture. Could there be two more beautiful
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words?
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- Well, Son, it's January the 5th, high time we took the Christmas Lights down
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off the house. Sure, Dad, if only they weren't Krazy Glued to the
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eavestroughs, and the switch, breaker,and outlet all Krazy Glued so we can't
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turn them off. Well, maybe we can just unscrew the bulbs. Yeah, but they're
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stuck in somehow............
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- Ski Season! Look at them skis on the roof rack of the car that just pulled
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into the parking lot! Let's wait till they're gone inside and make sure
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those skis don't get stolen.....by Krazy Gluing 'em to the racks! There'll
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be fun on the mountain when we come....Yo ho ho and a bottle of Rum.....
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(NOTE: this tactic is guaranteed to produce frustration no matter what is on
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the racks, but skis seem to work best as it's not usually until they've
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driven 400 miles to the mountain that they even notice that the ONE thing
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they need to go skiing is stuck permanently to the roof.......)
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- People have been known to stick to their diets better when the fridge,
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freezer, stove, and all kitchen cupboards are Krazy Glued shut, and when they
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go out to the car to go hit Rotten Ronnie's, they find it Krazy Glued shut,
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and when they go back inside to order a large pizza "2fer special" they find
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the phone receiver stuck mysteriously to the base......
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- They're moving! At last you've driven your enemy out of town! Well, don't
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let 'em go without a parting shot. Before they pack up, Krazy Glue all their
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furniture to the floor......
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WHAT? THAT'S IT??? N0 WAY!!!! 0H WELL!!!!!!!!!
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Blackened is the end...
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Call Heart of Gold 6046581581
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Tardis 6046426286
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IBM Pirates eh... the rest can fuck off and die!
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