46 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
46 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
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WW W WW AA RRRRRR NN NN IIIIIIII NN NN GGGGGG
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WWW WWW WWW AAAA RR RRR NNNN NN II NNNN NN GG GG
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WWW WW WW WWW AA AA RR RRR NNNNNN NN II NNNNNN NN GG
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WWWW WWWW AAAAAAAA RRRRRR NN NNNNNN II NN NNNNNN GG GGGG
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WWW WWW AAA AAA RR RRR NN NNNN II NN NNNN GG GG
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WW WW AAA AAA RR RRR NN NN IIIIIIII NN NN GGGGGG
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TTTTT H H IIIII SSSSS M M A CCCCC H H IIIII N N EEEEE
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T H H I S MM MM A A C H H I NN N E
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T HHHHH I SSSSS M M M A A C HHHHH I N N N EEE
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T H H I S M M AAAAA C H H I N NN E
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T H H IIIII SSSSS M M A A CCCCC H H IIIII N N EEEEE
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I S S U B J E C T T O B R E A K D O W N S D U R I N G P E R I O D S
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O F C R I T I C A L N E E D!
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This machine contains a special circuit called a 'Crisis Detector'(or 'CD').
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It is specifically designed to detect the user's emotional state in terms of
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how desperately the user needs to use the machine. The machine, upon measuring
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this state, assigns a value, called the 'Crisis Detection Level' (or 'CDL').
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It has been programmed to subsequently create a malfunction in direct
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proportion to this CDL, thus rendering the machine totally and hopelessly
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useless to the user for whatever period of usefulness it may have served.
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Threatening the machine with violence, curses, obscenities, etc., may soothe
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the user, but will serve no other useful purpose, as the CD is not affected,
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and the CDL is not, repeat, NOT reset. Likewise, attempts to use another
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machine is likely to cause IT to malfunction, since they both belong to the
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same union(LOCAL #347). Just give up, and come back later, when you have
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absolutely NO use for the machine, as by then the CD will have noted your
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absence and will have reset the CDL for its next victim.
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NOTE: Attempts to go away and come back a few minutes later are not liable
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to fool the CD, as your level of desperation will only have increased during
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said period of time. Just give up. It's truly HOPELESS.
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