37 lines
1.8 KiB
Plaintext
37 lines
1.8 KiB
Plaintext
þáGâþ
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þárotherhood of Gíds and âetardsþ
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Improved Shoplifting Volume 1
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"Department Stores"
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by
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Dr. Bushwacker
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Lifting from department stores, I think, is probably the easiest of all
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shoplifting. The easiest way to lift something would be, say you are in
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the music department and want a CD or something, most department stores
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don't have them magnetic protection stickers on em, (even if they do,
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they usually put them on the outside of the CD and you can just tear em
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off). Anyway, what you do is grab 2 CD's off the shelf, hold both of
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them together so it looks like your looking at one. Then walk to the
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end of the shelf, (most stores have their cameras pointed at the center
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of the shelf), and bend down and mess with your shoe like your tying it
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while you slip one cd in your jacket under your arm. Then stand up like
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you just tied your shoe and walk over and place the CD back on the
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shelf as if you did not want it. Then grab a candy bar or something and
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pay for it. Now you just got a CD for the price of a Milky Way!
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Another way to get smaller items is to grab it off the shelf start to
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walk with it in one hand. As your walking, try to push it up your
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sleeve, (hopefully your wearing a long sleeve jacket with semi-tight
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cuffs to keep the items from falling out). Or if you don't, and it is
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small enough, just, while walking normally, slip it into your front
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pants pocket. Done!
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Then again, at department, well, most of them, you can just walk right
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out with the item. But that's a little too risky.
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There are tons of other ways to do this, these are just the easiest of
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the ones I can think of at my un-sober state of mind.
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