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* *
* "Just do it" HOW TO FUCK UP WORK "Ask not what Anarchy *
* -NIKE VOL I. can do for you, but *
* what you can do for *
* Typed by: PUBLIC ENEMY Anarchy" *
* In Association with: THE ANARCHISTS ALLIANCE -Public Enemy *
*-Mark B. you are a total dickhead! *
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RELEASED: July 8, 1989
-Formated 80 Columns because I felt like it, dammit.
NOTE: This file was written while I worked in a grocery store for some
cheap bastard. Being fired was an honor, believe me. Anyway the
Anarchy-related techniques in this article are tailor-made for a
grocery store, however many of these techniques can be used or modified
for use in other types of work. So just use your imagination. You'd
be surprised at what can happen. Really.
So you want to fuck up work, huh? Either you about to get fired, the
manager's a dick, or you just hate the fucking place. Whatever your
reason for fucking up work is, read on for some Anarchy info that will
really send your workplace to hell and back! Anybody who has worked in
a grocery store knows that there's a phone that you can make free calls
to for deliveries, orders, etc. Some fun things to do with this is to
go to the phone when nobody's looking, dial one of those sex numbers
and put a pencil or some tape between the phone and the receiver so it
dosen't hang up when you put the handpiece down. After a couple of
hours the manager will pick it up and the company then owes about
$500.00 in long distance charges. Another idea is to tape the phone to
the loudspeaker in the store so that the listening part of the phone is
taped to the speaker. Now dial the sex number and run. Soon the voice
of the sex line will go all over the store! Other fun things to do
with the phone is to make deliveries to people's houses, order pizzas,
prank people, and send shit to the manager's house. If you really want
to fuck them up prank 911, prank the operator, or call computer systems
that trace. Probably the best way to fuck them up is to take apart the
phone and cut the wire that makes the phone ring, so that it works but
nobody will be able to make an incoming call. This could really send
the store to hell because no deliveries will come. If you work in a
grocery store, you know that there are refigerated aisles for ice cream
and frozen shit. O.K. what you do is you get some Crisco baking oil
and pour it along the aisles right in front of the refrigerated
sections. Now when somebody leans over to get something they slip and
fall in the refrigerator. Me and my buddy Frank did this once and some
old lady was coming down the aisle. She reached over the side of the
refrigerator and slipped and fell right in it! I couldn't stop laugh
ing for a week. It took 2 managers to pull her out and she sued the
place. It was great. Some good stuff to do is to take bottles of
vinegar and barbecue sauce and drop them in the aisle and take off. You
can smell that shit all over the store even after they clean it up! Go
up to the deli and order about 3 pounds of fish. Just say it's for a
customer. Now when nobody's looking stick it way up a cash register or
far behind an aisle. In about 2 days the place will smell like
somebody died. If your store has radiators or heat sources, take a
carton of cream and open it up and put in the the radiator. It will
smell like somebody shit and it will blow it all over the store! This
is a great way of discourging customers! You can have lots of fun in
the supply room of your store. Go back there at night and get a carton
of eggs and throw them all over the stocked groceries. That's about a
couple hundred dollars loss because they won't be able to clean off the
eggs and they will have to trash the groceries. In the back of your
store there is an electrical box that contains all of the fuses for the
electricity. Put a C02 cartridge bomb or and M-80 and run. In about a
minute the lights and power will all go off in t he store and then it's
Anarchy Time! My friend did this once and when all of the lights were
off he started yelling FIRE! It was total chaos! And all the meats
and frozen shit melted! If you have a microwave in the break room, put
a can of soup in and run. In about 8 minutes it will blow up the whole
microwave and put shrapnel and soup all over the breakroom! Well it's
about time to wrap up Volume I. of how to fuck up work. Use this file
as a guidelines and incorporate your imagination into this shit. Great
things happen when you put your mind to it. Do shit like call in bomb
threats or say that you poisened an order of food (make sure you do it
from a payphone) or if they stick you outside and you see one of those
huge trucks about to back out, stick a cart behind it. Good luck and
don't get caught!
THE PROS
I'd like to thank all of the workers who helped make my dreams come
true. We fucked our grocery store to hell!
Call these cool boards dude:
THE HIDDEN STRONGHOLD: 1-201-226-0623
DEMON ROACH UNDERGROUND: 1-806-794-4362 PW:THRASH NU:ASPHYXIA
THE RED LIGHT BBS: 1-319-332-8268
THE CONS
Mark Bouffard you are a dick! Anybody out there that hates people who
leach, steal, and fuck others over, prank this dick at 1-216-261-0788.
If it is a long distance call, call still. Believe me it's worth the
effort and I'll be eternally greatful to you for fucking this dick
over!
Typed by: PUBLIC ENEMY with the ANARCHISTS ALLIANCE
-I am hereby not responsible for what you damage, rape, mutilate,
deform, pillage, scalp, kill, crush, manhandle, dick or fuck over. But
don't let that stop you!