textfiles/uploads/dream.txt

                                                                     
                                                                     
                                                                     
                                             

    I've come to terms with my emptiness and loneliness.
    I would be feeling sad or depressed right now.
    But I don't, I just feel a subtle numbness to the world.
    And I'm not high, I am just alive, I exist.

    I don't have any homicidal or suicidal thoughts.
    My stance on religion cannot be truly determined.
    I feel nothing towards anything religious.
    I am not an athiest though, I'm still finding my stance in this world.

    I will not complain, I will not argue, I will not conform.
    I am just living and breathing shell of something.
    I am not here to gain reputation or take it away.
    I am just trying to find the way to the truth.

    I have no idea how or when I will discover it.
    But I feel like there is something out there for me.
    I just haven't discovered it yet or possibly this is an illusion created by my mind.
    Whatever it is, it keeps me alive, my mind is filled with information.

    I do understand information can be wrong or misinformed.
    It's how you use that information that can benefit you.
    But I do feel there is something inside of me that keeps me alive.
    It is my will to be alive, however someday I may end up in an eternal rest.

    I used to question death and the after life, I used to be distraught.
    Now I am just accepting this life for what it is, everyone has a role to play.
    You may not know it, but you can feel your truest desires from within.
    We all have choices to make, they aren't pre-planned it is all random.

    We are selfish, we are giving, we are helpful, we are beings.
    Our memories maybe good, but it seems like we repeat the same mistakes time and time again.
    That is not for everyone, people learn from there mistakes.
    Humanity can be viewed as the expirementers, but at the end of the day you sleep.

    We are the sleepers, when we are awake we play our roles day by day.
    At night our mind unfolds into another realm created within our mind.
    So maybe this reality is God's dream, and when God wakes up, we vanish?
    Think about it if you were a cell inside the brain where the area that dreams are formed.
    When you wake up what happens to those cells? Do they die? Are they stored elsewhere?

    Who knows who cares right? The point is we know we physically die in this reality.

    Our energy just flows on, unfortunately people cannot escape the reality.
    Maybe this reality is my dream, but it's so superficial and physical.
    I doubt this is just my dream, but multiple dreamers in this physical reality.
    But honestly I believe this is just a world, we live in it, we die in it.
    That is the end my friends, life is an experience, we did not choose it.
    We did not have a choice, we just accept it, we make something of it.

    Anyways I doubt that what I say matters, the words I, me, the meanings are just bat shit insane.

    What importance am I to the world? I am just a disposable physical shell made up of cells.
    With a brain that has a network of neurons firing away. I wasted your time, but time doesn't exist only our meaning of it does.

    So enjoy the ride, may you live forever and experience multiple realities and experiences.
    Inside this infinite spiritual life journey that we will one day all share again.

    Hope to meet you all someday in another life and this life.
    But who am I kidding we know we only get one shot at this physical reality.
    I hope there is other realities where we can experience a different life.
    Because life wasn't easy for me in this life, but I don't complain or cry about it.

    I do wish someday to be able to travel to other planets and meet other beings.
    Spiritually or physically, who am I kidding right? just myself...

    Signed - XERCES - JULY 6TH 2010